{"id":301776,"date":"2009-03-02T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-02T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/encouraging-your-wife-through-a-move\/"},"modified":"2009-03-02T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-02T17:00:00","slug":"encouraging-your-wife-through-a-move","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/encouraging-your-wife-through-a-move\/","title":{"rendered":"Encouraging Your Wife Through a Move"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Relocating your family can be stressful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-03-02.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.08M","filesize_raw":"12668394","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901],"tags":[5043,5044],"podcast_series":[7632],"cwp_profile":[3310],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301776","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","tag-moving","tag-relocation","podcast_series-after-the-boxes-are-unpacked","cwp_profile-susan-miller","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301776\/encouraging-your-wife-through-a-move","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301776\/encouraging-your-wife-through-a-move","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Esqn6cYVik\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/encouraging-your-wife-through-a-move\/\">Encouraging Your Wife Through a Move<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/encouraging-your-wife-through-a-move\/embed\/#?secret=Esqn6cYVik\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Encouraging Your Wife Through a Move&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Esqn6cYVik\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-03-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-03-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> So many times Bill and I would be living under the same roof but be miles apart.\u00a0 And, you know, the distance between us at the different seasons of our life when we moved, and the different stresses and pressures, and I think sometimes, as women, we get caught up in those circumstances and sometimes, you know, I would just say, \"Lord, I've got to focus on what's real and important and doesn't change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, March 2nd.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 How does someone keep the right perspective and stay spiritually anchored in the midst of a move?\u00a0 We'll talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Can I tell you something really, really stupid I did once?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was back in 1984.\u00a0 Mary Ann and I had been married for five years, and we were moving.\u00a0 We were going to be moving from Tulsa, which is the town where Mary Ann grew up, where all of her family lived; going to be moving to Phoenix, Arizona.\u00a0 And our house hadn't sold yet in Tulsa, but I needed to be out in Phoenix for the job, so I went on ahead, and I said, \"I'll look for a new house out here in Phoenix, find something that we can move into.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I remember this story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And here is the other thing I said \u2013 \"The company has agreed that they'll pay for our move.\u00a0 In fact, they'll pay for the guys to come in and do the boxing up and the whole thing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What a deal, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So I found the house.\u00a0 Of course, in those days, you really couldn't send back pictures via the Internet to let your wife see what the house looked like.\u00a0 Mary Ann hadn't seen any of it.\u00a0 And then, once I'd found the house that she hadn't seen and put the offer in on it, because I knew that the company was paying for the move, I thought, well, it's all taken care of.\u00a0 I don't need to go back and help with that.\u00a0 I mean, they'll just load it all on the truck and get it out here, and I'll just wait here until they come.\u00a0 Pretty stupid, don't you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I always thought \u2013 you know, I'd heard the story.\u00a0 I'd only heard that you bought the house without Mary Ann seeing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, yeah, but \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But the rest of the story is that you \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just waited in Phoenix \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 let her move?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She handled it all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you're the one who wrote the book \u2013 what's the name of the book you wrote, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \"The Christian Husband,\" or \"Mistakes I've Made and How You Can Learn From Them.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What if, Bob \u2013 think about this for a moment, now, I'm serious \u2013 think about this \u2013 what if you could have called anyone in America and had America's moving coach to have coached you through that move.\u00a0 Who would you have called?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I wouldn't have any idea who to call, but I do today.\u00a0 Now I would have called Susan Miller and said, \"Help!\u00a0 Help!\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And she's here \u2013 mysteriously and magically she's here \u2013 Susan, welcome to FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I can't tell you how excited I am to be here with you and Bob, Dennis.\u00a0 This is so awesome.\u00a0 We're going to talk my language today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That's right.\u00a0 Was there any hope for Bob back then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> You know, there was, he just didn't know it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I certainly didn't.\u00a0 That's pretty obvious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Susan and her husband have been married 42 years.\u00a0 They have two children, six grandchildren, and she is the president and founder of Just Moved.\u00a0 And she is America's moving coach, and she's written a book called \"After the Boxes are Unpacked, Moving On after Moving In.\"\u00a0 And I have to say, Susan, I've got a pretty thick bunch of research that was done \u2013 not by any random group of people.\u00a0 This research here, it's over 50 pages of research was done on our staff who have joined FamilyLife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur ministry has been a very rapid-growing ministry for a number of years.\u00a0 We've had a number of people relocate and bring their experience and hearts for the family here to FamilyLife, and we began to realize that we weren't getting it right about this subject of moving, and so we asked their opinion.\u00a0 And I'm going to tell you something \u2013 moving is hard on people, isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yes, it is.\u00a0 It's very hard.\u00a0 It's an emotional adjustment.\u00a0 It's when a family is uprooted.\u00a0 Many times a marriage is impacted.\u00a0 For many women and many husbands, it is like a brick in the wall that builds between them.\u00a0 And it's very traumatic.\u00a0 Moving is a crisis, and a lot of people don't realize it does have a beginning and an end, but it's what happens during that time that's vital to the family and to the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You went through 14 crises \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Fourteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2026 early in your marriage, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I did, indeed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Every other year, about, you were moving?