{"id":301500,"date":"2008-01-07T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-07T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/hoping-and-healing\/"},"modified":"2008-01-07T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-07T17:00:00","slug":"hoping-and-healing","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hoping-and-healing\/","title":{"rendered":"Hoping and Healing"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It happens every day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-01-07.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.58M","filesize_raw":"12146662","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10443,2808],"tags":[4035,4034],"podcast_series":[7559],"cwp_profile":[9111],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301500","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christian-marriage-counseling","category-newlyweds","tag-first-year-of-marriage","tag-newlyweds","podcast_series-our-secret-paradise","cwp_profile-jimmy-and-karen-evans","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301500\/hoping-and-healing","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301500\/hoping-and-healing","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"olQ3IQ2XJ0\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hoping-and-healing\/\">Hoping and Healing<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hoping-and-healing\/embed\/#?secret=olQ3IQ2XJ0\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Hoping and Healing&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"olQ3IQ2XJ0\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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and that's what we like to say about the baggage that you bring in.\u00a0 You know, whether it's how you're raised or how your own personal life was, it affects your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, January 7th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 So you don't forget, order before midnight tonight \u2013 no, no, I'm sorry.\u00a0 If you thought you were getting a different bargain than you got when you got married, stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Thanks, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If our listeners only knew what was behind that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I want you to have it, here we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Bob's introduction \u2013 he thought his introduction was better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0No, I'm sure your introduction is going to be better than what I had \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Tomorrow you can do your introduction of our guests and the program tomorrow.\u00a0 Will that work?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I think that will work, sure, okay, we'll do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And, if you want, we'll have a straw poll on the Internet and let our listeners \u2013 no, we don't need to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Who had the better introduction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We don't need to do that.\u00a0 I really do want to introduce you to the best teacher on marriage and family relationships on planet earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Hnh, well, thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I really do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Oh, you're not talking about me?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I'm not talking about you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0[laughs] Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0This teacher has instructed couples, husbands and wives, moms and dads, for many years.\u00a0 He has inspired a book that's been a bestseller perennially, and he's a great applier of the truth to everyday situations to help couples work things out in their marriage relationship.\u00a0 I would like to introduce you to the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I'm sure glad you said that, because I could never have lived up to that one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We do have some guests here in the studio \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 who know the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Who know the Holy Spirit and His work firsthand in their lives.\u00a0 Isn't that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's the voice of Jimmy Evans, who joins us, along with his wife, Karen.\u00a0 Welcome to FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0It's good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Really good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy and Karen have been married since 1973, and they know the Holy Spirit's work, because as we are about to find out, they hit a wall early in their marriage.\u00a0 But fortunately they went through that wall and came out the other side better people, better husband, wife, and a couple, and have established a Christian family that not only raised a couple of adult children but have two \u2013 well, soon to be three grandchildren, and have made a great impact in a lot of marriages and families around the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0He is the president of Marriage Today, which is a weekly television program seen in many of our Christian networks around the country, and they have authored a book called \"Our Secret Paradise.\"\u00a0 It didn't start out that way, though, did it?\u00a0 It wasn't a paradise in the beginning?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, it was a for few days, and then \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Hello.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0We had the best of intentions, but it went south pretty quick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You said, \"hello.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, because I was thinking it was a little longer than two days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You made it at least through a week, right?\u00a0 You had just become a Christian when you got married, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0We were 19 years old, and I received Christ a week before we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And, Karen, had you been a Christian prior to marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, I was a progressing Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I was going to say, because if you were dating this guy who just came to Christ \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0My identity was so low that even having Christ in my heart, it was hard for me to get past my own self-esteem to realize his was not very good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Were you missionary dating at the time, then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, I didn't think of that.\u00a0 I was raised a Christian after \u2013 in high school.\u00a0 So the time that we met and were dating, you know, I was growing in the Lord, but I just didn't have the teaching.\u00a0 No one had taught us, you know, this is what you look for.\u00a0 We were just living, and so it was probably when we were first married that I really was turning my heart more to the Lord because of the pain of our marriage.\u00a0 You know, it just became so painful that I \u2013 it was probably what really helped me turn to the Lord the most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0How did you come to faith in Christ, Jimmy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I had grown up in church around the Gospel, never responded to it, just kind of hung around church really because of the girls.\u00a0 I mean, I went to church and church camp just to \u2013 there were cute girls there, and it was kind of a social thing, and Karen and I dated in high school, and Karen was a very pure person and a very good person.\u00a0 I was not.\u00a0 And a week before we got married, I had friends, and we were wild, and we did all kinds of wild stuff.