{"id":301512,"date":"2008-01-23T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-23T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife-part-1\/"},"modified":"2008-01-23T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-23T17:00:00","slug":"the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"The Christian Husband:  Loving Your Wife Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are the qualifications of a Christian husband?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-01-23.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.81M","filesize_raw":"11331362","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901],"tags":[4284,4868,4698],"podcast_series":[7564],"cwp_profile":[3142],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301512","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","tag-father","tag-husband","tag-manhood","podcast_series-the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife","cwp_profile-bob-lepine","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301512\/the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301512\/the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"aIorsvloBv\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife-part-1\/\">The Christian Husband:  Loving Your Wife Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-christian-husband-loving-your-wife-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=aIorsvloBv\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Christian Husband:  Loving Your Wife Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"aIorsvloBv\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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last time you said, \"I love you,\" to your wife without saying anything?\u00a0 Here is Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0The other night on the deck, Barbara was working on sanding some chairs, and I went out on the deck with her, and I helped her with those chairs and took a couple of screws out of a chair that needed some repairing, and she told me later, she said, \"You know, just you spending that time with me made a statement to me that you love me, and you care for me, and you want to be a part of what I'm doing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Those kinds of things motivate a woman to do what she was designed to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, January 23rd.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We're going to talk today about a number of the ways that a husband can tell his wife he loves her and do it in ways that she'll understand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 We're going to spend some time talking about an assignment that God has given all of us who are husbands, and that's the assignment of loving our wives.\u00a0 We're going to talk about how we can do a good job doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Theme song from \"Mission Impossible\"]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Do you hear it?\u00a0 Do you hear it?\u00a0 That's the theme song \u2013 you know it \u2013 from \"Mission Impossible,\" do you hear it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It feels that way sometimes, doesn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, but this is not Mission Impossible, it really isn't.\u00a0 In fact, I want to just read to our husbands for a moment, and at this point all the wives are moving to the edge of their seats, they're reaching forward to the radio, and they're turning the dial a little \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 making sure we get it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0A little louder, they're getting a pencil out, sharpening the lead, getting some fresh paper \u2013 well, this would be a good idea for every husband to listen up on.\u00a0 Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 25, and here is just a little more than a dozen words.\u00a0 I mean, it's not a lot of words, but it's a huge assignment.\u00a0 It is an assignment, however, that is achievable.\u00a0 It is Mission Possible.\u00a0 \"Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Four words \u2013 \"husbands, love your wives.\"\u00a0 You don't stop there, though, you have to look at the rest of the \u2013 really, the description there, \"just as Christ also loved the church.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Today on the broadcast we want to do a little equipping.\u00a0 We're going to have a little seminar.\u00a0 I have a lot of listeners who come up to me \u2013 I know they do to you, Bob \u2013 they come up and say, \"You two guys are helping me \u2013 well, you've helped us shape our family, and it's like you're a mentor, you're training me, you're teaching me how to do certain aspects of building a Christian family.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, today, this is no different.\u00a0 In fact, for the next couple of days we're going to be talking about Bob Lepine's new book, \"The Christian Husband,\" and specifically this area that you talk about in chapter 9 of \"How to Love Your Wives.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, Bob, do you remember the first time you told Mary Ann you loved her?\u00a0 Can you remember back that far?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I do remember it.\u00a0 It was actually a little creative, and there's a disclaimer I've got to give here at the beginning because, first of all, I was young; second, I was stupid; and, third, I didn't know Christ.\u00a0 So all of that was factored into this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But what I didn't realize is that when a young man says to a young woman, \"I love you,\" he's saying one thing, and she's hearing something else.\u00a0 I mean, I was saying, \"You're a really nice person, and I like you a lot.\u00a0 In fact, I like you better than most of the girls around here.\u00a0 I'd like to get to know you better, and I'm kind of drawn to you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But Mary Ann was hearing \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She was hearing \"The ring is next.