{"id":301109,"date":"2006-05-11T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-05-11T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-mothers-plan\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:42:19","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:42:19","slug":"a-mothers-plan","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-mothers-plan\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother&#8217;s Plan"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Donna Otto encourages moms to be intentional in creating the home they&#8217;ve always dreamed of.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-05-11.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.35M","filesize_raw":"11902064","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[4500,4087,2209],"podcast_series":[7450],"cwp_profile":[9009],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301109","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-moms","tag-mothers","tag-parenting","podcast_series-finding-your-purpose-as-a-mom","cwp_profile-donna-otto","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301109\/a-mothers-plan","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301109\/a-mothers-plan","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vLAUcn5v61\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-mothers-plan\/\">A Mother&#8217;s Plan<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-mothers-plan\/embed\/#?secret=vLAUcn5v61\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Mother&#8217;s Plan&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"vLAUcn5v61\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Donna Otto encourages moms to be intentional in creating the home they've always dreamed of.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-05-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You want a home that reflects peacefulness, tranquility, but you think to yourself with toddlers or with teenagers or with a job or with all that we've got going on around here, that's just not going to happen?\u00a0 We asked author and speaker, Donna Otto, how she would mentor a young mom who wanted to make her home a peaceful home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0I would say to her what I say to every young woman \u2013 I say to myself, \"It starts with me.\u00a0 What is your peace, honey?\"\u00a0 What are you doing, how are you interfacing with Jesus Christ, your Savior, and if you are peaceful in yourself you cannot help but radiate that, and when the chips are down, it is Christ coming through you, and that's going to make that home holy ground and peaceful ground.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, May 11th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 As a mom, you often adjust the emotional thermostat in your home.\u00a0 We'll talk today about how to put the setting on \"peaceful.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Does your wife, Barbara, still like to read that Victorian magazine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0The one that's got all the pretty pictures of the homes and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We have several years stacked up outside our bedroom.\u00a0 You know, the most expensive magazines in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I've never forgotten asking your children what kinds of things \u2013 this was back when they were little.\u00a0 I asked the kids what do Mom and Dad like for Christmas?\u00a0 Or what does Dad get Mom for Christmas?\u00a0 And one of your kids was saying, \"Dad likes to get Mom a magazine.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"What magazine?\"\u00a0 And they were trying to say \"Victorian,\" and they said \"Victoria's Secret\" instead.\u00a0 So I bet Dad likes to get the magazine for mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, you look at those magazines sometimes, whether it's \"Southern Living,\" or \"Victorian,\" or out where you live, it's \"Sunsets,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Very good!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0They show all these pictures of these homes, and you look at them, and you go, \"Why can't my house look like that?\"\u00a0 Isn't that what \u2013 doesn't Barbara feel that way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, yeah, \"Better Homes and Gardens\" for years, you know, every leaf is in place, just like we all lived that way, right?\u00a0 No way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0That laugh you just heard was from Donna Otto who lives in Arizona.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Where you get \"Sunsets\" magazine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There you go, and it is a great magazine if you've never seen it.\u00a0 Donna is the founder of Homemakers by Choice and the author of a new book called \"Finding Your Purpose as Mom.\"\u00a0 And, Donna, you do a lot of work with moms, and you're out there cheering them on.\u00a0 You're hearing that moms today not only need purpose, but they need a plan to go with that purpose.\u00a0 Where did they begin as they think about shaping a practical plan for their role as mothers?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0As you asked that question, my mind is going, \"Oh, how many bunny trails do I have opportunity for?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Let's chase a few and see what we get.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Chase a few and see how long I've got.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0This one has a lot of bunnies on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Well, you know, I wrote those stay-at-home mom books about 15 years ago, and I have been saying \u2013 the book was called \"The Stay-at-Home Mom,\" and I've been saying the difference between a stay-at-home and a mall mom or a book mom or a TV mom or a Bible study mom is a mom who takes this plan of building a home seriously, because you can leave work, and I'll go so far as to say this \u2013 if I were a man \u2013 and I'm not \u2013 but I was working full time so that my wife could be at home managing our home and raising our children, and the statistics are staggering as to the career advancement for a man who has a wife who is at home, managing her home and helping raise the children.