{"id":301653,"date":"2008-08-21T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-21T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/teaching-children-to-think-biblically\/"},"modified":"2008-08-21T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-21T15:00:00","slug":"teaching-children-to-think-biblically","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-children-to-think-biblically\/","title":{"rendered":"Teaching Children to Think Biblically"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do your children know what a real Christian is?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-08-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.7M","filesize_raw":"13319414","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[5009,4828,4126],"podcast_series":[7601],"cwp_profile":[9138],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301653","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-family-ministry","tag-helping-others","tag-ministry","podcast_series-growing-up-christian","cwp_profile-karl-graustein","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301653\/teaching-children-to-think-biblically","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301653\/teaching-children-to-think-biblically","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5ykIYNEvBI\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-children-to-think-biblically\/\">Teaching Children to Think Biblically<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-children-to-think-biblically\/embed\/#?secret=5ykIYNEvBI\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Teaching Children to Think Biblically&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5ykIYNEvBI\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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is stronger in a teenager's life?\u00a0 Their love for Christ or their desire to be accepted by their peer group?\u00a0 Karl Graustein says peer pressure is strong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> It's very real.\u00a0 It may peak in about 9th grade \u2013 the fear of what other people are thinking of them.\u00a0 Every one of us wants to be liked; every one of us wants to be appreciated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut who is the number-one person that we want to think favorably of us?\u00a0 It needs to be the Lord, and that needs to be the driving force of a Christian and, yes, that's very hard for a teen, very hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, August 21st.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What can you do, as a parent, to help your child withstand peer pressure and not be influenced by a fear of man?\u00a0 We'll talk about it today, stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Can I let our listeners in on the \u2013 it's not really a wager \u2013 well, it is a wager.\u00a0 I've made a bet with you about when you became a Christian, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But, Bob, betting \u2013 I don't think you can bring that up as an illustration, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The reason that I bring it up is because what we've wagered is a steak dinner in heaven, and so if betting is not \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did I do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, yes, you agreed to this \u2013 steak dinner in heaven \u2013 because you came forward at your church when you were seven years old, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I did, I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But things really got on track for you spiritually between your sophomore and junior year in college, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> More on track.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah, and you would say you were a Christian back when you were seven, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, I really \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He's craw fishing on the bet!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, if we've got a game of \u2013 what's it called \u2013 Heaven Hold 'em?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That's right, Texas Hold 'em.\u00a0 Yeah, Heaven Hold 'em.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We will find out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay, I guess we will.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I'll see you on the other side, and we'll determine that, but it is interesting to have grown up as a Christian in a Christian home, and made a profession of faith as a seven-year-old lad, I had an intense fear of judgment and of hell, and that was a part of how the Gospel was preached as a young lad growing up, and I walked the aisle as a seven-year-old because you know what?\u00a0 I didn't want to end up in that place, and some people are going, \"Boy, that's not a good motivation.\"\u00a0 I'm going to tell you, that's a great motivation.\u00a0 It really is a great motivation to go to heaven.\u00a0 I don't think I really understood a lot about walking with God until a little bit later, and I don't know how much of that, Bob, was me and how much was the church that I attended in terms of equipping me and modeling that for me, and so \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I'll go on record here as saying I could be dead wrong, because it's entirely possible that \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is likely, that's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2026 at age seven you made a genuine profession, and then there was just a slow growth season for a number of years before things got on track for you.