{"id":301446,"date":"2007-10-09T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-10-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/planning-a-honeymoon-filled-with-intention\/"},"modified":"2007-10-09T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-10-09T15:00:00","slug":"planning-a-honeymoon-filled-with-intention","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/planning-a-honeymoon-filled-with-intention\/","title":{"rendered":"Planning a Honeymoon Filled With Intention"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some have said the average bride spends 2,400 hours planning the wedding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-10-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.19M","filesize_raw":"12784216","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2807,2808],"tags":[4973,4955],"podcast_series":[7543],"cwp_profile":[9085],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301446","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","category-newlyweds","tag-honeymoon","tag-preparing-for-marriage","podcast_series-the-honeymoon-of-your-dreams","cwp_profile-dr-walt-larimore","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301446\/planning-a-honeymoon-filled-with-intention","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301446\/planning-a-honeymoon-filled-with-intention","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"fWCJu2iW44\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/planning-a-honeymoon-filled-with-intention\/\">Planning a Honeymoon Filled With Intention<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/planning-a-honeymoon-filled-with-intention\/embed\/#?secret=fWCJu2iW44\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Planning a Honeymoon Filled With Intention&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"fWCJu2iW44\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-10-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-10-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's become almost a clich\u00e9 \u2013 primarily because it's mostly true.\u00a0 We think a whole lot more about the wedding than we do about the marriage that's going to follow the wedding.\u00a0 Here is Dr. Walt Larimore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Just start talking about it.\u00a0 Again, that premarital education, that premarital evaluation, that premarital prayer time \u2013 it's not just a party that leads to a marriage, it's not just a vacation that leads to a marriage, this is the honeymoon, a holy time to begin to lay down the cornerstone for a marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, October 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We want to help you do a little honeymoon planning today so that your honeymoon can be the inaugural event for a great marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I have known couples who have really gone all out for the honeymoon \u2013 spent a lot of money, gone to some fabulous places, really done it up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yup.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I've known couples who have done it the economy route.\u00a0 They heard about a friend who had a cabin, they went off to the friend's cabin, it didn't cost a whole lot of money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, we did that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, it has seemed to me that the predictor of honeymoon success, whatever that looks like, is not based on how elaborate or how thrifty.\u00a0 You can have a great honeymoon with sparse accommodations, you can have a lousy honeymoon spending a lot of money trying to do it, can't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No doubt about it.\u00a0 The issue is \u2013 are you prepared for it and have you really been intentional about your honeymoon?\u00a0 And we have Dr. Walt Larimore with us again on FamilyLife Today to help us kind of recalibrate our expectations and to know how best to put together a honeymoon.\u00a0 Walt, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0It's good to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Walt has co-authored a book called \"The Honeymoon of Your Dreams.\"\u00a0 He is a physician, wrote it with another doctor, Susan Crockett, and I just wish this book had been available when Barbara and I were starting.\u00a0 Although, Bob, I was very intentional about our honeymoon.\u00a0 Walt mentioned earlier that the average woman spends 2,400 hours on the wedding.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, I didn't spend 2,400 hours on the honeymoon, but I spent \u2013 I'll bet I spent 100.\u00a0 I really thought through where we were going to go, how we were going to do it, because we toured the Rockies, and for a number of years \u2013 in fact, it would be interesting \u2013 we've now been married since 1972 \u2013 it would be interesting to ask her, because for a number of years she said out of all the places we've ever been, all the trips we've ever taken, her favorite was our honeymoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Even though I took her to camp out at 8,000 feet in September \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 in a snowstorm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0In a snowstorm, and yet she still enjoyed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, you remember when we interviewed Sarah Groves, the singer\/songwriter, and her husband, Troy, she tried to be intentional about at least one aspect of their honeymoon, but it didn't seem to play out.\u00a0 In fact, I think we've got this cued up so our listeners can hear how this intentionality \u2013 well, it kind of backfired, didn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It did.\u00a0 In fact, this is an illustration of what Walt talks about in his book of differing expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0I had a girlfriend who got married just like a couple of months before I did, so she was my only template, you know?\u00a0 And she had gone out and bought these \u2013 for \u2013 basically, a seven-day honeymoon, you know.\u00a0 She had seven little outfits, you know, and so I had done the same thing.\u00a0 I was just going to be as cute as I could be, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So we were on our honeymoon, you know, and he would start to be romantic, and I'd say, \"Wait right here,\" you know, I'd take off for an hour getting ready for this romantic moment.\u00a0 I'd just kill the mood, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So while I'm in there getting ready, he ordered a sandwich \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTroy:\u00a0I turned on the basketball game.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0And turned on the basketball game, so when I walked out, again, now my expectation is extremely high.\u00a0 I'm expecting him to throw the sandwich across the room, like, who would want to eat at a moment like this?\u00a0 You just look ravishing, you know, and at least turn off the game, you know, and he looks up, \"Hey, how are you doing,\" and he takes another bite of his sandwich.