{"id":301442,"date":"2007-09-26T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-09-26T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-how-tos\/"},"modified":"2007-09-26T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-09-26T15:00:00","slug":"the-how-tos","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-how-tos\/","title":{"rendered":"The How-To&#8217;s"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can you interview your daughter&#8217;s date?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-09-26.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.48M","filesize_raw":"10989962","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2836],"tags":[4972],"podcast_series":[7542],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301442","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-girls","tag-protecting-your-daughter","podcast_series-interviewing-your-daughters-date-drama","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301442\/the-how-tos","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301442\/the-how-tos","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"15lTiKcdOG\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-how-tos\/\">The How-To&#8217;s<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-how-tos\/embed\/#?secret=15lTiKcdOG\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The How-To&#8217;s&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"15lTiKcdOG\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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experiencing any technical difficulties listening to FamilyLife Today this week?\u00a0 Any problems?\u00a0 We may have discovered a reason why.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[radio dial sounds]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad:\u00a0Okay, 97 point \u2013 Hey, Jordan, you wouldn't happen to know why this radio is so messed up, would you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJordan:\u00a0Why do you always blame me?\u00a0 Gosh, it's just not working, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad:\u00a0It was fine yesterday, but I can't seem to get FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJordan:\u00a0Yeah, whatever, okay.\u00a0 Hey, did Mom tell you that I need a ride over to Carolyn's.\u00a0 We're going to watch some movies.\u00a0 We need to go in just a sec, all right?\u00a0 [on the phone] Carolyn, I'll be over in just a second.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTeenager:\u00a0Hey, Dan, when you get a second, could you look at the computer for me?\u00a0 I was going to listen to that Dennis Rainey \"Interviewing Your Daughter's Date\" stuff, but I can't get the sound to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad:\u00a0Oh, this is hopeless.\u00a0 I'm coming.\u00a0 Did you turn the speakers on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTeenager:\u00a0Well, duh, of course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDan:\u00a0All right, let me just take a quick look here.\u00a0 All right, there's your problem, it looks like somebody changed all the settings and all the preferences.\u00a0 So it will just take a second, I'll have it back where it was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTeenager:\u00a0Hey, Dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad:\u00a0Yeah, son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTeenager:\u00a0Where's the CD player?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad:\u00a0It should be in the cabinet where it's supposed to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTeenager:\u00a0I don't think so, it's not there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad:\u00a0For crying out loud, what is going on?\u00a0 If it's not one thing, it's another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTeenager:\u00a0Wait a minute, wait a minute, the radio, the computer, the CD player, \"Interviewing Your Daughter's Date?\"\u00a0 Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll:\u00a0Jordan!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, September 26th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We trust there is no suspicious electronic activity happening at your house.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 We trust that your radio is still functioning; that your Internet connection is still working; that somehow your teenage daughter has not tampered with the electronics around your house to try to prevent you \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Jamming \u2013 you think some teenagers who are trying to jam the signal of what we've been talking about this week?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm just thinking there are some who are going, \"I do not want this idea to catch on with my dad,\" you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We're talking about how we can equip dads and single parents and, for that matter, moms as well, in how you can interview your daughter's date.\u00a0 And whether she's going out on a group date, a double date, and individual date alone with the opposite sex, I think you're called, as a dad or single parent mom or, for that matter, a mom to intersect their lives and to find out who this person is they're going out with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I love the passage in Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 15.\u00a0 In fact, we haven't read this passage here on FamilyLife Today in a few years.\u00a0 I think it's time to dust it off \u2013 \"Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time because the days are evil.\u00a0 So then do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, I can tell you what the will of the Lord is.\u00a0 The will of the Lord is that parents be involved in their teenage daughter's life \u2013 son, as well \u2013 as they enter in these perilous years of going out with the opposite sex.\u00a0 It is a wholesome, healthy, respectful way of engaging around the subject of dating, and checking out the guys they're going to go out on a date with and finding out what they're made of and who they are and what kind of home they came from.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We have heard this week you talk about why this is important and how you get ready to do it.\u00a0 In your book, \"Interviewing Your Daughter's Date,\" you have a \u2013 I guess it's kind of a composite scene \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, actually, it's not a composite scene.\u00a0 It really, to the best of my recollection, is the story of when I first interviewed Kevin.