\u00a0 I'll acknowledge that that's a possibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There was a time in there, though, let's be honest about that, where there was no growth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And if you'd have come looking for fruit \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Things were a little bare in that season, mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There wasn't any fruit in my life.\u00a0 I was at church, and I was going there, but it is an interesting premise that you raise here, because there are a lot of people who grow up in Christian families and, in fact, it can be a detriment to knowing when you became a Christian, and we have a guest with us on FamilyLife Today, Karl Graustein.\u00a0 Karl, welcome back to FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Thank you for having me on again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You work with high schoolers, junior highers, you're the head of a Christian school in Gaithersburg, Maryland.\u00a0 You're not a parent of teenagers yet.\u00a0 You have three children, but they are all under the age of six, but you have more than 15 years' experience working with youth.\u00a0 This issue that Bob and I are talking about is a real issue, isn't it?<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Absolutely, and we can spend a lot of time thinking about, \"Well, is that person a Christian?\"\u00a0 or \"When did I become a Christian?\u00a0 Was it when I was seven, was it when I was 25?\"\u00a0 The reality is that we don't need to put our confidence in a childhood profession of faith.\u00a0 We need to be looking at evidence right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you grew up in a Christian home or you didn't, the reality is right now how would you gauge where your heart is at?\u00a0 Do you have a genuine love for the Lord, genuine faith with genuine fruit now?\u00a0 And it's easy for a parent to put confidence in, \"But my child did have this profession when they were five or six.\"\u00a0 But if you look at the evidence now, there is little to none, and yet there is confidence in that profession.\u00a0 We need to be careful not to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs well, we don't need to spend every day of our life always saying, \"Oh, I wonder if I'm a Christian, I wonder if I'm a Christian?\"\u00a0 It's possible to have genuine assurance of salvation.\u00a0 That's what the Apostle John wrote in the first Book of John to inspire the reader to have assurance of salvation.\u00a0 That is something that every genuine Christian should have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Karl, I just want to reinforce something you said we kind of scooted by real quickly \u2013 as parents, we don't want to give our children, as they are growing up, false assurance they they are Christians because they walked the aisle when they were seven or eight, or they prayed the prayer with Mommy or Daddy after we read \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jonah and the whale.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly, you know, when they asked Jesus to come into their hearts.\u00a0 But I like the way you said it, because the real issue is not what occurred in previous years.\u00a0 The issue is today.\u00a0 Who is your Lord, Master, and Savior?\u00a0 And if you're not walking the talk, it's like a businessman I had lunch with the other day.\u00a0 He came in, he goes, \"You know, I'm really tired of referring to people as Christians who don't act like them.\"\u00a0 He said, \"I'd like to know who is a real Christian?\u00a0 What are they?\u00a0 What are they supposed to do?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, you know, he was aggravated because he had been burned a number of times by people who had introduced themselves as Christian businessman or a Christian businesswoman, or \"I'm a Christian father,\" and they displayed no fruit.\u00a0 There was no sign in their lives that God had any part, and they were submitting to Him and being obedient to what the Bible had to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, one of the things a Christian is supposed to do and be and \u2013 or not do is we're not supposed to love the world or the things of the world, and you say in your book that this is one of the challenges teens are facing today and maybe one of the diagnostic tests that parents and teenagers themselves can use to say, \"Am I really a Christian,\" by asking the question, \"Do I love the world more than I love God?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Absolutely.\u00a0 Scripture makes it clear you cannot love the world and love God.\u00a0 They are in opposite directions, and Christianity is about who is the Lord of your life, who do you worship, who do you love?\u00a0 And it is a very good measure to have a young person look at their affections \u2013 what is it that they love to spend time doing?\u00a0 Is it online Facebook and the social networks that provides, and is the iPod and the downloading of the latest music and having 500 different song files on their iPod?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe lure of the world is right there.\u00a0 It may be one of the biggest differences for a person today compared to their adult parents.\u00a0 What a different world our kids are growing up in today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I'm telling you, and I'm reflecting back on raising our children, and our daughters, for instance, around their dress.\u00a0 Now, you're raising daughters who have made professions of faith in Christ, following Christ, and yet you're getting ready to go to church, and as I did on more than one occasion, had to ask a daughter to go upstairs and put on different clothing.\u00a0 Or before school \u2013 you're not going to wear that to school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, help parents understand here what is a love for the world and just a temptation to be like the world?