{"id":301443,"date":"2007-09-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-09-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/eight-steps-to-no-regrets\/"},"modified":"2007-09-27T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-09-27T15:00:00","slug":"eight-steps-to-no-regrets","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/eight-steps-to-no-regrets\/","title":{"rendered":"Eight Steps to No Regrets"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you meeting your daughter&#8217;s date for the first time?  What questions should you ask him?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-09-27.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"13.23M","filesize_raw":"13874948","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2836],"tags":[4972],"podcast_series":[7542],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301443","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-girls","tag-protecting-your-daughter","podcast_series-interviewing-your-daughters-date-drama","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301443\/eight-steps-to-no-regrets","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301443\/eight-steps-to-no-regrets","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"GBD2xquOaq\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/eight-steps-to-no-regrets\/\">Eight Steps to No Regrets<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/eight-steps-to-no-regrets\/embed\/#?secret=GBD2xquOaq\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Eight Steps to No Regrets&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"GBD2xquOaq\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Are you meeting your daughter's date for the first time? What questions should you ask him?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-09-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Over the years, the following conversation has taken place with a number of young men on the back porch at the Rainey house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0A woman is God's creation.\u00a0 She is a beautiful creation, a fine creation \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0[thinking] Okay, wow.\u00a0 Should I be taking notes?\u00a0 Is this going to be on the test?\u00a0 Wait, this is the test.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u2026 one of the great callings that you have as a young man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You're going to get the chance to spend the evening with this fine creation of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And, as her father, I am entrusting to you the care, the protection \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0The security.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, yeah, all of that.\u00a0 Man-to-man, I'm counting on you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0This culture would tell you, as a young man, that your passions are normal, just get into them.\u00a0 But I'm going to tell you, you're never more of a man \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0[thinking] This is amazing.\u00a0 I thought we were just going to Starbuck's.\u00a0 He's taking this really seriously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u2026 bring them under control, and so I'm going to ask you, as a young man, to guard my daughter's innocence \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Her sexual innocence, and her \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Oh, no, the birds and the bees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Not just guard her virginity by guard her emotional purity as well; being careful where you take her and what you expose her to.\u00a0 I'm going to ask you, as a young man, to truly protect her as a young lady.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Yes, sir, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, I want to thank you for asking out my daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Yes, sir, it's my privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And I\u2019m glad you're wanting to spend some time with her because she really is a quality young lady.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0Yes, sir, she is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And I think you're going to have a good time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate:\u00a0[thinking] Does this mean I passed? Do I get to take her out?\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 Oh, good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, September 27th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Has a conversation like that ever taken place at your house?\u00a0 Do you think it needs to?\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition, and we happen to have with us today the man who probably holds the record, the American \u2013 maybe the worldwide record \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Guinness Book, maybe?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Maybe \u2013 as the man who has interviewed more daughters' dates than any other man in the world.\u00a0 Don't you think?\u00a0 I mean, you stop and think about \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That would be kind of fun.\u00a0 If there are any dads who have interviewed more than \u2013 my guess is I interviewed somewhere between 30 and 40.\u00a0 I never \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Thirty and 40 different guys?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, I don't think I notched my belt or my bat.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You should have kept a little notch there, shouldn't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I should have done that.\u00a0 In fact, I could maybe try to re-create it, but I doubt if our \u2013 we could go back in our scrapbooks and look and see all of our daughters' dates because those guys, you know \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0There's a picture somewhere, isn't there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, I wore a seat out out there.\u00a0 I sat on a spot, and I put the guys on the swing on the porch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So you're kind of the Babe Ruth of date interviews, is what I'm thinking.\u00a0 You've probably had more at bats, and I'm guessing that it started off \u2013 the first few times you did this, you were kind of making it up as you went along and, over time \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Winging it, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It got better, and you started to add things and figured out what you wanted to accomplish right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No doubt about it.