{"id":301639,"date":"2008-08-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-real-reason-to-love-and-respect\/"},"modified":"2008-08-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-01T15:00:00","slug":"the-real-reason-to-love-and-respect","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-real-reason-to-love-and-respect\/","title":{"rendered":"The Real Reason to Love and Respect"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On today&#8217;s broadcast, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of the book Love and Respect, reveals the ultimate reason why husbands should love their wives and wives should respect their husbands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-08-01.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11M","filesize_raw":"11530184","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2902],"tags":[4914,2918,4974],"podcast_series":[7372],"cwp_profile":[3367],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301639","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resolving-conflict","tag-arguing","tag-conflict","tag-fighting","podcast_series-love-and-respect","cwp_profile-emerson-eggerichs","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301639\/the-real-reason-to-love-and-respect","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301639\/the-real-reason-to-love-and-respect","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"R7JVBcZC78\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-real-reason-to-love-and-respect\/\">The Real Reason to Love and Respect<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-real-reason-to-love-and-respect\/embed\/#?secret=R7JVBcZC78\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Real Reason to Love and Respect&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"R7JVBcZC78\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"On today's broadcast, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of the book Love and Respect, reveals the ultimate reason why husbands should love their wives and wives should respect their husbands.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-08-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Couples who find themselves struggling in marriage are often struggling because they just don't know how to communicate with one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne reason they don't know how to communicate with one another is because, as men and women, we communicate differently.\u00a0 Here's Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> He wears blue hearing aids, and she wears pink hearing aids, and there is a dissonance that results from that.\u00a0 A wife would like to talk about the marital problems on a daily basis in order to prevent major marital problems.\u00a0 She'd like to keep the relationship up to date in order for us to have a wonderful marriage.\u00a0 That's where she's coming from.\u00a0 A guy is thinking, \"If we're talking about marital problems on a daily basis, we've got a major marital problem.\"\u00a0 You see how this works?\u00a0 Not wrong \u2013 just different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, August 1st.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Whatever color your hearing aids are, put them in and turn them up today.\u00a0 We're going to help you communicate more effectively in your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 And real quickly, here at the beginning of the program, Dennis, let me remind listeners that today is the last day they have, the last opportunity they have, if they'd like to register for one of our upcoming fall Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences.\u00a0 Attend this two and a half day weekend conference and save up to $100 per couple off the complete package.\u00a0 All the details are on our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Go to our home page and click on the right side where it says \"Today's Broadcast.\"\u00a0 You'll find a link that will give you all the details of the special offer for FamilyLife Today listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we need you to register today either by phone or online, and we need you to identify yourself as a FamilyLife Today listener.\u00a0 So if you call 1-800-FLTODAY to register, just mention that you listening to FamilyLife Today or mention my name, \"Bob,\" or if you're online at FamilyLife.com, you've got all the details, you're ready to register, when you come to the keycode box on the registration form, type in \"Bob,\" and you will qualify for the special offer for FamilyLife Today listeners.\u00a0 You'll save up to $100 per couple on the complete Weekend to Remember package but, again, today is your last opportunity to register.\u00a0 We need to hear from you before midnight tonight Pacific time in order for you to take advantage of this opportunity.\u00a0 And there will be folks standing by to take your call throughout the day, throughout the evening into the night.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo call us at 1-800-FLTODAY or register online at FamilyLife.com, and then plan to join us this fall for one of our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences.\u00a0 It will be a great weekend to remember, because we're going to talk about strengthening your marriage, improving your communication.