{"id":301300,"date":"2007-02-07T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-02-07T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-art-of-conflict-part-2\/"},"modified":"2007-02-07T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-02-07T17:00:00","slug":"the-art-of-conflict-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-art-of-conflict-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The ART of Conflict, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Can conflicts in your relationship really be healthy?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-02-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"8.05M","filesize_raw":"8436618","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2902],"tags":[4927,4527,2877],"podcast_series":[7302],"cwp_profile":[8887],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301300","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resolving-conflict","tag-challenges","tag-communication","tag-marriage","podcast_series-the-song-of-solomon","cwp_profile-tom-nelson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301300\/the-art-of-conflict-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301300\/the-art-of-conflict-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"anhkCMNQ8L\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-art-of-conflict-part-2\/\">The ART of Conflict, Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-art-of-conflict-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=anhkCMNQ8L\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The ART of Conflict, Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"anhkCMNQ8L\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Can conflicts in your relationship really be healthy?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2007-02-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tTommy:\u00a0Fellows, do not reason with your wife.\u00a0 She knows the answer; she knows what she feels.\u00a0 This drives women mad \u2013 \"Okay, you're mad.\u00a0 You're mad because of this, that assumes this, that concludes with that, that obviously is not true.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, February 7th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 If you've ever made a blunder like that and, who among us hasn\u2019t, stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 I'll tell you what, it's been a treat \u2013 last week and again this week \u2013 to be able to listen to portions of messages from Pastor Tommy Nelson as he teaches on the Song of Solomon.\u00a0 And already this week he has talked about how conflict can interrupt romance and intimacy in a marriage relationship, and in part 2 of the message that we've heard already this week, he's going to talk to us about what we can do to help cure that interruption, and that is to develop some healthy patterns of communication.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And we're going to try what may be humanly impossible, because Tommy Nelson breaks every communication law known to man in speaking about communication.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0He makes 12 points, that's 12, one two, 12 points about talking and seven points about listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So it's a basic 19-point message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's a 19-point message, and for those of you who are getting ready to listen to the broadcast, you better listen fast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That's right, buckle your seatbelt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0This is a great message from the Song of Solomon, and our listeners that have been with us all week know that Tommy Nelson is a pastor, he is a speaker, widely sought after as a relevant Bible teacher.\u00a0 He's been married to his wife, Theresa, for more than 20 years, two teenage sons, and so he can get these 19 points in, Bob.\u00a0 Let's go hear Tommy Nelson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0All right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTommy:\u00a0(From audiotape.)\u00a0 I'm going to hit you with something really quick, the most important thing I could share with you.\u00a0 Here is how you talk \u2013 number one, never speak rashly.\u00a0 Weigh your words before you speak.\u00a0 Step back, let your endocrine system back up \u2013 hoo, hah, okay \u2013 and then talk, but don't speak rashly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Secondly, never confront your mate publicly.\u00a0 You all ever seen couples do that at restaurants, and you want to go punch some guy out?\u00a0 Never, ever confront your mate publicly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Thirdly, never confront them before kids.\u00a0 You never, ever carry on a conflict in front of a kid.\u00a0 Go into the back room and talk.\u00a0 Don't make your kids miserable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Fourthly, never use the kids.\u00a0 \"Freddie, get over here.\u00a0 Isn't he like that?\u00a0 Isn't he like that?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0How many of you all got pulled between parents?\u00a0 That's painful.