{"id":301159,"date":"2006-07-18T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-07-18T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/understanding-your-role-as-a-wife\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:42:23","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:42:23","slug":"understanding-your-role-as-a-wife","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-your-role-as-a-wife\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Your Role as a Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cindy Easley encourages women to appreciate their husbands in ways they&#8217;ll notice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-07-18.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.35M","filesize_raw":"11902272","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2831],"tags":[4187,4022,4001],"podcast_series":[7463],"cwp_profile":[3391],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301159","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wives","tag-husbands","tag-wives","tag-women","podcast_series-a-heart-to-heart-talk-with-wives","cwp_profile-cindy-easley","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301159\/understanding-your-role-as-a-wife","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301159\/understanding-your-role-as-a-wife","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"B1s9KzfjFp\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-your-role-as-a-wife\/\">Understanding Your Role as a Wife<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-your-role-as-a-wife\/embed\/#?secret=B1s9KzfjFp\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Understanding Your Role as a Wife&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"B1s9KzfjFp\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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notice.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-07-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Michael and Cindy Easley hadn't been married long when they began to realize that being married is a little bit like dancing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCindy:\u00a0There's two ways that you're led by someone on the dance floor.\u00a0 The first is by the hands.\u00a0 You put your hands together, and you keep your arm stiff, and they either push on your hand for you to go backwards, or they let up pressure, and you know to go forward, okay?\u00a0 So you're feeling, you're constantly feeling for these pressure points to know where to go.\u00a0 So the first thing I had to do was learn how Michael led, how much pressure was I going to feel?\u00a0 The second thing is sometimes I needed to ask him for a better lead.\u00a0 The third thing we learned is that if I didn't follow, we didn't dance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, July 18th.\u00a0 Have you been stepping on one another's toes recently?\u00a0 Stay with us.\u00a0 We'll see if we can give you some dance lessons today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 And, you know, our daughter, Amy, is just a few days away from getting married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0How are you doing?\u00a0 I notice that you're walking a lot lighter in your shoes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You noticed that \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You've taken some coins out of your pocket for the ol' wedding.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It is a little lighter.\u00a0 We're all looking forward to the celebration of Amy's wedding, and one of the things that was a lot of fun for me was back in the spring Amy and her fianc\u00e9 went to one of our Weekend to Remember conferences.\u00a0 They went to one in Southern California, and, of course, I called as soon as the conference was over and said, \"Well, well, what did you think?\"\u00a0 You know, I wanted the debrief.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And both of them said it was really good, and here's a list of books we'd like you to get for us.\u00a0 They had copied down a number \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Looking for a freebie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 a number of books that they'd heard mentioned at the conference that they wanted to start going through, and I thought, \"Well, I'll make that investment in a day.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Because I wanted them, as they start their marriage, to have the right foundation and, frankly, I want to make sure a year from now they're back at one of the Weekend to Remember conferences and going through it again after they have a few months of cohabiting under their belts, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, legal cohabiting.\u00a0 That word could be misunderstood.\u00a0 And the reason we want our children to get to the Weekend to Remember is we know that they're going to get the biblical blueprints for what it looks like to be a husband, a father, a wife, and a mother.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, and this month we are encouraging our listeners to sign up for one of these conferences.\u00a0 We're going to be hosting them in cities all across the country this fall, and we would like folks to go to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 On the site, you'll find a list of all of the upcoming conferences, what weekend they're being held in which city.\u00a0 You can decide which is the right conference for you to attend, and then if you'll register between now and the end of July, you will save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 That's a FamilyLife Today listener special, we call it \"Bob's Special Offer\" around here, and as you fill out the form online to register, when you come to the keycode box \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0They have to drop your name.