\u00a0 I had actually told Karen she was not as important as my friends and even after marriage not to come between me and my friends because I had grown up all my life with these guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A week before we got married, they gave me a bachelor party and everything wrong happened at the bachelor party that would typically happen, but she didn't want to happen and I really didn't want it to happen, but it happened.\u00a0 But the next morning I woke up \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0What kind of stuff happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I slept with a gal that was there that they brought \u2013 one of the entertainers of my bachelor party, whatever you want to call it.\u00a0 I told my friends, I said, \"Listen, I want to have a clean bachelor party.\u00a0 I just want to get drunk and play poker.\"\u00a0 And my friends said \"Great.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"No girls or anything like that.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so they \u2013 well, I got drunk, and we played poker, and then here came the girls and bad things happened.\u00a0 I woke up the next morning, and I looked in the mirror, literally, and didn't like the person that I saw, and I had very high self-esteem.\u00a0 Karen had low self-esteem, I had very high self-esteem, and I didn't like me, and, for the first time, ever, I was convicted of something that I had said or done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And that was the day that I made my mind up from that point forward, I was giving my life to the Lord, and it really wasn't about Karen.\u00a0 I decided that regardless of whether she would marry me or not, and that day she told me she wouldn't because I told her what happened the night before.\u00a0 That day, when I received Christ, because I told the Lord right then, \"I'll never do that again.\u00a0 From now on, I'm serving you.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And the first thing I ever heard the Lord say to me is \"Never see your friends again.\"\u00a0 And so I was the captain of a baseball team, and so that day I drove across town, I put all the baseball gear out of my trunk on the yard there, on the lawn, and they all gathered around me talking about the bachelor party the night before, and they said, \"Wasn't it great?\" and I said, \"No, it wasn't great,\" and I said, \"I really regret everything I did last night, and I've given my life to the Lord, and I'm leaving here to go tell Karen what I did.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, of course, they were all terrified, because all their girlfriends, they were all friends with Karen, and you know how that works.\u00a0 I went and told Karen what I had done.\u00a0 She told me she'd never marry me, slammed the door in my face, and so it took a few days, but Karen \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, it was that night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0That night \u2013 well, you can tell the story, but we made up, obviously, and we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, but my make-up stores are a lot better than what you're saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, I want to hear from your side of things.\u00a0 I mean, when your intended, a week before the wedding, shows up and says \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I had already moved out.\u00a0 I was living on my own, and I was supporting myself, and so I was pretty independent, anyway, even though I didn't have any self-esteem, and I remember he came to the house \u2013 actually, he had called me the day before and said that nothing happened at the bachelor party.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So he lied to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\u00a0 And then the next night he called, and actually it started kind of coming out, and he called and he kind of said, \"I need to tell you that this is what happened.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Oh, well, we're not getting married.\"\u00a0 I was furious.\u00a0 I hung up, and I said, \"We're not getting married.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you told her over the phone?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0He said he can't remember, but I remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I was too much \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I'll help him with his memory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Barbara does that to me a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0It's like a blank out.\u00a0 Okay, so, the next thing I know, he's come over to the house, my duplex I lived in, and he's beating on the door, and he says, \"Just let me in.\"\u00a0 I said, \"Hm-mm.\"\u00a0 And he said, \"Let me in.\"\u00a0 And at this point I'm hearing crying \u2013 \"Oh, my gosh.\u00a0 He doesn't cry.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You'd never heard him cry before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, no, he was like macho James Dean, he was so cool.\u00a0 And so he was really, really a broken man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, let's kind of square this away, too.\u00a0 You were how old at the time, Jimmy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Nineteen years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And you were how old, Karen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Nineteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So we're not talking about a pair of 25-year-olds.\u00a0 We're talking about somebody fresh out of high school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah, because we graduated early, actually.\u00a0 And we didn't \u2013 our parents are great parents now both of us.\u00a0 But we weren't raised in the normal, you know, environment to know how to relate.\u00a0 I mean, we were just finding our way on our own, and so \u2013 anyway, so he was broken, and that just kind of \u2013 it hit my heart because I'd always seen the good side of him, even if nobody else could, I could see it.\u00a0 I don't know how, I guess God showed it to me, and even though my parents did not like him and did not want us to get married and prayed in their Bible studies that we wouldn't get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0They used to bring guys over to meet Karen while I was there in the house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I know her parents, and I could see them doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, oh, my dad did not like him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Your dad is a protector, and I can imagine he was trying to protect his daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0He did not like him.\u00a0 And so, anyway, apart from my parents, I decided I didn't want to get married to him, but his brokenness is what touched my heart, and I'd never seen him broken before, and, you know, I could tell that God had gotten hold of him, and I don't even know how, because I was so young in the Lord myself, I just knew something was going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0He, at that point, said, \"I'm not going to see my friends again.\u00a0 It's just going to be you and me,\" and I was shocked, because it was right.\u00a0 His friends always came first, and then \u2013 so, you know, that was really the turning point.\u00a0 His heart broke, he was most repentant.\u00a0 I mean, I've never seen him that repentant, and his conscience was different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0The turning point was that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you moved from saying \"No\" to marrying him \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0We went on with the wedding.\u00a0 Now, remember, like I said, my parents didn't really like him, so the wedding was real simple.