\u00a0 Now, undoubtedly, the first interview that I did with the first young who took out our oldest daughter, I probably didn't do as good a job as I'd like to think I did, but this is meant to kind of re-cast what I did on that first interview with Kevin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I'll never forget, Bob, he was going to come over to the office, and I thought, \"You know, I can choose to sit behind my desk and seat him in front of the desk\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0In a chair that's real low, and you're up real high.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, yeah, you got the picture.\u00a0 Or \u2013 you know what?\u00a0 This is intimidating enough \u2013 just for him to come talk to me.\u00a0 I think I need to get out from behind the desk.\u00a0 In fact, I called Ashley and asked what Kevin's favorite soft drink was, and so when my receptionist called and said I had a young man who was there to meet with me, I stopped by and plunked down 50 cents and got a can of Coke, and I got a Diet Dr. Pepper, which is what I like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We walked outside and had our interview in the parking lot, and it was interesting.\u00a0 Kevin came on a motorbike, and we leaned up against his motorcycle \u2013 and I see our engineer, Keith Lynch, giving me two thumbs up \u2013 he's a motorcycle guy.\u00a0 Are you the proud owner of a motorcycle, Keith?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, he is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Three!\u00a0 He has three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0His sons are driving them, too, so he's \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And he doesn't have a daughter, but, Keith, I wish you had a daughter and could walk outside to the first young man who wants to take your daughter out on a date and lean up against a Harley, a Hog.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Kevin didn't have a Harley.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Kevin did not have a Harley.\u00a0 In fact, he assured me he had regular wheels when he and Ashley were about to go out on the date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0We asked our team to take your recollection of that first date, which is in your book, \"Interviewing Your Daughter's Date,\" and dramatize it for us, and they go someone to play you during this re-creation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I hope he's kind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Of that historic event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I was kind.\u00a0 I was not mean-spirited about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0See if this brings back some memories for you.\u00a0 This is from the audiobook of \"Interviewing Your Daughter's Date.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0(From videotape.)\u00a0 As of today, I've conducted this type of interview with our four daughters' dates somewhere between 30 and 40 times.\u00a0 For the most part, these encounters have allowed me to get to know several young men who would make their parents proud.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's been a little nerve-wracking not just for the boys but even for me, the one who is in control and asking the hard questions.\u00a0 So let's get this out of the way at the beginning.\u00a0 Yes, I was nervous \u2013 every time.\u00a0 But it was worth it \u2013 every time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I was seated at my desk barely able to concentrate.\u00a0 I shifted some papers, opened some drawers, glanced out of the window, shifted more papers, opened more drawers, glanced out the window, shifted papers.\u00a0 I felt like I was expecting an important phone call and was trying to do something productive while waiting, but it wasn't working and neither was I.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Finally \u2013 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReceptionist:\u00a0Dennis, excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt you, I know you're busy, but the front desk just called, and there's a Kevin Logan waiting for you in the lobby.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, Dennis, deep breath, you're an adult here, you can do this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReceptionist:\u00a0Is this a meeting I should take notes on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, no, nothing like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReceptionist:\u00a0Is there anything else I can do for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You can pray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0Yes, I was about to interview the first of many young men who wanted to have a date with one of my daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I got to my feet, walked across the room, still amazed how nervous I was, and stepped into the lobby to meet Kevin, the only person in the building more anxious and ill-at-ease than I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Good afternoon, Kevin.\u00a0 Glad you could make it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Oh, hey.\u00a0 I mean, hello, Mr. Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0How's about we go down and get something from the Coke machine, I hear you're a Dr. Pepper man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So were you born here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0Riding a very thin wave of forced, uncomfortable chitchat, we walked down to the break room where I dug into my pocket for a supply of quarters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So, Kevin, I really do appreciate you coming by today.\u00a0 I wanted to get a chance to, well, just meet you and have a little time to talk before we discuss going on a date with my daughter, Ashley.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0How many quarters am I supposed to put in this thing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Oh, I think it takes two, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Uh, I think I just put in about nine, so that probably should do it.\u00a0 Anyway, Dr. Pepper, wasn't it, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yeah, thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There we go.\u00a0 Anyway, this is just a chance for to have a chat and get to know you a little.\u00a0 So you and Ashley met at school, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yeah, we had to do a design project together for the newspaper and got to talking, and it just kind of went from there in terms of liking her kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, now, you know, I noticed you've got a helmet with you.\u00a0 You ride a motorcycle?