\u00a0 I mean, over the lifetime of interviewing young men, I interviewed two young men at once.\u00a0 That's a good way to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0They were not both taking out one daughter, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0They were taking out two of my daughters.\u00a0 I interviewed a young man and his dad.\u00a0 The dad wanted to be in on the meeting, so he came to be trained.\u00a0 I had one young man who came and said, \"Mr. Rainey, I don't want take any of your daughters out, I just want to be interviewed.\"\u00a0 And so Stephen came, and we had the interview, and it was a great time with Stephen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, we had all kinds, Bob, and that's the point I'd make here, is you don't have to follow my list of eight things that I talked about young men with \u2013 just make up your own and decide what you're going to do.\u00a0 But kind of the bottom line is what are you going to do to protect your daughters and, for that matter, your sons, as they begin the process of showing interest in the opposite sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We haven't gone through those eight things yet.\u00a0 We're going to do that before we're done here, but you have a friend who just did his first date interview for one of his daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Actually, he had two of his daughters who had two young men who asked to take them both out at the same time on a date, and it was some kind of prom-like experience in the fall, and he was just introducing the idea of the interview to all of his daughters, and so he decided, \"You know what?\u00a0 I'm going to take this concept, and I'm going to create what I called 'Interview Lite.'\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So you'd told him what you do, and he said, \"I'm going to\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's too much for the first interview.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And we asked our team after talking with your friend, to kind of re-create for our listeners what that experience was like for this dad and for those two young men, so they can hear a modified version of the Rainey Interview.\u00a0 This, again, is from your audio book for interviewing your daughter's date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0Now, if all this seems a bit too intense, if the thought of telling your daughter that you'll be interviewing her dates makes you break out in a cold sweat, not to mention the prospect of actually doing that interview, let me tell you how my friend, Steve, handled it the first time.\u00a0 He calls it \"Interview Lite.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When Steve told his two daughters about his plan to interview their dates, they pushed back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGirls:\u00a0Dad, please.\u00a0 What are you going to say to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Steve's responses let them know that he had given this a lot of thought, so they tried a different approach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaughter #1:\u00a0Dad, it's not like it's a date or anything.\u00a0 We're just hanging out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaughter #2:\u00a0We're just going to hang out and talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaughter #1:\u00a0Yeah, I mean, doesn't a date require, I mean, going someplace nice or something?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0If they were looking for a loophole, they didn't find one.\u00a0 Steve made it clear that a date was anytime a guy and a girl got together alone, in a group, and, most definitely, when just hanging out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But to make it easier on all of them, Steve decided to warm his daughters to the idea by interviewing both of their dates at the same time.\u00a0 For both girls, it was their first date, and they'd been invited to a Homecoming party.\u00a0 They planned to double-date as sisters, so Steve invited both of the young men to come over to his house for a little chat just before the date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Oh, hey, guys, come on in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Good evening, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0Hello, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0The girls will be down in a minute.\u00a0 Boy, we've got great weather for the party, don't we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Yes, sir, we do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0It's sure nice out there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Have a seat.\u00a0 Michael, Susie says that you have a convertible with a temperamental top, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Yeah, yeah, she would be right about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0So it's probably a good thing it stopped raining.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Well, this is going to be quite a night.\u00a0 Were you guys nervous when you asked the girls out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0Well, yeah, kind of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Yeah, a little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0I remember when I was in junior high, there was this girl named Tina in my science class.\u00a0 She was the first girl I was going to ever ask out.\u00a0 We were lab partners, and we got along great until I tried to get around to asking her to go to the dance with me.\u00a0 Then I couldn't talk in whole sentences, and I'd get stuck on \"Would you like to uh,\" I couldn't get it out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0And then she started finishing my sentences, you know, \"Would I like to what?\u00a0 Clean out the petri dish?\u00a0 Throw away the frog?\u00a0 What are you trying to say?\"\u00a0 And then I finally pushed through, and I got the words out, and I was shocked when she said, \"Sure, that would be cool.\"\u00a0 So I understand what it means to be nervous when you're asking a girl out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But, you know, I wanted to talk to you guys a little bit before you actually leave with the girls.\u00a0 The first thing I want to say is thank you for coming over here and talking to me, I really appreciate that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0You're welcome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0And the next thing I want to talk to you about is a little more serious.