\u00a0 Well, that didn't take much, you know, and I just blew.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0He didn't even mute the sound?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0Well, you know, he didn't get much \u2013 he didn't get a chance to.\u00a0 I mean, the second I walked out, you know, I just started, you know \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Troy, Troy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTroy:\u00a0It was day 4, it was the fourth outfit, if you know what I mean, and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And it had taken an hour \u2013 it had taken an hour to get the outfit on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0I know, and he was hungry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You blew an opportunity.\u00a0 You know, we're laughing here, Walt, but this is no laughing matter in the midst of the honeymoon.\u00a0 There are a lot of couples who miss one another around expectations.\u00a0 Can you summarize a woman's expectation around the honeymoon in one word?\u00a0 Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I can \u2013 relationship.\u00a0 I think that's kind of what she's dreaming about is this romantic relationship that is this dreamy, great connecting of the hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It's an unencumbered, carefree connecting that's like you've never experienced before.\u00a0 You know, back when you were dating you had those moments, but now that you're married, now that \u2013 well, it's the Beach Boys.\u00a0 Wouldn't it be nice to say goodnight and stay together?\u00a0 It's that \u2013 we're going to be together forever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Carry me away to the castle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0And those expectations are physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and some are appropriate, reasonable, righteous, good expectations, and some are not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I talk to couples about expectations, I use the word \"cement.\"\u00a0 It's an acrostic for counseling is the C; the E is premarital evaluation, Dennis, like you mentioned in our last time together; the M is a mentor couple.\u00a0 We recommend that that start well before marriage, having a mentor couple; the second E of the cement acrostic is premarital education, just like the course we have at FamilyLife; the N is numbers, that's being prepared financially \u2013 budget, financial expectations; and then the T is talking to the Father.\u00a0 It's beginning to prepare spiritually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And utilizing that CEMENT acrostic in preparing for the honeymoon, also prepares for marriage.\u00a0 It allows you to talk about, deal with.\u00a0 Sometimes the silliest expectations \u2013 my son, Scott, and his then-fiancee, Jennifer, went through a premarital evaluation, and it was one that set up red flags and yellow flags and green flags.\u00a0 The green flags being areas that were pretty safe, likely not to have conflict, and the red flags being you better talk about it because this is going to come up likely in the honeymoon if not early in the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And there was a silly one, one of the questions in their evaluation was where are you going to spend Christmas?\u00a0 And he said, \"With Mom and Dad.\"\u00a0 And Jennifer said, \"With Mom and Dad.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0But a different Mom and Dad in her case.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Way different Mom and Dad, and both of them said, you know, we laugh about it now, because it was so easy to deal with then, but if we'd waited until a month before Christmas after we were married, or two months before Christmas, it could have been a powderkeg.\u00a0 We dealt with it before.\u00a0 We dealt with those expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We talked about the word that summarized the expectation of a woman on her honeymoon.\u00a0 I think we all know what the word is for the male species here.\u00a0 What advice would you have for a young man starting out his marriage in the sexual dimension of the honeymoon?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Well, first, Dennis, let's go before marriage.\u00a0 It may shock our listeners to know that according to some surveys, 85 percent of our evangelical Christian kids are sexually active at marriage \u2013 85 percent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Let me make a comment there, because Bob knows this \u2013 as we have our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences, Walt, you've been a number of times, you know we will have a breakout session for the engaged couples on a couple of occasions during the weekend, and we'll have a room that will have anywhere from 50 to as many as 300 engaged individuals who have come to the conference to get ready for their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And one of the things we've had to change over the 31 years we've been doing these conferences is addressing the number of evangelical young people who have not waiting until marriage.\u00a0 They are already living together \u2013 not just having sex, but they've already moved in.\u00a0 And so we actually call them in that session to move out, to separate again and let the honeymoon be what it was supposed to be.\u00a0 Let God do a new thing in their souls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, you know, this is a little bit of a soapbox, I know, for you, Bob, and me as well as we've spoken at these events, because these young people don't realize what they're missing.\u00a0 They are partaking of something that was intended for marriage later on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, and they don't realize the seeds they're sowing, the destructive seeds.\u00a0 Now, can God do a work?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 But let's not presume upon His grace to do that work and instead let's say we need to honor is intent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If a couple is coming to their honeymoon, and they're already sexually experienced, how does the honeymoon experience wind up being different for them, Walt?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0We spend a whole chapter talking about that, because it's such a critical issue.\u00a0 We address the couple where the male and the female are virgins.\u00a0 As we mentioned, it's a minority, but we pat that group on the back.\u00a0 That's a growing minority, but we deal with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Then we deal with the couple where one is a virgin and one has been sexually active before.\u00a0 That must be dealt with, and we recommend that it actually be dealt with within Christian counseling.\u00a0 If you do not deal with that puppy dog before marriage, it's going to show up in the honeymoon or later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Every time \u2013 I just talked to a couple who \u2013 they've been married 10 years, and she was actually interviewing me about this book and was very skeptical that this type of book was needed.