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> About every two to three years.\u00a0 Bill was in the hospitality industry in the hotel business, and that's part of the corporate game is moving every two to three years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now that probably \u2013 when you got married, you probably weren't thinking, \"We'll get married, and then we'll move every two years.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, not at all.\u00a0 Listen, I'm a Southerner.\u00a0 My vision of marriage was a white picket fence with my husband coming home every day at 5 and us sitting down to dinner and having family time.\u00a0 And little did I know that in the hotel business, it's 365 days a year, 24 hours a day.\u00a0 So it was very hard on our marriage, very, very hard, and we learned a lot.\u00a0 We learned a lot about God's faithfulness and about each other and about what we would have to do as a couple to hold it together during all of those moves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you remember the first time he came home and said, \"The company wants to move us to\" \u2013 wherever.\u00a0 Where was it, do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yes, it was North Carolina.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you'd been living in Florida?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I'd been living in Georgia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In Georgia, so he says, \"The company wants to move us to North Carolina, and you thought, \"Well, that will be fun,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> No, I didn't.\u00a0 Can I be honest?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> There is somebody listening to us that's saying, \"Yes, I understand.\"\u00a0 I was so furious with Bill, I wanted to pack him in a box and put him in the garage, because I thought, \"How can you do this?\u00a0 How can you\" \u2013 in fact, it's so vivid in my mind right now \u2013 \"How can you do this?\u00a0 How can you take me away?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you cry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, I cried, I wouldn't speak to him, I thought, you know, \"I just don't like you anymore.\u00a0 You're moving me away from my church, my family, my friends, everything I know, all that's familiar to take me to a place I know nothing about.\u00a0 All for career.\"\u00a0 And it was very, very hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see, a move is something a woman feels and a man does.\u00a0 And that's the key for men to understand that it is losing that sense of community and that sense of belonging for a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There are really two kinds of people \u2013 there are those people who resist change, who don't adapt well to change, who take a long time to change, and there is a second group of people who actually thrive on change.\u00a0 And they love to create change, it's a rush for them, and they usually marry each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> That's right.\u00a0 And you've got those that have their heels always set.\u00a0 I had my heels in the Georgia clay.\u00a0 You know, \"Don't move me out of Georgia,\" and Bill was ready to go \u2013 adventure, job challenge, climbing the corporate ladder.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So he liked the change then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, he loved it, and I was just kicking and screaming the whole way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you ever think about digging in those heels and saying, \"You know, if you want to go, fine.\u00a0 I'll be here.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, that's a serious card.\u00a0 They're just newly married here, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know, but he's moving her to North Carolina.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, she wants to put him in a box in the garage.\u00a0 It sounds pretty serious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, you could have played the card that said, you know, \"Which is more important, your career or me?\u00a0 Which is more important, moving to North Carolina and company advancement or our family?\"\u00a0 You could have said those things.\u00a0 Did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> That was the choice I made, Bob, because of the biblical principles that I know \u2013 the family that I was raised in, because I don't believe in divorce, I don't believe in being separated.\u00a0 It wasn't all about me, and it wasn't all about Bill, but it was about, at that time, bread and butter on the table.\u00a0 And I would follow him out of my love and commitment to him to the ends of the earth.\u00a0 Now, I may go kicking and screaming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a little pouting and punishing going on, right, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yeah, and he may know that this is certainly not making Susan happy, but I would follow him to the ends of the earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let's go back to that incident in your home when he came and first announced that he wanted to move to North Carolina.\u00a0 What should he have done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> He should have, instead of walking up behind me in the kitchen and saying, \"Guess what!\u00a0 I've got some exciting news!\u00a0 We're going to Phoenix,\" for example.\u00a0 This is when we were moving to Phoenix.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is the change junkie.\u00a0 This is the guy who likes to create change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yeah, he was so excited!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He's disrupting your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, yes, totally.\u00a0 And I said, \"We're what?\"\u00a0 He said, \"Yeah, in six weeks we're going to Phoenix, Arizona.\"\u00a0 This was a very traumatic move from Atlanta to Phoenix.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So this is another move?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, yeah, this is another one.\u00a0 I'm just going, kind of, through the list.\u00a0 And he was so excited.\u00a0 There was actually excitement in his voice and joy in his eyes, and I turned around, and my eyes were brimming with tears, and I said, \"We're going where?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I don't know anything about cowboys and Indians.\u00a0 Do they shop in Phoenix?\"\u00a0 I mean, I didn't even \u2013 I said, \"I know all about the Civil War.\u00a0 I don't know anything about the Southwest.\"\u00a0 You know, and, of course, now we love Phoenix.\u00a0 I mean, I did go kicking and screaming but, you know, Phoenix \u2013 Arizona is a part of our heart and our life, but it \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So he shouldn't have walked up behind you and shocked you.\u00a0 What should he have done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Well, I would have loved it, and I know women listening would have loved to have had the stage set a little better, a little more intimate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Set the table?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Set the table, exactly.\u00a0 Sit down with me and say, \"You know, we have an opportunity together as a family.