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Good question.\u00a0 When you are asking this question, you are getting to fundamental level of the affections and the desires and maybe you could even use a word like an \"idol\" that a young person might have.\u00a0 What is it that they love to do?\u00a0 What is it that preoccupies their thinking?\u00a0 And a love for the world, as I see in my students, would be a love for the same goals that the world has, whether it would be popularity \u2013 what is popular in the world's eye is very different than what's popular in the Lord's eye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly, Karl, and that would be how I'd challenge you on how you answer this question, because teenagers are preoccupied with peer pressure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And pleasing their friends.\u00a0 I mean, it's just a part of the DNA of being a teen, even those who are attempting to follow Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Absolutely, and Scripture talks about the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and what you described is a fear of man.\u00a0 But it's very real.\u00a0 They may peak in about 9th grade, though, the fear of man just driving you, but you will see adults that are very much affected by the fear of what other people are thinking of them.\u00a0 Every one of us wants to be liked, every one of us wants to be appreciated, but who is our number-one person that we want to say, \"Well done,\" and think favorably of us.\u00a0 It needs to be the Lord, and that needs to be the driving force of a Christian's decision and, yes, that's very hard for a teen, very hard for a teen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Some people will hear the Scriptures say, \"Don't love the world or the things of the world,\" and their response to that is, \"We must then isolate, we must try and shield ourselves from any worldly influence, lest we be tempted.\"\u00a0 You can't live like that, can you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> It's impossible.\u00a0 There are two extreme reactions.\u00a0 One would be to flee completely, and the other would be, \"Well, you can't, so let's stop fighting.\"\u00a0 And those are two extremes that I don't think the Lord calls us to.\u00a0 We need to be wise because there are certain things that we can flee from, and we should flee from, but there are also moments where we just \u2013 we can't.\u00a0 I don't know, it might be in the workplace.\u00a0 There may be certain conversation.\u00a0 God may call a young person to stop working at the ice cream shop, but it also may be the time where God would call that person to walk through standing up for their faith, and there's a valuable lesson there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to buy some clothes.\u00a0 It's a challenge \u2013 you could buy it on the Internet, you could go to the mall, you've got a lot of different options, but in every one of those you're going to be faced with the situation of what is appropriate clothing, what's not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMusic \u2013 what a wonderful gift music is for us as Christians, as humans who are designed by our Creator to love and value and respond well to music.\u00a0 But there's a lot of different music out there, and we have to show discernment, and it's perfectly appropriate for a young person to download a great Christian song and be inspired by that.\u00a0 But you go to iTunes, and you're going to have choices you're going to have to make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Man, tons of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just on that website alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And some of those choices are going to gray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we've just got to acknowledge that some kids are going to download a song and go, \"That's okay, that doesn't impede my walk with Christ.\"\u00a0 Other kids \u2013 it's a cause for stumbling, and that's what Romans 14 was given to us for so that we don't fall into the trap of saying, \"Well, because it's wrong for me, therefore it's wrong for you,\" and, at the same time, we don't fall into the trap of thinking, \"Well, I can handle this without recognizing that there is potential spiritual danger in some of those choices.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Yeah, and let me make a comment to any teenagers who might be listening.\u00a0 One temptation that you're going to face will be to say or evaluate music by the question, \"Is this bad, is this inappropriate?\"\u00a0 And, okay, it's not bad, therefore, it's okay.\u00a0 I want to challenge you to be thinking, \"Does this glorify the Lord?\u00a0 Is this pleasing the Lord?\u00a0 Is this good?\"\u00a0 It's a subtle shift of words but a huge change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing for parents \u2013 I just want to encourage that this \u2013 time and time again I am interacting with teens and parents, and they are walking through the challenge of talking about music and what's appropriate and what's not.\u00a0 This is a challenge, I know, and potentially a temptation towards anger but also the benefit here is that you are having a chance to walk your child through something that may help them form a biblical conviction.