{"id":301209,"date":"2006-10-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-10-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/answering-the-cultures-questions-about-sex\/"},"modified":"2024-10-24T14:25:13","modified_gmt":"2024-10-24T18:25:13","slug":"answering-the-cultures-questions-about-sex","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/answering-the-cultures-questions-about-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Answering the Culture&#8217;s Questions about Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sean McDowell talks about the Christian&#8217;s practical yet biblical response to the culture&#8217;s questions about sex.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sean McDowell talks about the Christian&#8217;s practical yet biblical response to the culture&#8217;s questions about sex.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-10-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.35M","filesize_raw":"11902896","date_recorded":"2006-10-06 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855],"tags":[2209,2588,4817],"podcast_series":[7477],"cwp_profile":[9849],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301209","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","tag-parenting","tag-teens","tag-tweens","podcast_series-ethix-being-bold-in-a-whatever-world","cwp_profile-dr-sean-mcdowell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301209\/answering-the-cultures-questions-about-sex","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301209\/answering-the-cultures-questions-about-sex","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"4CzXmKrBf1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/answering-the-cultures-questions-about-sex\/\">Answering the Culture&#8217;s Questions about Sex<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/answering-the-cultures-questions-about-sex\/embed\/#?secret=4CzXmKrBf1\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Answering the Culture&#8217;s Questions about Sex&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"4CzXmKrBf1\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Sean McDowell talks about the Christian's practical yet biblical response to the culture's questions about sex.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-10-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Helping our children do what's right can be a challenge for us, as parents, especially if we didn't always do what was right.\u00a0 Here's Sean McDowell.<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I meet a lot of parents who will say, \"Gosh, you know, I've made mistakes, though.\u00a0 How can I tell my kid how he should act?\"\u00a0 And I say, \"Look, because you've made mistakes makes you the perfect person.\u00a0 Now, don't try to cover them up, don't preach at your kid, but just talk openly and honestly and fairly, not corner him in the car and force him to talk about something but, fairly, I think kids will respond.\"<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, October 6th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today how can we talk honestly with our kids about right and wrong if we messed up?<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, it's hard for me to really imagine our guest today as a younger man, although I met him as a younger man, back when he was 19 years old.\u00a0 Do you remember when we sat down \u2013 this was, what, 19 \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0\u2026 '95 \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0\u2026 95, we sat down with 19-year-old Sean McDowell.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Son of Josh McDowell.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0He was a little bit of a punk back then, do you think?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I wouldn't say that.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0You were a punk, weren't you?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0He had some edge to him.<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I think you drew it out of me a little bit.<\/p>\n<p>[laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0We were getting to interview \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Well said, Sean, I think you nailed Bob there, that was good.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0We were getting ready to interview Josh on \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0We wanted to surprise him a bit.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0He had written a book on how to, really, what was it?\u00a0 How to love your child \u2013 do you remember?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0\"How to be Here to your Kid,\" maybe that one?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0That's the one, that's the one.\u00a0 And it's good that you know it, by the way.\u00a0 And so we thought before we interview Josh, let's just see what kind of things his son would have to say about their relationship.\u00a0 And I don't know if you remember any of this, but you talked about how you and your dad would have fun.\u00a0 I want our listeners to hear what you said back then.<\/p>\n<p>[from audiotape]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Tell me what you would say would be your favorite memory of your dad?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0My favorite memory?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0That's right \u2013 of all the memories you've had with your dad growing up, what would be your favorite memory?