\u00a0 It was in my parents' house in the morning and, I mean, it was just like the preacher and the parents, that's it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Did your parents know about this escapade here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Oh, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0They know now because of the seminars but, no, they didn't know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, if your daughter called you and said, \"Here is what's just happened, and I told him I'm not going to marry him, but he really seems like he's a changed man,\" you would not say, \"Well, okay, let's go on with the wedding next week,\" would you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, I told my father-in-law recently, I said, \"You know, all of your instincts while we were dating were right,\" because I wasn't a good young man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, I like it the way you say \u2013 you say you would never let your daughter date you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, I really wouldn't.\u00a0 I wasn't righteous.\u00a0 I was a rotten guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, here's the thing we've got to \u2013 in the midst of all of this remind our listeners of \u2013 these folks have a vibrant ministry to married couples today, and I think listeners can forget when they see Jimmy and Karen Evans today on television talking about marriage, they can think, \"Oh, well, that all sounds good, but do they really know what they're taking about?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You really know what you're taking about.\u00a0 It's out of the pain of your first five years of marriage that this whole ministry exists, isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Mm-hm, it really is.\u00a0 And we genuinely loved each other.\u00a0 We met when we were 16 and fell in love, and we genuinely loved each other but didn't know how to love each other and that's what, really, our testimony of how, really, the Holy Spirit, how the Lord taught us how to relate and how to love each other, healed us because we were both very wounded, and that's where the ministry comes from.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There's really two great lessons, and we're about to talk about the second one, but we dare not skip over the first one that for single people you really need to know the spiritual address of the person you're dating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Not just that they've shown up at church, that they've got a Bible, and they know how to pray out loud and have some God talk, but that they really know Christ, are following Him and are committed to Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0The character is everything.\u00a0 I mean, you need to know the heart of a man if you're a woman, and they can say all the right things, but their heart can be bad.\u00a0 I mean, it's just, to me, is a huge character issue, and that's the thing I could see about Jimmy.\u00a0 In spite of what he was doing on the outside, I also saw him in the environment of his home.\u00a0 He was always loving and respectful to his mother and his father.\u00a0 He was always kind.\u00a0 You know, he had a compassion that would come through in the midst of his machoism, and there was something redeemable with him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0There was just something \u2013 and I think that with women as they date, you know, you're exactly right.\u00a0 I look at women today, and I just think, \"What are you thinking?\"\u00a0 You know, \"Add it all up, because this is your future,\" and we like to say, too, \"You're not just marrying him, you're marrying his whole family.\"\u00a0 You know, whoever you're marrying, it's the whole package.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Were you thinking at the time, \"I'll marry him, and I'll fix him, and things will get better.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Not him, he's too strong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So you were thinking, \"I'll marry him, and this will be life?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And that was okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 Well, because, honestly, alone, one-on-one, we had an absolute wonderful relationship.\u00a0 It was when we added the outside mix, and that's what we like to say about the baggage that you bring in, you know, whether it's how you're raised or how your own personal life was, it affects your marriage.\u00a0 You know, and I think it's so important to do research on the history of your relationship that you're in \u2013 their past.\u00a0 Because it's going to affect our future, I don't care who you are, if you haven't dealt with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so that's something that we really, really spent a lot of time dealing with with other people is, you know, a lot of times you try to judge a person by what they do today when really it's something that they're just living the life of what happened to them in the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right, and carrying that baggage into a marriage relationship after a couple of years, it gets heavy.\u00a0 It finally reached a crisis point in your relationship where, Jimmy, you pointed at her, and you screamed at her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Yes, we had been married for, I guess, two or three years, and thought we knew the Lord.\u00a0 We went to church every Sunday, we were very dedicated to the Lord.\u00a0 I was a very dominant person, and Karen had no self-esteem.\u00a0 We really \u2013 you know, you marry your emotional match.\u00a0 We married based on who matches us emotionally, and Karen had no self-esteem, and I thought, you know, I was kind of God, Jr., really.\u00a0 I had very high self-esteem, very dominant, imposed my will on Karen and the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We call that \"pride,\" by the way, not just healthy self-esteem, we're talking \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0You all just cut right to the chase.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We're just talking sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I was trying to make it sound \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, taking a bow when it thunders is pride, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Okay, that was me.\u00a0 I didn't know you were watching, but I was really dominant, and I was verbally abusive, and when Karen \u2013 the Holy Spirit was healing Karen through the Word.\u00a0 Well, as she began to be healed, she began to stand up to me and not in a bad way.\u00a0 She began to stand up to me in a healthy way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But I was a very chauvinistic person, and I didn't like that.\u00a0 I didn't like to be talked back to, I didn't like to be stood up to and challenged.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That wasn't who you married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Not at all, that's exactly right, and she was just standing up and kind of protecting her space, which I had always dominated, and the worst \u2013 really, the worst fights we ever got into was about golf, ultimately, about her objecting to me playing golf so much, but it was her standing up saying, \"I don't want you to talk to me like that.\u00a0 I don't want you treating me like that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so that's when I just kind of erupted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you remember what precipitated the meltdown on that one night three, four, five years into your marriage when he said, \"Pack your bags and get out of here?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Even though I had low self-esteem, I'm also very stubborn.\u00a0 It doesn't come out except, you know, it's like push, push, push, and then, all of a sudden, it's like my heels are in, I'm not moving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so it was so cute, because that night, I remember, it's a typical fight that we'd have over absolutely nothing, just like all fights.\u00a0 You never can say what they're really about, and he just said, \"That's it.\u00a0 You're out of here.\u00a0 Pack your bags and get out.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, my mother had always said, \"If you ever leave, you're not coming here.