{"id":301417,"date":"2007-08-14T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-08-14T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-is-it-really-like-on-todays-college-campus\/"},"modified":"2007-08-14T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-08-14T15:00:00","slug":"what-is-it-really-like-on-todays-college-campus","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-it-really-like-on-todays-college-campus\/","title":{"rendered":"What is it Really Like on Today&#8217;s College Campus?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s it really like on today&#8217;s college campus?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-08-14.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.79M","filesize_raw":"12357636","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817,2821],"tags":[4705,4018],"podcast_series":[7533],"cwp_profile":[9033],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301417","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","category-reaching-out","tag-college","tag-dating","podcast_series-hooking-up-and-hanging-out","cwp_profile-elizabeth-marquardt","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301417\/what-is-it-really-like-on-todays-college-campus","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301417\/what-is-it-really-like-on-todays-college-campus","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ZDjCB6cUQQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-it-really-like-on-todays-college-campus\/\">What is it Really Like on Today&#8217;s College Campus?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-it-really-like-on-todays-college-campus\/embed\/#?secret=ZDjCB6cUQQ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What is it Really Like on Today&#8217;s College Campus?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ZDjCB6cUQQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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what a hookup means, you get all kinds of explanations.\u00a0 The big truth about hooking up is that it's a phrase that is useful because it is ambiguous.\u00a0 When someone says to their friend, \"I hooked up with so-and-so last night,\" no one really knows exactly what that means.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, August 14th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll talk today about what parents need to know about the whole hookup culture on college campuses and what really is happening.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 There was a book came out a year or two ago, I don't remember exactly when, and I wanted to read it, and I didn't want to read it, you know, it was one of those books \u2013 I saw it in a bookstore, and I thought, \"Man, I should probably read this, but I don't know that I really want to read it.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It was by the author, Tom Wolfe, who wrote \"The Bonfire of the Vanities,\" and a number of novels that really reflect what's going on in our culture, and it was a book called \"I Am Charlotte Simmons.\"\u00a0 Did you ever see it on bookstore stands?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I did not, but you and I have talked about it before.\u00a0 That's the only way I've heard about it, but you've talked about it enough times, I think it's time for me to get the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Oh \u2013 go ahead, sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0No, I want to get a recommendation from our guest today as to whether we should read this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Go ahead and introduce her, and then let's ask her real quick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Elizabeth Marquardt joins us on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 She is the director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values.\u00a0 She is an author and a researcher, and I guess you read the book, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And you rolled your eyes when \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0In fact, you moaned \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u2026 when I was saying I should get a copy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Just because, as a parent, or just anybody, it's hard reading, but I think Tom Wolfe is brilliant, and I think he did a terrific job of painting this portrait on a campus that is a lot like Duke University but it's not necessarily Duke University.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It's the story of a young woman \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0\u2026 he did it right, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 who goes to college and gets involved in a culture that you describe in the study that you did called \"Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Hoping for Mr. Right.\"\u00a0 Would you say that what he paints in the novel reflects what you found as you did your research study?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yes. He tells the story of one young woman.\u00a0 I think there are other stories that can be told, but in trying to sort of tell the narrative of one life, I think it's clear he did his research, not only reading studies like this, but he spent a lot of time on campuses and went to a lot of parties.\u00a0 I always wonder how Tom Wolfe in his white suit showing up at the \u2013 you know, he's in his 60s or 70s at that point, showing up at his daughter's campus parties \u2013 how that went over.\u00a0 But he clearly was paying attention.\u00a0 I think he got it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Your study was designed to explore the relationship culture on the college campus from a woman's perspective and overriding the whole study, and I found this very interesting \u2013 the vast majority of young women on the college campus today have marriage as an ultimate goal, don't they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0They do, and a lot of people don't know this because no one thinks to ask them.\u00a0 In fact, some people were offended when we released this report, that we had asked young women \u2013 yes or no, is marriage an important goal for you?\u00a0 That, alone, was \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Offended.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Offended that we would even talk to them about marriage.\u00a0 What are we doing talking to college women about marriage?\u00a0 It might distract them from their professional goals of, you know, they're not there to think about marriage.\u00a0 There's almost an agreement among their elders that you shouldn't even raise the topic with them because \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u2026 that's interesting \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0\u2026 the advice is don't get married too soon, keep your options open \u2013 those are the big things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, they're even saying something different than that.\u00a0 They're saying set your goal to be your career.\u00a0 Don't even think of defining your life around relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Right, and then these young women have their professional aspirations head that way when they're ready to think about marriage.\u00a0 The right guy might or might not be around, and then, even if he is, you know, women have this biological clock, and sometimes they start running into other problems, which brings us to another report that we'll talk about at some point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But when we asked young women how they feel about marriage, 83 percent said marriage is a very important goal of mine, not the only goal, it's not the only thing they want to do in life, but the majority of them agree marriage is an important goal for them, and 62 percent said, \"I would like to meet my future husband at college.\"\u00a0 Not that they want to get married their sophomore year or even the day they graduate, but this would seem to be a nice time to meet other young men with similar goals and aspirations and most of you are unconnected, and it's a good time to meet people, you'd think.\u00a0 So marriage is on their minds, but no one is talking to them about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And your study seems to indicate that if you wanted to have a healthy, happy lifelong committed marriage relationship, the college campus is not the place to go today to support that goal or to point you in that direction.