{"id":301502,"date":"2008-01-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/finding-the-potential-in-passion\/"},"modified":"2008-01-09T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-09T17:00:00","slug":"finding-the-potential-in-passion","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-the-potential-in-passion\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding the Potential in Passion"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What first attracted you to your spouse?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-01-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.17M","filesize_raw":"12760498","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10443,2863],"tags":[4035,4034],"podcast_series":[7559],"cwp_profile":[9111],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301502","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christian-marriage-counseling","category-saving-a-marriage","tag-first-year-of-marriage","tag-newlyweds","podcast_series-our-secret-paradise","cwp_profile-jimmy-and-karen-evans","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301502\/finding-the-potential-in-passion","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301502\/finding-the-potential-in-passion","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"lqVQWJCaap\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-the-potential-in-passion\/\">Finding the Potential in Passion<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-the-potential-in-passion\/embed\/#?secret=lqVQWJCaap\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding the Potential in Passion&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"lqVQWJCaap\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-01-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-01-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0You may not understand why those little things are great for a marriage, but for a woman it's just \u2013 it endears us to think that a man cares enough to go outside his macho world and just take a little walk, you know, or just sit and talk.\u00a0 It's just the idea of man paying attention; that they are actually in tune to me, even if it's a simple little thing like washing the dishes.\u00a0 You know, those are the things that fulfill something in a woman that our passion gets filled up so we want to fulfill the passion within our husbands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, January 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll talk today about the sparks that rekindle the romance in marriage.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know the passage in 2 Corinthians 4 where it talks about how we have this treasure, our relationship with Christ, the Gospel.\u00a0 We have it in, I think some versions say \"earthen vessels\" or in jars of clay.\u00a0 You really could say we have this treasure in cracked pots, don't you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Because I'm thinking we've got a couple of cracked pots with us today, that I thought I'd have you introduce to our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Hello, we're in the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Oh, yeah, they are here, right here with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0They're joining a couple of patched pots.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We're all patched pots, aren't we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy and Karen Evans join us again on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Jimmy, Karen, forgive Bob.\u00a0 Many guests have forgiven him, but welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy and Karen live in Dallas, they've been married for more than 34 years, coming up on 35, and Jimmy has been a pastor for more than 25 years, out in Amarillo, and we've talked about the steak house.\u00a0 Bob \u2013 have you ever stopped there?\u00a0 Have you ever stopped at the steak house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I've actually eaten at the Big Texan, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And did you try the big one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I didn't go for the 72-ouncer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0The 72-ounce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0No, I went for something smaller and cleaned my plate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy is also the president of \"Marriage Today,\" which is seen in most of the major markets around the country and Christian networks, and they've written a book called \"Our Secret Paradise,\" and we've been hearing a great story from their marriage of, really, unmet expectations, disappointment, despair, ultimately the breaking of wills, not just one but both.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And the patching of the pots.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And the patching of the pots.\u00a0 So once the pot is \u2013 you know, you get it patched, you've got to pour some passion in there, and that's one of the secrets you talk about in your book.\u00a0 How does passion get lost in a marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, you know, the big words, like in our ministry, a television ministry, when we use different words, and we get a reaction, the two biggest words that people react to in a positive way related to marriage is \"intimacy\" and \"passion.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Because when you get married, you want intimacy, you want to be close, but you want passion.\u00a0 The things that people really dread is when the marriage gets stale, and where it then is the honeymoon is over, and you are now stuck in a passionless marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The laws of marriage, first of all, God says, \"For this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother.\"\u00a0 That means you have to prioritize the relationship.\u00a0 But the second law of marriage found in Genesis 2:24, is \"A man shall cleave unto his wife.\"\u00a0 The word \"cleave\" there means to pursue with energy.\u00a0 And where, Dennis, you asked the question, \"What happens to the passion in marriage?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We fall in love because we pursue each other, we work at the relationship.\u00a0 It's not just accidental.\u00a0 No one falls in love with the guy working on the car in the garage and the woman watching \"Wheel of Fortune\" in the living room. That's just not how it happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Is you fall in love because you find things to do together, and you put energy into them.\u00a0 You talk, you work, you work on yourself, you look good, you act right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You add fuel to the fire and so the fire burns brighter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Exactly, and you fall in love, and then \u2013 then \u2013 once you fall in love, and you get to that place in the relationship where you feel as though you have secured the affection and devotion of the other person, we typically get lazy.\u00a0 We begin to take each other for granted.\u00a0 The things that got us there, we stop doing, and so we don't stay there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A lot of people think, \"If I marry the right person, the emotion should happen effortlessly and naturally for the rest of my life.\"\u00a0 We call it chemistry.\u00a0 If the chemistry is right, I'm just going to wake up every morning, look at you, and just say, \"Hallelujah, praise God, man, I'm telling, isn't this fantastic.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But if I don't have that reaction, and the emotions begin to get stale, especially when they're negative, there's something wrong.\u00a0 If we have to work at this thing, there's something wrong.