\u00a0 I just want to tell you a little bit about the girls and how we view things with them, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0All right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0I look at being their dad as a kind of stewardship.\u00a0 Are either of you familiar with that term?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Well, no, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0Not really.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Okay, well, it's a person who manages another person's property.\u00a0 You know, takes care of something valuable that actually belongs to somebody else, and that's how we see Susie and Emily.\u00a0 We're their parents, but we don't own them, you know?\u00a0 In a bigger sense, we've been given the job by God to be stewards, to take of them, to take good care of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0And by letting them go out with you guys tonight, we are transferring that stewardship over to you for the evening, see?\u00a0 We're expecting you to take good care of them and, by that, I mean keep them safe and protect their purity.\u00a0 That's a big responsibility, guys.\u00a0 If somebody comes into this dance at the gym with a gun, I expect you to step up and take a bullet for my girls, all right?\u00a0 Are you with me?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0It's that level that I'm talking about here, because basically we're asking you to step up to the plate and be the kind of man my girls would be proud of.\u00a0 I want to feel confident loaning them to you tonight, because you understand your responsibility \u2013 that just for tonight, you are being their stewards.\u00a0 You're taking good care of them, all right?\u00a0 You with me?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Mm-hm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0I'm with you, sir, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0All right, good.\u00a0 Well, have a great time and, remember, have them back by 11, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #2:\u00a0All right, thank you, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDate #1:\u00a0Okay, you got it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0Later, when his daughters asked what he had said to their dates, he filled them in and finished with \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Really, so basically I just told them they needed to be ready to be a man and protect you if anybody tried to hurt you, and that they needed to treat you with the respect that you deserve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0The girls' response was relief, and they said \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaughter #1:\u00a0Well, that's kind of cool, Dad, that you asked them to protect us.\u00a0 I mean, I like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaughter #2:\u00a0Yeah, yeah, and you didn't pull out the baby pictures and embarrass us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Oh, I didn't say I didn't take out the baby pictures.\u00a0 That one of you \u2013 remember?\u00a0 Oh, yeah \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0By going Interview Lite with this first date, Steve earned the early trust of his teenage daughters who now think the whole thing is pretty cool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0No, I didn't show them any pictures.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaughter #1:\u00a0Thanks, Dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[end audiobook segment]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, do you think he wimped out by not doing the full thing there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, no, I think it was a good idea because it built his daughters' confidence in him as a dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0He didn't really cover all eight of the things that you talk about a dad covering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Walk us through those eight, will you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0All right, number 1 \u2013 and, by the way, this first point, which I call \"Eight Steps to no Regrets,\" this first step has been preceded by a lot of small talk.\u00a0 I mean \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\"Tell me about your mom and dad, where do you work, who is your favorite teacher, what subject do you like in school?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\"Where do you go to church and what's been your experience with church and tell me about what's God doing in your life today?\"\u00a0 Those are all good questions that are fair questions to ask.\u00a0 But I turn the corner at a point after I have set it up, and I've said, \"You know, my daughter is extremely valuable.\u00a0 She's not a possession, but I am a steward of her for a period of time.\u00a0 So there are some things I want you to know, as a young man, in terms of just you and me having some common points of agreement that we need to talk about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And this first one goes all the way back to the Book of Genesis, chapter 2, where it talks about God creating them, male and female.\u00a0 And my first point is a woman is God's creation.\u00a0 She is a beautiful creation, a fine creation, and she is to be treated with nobility and respect and care and gentleness.\u00a0 And that's one of the great callings that you have as a young man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's really funny, Bob, as you being to talk about this, and you say, \"You know, you're going to get the chance to spend the evening with this fine creation of God.\u00a0 And, as her father, I am entrusting to you the care, the protection \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Mm-hm, her safety.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, yeah, all of that.\u00a0 Man-to-man, I'm counting on you, young man.\u00a0 And I'm very careful not to refer to them as boys.\u00a0 I am always careful to speak to them man-to-man, because that's what they are becoming.\u00a0 They are becoming young men.\u00a0 I mean, if you can fight and die for your country at 18 \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Drive a vehicle at 16.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I'm telling you, you've got some life-or-death issues there in front of you.