\u00a0 Relationships are taken in a completely different direction there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0In general, they are.\u00a0 I will say that there are individual students who are able, through their faith, often to forge a way through this and to meet other like-minded persons and to form healthy relationships and often meet their future spouse at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But, overall, the norms on campuses do not support and actually harm, I think, the marriage goals of our young women, particularly this hooking up thing \u2013 one of the things that just astonished me about it \u2013 I actually come from a fairly laid-back background, so I wasn't all that surprised to hear about hooking up, and I went to college, too, and none of this was very unfamiliar to me, in a sense, but what really troubled me, even as a somewhat liberal person, was hearing young women talk about the goal of the hookup is to have a sexual encounter with someone without feeling anything for that person, and if you feel something for the person, you're the one with the problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so these women would say, \"I had to stop the hookup thing because I would hook up with this guy, I'd see him the next day on the library or the cafeteria, and he would ignore me, and that would hurt my feelings, and I'd be all torn up about it, and it was clear to me I just couldn't get with this hookup thing.\u00a0 I just couldn't do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you have feelings for the person, you're the one with the problem, and this attempt in the hookup to separate sexual activity of some kind from feeling was what really troubled me, and I asked myself how many times can you do that?\u00a0 How many times can you put a box around your heart and give someone your body in some way and not your heart \u2013 how many times can you do that and that not impact your ability to form a trust, healthy, happy marriage later on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I don't think you could do it once very effectively, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's interesting, in the '60s and '70s, on the college campus, it seemed, when I was there, that it sought to separate commitment from the sex act and from engaging in that activity.\u00a0 Now you're saying we're going a step further.\u00a0 We're trying to remove the emotions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yes, and I want to say there are nice guys, and we looked at the phenomenon of the nice guys, too, and one young woman, she said to me, \"You know, my friends and I talk about it.\u00a0 It's like, well, Jeremy's a nice guy, and Joey's a nice guy, and Billy's a nice guy, but we don't really go for the nice guys.\u00a0 We just kind of go for the players.\"\u00a0 So I just want to put in a word for the nice guys who are trying to do it right in a culture that's not helping them, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So a guy who wants to court a woman and send her flowers and call her up and send her e-mails, sometimes he's looked at as kind of like a stalker, you know?\u00a0 He's a little too persistent and what's his problem, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0A stalker?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yes, or you ask a girl out on a date before you've even hung out together or something, and it's kind of \u2013 it's a funny thing \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Nice guys are weird, basically.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Nice guys are kind of weird. You don't know what to make of them.\u00a0 The player is the reigning type on campus.\u00a0 The player \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And the player is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0The guy who hooks up a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's the guy who wants sex without any commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Just get together, have sex, not feel anything \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0And that's the player.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And the girls are looking around and going, \"He's desirable,\" but there's another part of them going, \"Well, no, he's not,\" because he's a player.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Women, in a sense, have always been attracted to the bad boys \u2013 you know, with James Dean, and long before that, many examples.\u00a0 So we need a courtship culture, not just to guide the men but also to guide the women as well \u2013 that, sure, there's a part of us, you know, it's the same way that we want an all-you-can-eat buffet, we want to eat too much.\u00a0 There's a part of us that are drawn to, kind of, like, the dangerous side of life and overdoing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I want to stop you because you said earlier that when you were six years old, you were a feminist.\u00a0 Now, I want you to just hear what you just said.\u00a0 You just said, \"We need a courtship culture.\"\u00a0 Elizabeth, do you really believe that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0That we need a courtship culture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0In the sense I believe we need a guiding dialog initiated by the elders, and that might sound a little too soft for some, but I do respect \u2013 I'm a very independent woman, and I like my independence, and I like strong women, and so that's not going to change for me as something that's important to me, but I also know that I need, and we all need, lasting relationships for our own sake and especially for our children's sake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so we have to find a way among the sexes to balance those individual desires for \u2013 you know, just to satisfy, you know, lust, with our desire to love and be loved in a lasting way that is good for us and good for society, but it is especially good for our children.\u00a0 And how do we balance all that out?\u00a0 That's kind of my question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So I think when it comes to a culture of courtship, we need a guiding dialog and by that I mean I think that parents need not just to tell their kids what to do, but they need to know what's going on in their kids' lives, and that's where I think research is just one piece of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I had so many young women come up to me when I would talk on campuses about this report and say to me, \"My parents don't know any of this.\u00a0 They don't know anything that you wrote about.\u00a0 They don't know what's going on here at all.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I would say, kind of not really tongue-in-cheek, I'd say, \"Well, do you want to maybe just send them a copy of the report, you know?\"\u00a0 And they'd go, \"Yeah, maybe I should do that,\" because they didn't really want all this to be a secret from their parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They were hurting, and they were confused, and they didn't know what to make of it, and they kind of felt like their parents weren't asking questions and didn't really care \u2013 that their parents were kind of operating on the assumptions from their own experience 30 years before and mostly not saying very much because maybe they were divorced or they had made their own mistakes or whatever.\u00a0 They didn't know what to say, and the women often felt very alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so when I look at what we need, I think we need the older generation to take the time to be uncomfortable to engage \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0\u2026 with the younger generation and where they are and then not just to listen and learn but also to say something \u2013 to take the risk to say something, because the young women who said to us, \"I was raised with high expectations about how men should treat me.\u00a0 They didn't hook up.\u00a0 They knew that they should expect better than this.