{"id":301732,"date":"2008-12-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/celebrating-the-real-beauty-of-forgiveness\/"},"modified":"2008-12-19T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-12-19T17:00:00","slug":"celebrating-the-real-beauty-of-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/celebrating-the-real-beauty-of-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"Celebrating the Real Beauty of Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The red Christmas feather became a symbol of God&#8217;s extravagant love and forgiveness when Tom placed a new red feather on the tree after his mother\u2019s death.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-12-19.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"14.5M","filesize_raw":"15207606","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2816],"tags":[4642],"podcast_series":[7622],"cwp_profile":[9070],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301732","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christmas","tag-christmas","podcast_series-the-red-feather","cwp_profile-tom-elliff","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301732\/celebrating-the-real-beauty-of-forgiveness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301732\/celebrating-the-real-beauty-of-forgiveness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"UwDLiTCcyR\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/celebrating-the-real-beauty-of-forgiveness\/\">Celebrating the Real Beauty of Forgiveness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/celebrating-the-real-beauty-of-forgiveness\/embed\/#?secret=UwDLiTCcyR\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Celebrating the Real Beauty of Forgiveness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"UwDLiTCcyR\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-12-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-12-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> From the time Tom Elliff was a little boy, his family had always placed a special decoration on the family Christmas tree \u2013 a red feather that held special significance for their family.\u00a0 But when Tom's father left his mother after 40 years of marriage, the red feather now seemed to symbolize something different \u2013a painful memory of a family that had broken in two.\u00a0 It was a few years later when a friend who knew the story of the red feather, gave one to Tom and encouraged him to start his own family tradition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> I took the feather and put it in the tree, and when the kids came down, I said, \"Kids, I want to tell you something.\u00a0 There is something different about this tree this year, and I want you to find what it is, and it wasn't very long before they had found the red feather, and I told the story once again of my mother's unselfishness, her expression of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, December 19th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll hear today from Tom Elliff how the red feather brought forgiveness and healing and reconciliation in the Elliff family.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 You know, I think many families look forward to the holiday season with some anticipation and some sense of joy, and it's busy.\u00a0 There's a lot to do.\u00a0 But you're looking forward to being together as a family and to the memories.\u00a0 But there have to be a lot of families who head toward this season with a sense of dread because of what it conjures up from the past or because of the losses, over the years, whether it's somebody who has just lost a family member in the previous year, and they're facing their first Christmas in many years without Mom or Dad or a relative; whether it's a family that has fallen apart during the year; or even if it happened five, 10 years ago, Christmas can be a time that is bittersweet for a lot of families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And as we do head home, Bob, Christmas together with our extended family can represent a lot of relationships that need some repair work because we've been hurt, we've been disappointed maybe repeatedly or maybe profoundly.\u00a0 And there is bitterness, and as we've been listening all this week to a story by Tom Elliff, there is something we can do about that bitterness and, Tom, I want to thank you for being on the broadcast and being so transparent about what took place in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were a PK, a preacher's kid, grew up in a Christian home, and you and your two brothers and sister enjoyed the benefits of a church family surrounding you as you grew up and everything, and we heard earlier how your mom got a gift in 1946 of a beautiful green hat that had a delightful red feather that she plucked out and put it at the top of the Christmas tree, and that became a symbol of an extravagant gift in 1946 to your family.\u00a0 And you celebrated using that red feather in subsequent years even to the time when your father ended up leaving your mother, and you were tempted to no longer pull the red feather out of the box and put it on top of the tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you'd been a missionary overseas, and you'd come back home, and you had found your mom to now be suffering from a disease.\u00a0 Share with us how that came about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Well, when we came back from Africa to \u2013 primarily to get help for our daughter, you know, that had been burned during this tragic car accident, we discovered that my mother was suffering a disease, which, at that time was just \u2013 we were just becoming familiar with it \u2013 Alzheimer's.\u00a0 We hear the word all the time now, but we didn't back in the early '80s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she had actually come to visit us in Denver, Colorado, where I was pastoring at the time, and I noticed, you know, some aberrant behavior.\u00a0 My wife, in fact, came to me and said, \"I'm very concerned about your mother.\"\u00a0 We took her to a doctor, and he said, \"I am so sorry to tell you this, but she has Alzheimer's.\"\u00a0 He said, \"We don't know a lot about this, but it's really raging within her.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe had actually driven the airport, bought her ticket, come to Denver, and by the time her visit with us was over, she was unable to drive.