{"id":301745,"date":"2009-01-14T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-14T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/teenage-rebellion-teenage-love\/"},"modified":"2009-01-14T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-14T17:00:00","slug":"teenage-rebellion-teenage-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teenage-rebellion-teenage-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Teenage Rebellion, Teenage Love"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At 18, Rob Kopf thought he knew what he wanted: 17-year-old Laurie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-01-14.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.23M","filesize_raw":"10724768","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2863],"tags":[4634,4515,5018],"podcast_series":[7627],"cwp_profile":[9152],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301745","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-saving-a-marriage","tag-grace","tag-rebellion","tag-redemption","podcast_series-love-renewed-rob-and-laurie-kopf","cwp_profile-rob-and-laurie-kopf","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301745\/teenage-rebellion-teenage-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301745\/teenage-rebellion-teenage-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"wHrpww9d9i\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teenage-rebellion-teenage-love\/\">Teenage Rebellion, Teenage Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teenage-rebellion-teenage-love\/embed\/#?secret=wHrpww9d9i\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Teenage Rebellion, Teenage Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"wHrpww9d9i\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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Laurie.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-01-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> I was 18.\u00a0 I had just graduated high school, I was 18.\u00a0 Laurie had just turned 17; she was going into her senior year in high school, and we got caught doing what we should not have done \u2013 and our parents said, \"You can't see each other anymore,\" and we just said, \"No, that's not an option,\" and they said it was, and they were going to do it, and we said no.\u00a0 I just took some clothes and put them in my car and drove away.\u00a0 I was 18, they couldn't stop me.\u00a0 Her and I had a secret rendezvous.\u00a0 I picked her up on the street corner, and we just drove.\u00a0 We drove for four days solid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, January 14th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When a marriage starts the way Rob and Laurie Kopf's marriage started, what are the odds it will go the distance?\u00a0 We'll a part of their story today.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 This is Day Number 10, by the way, of our 40-day Love Dare between now and Valentine's Day.\u00a0 We are taking the first part of each program to remind you of something specific you can do to help strengthen your marriage relationship.\u00a0 This is all taken from the book, \"The Love Dare,\" that was featured in the movie, \"Fireproof,\" which some of you saw in theaters when it was out last fall.\u00a0 It's going to be out on DVD here in the next couple of weeks and for Day 10 the theme is a reminder that love needs to be unconditional.\u00a0 Romans 5:8 says that God demonstrates His love toward us, and that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences, we talk about how the 50-50 marriage plan is destined to fail.\u00a0 In fact, somebody has said if your view of marriage is we'll meet halfway, you're probably a poor judge of distance.\u00a0 And so the idea that love needs to be unconditional; it needs to be us caring for our spouse no matter what the circumstances, and even when things aren't going well.\u00a0 So here is your assignment for today \u2013 do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse \u2013 something that demonstrates both to you and to them that your love is based on your choice and not on their performance.\u00a0 Wash her car, clean the kitchen, make his favorite dessert, do something special that demonstrates love to your spouse for the sheer joy of expressing love to your partner in marriage.\u00a0 That's today's assignment from the Love Dare, and if you'd like to get a copy of the book, \"The Love Dare,\" it's available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and you'll find the information available there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd speaking of the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference, this week is your last opportunity to take advantage of a special offer we're making for FamilyLife Today listeners.\u00a0 If you register to attend an upcoming conference as a couple, and if you register at the regular rate, we're going to send you, at no additional cost, a certificate that is good for a free registration for another couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo you can invite a friend to come with you to the conference, you can send the certificate across the country to somebody else in another city, and they can attend the conference of their choice.\u00a0 Whatever you would choose to do with the gift certificate, we'll send that to you at no additional cost when you register for one of our upcoming conferences and pay the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, all the information about the conferences is available on our website, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and you'll find a link there to all the conference information or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY \u2013 1-800-FLTODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have a couple of friend who are joining us on today's program \u2013 Rob and Laurie Kopf are here with us.