{"id":301376,"date":"2007-06-15T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-06-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/releasing-your-child-into-adulthood\/"},"modified":"2007-06-15T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-06-15T15:00:00","slug":"releasing-your-child-into-adulthood","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/releasing-your-child-into-adulthood\/","title":{"rendered":"Releasing Your Child Into Adulthood"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ed McGlasson tells about the encouragement he received from his stepfather when he was growing up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-06-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.58M","filesize_raw":"11096504","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837],"tags":[4284,4868,4698,2916],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9076],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301376","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","tag-father","tag-husband","tag-manhood","tag-men","cwp_profile-ed-mcglasson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301376\/releasing-your-child-into-adulthood","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301376\/releasing-your-child-into-adulthood","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"TCuiatjmXe\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/releasing-your-child-into-adulthood\/\">Releasing Your Child Into Adulthood<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/releasing-your-child-into-adulthood\/embed\/#?secret=TCuiatjmXe\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Releasing Your Child Into Adulthood&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"TCuiatjmXe\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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up.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-06-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0See, what this requires from a dad is that you really do \u2013 God needs to turn your heart to your kids.\u00a0 But you need to know who they are.\u00a0 You can't just say, \"Well, you're a man now.\"\u00a0 It's not this magical phrase.\u00a0 It's the heart of a father who is engaged, who says, \"I want to make a difference,\" and I really believe this.\u00a0 If the Lord can turn a football player into a father who makes a difference, any man listening to this program can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, June 15th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 If you're a dad, intentionally or unintentionally, you are having an influence on your child's life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Do you think your children would look back today and say, \"My dad profoundly shaped my life?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, I would hope they would.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Have they ever said that to you?\u00a0 Have you ever asked them?\u00a0 Have you had that conversation?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, I wouldn't \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I guess you wouldn't ask \u2013 \"Hey, did I profoundly shape your life,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I have prompted them to share about how their mother has impacted their lives, but I think, in a number of ways, what they have said back to me as a dad has let me know that my life along with their mother's has made a profound impact on their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I guess the reality, as parents, we're going to have a profound influence on the lives of our children.\u00a0 It's just a question of what kind of influence it's going to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's right, and whether or not we have the right finish line, the right goal line that we're pointing them towards, and we have a friend back with us again on FamilyLife Today, Ed McGlasson, who is helping point men toward the right finish line.\u00a0 Ed, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Hey, it's great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Ed is a former NFL player, he's a senior pastor of a church in Southern California, and along with his wife have five children.\u00a0 You're in the midst of hammering it out.\u00a0 How many sons and daughters do you have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0I have three sons and two daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you've applied your principles that you have written in your book, \"The Difference a Father Makes,\" to both your sons and your daughters.\u00a0 Let's talk first about just how you've made a difference in your son's life so that maybe they might say to you one day, as Bob asked me, \"Dad, you really did make an impact on my life.\"\u00a0 How have you done that?\u00a0 How have you sought to point your kids toward that right finish line?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Well, I just turned 50 here recently, and my son gave me a tribute.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, they wrote it in The Denver Post here, and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0How old is your son?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0My son is 22, just graduated from CU as their number-one golfer, and just turned pro, and he's on his way to the PGA tour.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Cool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, you told us earlier that when you were 11, your stepfather came in and said, \"What do you want to be?\" and you said, \"I want to be in the NFL.\"\u00a0 When your son was 11, did you go in and say, \"What do you want to be?\"\u00a0 And he said, \"I want to be a pro golfer.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Actually, it happened at thirteen and a half, and we had \u2013 right after he became a man, and he went through a rites of passage, he came to me about two weeks later and said to me, \"I think God wants me to become a professional golfer.