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yeah, it's right outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0What do you say we go out and take a look at it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0We walked outside, my mind reeling \u2013 motorcycle?\u00a0 This wasn't exactly how I wanted Ashley to go out on her very first date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0It's still a little wet, I just washed it before coming here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Nice bike.\u00a0 So this is it.\u00a0 What you'd be taking Ashley to the concert on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yeah, but I'm a really safe driver, so you don't have to worry about it.\u00a0 And Ashley said she likes motorcycles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0I popped the tab of my soft drink and looked squarely into the same eyes that enjoyed looking at my 16-year-old daughter.\u00a0 I took a breath and started with the basics.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, you said before that you just moved here, so you're fairly new to the area, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Right.\u00a0 My dad got transferred here last spring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And what does he do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0He sells health insurance to businesses.\u00a0 So they transferred him to be regional manager here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Sounds like a good job.\u00a0 Are you thinking of going into something like that for yourself.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I'm hoping to do more like graphic arts or filmmaking, something like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0My brother is more of the salesman type.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh.\u00a0 Well, tell me about your family.\u00a0 Do you have more than one brother?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0I've got a brother and a sister.\u00a0 She's in college \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis [Narrating]:\u00a0As our chat continued, my mind began to wander a bit.\u00a0 I couldn't believe I was in the midst of doing this \u2013 that my little princess was already old enough to be going on a date.\u00a0 Not my Ashley.\u00a0 Wasn't it just yesterday that I was dating her myself?\u00a0 You see, I'd taken Ashley out on numerous occasions when she was younger.\u00a0 I started dating her and my other daughters when they were three or four years old.\u00a0 Sometimes I'd really try to do it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0On one specific evening when Ashley was 12, I pulled into the driveway and met her at the door.\u00a0 Her mother was there to see us off to inquire about where we were planning to go and when we'd be back.\u00a0 And then we were off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I, of course, was every bit the perfect gentleman, holding the car door open, ordering for her at the restaurant, treating her with all the common courtesies a woman should expect from a man.\u00a0 We just enjoyed ourselves talking, laughing, sharing memories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then there were some serious moments, too.\u00a0 We talked in simple terms about what dating really is; about what she should expect from a young man.\u00a0 I also prepared her for the fact that before she could accept a boy's invitation to go out on a date, I needed the chance to talk to him first, to interview him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, I don't know what you'd expect a 12-year-old girl to say in response to that, but Barbara and I have enough daughters to assure you that this sounded like a good thing to all our girls at that age, including Ashley on that night.\u00a0 It sounded normal to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But even if she hadn't said so, I am absolutely convinced that all our daughters, both yours and mine, deeply want this kind of loving attention and protection from us.\u00a0 It makes so many things so much easier on her.\u00a0 It takes a lot of worry off her mind knowing that Dad is watching her back, keeping her save, doing his job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So when the time finally came for Ashley to be asked out by a real, live boy, it was only natural for her to say to him, \"My dad needs to talk to you first.\"\u00a0 Now, that's my girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, sir, that's my girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Sir?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, oh, I was just thinking of Ashley, some of the fun we've had.\u00a0 I tell you, Kevin, I'm really glad to get to know you a little better this afternoon, but before giving Ashley permission to go to the concert, I need to talk to you about a couple of really important things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's okay, Kevin, you can look me in the eye, I'm not going to bite.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Oh, yeah, I was just noticing that your tie is really, like, red.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Maroon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Oh, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I want to talk to you about Ashley, Kevin.\u00a0 You may have noticed this by now, but God made a wonderful thing when He made women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And God made men and women different.\u00a0 You may have noticed some of those differences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Uh, yeah, I think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Actually, the great thing is that God made us different so that men and women would be attracted to one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Uh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you've probably noticed the God made Ashley pretty attractive.\u00a0 She's a cute girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yes, she is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0With a cute figure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yeah, I mean \u2013 she is, you know, it's there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right.\u00a0 Look, you're a young man, and Ashley is a young lady.\u00a0 More than likely, she'll one day get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Kevin, I just want you to know that I was a teenager once, too, and I know what teenage boys think about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Uh, you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0 I remember seeing girls and thinking about them and wanting to date them so, believe me, I understand what boys think about when they think about girls.