\u00a0 But the law that God set forth in the beginning is marriages work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, I like the way you put that.\u00a0 We do get married thinking that marriage is this everlasting can of sterno, you know, you light it, it's just going to keep on burning forever.\u00a0 But if you've ever used sterno, that flame will go out, and whatever you're trying to keep warm will cool, and a marriage needs to \u2013 well, you used the word \"invest.\"\u00a0 You need to put the fuel into the fire.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you think this issue of passion, Karen, is something that women are as interested in pursuing as men are?\u00a0 Your husband used both intimacy and passion as the two words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I think women desire it more than men.\u00a0 Personally, I'm a relation person.\u00a0 I like relationship, and so to be intimate, but one of the things with Jimmy and I, it was pretty easy to communicate.\u00a0 We always communicate, and that's what connected us.\u00a0 But it takes a lot, though, to keep the passion going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Karen, define romance from a woman's dictionary.\u00a0 Because we know the man's dictionary defines it a little differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, romance, for a woman, is when a man \u2013 like, when Jimmy thinks about me, and he plans things without me having to say anything.\u00a0 When he goes outside of the norm, and he does things just out of his heart, and I'm not expecting it, that's romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I mean, you know, it's like \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Give me an illustration.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Okay, let's say, if he sent me flower for no reason \u2013 oh, my gosh, that's so romantic.\u00a0 You know, if \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So it's that simple?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, we're not complicated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Oh, I don't agree with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0We're not.\u00a0 I told you a million times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Could we vote on that here in the studio?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0It's just a simple thing, just remember.\u00a0 Ohhhhhhh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now you know it's three against one, you're in trouble here in the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Uh-huh, well, I'm trying to get it through your head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0The passion of the relationship \u2013 and women desire romance.\u00a0 I mean, there no doubt about it.\u00a0 But \u2013 and you were asking, \"What is the definition?\"\u00a0 Well, we both have different definitions, but the point is, Jesus said in Matthew 6, and this is the key of passion in marriage.\u00a0 We talk about it in the book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" the seeker of lasting passion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0He said, \"Wherever your treasure is, there will your heart be also.\"\u00a0 The word \"treasure,\" a lot of people think, \"Well, wherever my gold coins are.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Wherever my money is, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Where my money is.\u00a0 The word is actually \"thesaurus.\"\u00a0 It means wherever you deposit the treasures of your life, that's where your cardia will be \u2013 passion.\u00a0 The word \"cardia\" means your physical heart; it also means the seat of your passions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Jesus said wherever you're investing yourself, your passion will end up being there.\u00a0 Well, when we got married, we loved each other, and we fell in love when we were working at the relationship.\u00a0 Then I took my thesaurus and moved it from Karen to golf, and I went to work, and when I wasn't working, I was golfing.\u00a0 And I'm just telling you, I was a nut on the golf course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I was on the golf course, I was energetic, I was whooping and hollering, I was excited.\u00a0 When I went home, I just had no energy whatsoever.\u00a0 We had a passionless marriage.\u00a0 After several years \u2013 there's no trick to this.\u00a0 Jesus said, \"Wherever you are investing yourself, your passion is always going to be there.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And so you can invest and not have a lot of feelings?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0If you're investing in your marriage, there are two laws \u2013 sowing and reaping.\u00a0 You reap what you sow, you also reap where you sow.\u00a0 If you're sowing in work, you're going to have passion in your work.\u00a0 If you're sowing in your children, you're going to have passion with your children.\u00a0 But if you sow in your children, it doesn't translate to marriage.\u00a0 If you're sowing on the golf course, it doesn't translate to your marriage.\u00a0 You have to sow in your marriage, and wherever your treasure is, your passion is going to be there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What healed our marriage is when I hung up my golf clubs for several years, and I told Karen, because, you know, we were on the brink of breaking up and our marriage failing, and I said, \"Whatever it takes, I'll do,\" and I hung up my golf clubs, and I took the energy that I was investing on the golf course, and began to invest it back into Karen.\u00a0 It didn't heal our marriage overnight, but within a matter of weeks, we began to see resurrected passion.\u00a0 Within a matter of months, we were more in love than we'd ever been before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So there's hope for a person listening right now, and they just think, \"I'm trapped in this nothing marriage,\" and whatever \u2013 you may have become lazy, you're taking each other for granted.\u00a0 When you being \u2013 regardless of your feelings, and you just make your mind up, I'm going to so seed in the soil of my spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Jesus said it \u2013 \"Wherever your treasure is, your passion is going to be there,\" and what happens is resurrected love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you remember back to that time five years into your marriage when you hung up your golf clubs; do you remember specific ways you began to make deposits?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Was it flowers, like she's asking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, it really wasn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I remember flowers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, I probably sent flowers, but the thing I remember is the next morning when I woke up after I told her that I was sorry and committed to the marriage is I didn't know what to do.\u00a0 I just \u2013 I had never done it.\u00a0 I was a terrible husband, and so I was just praying, \"God help.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The things that I remember doing was talking nice to her, and stopped yelling at her.\u00a0 The other thing I remember doing is spending time with her.\u00a0 Karen would ask me \u2013 I would come in, and she would say, \"Can we go for a walk?\"\u00a0 And I would say, \"Karen, I'm tired,\" you know, and back then I smoked.\u00a0 And if I ran out of cigarettes, I'd walk on my knees for 10 miles to go get cigarettes, but I would not get up for my wife and sometimes even for my children just to do the most basic things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What I remember doing were the basic things \u2013 we went on walks, we talked, I started treating her more kindly, I'd call her during the day, and then just simply being home with her and helping around the house.