\u00a0 So I talked to these young men, though, about how they have probably noticed that my daughter is pretty and attractive, and I talk about how God made that attraction and how, all the way back in the beginning of time when He made them male and female, that He made a man to be attracted to a woman \u2013 and that this young man has probably noticed that my daughter probably has a cute figure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, at this point, when you say something like that, the young man's eyes may dilate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Roll back in his head?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And if you ask him \u2013 and you've got to call this on your own, whether or not you do this \u2013 but I have, on occasion, asked a young man if he's noticed \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 her cute figure?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That God created her with a cute figure.\u00a0 And, you know, if you think about this, how is a young man to answer that?\u00a0 Because if he says \"No,\" you and he both now he's lying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Who's lying, right.\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0If he says, \"Yes,\" it's like you've caught him, and that's good for a grin and a chuckle, at that point.\u00a0 But, you know, it's good to talk about these things.\u00a0 You know what, young man?\u00a0 That's good, because God created you to notice those things.\u00a0 I mean, that attraction goes all the way back to how God designed men and women to be attracted to one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A second thing that I say is just hitchhiking right off of that is that the attraction of a young man to a young lady is both normal and very good, and at that point I get a chance to say, you know, \"I want to thank you for asking out my daughter, and I'm glad you're wanting to spend some time with her, because she really is a quality young lady, and I think you're going to have a good time with her, and I'm okay with that, and I hope you do have a really good time together.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And we may talk a little bit about that, but then, number 3, I say, \"I understand and remember what the sex drive of a young man who is in his late teens is really like.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Wow, you're diving right in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yup, and at that point, I'll basically say something to the effect \u2013 I say, \"I just want you to know that although, right now, I may be in my 40s\" or 50s or however old I may be, \"I want you to know I have not forgotten what it was like to have this burst within me, this, all of a sudden, an awakening to the opposite sex, and then this compulsion to want to be close and near a young lady and how much you like the way they smell, and the softness of their skin, and their beauty, and it's a wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I want you to know, I know how a young man thinks,\" and I've actually said to a young man, on occasion, that because of my work, I've done a certain amount of research in how young men think, and I've found out that for teenage boys who are 17, 18 years old, that they think about sex every seven seconds, and I know, because I know young men, that both those young men who were researched and surveyed that they were lying about the other six seconds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0[laughs]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So in other words, young man, we know, we both know \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It's on your mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It is on your mind all the time.\u00a0 And, you know, at that point in the conversation, you need a little joke like this, and don't expect him to bend over double laughing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It does get a little intimidating here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It gets a little intimidating at that point.\u00a0 Number 4, I'm going to hold you accountable for your relationship with my daughter.\u00a0 You need to expect to hear me asking you questions about how you're dealing with my daughter in all areas of her life \u2013 whether or not you're protecting her physically, whether you're protecting her morally, sexually, and whether or not you're keeping your hands and your lips off of my daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And that really leads us to point number 5 \u2013 I'm going to challenge you, as a young man, to set a different standard than this culture would give you.\u00a0 This culture would tell you, as a young man, that your passions are normal, just give into it.\u00a0 That you'll never be more of a man than when you just go ahead and allow your passions to rule.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But I\u2019m going to tell you, you're never more of a man in God's eyes than when you rule your passions, and you bring them under control.\u00a0 And so I'm going to ask you as a young man to guard my daughter's innocence and her purity and not just guard her virginity but guard her emotional purity as well \u2013 being careful where you take her and what you expose her to.\u00a0 I'm going to ask you to truly protect her as a young lady.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So you were asking him not to kiss her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, yeah, I actually ask guys to keep their hands and their lips off my daughter, and I'm no dummy.\u00a0 I know that some of those guys probably kissed.\u00a0 Now, had I seen them, I would have asked them, \"I thought we shook on that.\u00a0 I thought we agreed to that?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What am I trying to do here, set up a failure?\u00a0 No, I'm not.\u00a0 I'm trying to set up a high bottom.\u00a0 In other words, I'd rather set a high standard and fail from there than to have no standard at all, and allow kids to get sexually and emotionally and passionately involved and find themselves over the cliff with no standard whatsoever.\u00a0 I think this is a call every parent's got to make, but, for me, I felt comfortable talking to young men about setting a standard of purity that protects my daughter from going anywhere near the edge of the cliff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Think of it in terms of grades.\u00a0 You can challenge your child to get 100 on the test, and if they get a 95, you know, that's still great, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's still an A.