\u00a0 In fact, we're going to talk about improving your communication today, and I appreciate you taking Dr. Eggerichs literally, but I think you can take off blue sunglasses here in the studio \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2026 or blue hearing aids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Or blue megaphones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you show up with all three of them here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That image is kind of frightening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It's a metaphor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It's a frightening image \u2013 and women with pink sunglasses, pink hearing aids, and a pink megaphone \u2013 Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has joined us all this week, and it's been a treat to have you.\u00a0 You have transformed Bob's marriage.\u00a0 I can tell he's taking this stuff back home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The pink and the blue, the whole idea here is that \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He was talking to Mary Ann about those megaphones and hearing aids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do have to understand that we are different, and when we understand that and when we understand that some core needs are different, it can have a transforming impact on our marriage, can't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> God made us male and female, not wrong \u2013 just different.\u00a0 A wife says, \"I have nothing to wear.\"\u00a0 What she means is she has nothing new.\u00a0 A husband says, \"I have nothing to wear.\"\u00a0 What he means is he has nothing clean.\u00a0 So we say the very same words, the same words, and if 10 women were listening to her through their pink hearing aids speaking through the pink megaphone, \"I have nothing to wear.\"\u00a0 \"Sweetie, we don't have anything new, either, but the mall is open down there, and they've got a special on,\" right?\u00a0 If 10 guys are listening to him say through his blue megaphone through their blue hearing aids, \"I don't have anything to wear.\"\u00a0 \"She ain't doin' your laundry either?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There's a reason why he understands this.\u00a0 Emerson heads up Love and Respect Ministries.\u00a0 He and his wife Sarah have been married since 1973.\u00a0 We got married in '72, so we've been tracking along some of the same lessons, kind of digging out the answers to our marriage from the same source \u2013 the Bible.\u00a0 And you discovered that men and women need \u2013 well, something very simple \u2013 men need to be respected, women need to be loved.\u00a0 And you believed in the command for men to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands; that there is a reward, a benefit, that God has for couples and individuals who practiced this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes, yes, and it's based on Ephesians 5:33, and the first part, husbands love wives, there is a cultural church consensus that that's the way it ought to be.\u00a0 Every woman believes that.\u00a0 But the idea of respecting a man, some women gag \u2013 if they're having coffee at the table right now, they just spit it out across the table, so to speak, because she doesn't feel that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut God has revealed something that's very powerful, and we said couples get in a crazy cycle that when she feels unloved she reacts in ways that are disrespectful to her husband.\u00a0 She doesn't really mean to, but that's how she's coming across, and what the Scripture is saying is soften that because he's not going to hear your deeper cry to be reassured that you're loved.\u00a0 Because when a man feels disrespected, he tends to react in ways that he thinks is honorable but which, in a woman's world, shouts, \"I don't love you.\"\u00a0 He stonewalls, shuts down, and so the craziness.\u00a0 Without love she reacts without respect, without respect he reacts without love.\u00a0 And we've been addressing how you get off that crazy cycle, and in our book we talk about that, we talk about how you spell love, how you spell respect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what we're asking now is, \"Well, what if I do this in good faith?\u00a0 I'm going to try to be a more loving man because I'm a man of honor.\"\u00a0 \"I'm going to try to be a respectful woman, because I'm a woman of love.\u00a0 And this thing of respecting a man that you don't feel respect for certainly doesn\u2019t seem right to me, but I'm going to do that, and I'm going to really try it, but, you know, I have this feeling that my husband isn't going to respond.\u00a0 Maybe he's transferred his affection to somebody else, and we probably don't apply to where you're at.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Scripture does apply to where you're at, and in some ways the Scripture is addressing issues that are even worse.\u00a0 Hosea 3:1, \"How do you win an adulterous woman?\"\u00a0 The prophet said, \"Go love a woman who is adulteress.\"\u00a0 You win a woman through love and, in this case, she is an adulteress.\u00a0 How do you win a man?