\u00a0 In fact, I've done a little research on this, and did you know that studies show that teenage boys think about sex every seven seconds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0[voice cracks] They do?\u00a0 [clears throat] I mean, they do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, and you and I both know they're probably lying about the other six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Heh-heh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Look, Kevin, I'm not trying to make you squirm here, I'm not sure how to put this subtly, so let me just say it, okay?\u00a0 I'd like you to keep your hands off my daughter, and I'd like to help you with that, because whether I see you at the door after your first date with Ashley or after your 50th date, you can expect me to ask you, \"Kevin, are you dealing honorably with my daughter?\"\u00a0 And I want you to know what I mean when I ask you that question.\u00a0 Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0I think so, yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Think about it, Kevin.\u00a0 Ashley is more than likely going to be someone's wife someday, and more than likely you're going to be married to someone yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0I'm still a junior in high school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I know that, but I mean someday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Well, yeah, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, so say your future wife is out with some guy tonight.\u00a0 Would you want that guy to be touching her body?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Well, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Good, because I don't want you touching Ashley's body for the same reason.\u00a0 Are we connecting here?\u00a0 Do you understand what I'm trying to say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Well, yeah, of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So when I say I'm going to hold you accountable do you know what I mean by that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yes, sir.\u00a0 I know what you're saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So when I say I'm expecting you to be pure in how you deal with Ashley, do you understand what I mean by purity?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Like, respect, like not doing stuff, like having sex?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I mean more than that.\u00a0 Like keeping your hands off of her.\u00a0 I mean not kissing her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I mean totally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Good, because I love Ashley, Kevin.\u00a0 She's my daughter, and having a daughter is an awesome responsibility.\u00a0 That's why we're having this talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0No, I get it.\u00a0 That's cool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Good.\u00a0 Because I'd like to challenge you that if God ever gives you the privilege of being a husband and a dad, especially if He gives you girls, I want you to take your role just as seriously as I take mine and talk to your daughters.\u00a0 Talk to your daughter's dates the way I've talked to you today.\u00a0 Will you promise me that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Yes, sir.\u00a0 Anything else?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, yes, actually.\u00a0 How about leaving the motorcycle home when you date Ashley.\u00a0 Can you take a car instead?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Oh, yeah, sure thing, Mr. Rainey.\u00a0 I can borrow my mom's car.\u00a0 It's got seatbelts and airbags and everything.\u00a0 She'll let me borrow her car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Good.\u00a0 Well, thank you, Kevin.\u00a0 You know, I really am proud of you for taking the time to talk to me about this important stuff.\u00a0 I'm sure it wasn't comfortable, but it really was good to meet you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKevin:\u00a0Same here.\u00a0 Can I go now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Sure.\u00a0 Get out of my sight.\u00a0 Take care, Kevin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[end audiobook segment]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Brought back a few memories, no doubt about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you remember how you felt when it was over, when you walked back in the office?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I don't know who was more relieved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You or Kevin?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's right.\u00a0 I mean, I'd never done it before.\u00a0 I'd never had a conversation like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Why is it so intimidating for dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Why would a dad \u2013 think about this \u2013 why would a dad \u2013 you know, here I was, how old was I then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You're a grownup, he's a pimply-faced kid, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, exactly.\u00a0 That was 16, 17 years ago; I was in my early 40s.\u00a0 Why would I be intimidated by a teenage young man?\u00a0 I think it's the content of the conversation.\u00a0 I think you're treading on a subject that is not popular.\u00a0 It goes against the grain of the culture that says \"Bug out, parents.\u00a0 This is our deal, we're adults.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Leave us alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, and if you don't think it's right, wait 'til you take your daughter away to college at 18 years of age.\u00a0 They don't even recognize you as the legal guardian in terms of communicating with you about how she's doing at college.\u00a0 You may pay the bills or may help with the bills of your daughter going to college, but the university \u2013 you can't have a conversation with the university about your daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so, truthfully, young men, frankly, want you to give up that right a little earlier than the age of 18.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Do you remember how long it was from the time you walked back into the office until you talked with Ashley, and she was saying, \"What did he say?\u00a0 What did you say?\u00a0 What did he say?\u00a0 What did you say?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It was that evening at the dinner table.\u00a0 We sat down at the dinner table, and she said, \"Okay, how did it go, Daddy?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so I relived the whole thing, and it was really cool at the end.\u00a0 As I recall, Ashley was beaming.