\u00a0 His career is launched and determined to go much further than the woman who works full time, et cetera, et cetera.\u00a0 But if I were that husband \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Barbara would agree with that, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Yes, yes, if I were her husband, and I came home to a mess, and I came home to finding out that she'd been to three Bible studies this week and, you know, there wasn't much Bible living going on in my house, I would be the first one to say to her, \"Go get a job, honey.\u00a0 Just go get a job, we'll get someone else to take care of the children.\u00a0 We'll hire a housekeeper, and things will be a little better than they are with you being a stay-at-home mom and not taking it seriously.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So I feel so strongly about that because, as I said earlier, these women are singularly the most educated that have ever walked the face of the earth.\u00a0 They have skill sets.\u00a0 It's not like they have to be at home because there is nothing else they can do.\u00a0 That's not true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So I want to encourage them to apply what they have learned in their education, in their careers and their work environments to home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Okay, but a lot of the young women who are listening to you right now go, \"Okay, thanks for putting me under the pile, because my home is a mess.\u00a0 I do want to be purposeful and intentional, but I don't have the plan to do it.\u00a0 So help me here.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Okay, well, I'm going to give you a plan, but I'm also going to say these things do not happen overnight.\u00a0 I was a woman who wrote on organization, the woman who hid her dirty dishes in the clothes dryer, okay, so I don't want anyone to get \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Did you really do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Oh, I lived in Chicago.\u00a0 We had mice.\u00a0 If you put them under the sink, the mice found them.\u00a0 If you put them in the oven, you preheated the oven, and you broke them.\u00a0 If you put them in the bathtub, you had to carry them.\u00a0 The clothes dryer was the safest place in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0How long would you leave them in there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Well, until I needed the clothes dryer, and then I would open them up and have to take them out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Move them to the sink.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Listen, if there is hope for me, there is hope for anyone.\u00a0 I went to a meeting \u2013 this is 30-plus years ago.\u00a0 I was invited to a business opportunity meeting.\u00a0 I was very young, and \u2013 it was a little over 30 years ago \u2013 and I got there, and there was a man having a demonstration, and in front of him he had a long utilitarian eight-foot table piled high with photographs, pictures from magazines, and they were categorized \u2013 accessories, boats, minks \u2013 fur coats, jewelry, homes, art \u2013 okay, it was categorized, and he said to everyone that came in the room, \"Go up to the front table and just select some pictures from each of the piles and bring them back to your chair.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, I was young, and I loved all these things \u2013 diamonds, hello.\u00a0 So I picked up a few things from every pile.\u00a0 I got back on my chair, was a poster and some scotch tape.\u00a0 The next instructions were to take the pictures, cut them out, put them on the poster.\u00a0 I did that, I was very happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then he gave a presentation, and his presentation was if what you have put on this poster matters to you, put it on your refrigerator and come along with me in this business plan, and if you see in front of you every day on the refrigerator what you're longing for, you will be motivated to get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, while that had a very superficial effect on me, and I did not do anything with that business \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you didn't put it on your fridge?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0I didn't put it on my fridge, I didn't join his company, but God used it in my life because I literally drew a house with four walls.\u00a0 You know, two sides, a little door, a little chimney, and in the book I provide that.\u00a0 And if I were a technological person, and I'm really not, it would be inside your screen and along with the screen would be all sorts of icons.\u00a0 And those icons you're going to choose from to decide what does your house want to look like?\u00a0 What do you want your home to look like today 30 years from now?\u00a0 Because that's the only real way to be intentional about building a home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, the Scripture already tells us what we want these children to grow up to be.\u00a0 How do I get them to do that?\u00a0 But, not only that, what do we want this home to look like?\u00a0 And I use the thermostat\/thermometer principle, and that is we are all thermometers.\u00a0 I walk into a room, and I register what's going on \u2013 it's hot, it's angry, it's cold, it's peaceful, they're having fun, it's a celebration.\u00a0 Anybody pretty much can do that if you breathe \u2013 can fog a mirror.\u00a0 I'm saying to women don't be a thermometer, be a thermostat.\u00a0 You go to the wall in your home and say, \"I have the authority of God I want this home to be.\"\u00a0 Is it fun?\u00a0 Is it peaceful?\u00a0 Is it authentic?\u00a0 Is it full of grace?\u00a0 Is it full of celebrations \u2013 celebrations take time and energy.