\u00a0 We have an opportunity to move, and I want to know how you feel about it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let's discuss this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Let's discuss it.\u00a0 Tell me how you feel about it.\u00a0 We don't always have choices in the corporate world \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you realize how difficult this is for a man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, Bill says today \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is a foreign language for a lot of men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, he said that.\u00a0 He said \u2013 when we give our marriage testimony he said, \"Guys, if you walk up and just put your arms around your wife, it just does so much better than being totally isolated from them, if you just communicate with them.\"\u00a0 And he didn't know how to do that at the time and wasn't equipped.\u00a0 But that's what every woman would love, is to be in the loop and to be included.\u00a0 Even though you may not change the decision, you can be part of that and part of the process of that.\u00a0 It's huge for a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So out of your 14, now, tell the truth \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I will.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If we sense \u2013 if Bob and I sense that you're shading it here, I'm going to call your husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Okay, and he's ready.\u00a0 He's sitting by the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Is he really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> He's ready to give you his input on this whole thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I'll tell you what, you answer this question, and while you're answering the question, let's get him on the phone, and let's just find out what the truth is \u2013 of the 14, how many of them did you go kicking and screaming?\u00a0 Because there's something \u2013 there's a common thread here that Bob and I are hearing in these stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yes, 13.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There are a lot of ruts being created throughout the South and all the way to the Southwest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, yeah, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So which one \u2013 there was one you didn't kick and scream?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yeah, and that was when we moved on the other side of Atlanta \u2013 we moved from one side to the other side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were okay with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I was okay with that one completely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> All right, let's get her husband on the phone, and let's find out the rest of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Hello?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bill, hi, it's Bob Lepine at FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Hey, how are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Doing fine, how are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Good, sir.\u00a0 Are you taking care of my wife there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are.\u00a0 This is Dennis.\u00a0 I just wanted to call you and just verify some facts of the story here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Bill laughs]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot because your wife is untrustworthy, we just want to make sure we're getting the whole \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want your side of the story on this, too, Bill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, it's about time somebody got my side of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There we go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bill, here's the question \u2013 you moved your wife 14 times in the early years of your marriage, is that correct?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Yes, that's true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And how many of those times would you say your wife lovingly and graciously smiled and said, \"Honey, if you think this is the right thing for us, I'm behind you 100 percent?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> You know, it was every one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [laughing] That's worth one point, Bill.\u00a0 You just got one point, but you have until sunset to cash in the point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She did that every time but only after she had pouted a little bit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, no, I wouldn't say she pouted.\u00a0 I think she had real long, deep conversations with our Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She went to God and poured out her heart to Him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> That's right, because I didn't understand any of it.\u00a0 She had to go to God, because He was the only one that moved there with us that she could talk to that understood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bill, when did it dawn on you in the midst of all of this that moving was hard for your wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> You know, it wasn't until we came to Arizona, really.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was that the 14th move, Bill?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Yeah, yeah, I'm a slow learner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The 20-plus years of moving from place to place to place, you weren't catching onto the fact that this was a challenge for your wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Isn't that terrible?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What ministry are you in there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have a ministry at Scottsdale Bible, one of the leading churches in America.\u00a0 Would you share with our listeners what ministry that is, Bill?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> It's the marriage ministry at Scottsdale Bible Church, which gives you a real glimpse into the sense of humor that God has.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No, you're just like us.\u00a0 We just take all the mistakes we've made and share them with others and say, \"Now, don't you do this,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let me tell you how she answered the question, and I did tell her that we would likely call you, but she said that she went kicking and screaming 13 out of 14 times.\u00a0 The only move, she said \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let's see if he knows.\u00a0 Can you guess which one was the only one she didn't kick and scream on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It's when you moved from South Atlanta to North Atlanta.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That one was okay with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> You're doing so good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> That was probably it but, you know, she kicked softly and screamed quietly, and so she always knew that that was her role \u2013 was to just encourage the family, encourage the kids and encourage me in our transition. And so that is such a wonderful gift that God gave each of us through her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Susan, your kicking and screaming was on the inside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely, and that's part of what is in my book that reveals the need women have to unpack emotionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bill, I have two things I want to say.