\u00a0 Rob, Laurie, welcome to FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Thank you, it's good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Glad you all are here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The two of you first were introduced to Dennis, as I understand it, when you went to a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember conference in Dallas in 1986, and, Dennis, when you met Rob and Laurie, did you have any idea the drama that was taking place in their marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, not at all.\u00a0 In fact, it wasn't until years later when I met them again that I found out how God had not only used the conference in their lives but also just the wonderful work of grace and a story of the power of the Gospel in Rob and Laurie's life.\u00a0 Let's start at the beginning.\u00a0 Rob, why don't you tell us about where you grew up and how you met Laurie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> My parents are missionaries, just as a way of background \u2013 my parents are missionaries.\u00a0 I grew up in church the whole time in a pretty strict upbringing, and it's kind of hard to say.\u00a0 I mean, she wore \u2013 it may seem silly now, but she wore a jean jacket to church, and at that time, back in the late '60s, early '70s, that was pretty radical.\u00a0 That was like a hippie.\u00a0 I mean that, for some reason, that's just really \u2013 I thought, \"Boy, she's not going to do everything the way my parents wanted to do, and she's going to be the kind of girl that would just \u2013 I was starting to break out a little bit in my own life and starting to find out what I was all about, and I didn't think she would hold me back.\u00a0 I thought she would be part of that.\u00a0 I thought she would be a good partner in that breakout time, and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By \"breakout\" you mean you were rebelling?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Right, right, but my senior year, Laurie and I started going out my senior year, and I started to feel my oats, as they say.\u00a0 But it was just \u2013 there wasn't anything that she did.\u00a0 It wasn't like she was out in the street cussing or anything, it's just the way she acted, the way she looked, I could tell that she wasn't your typical church Sunday school girl, and I wanted to be \u2013 that's what I wanted for a girlfriend at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was it about Rob that attracted you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> The first time that I ever really remember even seeing him, my parents had Bible studies at our house.\u00a0 And our youth group was there, and he was across the room, and it was the first time, I think, we really noticed each other.\u00a0 And he came up to me at the end of the Bible study and asked me out, and I think, really, that was the first guy who ever asked me out, really.\u00a0 That was just the beginning.\u00a0 I mean, our story is so long we could be here for a week as far as the in and out and we were together and we weren't, and \u2013 but we dated for about a year and a half there, and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Off and on, a year and a half?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And at that point you were doing drugs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah, I was smoking pot mostly in high school.\u00a0 Later, after I graduated, I did other things, but I think what attracted us maybe when you really think about it, is, for some reason, both of us individually, in our families, felt unaccepted for who we were, and he made me feel special and made me feel like somebody loved me for who I was.\u00a0 And I think that's how I made him feel.\u00a0 I think I made him feel special; that he was great, and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> I think we were both what the other person was looking for right then, and the fact that we ran away \u2013 I mean \u2013 she was under age, and we ran away and just got in the car and drove and drove from Jersey to Las Vegas to try to get married, and couldn't get married there because she was underage, and then we went and lived in Colorado in a tent for a while, and then they finally caught us and brought us home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You did this in high school?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Yeah, it was just high school we did this.\u00a0 I was 18, I had just graduated high school, I was 18.\u00a0 Laurie had just turned 17.\u00a0 She was going into her senior year in high school, and we got caught doing what we should not have done, and our parents said, \"You can't see each other anymore,\" and we just said, \"No, that's not an option,\" and they said it was, and they were going to do it, and we said no.\u00a0 I just took my \u2013 I just took some clothes and put them in my car and drove away.\u00a0 I was 18.\u00a0 They couldn't stop me.\u00a0 Her and I had a secret rendezvous.\u00a0 I picked her up on the street corner, and we just drove.\u00a0 We drove for four days solid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> Isn't that terrible?\u00a0 I think about it now, and I don't even know how I could have done that to anyone, let alone the person who probably loves you the most in the world, so \u2013 they told us in Colorado, \"Just come home.\u00a0 There will be no restrictions.\u00a0 Just come home, and we'll talk and get this over with.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we came home, they'd thought a little bit more, and what they told us then was we were going to be \u2013 we could not see each other or speak to each other for six months \u2013 even in church.\u00a0 You weren't allowed to say hello to each other.\u00a0 And, at that time, I mean, he is like my lifeline.\u00a0 And I was very angry from that point on that \u2013 and now I realize that probably wasn't even enough for what I put them through, but it was too much at the time for me to handle, because I think I was just an emotional wreck.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> There was one more incident, though.