\"\u00a0 You know, \"I love you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0She was hearing the Wedding March, is that it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, it was entirely premature.\u00a0 We had known one another for two or three weeks, all right?\u00a0 And I was walking by her car one evening.\u00a0 It was parked out in front of her sorority house on the campus at the University of Tulsa, and I saw her car, and I was going around hanging up posters that were \"Vote for Bob Lepine for School Senate.\"\u00a0 You know, I was running for some office there at the university.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so I had my posters, and I had my masking tape, and I saw her car, and what I did was I took the masking tape, and I put masking tape all over the driver's side window, the front window of her car just on the driver's side \u2013 covered it from the top down to the bottom with masking tape.\u00a0 Then I took out my magic marker, and I wrote her a note on the masking tape.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Good idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Okay?\u00a0 And it said \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Very creative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\"Dear Mary Ann, I love you, say you love me or I'll die eventually.\"\u00a0 And then I signed it, \"Your friend, Bob Lepine.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0This was after you'd only been dating for how long?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Oh, we hadn't been dating yet.\u00a0 We just had kind of known one another for two or three weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That was pretty forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That is pretty forward, pretty bold, pretty stupid, right?\u00a0 See, I didn't know any better than that and, again, my definition of what love looks like had nothing to do with commitment, it just had to do with how I was feeling at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, most single people today, though, I think have the wrong picture of what love is.\u00a0 Love is equated with a feeling.\u00a0 It's commitment, but it's commitment with a small \"c\", not big \"C,\" and they don't understand that when you do tell someone you love them and you're committed to them, than at that point you're defining the relationship, and it's going in a certain direction.\u00a0 And it ultimately ends in marriage at the point when you really begin in earnest to truly love another person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And I've told my sons, and they're still young, but I've started early with them.\u00a0 I've said, \"Son, you never say 'I love you' to a girl until the next words are ready to be, 'Will you marry me?'\u00a0 If you can't follow up 'I love you' with 'Will you marry me?' you're not ready to say 'I love you,' because that's what it means to a young woman.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I think the Ephesians have the same problem here, Dennis.\u00a0 That's why I think Paul said, \"Husbands, love your wives,\" now wait a sec, \"as Christ loved the church.\"\u00a0 Did He have a lot of warm, gooey feelings about the church?\u00a0 You know, was it a sentimental, emotional thing for Him?\u00a0 No, Christ's love for the church was practical, it was sacrificial and, really, as you look at that whole expression, you see that he loved us in a full, complete sense, in a way that really redefines what love ought to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, the Bible is all about relationships and whether we're single, whether we're divorced, married, I believe every person can benefit from what we're going to talk about on the broadcast as we attempt to get our arms around love and understand from Scripture what it means to love another person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, the Bible, all the way from the Old Testament to the New Testament is filled with illustrations, living illustrations of love and how we are to love other people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Mm-hm, and one of those living illustrations is the Book of Hosea, which I think defines the first aspect of how Christ loves his church.\u00a0 Back to Ephesians 5:25, it says \"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.\"\u00a0 And then it goes on to say, \"and gave Himself up for her.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, we can get to the issue of sacrifice, but before Christ ever loved us sacrificially, He first loved us unconditionally, and that unconditional love \u2013 we talk about it at the FamilyLife Marriage Conference, it's receiving your mate as God's perfect provision for you without any conditions attached, without any strings attached, not based on her performance, not based on how she responds to you, it is loving her no matter what in spite of those things that may annoy you at times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And you look at the Book of Hosea, what a great illustration of that.\u00a0 I mean, God comes to Hosea and says, \"Take a wife.\u00a0 And, by the way, Hosea, this isn't going to be just any wife.\u00a0 Your wife is going to be a harlot.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, we don't know from the Book of Hosea whether his wife was a harlot before he married her or if she became a harlot after he married her.\u00a0 It's kind of ambiguous there.\u00a0 But, either way, God's assignment was keep loving her even when she rejects you, keep loving her even when she sins against you and against the marriage \u2013 never give up on her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And God was saying here, \"I'm going to make you, Hosea, a living illustration of my love for my people.\u00a0 I'm going to show everybody how I love you by the way I'm calling you to love Gomer, your wife.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so Hosea's wife goes off, and she commits adultery, and she is living the life of a prostitute, Hosea is home with the kids, she doesn't even come home at night, she's not at the house, she's just off doing her thing, and Hosea perseveres, and God comes to Hosea and says \u2013 \"She has made such a mess of her life that she is now in the slave market.