\u00a0 First of all, what you just said is worth another point.\u00a0 You just showed great wisdom in what you said by complimenting your wife by being a woman who looked to God in the process of going through something that maybe on the inside she was struggling with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the second thing I want you to comment on is \u2013 would you help women, just for a moment, help them understand how men view moves?\u00a0 Because they're scratching their heads on this thing, and they're going, \"Why does he brings all this disruption on my family?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why is this such a big deal, anyway?\u00a0 I mean, it's a move, it's an adventure.\u00a0 It can be fun.\u00a0 You get to see a new city, you get to try new things, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Yeah, that's true, but there's a lot of fears and some frustrations and some pressures that we feel as we move into the new job in a new location, and we really need the love and support and the encouragement and the approval of our mates during that time.\u00a0 And it's not that we're not caring, it's just sometimes we are so busy trying to keep our head above water in our new circumstance, that sometimes we take our eyes off of our mate and even sometimes we take our eyes off of our Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Susan, a move is stressful in different ways on both a husband and a wife, and those stresses can cause a couple to move toward isolation if they don't intentionally move toward one another and get out of their own stuff, their own issues, and really help one another with what's going on in each other's lives, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> That's right, that's right.\u00a0 So many times Bill and I would be living under the same roof but be miles apart.\u00a0 And, you know, the distance between us at the different seasons of our life when we moved, and the different stresses and pressures and teenagers and young kids and, you know, all of those things that attribute to another change in life, sometimes would be that brick in the wall, or as I tell many women, you know, we lived under the same roof, but we were miles apart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think the fact that we lose sight of what's important, we lose sight of, you know, \"Hey, jobs come and go, but we're here for each other, and we're going to stock together through thick and thin,\" and I think those are things sometimes, as women, we lose sight of.\u00a0 We get so tied up in our circumstances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, you know, I always tell young couples, \"I am not a victim of my circumstances in moving.\"\u00a0 There is victory \u2013 I claim victory in Jesus Christ, and our marriage is a platform today, through God's grace and mercy.\u00a0 And the fact that we were committed, and I think today people don't know what that word \"commitment\" means, but we are committed and, hey, I've been married 42 years and proud of it, and let me tell you something else.\u00a0 My heart still beats when I hear the garage door go up, and Bill drives in every day from work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a little twinkle in your eye when he said hello on the phone here just a minute ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, isn't that just great to hear?\u00a0 Thank you, honey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That makes your day.\u00a0 It brought a grin to my face, just to hear you be honest and I just appreciate you and Susan and your ministry there in Scottsdale.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We appreciate you joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Thank you.\u00a0 Take good care of my wife and send her home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We'll do it.\u00a0 Thanks, Bill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bye-bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Bye-bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, he really was a good sport to allow us to interrupt his afternoon.\u00a0 He didn't have any warning, and I was impressed.\u00a0 He got two points in one phone call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can make a phone call and get negative points.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it may be that there is a husband listening who would like to get some points of his own and to do that all he needs to do is go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and get a copy of Susan's book, \"After the Boxes are Unpacked,\" and then when it shows up, say, \"You know, I knew that this move was hard for you.\u00a0 I thought this book might be helpful.\u00a0 Maybe we could read through it together, sweetheart.\"\u00a0 That's got to give you 2+ points, I would think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Again, the title of the book is \"After the Boxes are Unpacked.\"\u00a0 If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, there is more information about the book available there.\u00a0 Also information about the book that Susan wrote for children called \"But, Mom, I don't Want to Move,\" that's designed to help a parent help a child through the process of a move, especially if there have been relationships left behind or \u2013 it can be hard for kids to make a move.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, both of the resources can be found on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can order from us online, if you'd like.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we can have someone on our team make arrangements to have either or both of these books sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, there is a link to the FamilyLife Mom Blog, and on the Mom Blog this week, we have included some of the best moving tips we've received from some of our staff here at FamilyLife and other moms who have joined in.\u00a0 You may want to add some of your own moving ideas.\u00a0 So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link to the Mom Blog, and you can read through some of the suggestions that have come from FamilyLife staff and from other moms about moving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our goal here at FamilyLife is to provide you with practical biblical help for all kinds of issues that you face as you raise your children, as you seek to make your marriage all that God intends for it to be, and we are listener-supported, which means that FamilyLife Today depends on contributions from folks like you who tune in to listen to this program each day and who benefit from what you hear on the program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month we want to do something special for listeners who are able to help us with a donation to the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We'd like to send you a DVD.\u00a0 It actually includes two different movies.\u00a0 There is the movie that tells the story of Jesus, the most widely seen movie of all time.\u00a0 It's called \"The Jesus Movie,\" and then there is also the story of Jesus for children, which is a retelling of the story of the life of Jesus presented through the eyes of children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of these movies are on a single DVD, and we'd love to send it out to you in time for Easter this year so that you and your family could watch it together, especially if you have younger children.\u00a0 It's a great DVD to get because the story is told realistically, but it is not as violent as some other movies about Jesus have been.