{"id":301344,"date":"2007-04-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-04-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/three-major-flaws-of-a-christian-home\/"},"modified":"2007-04-06T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-04-06T15:00:00","slug":"three-major-flaws-of-a-christian-home","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/three-major-flaws-of-a-christian-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Major Flaws of a Christian Home"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Could a Christian home be an obstacle to a true faith in Christ?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-04-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"14.17M","filesize_raw":"14856125","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2841,2806],"tags":[4296,4948],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3058],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301344","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-spiritual-development","tag-prodigals","tag-rebellious-teen","cwp_profile-tim-kimmel","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301344\/three-major-flaws-of-a-christian-home","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301344\/three-major-flaws-of-a-christian-home","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Ssb8GYjWL4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/three-major-flaws-of-a-christian-home\/\">Three Major Flaws of a Christian Home<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/three-major-flaws-of-a-christian-home\/embed\/#?secret=Ssb8GYjWL4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Three Major Flaws of a Christian Home&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Ssb8GYjWL4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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Christ?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-04-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0What if your teenager is really becoming friends with some people that you feel are fairly undesirable?\u00a0 Now, you can muscle them out of that situation, you can just kind of stand on their air hose, and we have the ability to do that, we're the parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But what if you actually let them walk through that situation?\u00a0 Wise parents walk with their kids through their struggles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, April 6th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Can high-control parenting actually incite rebellion in the heart of a child?\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 So \u2013 do you think we'll get a lot of e-mail from \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I do.\u00a0 I think we have a lot of rebellious listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Could be \u2013 why Christian listeners rebel.\u00a0 You should write a book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, I wouldn't write it.\u00a0 I'd have Tim Kimmel write it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Tim Kimmel could write it.\u00a0 Why do Christian listeners rebel, Tim?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0I don't know, they listen to you guys too much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, no, no, no, Tim.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0They're overdosing on Dennis and Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0No, Tim, you hold the record for generating the most negative e-mails of Christian listeners rebelling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0I've got a Kleenex here so I can dab my eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You feel really sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0I'm overwhelmed with emotion here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now we need why do guests on Christian radio shows rebel?\u00a0 That's what we need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Yeah, I'm not trying to pick a fight with anybody.\u00a0 I just realize that so much of the way we're doing what we're doing in our Christian life is blowing up in our face, and it's hurting a lot of kids, and it doesn't need to be.\u00a0 Parents want a better way to do this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, and you address that in your book, \"Grace-Based Parenting,\" which a number of parents have read and found very helpful; others have found challenging, but it's good to provoke some conversation, some dialog, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Yes, and people jump to conclusions what we mean by grace, and then when they read the book they realize, \"Oh, he's not talking about just throwing our kids to the wolves and letting them do whatever they want.\"\u00a0 If grace is anything, it's a higher holiness not a lower one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right, and I have a tough question for you, Tim.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Uh-oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You're a graduate of Bryan College.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, isn't that a Christian school?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You then went to Dallas Theological Seminary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Very good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay.\u00a0 Have you ever rebelled?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Well, actually, I did.\u00a0 I think I \u2013 in fact, it was when I was at Bryan is where I really started questioning a lot of things, and I dropped to my lowest point in my life spiritually in the middle of that Christian school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And it was because God was becoming a clich\u00e9 to me, because everything was being done for me.\u00a0 All the thinking \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u2026 chapel \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Chapel \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Christian classes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0They would start off with devotions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Christian girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Absolutely, and [inaudible].