\u00a0 Not just in music but know how to form a biblical conviction that will then translate to movies; that would then translate to television; that would then translate to friendships, so the conversation with your child may be about music, but it is a stepping stone to helping them develop biblical convictions that are their own that will help them for life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wrote a chapter in the book that you and Barbara wrote, \"Parenting Today's Adolescent,\" on the trap of media, movies, music, this whole issue, and there is going to come a day when your kids are going to decide what movies they're going to watch and what music they're going to listen to, and some of those choices may not be the choices you want to make.\u00a0 Some parents think, \"I just need to control that until they're 25,\" and that doesn't work, does it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It isn't going to work, it isn't going to work, and, oh, I had a number of thoughts, Karl, because we raised six through adolescence.\u00a0 We're done now, Bob's not.\u00a0 He's still in the thick of it a bit, but I was reflecting back on the number of times we'd have a discussion about a movie we wanted to go see until we began to find out what its content was, and when you saw it in black and white where all the words that were in the movie had been displayed on the screen, you'd go, \"Whoa, that's not good, just not good.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then they leave the home, and so you begin to see, \"Okay, now we're going to see what your choices are.\u00a0 Did anything we say stick?\"\u00a0 And it would be interesting to look back on all of our kids.\u00a0 I don't want to generalize and say all of them did this, because I can't prove it, but I think almost all of our kids widened the path of the type of movies they watched, okay, and I don't think they got off into hard-core stuff, but I do think they started watching some R-rated movies.\u00a0 And yet today, as adults, they are all following Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They're starting to narrow their path a little bit again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I think as their children get older, I think what you're going to see is the same thing that happened with us, Bob.\u00a0 It was my children that helped me determine, now, wait a second, what do I believe about this?\u00a0 And it's like a very wise man said to me one time, \"All of life is about determining your convictions.\"\u00a0 You're going through, you're working through the Bible, you're coming to fresh issues that demand an application of the Scriptures to real-life situations, and you're doing your best to determine what you believe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And let's be clear about the goal here, too.\u00a0 The goal is not ultimately to just correct the behavior.\u00a0 The goal is to get to their heart and say what's in your heart that's causing that?\u00a0 I mean, we come back to the whole issue of kids growing up in Christian homes and are these kids really Christians and how do you know if they're really Christians?\u00a0 Well, that takes a heart diagnostic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And so this can be one of those opportunities to pull back and say, \"Well, let's just talk about that and about the heart from which that proceeds.\u00a0 Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and what I hear coming out of your mouth is different than what you say is in your heart.\u00a0 Let's talk about that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> And even one more goal beyond that is you're trying to prepare your young person for life on their own, and so we can get frustrated when a teenager asks the teacher, \"But why are we doing this?\" or a teenage child asks the parent, \"Why, but why?\"\u00a0 Well, that question should lead to dialog.\u00a0 If the young person is patient and willing to listen, willing to do the heart work, hopefully, they develop this conviction that will prepare them for life.\u00a0 So when they're 25, they're 35, they are not responding to Mom or Dad in the way they speak.\u00a0 They are not even thinking about Mom and Dad.\u00a0 They, hopefully, are thinking about the Lord and doing what's right in that moment, even if the peer pressure is in the opposite direction or even if they're just talking with one person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is one of the places of life that wore Barbara and me out.\u00a0 I mean, this was tough stuff, because it's over and over and over again, and sometimes it's the attempt to dialog with a brick, with a child whose attitude and whose heart is stone cold.\u00a0 And, let's face it, from time to time the peers get the upper hand, the world gets the upper hand, they forget whose they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Their flesh gets the upper hand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I'm telling you, and you know what?\u00a0 I remember.\u00a0 I remember my 'tude, and so it's kind of like, I feel like my mom is in heaven right now smiling, \"Oh, my prayers have been answered.\u00a0 Lord God, send him one like himself so that You might teach him some of the pain he caused me.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karl:<\/strong> I see this, as well, with teachers with students on a different relationship, obviously.\u00a0 That's why a parent or a teacher needs to always be aware \u2013 what is the health of my relationship with this young person, because the closer and stronger the general relationship the more honest and the more clear or blunt you could be.\u00a0 And, at the same time, though, one of my close friends, he talks about his teenagers seem to open up around 11:00 at night, and he's well past his bedtime, and the conversation is there but, you know, God has opened the conversation right then, and he pauses, and he has it.\u00a0 And he may be tired the next day, but he is grateful to God for the conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you seize those that you are given by God, and you are wise to know when you're not supposed to push as much.