\u00a0 Again, we're making the DVD available this month as a thank you gift for anyone who supports the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're making the donation online, you just need to type the word \"JesusDVD\" into the keycode box without any space in between, just \"JesusDVD\" and that will let us know that you want the DVD sent to you.\u00a0 Or make your donation over the phone at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Just tell the person on our team who answers the phone that you'd like the Jesus DVD, and we'll make sure it gets sent to you.\u00a0 Again, thanks for your financial support of this ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow we're going to be back to talk more about how we deal with the stresses that come when we change addresses.\u00a0 Susan Miller will join us tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 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your family can be stressful.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-03-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> So many times Bill and I would be living under the same roof but be miles apart.\u00a0 And, you know, the distance between us at the different seasons of our life when we moved, and the different stresses and pressures, and I think sometimes, as women, we get caught up in those circumstances and sometimes, you know, I would just say, \"Lord, I've got to focus on what's real and important and doesn't change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, March 2nd.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 How does someone keep the right perspective and stay spiritually anchored in the midst of a move?\u00a0 We'll talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Can I tell you something really, really stupid I did once?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was back in 1984.\u00a0 Mary Ann and I had been married for five years, and we were moving.\u00a0 We were going to be moving from Tulsa, which is the town where Mary Ann grew up, where all of her family lived; going to be moving to Phoenix, Arizona.\u00a0 And our house hadn't sold yet in Tulsa, but I needed to be out in Phoenix for the job, so I went on ahead, and I said, \"I'll look for a new house out here in Phoenix, find something that we can move into.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I remember this story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And here is the other thing I said \u2013 \"The company has agreed that they'll pay for our move.\u00a0 In fact, they'll pay for the guys to come in and do the boxing up and the whole thing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What a deal, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So I found the house.\u00a0 Of course, in those days, you really couldn't send back pictures via the Internet to let your wife see what the house looked like.\u00a0 Mary Ann hadn't seen any of it.\u00a0 And then, once I'd found the house that she hadn't seen and put the offer in on it, because I knew that the company was paying for the move, I thought, well, it's all taken care of.\u00a0 I don't need to go back and help with that.\u00a0 I mean, they'll just load it all on the truck and get it out here, and I'll just wait here until they come.\u00a0 Pretty stupid, don't you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I always thought \u2013 you know, I'd heard the story.\u00a0 I'd only heard that you bought the house without Mary Ann seeing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, yeah, but \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But the rest of the story is that you \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just waited in Phoenix \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 let her move?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She handled it all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you're the one who wrote the book \u2013 what's the name of the book you wrote, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \"The Christian Husband,\" or \"Mistakes I've Made and How You Can Learn From Them.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What if, Bob \u2013 think about this for a moment, now, I'm serious \u2013 think about this \u2013 what if you could have called anyone in America and had America's moving coach to have coached you through that move.\u00a0 Who would you have called?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I wouldn't have any idea who to call, but I do today.\u00a0 Now I would have called Susan Miller and said, \"Help!\u00a0 Help!\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And she's here \u2013 mysteriously and magically she's here \u2013 Susan, welcome to FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I can't tell you how excited I am to be here with you and Bob, Dennis.\u00a0 This is so awesome.\u00a0 We're going to talk my language today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That's right.\u00a0 Was there any hope for Bob back then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> You know, there was, he just didn't know it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I certainly didn't.\u00a0 That's pretty obvious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Susan and her husband have been married 42 years.\u00a0 They have two children, six grandchildren, and she is the president and founder of Just Moved.\u00a0 And she is America's moving coach, and she's written a book called \"After the Boxes are Unpacked, Moving On after Moving In.\"\u00a0 And I have to say, Susan, I've got a pretty thick bunch of research that was done \u2013 not by any random group of people.\u00a0 This research here, it's over 50 pages of research was done on our staff who have joined FamilyLife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur ministry has been a very rapid-growing ministry for a number of years.\u00a0 We've had a number of people relocate and bring their experience and hearts for the family here to FamilyLife, and we began to realize that we weren't getting it right about this subject of moving, and so we asked their opinion.\u00a0 And I'm going to tell you something \u2013 moving is hard on people, isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yes, it is.\u00a0 It's very hard.\u00a0 It's an emotional adjustment.\u00a0 It's when a family is uprooted.\u00a0 Many times a marriage is impacted.\u00a0 For many women and many husbands, it is like a brick in the wall that builds between them.\u00a0 And it's very traumatic.\u00a0 Moving is a crisis, and a lot of people don't realize it does have a beginning and an end, but it's what happens during that time that's vital to the family and to the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You went through 14 crises \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Fourteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2026 early in your marriage, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I did, indeed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Every other year, about, you were moving?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> About every two to three years.\u00a0 Bill was in the hospitality industry in the hotel business, and that's part of the corporate game is moving every two to three years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now that probably \u2013 when you got married, you probably weren't thinking, \"We'll get married, and then we'll move every two years.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, not at all.\u00a0 Listen, I'm a Southerner.\u00a0 My vision of marriage was a white picket fence with my husband coming home every day at 5 and us sitting down to dinner and having family time.\u00a0 And little did I know that in the hotel business, it's 365 days a year, 24 hours a day.