\"\u00a0 So I remember thinking, \"Well, I don't know where I'm going, because it's not going to be to my home.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But Jimmy pointed his finger at you and told you to leave.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, and so I go to bed \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Were you supposed to take the kids with you and leave or just you leave?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, you think past that heated moment that you're not really \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So he didn't have the logistics down how this was going to be handled.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, we just wanted to be mad.\u00a0 And so I go to bed, and he stays in the other room and sleeps, whatever \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, stop right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Okay, okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You reflect in your book about what you were thinking as you sat there looking at the blank TV screen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 Well, I was \u2013 that morning, I had read my Bible, and Jesus said when the Holy Spirit comes, He'll lead you into all truth.\u00a0 And so when Karen went into the bedroom, and she was in there crying, and I was sitting in the living room, because we realized this can't go on anymore; we're damaging each other, this is horrible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I sat there that night, it literally was like \u2013 I asked the Lord, I just said, \"Lord, teach me how to be a husband, because I don't know.\"\u00a0 And that was a breakthrough because I had never admitted I didn't know anything, I was so arrogant.\u00a0 And literally, it was like scales fell from my eyes.\u00a0 It was like the next moment I could see what a jerk I was, and I had never seen it before.\u00a0 I just thought I was great.\u00a0 I thought that she didn't understand me.\u00a0 I really thought I was a great guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The next moment, as I just sat there, and the Lord was dealing with me, I could see that I was wrong, and I went in and told Karen that night for the first time ever in our relationship, \"I'm wrong.\"\u00a0 Since the night that I repented of what I had done at the bachelor party, the next night, years after we were married, that I admitted I had ever done anything wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And that began the healing of our relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Karen, when he walked in to admit he was wrong, did you have a hard time believing him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, actually, I thought he was walking in to tell me some more about how wrong I was.\u00a0 So I was already prepared to, you know, get stubborn again and just listen to him rant and raving.\u00a0 So when he came in, and he actually bent down at the side of the bed on his knees \u2013 that's broken \u2013 and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You mean he knelt?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, I was shocked.\u00a0 And so he knelt, and he was crying.\u00a0 I remember, he was broken, and he just said, \"I will do whatever it takes.\u00a0 I will quit golf, I'll quit everything I have to quit to make sure that our marriage, you know, you're the most important thing.\"\u00a0 I'd never heard him say that before.\u00a0 I was never a verbal, \"You're the most important person.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And at that moment, healing began.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And I think it's important to say it began.\u00a0 It didn't happen instantly, it wasn't like the next day and everything was fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, no, no, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, I think people \u2013 this is where people make Christianity into a bit of a myth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Where, instantly, some switch is thrown.\u00a0 All the past hurts and scars and wounds, they're still perhaps open, have to be dealt with, and trust has to be established and a track record.\u00a0 But I think the message here is real clear, in both illustrations, both when you repented at 19 and came to faith in Christ and submitted to Him and began your journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But then, again, a second time when you got on your knees, and you humbled yourself.\u00a0 That's the beginning of when a marriage ultimately can become what God wants it to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0When we submit our wills to Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 You know, I'm thinking about the couples who attend our FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences.\u00a0 They hear very clearly at these conferences, practical biblical help for their marriage, but they also hear that if you're trying to build your marriage on a foundation that you've created, you're going to have problems.\u00a0 You've got to make sure your marriage is centered in a relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And this spring we're going to be hosting these conferences in dozens of cities all across the country, and I want to encourage our listeners to go to our website, FamilyLife.com, find out more about when a conference is coming to a city near where you live, and then contact us this week or next week and plan to attend one of these upcoming conferences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you register this week or next week, you can save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 This is something that we do for FamilyLife Today listeners at the beginning of our conference season.\u00a0 All you have to do is go on our website, FamilyLife.com, there you can get more information about when one of our conferences is coming to a city near where you live or a city where you'd like to travel to attend a conference, and then you can register online, if you'd like, for an upcoming conference, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and register over the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you're registering online, and you want to take advantage of the special offer for radio listeners, you need to type my name in the keycode box on the registration form.\u00a0 Just type the name \"Bob\" and that way we'll know you're a radio listener, and you'll be able to attend one of the upcoming conferences, again, at a discounted rate.\u00a0 You'll save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you call 1-800-FLTODAY for more information or to register, just mention that you're a FamilyLife Today listener.\u00a0 You're one of Bob's friends, and they'll make sure that you get the special offer for FamilyLife Today listeners.\u00a0 Again, it's good this week and next week, so we need to hear from you as soon as possible.\u00a0 Some of these conferences are starting to fill up.\u00a0 A few of them are near the point where they're starting to sell out, so let me encourage you to go to our website or give us a call \u2013 1-800-FLTODAY, that's the phone number; or online at FamilyLife.com and plan to attend a Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference this spring, and if you get in touch with us this week or next week, you can save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, when you get in touch with us, you can also get a copy of the book Jimmy Evans has written called \"Our Secret Paradise,\" and a lot of what you've shared with us today is found in this book.\u00a0 It's the lessons you've learned not only from what the Scriptures teach but from what God's taught you in your own marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We've got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and you can order those online, if you'd like, at FamilyLife.com, or you can call to request a copy at 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we'll make arrangements to have a copy of the book sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow Jimmy and Karen Evans are going to be back with us.