\u00a0 She has squandered any money that she had.\u00a0 Her debts have gotten higher than her ability to generate income.\u00a0 She is now a slave.\u00a0 I want you to go buy her back.\u00a0 You pay money to buy her back.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And there had \u2013 the Bible doesn't record it, but Hosea had to have some thought \u2013 if he didn't verbalize it to God, he had to be thinking, \"Are you sure about this?\u00a0 After all we've been through, you want me to go love her?\u00a0 Couldn't I just start over with somebody else?\u00a0 Couldn't I find a good, godly, righteous woman who doesn't go out and do these things?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But God said, \"Go buy her back.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I had a guy call me, and he said, \"Are you saying that this example of Hosea, that this is what I'm supposed to do if my wife does the same thing?\"\u00a0 And I said, \"The story of Hosea does not teach us that this is what a husband must do if his wife goes off and commits adultery.\u00a0 It does teach us that the quality of love is that it should be unconditional, and that's the first quality of Christ's love for the church, and I think it's the first thing that a husband needs to do to love his wife.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And, you know, I don't have any research to back this up, but it sure seems to me, in a lot of single people's lives when they get married, near the top of God's agenda in the first year, maybe even the first weeks and months of their marriage, is to learn this lesson you're talking about \u2013 that love is unconditional, and yet most of us have loved as long as the other person does a certain thing.\u00a0 And yet I reflect back on my first weeks of marriage, and I remember, it's as though it were yesterday, I was facing this, it was frontal.\u00a0 I am called, as a man, to love Barbara even though. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And I don't know where I heard this, I heard some couple who used to walk around in their home, and they would say, \"Even though, even though, I love you even though, even though,\" and it made an impression on me because that kind of love, Bob, that's not an earthly kind of love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0No, that's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's a heavenly kind of love that God implants in the human heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0In fact, I would say that until your wife is unlovely, until she offends you, you haven't really loved her.\u00a0 It's the moment that your wife is no longer lovely, that's when you really start loving her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, Bob, and, you know, every woman listening to this broadcast right now wants to know that they're loved even when they're unlovely.\u00a0 That is a powerful desire of not just women, by the way, but certainly of a wife.\u00a0 I mean, she needs to be loved when she is unlovable, \"even though.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What's another aspect of love that we need to learn today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, if we look again at how does Christ love the church and say that's our model for how a husband ought to love his wife, and then I think the next thing after unconditional love is covenantal love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, wait a second, that's an awful big word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, it is a big word, but we've been talking a lot about the marriage covenant on our broadcast.\u00a0 When we talk about covenantal love, we're talking about declaring the unconditional love formally for everyone to hear all around us.\u00a0 It's a pledge that it's not just something that we'll do in the background, but we declare it to be the case.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Take, for example, Abraham.\u00a0 Abraham was called by God from Ur.\u00a0 God went to Abraham and said \"I want you to leave Ur, leave your family, and follow me, and I'll show you the place I'm going to take you.\"\u00a0 And Abraham responded to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But then there came a point where God appeared to Abraham, and he said, \"I'm going to make a covenant with you.\u00a0 I am going to bind myself to certain aspects of behavior.\u00a0 I'm going to bind myself to a promise that I will fulfill,\" and he spelled that out for Abraham in chapter 12 of Genesis, and then again in chapter 15 of Genesis.\u00a0 He had a covenantal ceremony, where he pledged himself to Abraham.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so a husband who unconditionally loves his wife still has to formalize that in a covenant relationship.\u00a0 That's what we do at the altar.\u00a0 We stand before God and before our wife, and we make a verbal pledge that we will love our wives unconditionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, I can hear a man asking right now, he's saying, \"Well, hey, Bob, I did that 20 years ago at the wedding altar.\u00a0 Is there something I'm missing here?\u00a0 What is it you're trying to drive home when you challenge me with the idea of covenantal love?\u00a0 Isn't that in place if I established that then?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, there are two things I'm trying to drive home.\u00a0 One is you probably didn't have a clue what you were saying back when you said it.\u00a0 So it's time to revisit that pledge \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, that's agreed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Understand what you need to be all about.\u00a0 But the second thing is, I don't think this is something we declare once, and it's over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Ah, good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I don't think the covenant is something that we just stand up and declare, and then it's done.\u00a0 How many times in your life would you estimate you have said the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You've probably said it thousands of times.