\u00a0 So it was very hard on our marriage, very, very hard, and we learned a lot.\u00a0 We learned a lot about God's faithfulness and about each other and about what we would have to do as a couple to hold it together during all of those moves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you remember the first time he came home and said, \"The company wants to move us to\" \u2013 wherever.\u00a0 Where was it, do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yes, it was North Carolina.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you'd been living in Florida?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I'd been living in Georgia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In Georgia, so he says, \"The company wants to move us to North Carolina, and you thought, \"Well, that will be fun,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> No, I didn't.\u00a0 Can I be honest?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> There is somebody listening to us that's saying, \"Yes, I understand.\"\u00a0 I was so furious with Bill, I wanted to pack him in a box and put him in the garage, because I thought, \"How can you do this?\u00a0 How can you\" \u2013 in fact, it's so vivid in my mind right now \u2013 \"How can you do this?\u00a0 How can you take me away?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you cry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, I cried, I wouldn't speak to him, I thought, you know, \"I just don't like you anymore.\u00a0 You're moving me away from my church, my family, my friends, everything I know, all that's familiar to take me to a place I know nothing about.\u00a0 All for career.\"\u00a0 And it was very, very hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see, a move is something a woman feels and a man does.\u00a0 And that's the key for men to understand that it is losing that sense of community and that sense of belonging for a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There are really two kinds of people \u2013 there are those people who resist change, who don't adapt well to change, who take a long time to change, and there is a second group of people who actually thrive on change.\u00a0 And they love to create change, it's a rush for them, and they usually marry each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> That's right.\u00a0 And you've got those that have their heels always set.\u00a0 I had my heels in the Georgia clay.\u00a0 You know, \"Don't move me out of Georgia,\" and Bill was ready to go \u2013 adventure, job challenge, climbing the corporate ladder.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So he liked the change then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, he loved it, and I was just kicking and screaming the whole way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you ever think about digging in those heels and saying, \"You know, if you want to go, fine.\u00a0 I'll be here.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, that's a serious card.\u00a0 They're just newly married here, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know, but he's moving her to North Carolina.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, she wants to put him in a box in the garage.\u00a0 It sounds pretty serious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, you could have played the card that said, you know, \"Which is more important, your career or me?\u00a0 Which is more important, moving to North Carolina and company advancement or our family?\"\u00a0 You could have said those things.\u00a0 Did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> That was the choice I made, Bob, because of the biblical principles that I know \u2013 the family that I was raised in, because I don't believe in divorce, I don't believe in being separated.\u00a0 It wasn't all about me, and it wasn't all about Bill, but it was about, at that time, bread and butter on the table.\u00a0 And I would follow him out of my love and commitment to him to the ends of the earth.\u00a0 Now, I may go kicking and screaming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a little pouting and punishing going on, right, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yeah, and he may know that this is certainly not making Susan happy, but I would follow him to the ends of the earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let's go back to that incident in your home when he came and first announced that he wanted to move to North Carolina.\u00a0 What should he have done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> He should have, instead of walking up behind me in the kitchen and saying, \"Guess what!\u00a0 I've got some exciting news!\u00a0 We're going to Phoenix,\" for example.\u00a0 This is when we were moving to Phoenix.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is the change junkie.\u00a0 This is the guy who likes to create change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yeah, he was so excited!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He's disrupting your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, yes, totally.\u00a0 And I said, \"We're what?\"\u00a0 He said, \"Yeah, in six weeks we're going to Phoenix, Arizona.\"\u00a0 This was a very traumatic move from Atlanta to Phoenix.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So this is another move?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, yeah, this is another one.\u00a0 I'm just going, kind of, through the list.\u00a0 And he was so excited.\u00a0 There was actually excitement in his voice and joy in his eyes, and I turned around, and my eyes were brimming with tears, and I said, \"We're going where?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I don't know anything about cowboys and Indians.\u00a0 Do they shop in Phoenix?\"\u00a0 I mean, I didn't even \u2013 I said, \"I know all about the Civil War.\u00a0 I don't know anything about the Southwest.\"\u00a0 You know, and, of course, now we love Phoenix.\u00a0 I mean, I did go kicking and screaming but, you know, Phoenix \u2013 Arizona is a part of our heart and our life, but it \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So he shouldn't have walked up behind you and shocked you.\u00a0 What should he have done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Well, I would have loved it, and I know women listening would have loved to have had the stage set a little better, a little more intimate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Set the table?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Set the table, exactly.\u00a0 Sit down with me and say, \"You know, we have an opportunity together as a family.\u00a0 We have an opportunity to move, and I want to know how you feel about it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let's discuss this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Let's discuss it.\u00a0 Tell me how you feel about it.\u00a0 We don't always have choices in the corporate world \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you realize how difficult this is for a man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, Bill says today \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is a foreign language for a lot of men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, he said that.\u00a0 He said \u2013 when we give our marriage testimony he said, \"Guys, if you walk up and just put your arms around your wife, it just does so much better than being totally isolated from them, if you just communicate with them.\"\u00a0 And he didn't know how to do that at the time and wasn't equipped.\u00a0 But that's what every woman would love, is to be in the loop and to be included.