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, bingo, and the parents had trained them to expect that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 The young people who are listening, they're rolling their eyes, and they're looking away, but they're listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm just curious \u2013 is the 36-year-old independent, strong, social scientist, Elizabeth Marquardt surprised at the conservative findings \u2013 are you surprised to hear you saying what you're saying considering that you were a six-year-old feminist, and I'm imagining when you were a 20-year-old college student, you probably rolled your eyes at a bunch of the stuff that you're saying today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0As a 20-year-old, I did roll my eyes a fair bit, but there weren't many opportunities to roll my eyes, because my parents are wonderful people, but I wasn't getting much guidance from them or anybody else about this set of issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The funny place that I find myself in is that on the one hand I was raised in a very, very liberal, open, in many ways, very permissive environment.\u00a0 And because of that, I appreciate more than a lot of people, stability, loyalty, commitment, what that does for people \u2013 for young people and for as you're growing older.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So when people who\u00a0 \u2013 a lot of times in our culture, the people who are kind of saying, \"Oh, any kind of family form is fine, and children do fine no matter what, and all we need to do is just to support families wherever we find them and not making people feel bad and not talk about how divorce is bad.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Those people, I always eventually find out they grew up with a mom and a dad who stayed married to each other, and they had their brothers and sisters and they claim there is no \"Leave it to Beaver\" type family, and often they grew up in one, and they're the first ones to say, \"It doesn't matter, we can dismantle the whole thing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, I didn't grow up in a \"Leave it to Beaver\" family, and I know that constant turmoil hurts adults, and it hurts children, and what we need are structures that support people, and a lot of that, when you talk about the truths in the Bible, a lot of that is there are these timeless truths that \u2013 the Golden Rule, \"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.\"\u00a0 Treat people right.\u00a0 Stay together through thick and thin, don't just feed your desires because that's the thing that's most on your mind at any one moment.\u00a0 Do the right thing and, in the long term, that will be the best thing for you and your family and your community.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But you don't do it just for some kind of utilitarian reason that you'll get something out of it in return.\u00a0 You do it because it's the right thing to do, and because the first commandment is to love, and love is hard, and so do it even when it's hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, you just mentioned several things I want to comment on.\u00a0 First of all, your desire for relationships were made by God for relationships.\u00a0 That's why Jesus summarized the Old Testament \u2013 love your God with all your heart and love your neighbor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The second thing you mentioned is that of parents engaging their children and needing to step in even when the kids don't want them there and we've got to keep doing it, all the way through elementary-age children, junior high, high school, and even when they become adults at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I've found with your youngest, Laura, she went through college, you know.\u00a0 I had to constantly fight a current within me that just wanted to kind of let her go, but I had to realize, you know what?\u00a0 She still needs a daddy.\u00a0 She still needs a daddy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then the third thing I just want to say is when you get ready to talk, as a parent, you have to say something, you have to speak from that reservoir of truth that is the age-old reservoir that came from God in the first place, the Scriptures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I think, in many regards, Elizabeth, this culture has tried to take that sword of truth out of the hands of parents and tried to render them helpless and hopeless and weak and impotent and say to them, \"You don't have any authority.\u00a0 The real authorities are in the colleges and institutions and, for that matter, in the think tanks around the country.\u00a0 Those are where the real authorities are.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I couldn't agree with you more that that's a serious problem.\u00a0 It's the tyranny of the experts, as some call it.\u00a0 This idea that you can't speak about something unless you're an expert in the topic or you have a Ph.D. in it or something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I wrote an op-ed one time, and it was headlined, \"Fathers Should Speak Up About Co-Ed Dorms,\" because one of the things that really struck me when I was talking about this report all over the place was how many fathers would say to me, kind of, off the record, like, they would sort of take me aside and say, you know, talking about their daughters \u2013 \"You know, the day I dropped my daughter off at college and paying all this money, put her in \u2013 and she's got this co-ed dorm, and there's these guys who, like, live right in the hall, and they're sharing the bathroom, and that just seemed really weird to me and, of course, I didn't say anything about it because I don't want to seem uncool,\" and blah blah, you know, and they would sort of just dismiss it, and I just thought, \"Here are all these dads forking out all this money for tuition, really troubled by this co-ed dorm thing and feeling like they can't say anything because that will make them square or nobody will listen or that somehow it's the college who is in control and not them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's like, no, these colleges are listening, they are financial institutions, and they listen to where the money comes from, and the parents are paying the money, and they should speak up if they're concerned about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0When we were students, it was a big deal if you had a woman come to your room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0And there were rules, right \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0The door \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Door open, feet on the floor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There you are and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I've heard about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, that was back before \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0It sounds so cute and clean, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It was back before the earth's crust hardened.\u00a0 There were dinosaurs walking on the earth, Elizabeth.\u00a0 But, nonetheless, that was the rule-burden culture we grew up in and, I want to tell you, it was pretty simple, you know?\u00a0 There weren't any women in the restroom when I went in to shave or shower or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And it's not like there was no \u2013 I was about to say there was no hooking up \u2013 I guess \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, it was there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0But not the kind of \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But not like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, not like what you've got on the college campus today.\u00a0 Back then there were more social mores, social restraints.\u00a0 There was a culture that promoted a different kind of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And as I look at your study, Elizabeth, and you look on the college campus, you talk to women on the college campus, and I think, in some ways, college campuses are just little mini-societies.\u00a0 Are there some that are doing it right?\u00a0 In other words, is there something we can learn from some cultures where you'd say, \"They seem to have it together.