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I can come up with a few different ones.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I can't think specifically.<\/p>\n<p>[end audiotape]<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0All right, stop the tape, stop the tape.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0That's right, let's find out what it is today.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0That was the question we asked.\u00a0 Now, if we were asking you today, favorite memory with your dad, let's see if you come up with the same one all these many years later.\u00a0 Have you got one?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0And you can only keep just one memory.\u00a0 This is my standard question.\u00a0 What memory would you keep and why?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0My guess is that I talked about jumping on beds, would be my guess.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Really?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Probably.\u00a0 Or one of my favorite memories is when we would sit around in the Jacuzzi, and my dad would make a little popcorn and put it in a tin bowl and float it around in the Jacuzzi and we'd just talk and kind of have fun and be goofy as a family.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, let's see if either of those was the answer you gave back then.<\/p>\n<p>[from audiotape]<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0 We were at a hotel.\u00a0 We stayed there.\u00a0 We locked all the doors and ordered room service, and we were jumping on the beds and just, you know, in the middle of a hotel.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Your dad was doing this?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Jumping on the bed?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Yeah, and we ordered, like, you know, this guy served us breakfast.\u00a0 He just brought a bunch of candy bars, and we just messed around and had fun.<\/p>\n<p>[end audiotape]<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0[bell dings] There you go, that's what you were thinking of, isn't it?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Not too bad, huh?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0You pulled out the old jumping on the bed and eating the candy bars for breakfast, didn't you?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I did.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Why?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0You know, I think that just \u2013 it just told me a couple of things; that, number one, as busy as my dad was, he wanted to do something that was important and valuable and fun for me, and at five that was my world.\u00a0 I mean, my son Scotty is two, and every night he goes, \"Daddy, after dinner, jump on beds.\"\u00a0 You know, so a dad who loves his kid is going to do the things that are most important for his son or daughter.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0And you're saying it's inherited that jumping on beds is a McDowell family kind of tradition, huh?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0That's one.\u00a0 There are some others I might not tell you on air, but that's probably one of the main McDowell traditions.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, we also had a chance to ask your dad about some ethical issues that parents face as they're raising their teenagers, and ask him what he would do if you pressed him on \u2013 I don't know that these are moral or ethical issues, but listen to what we talked about.<\/p>\n<p>[from audiotape]<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0What would you do if Sean came home and said, \"Dad, I'd like to get an earring?\"<\/p>\n<p>Josh:\u00a0I'd probably sit down and \u2013 I know he would come to me with that and not his mother.<\/p>\n<p>[laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I know that.\u00a0 That wouldn't bother me.\u00a0 I'd just sit down, I'd want to make sure he understood what he was doing, why he was doing it, what significance does he place on that, and I think a lot of it would depend on his answers, and then he'd have my blessing.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0In fact, you'd probably get out the awl and ball peen hammer and \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Josh:\u00a0Yeah, I would \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Let's hear what Sean has to say.<\/p>\n<p>Josh:\u00a0Well, you know, let me make the statement this way \u2013 is we've got to be careful where we draw the battle lines.\u00a0 Too many parents draw the battle lines with an earring, with long hair.\u00a0 No, I want to draw it with moral issues \u2013 with drugs and sex and disobedience \u2013 that's where I want to draw the battle lines.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Did you ever want to have earring in your ear?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Not really.\u00a0 I've thought about it.\u00a0 Actually, I did say that to my parents to test them to see what they would say.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Yeah, and?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0But my mom just said, you know, if you really want one, we'll sit down and talk about it, and I didn't really want one, anyway, so \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0What did your dad say?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Let's see, I don't think I really said it to my dad.