\u00a0 It was amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You had grown up in a Christian home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0I had.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You'd been in church all your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0I had.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Did you go to Christian schools when you were growing up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0No, I went to public school, but I did go to Bryan College, and so that was my first exposure to a Christian environment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So how long did your rebellion last?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Probably about a year and a half, and then I just had some really wonderful people that came through the system there at Bryan that really opened my eyes to why this was happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Because, you see, actually, that is not uncommon.\u00a0 When you put a person in an environment that does their thinking for them, it can actually turn their faith into a clich\u00e9.\u00a0 That's one of the things I talk about in this book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In other words, we can actual create an environment where Jesus is just part of the backdrop.\u00a0 In fact, this reminds me, I talk about three fatal flaws of kids being brought up in Christian homes, and you would think, \"There's fatal flaws?\"\u00a0 Well, actually, there are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The first one I see is they don't think that God is as real as He is.\u00a0 A lot of kids brought up from day one in a Christian environment don't think that God is as real as He is.\u00a0 He's like wallpaper in the backdrop of their life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, they've done studies, and let's say, Dennis, you had wallpaper in your bathroom when you were a little boy growing up, and we had somebody go and photograph that and send it to us, and we handed you a piece of paper and crayons and said, \"Draw it.\"\u00a0 They found that the average person cannot draw that wallpaper.\u00a0 Even though you saw it every day of your life, sometimes a couple of times a day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Let me give you the second reason.\u00a0 They don't think that sin is as bad as it is.\u00a0 See, a lot of kids brought up in Christian homes, \"Well, we're trying to create an environment where we keep sin out of the house and keep our kids from sinning.\u00a0 And I think that's a good idea.\u00a0 But no, going in, because they have a propensity toward sin, that if we just think that by creating a sterile environment, that that has supplanted that need in them, we are very na\u00efve, because many times it makes sin alluring to them, and they want to maybe investigate it a little bit more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Okay, so how do we treat sin in our families then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0One thing is a savvy parent is not surprised when their kids sin.\u00a0 Do you know why kids do stupid things?\u00a0 Because they're foolish.\u00a0 They were born that way.\u00a0 They do stupid things.\u00a0 And we should, rather than being reactive that our kids actually sinned or were rebellious or whatever, we've just go to know that that's part of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Like that savvy father in Luke 15 that had a son that was, you know, bent on rebelling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I think another thing a parent needs to do is not just talk about what sin is and its impact in lives but also I think parents need to model what they do with their own sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Exactly.\u00a0 See, if I am a person that's living vulnerable with Christ, I'm not surprised that my kids sin because I know that I sin; that I struggle as a human being.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0What's the third flaw?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Okay, kids brought up in Christian homes not only don't think that sin is as bad as it is, don't think that God is as real as He is, but the third problem is they don't think, they just don't think, because one of the built-in problems of Christian homes is we have a bad habit of doing our kids' spiritual thinking for them.\u00a0 We give them all the answers to the test without them having to struggle with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so what is original to us, especially if we became Christians, let's say, in our 20s or 30s, this is a real passionate relationship with us as parents.\u00a0 For the kids, it's just backdrop, it's just stuff that has been given to them as king of a rote memory thing, and it's not original.\u00a0 And that's why we have to allow our kids to struggle spiritually in our homes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Give us an illustration of what that might look like in a family.\u00a0 I mean, you're talking about not just imparting truth to them and teaching right from wrong, but you're talking about letting them absorb it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Okay, yeah.\u00a0 What if your teenager is really becoming friends with some people that you feel are fairly undesirable?\u00a0 They've got some value systems that are very contradictory to your home.\u00a0 Now, you can muscle them out of that situation, you can just kind of stand on their air hose, and we have the ability to do that, we're the parents, and we have all the money.\u00a0 So we have ways of manipulating these things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But what if you actually let them walk through that situation a little bit, praying like mad, while their faith is on fire, and faith is put on the test.\u00a0 And will they get hurt?\u00a0 Yeah, some of them would.