\u00a0 Those things are the things that turned our marriage around, as simple as they seem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, that doesn't sound to me like as much as playing golf.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You're just being honest, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm being honest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Some of our listeners just went, \"Now, wait a second.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm just going, \"Okay, walking with my wife and saying nice things versus playing golf.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I've seen you play golf, Bob.\u00a0 I think you need to pick the walk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, you're right about that.\u00a0 I'd give it up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, you know something?\u00a0 It wasn't when I was playing golf with my friends and, you know, having great times on the golf course, and I would come home, and we fought all the time and our marriage was terrible \u2013 that's exactly what I thought, is that I would rather be out here with them because when I go home I get it.\u00a0 You know, she gives me a dirty look, and we get in a fight.\u00a0 I'd rather be on the golf course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But, again, wherever your treasure is, that's where your passion will be, and so you don't just reap what you sow, you reap where you sow.\u00a0 So what happened was when I stopped investing on the golf course \u2013 this is the conflict, Bob, exactly what you said \u2013 a guy goes to work, and he's investing at work, he's great at it, he's diligent there, he's having success, and he's sharing that success with fellow employees.\u00a0 There's a bond, there's a chemistry, there's excitement, and he goes home, and his wife says, \"Why didn't you come from work?\u00a0 Why are you at work all the time?\u00a0 Why don't you talk to me the way you talk to your friends at work, why don't you do this?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Immediately, there's a negative at home, there's a positive over here, and you're conflicted because I'm reaping over here.\u00a0 The point is this \u2013 the only thing that helps my marriage is a focused, prioritized, investment of myself, not money, though it's important to be a provider \u2013 if I don't give of myself, the passion is never going to be in that marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Karen, if you were going to invest in your marriage, if you were going to invest in Jimmy today, what would you do?\u00a0 He talked about spending time with you and going on walks and being home and saying sweet things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, I'm sorry I had to say this, but he says this in the book, \"Just a lot of sex.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, why are you sorry you have to say that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Why do you think I married her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I mean, seriously, that's what makes him happy, it's what makes most guys happy, so I \u2013 but, you know, that and just honoring him, I mean, making him feel as special as he does when he gets honored by people in the ministry or the church or, you know, he's recognized for who he is because he writes a book or being on TV, you know, he needs to know that at home, that I appreciate him, and I think he's just as wonderful as the people out there in the world, and so, you know, it's kind of like this\u2013 you know, what you need and what you want is not necessarily what he wants.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so, for me, of course, being a woman, we want romance.\u00a0 Well, he doesn't need romance.\u00a0 You know, it's just good sex, and then, you know, talking nice to him.\u00a0 I mean, you know, just honoring him, respecting him, and building him up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So you know how I asked him, you know, golf sounds like more fun than going on walks with you and talking to you \u2013 does other stuff sound like more fun to you than talking sweet to him and having sex?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, I've got to tell you this story.\u00a0 I was taking to Barbara the other night, and we were kind of planning out a few days, and I said, \"You know what I'd like to do?\"\u00a0 And then I described an evening.\u00a0 And, in my mind \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It was the perfect evening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It was a romantic evening, and she looked back at me \u2013 I will never forget this look \u2013 she goes, \"That's not romantic.\"\u00a0 Boom!\u00a0 It was like this great romantic myth \u2013 phhhhhffft \u2013 evaporated just like that, and it's the very thing you're talking about.\u00a0 A lot of other things sound more romantic to you as a woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0There's a lot of men, though, just moved real close to the radio.\u00a0 They just turned it up a little bit louder.\u00a0 They're going, \"How can I help my wife get that?\"\u00a0 You've been saying that the men don't get the understanding of their wives and what they need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, I can tell you this \u2013 if a woman \u2013 a woman has more power than she thinks she does, and it's real simple with a man.\u00a0 I say I'm not complex, but you're real simple, Jimmy.\u00a0 And, you know, really and seriously, if a woman's passion, if her heart really is into making \u2013 it's just like when you're dating.\u00a0 You know, how you have that passion and all those feelings, and you can't keep your hands off each other, and that's where you're wanting to go is sex, but if you're trying to stay pure, you don't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It doesn't change for the man.\u00a0 The man always has that drive and always has that need, and it took years for me to figure that out.\u00a0 I thought, you know, he's just like an ongoing chemistry bank you can't fill up.\u00a0 It's like unbelievable.\u00a0 And so \u2013 but he would \u2013 finally, I realized, this is something that a man absolutely has to have.\u00a0 I mean, it's like, it's foreign to my thinking just like it is for a man to think, \"I'm happy with flowers and walk.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's foreign to a woman's thinking that sex just \u2013 have the sex \u2013 just get naked and have sex, they're happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, a lot of people are constantly \u2013 what I say is, a lot of people take the energy that God gave them to love each other to try to change each other, and we look at each other and say, \"You don't have my needs, so you can't be normal.\"\u00a0 And so women don't have the same sexual need that men do, typically, or the need for honor.\u00a0 Men don't have the same need for non-sexual affection and for in-depth communication and things like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But when you validate your spouse's needs, and you meet those needs, and you invest in them, it's the most passionate relationship in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0You know, if a man will do those simple things for a woman, he will have great sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0It helps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Because it's like you may not understand why those little things are great for a marriage, but, for a woman, it's just \u2013 it endears us, it endears us to think that a man cares enough to go outside his macho world and just take a little walk, you know, or just sit and talk.