\u00a0 We want to talk about what happens when couples get locked up in conflict and what you can do to help unlock the problem.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t____________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["11.58M"],"filesize_raw":["12146662"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301500.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301500.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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happens every day.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2008-01-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I look at women today, and I just think, \"What are you thinking?\"\u00a0 And I think that with women as they date, you know, add it all up, because this is your future, and we like to say, too, \"You're not just marrying him, you're marrying his whole family.\"\u00a0 You know, whoever you're marrying, it's the whole package, and that's what we like to say about the baggage that you bring in.\u00a0 You know, whether it's how you're raised or how your own personal life was, it affects your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, January 7th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 So you don't forget, order before midnight tonight \u2013 no, no, I'm sorry.\u00a0 If you thought you were getting a different bargain than you got when you got married, stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Thanks, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If our listeners only knew what was behind that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I want you to have it, here we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Bob's introduction \u2013 he thought his introduction was better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0No, I'm sure your introduction is going to be better than what I had \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Tomorrow you can do your introduction of our guests and the program tomorrow.\u00a0 Will that work?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I think that will work, sure, okay, we'll do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And, if you want, we'll have a straw poll on the Internet and let our listeners \u2013 no, we don't need to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Who had the better introduction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We don't need to do that.\u00a0 I really do want to introduce you to the best teacher on marriage and family relationships on planet earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Hnh, well, thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I really do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Oh, you're not talking about me?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I'm not talking about you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0[laughs] Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0This teacher has instructed couples, husbands and wives, moms and dads, for many years.\u00a0 He has inspired a book that's been a bestseller perennially, and he's a great applier of the truth to everyday situations to help couples work things out in their marriage relationship.\u00a0 I would like to introduce you to the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I'm sure glad you said that, because I could never have lived up to that one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We do have some guests here in the studio \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 who know the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Who know the Holy Spirit and His work firsthand in their lives.\u00a0 Isn't that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's the voice of Jimmy Evans, who joins us, along with his wife, Karen.\u00a0 Welcome to FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0It's good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Really good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jimmy and Karen have been married since 1973, and they know the Holy Spirit's work, because as we are about to find out, they hit a wall early in their marriage.\u00a0 But fortunately they went through that wall and came out the other side better people, better husband, wife, and a couple, and have established a Christian family that not only raised a couple of adult children but have two \u2013 well, soon to be three grandchildren, and have made a great impact in a lot of marriages and families around the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0He is the president of Marriage Today, which is a weekly television program seen in many of our Christian networks around the country, and they have authored a book called \"Our Secret Paradise.\"\u00a0 It didn't start out that way, though, did it?\u00a0 It wasn't a paradise in the beginning?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, it was a for few days, and then \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Hello.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0We had the best of intentions, but it went south pretty quick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You said, \"hello.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, because I was thinking it was a little longer than two days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You made it at least through a week, right?\u00a0 You had just become a Christian when you got married, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0We were 19 years old, and I received Christ a week before we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And, Karen, had you been a Christian prior to marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, I was a progressing Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I was going to say, because if you were dating this guy who just came to Christ \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0My identity was so low that even having Christ in my heart, it was hard for me to get past my own self-esteem to realize his was not very good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Were you missionary dating at the time, then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, I didn't think of that.\u00a0 I was raised a Christian after \u2013 in high school.\u00a0 So the time that we met and were dating, you know, I was growing in the Lord, but I just didn't have the teaching.\u00a0 No one had taught us, you know, this is what you look for.\u00a0 We were just living, and so it was probably when we were first married that I really was turning my heart more to the Lord because of the pain of our marriage.\u00a0 You know, it just became so painful that I \u2013 it was probably what really helped me turn to the Lord the most.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0How did you come to faith in Christ, Jimmy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I had grown up in church around the Gospel, never responded to it, just kind of hung around church really because of the girls.\u00a0 I mean, I went to church and church camp just to \u2013 there were cute girls there, and it was kind of a social thing, and Karen and I dated in high school, and Karen was a very pure person and a very good person.\u00a0 I was not.\u00a0 And a week before we got married, I had friends, and we were wild, and we did all kinds of wild stuff.\u00a0 I had actually told Karen she was not as important as my friends and even after marriage not to come between me and my friends because I had grown up all my life with these guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A week before we got married, they gave me a bachelor party and everything wrong happened at the bachelor party that would typically happen, but she didn't want to happen and I really didn't want it to happen, but it happened.\u00a0 But the next morning I woke up \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0What kind of stuff happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I slept with a gal that was there that they brought \u2013 one of the entertainers of my bachelor party, whatever you want to call it.