\u00a0 The hooking-up culture isn't prevalent here,\" and maybe we could learn something for our culture, as a whole.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0It's a great question.\u00a0 Among the campuses where we visited in person, I can't say that I saw one that I would hold up as a model.\u00a0 I will say that our on-campus interviews did not include Christian colleges, and I think it would be a terrific idea to visit Christian colleges to do this study and to see if they're doing it better.\u00a0 I hope and think they would be, and I'd really like to know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0There might be some college campuses where there aren't co-ed dorms today and where there are still a few of the old rules around and where the hookup culture hasn't taken over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0And the students are happier and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And maybe if the word go out, people would say, \"Huh,\" you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, you know, I'm just thinking back over our conversation here today, and I'm thinking, you know, I'm not really into boycotts with the one exception of Abercrombie and Fitch \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yeah, that's a good boycott.\u00a0 Don't buy their stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I'm sorry, I've been on them for, you know, 10 years, and I'm not going to get off of them, I'm really not.\u00a0 It's just a corporate tragedy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But I wonder if we need a movement of daddies who will band together to call the chancellors of major colleges and universities around the country.\u00a0 Now, you know, there are broadcasts where we get people calling the White House or they call their senator, they call their congressman or whatever, and I think those things are fair \u2013 to express our opinion and get our opinion out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But I wonder, I just wonder, what would happen if \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Organize the daddies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0If you could get the daddies in a state to target \u2013 like the University of Michigan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yeah, like a state university so you could talk to legislators, too, but, yeah, target the trustees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Enough of this nonsense of co-ed dorms.\u00a0 We need men to be men, and if they behave badly \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Hire security guards, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Call the police.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, absolutely, don't bring in the women to domesticate them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Exactly.\u00a0 Why use my daughter \u2013 huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0That's a good argument.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Why use my daughter \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Who I protected all these years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Exactly, and expose them to that \u2013 to tame the barbarian?\u00a0 I'm willing to give my daughter to one man \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0One barbarian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0But not a dorm full of them.\u00a0 One barbarian only.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We're going to think more about this, and you may need to go to FamilyLife.com to see if there is some way we can kind of put something together here and I don't know where we'll start, Bob, but it seems like we ought to start with a couple of high-visibility schools where you might be able to effect some change here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Okay, you get that look in your eye, and I always worry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I love this.\u00a0 I'm not worried.\u00a0 This sounds great, I think it sounds great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It does sound great, we're just never sure exactly \u2013 we don't have anything on our website that you can fill out or anything that you can do, or numbers or addresses or anything, but I guess any of our listeners could go to the websites of the college campuses in your community or in your state and call the president and say, \"You know, I have a son or a daughter that's thinking about going there.\u00a0 What's the deal with all these co-ed dorms?\u00a0 And can I get my daughter in a dorm that's all women?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, what you might want to do is print out a copy of the report that Elizabeth has authored that we have on our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 There is the PDF file of that report.\u00a0 You can print it out or download it to our computer, if you'd like, and it lays out all of the details of what's really happening on college campuses in this hooking-up culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and if you click the red \"Go\" button there, it will take you to the area of the site where you can download a copy of this report at no cost.\u00a0 There is also information about resources that are available from us here at FamilyLife that have been designed to address the issues of what's going on in the hearts of young men and young women around this issue of purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Books like Josh Harris's book, \"Sex is not the Problem, Lust Is,\" and even a book like the one that you wrote, Dennis, \"Interviewing Your Daughter's Date,\" that's available in our FamilyLife Resource Center as well.\u00a0 The book, \"Every Man's Battle,\" and \"Every Young Man's Battle,\" by Fred Stoker dealing with the subject of pornography and purity; \"Every Woman's Battle,\" by Shannon Etheridge, that's available from us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Go to the website, FamilyLife.com, click the red button that says \"Go,\" and, again, that will take you to the area of the site where you can not only get a copy of Elizabeth's report, but you can also order some of these resources that you may find helpful as you work with your teenagers on cultivating a heart that is inclined toward purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can also call us, if you'd prefer it.\u00a0 The number is 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 We do have folks available to take your calls and help you with any questions you might have about these resources we've talked about.\u00a0 Again, the number is 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and you can feel free to give us a call.\u00a0 We'd love to help you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, as we talk about challenging teenagers to have a heart for purity, there is another challenge that is going on this month here at FamilyLife as many of our listeners have been contacting us to make donations to the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and they have been participating in our August Challenge Fund.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In addition to making a donation, they have been challenging other listeners to join with them and to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 A lot of listeners who have benefited from this radio program have said, \"I want to challenge others who have benefited from listener to FamilyLife Today.\"\u00a0 We had a listener with a $25 challenge to other fmalt listeners.\u00a0 And we heard from someone who is not only a listener but has also attended a Weekend to Remember conference and wanted to challenge those of you who have benefited from the conference.\u00a0 Now, this person made a $500 challenge gift, and we appreciate that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We hope to hear from as many listeners as possible this month with whatever kind of donation you can make, and we're also hoping you will issue a challenge of your own to encourage listeners to be a part of the Challenge Fund during the month of August.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can make your donation online at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can also make your challenge online when you fill out your donation form.