\u00a0 Some of them make some bad choices, some of them get their hearts broken, some of them get stabbed in the back.\u00a0 Have you ever had any of those things happen to you?\u00a0 Get stabbed in the back or betrayed by a friend?\u00a0 I have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This is where I learned what my faith was all about.\u00a0 This is where I learned what Jesus was all about.\u00a0 And so wise parents walk with their kids through their struggles rather than just denying.\u00a0 And I don't want to be a namedropper, but God said this is the way to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Luke 15 \u2013 you know, you have the story of the prodigal son, and that father knew he could not stop his kid from rebelling.\u00a0 This kid was bent on rebelling.\u00a0 And so rather than just try and lock him down, you know, in his room, which he could have done, he was a pretty wealthy father, he says, \"No, he's going to have to figure this out.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, I always keep in mind when Jesus told that story, who was He referring to?\u00a0 He was referring to God the Father, right?\u00a0 Now, here is a great thing we need to understand about when our kids rebel.\u00a0 We should not beat ourselves up when our kids rebel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's easy to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0It's real easy to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0But anybody who has had a child who has rebelled knows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0You just want to beat yourself up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, you want to question \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0You think, \"What did I do wrong?\"\u00a0 You know, if I could go back and play it over again, here is where I made my mistake.\u00a0 Here is what I get out of this story.\u00a0 First of all, God is saying, \"Why are you beating yourself up?\u00a0 I'm not beating myself up, and I'm the subject of that story.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, think of it this way, God is saying, \"Why are you surprised that your kids are rebelling?\u00a0 I'm God, and my kids rebel.\u00a0 I'm the God of the Universe, and I can't stop my kids from rebelling.\u00a0 So why are you surprised that you can't?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, we could go back and say, \"Oh, could he stop them?\"\u00a0 Yeah, He could.\u00a0 I mean, as the sovereign God, He could make us just a bunch of automatons, but He doesn't, because He's working with us in His grace and His love and His mercy.\u00a0 And so walking them through their rebellion is better than just trying to resist it all the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I think one of the most difficult things for a parent, at least in the story of the father of the prodigal son is thinking about your son wallowing with hogs and eating pig slop.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Well, how about this?\u00a0 Wallowing with prostitutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Thinking about the germs, thinking about the potential for disease, and when we see our children flirt with sin, that becomes very difficult for us, as parents, to back off and allow God to be God in our children's lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, what we're talking about here, and this is very important, it's not said in the passage in Luke 15 what the age of the prodigal son was, but I would bet the young man was just that \u2013 a young man.\u00a0 He was not 12 or 13.\u00a0 I don't think the father would have let the prodigal son go down and hang out in a physically dangerous situation at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0No, no, you wouldn't and nor are we suggesting that.\u00a0 But we are saying that there are 12-year-olds that act out some behavior that shows they are questioning our faith and our value system.\u00a0 We can react to that, or we can respond.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, as you bring this up, as we talk about your example of your kids heading off with some other young people who you think maybe aren't desirable, I think of two illustrations.\u00a0 One is a young girl whose name may be familiar to some of our listeners \u2013 Cassie Bernall.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Cassie was a student at Columbine High School.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0I certainly remember her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She was the student who, on the day her classmates came in and had their guns pulled and shot her, she was the one who said, \"Yes, I believe in God,\" and was killed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Several months before that, Cassie was headed in the wrong direction.\u00a0 She was hanging around with the wrong kids, and her parents came in and started monitoring very closely who she was hanging out with and found notes in her drawer, and they said, \"No, you're not going to hang out with those kids,\" and they stepped on her air hose.\u00a0 She was 15 years old at the time.\u00a0 That may be an appropriate response for a 15-year-old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Well, absolutely, and I've done that with my own kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, let me give you a second illustration.\u00a0 I'll never forget talking to R.C. Sproul, Jr.\u00a0 He was engaged at one point to a woman who was not a believer, and his parents prayed like crazy that he would not walk off and make a tragic choice that would go directly against what the Scriptures teach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And when we talked to him \u2013 you remember, we talked to both R.C. Junior and to his dad, and we said, \"What did you say?\"\u00a0 And R.C. Senior said \"I didn't say much, because I knew that if I said too much \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0It would just [inaudible].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I could press him right in that direction.