\u00a0 Never use your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Fifthly, never say \"never\" and never say \"always.\"\u00a0 \"You always do that.\"\u00a0 \"I never recall you ever\" \u2013 never do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Sixthly, never get historical \u2013 you mean hysterical?\u00a0 Historical.\u00a0 By that I mean that you go back into things they used to do, and you talk about sins in their past.\u00a0 \"You remember five years ago?\u00a0 You did it then, you do it now.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Seventhly, never raise your voice.\u00a0 You can say just about anything as long as you're sweet.\u00a0 Proverbs \u2013 \"Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.\"\u00a0 Sit down, put your hands on your lap and talk sweetly about how you feel.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Eighthly, never call names.\u00a0 I'm amazed at things guys will call their wives.\u00a0 You get nothing resolved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Ninthly, never mention family.\u00a0 It's still his parents, and it's still her parents.\u00a0 Don't bring them into it.\u00a0 It doesn't accomplish anything, it just makes them mad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Tenthly, never win, never win.\u00a0 When you win a conflict, you lose a mate.\u00a0 Press to resolve, press to resolution not to victory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Eleventh, don't condescend.\u00a0 I was in my study once, and I had this guy, bless his heart, they were having a bad marriage.\u00a0 She was really a vitriolic kind of a girl.\u00a0 She was emotional, and he was kind of like this.\u00a0 And I said to him, \"Well, what seems to be the problem?\"\u00a0 He said, \"I think we have basically a difference of value.\"\u00a0 He said, \"I myself lean toward the more spiritual, she happens to be more worldly, and tends to more fleshly things.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I turned to her, and I said, \"Wait a minute.\"\u00a0 I said, \"How do you feel right now?\"\u00a0 She said, \"Mad.\"\u00a0 I said, \"How come?\"\u00a0 \"He just embarrassed me in front of you.\"\u00a0 I said to him, \"Do you always do that?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Does he always do that?\"\u00a0 He said, \"What?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Do you always take that little kind of quiet voice and just rip your wife?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I'd rather have you like her, throwing daggers than like you sniping out here and condescending on her.\"\u00a0 He did it all the time.\u00a0 You don't condescend on your mate.\u00a0 You speak horizontal to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Twelfthly, never demean.\u00a0 I've got a dear buddy.\u00a0 He said he had a bad habit early in his marriage, and it got broke real quick.\u00a0 He said his wife would try to share what was hurting her, and he'd do like this \"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0He said, \"My 10th-year reunion, one of my buddies was standing there with his wife, and she dropped her glasses, and I'm standing there with about five of my buddies talking to him.\u00a0 She dropped her glasses again, and do you know what this guy did?\u00a0 I think he felt he had to be tough in front of his old high school buddies.\u00a0 He grabs them glasses and said, 'You put them on and keep them on or I'm going to break them.'\u00a0 And he does that right in front of us.\u00a0 And I watched this girl die right there.\u00a0 She wilted, and I'm thinking, 'Man, if you do this all the time, how abusive can you be to a spirit by demeaning her?'\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Guys, I've seen these guys, and they're looking for something, and his wife is looking around in her purse for something \u2013 I've seen them do this \u2013 and these guys, I guess they think they're being great husbands.\u00a0 They go, \"Give me that,\" and they jerk her purse.\u00a0 That's demeaning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Some of you are going to marry wives that are Type Bs.\u00a0 They'll let you get away with it.\u00a0 I married a Type A, and she won't.\u00a0 My wife will go, \"Come on.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Never force a quiet mate to talk.\u00a0 Some of you, when you get hurt, it's going to be right now.\u00a0 Whoa, stop, shut down.\u00a0 But you're going to marry people that you've got to give them a little space.\u00a0 How many of you think you're going to need just a little time?\u00a0 I'm like that.\u00a0 Raise your hand if you think you're going to be like that.\u00a0 Have we got some Type Bs?\u00a0 I'm like that \u2013 just give me a little time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0That's how you talk.\u00a0 How do you listen?\u00a0 Listen with your face.\u00a0 Fellows, don't be working the channel changer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I told you once my wife grabbed me and said, \"Listen with your fists.\"\u00a0 Fellows, do not reason with your wife.\u00a0 She knows the answer; she knows what she feels.\u00a0 This drives women mad \u2013 \"Okay, you're mad.\u00a0 You're mad because of this, that assumes this, that concludes with that, that obviously is not true.