\u00a0 You know, those are the things that fulfill something in a woman that wants \u2013 our passion gets filled up so we want to fulfill the passion within our husbands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, it seems like anytime we get on this subject anymore, we have to acknowledge that there are a lot of wives listening who are going, \"I know that may be typical for a lot of men,\" but you're hearing this more and more from women who say \"My husband does not seem to be typical.\"\u00a0 What do you think is going on there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, in the book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" I talk about the secret of ultimate sexual fulfillment, and when people see that title, and it's one of the session in our seminars, it's like, \"Oh, my gosh, tell me and\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 \"skip the rest of this book, let's go to that chapter right now.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Exactly, it's a servant spirit.\u00a0 It's the secret of ultimate sexual fulfillment is the servant spirit, because a servant lives to please someone else.\u00a0 In sexuality in marriage, rarely do you have the same desire at the same time, and men peak sexually at about 20 years old.\u00a0 Women peak at about 40 years old sexually.\u00a0 We're made up different sexually.\u00a0 Men are very visual, we're very physical, women are more emotional in the way that they respond.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you're waiting to have the same need as your spouse has, you're just going to be waiting for a long time and be very frustrated.\u00a0 The secret of ultimate sexual fulfillment is to live with a person who loves to please somebody else.\u00a0 That's a servant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Jesus, remember, said the servant is the greatest of all, and so in marriage if a man does not have as high of sexuality or libido as his wife does, he needs to meet her needs.\u00a0 It doesn't matter.\u00a0 And I get a little bit maybe frustrated or even self-righteous when I answer the question because if it's a woman or if it's a man, you serve your spouse.\u00a0 You meet their needs, rather than just standing back saying, \"Well, honey, I don't want to because I just don't\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\"I don't feel it right now.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, whatever, whatever.\u00a0 You know, you get married and part of being married is taking responsibility for the needs of another person.\u00a0 If we could meet our own needs, we wouldn't get married.\u00a0 But we get married because we need a person to meet certain needs for us.\u00a0 Sexuality is at the center of our being, men and women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is why Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, that \"you're not to be apart from one another unless it's by mutual consent for a period, and then come back together.\"\u00a0 He expects it to be a marital discipline, doesn't he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0He does, and in the process, what we have to do is, as we've been talking about, keep investing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I'd just like you to pray for the couples who are listening to us who maybe they do have three or four wheels off in a ditch, and they're in trouble, and they're in need of the kind of redemption we talked about much earlier that you experience.\u00a0 But God does reach down and touch us in our point of need if we'll humble ourselves.\u00a0 That's what you guys did.\u00a0 So would you mind praying for those couples right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0You bet, you bet.\u00a0 Father, we just thank you today in Jesus' name that you are a Redeemer and Your nature is not to reject broken things but to fix them.\u00a0 And, Lord, right now we just pray for every man, every woman, every couple listening right now and they're discouraged maybe even hopeless in dealing with very serious issues in their marriage.\u00a0 Lord, right now, we pray that You would just intervene in their circumstances, that You would work in their hearts to give them hope and to help them to have the grace and encouragement to try again and to do different things than maybe they've done before, but in this area of passion, for them to begin to invest in their marriage.\u00a0 Not that there is anything wrong with their children or work or anything else, but if they've taken each other for granted and stopped investing in the marriage, Lord, we pray right now for husbands to turn their hearts back home and toward their wives.\u00a0 For women, for wives, to turn their hearts back to their husbands and begin to invest in them again the way they once did in the relationship.\u00a0 But we pray for miracles and healing to occur in marriages all across America right now in Jesus' name, amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Amen.\u00a0 And, Jimmy, I want to thank you for your ministry and, Karen, thanks for coming and joining us and for being real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Thank you, it was really fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And sharing your story here with our listeners.\u00a0 I hope a lot of folks, Bob, are going to take advantage of their book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" and maybe turn on the Christian network and watch their television program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 In fact, we've got a link on our website at FamilyLife.com to Jimmy and Karen's website, and so if you'd like to find out more about their television program or about other books that they've written, you can go to our website, FamilyLife.com, click the red \"Go\" button you see in the middle of the screen.\u00a0 That will take you to an area of the site where there is not only information about their book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" but also a link to their website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can order a copy of the book from us online at FamilyLife.com or you can call us at 1-800-FLTODAY for more information about how you can have a copy of this book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Let me also encourage you, when you get in touch with us, get more information about our spring season of FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences, they kick off here in a few weeks, and we're going to be in dozens of cities all across the country.\u00a0 This week and next week, if you contact us to make a reservation for one of these upcoming conferences, you can save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee just by identifying yourself as a radio listener.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You go to our website, FamilyLife.com, you can get all the information about when the conference is coming to a city near where you live or what weekend looks good for you, and if you'd like to travel to a different city to attend one of these conferences, you can do that.\u00a0 Or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY with any questions you have.\u00a0 Someone can answer those for you, and then you can either register online, or you can register by phone.\u00a0 And if you're registering online, you'll come to a keycode box on the registration form.\u00a0 Just type my name in there, type \"Bob,\" and that way they'll know you're a radio listener, and we'll extend to you the special offer \u2013 $60 per couple off the regular registration fee for an upcoming Weekend to Remember conference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you call 1-800-FLTODAY and register over the phone, just say, \"I'm a friend of Bob.\u00a0 I listen to FamilyLife Today.\"\u00a0 And we'll make that same special offer available to you over the phone.\u00a0 But, again, it's good just this week and next week, and some of these conferences are starting to fill up already, so I would encourage you to either go online and register or call to register as soon as you possibly can.