\u00a0 We got her back home \u2013 my brother and sister made sure, at that time, that she had everything she needed in the home, they were constantly there trying to help her, but she was obviously going down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it was Christmas of that year that I determined that I was going to come back and help her put up the tree and put the red feather in the tree, because it was still a reminder of God's extravagant love and such a family tradition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And she was incapable at that point of putting the red feather on the Christmas tree?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> She was rational on occasions and irrational on other occasions.\u00a0 It would have been impossible for her to have gotten up into the attic and brought down the decorations, and so I just determined.\u00a0 I was going to fly to Oklahoma City, climb up in that attic, which I did, found that old grapefruit box, and dusted it off, brought it down, and I was going \u2013 we were going to decorate that tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you, that out in the garage, when I took the lid off the grapefruit box and saw the red feather, it was broken in half just like my parents' marriage.\u00a0 I began weeping.\u00a0 I'm not that kind of a guy.\u00a0 I think the older I get, the more like that I become, but at that point I was just weeping, and I don't know how long I spent out in the garage.\u00a0 I know I got some tape and repaired the feather, put it back in the box and, finally, when I thought I had control of myself, I went back into the house, and my mother was there, and she looked over at me, and she said, \"You found the decorations?\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Yeah, I've even got the red feather,\" and I just started crying again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that moment, my mother stood up \u2013 now here is a lady who sometimes would be rational, but with Alzheimer's, you know how that goes \u2013 sometimes she just didn't know where she was or how to put her thoughts together \u2013 my mother stood up, walked across the room, put her arms around me and, Dennis and Bob, she began praying, and I've told people before, I think she prayed for close to half an hour \u2013 maybe it wasn't that long.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe prayed the most beautiful prayer \u2013 it was a doxology, a praise to God.\u00a0 She thanked God for her family, she prayed for her children, for her grandchildren, she didn't miss a name and, yes, she even prayed for the husband who had left her and was now married to someone else and living in another state.\u00a0 She thanked God for the 43 years of marriage she had with him and the fruit of that marriage, and then she said, \"Now let's decorate the tree.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of a sudden, this lady I had come to comfort was comforting me.\u00a0 And we decorated that tree, and I put the red feather \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The broken red feather?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Well, not broken \u2013 well, it was broken but repaired \u2013 red feather there in the tree, and I looked over at my mother, and she had this smile on her face, and it was as if she was saying, just as she had in 1946, \"That's just what the tree needs.\" And, of course, that's just what the world needs to experience God's extravagant forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you think, at the time, that your relationship with your dad was over for life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Well, Bob, he had refused to see me.\u00a0 I had made an attempt earlier on to talk with him when I'd come back from Africa, and he had refused to see me.\u00a0 Later on, I did fly to the town where he was living and met him at the airport, and we drove \u2013 you know, we met and talked but for all practical purposes I assumed that my father would no longer be a factor in my family's life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had had very little contact with us, even when our daughter was in the hospital in Africa.\u00a0 My father, who usually was such a loving, caring person, was so aloof from us at that moment, and I just assumed, \"All right, we're going to have to be whatever kind of family we can be without my dad,\" and my kids needed their granddad.\u00a0 You know, they \u2013 our family needed a father, but we just assumed that's a relationship that is on pause.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn Christmas Eve, at our church's candlelight and carol service, it was just an idyllic setting in Colorado \u2013 the snow was perfect, it was like you \u2013 just a postcard kind of a Christmas.\u00a0 And at that Christmas, for some reason known only to God, in an attempt to get across what it was that God was doing when He sent His Son, I told the story of the red feather \u2013 how my mother, in that moment, just ravaged that hat in that extravagant act of love just so that her kids could have a decoration on the tree and how it had been in the tree every year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we went home that evening and got the kids to bed, you know, and my heart was just so full.\u00a0 In fact, I thought over and over again, you know, I wonder where my dad is?\u00a0 What is he doing?\u00a0 I had an idea where he lived, but, you know, how could he go through the holiday without his family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How many holidays now had he missed?\u00a0 This would have been the second \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> This would have been the third one, actually, the third holiday that he had missed.\u00a0 And I just thought, you know, \"We need him, and I think he needs us.\"\u00a0 Well, early the next morning, Christmas Day, I got up to light the fire before my family came down for Christmas, you know, and I was sitting in front of the fireplace just looking at the tree and thinking about my family, I heard a knock at the door.\u00a0 Just a slight knock, and I thought, \"Who could that be at this hour?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went to the door, opened it up, and it was, again, the perfect Christmas.\u00a0 The clouds had gone, the sky was just filled with stars, heavy snow on the ground, but I noticed some footprints coming across from the road to my house and then back to the road.\u00a0 And I thought, \"Well, I wonder who that could have been that was knocking at my door?\"\u00a0 I couldn't see anybody.\u00a0 I turned around, and I noticed there was a box on the porch.