\u00a0 Every day at the beginning of school, right, you stood up \u2013 and I can see an eighth grader who says, \"Hey, I said this yesterday.\u00a0 I don't need to say it again.\"\u00a0 But before every baseball game we stand back up, and we pledge allegiance to the flag, or we hear the Star-Spangled Banner, and I think husbands need to be regularly reminding their wives of their covenant for them.\u00a0 Not just acting it out but verbalizing it, because our wives need to hear, they need to know, they need to be told over and over again, \"I'm going to love you forever, I'll never stop loving you.\u00a0 I'm here, and you can count on that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0This morning when I had my quiet time, I was just thinking and praying and meditating on Scripture, and I was thinking about Barbara for some reason, I don't know why, but the Lord brought her to mind, and I haven't seen her since my quiet time, and what I'm going to do tonight when I get home is I'm going to take her in my arms, I'm going to hold her face in my hands, and I'm not just saying this, by the way, just because of what you were talking about here.\u00a0 I really have been thinking about doing this, and I'm going to say, \"You know what?\u00a0 You are a wonderful woman, and I'd marry you all over again, 10 times out of 10.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, has she ever heard you say that before?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, sure, and in fact she's heard me say \"I'd marry you all over again 10 times out of 10,\" I mean, I want to remove all doubt about the deal.\u00a0 I just was thinking about her, though, I was thinking, you know what?\u00a0 Our wives need to be cherished.\u00a0 They need to be cared for, and they need to be reminded of that.\u00a0 And I think that's your point that you're making here, is covenantal love is not silent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, some guys think because they said it 20 years ago, that it's still in effect until they revoke it.\u00a0 That doesn't do a lot for a woman.\u00a0 A woman needs to be reminded through verbal words, through written words, tender words, tender touch, maybe even carrying the garbage out \u2013 some household duties that would communicate to her that you love her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The other night on the deck, Bob, Barbara was working on sanding some chairs.\u00a0 Now, this is the way she relaxes.\u00a0 I'm sorry, sanding chairs, painting chairs, would not be one of the ways I would relax.\u00a0 I'd head to the woods or go fishing but not do that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I went out on the deck with her, and I helped her with those chairs and took a couple of screws out of a chair that needed some repairing, and she told me later, she said, \"You know, just you spending that time with me made a statement to me that you love me, and you care for me, and you want to be a part of what I'm doing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, and that taps into what is the third area of how Christ loves the church, because if we look not only is it unconditional, it's covenantal, but the third thing is it's incarnational.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, that's even a bigger word, Bob.\u00a0 \"Covenantal\" was big, but that's got a lot of syllables in it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\"Incarnational\" \u2013 in the first chapter of John's Gospel, he says \"Jesus became flesh, the Word became flesh and dwelt among us,\" and that's what it means to \"incarnate.\"\u00a0 It means to \"dwell among us.\"\u00a0 Literally, that passage means he pitched his tent right where we live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And for a husband to love his wife, one of the aspects of that needs to be incarnational love.\u00a0 That means you step out of your world and into her world, and you love her in her world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, let's talk about how that happens at the Lepine household.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You did it when you stepped out and helped sand those chairs on the deck.\u00a0 Mary Ann, one time, we were sitting in a Homebuilders Bible study, and the question we were going through in Homebuilders that night was \"What's the most romantic thing your mate's done for you recently?\"\u00a0 And I thought, \"Gee, what's Mary Ann going to come up with?\"\u00a0 You know, I started to flash through what have I done recently, I hope there's a good one here, I wanted to look good in front of crowd, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And it got to her turn, and she said, \"Well, I'll tell you, the other night Bob was watching the news on TV, and I was doing the dishes and without me saying anything, he turned off the TV and came in and started drying the dishes, and that was really romantic.\"\u00a0 And I thought \"Huh?\u00a0 That was romantic?\u00a0 Drying the dishes?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you said at that point, \"Give me a tea towel,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I asked her about that later \u2013 I said, \"You know, what was romantic about that?\"\u00a0 And she said, \"You just \u2013 you were in tune with where I was living.\u00a0 You stepped into my world, and you met me there.\"\u00a0 And, you see, that's the picture of Christ.\u00a0 He's got all of the benefits of heaven, and He sets them aside, and He comes to dwell among us as men.\u00a0 And the Bible says that He became a sympathetic high priest who knew the kinds of things that we're afflicted with and became like us in that regard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And a husband who really loves his wife, steps in and says, \"I need to understand your world. I need to understand what you're living with.\u00a0 I need to understand what it's like for you to be around kids all day, or what it's like for you to have friends who say cutting things about you, or what it's like for you to go through your day so that when I get home at the end of the day, and I step into your world physically, I can also step in emotionally and be there with you and help you and support you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And I'm going to tell you, every woman who has a man who steps into her world like that, and not with a clumsy feeling but with a tender side to him that says \"I want to understand.