\u00a0 He was just joking around, and going, \"Yeah, right.\"<\/p>\n<p>[laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0How about \u2013 have you ever wanted your hair to be longer than it is now?\u00a0 Or has it been longer?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0When I was in 7th grade, I was into skateboarding, and I shaved, like, all the sides around, and my hair was \u2013 I had long bangs and stuff, and I remember my mom \u2013 she just let me do it, and my dad said, you know, \"Let him go through the phase or whatever.\"<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0So he was cool with it, huh, he relaxed.<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Mm-hm, yeah.<\/p>\n<p>[end audiotape]<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You know, I'm looking at him right now.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I'm trying to imagine him with those shaved sides and the bangs.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I am, because he's a little short on the hair on the top right now instead of the bangs.\u00a0 I want you to just remove the headphones here in the studio.\u00a0 I don't see any pierced ears or anything.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0No, you never got to the diamond stud, did you?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You didn't pull that, did you?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I never did, no.\u00a0 I honestly never really wanted to have my ear pierced.\u00a0 But the hair thing, I did actually go \u2013 my mom freaked out, and my dad, the response he said, exactly \u2013 I wanted long hair and actually ended up bleaching it blond.\u00a0 And my dad was, like, \"Hey, it looks good, great.\"\u00a0 On the inside he might have been going, \"What is my son doing?\u00a0 Is this the beginning?\"\u00a0 And he said, \"Great, no problem,\" and \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Well, you know what?\u00a0 You're a good sport.\u00a0 You've allowed us to kind of venture back in the past here a couple of times this week, and it's not easy to be a Christian leader's kid in this culture, but you not only survived it, you've thrived through it.\u00a0 You are now a high school teacher, and you've written a book called \"Ethics,\" and we've emphasized all week a couple of things.<\/p>\n<p>Number one, which is relationships.\u00a0 If you're going to reach the next generation, you have to build a road, not to their head but to their heart, and that really is what these last two clips that we've played with you and your dad have been all about.\u00a0 Your dad understood he had to have a relationship with you, but the second thing that we've been emphasizing as well, is that parents today have to take truth to their children's hearts as well.\u00a0 Not just love them and hug them but give them a standard and call them to begin to believe that standard and base their lives on that standard and make choices against that standard.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0And I was interested, listening back to your dad talking about the difference between long hair or pierced ears, and he said, \"I'm not going to have a battle over those things.\u00a0 I'm going to have a battle over moral issues, because when it comes down to it, that's what matters.\u00a0 That's what our worldview is going to affect more than whether there's a pierced ear or long hair, right?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Yeah, and I think my parents really lived that.\u00a0 I mean, that was true for him.\u00a0 At times, I got into a band called Metallica for a little while in high school and started listening to them, and that raised \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0That's not a Christian band, is it?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Definitely not a Christian band.\u00a0 In fact, kind of the opposite.\u00a0 They sing a lot about despair, and it was just popular, so I was into it, and that was a battle line that he was concerned about.\u00a0 I was a sophomore or junior in high school, so I was starting to be on my own.\u00a0 Obviously, he couldn't discipline me as if I was seven or eight listening to that, and I remember, he just sat down, and he said, \"Son, you know, I understand you're enjoying some Metallica.\u00a0 Have you thought through what that means and what it's saying, and it obviously concerns me,\" and we just talked it out.\u00a0 He left, and I kind of just took it to heart and stopped listening to them, and the main reason was because of the relationship that we had built.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Well, because of that relationship, your parents taught you a lot of things.\u00a0 I want to know who taught you about the birds and the bees?\u00a0 Do you remember who had the first conversation with you and how it occurred?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0You know what?\u00a0 I'll tell you this \u2013 I don't think I've every formally had the discussion of the birds and the bees, but I would say here is how it worked \u2013 always, from when we were younger, it was age appropriate opportunities to teach me about sexuality.\u00a0 So by the time I got 10, 11, 12, we were having a little bit more sophisticated discussions.<\/p>\n<p>Now, a thing my dad would do, and I didn't really see it at the time, but he would just find a newspaper article or put a song on in the car and just kind of act like it happened so we could talk about it.