\u00a0 I thought, \"I wonder what that is,\" but when I picked it up, it was empty, it had nothing in it.\u00a0 I thought maybe it had just blown across the yard, you know, from our neighbor's house, perhaps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I took the box inside, and I noticed it was taped shut.\u00a0 I began to tear the tape apart, and when I opened it, I thought, \"Yeah, it's empty.\"\u00a0 Then I noticed something right down in the corner of the box.\u00a0 There was a red feather.\u00a0 And I thought to myself, \"What in the world is this?\"\u00a0 And there was a note from my friend, and he said to me, \"Tom, you know, maybe it's time that you and your family had their own red feather, your own symbol of God's love, your own symbol of what it means to love and to forgive.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there was the feather.\u00a0 I took the feather and put it in the tree, and when the kids came down, I said, \"Kids, I want to tell you something.\u00a0 There is something different about this tree this year, and I want you to find what it is, and it wasn't very long before they had found the red feather, and I told the story once again of my mother's unselfishness, her expression of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But it was in the context of her homegoing that your dad reappeared, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Yes.\u00a0 Bob, I was on a mission trip in Africa in the late summer of 1985.\u00a0 When I returned, I received a call from my brother, Bill, who said, \"Tom, Mom's in the hospital.\u00a0 She's had a massive brain hemorrhage, and she's just about to die.\"\u00a0 I flew to Oklahoma City where they were living, down to the hospital in Norman, Oklahoma.\u00a0 I stood at her bedside.\u00a0 The doctor, in fact, said \"She may live for hours, but I doubt it.\u00a0 Maybe a day or two, but I doubt that she's going to live that long.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, you know, something \u2013 it's nothing physical but, for some reason, my mother just dug in.\u00a0 Now, she was lying there comatose, never moved a muscle, but she didn't die that die \u2013 not in a few hours, not in a day, not in a second day or a third or a fourth.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, a week passed, a second week passed, and a third week passed, and I can tell you that we had some pretty intense meetings with the Lord as we sat with her individually through the night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd at the end of the third week, when all four children were in the room, my mother stirred briefly.\u00a0 I mean, this is a big surprise to us, and she said this word three times, she said, \"Want, want, want.\"\u00a0 And we said, \"Mother, what do you want?\"\u00a0 I mean, we were elated.\u00a0 She had revived, you know, \"Do you want your pillow fluffed?\u00a0 Do you want crushed ice?\u00a0 Do you want\" \u2013 and no response.\u00a0 She didn't respond at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then someone started calling people's names, and someone in the room, I forget who, said \"Dad?\"\u00a0 And she said this word, which she repeated three times that day \u2013 \"Forgive, forgive, forgive.\"\u00a0 And we said, \"Mother, we know you've forgiven him, and we've told him that we've forgiven him.\"\u00a0 And she just lapsed back into a coma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next morning, the phone rang, and all four of us again were in the room with her, and the phone rang.\u00a0 We were startled, actually.\u00a0 And it was my father.\u00a0 The first time all of us together had heard from him in two and a half years, you know.\u00a0 I had gone to see him but at no time had we all been together with him.\u00a0 And he said, \"Tom\" \u2013 and you know how sometimes men who leave their wives, they use a \u2013 they develop a funny language.\u00a0 He said, \"I hear your mother is ill.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Well, Dad, Mom is terribly ill.\"\u00a0 I said, \"She's going to die.\"\u00a0 I said, \"She's got a massive brain hemorrhage.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \"Well, could I speak to her?\"\u00a0 I can't imagine what courage it took for him to do this.\u00a0 He said, \"Could I speak to her?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, Dad, she's in a coma, but I'm going to put this phone up to her ear.\"\u00a0 You talk about the awesome power of reconciliation, you know, she began to weep, tears began to flow down her cheeks as she was just lying there in the bed.\u00a0 She opened her eyes, and she just said, \"Of course, I forgive you.\u00a0 Isn't Jesus wonderful?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is from three weeks of a coma?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Three weeks in a coma, and six months of not having a rational thought.\u00a0 \"Of course,\" she said, \"I forgive you.\u00a0 Isn't Jesus wonderful?\u00a0 I've got to lead more people to Christ,\" and I'll tell you, and my brothers and my sister will tell that for 24 hours she was as clear as a bell in her conversations.\u00a0 We just talked just as we are talking right here.\u00a0 And then she lapsed into a coma again, and week number 4 passed, and then week number 5 passed, and now my dad is calling frequently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one day he said, \"I don't know, what do you think, Tom?\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Dad, I think she may be waiting for you.\"\u00a0 And the next morning, with all four children in the room, my father opened the door, stepped into the room \u2013 the first time we had been together as a family in two and a half years.\u00a0 We wept, we cried, we prayed, we even sang \u2013 now, that's unusual.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad asked us to leave.\u00a0 He stayed in the room with her.\u00a0 She was not conscious.\u00a0 He stayed \u2013 we could hear him weeping.\u00a0 I thought of that poem by Edwin Markham that says \"He drew a circle that shut me out, heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.\u00a0 But love and I had the wit to win, we drew a circle that shut him in.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd my mother had just laid there in a hospital bed in a coma and hooked my father with forgiveness.\u00a0 She died not long after that.\u00a0 We buried her not far from that little town of Lake Village down in a country cemetery near Warren, Arkansas.