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0But if you challenge them to just pass, and they don't, then that has significant consequences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's exactly right.\u00a0 And that really leads us to the 6th step, which we really kind of hit on here.\u00a0 I want you to respect and uphold the dignity of my daughter by keeping your hands off of her.\u00a0 And I just want him, as a young man, to know that I'm expecting that, and that I'm going to be asking him how he's doing in the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Number 7, do you understand everything I've just said to you?\u00a0 So it's kind of like what is there about the word \"no touch\" that you don't understand at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Are we clear?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And that's what I said, \"Are we clear about why I'm expecting and what you can expect from me?\"\u00a0 And I wait at that point and, usually, the young man will say, \"Yes, sir, Mr. Rainey.\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, can we shake on that, man-to-man?\"\u00a0 And I'll extend my hand.\u00a0 That's a good moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then I say, \"I've got one last thing to challenge you with here.\u00a0 When you're a dad someday, I hope you will challenge your children to abide by these standards and that if God blesses you with children, that you will interview your daughter's date.\u00a0 Can I count on you?\u00a0 Because you've been trained.\u00a0 You have now been through my interview, and\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Got your Rainey MBA.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\"I'll tell you what, and my prayer is you will never forget this conversation because you know what?\u00a0 I won't.\"\u00a0 And the reality is, Bob, I'll bet you none of those young men I interviewed will ever forget that conversation, because who else on the planet will you ever have a conversation of that kind of gritty intimacy, man-to-man, other than maybe your own father or grandfather.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But young men today, trust men, young men today need older men outside of their families who care enough about them as young men to call them to a higher standard.\u00a0 Here is the thing \u2013 I'd challenge dads who are listening right now, instead of just getting one book, buy a box.\u00a0 Get a box of these books and then start passing them out to all of your daughter's friends' dads so that they can get a picture of what this looks like as well and step up and help some young men to do that as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yes, and if you're interested in getting a box of books or a couple of boxes of these books, they are available at a discount as you purchase a quantity of them.\u00a0 Go to our website, FamilyLife.com, click the red button that you see on the home page that says \"Go\" on it.\u00a0 It's right near the center of the home page.\u00a0 That will take you to an area of the site where you can get more information on how to purchase either a single copy or multiple copies of the book or now the audiobook.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We've just released this in audiobook form, and the team did a great job, you and the team working together came up with a great package.\u00a0 This audiobook is a single CD, but it has a lot of features on it, a lot of some of the things we've heard this week on our program.\u00a0 Again, there is more information about the audiobook and the hardback book on our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Click the red button that says \"Go,\" that you see in the middle of the home page, and that will take you to the area of the site where you can get more information about all of these resources, or you can order online, if you'd like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can also call us, 1-800-FLTODAY, is the toll-free number.\u00a0 It's 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 Someone on our team will let you know how you can have the resources we've talked about today sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I remember being at one of our FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences one time and listening as a speaker asked everybody in the audience, \"Who's got conflict in your marriage?\"\u00a0 And, of course, everybody raised their hand because, as he said, he said, \"I've got conflicts, and you've got conflicts, and all God's children got what?\u00a0 Got conflicts.\"\u00a0 And that's the reality.\u00a0 Conflict is common in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What is uncommon is for folks to know how to handle conflict biblically, appropriately, and get to a point where a husband and wife are able to resolve that conflict in an appropriate manner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0A few weeks ago, we had Tim and Joy Downs join us as guests on FamilyLife Today, talking about conflict in marriage, and those programs were very well received.\u00a0 We thought that we'd like to make the CDs of those programs available this week to any of our listeners who can help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Because we're listener-supported, we depend on those donations to be able to continue the work of FamilyLife Today, and so we wanted to offer them as a thank you gift to those of you who can support us this week with a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can make your donation online at FamilyLife.com, as many folks are doing these days, and we appreciate those of you who are using the Internet to make your donation.\u00a0 As you do that, when you come to the keycode box on the donation form, type the word \"seven\" in there, and that will let us know that you're interested in getting these CDs from Tim and Joy Downs, or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 You can make your donation right over the phone and, again, just mention that you'd like the CDs on conflict, and we'll know to send those out to you.\u00a0 And, again, thanks for standing with us, being a partner with us in the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We appreciate hearing from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow we want to talk about having no regrets as a parent by persevering, by sticking with it even when things get tough, as a dad.\u00a0 We'll talk about the benefits of interviewing your daughter's dates on tomorrow's program, and I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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