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You need to type my name, \"Bob\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0In the keycode box.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0In the keycode box.\u00a0 That way we know you're a FamilyLife Today listener.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Can you spell it backwards?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0If you'd like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And it works that way, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yes.\u00a0 You can go in either direction.\u00a0 You could also call 1-800-FLTODAY to register or to get any questions you have answered, and there you don't have to mention my name.\u00a0 You just mention you're a FamilyLife Today listener, and that's good enough. We'll give you the group rate.\u00a0 That means you'll save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee, and you'll be in line for a fun, romantic weekend getaway where together you'll learn just what you were talking about -- what God's plan is for husbands, wives, moms, dads, what the Bible has to say about building a stronger marriage and a healthy family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And earlier we had the chance to hear Cindy Easley, she is the wife of Michael Easley, president of Moody Bible Institute, and Michael and Cindy are good friends and have been speaking at our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences for a number of years.\u00a0 In fact, Michael and Cindy have won the highest award we give to our speaker team, The President's Award.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That's right, he's got that trophy, and he keeps it in the basement of his house, is that what you said?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, I spent the night with them one time, and I found it not merely in the basement, but the trophy -- and, folks, it was a nice trophy.\u00a0 It was a nice trophy, and I realize this broadcast is heard on a number of Moody outlets around the country \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 maybe not any longer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I want the trophy out of the basement is what I wonder any longer.\u00a0 Anyway, Cindy is going to speak here to the wives about how you can be a supportive wife.\u00a0 You know, when God made a woman, in Genesis, chapter 2, He described her as a helpmate, one who comes alongside her husband, and her job description is very clear in Ephesians, chapter 5.\u00a0 Let's listen to Cindy Easley.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCindy:\u00a0[from Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference] Proverbs 31 reads, \"An excellent wife you can find, for her worth is far above jewels.\u00a0 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.\u00a0 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.\"\u00a0 Support is a complementary, not a competitive way of relating to your husband.\u00a0 It's complementary.\u00a0 Again, in Proverbs goes on -- \"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, that he who shames him is as rottenness to the bones,\" and he needs your support in three areas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0First, he needs support in his job.\u00a0 Sometimes that means accepting an unusual schedule.\u00a0 Are any of you in here military wives?\u00a0 God bless you, thank you.\u00a0 In our church we have about 90 men and women who have been deployed to Iraq.\u00a0 We do have a very large church and a very large military community.\u00a0 I so admire the families that have been left behind.\u00a0 We have families in our church that the husbands were reservists.\u00a0 They were just -- had regular jobs, and yet they've been deployed for a year in Iraq.\u00a0 And the steadfastness these women have is beyond human.\u00a0 They are so willing to allow their husbands to do what their husbands were called to, that sometimes when I complain about Michael being late two hours, I'm ashamed, because they're willing to give it up for a year, give it all up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Sometimes we have to accept an unusual schedule.\u00a0 Sometimes it means to accept our husbands, support them in their job, is to be involved in their job.\u00a0 No, no, you're not going to go to work with your husband, that's not what I mean.\u00a0 But sometimes we do need to ask questions.\u00a0 We need to understand what they do.\u00a0 It might be that you need to offer to invite over the people he works with and have a barbecue this summer, just to have a way to get involved.\u00a0 Another little tiny way to get involved that I think is quite helpful is to go to, like, one of these Glamour Shot places or at least a good photographer and have a really good photograph made of yourself, and then have it displayed predominantly in your husband's office or workplace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, I've got to tell you, you know, would think a pastor, it would be a pretty safe place to be, but there are women who see my husband on Sunday morning at his best, and they don't realize that he's a man, and all that that entails, and so they come into the office, and they are actually out for my husband.\u00a0 Isn't that shocking?\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 There are women out there that are out for your husband, too.\u00a0 You're thinking, \"Not a chance.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Big change, believe me, because when he's cleaned up at work, he's different, right?