\u00a0 On her tombstone were the words, which \u2013 of a song, which mean so much to her \u2013 \"Jesus is all the world to me.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Tom, I \u2013 in listening to your story, just appreciate you allowing us to enter into your family and hearing a great story of great failure but great repentance and great reconciliation, and I want to thank you for being so transparent here and sharing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I want to turn to the listening audience right now and to two people \u2013 there is a person who is in need of repenting, like your father, and there is another person who is in need of forgiving.\u00a0 And regardless of which one of those two you are, if you know you need to do something as a result of what you've just heard, do it now.\u00a0 Don't allow days, weeks, months to pass, life's too short.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Dennis, when you refuse to forgive someone, you have literally made a dungeon for that person in your heart.\u00a0 We are meant to be the temple of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 We're bought with a price, we're not our own.\u00a0 But you've imprisoned that person down deep in your heart, and you can't do that without it damaging you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus told a wonderful parable about a servant who was forgiven and enormous debt.\u00a0 It's a picture of the way we can be forgiven by God for our sin.\u00a0 And yet that servant went out and found a friend who owed him pocket change.\u00a0 He threatened him with his life.\u00a0 He said, \"Pay me what you owe!\"\u00a0 When the king found out about it, he imprisoned the servant, he turned him over to the tormenters, and a man or a woman who is listening who will not forgive, do you know who the victim is?\u00a0 It's the unforgiving person, it's the unforgiving person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And if that person claims the name of Christ and refuses to forgive, they really need to examine their own heart and ask, \"Do I really know the One who has forgiven me,\" don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Sure, sure.\u00a0 If you don't have the capacity to forgive, you ought to ask, \"Have I experienced God's forgiveness?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right, and so there may be a third person who is listening \u2013 not someone who needs to go and ask for forgiveness, and not someone who needs to forgive, but there may be one who needs to turn to his heavenly Father and say, \"Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner, forgive me, cleanse me, wash me and make me new.\"\u00a0 And, you know what?\u00a0 God needs us at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we'll turn from ourselves and our sin and our disobedience, God is ready to forgive even the most evil person who is hearing these words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, and there is no better time than today as we prepare for the celebration of the birth of the One who offers forgiveness and transformation and hope.\u00a0 There is no better time for folks to respond to God's offer of forgiveness by saying, \"I want to turn my life over to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 I want Him to be my Lord, my Master, my Savior.\u00a0 I want to follow Him and obey Him.\u00a0 I want to be forgiven and transformed.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a book that we would love to send to anyone who senses today that God may be tugging on their heart; senses that it is time to do business with God and to trust Christ and to respond to the invitation of the Gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can call us at 1-800-FLTODAY, and if you would call and say, \"I'd like to become a Christian,\" then someone on our team will be happy to send you a copy of the book, \"Pursuing God.\"\u00a0 That helps you understand what it means to be a follower of Christ.\u00a0 Again, the number of 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Just call and say, \"I want to give my life to Christ. I want to follow Jesus,\" and we're happy to send a copy of the book, \"Pursuing God\" out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, that book is written by Tom Elliff's brother Jim, and it's what we send to folks all the time who contact us and say that they are interested in becoming a Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have copies of Tom Elliff's book, which is called \"The Red Feather,\" that tells the story that we've been listening to this week, and you can get a copy of that book by going to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can order the book from us online, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and say \"I'm interested in the book, \"The Red Feather\" by Tom Elliff, and we'll make arrangements to send it out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur toll-free number again \u2013 1-800-FLTODAY or, if it's easier, just order online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI very quickly want to thank those folks who have gotten in touch with us this week and have made a donation to the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We are dependent on those donations in order to continue the ministry of FamilyLife Today on this station and on other stations all across the country.\u00a0 And in recent days we have had to do what a lot of ministries have had to do this year \u2013 stop and consider \u2013 can we continue this ministry on these particular stations, or can we continue in this particular outreach of FamilyLife?\u00a0 And we've had to make some cuts, frankly, because of the current economic situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know that's true for a lot of families as well, and so when you have called and said we want to support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, we want to make a donation online or over the phone, that has been especially meaningful to us this year.\u00a0 And those donations are being matched on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $425,000 this Christmas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you are able to help with a donation if you've not already contacted us, we would love to hear from you no matter what the donation is, whether it's $5 or $25 or $50 or $100 or $500 or $5,000 \u2013 it doesn't matter.\u00a0 What matters is that you express your support for the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and we do look forward to hearing from you, and I want to say thanks in advance for your generosity.