\u00a0 Even though you may not change the decision, you can be part of that and part of the process of that.\u00a0 It's huge for a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So out of your 14, now, tell the truth \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I will.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If we sense \u2013 if Bob and I sense that you're shading it here, I'm going to call your husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Okay, and he's ready.\u00a0 He's sitting by the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Is he really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> He's ready to give you his input on this whole thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I'll tell you what, you answer this question, and while you're answering the question, let's get him on the phone, and let's just find out what the truth is \u2013 of the 14, how many of them did you go kicking and screaming?\u00a0 Because there's something \u2013 there's a common thread here that Bob and I are hearing in these stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yes, 13.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There are a lot of ruts being created throughout the South and all the way to the Southwest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, yeah, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So which one \u2013 there was one you didn't kick and scream?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Yeah, and that was when we moved on the other side of Atlanta \u2013 we moved from one side to the other side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were okay with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I was okay with that one completely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> All right, let's get her husband on the phone, and let's find out the rest of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Hello?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bill, hi, it's Bob Lepine at FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Hey, how are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Doing fine, how are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Good, sir.\u00a0 Are you taking care of my wife there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are.\u00a0 This is Dennis.\u00a0 I just wanted to call you and just verify some facts of the story here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Bill laughs]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot because your wife is untrustworthy, we just want to make sure we're getting the whole \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want your side of the story on this, too, Bill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, it's about time somebody got my side of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There we go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bill, here's the question \u2013 you moved your wife 14 times in the early years of your marriage, is that correct?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Yes, that's true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And how many of those times would you say your wife lovingly and graciously smiled and said, \"Honey, if you think this is the right thing for us, I'm behind you 100 percent?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> You know, it was every one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [laughing] That's worth one point, Bill.\u00a0 You just got one point, but you have until sunset to cash in the point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She did that every time but only after she had pouted a little bit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, no, I wouldn't say she pouted.\u00a0 I think she had real long, deep conversations with our Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She went to God and poured out her heart to Him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> That's right, because I didn't understand any of it.\u00a0 She had to go to God, because He was the only one that moved there with us that she could talk to that understood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bill, when did it dawn on you in the midst of all of this that moving was hard for your wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> You know, it wasn't until we came to Arizona, really.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was that the 14th move, Bill?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Yeah, yeah, I'm a slow learner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The 20-plus years of moving from place to place to place, you weren't catching onto the fact that this was a challenge for your wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Isn't that terrible?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What ministry are you in there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have a ministry at Scottsdale Bible, one of the leading churches in America.\u00a0 Would you share with our listeners what ministry that is, Bill?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> It's the marriage ministry at Scottsdale Bible Church, which gives you a real glimpse into the sense of humor that God has.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No, you're just like us.\u00a0 We just take all the mistakes we've made and share them with others and say, \"Now, don't you do this,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let me tell you how she answered the question, and I did tell her that we would likely call you, but she said that she went kicking and screaming 13 out of 14 times.\u00a0 The only move, she said \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let's see if he knows.\u00a0 Can you guess which one was the only one she didn't kick and scream on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It's when you moved from South Atlanta to North Atlanta.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That one was okay with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> You're doing so good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> That was probably it but, you know, she kicked softly and screamed quietly, and so she always knew that that was her role \u2013 was to just encourage the family, encourage the kids and encourage me in our transition. And so that is such a wonderful gift that God gave each of us through her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Susan, your kicking and screaming was on the inside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely, and that's part of what is in my book that reveals the need women have to unpack emotionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bill, I have two things I want to say.\u00a0 First of all, what you just said is worth another point.\u00a0 You just showed great wisdom in what you said by complimenting your wife by being a woman who looked to God in the process of going through something that maybe on the inside she was struggling with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the second thing I want you to comment on is \u2013 would you help women, just for a moment, help them understand how men view moves?\u00a0 Because they're scratching their heads on this thing, and they're going, \"Why does he brings all this disruption on my family?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why is this such a big deal, anyway?\u00a0 I mean, it's a move, it's an adventure.\u00a0 It can be fun.