\u00a0 Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY, or you can register online at FamilyLife.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow we want to talk about what happens when you marry a really nice guy, and things go wrong.\u00a0 That can happen, and Paul and Sandy Coughlin are going to be with us tomorrow to talk about that.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t________________________________________________________________-\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["12.17M"],"filesize_raw":["12760498"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301502.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301502.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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first attracted you to your spouse?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-01-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0You may not understand why those little things are great for a marriage, but for a woman it's just \u2013 it endears us to think that a man cares enough to go outside his macho world and just take a little walk, you know, or just sit and talk.\u00a0 It's just the idea of man paying attention; that they are actually in tune to me, even if it's a simple little thing like washing the dishes.\u00a0 You know, those are the things that fulfill something in a woman that our passion gets filled up so we want to fulfill the passion within our husbands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, January 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll talk today about the sparks that rekindle the romance in marriage.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know the passage in 2 Corinthians 4 where it talks about how we have this treasure, our relationship with Christ, the Gospel.\u00a0 We have it in, I think some versions say \"earthen vessels\" or in jars of clay.\u00a0 You really could say we have this treasure in cracked pots, don't you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Because I'm thinking we've got a couple of cracked pots with us today, that I thought I'd have you introduce to our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Hello, we're in the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Oh, yeah, they are here, right here with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0They're joining a couple of patched pots.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We're all patched pots, aren't we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy and Karen Evans join us again on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Jimmy, Karen, forgive Bob.\u00a0 Many guests have forgiven him, but welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy and Karen live in Dallas, they've been married for more than 34 years, coming up on 35, and Jimmy has been a pastor for more than 25 years, out in Amarillo, and we've talked about the steak house.\u00a0 Bob \u2013 have you ever stopped there?\u00a0 Have you ever stopped at the steak house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I've actually eaten at the Big Texan, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And did you try the big one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I didn't go for the 72-ouncer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0The 72-ounce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0No, I went for something smaller and cleaned my plate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy is also the president of \"Marriage Today,\" which is seen in most of the major markets around the country and Christian networks, and they've written a book called \"Our Secret Paradise,\" and we've been hearing a great story from their marriage of, really, unmet expectations, disappointment, despair, ultimately the breaking of wills, not just one but both.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And the patching of the pots.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And the patching of the pots.\u00a0 So once the pot is \u2013 you know, you get it patched, you've got to pour some passion in there, and that's one of the secrets you talk about in your book.\u00a0 How does passion get lost in a marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, you know, the big words, like in our ministry, a television ministry, when we use different words, and we get a reaction, the two biggest words that people react to in a positive way related to marriage is \"intimacy\" and \"passion.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Because when you get married, you want intimacy, you want to be close, but you want passion.\u00a0 The things that people really dread is when the marriage gets stale, and where it then is the honeymoon is over, and you are now stuck in a passionless marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The laws of marriage, first of all, God says, \"For this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother.\"\u00a0 That means you have to prioritize the relationship.\u00a0 But the second law of marriage found in Genesis 2:24, is \"A man shall cleave unto his wife.\"\u00a0 The word \"cleave\" there means to pursue with energy.\u00a0 And where, Dennis, you asked the question, \"What happens to the passion in marriage?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We fall in love because we pursue each other, we work at the relationship.\u00a0 It's not just accidental.\u00a0 No one falls in love with the guy working on the car in the garage and the woman watching \"Wheel of Fortune\" in the living room. That's just not how it happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Is you fall in love because you find things to do together, and you put energy into them.\u00a0 You talk, you work, you work on yourself, you look good, you act right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You add fuel to the fire and so the fire burns brighter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Exactly, and you fall in love, and then \u2013 then \u2013 once you fall in love, and you get to that place in the relationship where you feel as though you have secured the affection and devotion of the other person, we typically get lazy.\u00a0 We begin to take each other for granted.\u00a0 The things that got us there, we stop doing, and so we don't stay there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A lot of people think, \"If I marry the right person, the emotion should happen effortlessly and naturally for the rest of my life.\"\u00a0 We call it chemistry.\u00a0 If the chemistry is right, I'm just going to wake up every morning, look at you, and just say, \"Hallelujah, praise God, man, I'm telling, isn't this fantastic.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But if I don't have that reaction, and the emotions begin to get stale, especially when they're negative, there's something wrong.\u00a0 If we have to work at this thing, there's something wrong.\u00a0 But the law that God set forth in the beginning is marriages work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, I like the way you put that.\u00a0 We do get married thinking that marriage is this everlasting can of sterno, you know, you light it, it's just going to keep on burning forever.\u00a0 But if you've ever used sterno, that flame will go out, and whatever you're trying to keep warm will cool, and a marriage needs to \u2013 well, you used the word \"invest.\"\u00a0 You need to put the fuel into the fire.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you think this issue of passion, Karen, is something that women are as interested in pursuing as men are?\u00a0 Your husband used both intimacy and passion as the two words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I think women desire it more than men.