\u00a0 Peter is very clear \u2013 you win him through respectful behavior.\u00a0 You can win your husband, who is disobedient in the Word, 1 Peter 3:1-2, \"through respectful behavior.\"\u00a0 You win a woman through love, you win a man through respect, and this man was disobedient to the Word.\u00a0 He is one bad dude.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo you who are listening, there is hope, there is hope, but I know it's problematic, I know you're suffering, and what your deeper cry is, \"Are you sure this is going to work in my case?\"\u00a0 And the answer is \"Yes.\"\u00a0 Now, they divorce you and marry another person, it's over with, I understand that.\u00a0 But let's not shut the door on your relationship if God hasn't absolutely shut that door yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut now just suppose, though, you're in this marriage, and it's not working, and you think, \"What would give me the incentive to do this?\u00a0 Why in the world would I do this?\"\u00a0 Well, here's what's exciting.\u00a0 You're not going to be married to this person in heaven.\u00a0 Do you remember the story of the Sadducees?\u00a0 We could laugh at that, because this is temporary, and I only have to suffer for so long, but the powerful story of the Sadducees, they came to Jesus, tried to trick him, and the Sadducees said to Jesus, \"There were seven sons, and, well, this first son married this woman, and he died.\u00a0 So tradition is she married the next son.\u00a0 Lord, he died, and so she married a third, and he died, and fourth, and he died, and the fifth, and then he died, and the sixth, on to the seventh, and then the seventh husband died, and then she died.\u00a0 In the Resurrection, whose wife will she be?\u00a0 In other words, they were asking, \"Who is she going to be married to?\u00a0 Who is she going to be married to at the Judgment?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"We've got you tricked here because the Resurrection isn't real,\" they didn't believe in it, but it was a trick.\u00a0 But Jesus said, \"You neither know the Scriptures nor the power of God.\u00a0 You're not given a marriage in heaven nor will you be married in heaven, but you'll be like angels.\"\u00a0 And the Bible teaches that we're the bride of Christ and Revelations says, \"Behold, the wife of the Lamb\" \u2013 that we're married to Christ.\u00a0 The marriage feast begins, the consummation of our eternal marriage to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is this \u2013 marriage is a tool and test to deepen and demonstrate our love and our reverence for Jesus Christ.\u00a0 God calls me to love Sarah, my wife, and I'm going to fail at it every day.\u00a0 But it's as though I'm really to love Christ.\u00a0 I love Christ and periodically Sarah walks in between me and Jesus, and my love for Christ should spill over onto Sarah as love for her.\u00a0 So if I'm not loving Sarah, ultimately, as a follower of Christ, it means I'm not loving Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah is called upon to reverence Jesus \u2013 Ephesians 5:21 and all the way through \u2013 \"In the reverence of Christ we do what we do.\"\u00a0 And I walk in between her and Jesus, and her reverence for Christ should spill over onto me as respect for me.\u00a0 That's why women say, \"I'm not going to respect him\" then she doesn't know the Scripture.\u00a0 I'll give her some grace there, but if she does know that verse, and she's saying, \"I\u2019m not going to do that,\" then I say, in my heart, she's not reverencing Jesus Christ, because it's not about her husband, it's about her trust.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I can see it \u2013 I'm standing before the Lord on the judgment, and the Lord says, \"Emerson, did you love Sarah?\"\u00a0 [laughing] \"You've got to be kidding.\u00a0 Lord, do you know the family of origin stuff?\u00a0 Do you know the stuff that woman was\" \u2013 \"Emerson!\"\u00a0 \"Yes, Lord?\"\u00a0 \"This isn't about Sarah.\u00a0 I commanded you to love her.\u00a0 Did you do that out of trust and obedience toward me?\u00a0 And did you do that out of love and reverence for me?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see, that's how it's going down.\u00a0 In fact, Christ said, \"As you've done it to the least of these, you've done it to me,\" and Paul is very clear in Ephesians 5, which is the major treatise in the New Testament marriage.\u00a0 He starts out horizontally about loving your spouse, respecting your spouse and that whole teaching, but woven into all of that is the woman does what she does \"as to the Lord.\"\u00a0 He goes vertical, and the husband is to do it as \"Christ loved the church.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what the Scripture is calling me to do, and Paul goes on in Ephesians 6 to say, \"Whatever good thing each one does, this he'll receive back from the Lord.\"\u00a0 Every time I put on love toward Sarah who is disrespectful to me, there is a reward in heaven.\u00a0 There is a cha-ching effect.\u00a0 Nothing you do is wasted.\u00a0 When I first strated teaching this I thought people might shut down on it, but people are in such despair that they just feel like this is all a waste.\u00a0 No!\u00a0 No, no, no, no.