\u00a0 You get to see a new city, you get to try new things, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Yeah, that's true, but there's a lot of fears and some frustrations and some pressures that we feel as we move into the new job in a new location, and we really need the love and support and the encouragement and the approval of our mates during that time.\u00a0 And it's not that we're not caring, it's just sometimes we are so busy trying to keep our head above water in our new circumstance, that sometimes we take our eyes off of our mate and even sometimes we take our eyes off of our Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Susan, a move is stressful in different ways on both a husband and a wife, and those stresses can cause a couple to move toward isolation if they don't intentionally move toward one another and get out of their own stuff, their own issues, and really help one another with what's going on in each other's lives, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> That's right, that's right.\u00a0 So many times Bill and I would be living under the same roof but be miles apart.\u00a0 And, you know, the distance between us at the different seasons of our life when we moved, and the different stresses and pressures and teenagers and young kids and, you know, all of those things that attribute to another change in life, sometimes would be that brick in the wall, or as I tell many women, you know, we lived under the same roof, but we were miles apart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think the fact that we lose sight of what's important, we lose sight of, you know, \"Hey, jobs come and go, but we're here for each other, and we're going to stock together through thick and thin,\" and I think those are things sometimes, as women, we lose sight of.\u00a0 We get so tied up in our circumstances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, you know, I always tell young couples, \"I am not a victim of my circumstances in moving.\"\u00a0 There is victory \u2013 I claim victory in Jesus Christ, and our marriage is a platform today, through God's grace and mercy.\u00a0 And the fact that we were committed, and I think today people don't know what that word \"commitment\" means, but we are committed and, hey, I've been married 42 years and proud of it, and let me tell you something else.\u00a0 My heart still beats when I hear the garage door go up, and Bill drives in every day from work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a little twinkle in your eye when he said hello on the phone here just a minute ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, isn't that just great to hear?\u00a0 Thank you, honey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That makes your day.\u00a0 It brought a grin to my face, just to hear you be honest and I just appreciate you and Susan and your ministry there in Scottsdale.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Well, thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We appreciate you joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Thank you.\u00a0 Take good care of my wife and send her home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We'll do it.\u00a0 Thanks, Bill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bye-bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong> Bye-bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, he really was a good sport to allow us to interrupt his afternoon.\u00a0 He didn't have any warning, and I was impressed.\u00a0 He got two points in one phone call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can make a phone call and get negative points.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it may be that there is a husband listening who would like to get some points of his own and to do that all he needs to do is go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and get a copy of Susan's book, \"After the Boxes are Unpacked,\" and then when it shows up, say, \"You know, I knew that this move was hard for you.\u00a0 I thought this book might be helpful.\u00a0 Maybe we could read through it together, sweetheart.\"\u00a0 That's got to give you 2+ points, I would think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Again, the title of the book is \"After the Boxes are Unpacked.\"\u00a0 If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, there is more information about the book available there.\u00a0 Also information about the book that Susan wrote for children called \"But, Mom, I don't Want to Move,\" that's designed to help a parent help a child through the process of a move, especially if there have been relationships left behind or \u2013 it can be hard for kids to make a move.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, both of the resources can be found on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can order from us online, if you'd like.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we can have someone on our team make arrangements to have either or both of these books sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, there is a link to the FamilyLife Mom Blog, and on the Mom Blog this week, we have included some of the best moving tips we've received from some of our staff here at FamilyLife and other moms who have joined in.\u00a0 You may want to add some of your own moving ideas.\u00a0 So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link to the Mom Blog, and you can read through some of the suggestions that have come from FamilyLife staff and from other moms about moving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our goal here at FamilyLife is to provide you with practical biblical help for all kinds of issues that you face as you raise your children, as you seek to make your marriage all that God intends for it to be, and we are listener-supported, which means that FamilyLife Today depends on contributions from folks like you who tune in to listen to this program each day and who benefit from what you hear on the program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month we want to do something special for listeners who are able to help us with a donation to the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We'd like to send you a DVD.\u00a0 It actually includes two different movies.\u00a0 There is the movie that tells the story of Jesus, the most widely seen movie of all time.\u00a0 It's called \"The Jesus Movie,\" and then there is also the story of Jesus for children, which is a retelling of the story of the life of Jesus presented through the eyes of children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of these movies are on a single DVD, and we'd love to send it out to you in time for Easter this year so that you and your family could watch it together, especially if you have younger children.\u00a0 It's a great DVD to get because the story is told realistically, but it is not as violent as some other movies about Jesus have been.\u00a0 Again, we're making the DVD available this month as a thank you gift for anyone who supports the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're making the donation online, you just need to type the word \"JesusDVD\" into the keycode box without any space in between, just \"JesusDVD\" and that will let us know that you want the DVD sent to you.\u00a0 Or make your donation over the phone at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Just tell the person on our team who answers the phone that you'd like the Jesus DVD, and we'll make sure it gets sent to you.\u00a0 Again, thanks for your financial support of this ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow we're going to be back to talk more about how we deal with the stresses that come when we change addresses.\u00a0 Susan Miller will join us tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 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