{"id":301150,"date":"2006-07-11T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-07-11T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-legal-cost-of-divorce\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:42:23","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:42:23","slug":"the-legal-cost-of-divorce","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-legal-cost-of-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"The Legal Cost of Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>DivorceCare founder Steve Grissom talks honestly about the financial, as well as legal, aspects of a divorce.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-07-11.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.35M","filesize_raw":"11901440","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2812],"tags":[4033,4691],"podcast_series":[7462],"cwp_profile":[9019],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301150","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-realities-of-divorce","tag-divorce","tag-saving-a-marriage","podcast_series-before-you-divorce","cwp_profile-steve-grissom","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301150\/the-legal-cost-of-divorce","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301150\/the-legal-cost-of-divorce","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"KL7265eTLv\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-legal-cost-of-divorce\/\">The Legal Cost of Divorce<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-legal-cost-of-divorce\/embed\/#?secret=KL7265eTLv\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Legal Cost of Divorce&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"KL7265eTLv\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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divorce.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-07-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Too many Christians today who find themselves in a difficult place in their marriage head off in the wrong direction.\u00a0 Here is Steve Grissom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0If your marriage is in trouble, you don't go to a lawyer, you go to your church.\u00a0 And if your spouse is not an agreeable party to that process, we have clear guidelines in Matthew 18 in how to do it.\u00a0 You first confront them individually.\u00a0 If that person doesn't respond, then the next step is to go with one or two other Christians and confront again in love with the idea of restoring and reconciliation.\u00a0 If the person doesn't respond at that point, then you are to take to the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, July 11th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What can you do to help a friend who may be headed for a divorce?\u00a0 We'll talk about it today, stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 We are focused this week right at the heart of a very difficult issue.\u00a0 It's really an issue that is at the center of what FamilyLife is all about.\u00a0 In fact, this month we are encouraging FamilyLife Today listeners to sign up for one of our upcoming FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences.\u00a0 We're going to be hosting these in a variety of cities this fall all across the country, and if you sign up this month, we are offering FamilyLife Today listeners a special rate.\u00a0 You can sign up at the group rate even though you're not a part of a group.\u00a0 You will save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee if you sign up between now and the end of July.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is a complete schedule of our conferences on our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can find the city where each conference is going to be located and the weekend that we're going to be holding it there, and what we're hoping you'll do is block that weekend out, get away together as a couple, and focus on how to build a stronger, healthier marriage \u2013 whether your marriage is in a good place already or whether you're in a difficult spot, and you need some hope.\u00a0 The FamilyLife Today Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference is designed to give you the practical tools that you can put to work in your marriage, keep it headed in the right direction and, again, between now and the end of the month you can take advantage of a special offer that we're making to FamilyLife Today listeners.\u00a0 You can register at the group rate and save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0For more information or to register online go to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 If you are registering online, when you fill out the form you'll come to a keycode box.\u00a0 You'll want to type my name in there, it's \"Bob,\" and that way we'll know you're a FamilyLife Today listener, and that you're eligible for the special rate for listeners.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, mention that you're a FamilyLife Today listener and, again, you'll save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee if you register between now and the end of July.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, call us or go online if you have any questions or to get registered for an upcoming Weekend to Remember conference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, Dennis, the Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference is designed to encourage couples to honor their commitment, the covenant, to one another, and that's at the heart of what we're talking about this week, and it may be that a person listening is not in this kind of a situation but, undoubtedly, you know somebody in your church or your neighborhood, where you work, somebody who is in a difficult spot in his or her marriage, and someone who is in need of some hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right, and we want to help you rescue marriages from divorce.