\u00a0 I grew up in a barren environment.\u00a0 So barren, and I'm not of a generation that just severe dysfunctional homes were talked about, but I come from one of those homes, and 30-plus years ago when I made that picture of a house, one of the things I wanted inside our home was celebrations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wanted to be intentional about celebrations, and any woman who is listening who has ever planned a celebration, it's a birthday party or a Christmas dinner, it takes a lot of work to be intentional about a healthy celebration in your home.\u00a0 But 35 years later, you know, my husband and I have this wonderful record of celebrations that have been hosted in our home, and we still pull away when there are people in our home, and we find a little quiet place, the two of us.\u00a0 He puts his arms around me, and we are both moved with pleasure at what God has allowed us to do \u2013 to hear people laughing and talking in our home.\u00a0 But that was a plan that I laid, that David and I agreed on \u2013 we wanted our home to look like now, 30-plus years ago.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So what is that?\u00a0 And it does take some time, but when we talk about laying a plan, we think all this stuff, because we live in the 21st century, happens overnight.\u00a0 It does not.\u00a0 You're laying a plan that's going to last for three decades.\u00a0 So don't get all uptight if tomorrow the children have not settled in and there is peacefulness everywhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You're talking about establishing family values, establishing what's important in your home.\u00a0 I'm thinking about the weekend you and Barbara took where early in your marriage you hammered out what was going to be important for your home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Right.\u00a0 We both hammered out 10 values that were biblical values, and what I was thinking about as, Donna, you were sharing, this is where the Bible, the Scriptures, become a compass.\u00a0 They point us to where the North Pole is, to where success and marriages and families are going to occur.\u00a0 And, for us, those 10 values that both of us separately hammered out all came from the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0There were the typical ones of loving God, loving others, but there were others called the work ethic, integrity, other issues related to helping people and having a compassionate reach to the world.\u00a0 Those values all came from the Scripture, and, Bob, I was thinking how Barbara and I took those 20 values that we came up, those lists, and how they were prioritized, and then we hammered out a mutual list of five that we prioritized.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Excellent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That was tough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Did you put it on the refrigerator?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, we didn't.\u00a0 In 1990, though \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0They didn't have a refrigerator [laughing].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0In 1990 we had an extended vacation with our kids, and we took our kids into that value experience, and it was a lot like you talked about.\u00a0 And what we did, we didn't create a house \u2013 but I like your idea of creating a house that fits on the fridge, and then filling that house with the values that you'd like to have.\u00a0 But we didn't fill a poster and put it on the fridge.\u00a0 We did fill a poster with values that our kids contributed to, and we talked about that.\u00a0 And it was interesting, last summer, one year ago, we reprinted what was on that poster that we had done 15 years earlier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And we gave the kids a list of those values and just looked down, and we'd failed on some, succeeded on others and partially succeeded on others.\u00a0 We didn't do it perfectly, but the point is we were shooting for something, and I think, importantly, we weren't shooting for the diamonds, the minks, the fancy vacations, the fancy car, fancy house, et cetera, et cetera.\u00a0 It was all about God's agenda and what He was up to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0One of the things that you had on your house poster was peace.\u00a0 You wanted peace in your home.\u00a0 Why was that such a big deal for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Well, because I came from chaos \u2013 just chaos.\u00a0 There was never a calm moment in my home, growing up.\u00a0 There was \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, now, what kind of chaos are you speaking of?\u00a0 Are you talking about internal conflict?\u00a0 Were people at each other, yelling?\u00a0 Angry?\u00a0 Or just \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Or just activity \u2013 which was it \u2013 was it just really busy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, it was just an Italian family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0I resent that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Actually, my father, who was Italian, did not know I was born until I was three years old.\u00a0 My \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 excuse me?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0They conceived me, but my mother did not know what she was doing, and then my grandparents moved her, pregnant, to California.\u00a0 My mother got this plan that she was going to get on the train and go back to Chicago and find my Italian stallion father and surprise him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Now, they were married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0No, not married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, they were not married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0They were not married at all.\u00a0 And so there she was, she was 14 years old, and when they got back to Chicago, and she got to Chicago off the train, which put her into labor.