\u00a0 I told my friends, I said, \"Listen, I want to have a clean bachelor party.\u00a0 I just want to get drunk and play poker.\"\u00a0 And my friends said \"Great.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"No girls or anything like that.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so they \u2013 well, I got drunk, and we played poker, and then here came the girls and bad things happened.\u00a0 I woke up the next morning, and I looked in the mirror, literally, and didn't like the person that I saw, and I had very high self-esteem.\u00a0 Karen had low self-esteem, I had very high self-esteem, and I didn't like me, and, for the first time, ever, I was convicted of something that I had said or done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And that was the day that I made my mind up from that point forward, I was giving my life to the Lord, and it really wasn't about Karen.\u00a0 I decided that regardless of whether she would marry me or not, and that day she told me she wouldn't because I told her what happened the night before.\u00a0 That day, when I received Christ, because I told the Lord right then, \"I'll never do that again.\u00a0 From now on, I'm serving you.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And the first thing I ever heard the Lord say to me is \"Never see your friends again.\"\u00a0 And so I was the captain of a baseball team, and so that day I drove across town, I put all the baseball gear out of my trunk on the yard there, on the lawn, and they all gathered around me talking about the bachelor party the night before, and they said, \"Wasn't it great?\" and I said, \"No, it wasn't great,\" and I said, \"I really regret everything I did last night, and I've given my life to the Lord, and I'm leaving here to go tell Karen what I did.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, of course, they were all terrified, because all their girlfriends, they were all friends with Karen, and you know how that works.\u00a0 I went and told Karen what I had done.\u00a0 She told me she'd never marry me, slammed the door in my face, and so it took a few days, but Karen \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, it was that night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0That night \u2013 well, you can tell the story, but we made up, obviously, and we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, but my make-up stores are a lot better than what you're saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, I want to hear from your side of things.\u00a0 I mean, when your intended, a week before the wedding, shows up and says \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I had already moved out.\u00a0 I was living on my own, and I was supporting myself, and so I was pretty independent, anyway, even though I didn't have any self-esteem, and I remember he came to the house \u2013 actually, he had called me the day before and said that nothing happened at the bachelor party.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So he lied to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\u00a0 And then the next night he called, and actually it started kind of coming out, and he called and he kind of said, \"I need to tell you that this is what happened.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Oh, well, we're not getting married.\"\u00a0 I was furious.\u00a0 I hung up, and I said, \"We're not getting married.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you told her over the phone?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0He said he can't remember, but I remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I was too much \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0I'll help him with his memory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Barbara does that to me a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0It's like a blank out.\u00a0 Okay, so, the next thing I know, he's come over to the house, my duplex I lived in, and he's beating on the door, and he says, \"Just let me in.\"\u00a0 I said, \"Hm-mm.\"\u00a0 And he said, \"Let me in.\"\u00a0 And at this point I'm hearing crying \u2013 \"Oh, my gosh.\u00a0 He doesn't cry.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You'd never heard him cry before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, no, he was like macho James Dean, he was so cool.\u00a0 And so he was really, really a broken man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, let's kind of square this away, too.\u00a0 You were how old at the time, Jimmy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Nineteen years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And you were how old, Karen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Nineteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So we're not talking about a pair of 25-year-olds.\u00a0 We're talking about somebody fresh out of high school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Oh, yeah, because we graduated early, actually.\u00a0 And we didn't \u2013 our parents are great parents now both of us.\u00a0 But we weren't raised in the normal, you know, environment to know how to relate.\u00a0 I mean, we were just finding our way on our own, and so \u2013 anyway, so he was broken, and that just kind of \u2013 it hit my heart because I'd always seen the good side of him, even if nobody else could, I could see it.\u00a0 I don't know how, I guess God showed it to me, and even though my parents did not like him and did not want us to get married and prayed in their Bible studies that we wouldn't get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0They used to bring guys over to meet Karen while I was there in the house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I know her parents, and I could see them doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, oh, my dad did not like him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Your dad is a protector, and I can imagine he was trying to protect his daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0He did not like him.\u00a0 And so, anyway, apart from my parents, I decided I didn't want to get married to him, but his brokenness is what touched my heart, and I'd never seen him broken before, and, you know, I could tell that God had gotten hold of him, and I don't even know how, because I was so young in the Lord myself, I just knew something was going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0He, at that point, said, \"I'm not going to see my friends again.\u00a0 It's just going to be you and me,\" and I was shocked, because it was right.\u00a0 His friends always came first, and then \u2013 so, you know, that was really the turning point.\u00a0 His heart broke, he was most repentant.\u00a0 I mean, I've never seen him that repentant, and his conscience was different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0The turning point was that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you moved from saying \"No\" to marrying him \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0We went on with the wedding.\u00a0 Now, remember, like I said, my parents didn't really like him, so the wedding was real simple.\u00a0 It was in my parents' house in the morning and, I mean, it was just like the preacher and the parents, that's it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Did your parents know about this escapade here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Oh, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0They know now because of the seminars but, no, they didn't know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, if your daughter called you and said, \"Here is what's just happened, and I told him I'm not going to marry him, but he really seems like he's a changed man,\" you would not say, \"Well, okay, let's go on with the wedding next week,\" would you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, I told my father-in-law recently, I said, \"You know, all of your instincts while we were dating were right,\" because I wasn't a good young man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, I like it the way you say \u2013 you say you would never let your daughter date you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0No, I really wouldn't.