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make your donation over the phone and just mention who you'd like to challenge to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and we appreciate hearing from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow we're going to be back with our guest, Elizabeth Marquardt.\u00a0 We're going to hear more about what is really happening on today's college campuses and about this whole hooking-up culture.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["11.79M"],"filesize_raw":["12357636"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301417.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301417.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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it really like on today's college campus?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-08-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Britney Spears sings \"The Hook Up\")\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0According to author and researcher, Elizabeth Marquardt, it means whatever the young man and the young woman want it to mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0When you go out to college campuses, and you talk to young women on campus about what a hookup means, you get all kinds of explanations.\u00a0 The big truth about hooking up is that it's a phrase that is useful because it is ambiguous.\u00a0 When someone says to their friend, \"I hooked up with so-and-so last night,\" no one really knows exactly what that means.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, August 14th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll talk today about what parents need to know about the whole hookup culture on college campuses and what really is happening.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 There was a book came out a year or two ago, I don't remember exactly when, and I wanted to read it, and I didn't want to read it, you know, it was one of those books \u2013 I saw it in a bookstore, and I thought, \"Man, I should probably read this, but I don't know that I really want to read it.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It was by the author, Tom Wolfe, who wrote \"The Bonfire of the Vanities,\" and a number of novels that really reflect what's going on in our culture, and it was a book called \"I Am Charlotte Simmons.\"\u00a0 Did you ever see it on bookstore stands?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I did not, but you and I have talked about it before.\u00a0 That's the only way I've heard about it, but you've talked about it enough times, I think it's time for me to get the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Oh \u2013 go ahead, sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0No, I want to get a recommendation from our guest today as to whether we should read this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Go ahead and introduce her, and then let's ask her real quick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Elizabeth Marquardt joins us on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 She is the director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values.\u00a0 She is an author and a researcher, and I guess you read the book, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And you rolled your eyes when \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0In fact, you moaned \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u2026 when I was saying I should get a copy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Just because, as a parent, or just anybody, it's hard reading, but I think Tom Wolfe is brilliant, and I think he did a terrific job of painting this portrait on a campus that is a lot like Duke University but it's not necessarily Duke University.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It's the story of a young woman \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0\u2026 he did it right, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 who goes to college and gets involved in a culture that you describe in the study that you did called \"Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Hoping for Mr. Right.\"\u00a0 Would you say that what he paints in the novel reflects what you found as you did your research study?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yes. He tells the story of one young woman.\u00a0 I think there are other stories that can be told, but in trying to sort of tell the narrative of one life, I think it's clear he did his research, not only reading studies like this, but he spent a lot of time on campuses and went to a lot of parties.\u00a0 I always wonder how Tom Wolfe in his white suit showing up at the \u2013 you know, he's in his 60s or 70s at that point, showing up at his daughter's campus parties \u2013 how that went over.\u00a0 But he clearly was paying attention.\u00a0 I think he got it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Your study was designed to explore the relationship culture on the college campus from a woman's perspective and overriding the whole study, and I found this very interesting \u2013 the vast majority of young women on the college campus today have marriage as an ultimate goal, don't they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0They do, and a lot of people don't know this because no one thinks to ask them.\u00a0 In fact, some people were offended when we released this report, that we had asked young women \u2013 yes or no, is marriage an important goal for you?\u00a0 That, alone, was \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Offended.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Offended that we would even talk to them about marriage.\u00a0 What are we doing talking to college women about marriage?\u00a0 It might distract them from their professional goals of, you know, they're not there to think about marriage.\u00a0 There's almost an agreement among their elders that you shouldn't even raise the topic with them because \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u2026 that's interesting \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0\u2026 the advice is don't get married too soon, keep your options open \u2013 those are the big things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, they're even saying something different than that.\u00a0 They're saying set your goal to be your career.\u00a0 Don't even think of defining your life around relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Right, and then these young women have their professional aspirations head that way when they're ready to think about marriage.\u00a0 The right guy might or might not be around, and then, even if he is, you know, women have this biological clock, and sometimes they start running into other problems, which brings us to another report that we'll talk about at some point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But when we asked young women how they feel about marriage, 83 percent said marriage is a very important goal of mine, not the only goal, it's not the only thing they want to do in life, but the majority of them agree marriage is an important goal for them, and 62 percent said, \"I would like to meet my future husband at college.\"\u00a0 Not that they want to get married their sophomore year or even the day they graduate, but this would seem to be a nice time to meet other young men with similar goals and aspirations and most of you are unconnected, and it's a good time to meet people, you'd think.\u00a0 So marriage is on their minds, but no one is talking to them about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And your study seems to indicate that if you wanted to have a healthy, happy lifelong committed marriage relationship, the college campus is not the place to go today to support that goal or to point you in that direction.\u00a0 Relationships are taken in a completely different direction there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0In general, they are.