\u00a0 Personally, I'm a relation person.\u00a0 I like relationship, and so to be intimate, but one of the things with Jimmy and I, it was pretty easy to communicate.\u00a0 We always communicate, and that's what connected us.\u00a0 But it takes a lot, though, to keep the passion going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Karen, define romance from a woman's dictionary.\u00a0 Because we know the man's dictionary defines it a little differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, romance, for a woman, is when a man \u2013 like, when Jimmy thinks about me, and he plans things without me having to say anything.\u00a0 When he goes outside of the norm, and he does things just out of his heart, and I'm not expecting it, that's romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I mean, you know, it's like \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Give me an illustration.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Okay, let's say, if he sent me flower for no reason \u2013 oh, my gosh, that's so romantic.\u00a0 You know, if \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So it's that simple?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, we're not complicated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Oh, I don't agree with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0We're not.\u00a0 I told you a million times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Could we vote on that here in the studio?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0It's just a simple thing, just remember.\u00a0 Ohhhhhhh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now you know it's three against one, you're in trouble here in the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Uh-huh, well, I'm trying to get it through your head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0The passion of the relationship \u2013 and women desire romance.\u00a0 I mean, there no doubt about it.\u00a0 But \u2013 and you were asking, \"What is the definition?\"\u00a0 Well, we both have different definitions, but the point is, Jesus said in Matthew 6, and this is the key of passion in marriage.\u00a0 We talk about it in the book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" the seeker of lasting passion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0He said, \"Wherever your treasure is, there will your heart be also.\"\u00a0 The word \"treasure,\" a lot of people think, \"Well, wherever my gold coins are.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Wherever my money is, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Where my money is.\u00a0 The word is actually \"thesaurus.\"\u00a0 It means wherever you deposit the treasures of your life, that's where your cardia will be \u2013 passion.\u00a0 The word \"cardia\" means your physical heart; it also means the seat of your passions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Jesus said wherever you're investing yourself, your passion will end up being there.\u00a0 Well, when we got married, we loved each other, and we fell in love when we were working at the relationship.\u00a0 Then I took my thesaurus and moved it from Karen to golf, and I went to work, and when I wasn't working, I was golfing.\u00a0 And I'm just telling you, I was a nut on the golf course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I was on the golf course, I was energetic, I was whooping and hollering, I was excited.\u00a0 When I went home, I just had no energy whatsoever.\u00a0 We had a passionless marriage.\u00a0 After several years \u2013 there's no trick to this.\u00a0 Jesus said, \"Wherever you are investing yourself, your passion is always going to be there.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And so you can invest and not have a lot of feelings?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0If you're investing in your marriage, there are two laws \u2013 sowing and reaping.\u00a0 You reap what you sow, you also reap where you sow.\u00a0 If you're sowing in work, you're going to have passion in your work.\u00a0 If you're sowing in your children, you're going to have passion with your children.\u00a0 But if you sow in your children, it doesn't translate to marriage.\u00a0 If you're sowing on the golf course, it doesn't translate to your marriage.\u00a0 You have to sow in your marriage, and wherever your treasure is, your passion is going to be there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What healed our marriage is when I hung up my golf clubs for several years, and I told Karen, because, you know, we were on the brink of breaking up and our marriage failing, and I said, \"Whatever it takes, I'll do,\" and I hung up my golf clubs, and I took the energy that I was investing on the golf course, and began to invest it back into Karen.\u00a0 It didn't heal our marriage overnight, but within a matter of weeks, we began to see resurrected passion.\u00a0 Within a matter of months, we were more in love than we'd ever been before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So there's hope for a person listening right now, and they just think, \"I'm trapped in this nothing marriage,\" and whatever \u2013 you may have become lazy, you're taking each other for granted.\u00a0 When you being \u2013 regardless of your feelings, and you just make your mind up, I'm going to so seed in the soil of my spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Jesus said it \u2013 \"Wherever your treasure is, your passion is going to be there,\" and what happens is resurrected love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you remember back to that time five years into your marriage when you hung up your golf clubs; do you remember specific ways you began to make deposits?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Was it flowers, like she's asking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, it really wasn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I remember flowers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, I probably sent flowers, but the thing I remember is the next morning when I woke up after I told her that I was sorry and committed to the marriage is I didn't know what to do.\u00a0 I just \u2013 I had never done it.\u00a0 I was a terrible husband, and so I was just praying, \"God help.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The things that I remember doing was talking nice to her, and stopped yelling at her.\u00a0 The other thing I remember doing is spending time with her.\u00a0 Karen would ask me \u2013 I would come in, and she would say, \"Can we go for a walk?\"\u00a0 And I would say, \"Karen, I'm tired,\" you know, and back then I smoked.\u00a0 And if I ran out of cigarettes, I'd walk on my knees for 10 miles to go get cigarettes, but I would not get up for my wife and sometimes even for my children just to do the most basic things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What I remember doing were the basic things \u2013 we went on walks, we talked, I started treating her more kindly, I'd call her during the day, and then just simply being home with her and helping around the house.\u00a0 Those things are the things that turned our marriage around, as simple as they seem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, that doesn't sound to me like as much as playing golf.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You're just being honest, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm being honest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Some of our listeners just went, \"Now, wait a second.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm just going, \"Okay, walking with my wife and saying nice things versus playing golf.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I've seen you play golf, Bob.\u00a0 I think you need to pick the walk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, you're right about that.