\u00a0 But it was very strategic and, I mean, over dinnertime and having a McDonald's with Dad, my dad would come home when I was probably 9 or 10, and he'd say, he'd sit and go, \"Look at this research they're doing on sexually transmitted diseases,\" and just lay it out there.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Nine or 10?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I'm not kidding \u2013 like, probably 9, 10, 11 years old, we would have sophisticated discussions, appropriately and in a relationship about sexuality.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0So did you face the adolescent years with some convictions already in place about how you were going to approach the issue of sexuality?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Certainly, by the time I was about 11, 12, 13 years old, my hormones started kicking in.\u00a0 I had already been able to think through what is God's design for sex, what are the implications of the choices that I'll make, how should I treat the opposite sex?\u00a0 Now, I wasn't perfect, but I certainly had an understanding and an ability to deal with those situations and plan ahead of time and just save myself a lot of heartache.\u00a0 And I thank God, I've been married six years, and I just look back, and the more I'm married that I'm just so thankful to my parents and, you know, by God's provision that I did have parents that built a relationship with me, spent time with me, helped me to think through some of these issues, and I feel like I'm really reaping the benefits in my life now.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I was talking to a dad not long ago, and he'd been having a conversation with his teenage son about this subject, and his son had made the statement, \"Dad, I'm not going to be sexually active.\u00a0 I don't want to get a sexually transmitted disease, and I don't want to get anyone pregnant.\"\u00a0 And the dad said to me, he said, \"You know, I'm glad for my son having that conviction, but I wish he would have said, 'Dad, I don't want to be sexually active.\u00a0 I know that would not please the heart of God, and I want to glorify Him.'\"\u00a0 As a parent, do we settle for the pragmatic too often?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0I think we do.\u00a0 Now, the pragmatic plays a role, and studies will show that one of the weakest ways to motivate somebody to make changes is fear.\u00a0 It works in the temporary, but it doesn't have lasting change.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, though, when it comes to sexuality, fear of STDs is a prime motive that will stop students from having sex.\u00a0 Now, I'll do whatever it takes to get kids to not have sex but, I agree with you, that if we tell kids not to have sex because of consequences, and then there's condoms, and a kid thinks they can get away with it, then they're going to choose to have sex.\u00a0 So I think the deeper reason is \u2013 I do a couple of things with kids.\u00a0 I help students to think through biblically and realize, studies show \u2013 in fact, in the back of USA Today there was an article in 1999 called \"Aha!\u00a0 Call it the Revenge of the Church Ladies.\"<\/p>\n<p>And it was the most methodologically accurate study about sexuality, and they found, for multiple reasons, that those who follow a biblical pattern for sex had the most fulfilling, satisfying sex lives.\u00a0 Well, there's multiple reasons for that, but want kids to explore that and realize that the choices they're making right now, they're not saying no to one thing, they're saying yes to something else.\u00a0 They're saying no to the pain right now or the potential consequences; they're saying yes to marriage, they're saying yes to intimacy, they're saying yes to trust to their future kids.\u00a0 So that perspective, and then ultimately bringing it back to the character of God when we do that, I think we give kids a powerful and a fighting chance to stay pure today.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I'm listening to you, and I'm just reflecting back on what Barbara and I did as parents, and we certainly did not do it all perfect.\u00a0 But we attempted to stay engaged with our children beginning when they were little and, you know, sex education starts when they're small, when they're toddlers, and, you know, they're exploring their bodies and looking at parents, and you begin naming body parts, you know, and they begin to notice that they're different, and all the way through grade school there's discussions at different points as opportunities present themselves.<\/p>\n<p>We watched a Public Broadcasting special called \"Nova,\" and that was great sex education, because my daughter, Ashley, asked the question, \"How does the sperm get inside the mama?\"\u00a0 And later on I answered that question for Ashley.<\/p>\n<p>But as I've thought about it and just listening to you talk, Sean, what we, as parents, have to do is we have to engage our children purposely when they're young and not think of \"the talk,\" a birds-and-the-bees discussion as a one-time event; that it is a discussion that occurs over a lifetime.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, just the other day I was thinking about talking to some of our married children just in terms of how they're doing, you know?\u00a0 Making sure they pay attention to the needs of their spouse and caring for one another.\u00a0 Now, in life, who else is going to do that with you?\u00a0 Who is going to have that conversation?\u00a0 Your parents.