\u00a0 She went to the hospital, and her girlfriend, she called her girlfriend, and she said, \"Call Michael and tell him that our daughter\"\u00a0 \u2013 and her girlfriend said, \"Michael has a new girlfriend.\"\u00a0 We're not surprised about that, are we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so three years later my father found out that I was born.\u00a0 He got in his hot, fast, red car and went to California, swept my mother off her feet.\u00a0 Again, she was a beautiful Persian woman \u2013 girl \u2013 and they got married and lived very unhappily for 11 or 12 years.\u00a0 Now, when you talk about chaos, I am talking about internal conflicts for each of them.\u00a0 Yelling, screaming, physical, verbal \u2013 any kind of abuse you could just imagine went on in a home.\u00a0 So I grew up in chaos.\u00a0 I didn't know what peace was until I found the peace of Christ, and then I discovered, as a woman, as a wife and a mother, there were two kinds of peace people.\u00a0 One was a peacekeeper.\u00a0 \"Everybody's happy here, aren't they?\u00a0 I said so.\u00a0 It's quiet here.\u00a0 That's happiness, isn't it?\"\u00a0 Peacekeepers.\u00a0 They just kept everything looking \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0They deny reality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Yes, the psychologists call it \"image management,\" and they did that very well.\u00a0 I didn't want to be that.\u00a0 I wanted to be what I thought Christ was, which was a peacemaker, a peacemaker.\u00a0 And it just comes to my mind, but the Old Testament Book of Nehemiah that talks about the building of the wall in the city of Jerusalem.\u00a0 There's a place when they're building the wall, they're building, the family, they're building the wall, they fought for it.\u00a0 With one hand they're building the wall, and the other hand, they're holding onto their sword.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I think in the 21st century, families have to do that.\u00a0 We have to fight for it.\u00a0 And so you've got to be a peacemaker who says \"This is the right way.\u00a0 We're going to walk in it.\"\u00a0 I don't care how many people are doing it, right is always right.\u00a0 I don't care if a few people are doing it, wrong is always wrong.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know, there are a lot of women listening who \u2013 they may not have had the same circumstances you had as a child, but they grew up in the same kind of a home where there was internal conflict, where there was tension, where there was fighting, where there was a lack of peace.\u00a0 And they're thinking, \"That's not what I want in my home, but I don't know how to get from the desire to the reality.\u00a0 What do I do to make my home a place of peace?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Well, Dennis said it, and you guys provide all sorts of resources and tools.\u00a0 I am a tool buff.\u00a0 If you don't know how to do it, there's a tool and a resource, and one of the wonderful things about the 21st century is anybody can get them.\u00a0 You can find tools in your local churches, you can find tools in local organizations, you can get on the Web, you can get \u2013 you can find tools \u2013 not only free tools but tools that are inexpensive that will help you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I really encourage women not only to get the tools but to be very \u2013 don't just go grabbing off the shelf and say, \"This is it.\u00a0 Okay, I'll buy this, this, and this, and I'll read this and this.\"\u00a0 Be very careful.\u00a0 You can always be too casual, but you can never be too careful.\u00a0 So when you're selecting tools, seek the counsel of others.\u00a0 Is that a good organization?\u00a0 Is that a good author?\u00a0 The counsel from the Bible is always good counsel, and don't be afraid to read the Bible for yourself and understand it.\u00a0 So get tools, get resources, and then, you know, I've really encouraged in everything I've written about mentoring and about staying at home, and in this book I encourage it again.\u00a0 Get a sister, get a sister.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0A cheerleader.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0A sister, a cheerleader, a sister who is walking through life with you, who, on certain days wants to get in the playpen and send the child out.\u00a0 I mean, that's just real life.\u00a0 A mentor is different.\u00a0 I encourage girls to have a mentor, too, but get a sister who understands the authentic life you're living.\u00a0 Sleep deprivation is a real fact of a young mom's life, and that passage in Timothy about Onesipherous \u2013 he says he refreshed him.\u00a0 You know, at my age, refreshment looks very different than a young mom who is sleep-deprived.\u00a0 Refreshment looks like, to her, come alongside me, sister, and bring me a meal, wash my toilet this afternoon, and next week when you're sleep-deprived, I'll do the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0So one of the tools I recommend is get a sister who understands so you don't feel isolated, and you're walking through this motherhood alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0If your daughter called you and said, \"Sister, Mom, I want to make sure my home is a peaceful home,\" where would you point her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0I would say to her what I say to every young woman.\u00a0 I say it to myself \u2013 \"It starts with me.\u00a0 Where is your peace, honey?\u00a0 What are you doing, how are you interfacing with Jesus Christ your Savior?\"\u00a0 And if you are peaceful in yourself you cannot help but radiate that, and when the chips are down, it is Christ coming through you that's going to make that home holy ground and peaceful ground.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Once again, Mom is the one setting the thermostat in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna:\u00a0Not the thermometer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I think if my daughter asked me, I'd take her to Ephesians, chapter 4, and I'd say, \"Do a little study in the last half of that chapter about how Paul instructed in terms of relationships.