\u00a0 I'd give it up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, you know something?\u00a0 It wasn't when I was playing golf with my friends and, you know, having great times on the golf course, and I would come home, and we fought all the time and our marriage was terrible \u2013 that's exactly what I thought, is that I would rather be out here with them because when I go home I get it.\u00a0 You know, she gives me a dirty look, and we get in a fight.\u00a0 I'd rather be on the golf course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But, again, wherever your treasure is, that's where your passion will be, and so you don't just reap what you sow, you reap where you sow.\u00a0 So what happened was when I stopped investing on the golf course \u2013 this is the conflict, Bob, exactly what you said \u2013 a guy goes to work, and he's investing at work, he's great at it, he's diligent there, he's having success, and he's sharing that success with fellow employees.\u00a0 There's a bond, there's a chemistry, there's excitement, and he goes home, and his wife says, \"Why didn't you come from work?\u00a0 Why are you at work all the time?\u00a0 Why don't you talk to me the way you talk to your friends at work, why don't you do this?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Immediately, there's a negative at home, there's a positive over here, and you're conflicted because I'm reaping over here.\u00a0 The point is this \u2013 the only thing that helps my marriage is a focused, prioritized, investment of myself, not money, though it's important to be a provider \u2013 if I don't give of myself, the passion is never going to be in that marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Karen, if you were going to invest in your marriage, if you were going to invest in Jimmy today, what would you do?\u00a0 He talked about spending time with you and going on walks and being home and saying sweet things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, I'm sorry I had to say this, but he says this in the book, \"Just a lot of sex.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, why are you sorry you have to say that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Why do you think I married her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I mean, seriously, that's what makes him happy, it's what makes most guys happy, so I \u2013 but, you know, that and just honoring him, I mean, making him feel as special as he does when he gets honored by people in the ministry or the church or, you know, he's recognized for who he is because he writes a book or being on TV, you know, he needs to know that at home, that I appreciate him, and I think he's just as wonderful as the people out there in the world, and so, you know, it's kind of like this\u2013 you know, what you need and what you want is not necessarily what he wants.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so, for me, of course, being a woman, we want romance.\u00a0 Well, he doesn't need romance.\u00a0 You know, it's just good sex, and then, you know, talking nice to him.\u00a0 I mean, you know, just honoring him, respecting him, and building him up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So you know how I asked him, you know, golf sounds like more fun than going on walks with you and talking to you \u2013 does other stuff sound like more fun to you than talking sweet to him and having sex?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, I've got to tell you this story.\u00a0 I was taking to Barbara the other night, and we were kind of planning out a few days, and I said, \"You know what I'd like to do?\"\u00a0 And then I described an evening.\u00a0 And, in my mind \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It was the perfect evening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It was a romantic evening, and she looked back at me \u2013 I will never forget this look \u2013 she goes, \"That's not romantic.\"\u00a0 Boom!\u00a0 It was like this great romantic myth \u2013 phhhhhffft \u2013 evaporated just like that, and it's the very thing you're talking about.\u00a0 A lot of other things sound more romantic to you as a woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0There's a lot of men, though, just moved real close to the radio.\u00a0 They just turned it up a little bit louder.\u00a0 They're going, \"How can I help my wife get that?\"\u00a0 You've been saying that the men don't get the understanding of their wives and what they need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, I can tell you this \u2013 if a woman \u2013 a woman has more power than she thinks she does, and it's real simple with a man.\u00a0 I say I'm not complex, but you're real simple, Jimmy.\u00a0 And, you know, really and seriously, if a woman's passion, if her heart really is into making \u2013 it's just like when you're dating.\u00a0 You know, how you have that passion and all those feelings, and you can't keep your hands off each other, and that's where you're wanting to go is sex, but if you're trying to stay pure, you don't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It doesn't change for the man.\u00a0 The man always has that drive and always has that need, and it took years for me to figure that out.\u00a0 I thought, you know, he's just like an ongoing chemistry bank you can't fill up.\u00a0 It's like unbelievable.\u00a0 And so \u2013 but he would \u2013 finally, I realized, this is something that a man absolutely has to have.\u00a0 I mean, it's like, it's foreign to my thinking just like it is for a man to think, \"I'm happy with flowers and walk.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's foreign to a woman's thinking that sex just \u2013 have the sex \u2013 just get naked and have sex, they're happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, a lot of people are constantly \u2013 what I say is, a lot of people take the energy that God gave them to love each other to try to change each other, and we look at each other and say, \"You don't have my needs, so you can't be normal.\"\u00a0 And so women don't have the same sexual need that men do, typically, or the need for honor.\u00a0 Men don't have the same need for non-sexual affection and for in-depth communication and things like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But when you validate your spouse's needs, and you meet those needs, and you invest in them, it's the most passionate relationship in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0You know, if a man will do those simple things for a woman, he will have great sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0It helps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Because it's like you may not understand why those little things are great for a marriage, but, for a woman, it's just \u2013 it endears us, it endears us to think that a man cares enough to go outside his macho world and just take a little walk, you know, or just sit and talk.\u00a0 You know, those are the things that fulfill something in a woman that wants \u2013 our passion gets filled up so we want to fulfill the passion within our husbands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, it seems like anytime we get on this subject anymore, we have to acknowledge that there are a lot of wives listening who are going, \"I know that may be typical for a lot of men,\" but you're hearing this more and more from women who say \"My husband does not seem to be typical.\"\u00a0 What do you think is going on there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, in the book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" I talk about the secret of ultimate sexual fulfillment, and when people see that title, and it's one of the session in our seminars, it's like, \"Oh, my gosh, tell me and\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 \"skip the rest of this book, let's go to that chapter right now.