\u00a0 So I said, \"Son, just remember who you are,\" and R.C. Junior said, \"It's probably a good thing my dad didn't say much more than that because I was stubborn and probably would have done it just to prove my independence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So I think the point that you're making here, parents have to be wise and shrewd about where our kids are in their development, how active do we become, how involved do we get, how many rules do we clamp down on them?\u00a0 When they're younger, maybe we have to do more of that, but when they're older, we could actually do more harm than good by trying to set up some hard boundaries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0You know what I was thinking about when you talking in there, Bob, is the one thing we need to throw into this mix that a lot of people probably aren't going to want to hear, and that is how do you know when it's time to step in, stand on their air hose, or to back off?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Is it spelled out in the Bible?\u00a0 Is there some way that we can know on this case we do this, and this case we don't?\u00a0 And here is what I say \u2013 the more you walk closely to the Lord Jesus Christ, and you are living a life of faith, the Word of God is a real part of your life, and you're living by faith, God will tell you.\u00a0 You will know, and I\u2019m not talking about you'll hear an audible voice, I'm not talking about that.\u00a0 And this gets very dicey with some people, because they're thinking, \"Wow, you're getting a little emotional with me here.\"\u00a0 But I believe it's where this whole thing is won.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Tim, I couldn't agree with you more.\u00a0 It's not that you're getting emotional, you're getting intensely spiritual, and when you get spiritual, and you're talking about God invading a person's life, you're becoming mystical, and, again, I don't want to create some kind of ambiguity here, but when Jesus Christ was getting ready to leave the disciples, what did He promise them \u2013 the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 Why did He promise them the Holy Spirit \u2013 to guide them, to direct them, to teach them, to comfort them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Each one of those functions of the person of the Holy Spirit is a function that parents desperately need.\u00a0 We need guidance, direction, comfort, we need Him to lead us into truth around the Scripture and just affirm what you're talking about here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0More than one time, Barbara and I have prayed, we have asked God for wisdom, and you know what?\u00a0 God has enabled us to catch our kids, He's led us through times when we didn't know what was going on, and our hands had to be pulled back.\u00a0 We had to let our kids go as they moved toward adulthood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But in each of those situations, it was the Holy Spirit who gave us the power to get our fingers out of our children's lives, not be high control, not create this environment of legalism but to help them realize they've got to make the right choice, and we're going to let them make those choices as they move closer and closer to adulthood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0James, chapter 1, verse 5 says, \"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should get a checklist from a Christian book.\"\u00a0 He just says, simply, \"Ask.\"\u00a0 He should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.\u00a0 But he says when he asks, \"he must believe and not doubt because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We have got to understand that the Holy Spirit is not some abstract concept.\u00a0 He really wants to move in our life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And you know what?\u00a0 As believers, we need to experience the filling of the Holy Spirit over and over and over again, and we experience Him as we walk by faith and are obedient to Him and yield to Him to say, \"Lord God, would you fill me with your Spirit?\u00a0 Give me wisdom, give me power, help me respond in a right way, help me with the right words with my teenager so I don't incite them to anger, I don't encourage them to rebel but instead let them know that they are profoundly loved, and that we are here to guide them all the way to adulthood and to ultimately become God's woman or God's man.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0You know, in that story, the prodigal son, we always talk about that kid that ran off, but remember there were two prodigal sons there, there were two rebellious kids.\u00a0 There's another type of rebellious kid, and that's that indifferent kid, that kid that's been brought up in a spiritual greenhouse but doesn't seem to care.\u00a0 That is an equally rebellious kid and, frankly, I think the kid that runs off to Torino and wastes his life is actually an easier one to deal with, because it's so obvious where he's coming from, and when he hits bottom, it's pretty obvious, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But that kid that stayed home that was upset that his brother was welcomed back, that's another type of rebellion.\u00a0 We talk about that in this book, because, you know, in our Christian lives, it's easy to raise kids where their faith is compulsory, where their faith is more like their hobby or a family tradition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Once again, parents can have a very passionate relationship with Christ, and their kids have it more like a hobby.\u00a0 And I do have to mention this, since we're on the subject \u2013 there is another thing that we do unwittingly that actually, I think, sets our kids up to rebel, and that's when we make our Christianity too comfortable.\u00a0 Where, you know, we become a Christian and the next thing you know we have all new friends, and we learn our way around the Bible, and we learn some theology, and so we don't hang out with that old crowd anymore, we just want to be in our nice little spiritual country club with our Christian friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then we tend to pray in such a way that we can maintain this kind of comfortable surrounding.