\u00a0 A lot of folks don't feel comfortable or equipped knowing what to say and how to go about preventing a divorce from occurring in the life of a loved one who is a family member, maybe an associate at work, maybe it's somebody in your Sunday school class.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, just last night I was talking to a layman who said, you know, \"I'm covered over with this ministry, but I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do.\"\u00a0 Well, we've got the guy who can help you.\u00a0 In fact, he's got a whole resource kit to equip you in rescuing those marriages \u2013 Steve Grissom.\u00a0 Steve, welcome back to FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Thank you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Steve is the president of Church Initiative, which is a ministry that really specializes on rescuing marriages from divorce and helping people heal up after they've gone through a divorce in the church, isn't that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0That's correct, and we would love to shut down the divorce recovery part of our efforts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Steve is a father of three.\u00a0 He is a former television announcer, anchorman.\u00a0 In fact, this video package you put together came out of your experience in television, isn't that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0That's correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Steve, you went through a divorce.\u00a0 This is what really tenderized your heart.\u00a0 It was through the pain that you experienced that God enlarged your own vision to be able to reach out and help laymen rescue marriages from divorce.\u00a0 Where does a layman start?\u00a0 How does he begin in this process of rescuing a friend who is thinking about divorce?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Maybe a good place to start is to understand the dynamics of what's happening.\u00a0 If you know about a friend or a neighbor or family member that is toying with or in the process of divorce, you've got to understand that the train is almost out of control right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, it would seem to me that your response in that situation might be different if you're dealing with the person who is initiating the divorce than it would be if you're dealing with the person who just got a bomb dropped on them last night that their husband or wife is planning to leave the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0You've got to be sensitive to the dynamics of that.\u00a0 You've also got to be aware now, in society today, it's become very acceptable to get a divorce because we just don't love each other anymore, and it's a mutual decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Typically, though, there is one person driving and one person who does not want the divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You say in your series that people have two choices \u2013 explain those choices to our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Well, in the end, you've got either the choice of anger or the choice of reconciliation.\u00a0 You've got the choice of divorce or the choice of God's ideal, which is restoring your marriage.\u00a0 There are no other choices.\u00a0 You either forgive each other for the wrongs you've done and rebuild your marriage, or you proceed down the path of disillusion, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And you begin your series by letting that couple who are thinking about divorce know that they have these choices.\u00a0 Why do you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Well, it is true that we all have choices in life and, in some cases, divorce is an allowable choice scripturally and maybe even an appropriate choice scripturally.\u00a0 So it is a decision that each person faces themselves and, in some cases, in many cases, in fact, in most cases, it's a sinful decision but not always.\u00a0 We've got to remember that, and we've got to talk to the person who is looking at divorce as an option because they have a habitually unfaithful spouse.\u00a0 Scripture tells us that's an allowable reason for divorce \u2013 not a requirement for divorce, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, and that's something I'd want to say right here \u2013 I don't think God's first choice in any situation is for divorce.\u00a0 His desire is for a couple to reconcile, forgive one another, work through their pain, and come back and become one.\u00a0 The problem is, we are broken people, and it is clear in Scripture that there are situations where there is the freedom to go ahead and get a divorce \u2013 again, not God's first choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And, generally, the two situations that the Scriptures deal with that grant permission for divorce are an adulteress or an unfaithful husband or wife, and an unbelieving spouse who has abandoned a believing spouse.\u00a0 Those are pretty much the two grounds on which someone would be allowed divorce but, as you've said, Dennis, it's not necessarily God's best choice for that couple at that time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And, Steve, what I hear you saying when you're equipping this layman to talk to his friends who are thinking about a divorce that why it's so important to give this freedom of choice is that we, as counselors; we, as advisors; we, as someone who is coming alongside another person have to be careful not to try to control them, judge them, condemn them, but instead try to call them out of sinful choices, call them away from the wrong path but let them know that they are responsible for making their own choices before God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0The other challenge we have as laypeople in helping is not to force our own agenda.\u00a0 If I'm a mother or a father, and I see my daughter being mistreated by her husband, I may encourage her to get rid of the bum.