\u00a0 She just had \u2013 that was her attitude.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0As we began to talk about the book, she really softened to see the need for it, and then she was thunderstruck, and she was quiet just a second, and then her eyes teared up, and she said, \"I remember when we flew to our honeymoon.\u00a0 We decided to go to Mexico.\u00a0 I'd never been out of the country before.\u00a0 I had never been sexually active.\u00a0 We're flying down, and I'm really scared.\u00a0 I'm scared about leaving the country, I'm scared about this first night together, and,\" she said \"my new husband put his arm around me, he sensed that something was the matter.\u00a0 He said, 'What's the matter?' and I told him, and he said, 'Don't worry about it.\u00a0 That's how Michelle felt when we flew to Mexico.'\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, imagine the rest of that honeymoon, and the rest of that week, and it was clear to me that this was still a root of bitterness that was planted in her.\u00a0 She's gone back.\u00a0 They've now entered into some counseling to talk about this, and they're planning, for their 10th anniversary, a second honeymoon, and they're using this book as the guide for how to redo what they didn't do correctly then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then, lastly, the couple you just mentioned, Dennis, we talk about the couple that are both sexually active, and we tell them \u2013 and sexually active with each other, whether they're co-habitating or not \u2013 that is an incredibly dangerous situation for them.\u00a0 It's dangerous emotionally, it's dangerous relationally and, in fact, the research shows that a couple that chooses not to enter secondary virginity, to not make a covenant to separate until marriage and continues to live together and continues to be sexually active, actually has a higher divorce rate than any other sub-group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0By separating, especially for the guys that are listening to this \u2013 by separating, you are saying to her, \"You are so important and so critical to me, that I want you to know that whenever I go on a business trip or I'm out of town or we're separated in the future, you can trust me.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, Dennis, we have them sign a contract, a covenant, to separate.\u00a0 We decide what is the line going to be intimately?\u00a0 For some of them, it's not even to hold hands, for some it's not to kiss, it's individual by couple, but if they break that covenant what they agree to is to call us \u2013 either to call Barb or I, as their mentoring couple, and we deal with it then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We give them accountability, we give them support, we give them a reason, and I'm sad to say that in some churches they don't even get that support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0As I've spoken to engaged couples at the Weekend to Remember the thing that I've said to them is, \"If you are being intimate with one another now, prior to marriage, one thing you both know about the other person is you are marrying someone who is willing to be intimate with a person with whom they're not married.\u00a0 You know that because you're doing it today.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now what makes you think that following the wedding that thought is going to go away, and you will think, \"Now this person will be faithful.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Yeah, we tell the ladies, if he tells you he cannot wait or will not wait, you need to run, not walk, you need to run.\u00a0 It's an incredibly dangerous situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I couldn't agree with you more, Walt.\u00a0 You know, Philippians, chapter 2, Bob, it's your favorite verse \u2013 \"Not merely looking out for your own interest but for the interest of another,\" and that's what marriage is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, \"do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit.\u00a0 With humility of mind, regard the other person as more important than yourself.\"\u00a0 You take that passage and apply it in this area, you apply it in the physical relationship for a couple prior to marriage, where you say \"Your interests are more important than mine\" and, ultimately, the interests of God are what we're both committed to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, in all these things we're talking about here, especially around the sexual dimension, it all has to do with our expectations.\u00a0 Men have a set of expectations, women have a set of expectations, we're different.\u00a0 When it comes to the honeymoon, if I could just kind of put my arm around a couple who are getting ready to start their marriage together, I just kind of reach out to both of them, and I say, \"Let me just tell both of you,\" with a smile on my face, \"expect some surprises on your honeymoon.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Just get ready, have a sense of humor, but walk by faith as you begin your marriage together because, you know what?\u00a0 That's what God calls us to do in all of life, and why should your honeymoon be any different?\u00a0 So expect some surprises, and when they occur, this is the test, this is the surprise that he was talking about on the radio.\u00a0 We're going to respond in faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Walt, you know a very famous person who has had a great impact on a lot of people's lives who started a honeymoon, what, 60 years ago?\u00a0 Maybe closer to 70 now and has a great story of responding in faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0I heard him give it publicly.\u00a0 He told of getting married.\u00a0 They were very, very poor.\u00a0 They decided to honeymoon at a resort on a lake, I believe, that was kind of one of these all-inclusive things even back then, but they sent their money off for that, and then they bought a bus ticket to the resort, one way to the resort and then for a week later, one way home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So after the ceremony, they changed clothes, got their bags, went to the bus station, were driven to the bus station and went out to this resort.\u00a0 The bus dropped them off, a little country road in the middle of nowhere.\u00a0 They walked about a quarter mile up to the resort, and when they got there, it was out of business.\u00a0 It was closed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This was in the evening, there's no cell phones 60 years ago, there were no pay phones, there was no nothing.\u00a0 The man, realizing this was a surprise, it's not what we expected, but God was not surprised.\u00a0 They prayed briefly, and they walked back down the driveway, looked up one way, there was nothing as far as the eye could see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And looked the other way, and down \u2013 a ways down the road was a small filling station with one pump \u2013 and old country store.