\u00a0 I will say that there are individual students who are able, through their faith, often to forge a way through this and to meet other like-minded persons and to form healthy relationships and often meet their future spouse at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But, overall, the norms on campuses do not support and actually harm, I think, the marriage goals of our young women, particularly this hooking up thing \u2013 one of the things that just astonished me about it \u2013 I actually come from a fairly laid-back background, so I wasn't all that surprised to hear about hooking up, and I went to college, too, and none of this was very unfamiliar to me, in a sense, but what really troubled me, even as a somewhat liberal person, was hearing young women talk about the goal of the hookup is to have a sexual encounter with someone without feeling anything for that person, and if you feel something for the person, you're the one with the problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so these women would say, \"I had to stop the hookup thing because I would hook up with this guy, I'd see him the next day on the library or the cafeteria, and he would ignore me, and that would hurt my feelings, and I'd be all torn up about it, and it was clear to me I just couldn't get with this hookup thing.\u00a0 I just couldn't do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you have feelings for the person, you're the one with the problem, and this attempt in the hookup to separate sexual activity of some kind from feeling was what really troubled me, and I asked myself how many times can you do that?\u00a0 How many times can you put a box around your heart and give someone your body in some way and not your heart \u2013 how many times can you do that and that not impact your ability to form a trust, healthy, happy marriage later on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I don't think you could do it once very effectively, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's interesting, in the '60s and '70s, on the college campus, it seemed, when I was there, that it sought to separate commitment from the sex act and from engaging in that activity.\u00a0 Now you're saying we're going a step further.\u00a0 We're trying to remove the emotions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yes, and I want to say there are nice guys, and we looked at the phenomenon of the nice guys, too, and one young woman, she said to me, \"You know, my friends and I talk about it.\u00a0 It's like, well, Jeremy's a nice guy, and Joey's a nice guy, and Billy's a nice guy, but we don't really go for the nice guys.\u00a0 We just kind of go for the players.\"\u00a0 So I just want to put in a word for the nice guys who are trying to do it right in a culture that's not helping them, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So a guy who wants to court a woman and send her flowers and call her up and send her e-mails, sometimes he's looked at as kind of like a stalker, you know?\u00a0 He's a little too persistent and what's his problem, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0A stalker?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yes, or you ask a girl out on a date before you've even hung out together or something, and it's kind of \u2013 it's a funny thing \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Nice guys are weird, basically.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Nice guys are kind of weird. You don't know what to make of them.\u00a0 The player is the reigning type on campus.\u00a0 The player \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And the player is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0The guy who hooks up a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's the guy who wants sex without any commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Just get together, have sex, not feel anything \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0And that's the player.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And the girls are looking around and going, \"He's desirable,\" but there's another part of them going, \"Well, no, he's not,\" because he's a player.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Women, in a sense, have always been attracted to the bad boys \u2013 you know, with James Dean, and long before that, many examples.\u00a0 So we need a courtship culture, not just to guide the men but also to guide the women as well \u2013 that, sure, there's a part of us, you know, it's the same way that we want an all-you-can-eat buffet, we want to eat too much.\u00a0 There's a part of us that are drawn to, kind of, like, the dangerous side of life and overdoing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I want to stop you because you said earlier that when you were six years old, you were a feminist.\u00a0 Now, I want you to just hear what you just said.\u00a0 You just said, \"We need a courtship culture.\"\u00a0 Elizabeth, do you really believe that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0That we need a courtship culture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0In the sense I believe we need a guiding dialog initiated by the elders, and that might sound a little too soft for some, but I do respect \u2013 I'm a very independent woman, and I like my independence, and I like strong women, and so that's not going to change for me as something that's important to me, but I also know that I need, and we all need, lasting relationships for our own sake and especially for our children's sake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so we have to find a way among the sexes to balance those individual desires for \u2013 you know, just to satisfy, you know, lust, with our desire to love and be loved in a lasting way that is good for us and good for society, but it is especially good for our children.\u00a0 And how do we balance all that out?\u00a0 That's kind of my question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So I think when it comes to a culture of courtship, we need a guiding dialog and by that I mean I think that parents need not just to tell their kids what to do, but they need to know what's going on in their kids' lives, and that's where I think research is just one piece of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I had so many young women come up to me when I would talk on campuses about this report and say to me, \"My parents don't know any of this.\u00a0 They don't know anything that you wrote about.\u00a0 They don't know what's going on here at all.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I would say, kind of not really tongue-in-cheek, I'd say, \"Well, do you want to maybe just send them a copy of the report, you know?\"\u00a0 And they'd go, \"Yeah, maybe I should do that,\" because they didn't really want all this to be a secret from their parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They were hurting, and they were confused, and they didn't know what to make of it, and they kind of felt like their parents weren't asking questions and didn't really care \u2013 that their parents were kind of operating on the assumptions from their own experience 30 years before and mostly not saying very much because maybe they were divorced or they had made their own mistakes or whatever.\u00a0 They didn't know what to say, and the women often felt very alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so when I look at what we need, I think we need the older generation to take the time to be uncomfortable to engage \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0\u2026 with the younger generation and where they are and then not just to listen and learn but also to say something \u2013 to take the risk to say something, because the young women who said to us, \"I was raised with high expectations about how men should treat me.\u00a0 They didn't hook up.\u00a0 They knew that they should expect better than this.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, bingo, and the parents had trained them to expect that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 The young people who are listening, they're rolling their eyes, and they're looking away, but they're listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm just curious \u2013 is the 36-year-old independent, strong, social scientist, Elizabeth Marquardt surprised at the conservative findings \u2013 are you surprised to hear you saying what you're saying considering that you were a six-year-old feminist, and I'm imagining when you were a 20-year-old college student, you probably rolled your eyes at a bunch of the stuff that you're saying today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0As a 20-year-old, I did roll my eyes a fair bit, but there weren't many opportunities to roll my eyes, because my parents are wonderful people, but I wasn't getting much guidance from them or anybody else about this set of issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The funny place that I find myself in is that on the one hand I was raised in a very, very liberal, open, in many ways, very permissive environment.