\u00a0 Everything you do matters, everything counts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs believers, we have to ask ourselves, do we live by a revelatory view of the world?\u00a0 Do we believe that God is there and Christ is His Son, and when Jesus said, \"Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God,\" do we or do we not believe that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and I are going to have to come to a point \u2013 if God is there, and He has spoken on this, then this isn't about my spouse.\u00a0 This is about Christ and me, and the Lord wants to say, \"Atta boy,\" he wants to say \"Atta girl,\" and He isn't playing a game here, and He's not a cosmic killjoy to ruin our party.\u00a0 It's going down and, for some of you who are faithful, you have no idea of the rewards that are coming.\u00a0 You have no idea, because God does not want you to know, but you've got to trust Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Faithfulness may mean suffering for some people, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> That's right.\u00a0 We say if you're in harm's way physically, you need to get out of that.\u00a0 But if there is a social suffering, the persecution, the reviling statements, Peter is very clear.\u00a0 Jesus uttered no threats when He was reviled.\u00a0 He kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously, and Christ became the great model for this.\u00a0 You cannot, in any way, divide the Word any other way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the question is \u2013 why would anybody want to suffer?\u00a0 Is that just an in in itself?\u00a0 Well, in many cases, the suffering is not anywhere close to what it could be.\u00a0 We're not talking physical torture here.\u00a0 We're talking emotional rejection, and I've also been making the case that \u2013 in many cases, it feels like rejection when it's not.\u00a0 He is stonewalling because he feels disrespected not because he's trying to be unloving.\u00a0 She is being disrespectful to get you to connect with her because she's feeling insecure about being unloved.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn most cases, it ain't suffering by any stretch of the imagination, but there are those episodes that we all experience, like the adulterous situation, where it is true evil, and it is devastating and defiling, and in that decision that you make to enter this suffering \u2013 oh, the times of quiet meditation, the times of prayer, the incredible presence of God that will show up, and the cha-ching effect in heaven is beyond anything you can think, ask, or imagine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, we had as a guest a woman who went through a season of breast cancer.\u00a0 She was in chemo and radiation for a year, she had a mastectomy as a part of this procedure, and she said that the end of that year that she wouldn't trade the year's experience, that suffering she had gone through, because God had been there in the midst of it and had loosed some bonds.\u00a0 He had taken her through the fire to burn off some of what was keeping her bound up.\u00a0 For a woman or for a man who perseveres in the middle of a difficult marriage situation, God is going to be there, God is going to walk through it with them, and He is going to be closer to them than they've ever experienced before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Exactly, and we just went through \u2013 my wife just went through a double mastectomy, and just suffering of that nature, the physical suffering, is part and parcel of the world we live in.\u00a0 And in some ways, as mature people, we recognize we aren't going to get out of this world alive, and that these kinds of things happen.\u00a0 What the troubling is, is I didn't get into marriage with the idea that I was going to suffer, and so a person has to then come to this realization \u2013 are you going to blame your spouse, then, for not \"meeting your deepest needs?\"\u00a0 And that's a legitimate question.\u00a0 Now the question is, are you going to divorce the person, are you going to resent the person?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt seems to me that this is really a golden opportunity.\u00a0 You're set apart \u2013 that you can actually imitate Christ.\u00a0 Wouldn't it be sad if you ascended into the eternal realm, and you looked back and, \"You know, I never had an opportunity to suffer.\u00a0 I never had an opportunity to identify with the sufferings of Christ.\"\u00a0 This is a moment in your life that you may be able to go very deep into your relationship with Christ, but if Christ isn't important to you, then what I just said you want to spit at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if Christ is there, and this is real, then I'm going to invite you to consider, it's not fair, it's not just, but whether there is something that is so precious that is going to come to you \u2013 not now, necessarily, maybe the marriage won't be restored, but I'm going to tell you there is coming the day when you ascend into the eternal realm, you will not be able to express the depth of emotion you are feeling as you worship the one who loved you and said, \"Oh, Lord, thank You for that.\u00a0 Thank You that you gave me the privilege of entering that kind of suffering.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We don't get married planning on suffering, and that, I think, is largely the problem.