\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, son, you don't play golf.\"\u00a0 He said, \"I know, but I feel like that's what God has called me to.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Okay, go back and pray about it, but here's the deal.\u00a0 You know I'm a pastor, son, so your way to get a scholarship to college is probably going to be athletically, and so you have to be willing to hit golf balls five days a week and do this for the next five years.\u00a0 Are you willing to do that?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It sounded very much like a story you told earlier about how your dad walked into your bedroom at 5 a.m. with \u2013 what was it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0A bullhorn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0A bullhorn and got you up training early.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0That's right, and so he came back the next day and said, \"I've got to do it.\"\u00a0 And so he went out and got him some lessons and played golf with them, and then I shared with him the power of two-a-days, and I said, \"Think about it, son.\u00a0 You're starting late.\u00a0 Most golfers your age have already been playing for five or six years.\u00a0 But if you'd practice twice a day for the next five years, you will do 10 years' worth of training.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so we got up a 5 a.m. and went to the golf course and hit balls and went running and did everything that my dad did with me, and it marked him and this made him the athlete he is today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So before school you guys were playing golf together \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0After school he was out playing golf?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0That's right, with his team.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0How were his studies?\u00a0 Was he doing okay in school?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0He did real good in school, because, I mean, he was either playing golf or studying.\u00a0 He didn't have time for anything else.\u00a0 But that was his dream.\u00a0 I mean, part of this passage idea that I talk about in the book, it's about this permission you give your kids when they're in that adolescent resistance, you know, when they start saying, \"No, I want my rules, my way.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0What we do as fathers, our assumption is that we have all the answers, and so we try to power them, but I believe that's a voice in them that God is calling out; that the Jewish believers understand in Bar Mitzvah as a day when they need to draw their children into a new relationship with God and release them from that adolescent life into manhood or womanhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, see, part of the dilemma with parents is when our kids get in this adolescent resistance, we assume that it's rebellion, and the more we power them or control them, the less of an adult that they learn to be.\u00a0 Only then do we release them to go to college.\u00a0 They leave high school, they go to college with no rules, they've never set their own boundaries, and one of the dilemmas today in college, many of the kids that are coming back are alcoholics because they have no boundaries that they make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0See, I learned something about my kids \u2013 they believe \u2013 and they will follow the rules that they believe in, not necessarily the ones you believe in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, that can be a little scary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0That's right.\u00a0 Your trick, as a parent, is to get them to believe in the right ones, and the way you do that is the same way Jesus did with us.\u00a0 He was a master at asking questions, not giving advice.\u00a0 Because if someone is not hungry to learn, it's like we're sitting around, we're three men, and we're talking about an issue, and then I say, \"Would you like some help with this?\"\u00a0 And you go, \"Yeah, I sure would,\" there's a lot of response.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But if I say, \"Let me tell you what you need to do,\" it's, like, \"Hey, buddy, I'm a man, too.\u00a0 You shouldn't talk to me that way.\"\u00a0 And so I started to create that environment that I actually learned, too, in the National Football League \u2013 the greatest coaches that I played with \u2013 Bill Parcells and Ray Perkins and some of those great coaches \u2013 were masters at leading without using their power and drawing you out and calling you out to being the person that you could be without shaming you and making you feel like they were the man.\u00a0 Like so many coaches do, like many Little League coaches do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You mentioned you believe that a rite of passage can take the form of a ceremony or of a point in time where you declare a young man a man or a young lady a young lady.\u00a0 Give us an illustration of how you have done this with both your son and your daughter, because I enjoyed reading about this in your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Well, with \u2013 let me tell you, with Edward, and I saw this in the story of Jesus when He was baptized, and the message translate, \"You are my beloved son,\" this way \u2013 \"This is my son, marked by my love, the focus of my delight.\"\u00a0 And so I saw that, and I went is this just a voice for John the Baptist when he was baptized, or is this a picture of something greater?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I have a rabbi friend, Steve Berkowitz, in Seattle, Washington.\u00a0 He's a Messianic rabbi, and when I gave him the manuscript, we started talking about it, and I said, \"I'm trying to create a \u2013 really, a Gentile version Bar Mitzvah, but tell me how this fits in your culture and your history.