\u00a0 I wasn't righteous.\u00a0 I was a rotten guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, here's the thing we've got to \u2013 in the midst of all of this remind our listeners of \u2013 these folks have a vibrant ministry to married couples today, and I think listeners can forget when they see Jimmy and Karen Evans today on television talking about marriage, they can think, \"Oh, well, that all sounds good, but do they really know what they're taking about?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You really know what you're taking about.\u00a0 It's out of the pain of your first five years of marriage that this whole ministry exists, isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Mm-hm, it really is.\u00a0 And we genuinely loved each other.\u00a0 We met when we were 16 and fell in love, and we genuinely loved each other but didn't know how to love each other and that's what, really, our testimony of how, really, the Holy Spirit, how the Lord taught us how to relate and how to love each other, healed us because we were both very wounded, and that's where the ministry comes from.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There's really two great lessons, and we're about to talk about the second one, but we dare not skip over the first one that for single people you really need to know the spiritual address of the person you're dating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Not just that they've shown up at church, that they've got a Bible, and they know how to pray out loud and have some God talk, but that they really know Christ, are following Him and are committed to Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0The character is everything.\u00a0 I mean, you need to know the heart of a man if you're a woman, and they can say all the right things, but their heart can be bad.\u00a0 I mean, it's just, to me, is a huge character issue, and that's the thing I could see about Jimmy.\u00a0 In spite of what he was doing on the outside, I also saw him in the environment of his home.\u00a0 He was always loving and respectful to his mother and his father.\u00a0 He was always kind.\u00a0 You know, he had a compassion that would come through in the midst of his machoism, and there was something redeemable with him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0There was just something \u2013 and I think that with women as they date, you know, you're exactly right.\u00a0 I look at women today, and I just think, \"What are you thinking?\"\u00a0 You know, \"Add it all up, because this is your future,\" and we like to say, too, \"You're not just marrying him, you're marrying his whole family.\"\u00a0 You know, whoever you're marrying, it's the whole package.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Were you thinking at the time, \"I'll marry him, and I'll fix him, and things will get better.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Not him, he's too strong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So you were thinking, \"I'll marry him, and this will be life?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And that was okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 Well, because, honestly, alone, one-on-one, we had an absolute wonderful relationship.\u00a0 It was when we added the outside mix, and that's what we like to say about the baggage that you bring in, you know, whether it's how you're raised or how your own personal life was, it affects your marriage.\u00a0 You know, and I think it's so important to do research on the history of your relationship that you're in \u2013 their past.\u00a0 Because it's going to affect our future, I don't care who you are, if you haven't dealt with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so that's something that we really, really spent a lot of time dealing with with other people is, you know, a lot of times you try to judge a person by what they do today when really it's something that they're just living the life of what happened to them in the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right, and carrying that baggage into a marriage relationship after a couple of years, it gets heavy.\u00a0 It finally reached a crisis point in your relationship where, Jimmy, you pointed at her, and you screamed at her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Yes, we had been married for, I guess, two or three years, and thought we knew the Lord.\u00a0 We went to church every Sunday, we were very dedicated to the Lord.\u00a0 I was a very dominant person, and Karen had no self-esteem.\u00a0 We really \u2013 you know, you marry your emotional match.\u00a0 We married based on who matches us emotionally, and Karen had no self-esteem, and I thought, you know, I was kind of God, Jr., really.\u00a0 I had very high self-esteem, very dominant, imposed my will on Karen and the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We call that \"pride,\" by the way, not just healthy self-esteem, we're talking \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0You all just cut right to the chase.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We're just talking sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0I was trying to make it sound \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, taking a bow when it thunders is pride, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Okay, that was me.\u00a0 I didn't know you were watching, but I was really dominant, and I was verbally abusive, and when Karen \u2013 the Holy Spirit was healing Karen through the Word.\u00a0 Well, as she began to be healed, she began to stand up to me and not in a bad way.\u00a0 She began to stand up to me in a healthy way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But I was a very chauvinistic person, and I didn't like that.\u00a0 I didn't like to be talked back to, I didn't like to be stood up to and challenged.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That wasn't who you married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Not at all, that's exactly right, and she was just standing up and kind of protecting her space, which I had always dominated, and the worst \u2013 really, the worst fights we ever got into was about golf, ultimately, about her objecting to me playing golf so much, but it was her standing up saying, \"I don't want you to talk to me like that.\u00a0 I don't want you treating me like that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so that's when I just kind of erupted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you remember what precipitated the meltdown on that one night three, four, five years into your marriage when he said, \"Pack your bags and get out of here?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Even though I had low self-esteem, I'm also very stubborn.\u00a0 It doesn't come out except, you know, it's like push, push, push, and then, all of a sudden, it's like my heels are in, I'm not moving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so it was so cute, because that night, I remember, it's a typical fight that we'd have over absolutely nothing, just like all fights.\u00a0 You never can say what they're really about, and he just said, \"That's it.\u00a0 You're out of here.\u00a0 Pack your bags and get out.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, my mother had always said, \"If you ever leave, you're not coming here.\"\u00a0 So I remember thinking, \"Well, I don't know where I'm going, because it's not going to be to my home.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But Jimmy pointed his finger at you and told you to leave.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, and so I go to bed \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Were you supposed to take the kids with you and leave or just you leave?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, you think past that heated moment that you're not really \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So he didn't have the logistics down how this was going to be handled.