\u00a0 And because of that, I appreciate more than a lot of people, stability, loyalty, commitment, what that does for people \u2013 for young people and for as you're growing older.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So when people who\u00a0 \u2013 a lot of times in our culture, the people who are kind of saying, \"Oh, any kind of family form is fine, and children do fine no matter what, and all we need to do is just to support families wherever we find them and not making people feel bad and not talk about how divorce is bad.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Those people, I always eventually find out they grew up with a mom and a dad who stayed married to each other, and they had their brothers and sisters and they claim there is no \"Leave it to Beaver\" type family, and often they grew up in one, and they're the first ones to say, \"It doesn't matter, we can dismantle the whole thing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, I didn't grow up in a \"Leave it to Beaver\" family, and I know that constant turmoil hurts adults, and it hurts children, and what we need are structures that support people, and a lot of that, when you talk about the truths in the Bible, a lot of that is there are these timeless truths that \u2013 the Golden Rule, \"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.\"\u00a0 Treat people right.\u00a0 Stay together through thick and thin, don't just feed your desires because that's the thing that's most on your mind at any one moment.\u00a0 Do the right thing and, in the long term, that will be the best thing for you and your family and your community.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But you don't do it just for some kind of utilitarian reason that you'll get something out of it in return.\u00a0 You do it because it's the right thing to do, and because the first commandment is to love, and love is hard, and so do it even when it's hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, you just mentioned several things I want to comment on.\u00a0 First of all, your desire for relationships were made by God for relationships.\u00a0 That's why Jesus summarized the Old Testament \u2013 love your God with all your heart and love your neighbor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The second thing you mentioned is that of parents engaging their children and needing to step in even when the kids don't want them there and we've got to keep doing it, all the way through elementary-age children, junior high, high school, and even when they become adults at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I've found with your youngest, Laura, she went through college, you know.\u00a0 I had to constantly fight a current within me that just wanted to kind of let her go, but I had to realize, you know what?\u00a0 She still needs a daddy.\u00a0 She still needs a daddy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then the third thing I just want to say is when you get ready to talk, as a parent, you have to say something, you have to speak from that reservoir of truth that is the age-old reservoir that came from God in the first place, the Scriptures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I think, in many regards, Elizabeth, this culture has tried to take that sword of truth out of the hands of parents and tried to render them helpless and hopeless and weak and impotent and say to them, \"You don't have any authority.\u00a0 The real authorities are in the colleges and institutions and, for that matter, in the think tanks around the country.\u00a0 Those are where the real authorities are.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I couldn't agree with you more that that's a serious problem.\u00a0 It's the tyranny of the experts, as some call it.\u00a0 This idea that you can't speak about something unless you're an expert in the topic or you have a Ph.D. in it or something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I wrote an op-ed one time, and it was headlined, \"Fathers Should Speak Up About Co-Ed Dorms,\" because one of the things that really struck me when I was talking about this report all over the place was how many fathers would say to me, kind of, off the record, like, they would sort of take me aside and say, you know, talking about their daughters \u2013 \"You know, the day I dropped my daughter off at college and paying all this money, put her in \u2013 and she's got this co-ed dorm, and there's these guys who, like, live right in the hall, and they're sharing the bathroom, and that just seemed really weird to me and, of course, I didn't say anything about it because I don't want to seem uncool,\" and blah blah, you know, and they would sort of just dismiss it, and I just thought, \"Here are all these dads forking out all this money for tuition, really troubled by this co-ed dorm thing and feeling like they can't say anything because that will make them square or nobody will listen or that somehow it's the college who is in control and not them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's like, no, these colleges are listening, they are financial institutions, and they listen to where the money comes from, and the parents are paying the money, and they should speak up if they're concerned about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0When we were students, it was a big deal if you had a woman come to your room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0And there were rules, right \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0The door \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Door open, feet on the floor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There you are and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I've heard about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, that was back before \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0It sounds so cute and clean, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It was back before the earth's crust hardened.\u00a0 There were dinosaurs walking on the earth, Elizabeth.\u00a0 But, nonetheless, that was the rule-burden culture we grew up in and, I want to tell you, it was pretty simple, you know?\u00a0 There weren't any women in the restroom when I went in to shave or shower or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And it's not like there was no \u2013 I was about to say there was no hooking up \u2013 I guess \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, it was there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0But not the kind of \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But not like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, not like what you've got on the college campus today.\u00a0 Back then there were more social mores, social restraints.\u00a0 There was a culture that promoted a different kind of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And as I look at your study, Elizabeth, and you look on the college campus, you talk to women on the college campus, and I think, in some ways, college campuses are just little mini-societies.\u00a0 Are there some that are doing it right?\u00a0 In other words, is there something we can learn from some cultures where you'd say, \"They seem to have it together.\u00a0 The hooking-up culture isn't prevalent here,\" and maybe we could learn something for our culture, as a whole.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0It's a great question.\u00a0 Among the campuses where we visited in person, I can't say that I saw one that I would hold up as a model.\u00a0 I will say that our on-campus interviews did not include Christian colleges, and I think it would be a terrific idea to visit Christian colleges to do this study and to see if they're doing it better.