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0She wants to shoot you.\u00a0 Thirdly, do not argue.\u00a0 People, when your mate gets hurt, you stop the presses.\u00a0 And, fellows, if you want to alienate your wife so quickly when she's hurt, you start reasoning why she's wrong, as if she's supposed to go, \"Oh, okay.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You spread them, and you go, \"Sweetie,\" and you get your pen out, and you say, \"Yes, ma'am, I don't want to hurt you again.\u00a0 What did I do wrong?\"\u00a0 But don't you argue with your wife.\u00a0 That's so frightening to a woman to have a guy that is not perfect, but he's not even perfectable.\u00a0 She can't talk with him.\u00a0 She's got this monarch.\u00a0 Let her talk and listen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Fourthly, don't interrupt.\u00a0 Proverbs \u2013 \"He that giveth an answer before he hears, it is folly and a shame.\"\u00a0 Don't interrupt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Fifthly, never stomp out the door.\u00a0 I had a girl call me a few months ago, got in a conflict with a guy in my church, one of the guys in my church, her husband.\u00a0 She said, \"We were talking, he got his feelings hurt and walked out the door.\"\u00a0 I got him the next day, I said, \"Look at me.\u00a0 That's not a minor problem.\u00a0 That's cancer.\u00a0 Don't you ever do that again.\u00a0 You stay right there, but you never walk out.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Sixthly, don't vent your spleen outside.\u00a0 Don't go to the girls at the bank and talk about your worthless mate.\u00a0 Don't go to your fellows over at the club and talk about your sorry wife.\u00a0 You deal with them right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Guys, I want you to know \u2013 and ladies \u2013 if I ever got word back to me that my wife had said something about me, it would kill me.\u00a0 I would die right here if she broke our trust.\u00a0 Never talk about your mate outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Eighthly, no rude body language.\u00a0 Go ahead, you sit down, and you listen.\u00a0 And you know what?\u00a0 Let's watch what happens.\u00a0 How do you speak?\u00a0 Verse 4 \u2013 \"You're as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling; as lovely as Jerusalem, as awesome as an army with banners\" \u2013 meaning, \"I respect you, and you are as lovely as I ever remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Verse 5 \u2013 \"Turn your eyes away from me, for they have confused me.\"\u00a0 That means you're so beautiful I can't even talk to you.\u00a0 Do you know what he's doing, fellows?\u00a0 It's called forgiveness, and he is so forgiving that if you look at the rest of the verse, it's in the end of verse 5 and verse 6, verse 7 is the identical language of the honeymoon.\u00a0 He says, \"I love you like I always loved you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In verse 8 \"There are 60 queens, 80 concubines, maidens without number, my perfect one is unique.\"\u00a0 He says you're the only girl in the world for me.\u00a0 What's the principle here, ladies, guys?\u00a0 It's called forgiveness.\u00a0 \"I love you, and I can't even remember what you did.\"\u00a0 And not only does he forgive, but pick it up in verse 11, and we conclude \u2013 \"I went down to the orchard of nut trees to see the blossoms of the valley; to see whether the vine had budded or the pomegranates had bloomed, and before I was aware, my soul,\" meaning Solomon, \"set me over the chariots of my noble people.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When he took this woman and set her in his chariot over the noble people, it was the idea, \"I not only forgive you, I can't even remember what you have done.\"\u00a0 It's like it never occurred.\u00a0 Clara Barton, the head of the Red Cross, a noble Christian woman, was asked about somebody that had hurt her.\u00a0 She said, \"I distinctly remember forgetting that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Verse 13 \u2013 \"Come back, come back, O Shulamite.\"\u00a0 That is not her name, it's a nickname.\u00a0 Do you know what that is, girls?\u00a0 That's the female diminutive term for Solomon \u2013 Shulam, Shulamite.\u00a0 Tom \u2013 then you'd call my wife Tomasina.\u00a0 Mike, Michelin, and it means she belongs to him.\u00a0 What has conflict and forgiveness done?\u00a0 It's brought them closer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Complete this verse \u2013 where sin increased grace abounds.\u00a0 The way you grow close is by conflict.\u00a0 Verse 13, how does the text end?\u00a0 They leave together and the crowd says, \"Why should you gaze at the Shulamite as of the dance of two companies?\"\u00a0 It's a party.\u00a0 One company is Solomon, the other company is the Shulamite, and they're having a party.\u00a0 Conflict has brought intimacy, and it has brought joy.\u00a0 \"I love my wife so much because she has forgiven me so incredibly.\"\u00a0 Where sin increases grace abounds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Do you see, from the Bible, how to conflict?\u00a0 Don't react \u2013 respond.\u00a0 Let God change them.\u00a0 Talk, forgive, and forget.