\u00a0 So you need to state your presence.\u00a0 Number two, he needs your support in public.\u00a0 I hope you wouldn't scream at your husband in public.\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 You might do what I do.\u00a0 I have two things I do that I believe is not supporting my husband in public.\u00a0 The first is something called sarcasm.\u00a0 Do you know what sarcasm is?\u00a0 It's humor with a message.\u00a0 Do you know what I've discovered?\u00a0 When I'm sarcastic with Michael in public, I've got to reel back and figure out what is bugging me, and it may take me two or three days to figure it out, and then I have to go to him in private and say, \"This is a problem.\u00a0 We've got to deal with this, and I apologize for being sarcastic with you,\" because that's not ever helpful.\u00a0 It makes everyone uncomfortable in the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The second thing that I found out that I do, and I am working on this today, and that is that I correct his stories.\u00a0 Isn't it amazing how wrong our husbands can be when they're telling stories?\u00a0 You know, they say it was on a Sunday -- it was on a Saturday.\u00a0 They say they did it -- you did it.\u00a0 They say it was your third child -- it was your first child.\u00a0 But do you know what I've figured out?\u00a0 The details of the story really don't ever matter, they really don't.\u00a0 And so I've learned, I am learning, I constantly fight this because it really bugs me some days, to let him tell the story how he sees it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Third, our husbands need our support in the home, and I think the place that this comes into play in my life mostly is around the children.\u00a0 It's that I need to not step in and interfere in my husband's parenting.\u00a0 I need to not step in and disagree with his leadership in front of the children.\u00a0 There is a time that I go and say, \"I think you overreacted with this child.\u00a0 Let me tell you what's going on in their heart,\" or something like that, or, \"I think you let him get away with too much.\u00a0 I know he's a boy but, you know?\u00a0 So there's times that I will do that, but that is in private not in front of the kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Letter C, he needs support as leader of the relationship.\u00a0 This support is called -- I hate this word -- \"submission\" in Scripture.\u00a0 Let's look.\u00a0 What is submission?\u00a0 First, submission does not mean -- it does not mean \"to be inferior.\"\u00a0 Remember, we are all equal -- equal value -- it is role not rank.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0B, it does not mean to lose your identity and become a nonperson.\u00a0 It does not mean that you don't have any thoughts or feelings or emotions and that you don't express those.\u00a0 It never means blind obedience.\u00a0 Submission is not intellectual suicide.\u00a0 It does not mean you should feel used.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It is not, Letter E, allowing your husband to violate the law or to be physically abusive and, Letter F, to be submissive does not mean that you follow your husband into sin.\u00a0 We should always be submissive to God before anyone else.\u00a0 That's what submission is not.\u00a0 So what is submission?\u00a0 Submission, first of all, is responding to your husband's leadership with a view to God's design for marriage.\u00a0 I have found the more willing I am to follow, the better leader Michael becomes.\u00a0 It's fascinating.\u00a0 Submission does mean encouraging your husband to lead by willingly coming under his leadership.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Several years ago, Michael and I took ballroom dancing.\u00a0 Not, you know, like the fru-fru stuff, because he does a lot of weddings, and I just wanted to be able to get out on the floor and dance with my husband.\u00a0 You know, when I was in high school and went to prom, we did this kind of dancing -- you know, that was our slow dancing, that bear-hug stuff, and I don't think Michael even did that.\u00a0 We didn't go to the same high school, so I wouldn't know, but I really wanted to take ballroom dancing.\u00a0 I had for years.\u00a0 I just wanted to learn how to do things like the foxtrot and the waltz and those kind of things.\u00a0 And so he, as a surprise, set up ballroom dancing lessons for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, first of all, what I found out was they weren't quite as romantic as I thought they would be, because he sweats a whole lot on the dance floor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But as we took this 10-week lesson, we began to learn things about our marriage through ballroom dancing.\u00a0 It was fascinating, and let me give you three little lessons I learned through ballroom dancing.\u00a0 The first is that I had to learn how Michael led on the dance floor.\u00a0 Now, when you are dancing like that -- some of you are great dancers, and so you're going to know this, but those of you who don't -- there's two ways that you're led by someone on the dance floor.\u00a0 The first is by the hands.\u00a0 You put your hands together, and you know how -- usually, you dance, you just hold your hands -- what you really do is you keep your arm stiff, and you put your hands together either like this or this, and they either push on your hand for you to go backwards, or they let up pressure, and you know to go forward, okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing is that the hand on the small of your back, they put pressure on your back to either move you forward, or they let up to go back.\u00a0 And they also use the palm of their hand to move you to the right or the tips of their hands to move you -- that would be to the left or to the right.