\u00a0 This is where, I'm sure, in your experience, you had to go before the Lord and say, \"Lord, what is wise in this moment?\u00a0 What is right, what is wise, what is winsome?\"\u00a0 And I see this time and time again with teachers \u2013 we have to be winsome in our faith, in our values, and win a young person over but, hopefully, we have the most important thing right; that is, their hearts have been transformed already, and then we can build on that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think everything we're talking about here has to take place with a relationship in place with your child, and it's like building a bridge.\u00a0 I don't know if you've ever been to San Francisco in Oakland, but there is a bridge that \u2013 I don't know the name of the bridge \u2013 Bob, you may \u2013 but there's a bridge that goes from Oakland to San Francisco \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, that long, six, seven-mile long bridge?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, it's huge, and it's magnificent, but it looks like it's a one-way bridge.\u00a0 But what's disguised is there is another lane of traffic underneath that top bridge that is carrying just as much traffic from San Francisco back to Oakland.\u00a0 And I think that's a picture of what a relationship looks like with a teenager.\u00a0 A parent has to realize, yes, you need to build the bridge of the relationship to your child, but, yes, you need to allow that traffic and that relationship to come back to you.\u00a0 And that's how you can pass on truth, pass on empathy for the challenges they are facing, you can answer their spiritual questions but, I'm going to tell you, if there has been an earthquake that has been caused by sin in the child's life or in your life, and that bridge goes down, if you don't have the relationship, there is no ability to drive the truth of Scripture across to the child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and we've got to keep in mind what the goal is, and the goal is for that child to get the spiritual handoff, and that's where that bridge has got to be in place, but then to ultimately embrace their faith as their own.\u00a0 And I think the counsel that you give to parents in the book, \"Parenting Today's Adolescent,\" along with what you've addressed, Karl, in your book, \"Growing Up Christian,\" helps parents be focused on the right objective and then know how to live that out in some very specific challenges that you're going to face during the adolescent years as your kids get pulled in different directions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know my son read the book, \"Growing Up Christian,\" with a small group, and it was great for us to be able to dialog about some of these issues and to ask the question, \"Have these been challenges for you?\u00a0 How are you doing in these areas?\"\u00a0 Again, we've got both books in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 On the home page, on the right side, you'll see a box that says \"Today's Broadcast,\" and if you click where it says, \"Learn More,\" that will take you to the area of the site where there is more information about the resources that are available from us here at FamilyLife Today, how you can get these two books sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can also call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, and someone on our team can make arrangements to have one or both of these books sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it's always an encouragement to us when we hear from listeners, whether it's with a question or with a comment, when we get suggestions, even those of you who chide us from time to time because there is something you hear that you disagree with, we appreciate the feedback and the opportunity to dialog.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd recently we've had listeners who have been calling in to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today and have also been issuing challenges to some of their fellow listeners.\u00a0 We heard from a couple recently who had attended one of our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences, and they had found it helpful.\u00a0 It had been, in fact, a turning point for them in their marriage relationship, and they called to make a donation, and they said, \"We want to challenge everyone who has benefited from the ministry of FamilyLife through the Weekend to Remember conference to consider making a donation here at the end of August as a part of the Family First Challenge Campaign.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we are passing that challenge on to you.\u00a0 If you've been to a Weekend to Remember, and you found it helpful, maybe God did something special during that weekend in your marriage, would you consider joining the Family First Challenge Campaign and making a donation this week or next week for the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you are a regular FamilyLife Today listener, and you'd like to issue a challenge of your own, call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation and throw it down, all right?\u00a0 1-800-FLTODAY, or go online and make a donation at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your support.\u00a0 We hope you'll respond to one of these challenges or issue a challenge of your own, and we look forward to hearing from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we want to talk about technology and the challenges facing parents as they try to raise their children in a Christian environment when technology, again, is pressing in, pointing kids in different directions.\u00a0 We'll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 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