\u00a0 You can't do better than this 3,000-year-old document.\u00a0 And can I conclude with what will help you forgive?\u00a0 I'll tell you what helps me forgive is the fact of how I have been forgiven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I wasn't always somebody that owned a Bible or read it.\u00a0 I'm 44 years old.\u00a0 I became a Christian my junior year of college at the age of 21, and I was a wicked individual.\u00a0 I was sinful, I was lost, I was condemned, I was going to hell, and God didn't have to tell me who He was at all \u2013 I was a sinner.\u00a0 And a fellow came into my room and shared with my roommate, and I listened over his shoulder, and I found out that Jesus Christ died upon a cross at Calvary, and that the perfection that I needed to get to heaven that I had forfeited through my sin, He was the Holy One of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And the punishment that my sin deserved that I should have done, He died in my place and that God, through faith in His shed blood, could wash me clean of all of my guilt, and I could have security, I could have salvation and forgiveness.\u00a0 He could take his righteousness and give it to me as a free gift, and there could be no pride in me, there could be nothing but adoration, humiliation and thankfulness for Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I went to my room shortly after, and I knelt, and I said, \"Lord God, I have sinned.\u00a0 I am empty, and I can't make it.\u00a0 You come into my life, You forgive me of my sin.\u00a0 I take you as Savior.\u00a0 I've quit trying, I'll trust You.\"\u00a0 And as the Book of Revelation says, \"I stand at the door and knock, and if any man hears my voice and opens the door, I'll come into him.\"\u00a0 I heard, I opened, and He did, and He converted me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Every man in Christ is a new creation, old things pass away, behold, new things have come \u2013 I was made new, and that's the testimony of every single person here that names the name Christian, as they have put their faith.\u00a0 They have come with empty hands to the cross at Calvary and have been converted, and when you know that you are forgiven, it is quite an easy thing to forgive your mate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Are you going to have that receptacle of grace because you have trusted in Jesus Christ?\u00a0 If you haven't, before you try to get straight with a mate, why don't you get straight with the Maker?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, we've been listening again to Pastor Tommy Nelson, and has he has talked about communication today, he has reminded us here at the end, Dennis, that the foundation for reconciling differences in marriage is reconciliation with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, Ruth Graham says a good marriage is the union of two forgivers, and it's two people who have been forgiven.\u00a0 Ephesians, chapter 4, the last verse in that chapter says, \"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other\" \u2013 how?\u00a0 \"Just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And Tommy has reminded us that the basis of my ability to forgive Barbara is that I've been forgiven, and that presupposes, Bob, that I'm squared away with God; that I'm reconciled to God.\u00a0 First of all, by virtue of having placed faith in Christ as Lord and Savior and knowing that He has forgiven me but, also, Bob, I think it's experiencing that grace day in and day out where there is nothing between me and God; that I've not allowed anything to creep into my relationship with God so that God has turned his face away from me as David described in Psalm 51.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, I got an e-mail one day from one of our listeners who said, \"I like your program.\u00a0 I listen to it.\u00a0 I'm not a Christian, and I get kind of turned off when you start preaching every once in a while,\" but she said, \"I like what you have to say about marriage and family.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And at the end of the message today, Tommy was preaching a little bit, but I hope she didn't tune out because what we have to say about marriage and family is really secondary to what Tommy was talking about at the end of that message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, marriage is a spiritual institution.\u00a0 Its originator, its creator is Spirit.\u00a0 God is Spirit and truth, and He created marriage, and it only works best when two people are in right relationship with God.\u00a0 That means they are in tune with him, walking with him in obedience according to the Scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 And that's what Christian marriage was to be all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so I make no apology at points for us here on FamilyLife Today to turn to our audience and plead with them, and even as Paul did.\u00a0 He beseeched them, you know, \"Be reconciled to God.\"\u00a0 He pleaded with them to be made right with God and turn from their ways and repent.\u00a0 I think a large part of our problem today in the Christian community has been that we have allowed sin to enter in, and we haven't dealt with it.