\u00a0 They walked down to it, and the lady that owned it was a widow.\u00a0 She was closing up, and they told her of their predicament, and she said, \"Well, I've got a room upstairs, if you'd like to stay there you can, and then we'll work on the rest of it starting tomorrow.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And that's where they spent their honeymoon.\u00a0 As they went to bed that night, this man prayed with his wife \u2013 because she's devastated, crying, upset.\u00a0 This is not a surprise to God.\u00a0 He is in charge.\u00a0 And they had their honeymoon night there.\u00a0 The next morning the lady came in early, made some coffee, some oatmeal, they were having breakfast and talking, and it turns out this man was a worship leader, and she said, \"Well, you know, we have a problem.\u00a0 At our church we're having a revival, and our worship leader, the music leader, is ill, and would you be interested, until we can sort this out, helping out with the revival?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A thought occurred in his mind \u2013 is this what the Lord's up to?\u00a0 Is this what He's up to?\u00a0 So he went to that church, met with the revivalist, ended up being hired for that week, actually got paid for that week, and the end of the story, to make a long story short is that was Cliff Barrows on his honeymoon, and that was the first time he met Billy Graham.\u00a0 And thus was born a relationship out of what many couples may have seen as a disaster that showed God's footprints all over the fact that His design for the honeymoon is a foundation stone for a lifelong marriage that glorifies Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0That's what honeymoons are all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It is, and it's what marriage is all about, and I just add to what you just said \u2013 Jesus Christ came to be the Lord and the Master of every marriage, and what a great illustration of what a honeymoon should be and how God used that to redirect Cliff Barrows' career and his path for the rest of his life, but also what a great illustration for young couples.\u00a0 This is what marriage was intended to be \u2013 the merger of two imperfect people with God Almighty, building a marriage in the midst of storms, in the midst of mountain peaks, valleys, you're going to build on all sorts of terrain and weather.\u00a0 But God calls you to make Him your master and your Savior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I just want to thank you, Walt, for your ministry of writing and for this book.\u00a0 You know, Bob was commenting to me earlier, we've been doing radio now for 15 years.\u00a0 We've never done one on the honeymoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We really haven't talked about intentionality, and that's what I think is so helpful about your book.\u00a0 It helps a couple think through not just where is a nice place to go and what would be a nice vacation but how can we make the honeymoon the inauguration event for our marriage?\u00a0 How can we do something that helps us build a spiritual foundation, a relational foundation, the romantic, intimate foundation of our marriage \u2013 all of that \u2013 in one event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The book that you've written is called \"The Honeymoon of Your Dreams,\" and it's available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 You can do to our website at FamilyLife.com to request a copy of the book.\u00a0 In fact, when you get to the home page, you'll see a red button that says, \"Go,\" and if you click that button, it will take you to the area of the site where there is information about Walt's book, about a book that you and Barbara wrote a number of years ago on couples starting their marriage right, in fact, that's the title of that book, \"Starting Your Marriage Right,\" and we also have information about the brand-new release of the book, \"Moments With You.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This is a daily devotional guide for couples.\u00a0 We're excited, because we've been waiting for this book to come off the press for the last few months, and we're excited that it is here \u2013 365 devotions for couples to do together.\u00a0 It's designed to get you talking, designed to give you an opportunity to pray together each day, and to help you focus together on a subject related to your marriage, your family, your relationship with God.\u00a0 It's designed to help you look at the Scriptures and at life and to do it together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So we want to encourage you to get a copy of the brand-new book, \"Moments With You.\"\u00a0 It's available now in Christian bookstores, or you can order a copy from us here at FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Go to our website, FamilyLife.com, click that red button that says \"Go,\" and you'll be able to order a copy of the book online, or you can call us if you'd prefer \u2013 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Contact us, and we can make arrangements to have any of the resources we've talked about here sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, from time to time here on FamilyLife Today, we mention the fact that we are listener-supported, and we encourage listeners to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today through a donation either on our website or by calling 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to make sure our listeners understand that when we mention that, we don't want you to do anything that would take away from giving to your local church.\u00a0 We believe that stewardship begins there, and your financial support for ministry ought to happen first at your local church.\u00a0 So we hope that when you hear us mention a donation to FamilyLife Today, you are never tempted to say, \"Well, I'll just dip into what I sometimes give to church and give it to FamilyLife Today this month.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We wouldn't want that to be the case at all.\u00a0 Beyond what you are able to do for your local church, some of you may be able to help support our ministry as well.\u00a0 We are listener-supported, and those donations are what keep us on the air on this station and on other stations all across the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And this month we want to send you a thank you gift, if you are able to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 It's a two-CD series from Dennis and Barbara Rainey, where Dennis talks to husbands about stepping up to be the man that God wants you to be, and Barbara talks to wives about what a wife can do to do help her husband be the man that God wants him to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Those two CDs are our way of saying thank you when you do help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and you can do that online at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 If you're donating online, and you'd like to receive the CDs, when you come to the keycode box on the donation form, type in the word \"steps,\" or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone and just mention that you'd like the two CDs from Dennis and Barbara.