\u00a0 So you're feeling, you're constantly feeling for these pressure points to know where to go.\u00a0 Because, remember, you're a lot of times going backwards and haven't a clue if you're about to run into somebody.\u00a0 It's somewhat frightening.\u00a0 So the first thing I had to do was learn how Michael led, how much pressure was I going to feel?\u00a0 The second thing is sometimes I needed to ask him for a better lead.\u00a0 Sometimes he would say, \"Cindy, you're not following me,\" and I'd say, \"Michael, I don't know where you're taking me.\u00a0 I need to feel your lead.\u00a0 I need more pressure there.\u00a0 I need to know, where are we going.\u00a0 I need a firmer lead.\u00a0 The third thing we learned is that if I didn't follow, we didn't dance.\u00a0 We stood there on the dance floor tripping over each other.\u00a0 Ballroom dancing does wonders for your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe top of page 137 -- last -- the last responsibility that a wife has is respecting her husband.\u00a0 And let the wife see to it that she respects her husband.\u00a0 Respect means to voluntarily regard another person with honor, esteem, and deference.\u00a0 Respect can't be demanded.\u00a0 We have to be willing to give it.\u00a0 Respecting your husband involves two things -- understanding and appreciation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst, we need to understand and appreciate the weight of his responsibilities and pressures.\u00a0 Michael told you about how I like to look at houses, and just driving by them, I especially like old houses, like stone houses, and it never dawned on me that he was feeling pressure that he wasn't a good provider until he told me.\u00a0 How many of you own a pressure cooker?\u00a0 You know, it used to be, 10 years ago when I started this conference, everybody had one.\u00a0 Today we don't even know what they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, let me tell you about a pressure cooker.\u00a0 We, our husbands, are like pressure cookers.\u00a0 When you have a pressure cooker, from what I understand -- I used to watch my mom can things, and she would -- we would get the peas or whatever ready -- black-eyed peas -- and she would put them in Ball jars, put them inside the pressure cooker, she would put the top on the pressure cooker, lock it, and put this little round thing on this little valve thing.\u00a0 Those are the technical terms.\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 And then she'd say, \"Oh, kids, hey, kids, back out of the kitchen in case it blows.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0All right?\u00a0 I won't use a pressure cooker because I don\u2019t trust myself not to let it blow.\u00a0 So our husbands are like those pressure cookers with that little valve, and we're like that little round thing that sits on top.\u00a0 You know, our husbands can come in from a day of work, or we can meet them somewhere in the middle of our day, and we know when they're under pressure, don't we?\u00a0 We can be like the top of that little pressure where we let it off.\u00a0 In a pressure cooker, you're supposed to let that steam off, right?\u00a0 We can be like that pressure cooker, we can let it off.\u00a0 Or we can tighten that baby down until they blow.\u00a0 You know what the sick part is?\u00a0 Sometimes we like to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Isn't that right?\u00a0 And we are the only people that can help your husband let off that pressure.\u00a0 We need to understand the weight and appreciate the weight of the responsibilities and their pressures.\u00a0 Too, we need to understand and appreciate their unique needs as a man.\u00a0 They are different, aren't they?\u00a0 We need to understand and appreciate he is different as a man.\u00a0 Boy, you've heard that a lot this weekend, haven't you?\u00a0 They are different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Letter C, encouragement means saying and doing things both that build them up.\u00a0 Number 2 -- encouragement says, \"I believe in you.\"\u00a0 It's knowing your husband's strengths and building on them.\u00a0 It's pointing out the things he does well to him.\u00a0 It's complimenting him when he's in a situation that he's handled it very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Admiration demonstrates respect that energizes your husband.\u00a0 It's saying, \"Thank you,\" even when it's their job.\u00a0 Now, you know, your husband may be the one that takes the trash out.\u00a0 Have you ever thought about thanking him for doing that?\u00a0 You know, there's times that Michael most nights, actually, he puts our two smaller children to bed.\u00a0 He reads them a story, usually a biblical story, and then he puts them into bed, prays with them, and comes down.\u00a0 Now, that is called \"parenting,\" right?\u00a0 It is his job.\u00a0 He is their parent.\u00a0 But I have learned that when he comes downstairs, if I say, \"I am so thankful that you did that tonight, thank you so much because I am at the end of my energy, and I really appreciate you doing that.\"\u00a0 Then he feels better, and the next night he is often willing to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Number 2, admiration says \"I'm proud of you,\" and that's verbally and non-verbally.\u00a0 It's nonverbally going and standing by your husband and letting people know that this is your husband, introducing him to people you know, to your friends, to other people in your life that have impacted you.\u00a0 And also it is telling him, \"I am so proud of you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, my husband has been a pastor for about 18 years, and we've been in from a small church.