\u00a0 And so we don't know how to operate by faith as we encounter suffering, and yet the Scripture warns us \u2013 1 Peter, chapter 4, verse 12 \u2013 \"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing as though some strange thing were happening to you.\u00a0 But to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing so that also at the revelation of His glory\" \u2013 and here's the kicker \u2013 \"you may rejoice with exaltation.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you're saying here is for many who are listening to us \u2013 in fact, I think we can safely say for all, because we all have been called to suffer at some level \u2013 it may be the loss of a job, it may be a child who has become a prodigal.\u00a0 We have all been called to suffer and handle suffering by faith and fulfill what is our obligation, what God has called us to be and to do.\u00a0 He has called us to obey Him regardless of how we feel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to make one other application, Emerson, and you've been hitting on this all week long, and I want you to comment on this.\u00a0 We're not just calling couples to stay married, we're calling couples to get out of their cycle of damage to one another and get on a healing road.\u00a0 But we're also calling couples to counsel and advise friends whose marriages may be in trouble.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou're calling the Christian community to go and pursue those who are on their way to a divorce, perhaps for some, frankly, some surface reasons.\u00a0 We've been talking about them all week long \u2013 and to go in pursuit of those marriages and say you know what?\u00a0 Maybe you've been called to suffer.\u00a0 You've been called to live by faith.\u00a0 You're a believer.\u00a0 You're a follower of Christ.\u00a0 You can't divorce that person.\u00a0 And go do battle on behalf of marriages that are otherwise going to be terminated because no one stepped into their lives and spoke the truth to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Exactly, profoundly said.\u00a0 When I first began to share some of these things, and I suffered in my own upbringing, so I kind of understand that pain.\u00a0 I cried myself to sleep so many nights when Mom and Dad were not getting along, I wet the bed, I said, until I was 11 and went off to a military school and the loneliness that I experienced \u2013 just my own childhood was not really what I would call happy.\u00a0 So I understand at some levels, and we all have issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I first began to talk about this suffering thought, I thought, \"How would people hear this who are in that?\"\u00a0 What I've been really amazed at, the people said, \"You know what? At one level I really don't like hearing that because I want to be happy, but I know I'm not.\u00a0 And what you've now said is there can be purpose in this.\"\u00a0 And the irony here is that when you put it that way that gives me a sense of mission, a sense of purpose, that this thing is not wasted; that this thing is not just some dead-end street.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I know now, and I'm confident saying this \u2013 some who are listening right now and even though we don't want to say, \"You must suffer,\" there is a purpose in this suffering.\u00a0 There is something that's going to result in this eternal glory, and it is going to come to you.\u00a0 It is just a matter of time.\u00a0 So if you remain true to this, it's going to take place, and you've got to trust that by faith and believe God in the midst of this situation.\u00a0 And the world won't tell you that.\u00a0 They are not going to say that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd also on the point you made about these couples out there \u2013 folks, you who love God, and you who care about people, you've got to make sure that you are representing, as an ambassador of Christ, the truth of Christ.\u00a0 It is so easy when someone is seated next to us, and they come over, alone, and they are crying, and they are weeping, and they are telling their story, this person is confused, particularly the woman.\u00a0 She just doesn't understand what she can do.\u00a0 She's tried everything.\u00a0 She's trying to love on him.\u00a0 It's crucial that we make sure that we're not saying, \"You know what?\u00a0 Maybe you ought to divorce the bum.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI never remember anybody speaking into my mom, and this was in the '50s, and into my dad's life.\u00a0 The culture, as a whole, didn't endorse it, so there was a pressure there.\u00a0 Today there isn't any, and I would have rejoiced if someone had shown up at my house, and I could have been standing in my bedroom listening through the door crack while they were, \"Jay and Ed, you can make it.\u00a0 We had problems, but you can make it.\u00a0 And for the sake of little Eddie\" \u2013 which was my nickname growing up \u2013 \"you can do this.