\u00a0 She was really proud that I would care enough to interview her date, and, to my left, was my son, Benjamin, who, at the time, was, as I recall, about 14 maybe 15 years old, and he said, \"Dad, I think it's cool that you interviewed Kevin.\u00a0 In fact, I hope the first young lady that I ask to go out on a date with has a dad who asks to interview me.\"\u00a0 And he said, \"If I do, I'll know I'm in the right place dating the right young lady.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And the disappointing thing was, Bob, that I think with the exception of maybe Samuel, I only know of one interview that occurred with my sons.\u00a0 Frankly, although they didn't date that much, they needed that kind of accountability.\u00a0 I don't know of a young man today who doesn't need that kind of man-to-young man accountability that occurs because of that conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And as far as you know, the date went okay with Ashley and Kevin?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, uneventful, got her in on time.\u00a0 Actually, I made a real point about what time he was to bring her in, and I made a point that it was ahead of time, and I gave him a generous, you know, a generous curfew so that they didn't have to rush back and break traffic laws and speed, because that's not what you want them doing, either, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But we talked about all that.\u00a0 We talked our way through what they were going to do at the event they went to and then afterwards and what time we could expect her to be home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And she came in with her lipstick still in place, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 He was a gentleman, as far as I know, because he knew I was going to ask him to see if he had been a gentleman with my daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I have to imagine that a lot of dads who are going to get a book like this are going to look at it and think, \"I wouldn't say it exactly that way.\u00a0 I don't know that I'd phrase it that way, or I don't know that I'd ask that question.\"\u00a0 You're not saying that this is the canon when it comes to doing this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, no, no, no, no.\u00a0 The point is how are you going to do it?\u00a0 You know, craft your own interview.\u00a0 This is just meant to guide in the process, and I think, most importantly, Bob, I think there's two things men need \u2013 I think they need these eight steps, these eight bullets, to have the conversation with a young man about and then, secondly, I think they need the encouragement.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They need the cheerleader, and this is really a fun book where you're going to laugh a lot, and you're going to enjoy hearing how I went about doing it, and when you finish it, I think you'll see how simple it is and how easily it can be done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Mm-hm.\u00a0 And guys who do want to hear it can actually hear this book now because we have the audiobook available so you can take your choice.\u00a0 You can either get copies of the hardback book, which is an easy book to read.\u00a0 I think it's less than 100 pages, but it spells out for a guy the steps in the process of the interview.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Or you can order the audiobook, which is very well produced.\u00a0 I'm real pleased with the job that you and our team did in putting this together.\u00a0 The audiobook is available in our FamilyLife Resource Center as well.\u00a0 Go to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can click on the red \"Go\" button that you see on the home page right in the middle of the screen.\u00a0 That will take you to the area of the site where there is more information about the hardback book or about the audiobook, and you can purchase quantities of either the hardback book or the audiobook at a discounted price.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We've had some men who have contacted us and said, \"I'm interested in passing this out to other dads at our church or at the Christian school where my kids go, or even guys at work.\"\u00a0 It's a great way to begin to engage guys in a discussion about parenting that might lead to a discussion about spiritual matters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, our website is FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Click the red \"Go\" button you see in the middle of the screen for more information about these resources, or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That's 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, there's a group of folks who are regular listeners to FamilyLife Today that I want to say a thank you to.\u00a0 It's those of you who, from time to time, make a donation to our ministry to help support FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We're listener-supported, and those donations are vital for us to continue on this station and on other stations all across the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This week we wanted to make available a special thank you gift for anyone who can make a donation to FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We had Tim and Joy Downs on our program a few weeks ago talking about conflict in marriage \u2013 the seven different conflicts that are common to all marriage relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We got a great response to those programs, and so we thought we'd make the two-CD set of that broadcast available to our listeners this week to any of you who can help with a donation of any amount for the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 If you'd like to make a donation online, you can do that by going to our website, FamilyLife.com, and as you fill out the donation form, if you're interested in the CDs, just type the word \"seven\" in the keycode box when you come to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, the word is \"seven,\" and that will let us know that you'd like to get these CDs as our thank you for your financial support.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY and make your donation over the phone, and if you do that, just mention you'd like the CDs on conflict and, again, we're happy to send them out to you.\u00a0 It's our way of saying thanks for your financial support of the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us in what God is doing through the work of FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow we want to go through the eight steps to no regrets, the eight steps of what a dad needs to do as he interviews his daughter's potential date, and I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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