\u00a0 Our first church was very, very small to now a very, very large church, and he is the senior pastor, he's the talking head, the one that gets up there every week and speaks, and a very interesting thing happens in our home every Sunday.\u00a0 We have four services.\u00a0 I go to the first two hours, and then -- so he doesn't get home until quite a bit later from the kids and I.\u00a0 And he walks in the door, and after he changes, almost every Sunday he'll say, \"So, how'd I do?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, he doesn't always use those words.\u00a0 Sometimes it's \"How was that illustration, or did you think that fell flat,\" or he'll almost always ask me.\u00a0 Now, this kind of slays me, because in our congregation where we're located, we have senators, congressmen, admirals, generals, we have some high-powered people.\u00a0 Do you know who he really cares about?\u00a0 Me, my opinion.\u00a0 And your husband does, too.\u00a0 Sometimes he quits asking, though, because he knows he's not going to get anything that is going to affirm him; that's going to show admiration.\u00a0 We need to verbally say, \"I am so proud of you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Because deep down we all know this one thing -- what truly matters in this life is helping others to win, even if it means slowing yourself down and changing your course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, we've been listening again to Cindy Easley talking about how a wife can support and love and affirm her husband, and you were chuckling as she was talking about Michael asking, \"How did I do?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah, that's because I ask Barbara the same thing.\u00a0 But I was also chuckling, I was thinking, you know, there are a lot of wives who aren't married to speakers, and your husband is still wondering, \"How am I doing?\"\u00a0 And just around his role of being a husband, a father, a provider, I think it's the wise woman who uses her words to build her husband up and not tear him down, and I think that's Cindy's point here, and every woman would, I think, be wise to regularly point out to their husbands what they're doing right.\u00a0 You know, just think of how the average husband comes home from work, and I realize wives come home from work, too.\u00a0 Some of them have their work all day long at home, you know, come home, they are at work all day and don't get a chance to leave it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But just allow me, for a second, to be a man and talk to wives about this -- a man can come home and you know what?\u00a0 His home is his harbor, and if he gets beaten up there, too, then, you know, it's not quite the safe place in the storm that it needs to be and, Bob, it's why I really -- I just commend every young couple and, for that matter, any couple who has been married 15, 25, 30, 35, 40 years go to the Weekend to Remember because all of us need help and encouragement and training to be better at the major responsibilities that we have in life and certainly in our marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, and, as you know, this month we're trying to add a little incentive to encourage FamilyLife Today listeners to set aside a weekend this fall and be at one of our upcoming conferences.\u00a0 If you will register for one of the fall conferences between now and the end of July, you can save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee simply by being a FamilyLife Today listener.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Here is what you ought to do.\u00a0 You ought to go to the website, FamilyLife.com, you'll find there a listing of locations where the conference is being held this fall.\u00a0 The dates are there, all of the information you need.\u00a0 Figure out which weekend works for you, which location is best for you, and then you can either register online or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and register over the phone.\u00a0 We could also answer any questions you might have about upcoming date and locations when you call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 When you call, make sure to mention you're a FamilyLife Today listener in order to qualify for the $60 per couple savings off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you're registering online, you will come to a keycode box.\u00a0 As you fill out the registration type my name in there.\u00a0 Just type in \"Bob.\"\u00a0 They will know that you're entitled to Bob's Special Offer, that's what they call it around here, and you will save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, this is available, again, only through the month of July.\u00a0 So today would be a good day to go ahead and take care of that, get online or call 1-800-FLTODAY and make plans to be a part of one of these upcoming events when it comes to a city near where you live this fall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And if, for some reason, you're not able to be at the Weekend to Remember conference, you can hear the messages from a Weekend to Remember in our Weekend to Remember CD album.\u00a0 In fact, the message we've been listening to this week from Cindy Easley is a part of that CD album.\u00a0 If you'd like more information about ordering the entire CD series, go to our website, FamilyLife.com or ask for details when you call 1-800-FLTODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow we want to tell you about a recent Weekend to Remember conference that was held in the Dallas-Fort Worth area that turned out to be one for the ages.\u00a0 We'll give you the information tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a 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