\u00a0 I hope and think they would be, and I'd really like to know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0There might be some college campuses where there aren't co-ed dorms today and where there are still a few of the old rules around and where the hookup culture hasn't taken over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0And the students are happier and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And maybe if the word go out, people would say, \"Huh,\" you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, you know, I'm just thinking back over our conversation here today, and I'm thinking, you know, I'm not really into boycotts with the one exception of Abercrombie and Fitch \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yeah, that's a good boycott.\u00a0 Don't buy their stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I'm sorry, I've been on them for, you know, 10 years, and I'm not going to get off of them, I'm really not.\u00a0 It's just a corporate tragedy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But I wonder if we need a movement of daddies who will band together to call the chancellors of major colleges and universities around the country.\u00a0 Now, you know, there are broadcasts where we get people calling the White House or they call their senator, they call their congressman or whatever, and I think those things are fair \u2013 to express our opinion and get our opinion out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But I wonder, I just wonder, what would happen if \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Organize the daddies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0If you could get the daddies in a state to target \u2013 like the University of Michigan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Yeah, like a state university so you could talk to legislators, too, but, yeah, target the trustees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Enough of this nonsense of co-ed dorms.\u00a0 We need men to be men, and if they behave badly \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Hire security guards, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Call the police.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, absolutely, don't bring in the women to domesticate them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Exactly.\u00a0 Why use my daughter \u2013 huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0That's a good argument.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Why use my daughter \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0Who I protected all these years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Exactly, and expose them to that \u2013 to tame the barbarian?\u00a0 I'm willing to give my daughter to one man \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0One barbarian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0But not a dorm full of them.\u00a0 One barbarian only.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We're going to think more about this, and you may need to go to FamilyLife.com to see if there is some way we can kind of put something together here and I don't know where we'll start, Bob, but it seems like we ought to start with a couple of high-visibility schools where you might be able to effect some change here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Okay, you get that look in your eye, and I always worry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth:\u00a0I love this.\u00a0 I'm not worried.\u00a0 This sounds great, I think it sounds great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It does sound great, we're just never sure exactly \u2013 we don't have anything on our website that you can fill out or anything that you can do, or numbers or addresses or anything, but I guess any of our listeners could go to the websites of the college campuses in your community or in your state and call the president and say, \"You know, I have a son or a daughter that's thinking about going there.\u00a0 What's the deal with all these co-ed dorms?\u00a0 And can I get my daughter in a dorm that's all women?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, what you might want to do is print out a copy of the report that Elizabeth has authored that we have on our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 There is the PDF file of that report.\u00a0 You can print it out or download it to our computer, if you'd like, and it lays out all of the details of what's really happening on college campuses in this hooking-up culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and if you click the red \"Go\" button there, it will take you to the area of the site where you can download a copy of this report at no cost.\u00a0 There is also information about resources that are available from us here at FamilyLife that have been designed to address the issues of what's going on in the hearts of young men and young women around this issue of purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Books like Josh Harris's book, \"Sex is not the Problem, Lust Is,\" and even a book like the one that you wrote, Dennis, \"Interviewing Your Daughter's Date,\" that's available in our FamilyLife Resource Center as well.\u00a0 The book, \"Every Man's Battle,\" and \"Every Young Man's Battle,\" by Fred Stoker dealing with the subject of pornography and purity; \"Every Woman's Battle,\" by Shannon Etheridge, that's available from us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Go to the website, FamilyLife.com, click the red button that says \"Go,\" and, again, that will take you to the area of the site where you can not only get a copy of Elizabeth's report, but you can also order some of these resources that you may find helpful as you work with your teenagers on cultivating a heart that is inclined toward purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can also call us, if you'd prefer it.\u00a0 The number is 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 We do have folks available to take your calls and help you with any questions you might have about these resources we've talked about.\u00a0 Again, the number is 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and you can feel free to give us a call.\u00a0 We'd love to help you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, as we talk about challenging teenagers to have a heart for purity, there is another challenge that is going on this month here at FamilyLife as many of our listeners have been contacting us to make donations to the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and they have been participating in our August Challenge Fund.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In addition to making a donation, they have been challenging other listeners to join with them and to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 A lot of listeners who have benefited from this radio program have said, \"I want to challenge others who have benefited from listener to FamilyLife Today.\"\u00a0 We had a listener with a $25 challenge to other fmalt listeners.\u00a0 And we heard from someone who is not only a listener but has also attended a Weekend to Remember conference and wanted to challenge those of you who have benefited from the conference.\u00a0 Now, this person made a $500 challenge gift, and we appreciate that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We hope to hear from as many listeners as possible this month with whatever kind of donation you can make, and we're also hoping you will issue a challenge of your own to encourage listeners to be a part of the Challenge Fund during the month of August.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can make your donation online at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can also make your challenge online when you fill out your donation form.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make your donation over the phone and just mention who you'd like to challenge to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today, and we appreciate hearing from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow we're going to be back with our guest, Elizabeth Marquardt.\u00a0 We're going to hear more about what is really happening on today's college campuses and about this whole hooking-up culture.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301417","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301417"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301417"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301417"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301417"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}