\"\u00a0 No one, Dennis, ever came to my house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And there has to be those people today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> They're all over the place, but they feel \u2013 maybe it's not their right, and maybe it isn't their right \u2013 so you can just say, \"This isn't my right, but we just love you guys so much, maybe we're going to say something really stupid here, but we just care too much about you and the family.\"\u00a0 But beyond that, don't say to them, \"God just wants you happy.\"\u00a0 You're a false prophet if you say that.\u00a0 That's not what Christ is saying.\u00a0 They are to be blessed, but that doesn't mean in the happiness that we mean \u2013 that He wants you to have this romantic Hollywood thing, divorce the bum, and go out \u2013 that is not the message of Christ from the kingdom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I couldn't agree more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou're going to have to make a decision \u2013 can I and will I stand alone in this, doing this unto Jesus Christ, and if it is the case, you have no idea, you have no idea \u2013 if the Bible is true, and Christ is real, and God is there, it's going down this way, and in a few years you're going to ascend into the eternal realm, and you're going to stand before the Lord, and He is going to say to you, \"Well done, good and faithful servant.\u00a0 You were faithful in a few things \u2013 putting on love toward a disrespectful person, putting on respect toward an unloving person.\u00a0 I'm going to put you in charge of many things.\"\u00a0 Enter the joy of your Master, and when you turn, you're going to go \"Aaaah!\"\u00a0 You have no idea what's coming, and God does not intend for you to know right now.\u00a0 So you must take it by faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I'm going to tell you this, if you put on love or respect, the world will tell you that you're a fool.\u00a0 But you're going to have to ask yourself, \"Is this foolishness really the wisdom of God, and is this going to result in an eternal reward that will never end?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I feel like saying, \"Amen.\"\u00a0 I mean it.\u00a0 Emerson, thank you for making it clear \u2013 anyone who has listened today or at any point this week, has heard an unmistakable witness about the truth of God's Word, and I want to thank you for being a deliverer of that message but also of many, many marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I have had the occasion many times at our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference to point people to your book.\u00a0 I've walked them over to the table and said, \"This is a book you ought to get and read and read together, because I think it will have a profound impact on your marriage, and I want to encourage our listeners to contact us if they'd like to get a copy of the book, \"Love and Respect,\" and I also want to encourage our listeners to attend one of these weekend getaways that we host for couples in cities all across the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis fall we're going to be in dozens of cities and today is the last opportunity you have to register for one of these upcoming conferences and to save up to $100 per couple off the complete conference experience.\u00a0 Now, all the details are on our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can also call 1-800-FLTODAY for more information or for details about when the conference is coming to a city near where you live, how you can get registered, all the details about the special offer we're making available to radio listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if you want to take advantage of it, we need to hear from you before midnight tonight \u2013 that's midnight Pacific time.\u00a0 This is your last opportunity to register.\u00a0 You can do that online at FamilyLife.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and register over the phone.\u00a0 But keep in mind you need to identify yourself as a radio listener.\u00a0 So if you're registering online, when you come to the keycode box on the registration form, just type in \"Bob\" and we'll know you're a FamilyLife Today listener, and you'll be all taken care of.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, say \"I listen to the radio,\" or \"I'm a friend of Bob,\" either way and we'll get you registered for one of these events and, again, you will save up to $100 per couple off the complete conference experience if we hear from you before midnight tonight.\u00a0 That's midnight Pacific time, so we do hope you'll contact us and hope you'll plan to attend a great getaway weekend for couples, one of our upcoming FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences when it comes to a city near where you live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, with that, we've got to wrap things up for today.\u00a0 I hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us on Monday when we're going to introduce you to a remarkable couple who have a powerful story to tell about their own marriage relationship.\u00a0 You'll meet John and Donna Bishop on Monday.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Let me say congratulations to my daughter, Katy, and her fianc\u00e9, Elliott.\u00a0 They'll be married tomorrow night, and we'll see you back on Monday for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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