\u00a0 You know, I'm a man, I'm not a woman, but I really want to understand where your struggle is, I want to understand what your fears are.\u00a0 What are your dreams and your aspirations?\u00a0 What things are knocking your legs out from under you right now?\u00a0 What are you worrying about?\u00a0 What can I shoulder with you?\u00a0 What can I shoulder for you?\u00a0 What could I fix around the house?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Those kinds of things motivate a woman to do what she was designed to do, which was be a helpmate and be a support in the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'll tell you, the other day I left the house in the morning, and I could tell it had not started off as a good day for my wife.\u00a0 She was feeling pressure, she was frustrated, she was just not in a particularly good mood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And we had a little dialog before I left, and I was trying to see is there anything I can do?\u00a0 Am I the source of any of this, you know, and it was pretty obvious that this was something that was just on her heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So in the middle of the day I picked up the phone, and I called her, and I said, \"Honey, I'm just calling to tell you that I wish I could fix this.\u00a0 I can't.\u00a0 I know you're having a lousy day.\u00a0 I'm praying for \u2013 that's the only thing I know how to do, and I want you to know I spent some time praying for you this morning.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And she said, \"This is because you wrote that book, isn't it?\u00a0 It's all coming back out of there,\" and the Lord had just prompted me that morning.\u00a0 There's not anything you can do, but you can pray, and then I verbalized that to Mary Ann, and I think I was just trying to say to her, Dennis, \"I know what's going on in your world, and I'm here for you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, there's a fourth way a man can love his wife, but I'm feeling an urgent need right now to communicate to the men how they can get a copy of your book, because I think this would be a great book to give away to \u2013 well, your husband or your son, who may be married and maybe starting out a marriage and needs some good guidance.\u00a0 I want to promise you, this book, \"The Christian Husband,\" by Bob Lepine is a great book that's going to challenge him spiritually.\u00a0 I've got to tell you, this is not a featherweight book, this is not a lightweight.\u00a0 This is a heavy, theological book from the co-host of the broadcast here, Bob Lepine, and I want to encourage you to pick up a phone and call our 800 number or go to our website and maybe even write a little not in the front of it and just say, \"You know, I hope that God helps you to become all that He intended you to be as a husband.\"\u00a0 And then just sign it, \"Love, Mom,\" or \"Love, Dad.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But reach out and do something of permanence and significance that will enrich that loved one's marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, and as you might imagine, we've got copies of the book, \"The Christian Husband,\" in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and in the middle of the home page you'll see a red button that says \"Go,\" and if you click that red button, it will take you to an area of the site where there is more information about how you can get a copy of the book, \"The Christian Husband,\" sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, our website is FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 If it's easier, you can call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, and let us know if you'd like a copy of the book, \"The Christian Husband,\" and we're happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 1-800-FLTODAY is the number or online at FamilyLife.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, this week at FamilyLife, we want to ask you to consider doing something extraordinary.\u00a0 We want to ask you to consider becoming one of the few, the proud families in your community, families who help underwrite the financial costs of FamilyLife Today by becoming Legacy Partners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0These are folks who, each month, make a contribution to the ministry of FamilyLife Today to make sure it stays on the air not only in this city but in other cities all across the country and, as a Legacy Partner we stay in touch with you providing resources throughout the year to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\u00a0 And, in fact, if you'd like more information about what it means to become a Legacy Partners and how you can be a part of that program, go on our website at FamilyLife.com, and you'll see information on our home page about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 We hope you'll consider that and hope to hear from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, our website is FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can also call for more information at 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY and just say \"I want to know what it means to be a Legacy Partner, and we'll be happy to get you the information you need, and we appreciate you considering your financial support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow we're going to talk about why it's biblical for husbands to suffer long.\u00a0 That's what the Bible says is characteristic of love, and we'll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_____________________________________________________________-\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301512"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301512"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301512"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301512"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}