\u00a0 We did come back, and they did let us go to church together on a Sunday night and instead of going to church that night we went bowling and didn't tell them we were going bowling, and I think what that showed them was that we were no more trustworthy when we came back than we were in the beginning, and that's when they told us we couldn't see each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> I don't even remember that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Yeah, but we were supposed to go to church that night together and instead we just took off, went bowling, and came back, and then they had asked some friends or something, but they knew we weren't there, and then the four parents got together and said, \"We can't trust these two.\u00a0 We need to keep them apart.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Both sets of parents got together and said you couldn't see each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did they really achieve that objective?\u00a0 I've got a question of whether that could be done given the starchiness of you two.\u00a0 I mean \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> I used to \u2013 Laurie lived, at the time \u2013 I think she lived 13 miles away in the next town over, and I would ride my bike over to see her.\u00a0 We would sneak visits through friends.\u00a0 I would tell my best friend who would tell her best friend when I'm going to be there, when to be outside taking the trash out, and I'd be in the bushes.\u00a0 I would just give her a letter, you know, a love letter or something and give her a big hug and a big kiss, and that would be for about a week, but they couldn't keep us apart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there is one thing that Laurie and I, as parents of four boys, we are committed to this is that if one of our sons wants to see somebody, it's going to be awful hard just to sit there and say \"No, you cannot.\"\u00a0 Because we know what it's like when we were told no.\u00a0 We were told \"No, you can't see each other,\" and even looking back now was probably for good reasons, but when you're 17, 18, and you really feel like you're in love, and your hormones are raging, and your parents say \"No,\" that's just the topper.\u00a0 That just means yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It probably had kind of a Romeo and Juliet effect.\u00a0 Now you felt like everybody is against us, and it even pushed you closer together, didn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> I think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> What you just said reminded us, flying back from Colorado on the plane after we got caught, and we came back, one of the songs that was on the headphones was \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> Helen Reddy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Helen Reddy \u2013 \"You and Me Against the World.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Helen Reddy sings \"You and Me Against the World.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> And that became our theme song.\u00a0 We came back, and that was our theme song to meet our parents.\u00a0 So this is the frame of mind we are in when we got back \u2013 it's you and I against the world, and everything that was said or done just made that more true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You went off to college at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> Well, Rob went off to college first, and so my senior year was kind of part of the year where we couldn't see each other, and even when we finally could see each other, he was only allowed to come over for five minutes, and then he had to leave, and that's kind of how we started to see each other again.\u00a0 But the next year I did go off to college.\u00a0 I can't exactly remember how, but I ended up going to this girl's school in Missouri.\u00a0 We lived in New Jersey, and he was in Pennsylvania.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I had never been there.\u00a0 I remember my parents dropping me off there.\u00a0 In the book \u2013 I didn't realize that what I thought were roads were sidewalks, I mean, it's really small, and I was so depressed there.\u00a0 I was suicidal, and my roommates basically kicked me out.\u00a0 I mean, they couldn't deal with me anymore.\u00a0 And that's when I started to visit a guy that I had known in high school, and Rob and I had broken up, and I started to see him, and at one point my mother called me on the phone, and I told her we were talking about getting married, and she said, \"Laurie, do not do that.\"\u00a0 And that's all she had to say, and it was very shortly after that we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it was, you know, the next big mistake of my life, because it was \u2013 the day I got married, I remember we got married outside with flowers in my hair.\u00a0 I really guess I was a late hippie, because I really wasn't in the earlier years where they were hippies, but I remember thinking that day \u2013 \"I don't really love him like I thought I loved Rob, but if it doesn't work, I'll just get a divorce,\" because it sounded so simple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it wasn't until later I found out that divorce is \u2013 it hurts so many people.\u00a0 It's not just you, it's your children, it's the grandparents.\u00a0 Three years, I think, we were really together, but it took, like, four.\u00a0 So before I actually got divorced, because it took 18 months of separation before you could be divorced.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So you got married while you were in college, lived with him for three years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Had a son, and then one day you just up and left this guy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Tell us about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> I was making a trip from Missouri, and I was going to go home for Thanksgiving to New Jersey, and I just packed never to return.