\u00a0 In the end, it can't be my choice, meaning an advisor, a friend, a family member.\u00a0 It can't be society's choice, it can't be the church's choice, it's got to be that individual's choice, and another big influencer is the attorney, because once you connect with an attorney, it's almost on remote control at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Steve, I can hear someone saying right now \u2013 in fact, I've heard it said to me on more than one occasion \u2013 you know, \"This just isn't any of my business.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Well, we're encouraged in Scripture to confront in love; we are encouraged to put our arms around \u2013 you know, Scripture talks about older women teaching younger women, so we need to be involved.\u00a0 And if we don't get involved, we may well feel the ripple effect of that divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, Dennis, Steve brought up this point, and that is that there are plenty of people around a divorcing couple who are kind of cheering them on, who are saying, \"You know, I think this probably is best for you.\u00a0 You probably ought to go ahead.\u00a0 This will be better.\u00a0 It will all work out.\"\u00a0 It takes a little courage for someone to step forward and say, \"I'm not sure that's good advice.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, and there's a couple of points I want to make here, Bob.\u00a0 First of all, unfortunately, many of those people who are advising Christians to get divorced are Christians.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, and you know what?\u00a0 People ought to cut it out.\u00a0 They ought to stop advising their friends to get a divorce.\u00a0 That's not the first line of offense or defense when it comes to talking to somebody here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0The problem today in the Christian community is we are no longer our brother's keeper, we no longer want to look out for each other, we no longer want to dirty ourselves by getting involved in these deals, and they extract a price.\u00a0 We don't want to make the investment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If it's not done by the body of Christ in the church, who is going to do it?\u00a0 And the answer is there isn't anybody else to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0We are called to a ministry of reconciliation, and that includes a ministry of reconciliation to marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Steve, you mentioned that once an attorney is in the picture, this thing has moved into inertia \u2013 remote control.\u00a0 It's almost unstoppable at that point.\u00a0 Why is that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Society has set up a process.\u00a0 You get in a spat with your spouse, you decide probably you want out of the marriage.\u00a0 The first thing you do, you go see a lawyer, and what is the first thing the lawyer does?\u00a0 He says, \"Stop communicating with your spouse.\u00a0 We don't want to compromise your situation.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0So he goes right into protecting yourself \u2013 assuming a divorce is going to happen, right, and, of course, he's got some financial incentive, doesn't he, for this thing to move ahead?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Yes, he does.\u00a0 And the irony is we call them \"family lawyers,\" and the practice of family law is actually divorce law.\u00a0 There are exceptions, and we want to thank those attorneys who are godly and try to restore marriages, and I know of some.\u00a0 But, in most cases, they started on a process that's almost unstoppable, and here is what happens \u2013 first of all, you pay them a big retainer, and then they begin the process.\u00a0 They will tell you, depending on the laws in your state, you need to get a separation agreement, which divides the assets of your family, decides who will own the children, if you will, and all of the other issues related to divorce \u2013 is there alimony?\u00a0 And, by the way, alimony is a disappearing concept.\u00a0 That is a gut-wrenching experience to go through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0How big is a big retainer?\u00a0 How much are you going to give to an attorney?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0You can pay anywhere from hundreds of dollars to there are million-dollar divorces.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0The stuff that I see in the paper that says, \"$59 \u2013 Quick, Easy Divorce.\"\u00a0 What happens if I call that number?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0It's a lie.\u00a0 There is no quick, easy divorce.\u00a0 You will spend much of your personal savings and assets in getting through the legal process of divorce.\u00a0 And I hear couples say, \"Well, we're going to be friendly about it.\"\u00a0 There is no friendly divorce.\u00a0 Warren Kniskern is an author.\u00a0 He says divorce is war \u2013 he is correct.\u00a0 What do you have in a war?\u00a0 You have warriors, in this case, the husband and wife.\u00a0 You have spoils \u2013 in this case, who gets the kids, who gets the money, who gets the house?\u00a0 And if you can agree to that in a separation agreement, then that becomes the automatic framework for the divorce, and if you've never been to a divorce court, you ought to spend a day in there before you go through the process just to get a taste of what you're getting into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I want to stop you there because I want you to take us back through kind of what takes place at that point, because I think many of our listeners are unaware what is taking place legally as they are separated.\u00a0 But before I have you do that, I want to make a comment about selecting a lawyer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Psalm 1:1 says \"Blessed is he who walks in the counsel of the godly.