\u00a0 We appreciate your support during these challenging times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday, when we are going to listen back to what we think of as one of our favorite interviews of the year, in fact, one of our favorite all-time interviews.\u00a0 We're going to hear from John and Donna Bishop on Monday and hear a powerful story of sacrificial, covenantal love.\u00a0 I hope you can b here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have a great weekend, we'll see you Monday for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["14.5M"],"filesize_raw":["15207606"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301732.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301732.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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red Christmas feather became a symbol of God's extravagant love and forgiveness when Tom placed a new red feather on the tree after his mother\u2019s death.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-12-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> From the time Tom Elliff was a little boy, his family had always placed a special decoration on the family Christmas tree \u2013 a red feather that held special significance for their family.\u00a0 But when Tom's father left his mother after 40 years of marriage, the red feather now seemed to symbolize something different \u2013a painful memory of a family that had broken in two.\u00a0 It was a few years later when a friend who knew the story of the red feather, gave one to Tom and encouraged him to start his own family tradition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> I took the feather and put it in the tree, and when the kids came down, I said, \"Kids, I want to tell you something.\u00a0 There is something different about this tree this year, and I want you to find what it is, and it wasn't very long before they had found the red feather, and I told the story once again of my mother's unselfishness, her expression of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, December 19th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll hear today from Tom Elliff how the red feather brought forgiveness and healing and reconciliation in the Elliff family.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 You know, I think many families look forward to the holiday season with some anticipation and some sense of joy, and it's busy.\u00a0 There's a lot to do.\u00a0 But you're looking forward to being together as a family and to the memories.\u00a0 But there have to be a lot of families who head toward this season with a sense of dread because of what it conjures up from the past or because of the losses, over the years, whether it's somebody who has just lost a family member in the previous year, and they're facing their first Christmas in many years without Mom or Dad or a relative; whether it's a family that has fallen apart during the year; or even if it happened five, 10 years ago, Christmas can be a time that is bittersweet for a lot of families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And as we do head home, Bob, Christmas together with our extended family can represent a lot of relationships that need some repair work because we've been hurt, we've been disappointed maybe repeatedly or maybe profoundly.\u00a0 And there is bitterness, and as we've been listening all this week to a story by Tom Elliff, there is something we can do about that bitterness and, Tom, I want to thank you for being on the broadcast and being so transparent about what took place in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were a PK, a preacher's kid, grew up in a Christian home, and you and your two brothers and sister enjoyed the benefits of a church family surrounding you as you grew up and everything, and we heard earlier how your mom got a gift in 1946 of a beautiful green hat that had a delightful red feather that she plucked out and put it at the top of the Christmas tree, and that became a symbol of an extravagant gift in 1946 to your family.\u00a0 And you celebrated using that red feather in subsequent years even to the time when your father ended up leaving your mother, and you were tempted to no longer pull the red feather out of the box and put it on top of the tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you'd been a missionary overseas, and you'd come back home, and you had found your mom to now be suffering from a disease.\u00a0 Share with us how that came about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Well, when we came back from Africa to \u2013 primarily to get help for our daughter, you know, that had been burned during this tragic car accident, we discovered that my mother was suffering a disease, which, at that time was just \u2013 we were just becoming familiar with it \u2013 Alzheimer's.\u00a0 We hear the word all the time now, but we didn't back in the early '80s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she had actually come to visit us in Denver, Colorado, where I was pastoring at the time, and I noticed, you know, some aberrant behavior.\u00a0 My wife, in fact, came to me and said, \"I'm very concerned about your mother.\"\u00a0 We took her to a doctor, and he said, \"I am so sorry to tell you this, but she has Alzheimer's.\"\u00a0 He said, \"We don't know a lot about this, but it's really raging within her.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe had actually driven the airport, bought her ticket, come to Denver, and by the time her visit with us was over, she was unable to drive.\u00a0 We got her back home \u2013 my brother and sister made sure, at that time, that she had everything she needed in the home, they were constantly there trying to help her, but she was obviously going down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it was Christmas of that year that I determined that I was going to come back and help her put up the tree and put the red feather in the tree, because it was still a reminder of God's extravagant love and such a family tradition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And she was incapable at that point of putting the red feather on the Christmas tree?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> She was rational on occasions and irrational on other occasions.\u00a0 It would have been impossible for her to have gotten up into the attic and brought down the decorations, and so I just determined.