\"\u00a0 And he was weeping, and he said, \"This is what Jesus came to bring us.\u00a0 Do you know what the last line of Bar Mitzvah is, Ed?\"\u00a0 And I said, \"What is that?\"\u00a0 He said, \"This is my beloved son in whom I love.\"\u00a0 As the father runs down the wall of honor between the men in the synagogue, hoists his son on your shoulder, and carries him into manhood, he is saying, fundamentally, \"You no longer are under my power anymore.\u00a0 I am releasing you to be the man that God has destined you to be.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And he gives them now \u2013 they are principally under the authority of the Father in heaven.\u00a0 And so I said, \"You know, there's got to be a better way,\" and what I saw in the model of Jesus was this prophetic-like permission that's resonant inside of every father \u2013 that there is this moment where he says, \"I'm going to bless you with a blessing.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And what I found in Scriptures that when those dads did that, whatever they said, God backed up.\u00a0 I mean, the story in Genesis 35 when Jacob, whose name changed to Israel, comes on the wagon train on the way to Bethel.\u00a0 Rachel is giving birth to her second son and without a husband there, because he's not there, she gets ready to die, pushes out this baby, and names his Benoni, which means \"son of my sorrow.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When he comes on that wagon train with his new name, he hears the name the midwife says and, in a moment, he says \"No, his name shall be Benjamin.\"\u00a0 And he changes his name to \"son of my right hand.\"\u00a0 From that day in history, that model there, a father changed the destiny of a child, and from that day nobody messed with the tribe of Benjamin, even to this day, because a father's words changed his life.\u00a0 He blessed him.\u00a0 That's where that picture in Scripture came out for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so I did that with my son, Edward.\u00a0 I remember calling him out and saying publicly what I loved about him in front of everyone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, that was at your church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0It was at my church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0In front of the entire congregation?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0In front of the entire congregation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0How old was he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0He was thirteen and a half, and I remember him standing at the back of the room, and I told everybody what I loved about him \u2013 and, see, what this requires from a dad is that you really do \u2013 God needs to turn your heart to your kids, but you need to know who they are.\u00a0 You can't just say, \"Well, you're a man now.\"\u00a0 It's not this magical phrase.\u00a0 It's the heart of a father who is engaged who says, \"I want to make a difference.\"\u00a0 And I really believe this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If the Lord can turn a football player into a father who makes a difference, any man listening to this program can.\u00a0 If he can turn me, a hardheaded, self-focused professional athlete into what He's turned me into today, there's hope for every guy in the world.\u00a0 But I remember that moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You called him actually up on stage with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And then prayed over him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0I prayed over him a blessing, and I said over him in front of the whole congregation, \"From this day you will no longer be a boy in my home.\u00a0 You are a man.\"\u00a0 And he leapt in my arms and hugged me and sobbed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I remember turning around, and him turning around, and it was like he's walking now, he has been fundamentally changed in the spirit to a man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You also had a ceremony for your daughter and took her out \u2013 I believe it was an Italian restaurant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Yes, Italian restaurant.\u00a0 Yeah, I took Jessica out.\u00a0 She was 16, and it was a little more confusing with Jessica because I barely understood my wife.\u00a0 How many guys can relate to that?\u00a0 And so I remember \u2013 and just praying through, \"Now, what does a woman need?\"\u00a0 And it began to come to me when my daughters were little.\u00a0 My wife said a couple of things to me.\u00a0 She said, \"A little girl's identity, if she is beautiful or not, is directly proportionate to how you treat her as a dad \u2013 how you love her, how you kiss her, how you date her.\"\u00a0 She said, \"If you'll date your daughters, Ed, when they get into high school, they will not tolerate going out with a boy.\u00a0 They'll wait until they find a man.\"\u00a0 I really like that plan as a dad, especially in Southern California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so I took her to this beautiful Italian restaurant.\u00a0 She had just turned 16.\u00a0 I found this rose, and I hid a little diamond ring inside of this rose, and I spent the night doing what I had kind of modeled in her life, and that's telling her what I love about her.\u00a0 Because when they were little, they had this little princess hat.\u00a0 It had this big long streamer on it, a big cone hat, and they would run in front of my office, back and forth, to get my attention.\u00a0 They'd bang on the window to see if I was looking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And one day I'm going, \"Lord, what do they want?\"\u00a0 He said, \"What every little girl wants.\"\u00a0 Every woman that puts on makeup says the same thing every single day, \"Do you see me?\u00a0 Am I beautiful?