\"\u00a0 And if my friend was seeking legal separation or they were involved in some kind of situation that could move toward divorce, I would want my friend to find a lawyer who is a Psalm 1:1 man or woman \u2013 a godly counselor who I would expect to have God's interest in mind above his own interest and who would speak the truth to this woman or this man when the going got tough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, it would seem to me to be, at that point, that the Christian woman, the Christian man, who is facing a divorce or thinking about a divorce ought not to just go to the Yellow Pages by really ought to go to their church, to their elder board, and ask them to help them find wise godly counsel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If two people would do that, at that point I've got to believe that marriage has a chance of surviving.\u00a0 If there is not godly counsel in place, though, you have an adversary of that marriage \u2013 someone who is wanting to make a living off of the demise of that marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0See, the world's advice is to go find a piranha \u2013 somebody who is mean, tough, and aggressive and to get all you can for you.\u00a0 But, Dennis, you hit, really, on what should be the next step.\u00a0 If your marriage is in trouble, you don't go to a lawyer, you go to your church.\u00a0 And if your spouse is not an agreeable party to that process, we have clear guidelines in Matthew 18 in how to do it.\u00a0 There are some great exceptions, but many churches do not follow the Matthew 18 guidelines, which, simplified are this \u2013 if somebody has sinned or done wrong against you, you first confront them individually.\u00a0 Well, let's assume that would happen in a marriage situation.\u00a0 If that person doesn't respond, then the next step is to go with one or two other Christians and confront again, in love, with the idea of restoring and reconciliation.\u00a0 If the person doesn't respond at that point, then you are to take it to the church, and here is the sticking point is what does the church do at this point, because it sometimes is a process called \"church discipline\" where you actually have to confront formally, as the body of Christ, that person, accuse them of the sin.\u00a0 If they are a member of that church the ultimate responsibility is to remove them from their church, not with the idea of castigating them but \u2013 or ostracizing them \u2013 but of restoring them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Love them enough to break fellowship with them so that they might come to their sense if they haven't heard the words that you've said to them when you've lovingly confronted them with the truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0Now, a challenge to the church, too, is that they can't wait until this flares up to have a process in place to deal on the Matthew 18 track.\u00a0 You've got to have that ready and be able to respond quickly, because, again, the train is out of control by this point, and if the church isn't equipped to jump into action immediately, then it needs to create a process to do so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And then the challenge, Dennis, to folks who are in a difficult marriage, if they are experiencing tension and pressure and frustration in their marriage, don't wait until the train is so far down the track that it's moving on its own force before you cry help.\u00a0 Back it up when it's at the station, call a friend today and say, \"Can I talk to you?\u00a0 We're going through some bumps, and maybe they're just little things, but I don't want them to be big things.\"\u00a0 It's time to be open with one another about the little things that spin out of control and lead toward divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There's too many great resources to help couples today who are experiencing difficulty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Steve, you were telling us about one church that is very shrewdly using the \"Before You Divorce\" videotapes just in a general Sunday school class.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0The idea of being \u2013 the pastor told me, he says, \"We genuinely have an interest in helping people who are in marriage crisis, and we want to equip our congregation to know how to react.\u00a0 So we show the tapes in adult Sunday school classes with the idea of equipping them to help in crisis.\"\u00a0 But we also know that there is some percentage of couples that are in a crisis that we don't know about, and we can get to them earlier by doing that.\u00a0 So it serves a dual purpose and maybe catches the train, at least as it's leaving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, that is such a shrewd strategy for a church to step in and say, \"Here, let's watch these videos because you may know somebody.\u00a0 We know that you may be somebody, and we just don't know who you are, and watching the videos can help wake you up to the reality of what you may be facing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Bob, this happens at our FamilyLife Marriage Conferences all the time.\u00a0 We have couples who come to our conference, and I don't think they realize that the train is leaving the station for a divorce.\u00a0 They are in trouble, but they don't know it.\u00a0 They're isolated, but they're numbed over by their activity, and they don't realize that they've lost the intimacy that they've gotten married to experience.