\u00a0 I was going to fly to Oklahoma City, climb up in that attic, which I did, found that old grapefruit box, and dusted it off, brought it down, and I was going \u2013 we were going to decorate that tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you, that out in the garage, when I took the lid off the grapefruit box and saw the red feather, it was broken in half just like my parents' marriage.\u00a0 I began weeping.\u00a0 I'm not that kind of a guy.\u00a0 I think the older I get, the more like that I become, but at that point I was just weeping, and I don't know how long I spent out in the garage.\u00a0 I know I got some tape and repaired the feather, put it back in the box and, finally, when I thought I had control of myself, I went back into the house, and my mother was there, and she looked over at me, and she said, \"You found the decorations?\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Yeah, I've even got the red feather,\" and I just started crying again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that moment, my mother stood up \u2013 now here is a lady who sometimes would be rational, but with Alzheimer's, you know how that goes \u2013 sometimes she just didn't know where she was or how to put her thoughts together \u2013 my mother stood up, walked across the room, put her arms around me and, Dennis and Bob, she began praying, and I've told people before, I think she prayed for close to half an hour \u2013 maybe it wasn't that long.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe prayed the most beautiful prayer \u2013 it was a doxology, a praise to God.\u00a0 She thanked God for her family, she prayed for her children, for her grandchildren, she didn't miss a name and, yes, she even prayed for the husband who had left her and was now married to someone else and living in another state.\u00a0 She thanked God for the 43 years of marriage she had with him and the fruit of that marriage, and then she said, \"Now let's decorate the tree.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of a sudden, this lady I had come to comfort was comforting me.\u00a0 And we decorated that tree, and I put the red feather \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The broken red feather?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Well, not broken \u2013 well, it was broken but repaired \u2013 red feather there in the tree, and I looked over at my mother, and she had this smile on her face, and it was as if she was saying, just as she had in 1946, \"That's just what the tree needs.\" And, of course, that's just what the world needs to experience God's extravagant forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you think, at the time, that your relationship with your dad was over for life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Well, Bob, he had refused to see me.\u00a0 I had made an attempt earlier on to talk with him when I'd come back from Africa, and he had refused to see me.\u00a0 Later on, I did fly to the town where he was living and met him at the airport, and we drove \u2013 you know, we met and talked but for all practical purposes I assumed that my father would no longer be a factor in my family's life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had had very little contact with us, even when our daughter was in the hospital in Africa.\u00a0 My father, who usually was such a loving, caring person, was so aloof from us at that moment, and I just assumed, \"All right, we're going to have to be whatever kind of family we can be without my dad,\" and my kids needed their granddad.\u00a0 You know, they \u2013 our family needed a father, but we just assumed that's a relationship that is on pause.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn Christmas Eve, at our church's candlelight and carol service, it was just an idyllic setting in Colorado \u2013 the snow was perfect, it was like you \u2013 just a postcard kind of a Christmas.\u00a0 And at that Christmas, for some reason known only to God, in an attempt to get across what it was that God was doing when He sent His Son, I told the story of the red feather \u2013 how my mother, in that moment, just ravaged that hat in that extravagant act of love just so that her kids could have a decoration on the tree and how it had been in the tree every year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we went home that evening and got the kids to bed, you know, and my heart was just so full.\u00a0 In fact, I thought over and over again, you know, I wonder where my dad is?\u00a0 What is he doing?\u00a0 I had an idea where he lived, but, you know, how could he go through the holiday without his family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How many holidays now had he missed?\u00a0 This would have been the second \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> This would have been the third one, actually, the third holiday that he had missed.\u00a0 And I just thought, you know, \"We need him, and I think he needs us.\"\u00a0 Well, early the next morning, Christmas Day, I got up to light the fire before my family came down for Christmas, you know, and I was sitting in front of the fireplace just looking at the tree and thinking about my family, I heard a knock at the door.\u00a0 Just a slight knock, and I thought, \"Who could that be at this hour?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went to the door, opened it up, and it was, again, the perfect Christmas.\u00a0 The clouds had gone, the sky was just filled with stars, heavy snow on the ground, but I noticed some footprints coming across from the road to my house and then back to the road.\u00a0 And I thought, \"Well, I wonder who that could have been that was knocking at my door?\"\u00a0 I couldn't see anybody.\u00a0 I turned around, and I noticed there was a box on the porch.\u00a0 I thought, \"I wonder what that is,\" but when I picked it up, it was empty, it had nothing in it.\u00a0 I thought maybe it had just blown across the yard, you know, from our neighbor's house, perhaps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I took the box inside, and I noticed it was taped shut.\u00a0 I began to tear the tape apart, and when I opened it, I thought, \"Yeah, it's empty.\"\u00a0 Then I noticed something right down in the corner of the box.\u00a0 There was a red feather.\u00a0 And I thought to myself, \"What in the world is this?\"\u00a0 And there was a note from my friend, and he said to me, \"Tom, you know, maybe it's time that you and your family had their own red feather, your own symbol of God's love, your own symbol of what it means to love and to forgive.