<\/p>\n<p>And I think the wholesome aspect of the Christian family and the Scriptures put together is the relational and the truth married together.\u00a0 It's powerful, isn't it?<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Amen.\u00a0 Relationships and truth is ultimately what the Gospel comes back to.\u00a0 You mentioned the importance of parents talking to their kids \u2013 all studies show that kids take their cues from their parents.\u00a0 Kids take cues from what their parents are teaching them or not teaching them.<\/p>\n<p>I had a parent come in just this week.\u00a0 I teach a freshman unit on sexuality for about three weeks, and a mom came in.\u00a0 She has a freshman son who just turned 15 and said, \"You know, I've never talked with my son about this.\u00a0 Can you give me some hints?\"\u00a0 Well, I didn't tell her this, but in the back of my mind I wanted to say, \"It's too late.\"<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Yeah, it was.\u00a0 And it's probably been a peer who has given him some information and who knows that the peer told him, and \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Who knows how accurate it is.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0That's right, and if he hasn't picked it up from peers, the media has been bombarding him with all kinds of things.\u00a0 You're right, at 15 the chances that he has not connected the dots on this one is pretty unlikely.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Yeah, and I'm just thinking, as we're talking here, you have to have the discussion with your child, I think, first, second, third grade.\u00a0 It doesn't have to be full-blown human sexuality, but it needs to the fundamentals of what it's all about, all right?\u00a0 But then I think one of the most important times in a young person's life is right before adolescence, and, Bob, there's where Passport to Purity, a little weekend getaway with a father\/son or a mother\/daughter for a 10-, 11-, 12-year-old, which is a Friday night, all day Saturday, it's all mapped out in this little kit that enables you to make sure your son or daughter have not only heard a thorough discussion about human sexuality from a Christian perspective but, beyond that, making some decisions about how far they're going to go with the opposite sex, what's the basis of their beliefs and pointing out the flawed thinking of peers.<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Really, I think there's a couple of obstacles that prevent parents from having this discussion like you were talking about.\u00a0 I meet a lot of parents who will say, \"Gosh, you know, I've made mistakes, though.\u00a0 How can I tell my kid how they should act?\"\u00a0 And I say, \"Look, because you've made mistakes makes you the perfect person.\u00a0 Now, don't try to cover them up, don't preach at your kid, but just talk openly and honestly, and many kids will listen.\u00a0 Second, parents will say, \"Well, I just don't know, how am I supposed to know?\"\u00a0 Well, pick up a resource, do a little bit of reading, and chances are the questions kids are going to have, you're going to know.<\/p>\n<p>You know, kids don't expect their parents to be perfect, they just want them to be real and open.\u00a0 I've seen it over and over again, when parents are willing to talk openly and honestly and fairly with their kids, not corner them in the car and force them to talk about something, but fairly, I think kids will respond.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0And the best place for that to happen \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0Is the family, number one.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Is at home, and then if it can be supported at church, and in a school setting, I think that's great as well.\u00a0 But one thing every parent needs to have as they seek to raise children in this culture, are resources, to be able to encourage their son or daughter with, and that's where I think Sean McDowell's book, \"Ethics,\" is extremely helpful.\u00a0 He's got a whole chapter here on the subject of sexuality, where he talks about the purposes and why God created it, and the thing he does that we can't do sometimes, is he talks in their language and in a way that they can not only understand but also can begin to grapple with individually and come to their own convictions.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0From time to time, you've employed a strategy where you've taken a book like this and gone to your teenagers and offered to pay them to read a book like this?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I have, shamelessly.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0And then get a book report back.\u00a0 I mean, you want some work product for your money.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0In fact, I think I did that with your son one time.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, we did that with the book that you wrote with your kids, \"So You're About to be a Teenager,\" and, yeah, you offered to pay \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Ten bucks or something.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0My son, and you got a pretty decent book report back on that, do you remember?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I did, he did a good job on that, and I think what Sean has reminded us of here is that young people today are far more capable of thinking and making quality choices and really processing information than we give them credit for, and our problem is we're not challenging that to a high enough standard.