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Exactly, it's a servant spirit.\u00a0 It's the secret of ultimate sexual fulfillment is the servant spirit, because a servant lives to please someone else.\u00a0 In sexuality in marriage, rarely do you have the same desire at the same time, and men peak sexually at about 20 years old.\u00a0 Women peak at about 40 years old sexually.\u00a0 We're made up different sexually.\u00a0 Men are very visual, we're very physical, women are more emotional in the way that they respond.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you're waiting to have the same need as your spouse has, you're just going to be waiting for a long time and be very frustrated.\u00a0 The secret of ultimate sexual fulfillment is to live with a person who loves to please somebody else.\u00a0 That's a servant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Jesus, remember, said the servant is the greatest of all, and so in marriage if a man does not have as high of sexuality or libido as his wife does, he needs to meet her needs.\u00a0 It doesn't matter.\u00a0 And I get a little bit maybe frustrated or even self-righteous when I answer the question because if it's a woman or if it's a man, you serve your spouse.\u00a0 You meet their needs, rather than just standing back saying, \"Well, honey, I don't want to because I just don't\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\"I don't feel it right now.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Well, whatever, whatever.\u00a0 You know, you get married and part of being married is taking responsibility for the needs of another person.\u00a0 If we could meet our own needs, we wouldn't get married.\u00a0 But we get married because we need a person to meet certain needs for us.\u00a0 Sexuality is at the center of our being, men and women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is why Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, that \"you're not to be apart from one another unless it's by mutual consent for a period, and then come back together.\"\u00a0 He expects it to be a marital discipline, doesn't he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0He does, and in the process, what we have to do is, as we've been talking about, keep investing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I'd just like you to pray for the couples who are listening to us who maybe they do have three or four wheels off in a ditch, and they're in trouble, and they're in need of the kind of redemption we talked about much earlier that you experience.\u00a0 But God does reach down and touch us in our point of need if we'll humble ourselves.\u00a0 That's what you guys did.\u00a0 So would you mind praying for those couples right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0You bet, you bet.\u00a0 Father, we just thank you today in Jesus' name that you are a Redeemer and Your nature is not to reject broken things but to fix them.\u00a0 And, Lord, right now we just pray for every man, every woman, every couple listening right now and they're discouraged maybe even hopeless in dealing with very serious issues in their marriage.\u00a0 Lord, right now, we pray that You would just intervene in their circumstances, that You would work in their hearts to give them hope and to help them to have the grace and encouragement to try again and to do different things than maybe they've done before, but in this area of passion, for them to begin to invest in their marriage.\u00a0 Not that there is anything wrong with their children or work or anything else, but if they've taken each other for granted and stopped investing in the marriage, Lord, we pray right now for husbands to turn their hearts back home and toward their wives.\u00a0 For women, for wives, to turn their hearts back to their husbands and begin to invest in them again the way they once did in the relationship.\u00a0 But we pray for miracles and healing to occur in marriages all across America right now in Jesus' name, amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Amen.\u00a0 And, Jimmy, I want to thank you for your ministry and, Karen, thanks for coming and joining us and for being real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Thank you, it was really fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And sharing your story here with our listeners.\u00a0 I hope a lot of folks, Bob, are going to take advantage of their book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" and maybe turn on the Christian network and watch their television program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 In fact, we've got a link on our website at FamilyLife.com to Jimmy and Karen's website, and so if you'd like to find out more about their television program or about other books that they've written, you can go to our website, FamilyLife.com, click the red \"Go\" button you see in the middle of the screen.\u00a0 That will take you to an area of the site where there is not only information about their book, \"Our Secret Paradise,\" but also a link to their website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can order a copy of the book from us online at FamilyLife.com or you can call us at 1-800-FLTODAY for more information about how you can have a copy of this book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Let me also encourage you, when you get in touch with us, get more information about our spring season of FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences, they kick off here in a few weeks, and we're going to be in dozens of cities all across the country.\u00a0 This week and next week, if you contact us to make a reservation for one of these upcoming conferences, you can save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee just by identifying yourself as a radio listener.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You go to our website, FamilyLife.com, you can get all the information about when the conference is coming to a city near where you live or what weekend looks good for you, and if you'd like to travel to a different city to attend one of these conferences, you can do that.\u00a0 Or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY with any questions you have.\u00a0 Someone can answer those for you, and then you can either register online, or you can register by phone.\u00a0 And if you're registering online, you'll come to a keycode box on the registration form.\u00a0 Just type my name in there, type \"Bob,\" and that way they'll know you're a radio listener, and we'll extend to you the special offer \u2013 $60 per couple off the regular registration fee for an upcoming Weekend to Remember conference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you call 1-800-FLTODAY and register over the phone, just say, \"I'm a friend of Bob.\u00a0 I listen to FamilyLife Today.\"\u00a0 And we'll make that same special offer available to you over the phone.\u00a0 But, again, it's good just this week and next week, and some of these conferences are starting to fill up already, so I would encourage you to either go online and register or call to register as soon as you possibly can.\u00a0 Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY, or you can register online at FamilyLife.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow we want to talk about what happens when you marry a really nice guy, and things go wrong.\u00a0 That can happen, and Paul and Sandy Coughlin are going to be with us tomorrow to talk about that.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t________________________________________________________________-\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301502"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301502"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301502"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301502"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}