\u00a0 We haven't repented, we aren't reconciled with God, and therefore our human relationships simply don't work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And I think there are undoubtedly listeners, either regular listeners to FamilyLife Today or folks who have just tuned into today and heard Tommy's message, who, in the back of their mind, in a corner of their heart, they're feeling a tug.\u00a0 They know that they need to make some changes spiritually.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They know that something needs to be different about their lives, and that's what the message of the Gospel is all about.\u00a0 It's a message of transformation.\u00a0 You can't make yourself any better, and some of you know exactly what I'm talking about because you've tried to make yourself better, and it hasn't worked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But you can turn your life over to someone who will renovate it; who will do a transforming work in your life and in your marriage and your family and your relationships.\u00a0 And that person is Jesus Christ.\u00a0 And any of our listeners who would say, \"I need that.\u00a0 I need that area of my life to be addressed,\" we would like to send you a book by our friend, Jim Elliff.\u00a0 It's a book called \"Pursuing God,\" and it lays out very clearly what it means to have a day in, day out relationship with God through Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We'll send this book out to you at no cost with no obligation.\u00a0 We simply want to get information in your hands that can help you understand how to live in a right relationship with God, and you find that that relationship becomes the center of the wheel, and all the other relationships are like spokes on a wheel that get in alignment when you first have your relationship with God right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So if you're interested in the book, \"Pursuing God,\" you can either call us at 1-800-FLTODAY, or go online at FamilyLife.com, and just say, \"I need to make some changes spiritually in my life.\u00a0 I need to get my relationship with God settled,\" and we'll be happy to send you a copy of this book at no cost and, again, with no obligation.\u00a0 You can just request it again when you call 1-800-FLTODAY or when you go online at FamilyLife.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you go online, click the red heart, or the red button that you see right in the middle of the home page, and that will take you to a page where there is more information about the book, \"Pursuing God.\"\u00a0 You'll also find information about the six-CD series on the Song of Solomon that features 11 messages from Pastor Tommy Nelson along with a study guide.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This is a great series.\u00a0 It's been a very popular resource for our listeners here at FamilyLife Today, and we want to encourage you to, again, go to our website, FamilyLife.com, to request this series on CD, or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we can make arrangements to have this CD series sent out to you, or you can order it online, if you'd like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Let me mention one additional resource, if I can, and this is a resource that we are sending out this month to anyone who makes a donation of any amount to the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 It's a CD that features two messages from Pastor C.J. Mahaney and his wife, Carolyn.\u00a0 We call it \"Romance Basics for Men and Women.\"\u00a0 It gives simple, clear instruction, man-to-man and woman-to-woman, on how we can do a better job of expressing our love and our care for one another in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0This CD is our gift to anyone who can help with a donation of any amount for the ministry of FamilyLife Today during the month of February.\u00a0 It's our way of saying thanks for partnering with us in making this daily broadcast available on this station and on stations all across the country.\u00a0 When you make your donation online at FamilyLife.com, if you'd like to get the CD, all you have to do is write the word \"love\" in the keycode box as you fill out the donation form.\u00a0 Or if you call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation, you can simply ask for the CD on romance featuring the Mahaneys or the \"thank you CD.\"\u00a0 Our team will know what you're talking about, and they'll be happy to send it along to you, again, as our way of saying thank you for your financial support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow Tim Gardner is going to join us.\u00a0 He is the author of a book called \"Sacred Sex,\" and we're going to talk about what God has in mind for the marriage relationship and for intimacy in marriage.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us as we continue this conversation this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301300"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301300"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301300"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301300"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}