\u00a0 We're happy to send them out to you, and, again, we appreciate your support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow, we want to invite you back as we talk about what's happening online.\u00a0 We want to talk about the Internet and about Facebook and MySpace and social networking and filters and safety and everything parents need to know so that the Internet can be an ally around your house rather than an enemy.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["12.19M"],"filesize_raw":["12784216"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301446.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301446.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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have said the average bride spends 2,400 hours planning the wedding.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-10-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's become almost a clich\u00e9 \u2013 primarily because it's mostly true.\u00a0 We think a whole lot more about the wedding than we do about the marriage that's going to follow the wedding.\u00a0 Here is Dr. Walt Larimore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Just start talking about it.\u00a0 Again, that premarital education, that premarital evaluation, that premarital prayer time \u2013 it's not just a party that leads to a marriage, it's not just a vacation that leads to a marriage, this is the honeymoon, a holy time to begin to lay down the cornerstone for a marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, October 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We want to help you do a little honeymoon planning today so that your honeymoon can be the inaugural event for a great marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I have known couples who have really gone all out for the honeymoon \u2013 spent a lot of money, gone to some fabulous places, really done it up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yup.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I've known couples who have done it the economy route.\u00a0 They heard about a friend who had a cabin, they went off to the friend's cabin, it didn't cost a whole lot of money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, we did that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, it has seemed to me that the predictor of honeymoon success, whatever that looks like, is not based on how elaborate or how thrifty.\u00a0 You can have a great honeymoon with sparse accommodations, you can have a lousy honeymoon spending a lot of money trying to do it, can't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No doubt about it.\u00a0 The issue is \u2013 are you prepared for it and have you really been intentional about your honeymoon?\u00a0 And we have Dr. Walt Larimore with us again on FamilyLife Today to help us kind of recalibrate our expectations and to know how best to put together a honeymoon.\u00a0 Walt, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0It's good to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Walt has co-authored a book called \"The Honeymoon of Your Dreams.\"\u00a0 He is a physician, wrote it with another doctor, Susan Crockett, and I just wish this book had been available when Barbara and I were starting.\u00a0 Although, Bob, I was very intentional about our honeymoon.\u00a0 Walt mentioned earlier that the average woman spends 2,400 hours on the wedding.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, I didn't spend 2,400 hours on the honeymoon, but I spent \u2013 I'll bet I spent 100.\u00a0 I really thought through where we were going to go, how we were going to do it, because we toured the Rockies, and for a number of years \u2013 in fact, it would be interesting \u2013 we've now been married since 1972 \u2013 it would be interesting to ask her, because for a number of years she said out of all the places we've ever been, all the trips we've ever taken, her favorite was our honeymoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Even though I took her to camp out at 8,000 feet in September \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 in a snowstorm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0In a snowstorm, and yet she still enjoyed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, you remember when we interviewed Sarah Groves, the singer\/songwriter, and her husband, Troy, she tried to be intentional about at least one aspect of their honeymoon, but it didn't seem to play out.\u00a0 In fact, I think we've got this cued up so our listeners can hear how this intentionality \u2013 well, it kind of backfired, didn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It did.\u00a0 In fact, this is an illustration of what Walt talks about in his book of differing expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0I had a girlfriend who got married just like a couple of months before I did, so she was my only template, you know?\u00a0 And she had gone out and bought these \u2013 for \u2013 basically, a seven-day honeymoon, you know.\u00a0 She had seven little outfits, you know, and so I had done the same thing.\u00a0 I was just going to be as cute as I could be, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So we were on our honeymoon, you know, and he would start to be romantic, and I'd say, \"Wait right here,\" you know, I'd take off for an hour getting ready for this romantic moment.\u00a0 I'd just kill the mood, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So while I'm in there getting ready, he ordered a sandwich \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTroy:\u00a0I turned on the basketball game.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0And turned on the basketball game, so when I walked out, again, now my expectation is extremely high.\u00a0 I'm expecting him to throw the sandwich across the room, like, who would want to eat at a moment like this?\u00a0 You just look ravishing, you know, and at least turn off the game, you know, and he looks up, \"Hey, how are you doing,\" and he takes another bite of his sandwich.\u00a0 Well, that didn't take much, you know, and I just blew.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0He didn't even mute the sound?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0Well, you know, he didn't get much \u2013 he didn't get a chance to.\u00a0 I mean, the second I walked out, you know, I just started, you know \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Troy, Troy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTroy:\u00a0It was day 4, it was the fourth outfit, if you know what I mean, and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And it had taken an hour \u2013 it had taken an hour to get the outfit on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah:\u00a0I know, and he was hungry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You blew an opportunity.\u00a0 You know, we're laughing here, Walt, but this is no laughing matter in the midst of the honeymoon.