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there was the feather.\u00a0 I took the feather and put it in the tree, and when the kids came down, I said, \"Kids, I want to tell you something.\u00a0 There is something different about this tree this year, and I want you to find what it is, and it wasn't very long before they had found the red feather, and I told the story once again of my mother's unselfishness, her expression of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But it was in the context of her homegoing that your dad reappeared, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Yes.\u00a0 Bob, I was on a mission trip in Africa in the late summer of 1985.\u00a0 When I returned, I received a call from my brother, Bill, who said, \"Tom, Mom's in the hospital.\u00a0 She's had a massive brain hemorrhage, and she's just about to die.\"\u00a0 I flew to Oklahoma City where they were living, down to the hospital in Norman, Oklahoma.\u00a0 I stood at her bedside.\u00a0 The doctor, in fact, said \"She may live for hours, but I doubt it.\u00a0 Maybe a day or two, but I doubt that she's going to live that long.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, you know, something \u2013 it's nothing physical but, for some reason, my mother just dug in.\u00a0 Now, she was lying there comatose, never moved a muscle, but she didn't die that die \u2013 not in a few hours, not in a day, not in a second day or a third or a fourth.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, a week passed, a second week passed, and a third week passed, and I can tell you that we had some pretty intense meetings with the Lord as we sat with her individually through the night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd at the end of the third week, when all four children were in the room, my mother stirred briefly.\u00a0 I mean, this is a big surprise to us, and she said this word three times, she said, \"Want, want, want.\"\u00a0 And we said, \"Mother, what do you want?\"\u00a0 I mean, we were elated.\u00a0 She had revived, you know, \"Do you want your pillow fluffed?\u00a0 Do you want crushed ice?\u00a0 Do you want\" \u2013 and no response.\u00a0 She didn't respond at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then someone started calling people's names, and someone in the room, I forget who, said \"Dad?\"\u00a0 And she said this word, which she repeated three times that day \u2013 \"Forgive, forgive, forgive.\"\u00a0 And we said, \"Mother, we know you've forgiven him, and we've told him that we've forgiven him.\"\u00a0 And she just lapsed back into a coma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next morning, the phone rang, and all four of us again were in the room with her, and the phone rang.\u00a0 We were startled, actually.\u00a0 And it was my father.\u00a0 The first time all of us together had heard from him in two and a half years, you know.\u00a0 I had gone to see him but at no time had we all been together with him.\u00a0 And he said, \"Tom\" \u2013 and you know how sometimes men who leave their wives, they use a \u2013 they develop a funny language.\u00a0 He said, \"I hear your mother is ill.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Well, Dad, Mom is terribly ill.\"\u00a0 I said, \"She's going to die.\"\u00a0 I said, \"She's got a massive brain hemorrhage.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \"Well, could I speak to her?\"\u00a0 I can't imagine what courage it took for him to do this.\u00a0 He said, \"Could I speak to her?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, Dad, she's in a coma, but I'm going to put this phone up to her ear.\"\u00a0 You talk about the awesome power of reconciliation, you know, she began to weep, tears began to flow down her cheeks as she was just lying there in the bed.\u00a0 She opened her eyes, and she just said, \"Of course, I forgive you.\u00a0 Isn't Jesus wonderful?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is from three weeks of a coma?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Three weeks in a coma, and six months of not having a rational thought.\u00a0 \"Of course,\" she said, \"I forgive you.\u00a0 Isn't Jesus wonderful?\u00a0 I've got to lead more people to Christ,\" and I'll tell you, and my brothers and my sister will tell that for 24 hours she was as clear as a bell in her conversations.\u00a0 We just talked just as we are talking right here.\u00a0 And then she lapsed into a coma again, and week number 4 passed, and then week number 5 passed, and now my dad is calling frequently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one day he said, \"I don't know, what do you think, Tom?\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Dad, I think she may be waiting for you.\"\u00a0 And the next morning, with all four children in the room, my father opened the door, stepped into the room \u2013 the first time we had been together as a family in two and a half years.\u00a0 We wept, we cried, we prayed, we even sang \u2013 now, that's unusual.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad asked us to leave.\u00a0 He stayed in the room with her.\u00a0 She was not conscious.\u00a0 He stayed \u2013 we could hear him weeping.\u00a0 I thought of that poem by Edwin Markham that says \"He drew a circle that shut me out, heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.\u00a0 But love and I had the wit to win, we drew a circle that shut him in.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd my mother had just laid there in a hospital bed in a coma and hooked my father with forgiveness.\u00a0 She died not long after that.\u00a0 We buried her not far from that little town of Lake Village down in a country cemetery near Warren, Arkansas.\u00a0 On her tombstone were the words, which \u2013 of a song, which mean so much to her \u2013 \"Jesus is all the world to me.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Tom, I \u2013 in listening to your story, just appreciate you allowing us to enter into your family and hearing a great story of great failure but great repentance and great reconciliation, and I want to thank you for being so transparent here and sharing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I want to turn to the listening audience right now and to two people \u2013 there is a person who is in need of repenting, like your father, and there is another person who is in need of forgiving.\u00a0 And regardless of which one of those two you are, if you know you need to do something as a result of what you've just heard, do it now.\u00a0 Don't allow days, weeks, months to pass, life's too short.