<\/p>\n<p>Sean:\u00a0We really lower the bar so many times for kids.\u00a0 In fact, I taught this week on intelligence design to 7th graders, and they got it.\u00a0 They could understand concepts about design and how there's purpose, and you can see in the world, where most people would say, \"Well, they can't get that until they're in high school or college.\"\u00a0 I agree completely that kids are capable of processing so much more, and part of that is a result of the Internet age where kids have so much information and images shot at them so early that they're processing things at an earlier age than you or I ever did.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Yes, and I think the key is giving them the right information; not just leaving them to the world to gather their worldview of sexuality from \"Desperate Housewives\" or commercials in the Super Bowl or MTV or music.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0But, as you know, there are a lot of moms and dads who feel inadequate when it comes to subjects like this, because they're not exactly sure what to say.\u00a0 They don't know if their logic or their moral reasoning is going to stand against the bombardment of a teenager who is going to say, \"Well, why?\u00a0 Why do you believe that way?\u00a0 What makes you so sure you're right?\"\u00a0 And that's where a tool like Sean's book, \"Ethics,\" can be very helpful not just to pass on to our teenagers and say, \"Here, read this,\" but for us to read and to make sure that we are ready to offer a biblical explanation of why we believe what we believe and why we think it's true not just for us but for all of us.<\/p>\n<p>We've got copies of Sean's book \"Ethics,\" in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 I want to invite our listeners.\u00a0 Call us, get a copy, go online, request a copy.\u00a0 Again, the book is called \"Ethics\" \u2013 e-t-h-i-x \u2013 \"Being Bold in a Whatever World.\"\u00a0 Go to our website at FamilyLife.com and in the middle of the home page you'll see a red button that says \"Go,\" and if you click that button, it will take you right to the site where you can get more information about Sean's book, you can order online, if you'd like.<\/p>\n<p>There's also information available there about your book, Dennis, \"Parenting Today's Adolescent,\" where you and your wife Barbara took 14 issues that are facing parents of teenagers and those young people as well.\u00a0 Moral issues like drinking or drugs or premarital sex, peer pressure, things that are going to be challenges for your young people as they grow up.\u00a0 This is a book that's designed to help moms and dads think through how to approach this with your children and then to help press the children to think rightly about these subjects as well.<\/p>\n<p>Again, there's more information on all of these resources in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Go to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Click the red \"Go\" button, and it will take you right to the page where you can get more information or place an order, if you'd like.\u00a0 You can also call us at 1-800-FLTODAY, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and someone on our team can let you know how you can get any of these resources sent to you.<\/p>\n<p>By the way, for those of you who are helping us this month here at FamilyLife with our financial needs, helping us stay on the air on this station and on stations all across the country, our team wants to say thank you this month by making available a CD from Barbara Rainey where Barbara talks to a group of women about what a wife can do to help her husband be the man that God wants him to be.\u00a0 Sending out this CD is our way of saying thank you when you make a donation of any amount this month to the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 It's those donations that not only keep us on the air, but they keep our website up and running and really support a number of the ministries that are part of FamilyLife Today, and your donations are tax deductible as well.\u00a0 And, listen, we don't want to do anything that would cause you to take away what you're currently giving to your local church.\u00a0 That should be your top giving priority, but beyond that, if you are able to help with a donation of any amount this month to FamilyLife Today, we'll be happy to send you the CD from Barbara Rainey on helping your husband step up to be God's man.<\/p>\n<p>If you're making the donation online, when you come to the keycode box in your donation form, just type in the two letters, \"CD,\" and we'll know that you'd like Barbara's CD sent out to you or call 1-800-FLTODAY, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone, and when you do just mention that you'd like Barbara's CD sent out to you, and we'll be happy to get that to you.\u00a0 Again, let me say thanks for your financial support this month.\u00a0 We do appreciate hearing from you.<\/p>\n<p>Well, I hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can be back with us on Monday when we're going to talk about preventive maintenance for your marriage \u2013 things you can do to help your marriage go another 12 months or 12,000 miles.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have a great weekend, we'll see you Monday for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ.<\/p>\n<p>________________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a 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