\u00a0 There are a lot of couples who miss one another around expectations.\u00a0 Can you summarize a woman's expectation around the honeymoon in one word?\u00a0 Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I can \u2013 relationship.\u00a0 I think that's kind of what she's dreaming about is this romantic relationship that is this dreamy, great connecting of the hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It's an unencumbered, carefree connecting that's like you've never experienced before.\u00a0 You know, back when you were dating you had those moments, but now that you're married, now that \u2013 well, it's the Beach Boys.\u00a0 Wouldn't it be nice to say goodnight and stay together?\u00a0 It's that \u2013 we're going to be together forever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Carry me away to the castle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0And those expectations are physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and some are appropriate, reasonable, righteous, good expectations, and some are not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I talk to couples about expectations, I use the word \"cement.\"\u00a0 It's an acrostic for counseling is the C; the E is premarital evaluation, Dennis, like you mentioned in our last time together; the M is a mentor couple.\u00a0 We recommend that that start well before marriage, having a mentor couple; the second E of the cement acrostic is premarital education, just like the course we have at FamilyLife; the N is numbers, that's being prepared financially \u2013 budget, financial expectations; and then the T is talking to the Father.\u00a0 It's beginning to prepare spiritually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And utilizing that CEMENT acrostic in preparing for the honeymoon, also prepares for marriage.\u00a0 It allows you to talk about, deal with.\u00a0 Sometimes the silliest expectations \u2013 my son, Scott, and his then-fiancee, Jennifer, went through a premarital evaluation, and it was one that set up red flags and yellow flags and green flags.\u00a0 The green flags being areas that were pretty safe, likely not to have conflict, and the red flags being you better talk about it because this is going to come up likely in the honeymoon if not early in the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And there was a silly one, one of the questions in their evaluation was where are you going to spend Christmas?\u00a0 And he said, \"With Mom and Dad.\"\u00a0 And Jennifer said, \"With Mom and Dad.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0But a different Mom and Dad in her case.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Way different Mom and Dad, and both of them said, you know, we laugh about it now, because it was so easy to deal with then, but if we'd waited until a month before Christmas after we were married, or two months before Christmas, it could have been a powderkeg.\u00a0 We dealt with it before.\u00a0 We dealt with those expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We talked about the word that summarized the expectation of a woman on her honeymoon.\u00a0 I think we all know what the word is for the male species here.\u00a0 What advice would you have for a young man starting out his marriage in the sexual dimension of the honeymoon?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Well, first, Dennis, let's go before marriage.\u00a0 It may shock our listeners to know that according to some surveys, 85 percent of our evangelical Christian kids are sexually active at marriage \u2013 85 percent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Let me make a comment there, because Bob knows this \u2013 as we have our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences, Walt, you've been a number of times, you know we will have a breakout session for the engaged couples on a couple of occasions during the weekend, and we'll have a room that will have anywhere from 50 to as many as 300 engaged individuals who have come to the conference to get ready for their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And one of the things we've had to change over the 31 years we've been doing these conferences is addressing the number of evangelical young people who have not waiting until marriage.\u00a0 They are already living together \u2013 not just having sex, but they've already moved in.\u00a0 And so we actually call them in that session to move out, to separate again and let the honeymoon be what it was supposed to be.\u00a0 Let God do a new thing in their souls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, you know, this is a little bit of a soapbox, I know, for you, Bob, and me as well as we've spoken at these events, because these young people don't realize what they're missing.\u00a0 They are partaking of something that was intended for marriage later on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, and they don't realize the seeds they're sowing, the destructive seeds.\u00a0 Now, can God do a work?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 But let's not presume upon His grace to do that work and instead let's say we need to honor is intent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If a couple is coming to their honeymoon, and they're already sexually experienced, how does the honeymoon experience wind up being different for them, Walt?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0We spend a whole chapter talking about that, because it's such a critical issue.\u00a0 We address the couple where the male and the female are virgins.\u00a0 As we mentioned, it's a minority, but we pat that group on the back.\u00a0 That's a growing minority, but we deal with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Then we deal with the couple where one is a virgin and one has been sexually active before.\u00a0 That must be dealt with, and we recommend that it actually be dealt with within Christian counseling.\u00a0 If you do not deal with that puppy dog before marriage, it's going to show up in the honeymoon or later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Every time \u2013 I just talked to a couple who \u2013 they've been married 10 years, and she was actually interviewing me about this book and was very skeptical that this type of book was needed.\u00a0 She just had \u2013 that was her attitude.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0As we began to talk about the book, she really softened to see the need for it, and then she was thunderstruck, and she was quiet just a second, and then her eyes teared up, and she said, \"I remember when we flew to our honeymoon.\u00a0 We decided to go to Mexico.\u00a0 I'd never been out of the country before.\u00a0 I had never been sexually active.\u00a0 We're flying down, and I'm really scared.\u00a0 I'm scared about leaving the country, I'm scared about this first night together, and,\" she said \"my new husband put his arm around me, he sensed that something was the matter.\u00a0 He said, 'What's the matter?' and I told him, and he said, 'Don't worry about it.