\"\u00a0 Because where does peace occur?\u00a0 It occurs between people, and so the first place it occurs is, oh, about verse 23.\u00a0 It talks about being renewed in the spirit of your mind \u2013 not walking as you used to walk \u2013 in a darkened mind \u2013 but getting in the Scriptures and beginning to think about life as God thinks about it, and as He teaches in the Scripture.\u00a0 He talks about speaking the truth, you know, laying aside falsehood.\u00a0 There will be a lot of peace in your home if you avoid lying; if you avoid accusations, but you speak the truth in love to one another.\u00a0 Be angry and yet do not sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When you do get angry, confess it.\u00a0 I was on a phone call the other day with a young man, and I got angry and overstated the case, and said, \"That was wrong.\u00a0 Forgive me.\"\u00a0 Well, there's a chance for peace to reside there.\u00a0 Go through here, it talks about character \u2013 have godly character.\u00a0 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, so you're respectful of one another.\u00a0 That's a great way to contribute to peace in the family and also a great way to destroy peace.\u00a0 If you're disrespectful to your spouse, speak disrespectfully to your children, it's like picking up an ice pick and just chipping away at the image of God in them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then the last part of the chapter, verse 31, \"Let all bitterness and wrath an anger and clamor and slander be put away along with all malice.\"\u00a0 And then it just closes simply, \"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God, in Christ, has also forgiven you.\"\u00a0 You know, if you could just live by the last verse in a family \u2013 that would create a lot of peace.\u00a0 Being kind to one another, tenderhearted to one another, forgiving one another \u2013 that's a great assignment, and that's what contributes to great peace in the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And, really, what you're saying here is that it takes intentionality.\u00a0 You have to be purposeful, you have to decide in advance that this is going to be a priority, and you're going to invest here, you're going to take time for it.\u00a0 Again, it's back to that word being intentional about your assignment as a wife and as a mom, as a homemaker, and I think there are a lot of moms today who have a desire to make motherhood and homemaking a priority, but they need some help to know what that looks like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd to those moms, we want to recommend the book that our guest, Donna Otto, has written called \"Finding Your Purpose as a Mom, How to Build Your Home on Holy Ground.\" We have the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center, and you can go to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 In the middle of the screen there's a button that says \"Go.\"\u00a0 If you click that button, it will take you right to a page where you can get more information about Donna's book and about other resources that are available from us here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, we've got copies of another book that you've written called \"Secrets to Getting More Done in Less Time,\" which is a very practical book for moms on how to take care of the business of homemaking so there is time left for the relationships that need to be the priority in your family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0If you're interested in getting both of these books, we'll send along at no additional cost the CD audio for our conversation with Donna Otto, and you may want to pass that along to a friend who would benefit from hearing the interview.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, the website, FamilyLife.com, or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we'll let you know how you can get these books sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, we have some friends here at FamilyLife who contacted us not long ago.\u00a0 These are folks who are really committed to what God is doing through our ministry, about how God is using the radio program and our website and our conferences and events and all that we do across the country, and they're really excited about how God is using the ministry to transform people's lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They contacted us and said, \"We would like to make a donation to FamilyLife, but we want to do it in such a way that we encourage other people to join with us and make donations as well.\u00a0 So they agreed that they would donate up to $350,000 during the month of May, but they put this condition on their donation \u2013 they said, \"We will do it as a matching gift.\u00a0 Every time one of your listeners makes a donation of $50,\" for example, they agreed that they would donate $50, and they would do that all the way up to the total of $350,000.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, we are hoping we'll be able to take full advantage of their generosity but in order to do that, we need as many of our listeners as possible during the month of May to do whatever you can do \u2013 make a $20 donation or a $50 donation, $100 donation, whatever works out for your family.\u00a0 You can donate online at FamilyLife.com or you can call and make your donation over the phone at 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we do hope to hear from you, and we appreciate your financial support, particularly during this strategic time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, tomorrow we want to talk about the pace of life and what a mom can do to find some quiet and some rest in the midst of a busy schedule.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t__________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/www.FamilyLife.com\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 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