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so I spent this night speaking life into Jessica and then I came to that point, I got down on one knee, and I grabbed her, you know, marriage hand, and I said, \"Jessica, are you willing to wear this ring as a token, as your covenant, of holding your body back until your wedding night?\"\u00a0 She said, \"Yes, Daddy.\"\u00a0 And I looked at her, and I said, \"Honey, the reason I brought you here tonight is that you're going to be fundamentally different from this night on.\u00a0 I am no longer going to treat you as a little girl because from this moment on, you are a woman.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And she jumped across that table into my arms and sobbed, and we hugged.\u00a0 The people in the restaurant that were close were overwhelmed because they heard what was going on, because I'm not a quiet guy, you know?\u00a0 And then they all found out this is a dad who blessed his daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And we were driving away, and she was really quiet, and I looked at her, because she had seen her brother become a man, and I said, \"Honey, are you okay?\"\u00a0 She said, \"Daddy, this was the best day of my life.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The next day she goes to school, she's got on her new ring, and her friends see the ring, and they run up, and they're going, \"Oh, my gosh, you're engaged?\"\u00a0 She says, \"No, last night my daddy took me out, and he declared that I was a woman.\"\u00a0 And they were all sobbing.\u00a0 You know, \"I wish my dad would take me on a date sometime.\u00a0 He's working all the time.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I saw the power of what that's meant in all of my children \u2013 Edward first, then Jessica, then Mary, Luke the Duke, who just became a man on his 13th birthday, and Joshua David who is in the wings waiting for that moment into this new life that God's meant for all of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0When your son or your daughter makes that transition, and when you say to them, \"From this point on there is a different relationship.\"\u00a0 What changes?\u00a0 I mean, in terms of how you parent them, how is it different in the home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Well, what I have \u2013 and this was a big learning process in the beginning.\u00a0 I had to learn to do something, and this is \u2013 one of the things I learned is to put a question mark behind every single sentence that I say to my kids.\u00a0 Just think about that for a moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's kind of difficult if you're a preacher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0That's exactly right.\u00a0 It's very difficult, because you want to give advice.\u00a0 Let me tell you a little conversation I had with my son, Edward, a couple of years ago.\u00a0 He called me up and said, \"Hey, Dad, guess what?\u00a0 We've got tickets to Vail, and we got a house.\u00a0 One of the alums is going to set us up,\" and I know, you know, I kind of made a deal I'm not snowboarding anymore because I could hurt my shoulder but, you know \u2013 and he said, \"I know you'll probably say no but I need some advice.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I said, \"Well, can I ask you a couple of questions?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, have you read your contract with the University of Colorado?\"\u00a0 \"Uh, contract?\"\u00a0 \"You know, your scholarship.\u00a0 Is there a clause in there that might say you would lose your scholarship if you got hurt in intermural activity?\u00a0 Just make sure.\u00a0 Number two, have you asked your coach, because he's fundamentally responsible for you, and I'm your father, I trust you, you're a man, you'll make the right decision, you love God.\u00a0 So you need to ask him.\u00a0 And, three, I would just ask have you prayed about it?\"\u00a0 \"Oh, yeah, yeah, I prayed about it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So, anyway, about 30 minutes goes by, and this phone call comes back, \"Hey, Dad.\u00a0 This really sucks.\"\u00a0 I said, \"What's up?\"\u00a0 He said, \"It's in my contract.\"\u00a0 \"You're kidding.\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 You've got a decision to make, son, you're a man.\"\u00a0 \"Yeah, and I called my coach.\u00a0 He said if I get hurt I could lose my scholarship money. He doesn't want me to go.\"\u00a0 I went, \"Phhhew.\"\u00a0 He says, \"As a matter of fact, Dad, I really didn't pray about it.\u00a0 But now that I think about it\" and, all of a sudden, I heard this thing click.\u00a0 \"You know what, Dad, now that I think about it, that's not a wise decision.\u00a0 You know, I've got a lot of career, and maybe in the future with my family, but, you know, I need to get focused on what I need to do, and you know what?\u00a0 I really didn't need that much advice from you, anyway.\u00a0 Thanks, anyway.\u00a0 Bye.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Right then, just in that lesson, I've learned over and over again, and I learned this from Jesus, I can't claim any originality on this.\u00a0 He was a master at asking questions to help people hear themselves of where they were, and then He would offer advice when they were open.\u00a0 Our biggest assumption that we made is that if we power ourselves because we have the truth \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So difficult as a parent, so difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0As a Christian, we want to witness, right?\u00a0 And we assume because we have the truth, we've got to blare it out.\u00a0 Shouldn't we say, \"Hey, by the way, would you like some help with this decision you're making?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right.\u00a0 Yeah, no doubt about it.\u00a0 You know, Ed, I just want to thank you for being on the broadcast and for sharing your story.\u00a0 It really is cool to hear how a young man who grew up without his biological father, received is Heavenly Father's approval, and has gone on not only to take that as a blessing but now passes it on to other men, and I want to make sure the men have not missed what you've said.