\u00a0 That's how Michelle felt when we flew to Mexico.'\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, imagine the rest of that honeymoon, and the rest of that week, and it was clear to me that this was still a root of bitterness that was planted in her.\u00a0 She's gone back.\u00a0 They've now entered into some counseling to talk about this, and they're planning, for their 10th anniversary, a second honeymoon, and they're using this book as the guide for how to redo what they didn't do correctly then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then, lastly, the couple you just mentioned, Dennis, we talk about the couple that are both sexually active, and we tell them \u2013 and sexually active with each other, whether they're co-habitating or not \u2013 that is an incredibly dangerous situation for them.\u00a0 It's dangerous emotionally, it's dangerous relationally and, in fact, the research shows that a couple that chooses not to enter secondary virginity, to not make a covenant to separate until marriage and continues to live together and continues to be sexually active, actually has a higher divorce rate than any other sub-group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0By separating, especially for the guys that are listening to this \u2013 by separating, you are saying to her, \"You are so important and so critical to me, that I want you to know that whenever I go on a business trip or I'm out of town or we're separated in the future, you can trust me.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, Dennis, we have them sign a contract, a covenant, to separate.\u00a0 We decide what is the line going to be intimately?\u00a0 For some of them, it's not even to hold hands, for some it's not to kiss, it's individual by couple, but if they break that covenant what they agree to is to call us \u2013 either to call Barb or I, as their mentoring couple, and we deal with it then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We give them accountability, we give them support, we give them a reason, and I'm sad to say that in some churches they don't even get that support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0As I've spoken to engaged couples at the Weekend to Remember the thing that I've said to them is, \"If you are being intimate with one another now, prior to marriage, one thing you both know about the other person is you are marrying someone who is willing to be intimate with a person with whom they're not married.\u00a0 You know that because you're doing it today.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now what makes you think that following the wedding that thought is going to go away, and you will think, \"Now this person will be faithful.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0Yeah, we tell the ladies, if he tells you he cannot wait or will not wait, you need to run, not walk, you need to run.\u00a0 It's an incredibly dangerous situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I couldn't agree with you more, Walt.\u00a0 You know, Philippians, chapter 2, Bob, it's your favorite verse \u2013 \"Not merely looking out for your own interest but for the interest of another,\" and that's what marriage is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, \"do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit.\u00a0 With humility of mind, regard the other person as more important than yourself.\"\u00a0 You take that passage and apply it in this area, you apply it in the physical relationship for a couple prior to marriage, where you say \"Your interests are more important than mine\" and, ultimately, the interests of God are what we're both committed to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, in all these things we're talking about here, especially around the sexual dimension, it all has to do with our expectations.\u00a0 Men have a set of expectations, women have a set of expectations, we're different.\u00a0 When it comes to the honeymoon, if I could just kind of put my arm around a couple who are getting ready to start their marriage together, I just kind of reach out to both of them, and I say, \"Let me just tell both of you,\" with a smile on my face, \"expect some surprises on your honeymoon.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Just get ready, have a sense of humor, but walk by faith as you begin your marriage together because, you know what?\u00a0 That's what God calls us to do in all of life, and why should your honeymoon be any different?\u00a0 So expect some surprises, and when they occur, this is the test, this is the surprise that he was talking about on the radio.\u00a0 We're going to respond in faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Walt, you know a very famous person who has had a great impact on a lot of people's lives who started a honeymoon, what, 60 years ago?\u00a0 Maybe closer to 70 now and has a great story of responding in faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWalt:\u00a0I heard him give it publicly.\u00a0 He told of getting married.\u00a0 They were very, very poor.\u00a0 They decided to honeymoon at a resort on a lake, I believe, that was kind of one of these all-inclusive things even back then, but they sent their money off for that, and then they bought a bus ticket to the resort, one way to the resort and then for a week later, one way home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So after the ceremony, they changed clothes, got their bags, went to the bus station, were driven to the bus station and went out to this resort.\u00a0 The bus dropped them off, a little country road in the middle of nowhere.\u00a0 They walked about a quarter mile up to the resort, and when they got there, it was out of business.\u00a0 It was closed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This was in the evening, there's no cell phones 60 years ago, there were no pay phones, there was no nothing.\u00a0 The man, realizing this was a surprise, it's not what we expected, but God was not surprised.\u00a0 They prayed briefly, and they walked back down the driveway, looked up one way, there was nothing as far as the eye could see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And looked the other way, and down \u2013 a ways down the road was a small filling station with one pump \u2013 and old country store.\u00a0 They walked down to it, and the lady that owned it was a widow.\u00a0 She was closing up, and they told her of their predicament, and she said, \"Well, I've got a room upstairs, if you'd like to stay there you can, and then we'll work on the rest of it starting tomorrow.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And that's where they spent their honeymoon.\u00a0 As they went to bed that night, this man prayed with his wife \u2013 because she's devastated, crying, upset.\u00a0 This is not a surprise to God.\u00a0 He is in charge.\u00a0 And they had their honeymoon night there.\u00a0 The next morning the lady came in early, made some coffee, some oatmeal, they were having breakfast and talking, and it turns out this man was a worship leader, and she said, \"Well, you know, we have a problem.