\u00a0 And Calen [sp] was like 18 months old, and I know \u2013 I mean, I'm saying that \u2013 that's terrible now that I can hear it, and I know exactly what I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Rob, when you got the word that your old girlfriend was getting married in Columbia, she said you were broken up.\u00a0 Did that impact you at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> There were two times in my life that I sincerely wept, and that I just bawled like a baby, and that is the day I found out she got married, and the day that she \u2013 I found out she had a baby.\u00a0 As silly as it may sound, when I found out that she had a baby, I guess\u00a0 I confirmed my worst fears that, yes, they were having sex, and that was quite heart rending.\u00a0 But those are the two times that it just tore me up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the reason we broke up in college, it was funny, because, as she said, I went to Philly to school, and my freshman year she was still a senior in high school, and we did \u2013 we were allowed to see each other very controlled, very strictly, very short period of time.\u00a0 Well, the school I was going to in Philadelphia, I lived in a co-ed dorm where the floors were co-ed.\u00a0 It wasn't just a matter of the guys were even floors and the girls were odd floors, it was co-ed floors.\u00a0 And that was quite a shock from a guy who grew up with no sisters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So did you have some girlfriends at that point?\u00a0 Start going out with other ladies?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> I did when Laurie and I officially broke up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And when you heard she got married, what happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> When I heard that she got married, I was already starting to drink a little bit, and I decided to make it a full-time career, and I still remember the first time I ever went to a bar and bought a six-pack and then took it back to my apartment and drank it by myself.\u00a0 I remember sitting there thinking, you know, \"There are people out there that think this is a problem.\"\u00a0 Because before that, it was just, \"Well, I'll just start drinking when I'm with friends or I go to a bar or something,\" but that was the first time I actually went to the bar, bought my beer, and then took it back and just sat there by myself and got soused.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I found out when she had Calen, that was just total confirmation, and I just \u2013 I had about a four-year haze where I don't remember a whole lot.\u00a0 There was maybe enough days where I was sober, I mean, you can count on one hand, and that's four years, and I was just \u2013 and I quit school.\u00a0 I was a second-semester senior when I quit school, because I was able to get a job that paid so well that fed my drinking, and I always thought, \"Well, I'll go back and finish school later.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But how could you keep a job if you were getting drunk every day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Because \u2013 and Laurie will verify this \u2013 you can be drunk and still function.\u00a0 During the day I was never fall-down drunk.\u00a0 You could sit there and have a six-pack for breakfast and then go to work and then maybe have a couple of more beers for lunch or something.\u00a0 And I'd always have beer in the refrigerator in the morning.\u00a0 I always made sure I saved myself two or three beers for the morning for the ride to work, and I'd drink them, and then I'd \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you think all this drinking was because you loved Laurie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Yes, it was.\u00a0 It was I loved Laurie, and then I started to love drinking, and I started loving drinking enough to where women would tell me \u2013 I'd be going out with women, and they would say, \"Rob, it's either me or the beer,\" and I would tell them, \"Fine, get me a beer on the way out.\"\u00a0 I mean, there were women that were just dropping like flies because they saw that I had a problem.\u00a0 You know, from the time I was about 20 years old and when Laurie got married until about the time \u2013 about 24 or 25.\u00a0 But I was told by quite a few people that I had a drinking problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She moved back to the same city where you were living at that point.\u00a0 Who initiated that relationship at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> She moved back with some friends in New Jersey, and I had heard that she had moved back, and I was semi-engaged at the time, and we started seeing each other every weekend for about six months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, hold it, hold it, time out, what happened to the semi-engaged lady you were \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Gave her the boot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Just out of there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Just out of there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> After three years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> After three years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \"My old girlfriend is back\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Laurie is back and all is well with the world.\u00a0 That's what I felt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong>\u00a0 So we thought.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> So we thought, exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, let's hear the other side of this story.\u00a0 Laurie, when he called you, what were you thinking?\u00a0 Hope renewed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laurie:<\/strong> Yeah, I think so.\u00a0 I wanted to see him, and we met at my friend's house and talked to him for a while, and I think at that point in our lives, we both just believed that if we could just be together, we'd be happy.\u00a0 We would be totally happy if we could just be married and live happily ever after.