\u00a0 And at the conference they're confronted with the truth, they're brought face-to-face with one another in projects where they express love to one another, and I think, in some cases, our conference is used mightily by God to back that train back up to the station and give some folks some help when they can receive it before the communication lines go down, and the emotions go up, and the anger starts getting expressed, and the adversarial relationship gets a established and is being fed by a couple of lawyers who aren't really interested in helping this couple keep their marriage covenant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve:\u00a0In fact, these two lawyers, these people who you think are on your side and defending you, which, in some respects they are but will probably play golf together on Saturday and are family friends and may go to dinner that evening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, as you were talking, I just thought we've been kind of hard on a certain profession here on the broadcast today, and I just want to recognize the fact that there are a number of very fine Christian attorneys involved in the church that are committed to the Scripture and to doing what's right.\u00a0 That's not who I'm talking about.\u00a0 I don't want you to write me, ticked off at me.\u00a0 You don't need to write me if you're doing what's right, because we're not coming after you at all, but I'm going to tell you something, there are a number of those who aren't committed to doing what's right \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 there are some snakes in the grass?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's exactly right and you know what?\u00a0 That's true of every profession including our own, Bob, and I just want to encourage the Christian attorneys who are standing strong to keep standing and stand firm, and those who aren't \u2013 check your motive.\u00a0 Ask the question, \"Who is your God and why are you doing what you're doing?\"\u00a0 Because there is a judgment that is going to occur, and I would hate to be a compromised attorney; I'd hate to be a compromised preacher; I'd hate to be a compromised movie owner, are you with me?\u00a0 I mean, the Scripture is clear.\u00a0 You will be held accountable for your actions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And you know what would be great is if the Christian attorneys who are listening to us or someone who knows a Christian attorney would get the DVD series that we've been talking about this week, \"Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce,\" and anyone who came to the office and said, \"Would you represent me in a divorce proceeding?\"\u00a0 The attorney would say, \"If you will watch these DVDs then I'll represent you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I agree with Steve \u2013 there are some folks who are victims in a divorce proceeding, and we're not trying to beat up on anybody, but those who would initiate, those would say, \"This is the best thing for my marriage,\" I just think it would be good for them to watch this DVD series and weigh that out.\u00a0 It could be that an attorney who would put these DVDs in the hands of a prospective client would be a messenger of God to bring a little reality to the situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We've go the entire DVD series in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and whether it's a church or an attorney or just a friend who wants to put them in the hands of another friend who is considering divorce, these DVDs lay out the facts and help folks understand the real financial, emotional, legal realities of divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can get more information about the DVD series, \"Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce,\" by going to our website at FamilyLife.com, click the button in the middle of the screen that says \"Go,\" and that will take you right to a page where there is, again, more information about this DVD series.\u00a0 There is also information on our website about the upcoming fall season of our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference, and it may be that you want to pass along information to someone you know who is in a difficult spot in their marriage, pass on the information about when a Weekend to Remember conference is coming to a city near where you live and, once again, if folks register this month for that conference, FamilyLife Today listeners will save $60 per couple off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 That's the group rate that we're making available to our listeners this month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information about the upcoming fall season of conferences on our website at FamilyLife.com, and if you register online, as you fill out the form, when you get the keycode box, just type in my name.\u00a0 Just type in \"Bob,\" and that way we know that you're a FamilyLife Today listener, you want the Bob special rate, and we'll get you registered at a $60-per-couple savings off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY and let someone on our team know that you're a FamilyLife Today listener, and you'd like to register for an upcoming conference, and we'll get you taken care of.\u00a0 Again, the special rate is available during the month of July so call today or go online at FamilyLife.com and get registered for one of these upcoming conferences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we're going to continue our conversation with Steve Grissom.\u00a0 We'll be talking about the things that couples need to be thinking through and things that individuals need to consider before they make the life and family-altering decision to end a marriage relationship.\u00a0 If you know somebody who ought to be tuned in tomorrow, call them today and invite them to tune in and listen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t________________________________________________________________\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/www.FamilyLife.com\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301150"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301150"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301150"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301150"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}