\u00a0 At our church we're having a revival, and our worship leader, the music leader, is ill, and would you be interested, until we can sort this out, helping out with the revival?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A thought occurred in his mind \u2013 is this what the Lord's up to?\u00a0 Is this what He's up to?\u00a0 So he went to that church, met with the revivalist, ended up being hired for that week, actually got paid for that week, and the end of the story, to make a long story short is that was Cliff Barrows on his honeymoon, and that was the first time he met Billy Graham.\u00a0 And thus was born a relationship out of what many couples may have seen as a disaster that showed God's footprints all over the fact that His design for the honeymoon is a foundation stone for a lifelong marriage that glorifies Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0That's what honeymoons are all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It is, and it's what marriage is all about, and I just add to what you just said \u2013 Jesus Christ came to be the Lord and the Master of every marriage, and what a great illustration of what a honeymoon should be and how God used that to redirect Cliff Barrows' career and his path for the rest of his life, but also what a great illustration for young couples.\u00a0 This is what marriage was intended to be \u2013 the merger of two imperfect people with God Almighty, building a marriage in the midst of storms, in the midst of mountain peaks, valleys, you're going to build on all sorts of terrain and weather.\u00a0 But God calls you to make Him your master and your Savior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I just want to thank you, Walt, for your ministry of writing and for this book.\u00a0 You know, Bob was commenting to me earlier, we've been doing radio now for 15 years.\u00a0 We've never done one on the honeymoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We really haven't talked about intentionality, and that's what I think is so helpful about your book.\u00a0 It helps a couple think through not just where is a nice place to go and what would be a nice vacation but how can we make the honeymoon the inauguration event for our marriage?\u00a0 How can we do something that helps us build a spiritual foundation, a relational foundation, the romantic, intimate foundation of our marriage \u2013 all of that \u2013 in one event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The book that you've written is called \"The Honeymoon of Your Dreams,\" and it's available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 You can do to our website at FamilyLife.com to request a copy of the book.\u00a0 In fact, when you get to the home page, you'll see a red button that says, \"Go,\" and if you click that button, it will take you to the area of the site where there is information about Walt's book, about a book that you and Barbara wrote a number of years ago on couples starting their marriage right, in fact, that's the title of that book, \"Starting Your Marriage Right,\" and we also have information about the brand-new release of the book, \"Moments With You.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This is a daily devotional guide for couples.\u00a0 We're excited, because we've been waiting for this book to come off the press for the last few months, and we're excited that it is here \u2013 365 devotions for couples to do together.\u00a0 It's designed to get you talking, designed to give you an opportunity to pray together each day, and to help you focus together on a subject related to your marriage, your family, your relationship with God.\u00a0 It's designed to help you look at the Scriptures and at life and to do it together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So we want to encourage you to get a copy of the brand-new book, \"Moments With You.\"\u00a0 It's available now in Christian bookstores, or you can order a copy from us here at FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Go to our website, FamilyLife.com, click that red button that says \"Go,\" and you'll be able to order a copy of the book online, or you can call us if you'd prefer \u2013 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Contact us, and we can make arrangements to have any of the resources we've talked about here sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, from time to time here on FamilyLife Today, we mention the fact that we are listener-supported, and we encourage listeners to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today through a donation either on our website or by calling 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to make sure our listeners understand that when we mention that, we don't want you to do anything that would take away from giving to your local church.\u00a0 We believe that stewardship begins there, and your financial support for ministry ought to happen first at your local church.\u00a0 So we hope that when you hear us mention a donation to FamilyLife Today, you are never tempted to say, \"Well, I'll just dip into what I sometimes give to church and give it to FamilyLife Today this month.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We wouldn't want that to be the case at all.\u00a0 Beyond what you are able to do for your local church, some of you may be able to help support our ministry as well.\u00a0 We are listener-supported, and those donations are what keep us on the air on this station and on other stations all across the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And this month we want to send you a thank you gift, if you are able to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 It's a two-CD series from Dennis and Barbara Rainey, where Dennis talks to husbands about stepping up to be the man that God wants you to be, and Barbara talks to wives about what a wife can do to do help her husband be the man that God wants him to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Those two CDs are our way of saying thank you when you do help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and you can do that online at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 If you're donating online, and you'd like to receive the CDs, when you come to the keycode box on the donation form, type in the word \"steps,\" or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone and just mention that you'd like the two CDs from Dennis and Barbara.\u00a0 We're happy to send them out to you, and, again, we appreciate your support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow, we want to invite you back as we talk about what's happening online.\u00a0 We want to talk about the Internet and about Facebook and MySpace and social networking and filters and safety and everything parents need to know so that the Internet can be an ally around your house rather than an enemy.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301446"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301446"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301446"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301446"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}