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Dennis, when you refuse to forgive someone, you have literally made a dungeon for that person in your heart.\u00a0 We are meant to be the temple of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 We're bought with a price, we're not our own.\u00a0 But you've imprisoned that person down deep in your heart, and you can't do that without it damaging you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus told a wonderful parable about a servant who was forgiven and enormous debt.\u00a0 It's a picture of the way we can be forgiven by God for our sin.\u00a0 And yet that servant went out and found a friend who owed him pocket change.\u00a0 He threatened him with his life.\u00a0 He said, \"Pay me what you owe!\"\u00a0 When the king found out about it, he imprisoned the servant, he turned him over to the tormenters, and a man or a woman who is listening who will not forgive, do you know who the victim is?\u00a0 It's the unforgiving person, it's the unforgiving person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And if that person claims the name of Christ and refuses to forgive, they really need to examine their own heart and ask, \"Do I really know the One who has forgiven me,\" don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong> Sure, sure.\u00a0 If you don't have the capacity to forgive, you ought to ask, \"Have I experienced God's forgiveness?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right, and so there may be a third person who is listening \u2013 not someone who needs to go and ask for forgiveness, and not someone who needs to forgive, but there may be one who needs to turn to his heavenly Father and say, \"Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner, forgive me, cleanse me, wash me and make me new.\"\u00a0 And, you know what?\u00a0 God needs us at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we'll turn from ourselves and our sin and our disobedience, God is ready to forgive even the most evil person who is hearing these words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, and there is no better time than today as we prepare for the celebration of the birth of the One who offers forgiveness and transformation and hope.\u00a0 There is no better time for folks to respond to God's offer of forgiveness by saying, \"I want to turn my life over to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 I want Him to be my Lord, my Master, my Savior.\u00a0 I want to follow Him and obey Him.\u00a0 I want to be forgiven and transformed.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a book that we would love to send to anyone who senses today that God may be tugging on their heart; senses that it is time to do business with God and to trust Christ and to respond to the invitation of the Gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can call us at 1-800-FLTODAY, and if you would call and say, \"I'd like to become a Christian,\" then someone on our team will be happy to send you a copy of the book, \"Pursuing God.\"\u00a0 That helps you understand what it means to be a follower of Christ.\u00a0 Again, the number of 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Just call and say, \"I want to give my life to Christ. I want to follow Jesus,\" and we're happy to send a copy of the book, \"Pursuing God\" out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, that book is written by Tom Elliff's brother Jim, and it's what we send to folks all the time who contact us and say that they are interested in becoming a Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have copies of Tom Elliff's book, which is called \"The Red Feather,\" that tells the story that we've been listening to this week, and you can get a copy of that book by going to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can order the book from us online, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and say \"I'm interested in the book, \"The Red Feather\" by Tom Elliff, and we'll make arrangements to send it out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur toll-free number again \u2013 1-800-FLTODAY or, if it's easier, just order online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI very quickly want to thank those folks who have gotten in touch with us this week and have made a donation to the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We are dependent on those donations in order to continue the ministry of FamilyLife Today on this station and on other stations all across the country.\u00a0 And in recent days we have had to do what a lot of ministries have had to do this year \u2013 stop and consider \u2013 can we continue this ministry on these particular stations, or can we continue in this particular outreach of FamilyLife?\u00a0 And we've had to make some cuts, frankly, because of the current economic situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know that's true for a lot of families as well, and so when you have called and said we want to support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, we want to make a donation online or over the phone, that has been especially meaningful to us this year.\u00a0 And those donations are being matched on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $425,000 this Christmas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you are able to help with a donation if you've not already contacted us, we would love to hear from you no matter what the donation is, whether it's $5 or $25 or $50 or $100 or $500 or $5,000 \u2013 it doesn't matter.\u00a0 What matters is that you express your support for the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and we do look forward to hearing from you, and I want to say thanks in advance for your generosity.\u00a0 We appreciate your support during these challenging times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday, when we are going to listen back to what we think of as one of our favorite interviews of the year, in fact, one of our favorite all-time interviews.\u00a0 We're going to hear from John and Donna Bishop on Monday and hear a powerful story of sacrificial, covenantal love.\u00a0 I hope you can b here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have a great weekend, we'll see you Monday for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301732"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301732"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301732"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301732"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}