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, we just wanted to be mad.\u00a0 And so I go to bed, and he stays in the other room and sleeps, whatever \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, stop right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Okay, okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You reflect in your book about what you were thinking as you sat there looking at the blank TV screen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 Well, I was \u2013 that morning, I had read my Bible, and Jesus said when the Holy Spirit comes, He'll lead you into all truth.\u00a0 And so when Karen went into the bedroom, and she was in there crying, and I was sitting in the living room, because we realized this can't go on anymore; we're damaging each other, this is horrible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I sat there that night, it literally was like \u2013 I asked the Lord, I just said, \"Lord, teach me how to be a husband, because I don't know.\"\u00a0 And that was a breakthrough because I had never admitted I didn't know anything, I was so arrogant.\u00a0 And literally, it was like scales fell from my eyes.\u00a0 It was like the next moment I could see what a jerk I was, and I had never seen it before.\u00a0 I just thought I was great.\u00a0 I thought that she didn't understand me.\u00a0 I really thought I was a great guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The next moment, as I just sat there, and the Lord was dealing with me, I could see that I was wrong, and I went in and told Karen that night for the first time ever in our relationship, \"I'm wrong.\"\u00a0 Since the night that I repented of what I had done at the bachelor party, the next night, years after we were married, that I admitted I had ever done anything wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And that began the healing of our relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Karen, when he walked in to admit he was wrong, did you have a hard time believing him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Well, actually, I thought he was walking in to tell me some more about how wrong I was.\u00a0 So I was already prepared to, you know, get stubborn again and just listen to him rant and raving.\u00a0 So when he came in, and he actually bent down at the side of the bed on his knees \u2013 that's broken \u2013 and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You mean he knelt?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Yeah, I was shocked.\u00a0 And so he knelt, and he was crying.\u00a0 I remember, he was broken, and he just said, \"I will do whatever it takes.\u00a0 I will quit golf, I'll quit everything I have to quit to make sure that our marriage, you know, you're the most important thing.\"\u00a0 I'd never heard him say that before.\u00a0 I was never a verbal, \"You're the most important person.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And at that moment, healing began.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And I think it's important to say it began.\u00a0 It didn't happen instantly, it wasn't like the next day and everything was fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKaren:\u00a0No, no, no, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, I think people \u2013 this is where people make Christianity into a bit of a myth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Where, instantly, some switch is thrown.\u00a0 All the past hurts and scars and wounds, they're still perhaps open, have to be dealt with, and trust has to be established and a track record.\u00a0 But I think the message here is real clear, in both illustrations, both when you repented at 19 and came to faith in Christ and submitted to Him and began your journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But then, again, a second time when you got on your knees, and you humbled yourself.\u00a0 That's the beginning of when a marriage ultimately can become what God wants it to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0When we submit our wills to Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 You know, I'm thinking about the couples who attend our FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences.\u00a0 They hear very clearly at these conferences, practical biblical help for their marriage, but they also hear that if you're trying to build your marriage on a foundation that you've created, you're going to have problems.\u00a0 You've got to make sure your marriage is centered in a relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And this spring we're going to be hosting these conferences in dozens of cities all across the country, and I want to encourage our listeners to go to our website, FamilyLife.com, find out more about when a conference is coming to a city near where you live, and then contact us this week or next week and plan to attend one of these upcoming conferences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you register this week or next week, you can save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 This is something that we do for FamilyLife Today listeners at the beginning of our conference season.\u00a0 All you have to do is go on our website, FamilyLife.com, there you can get more information about when one of our conferences is coming to a city near where you live or a city where you'd like to travel to attend a conference, and then you can register online, if you'd like, for an upcoming conference, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and register over the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you're registering online, and you want to take advantage of the special offer for radio listeners, you need to type my name in the keycode box on the registration form.\u00a0 Just type the name \"Bob\" and that way we'll know you're a radio listener, and you'll be able to attend one of the upcoming conferences, again, at a discounted rate.\u00a0 You'll save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you call 1-800-FLTODAY for more information or to register, just mention that you're a FamilyLife Today listener.\u00a0 You're one of Bob's friends, and they'll make sure that you get the special offer for FamilyLife Today listeners.\u00a0 Again, it's good this week and next week, so we need to hear from you as soon as possible.\u00a0 Some of these conferences are starting to fill up.\u00a0 A few of them are near the point where they're starting to sell out, so let me encourage you to go to our website or give us a call \u2013 1-800-FLTODAY, that's the phone number; or online at FamilyLife.com and plan to attend a Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference this spring, and if you get in touch with us this week or next week, you can save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, when you get in touch with us, you can also get a copy of the book Jimmy Evans has written called \"Our Secret Paradise,\" and a lot of what you've shared with us today is found in this book.\u00a0 It's the lessons you've learned not only from what the Scriptures teach but from what God's taught you in your own marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We've got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and you can order those online, if you'd like, at FamilyLife.com, or you can call to request a copy at 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we'll make arrangements to have a copy of the book sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow Jimmy and Karen Evans are going to be back with us.\u00a0 We want to talk about what happens when couples get locked up in conflict and what you can do to help unlock the problem.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t____________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301500","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301500"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301500"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301500"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301500"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}