\u00a0 There are three things our kids are looking for, both our sons and our daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Number one, they're looking for our attention.\u00a0 They really want our face towards them wholeheartedly watching them and looking into their lives and seeking to understand them.\u00a0 Secondly, they want our hearts.\u00a0 They want a relationship.\u00a0 They don't want our stuff, they don't want our presents, yeah, they'd like our cars, sure, as they get older, but they want our hearts, they want a relationship with us.\u00a0 Third, and I think this may be the real bonus of it all \u2013 they want our approval.\u00a0 The blessing that you're talking about \u2013 and I would just challenge any man who is listening right now, if he has not blessed his sons and daughters, regardless of their age, because it's never too late.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0That's true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You speak of blessing men who are 80 years old who no longer have a father.\u00a0 I'm telling you, you will always be your son and daughters' daddy, and your words will be powerful in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEd:\u00a0Can I inject a little story?\u00a0 We were at a pastor's house after a conference at his church, and the phone \u2013 his son's on the phone from Santa Barbara, and he said, \"Hey, Dad, are you having a revival?\"\u00a0 He says, \"Well, what are you talking about, son?\"\u00a0 \"My roommate, my roommate.\"\u00a0 \"What do you mean, your roommate?\"\u00a0 \"She's on the floor, she can't stop sobbing.\"\u00a0 \"What happened?\"\u00a0 \"Well, her dad went to church this morning and became a man, and he called her on the phone and told her for the first time that he loved her.\u00a0 And he called her out to be a woman, that he has held her back all of her life with his anger, and he repented, and she cannot stop crying.\u00a0 She's waited her whole life for her dad to bless her.\"\u00a0 It's never too late.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's never too late.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, when we think about Father's Day, we usually think about what gifts we will give our fathers, and it may be that this Father's Day, there are some dads who need to give some gifts to their children; who need to give them the gift of a blessing, and some of the men who are listening may be thinking about words that they ought to offer, things they need to say to a child, whether the child is five years old or 15 years old or 50 years old, there is something in the human heart that longs to hear the affirmation of a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to let our listeners know, Dennis, that we've got copies of Ed's book in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and if any of our listeners are interested in getting a copy, I mentioned earlier this week that because Ed had a background in the National Football League, this is the kind of book you could pass along to someone who may be a football fan and who is not a Christian but any dad can benefit from reading a book like this, and, again, you can order it from us online at FamilyLife.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Go to our website, and in the middle of the home page, you'll see a red button that says \"Go.\"\u00a0 If you click that button, it will take you to an area of the site where there is more information about the resources we have available here at FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Or you can call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and request a copy of the book over the phone.\u00a0 Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY or you can also go online at FamilyLife.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then this week we've been offering a special thank you gift to those of our listeners who are able to help with a donation of any amount for the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We'd like to send you a DVD.\u00a0 This is a message given by our host, Dennis Rainey, to dads at a recent Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference about our core responsibilities as fathers.\u00a0 What God has charged us to do as we raise our sons and our daughters to be young men and women who love God, who know Him, and who grow in wisdom as they grow in stature.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It's a great message and, again, we have it on DVD.\u00a0 We'd love to send it out to you as a way of saying thanks for your financial support of this ministry.\u00a0 We are listener-supported, and without donations from you, FamilyLife Today could not continue on the air in this city or in other cities all across the country.\u00a0 So thanks for teaming up with us and, again, if you make a donation today be sure to ask for a copy of this DVD.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can donate online at FamilyLife.com, and if you do that, when you come to the keycode box just type the word \"dads\" in there, so we'll know to send you the DVD or call 1-800-FLTODAY and mention that you'd like the message from Dennis on DVD, and we'll be sure to send it out to you and, again, thanks for teaming up with us here at FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, I hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can be back with us on Monday when we're going to be joined by two of the six Rainey children \u2013 Samuel and Rebecca are going to be here, and we're going to talk about what life was like as a young teenager in the Rainey home, and they have advice for other young teens or those who are about to become teens, about how to make it through the teen years.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for what promises to be a fun week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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