\u00a0 Sometimes I've caught myself praying, Dennis and Bob, and I thought, \"This isn't praying.\u00a0 This is whining.\u00a0 I want things nice and comfortable.\"\u00a0 Where did we get that it was supposed to be that way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I read an article a number of years ago about plants in a hot house.\u00a0 You know, plants were meant to be nurtured in a hothouse so that eventually they could be moved out \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0They could thrive out in the elements.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Out in the elements.\u00a0 You leave a plant in a hothouse too long, you'll kill the plant.\u00a0 And as I look at your book, \"Why Christian Kids Rebel,\" it may be that some of us are leaving our kids in the hothouse too long, and we're not letting them face the wind and the elements and letting that temper their faith so it can stand strong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Let me encourage our listeners to get a copy of your book, \"Why Christian Kids Rebel,\" along with the book you wrote earlier called \"Grace-Based Parenting.\"\u00a0 These two books are going to provide parents with some challenging new thinking on how we can guide our children biblically in a way that will enable them to thrive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We've got both books in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go to our website, FamilyLife.com, for more information.\u00a0 At the bottom of the screen you click on the button that says \"Go\" with \"Today's Resources\" around it.\u00a0 It will take you right to a page where you'll find more information about both of Tim's books, and if you order them together this week, we'll send you at no additional cost either the cassette or the CD of our conversation with Tim Kimmel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, more information is on our website at FamilyLife.com, or if you'd like to order by phone, call 1-800-FLTODAY, and just tell whoever answers that you're interest in Tim Kimmel's books, or if you have any questions someone on our team can help answer those for you.\u00a0 Again, the toll-free number, 1-800-FLTODAY or go online at FamilyLife.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, I still kind of chuckle about the letter we received earlier this year from a listener who said, \"I heard you mention at the end of one of your programs that you are listener-supported, and, all of a sudden, it dawned on me, \"That means me.\u00a0 You're talking about me.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You folks who listen, you're the listeners who we need to help join with us to support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Without your financial support, we could not continue to air our program on the network of stations all across the country where FamilyLife Today is currently heard.\u00a0 And this week we are making available to our listeners a special thank you gift for your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It is the movie that tells the story of the life, the death, the burial, and the resurrection of Jesus.\u00a0 It's \"The Jesus Movie\" on DVD, and it's our gift to you this month with a donation of any amount to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you're donating online, we need you to write the word \"Jesus\" in the keycode box so we'll know to send the DVD to you.\u00a0 Or if you're calling just ask for the Jesus DVD when you make your donation.\u00a0 The number is 1-800-FLTODAY, the website is FamilyLife.com, and if you go to our website and want to make a donation, on the left side of the screen you'll see a place where it says \"Help support FamilyLife\" or \"Make a donation.\"\u00a0 You just click that box, and it will take you right to the screen where you can make an easy online donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, the website is FamilyLife.com, the toll-free number 1-800-FLTODAY, and thanks in advance for your ongoing support of this ministry.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, it's been a treat to have an old friend on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 I have to ask you one last question, though.\u00a0 Many parents think, you know, today is just too evil.\u00a0 It's just too tough to raise kids, and they're being tempted to pull them out and pull them away.\u00a0 You really believe we've got to develop conviction in our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 You know, this reminds me of the old white glove in the mud illustration.\u00a0 I've heard this \u2013 it's actually been thrown at me several times to counter this thinking of raising your kids where they have to trust in God.\u00a0 They'll say, \"Tim, you put a white glove in your hand, and you stick it in the mud, what happens?\"\u00a0 \"Well, you get mud on the glove.\"\u00a0 \"See?\u00a0 There you are.\u00a0 That's why you can't raise kids near the world.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And here is what I think every time I hear that illustration.\u00a0 They give all the power to the mud.\u00a0 They give no power to the blood.\u00a0 What does it mean, \"Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world?\"\u00a0 What does it mean, \"Resist the devil, and he will flee from you?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0My wife and I have not been so concerned about how much of the world gets on our kids, it's how much of it gets in them, and we believe that there is a way to raise them so the Holy Spirit offsets those things, but it might be a family that's a lot more savvy than the cocooned, comfortable, clich\u00e9d, cloistered families that we think we need to make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301344"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301344"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301344"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301344"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}