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Two rebels, two egos, two people both running from God, hoping to be happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> Trying to find happiness in the world and not being able to do it and then thinking \u2013 convincing ourselves, fooling ourselves that, \"Well, if I just had Laurie, I would be happy,\" and her probably thinking the same thing.\u00a0 So, naturally, the natural progression would be, \"Well, if we just get together again, we'll be happy.\"\u00a0 She knew I had a drinking problem.\u00a0 She could do that I definitely had a problem, and I had known that she had smoked pot, but I was so unhappy \u2013 when I mentioned I had four years of a haze, that was four years of trying to find some kind of happiness in the bottom of a bottle.\u00a0 I was 25 years old.\u00a0 I convinced myself if I could have Laurie back I know I'll be happy.\u00a0 That's all I wanted was to have Laurie back in my life, and I was willing to do anything to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If I came to you and said, \"I've got these two friends.\u00a0 He's 25, he's been drinking for the last four years \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Pretty much drunk every day.\u00a0 She's a year younger.\u00a0 She's was married for three years, she's smoking dope every day \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And they're thinking about getting married.\u00a0 What would your best guess about the future of that relationship be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I've got a question for you, Bob.\u00a0 Have you ever heard of a long shot?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Like 1,000 to one?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The odds would not be good in this situation, and the reason is, is because both Rob and Laurie were betraying many biblical principles.\u00a0 It says in the Psalms, \"If I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.\"\u00a0 So here's Laurie walking around talking to the Lord hoping He'll answer her prayers, and yet she's holding onto her own agenda for her life, and here is Rob making a god of alcohol.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second biblical principle is just the partnership they had as a couple, and I know the passage over in 2 Corinthians, chapter 6, talks about a believer marrying an unbeliever or being bound with unbelievers, but when two Christians who are going their own way, who are not walking with God decide to connect, they're in for deep trouble, and you experienced that at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and it sounds, too, like the foundation of their relationship was not rock, it was shifting sand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, and then, third, they had no commitment.\u00a0 They had no covenant, they had no hope because they were alienated from God, from \u2013 probably at this point from their family as well \u2013 and had really cut themselves off from life.\u00a0 And so at that point, they were in need of blueprints for life, blueprints for making their relationship work, and blueprints for a young boy who was 18 months to 2 years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd without God, that is a hopeless situation.\u00a0 Life is a spiritual relationship, and without a connection to God, without a relationship with Him, without the hope of being tied into His love and His grace and forgiveness, there is no hope in that situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that is why when we get together with couples at the Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences, we make sure that we spend time reinforcing that very point, because we believe that the foundation for a healthy marriage is, first, a right relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and we really rejoice at those spiritual turnarounds that take place at the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we've been letting our listeners know last week and again this week, if you'd like to attend an upcoming conference when it comes to a city near where you live, and if you register before the end of this week, and you register at the regular registration fee, we will send you, at no additional cost, a companion certificate so that another couple can attend either with you or they can attend a different conference in another city at a later date if they want to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis companion certificate will allow another couple to attend at no additional cost. This is a very special offer that our team has put together, but the offer expires on Friday.\u00a0 So if you would like to attend a conference and make it possible for another couple you know to attend at no additional cost, go to our website right now, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can register online.\u00a0 If you have questions about the conference, those are answered for you online.\u00a0 Or, if it's easier, just call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 We can answer any questions you have and get you registered over the phone and, again, when you register this week to attend an upcoming conference, and you register at the regular registration rate, you will receive this week a companion certificate so that another couple can attend at no additional cost.\u00a0 Take advantage of that offer either online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou will also find on our website information about resources that are available from us here at FamilyLife designed to help strengthen your marriage, and I hope you'll take advantage of those resources, and I want to invite you to be back with us tomorrow when we're going to pick up with more of Rob and Laurie Kopf's story.\u00a0 In fact, we're going to hear about a number of challenges they faced in the early years of their marriage including Rob's drinking problem and Laurie's extramarital affair.\u00a0 We'll talk more about that tomorrow, and I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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