{"id":301060,"date":"2006-02-16T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-02-16T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-fame-and-popularity-affect-a-marriag\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:42:15","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:42:15","slug":"how-fame-and-popularity-affect-a-marriag","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-fame-and-popularity-affect-a-marriag\/","title":{"rendered":"How Fame and Popularity Affect a Marriag"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Michael W. Smith talks about the lowest point of his musical journey and what brought him back from despair.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-02-16.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.4M","filesize_raw":"11957083","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4299],"podcast_series":[7435],"cwp_profile":[8991],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301060","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-faith","podcast_series-the-second-chance","cwp_profile-michael-w-smith","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301060\/how-fame-and-popularity-affect-a-marriag","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301060\/how-fame-and-popularity-affect-a-marriag","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Ohlhe7jkif\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-fame-and-popularity-affect-a-marriag\/\">How Fame and Popularity Affect a Marriag<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-fame-and-popularity-affect-a-marriag\/embed\/#?secret=Ohlhe7jkif\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How Fame and Popularity Affect a Marriag&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Ohlhe7jkif\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-02-16.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-02-16.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0There are a lot of really, really bad ramifications over a broken home, and I just thought, \"You know what?\u00a0 It's time to be home.\u00a0 So the 70, 80, 90-city tours began to come to a halt, and I began to fly home every night.\u00a0 I would go out and do two, three shows, and I'd jump on a jet and come home.\u00a0 I didn't care what it cost, I'm coming home, and I'm going to drive my kids to school the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, February 16th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today Michael W. Smith talks about facing temptation in marriage and keeping your guard up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 I wonder how many of our listeners have ever stopped to think about what it might be like to be married to a famous performer, somebody who is on tour, somebody who is in the movies, somebody that has his picture all over album covers in the store.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I would imagine some of them have fantasized about that, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And you probably think what a wonderful, glamorous life that would be, and you don't realize that when a guy goes out on a 90-city tour, you don't see him for very long, and that when he's making a movie, it's fun to be married to a movie star, but then you've got a lot of people in the theater who are looking at that guy and going, \"He's really handsome.\"\u00a0 So you've got a lot of women thinking your husband's handsome.\u00a0 There are some downsides to it, don't you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Many downsides, and this week a great new movie is being released called \"The Second Chance.\"\u00a0 It's a movie about, really, the compelling story of two men who are getting in each other's lives and experiencing their world.\u00a0 It's about racial reconciliation, about redemption, and the cool thing about this is, it has a strong Christian theme to it, and Michael W. Smith, the famous Gospel music artist, is starring in that movie.\u00a0 So I would imagine that Debbie Smith is facing some new issues in her life as she watches her husband, who has been a music and recording star and writing praise and worship music for local churches, and yet she's facing a new day now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And it's interesting \u2013 Michael stopped by our offices a few months ago.\u00a0 Our staff had had the chance to get a preview of this movie, and we sat down afterwards to talk about his life and his career and his marriage and his family, and he made it pretty clear in the middle of that interview that when he comes home, his family is not particularly impressed by his job.\u00a0 He doesn't walk in the door and have his wife go, \"You're that handsome movie star,\" or \"I just love your music.\"\u00a0 She just has a job ready for him to do, and he better get to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, it's the real life all of us live; they live it as well, and it's really a cool interview that you had the privilege of doing with Michael W. Smith talking about finding and keeping the love of his life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0[From audiotape].\u00a0 You believe in love at first sight, don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0At least for me I do.\u00a0 I don't highly recommend that when I speak to youth groups and stuff, because we had a very unique encounter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Tell us about your unique encounter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Well, I was at a record company waiting to have a meeting with a guy about getting a record deal.\u00a0 This was before I'd even done the project album, and I'd had no interest in relationships whatsoever.\u00a0 I mean, obviously, I like girls, you know \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 but you were pretty career-focused.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I was.\u00a0 I was just writing songs, and I was thinking, \"I'll think about relationships down the road\" or whatever.\u00a0 So \u2013 and then this girl walked by.\u00a0 I was sitting in the lobby reading a \"Time\" magazine, and she walked by, and, you know, I looked around and thought, \"Oh, my gosh, what's going on here,\" because I fell in love.\u00a0 You know, even that first time, it was the weirdest thing.\u00a0 The wild thing was I kept praying that she wouldn't walk back by, but then the other side of me was wishing that she would.\u00a0 And she did, five minutes later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Just drop-dead gorgeous, is that what it was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I thought she was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I still do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Five-foot-three, 100 pounds \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I always thought I'd marry somebody tall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And you called your mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I called my mom \u2013 I ran in there and called Mom and said, \"Mom, I just saw the girl I'm going to marry.\"\u00a0 I'm obviously talking 100 miles a minute, and Mom said, \"What's her name?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Mom, I don't know.\u00a0 I don't know.\"\u00a0 And I know what my mom thought, \"Oh, gosh, what's happened to my son?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, eventually I went and found her in the warehouse and went out three days later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Found her in the warehouse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0She was working in the warehouse at the record company is what I found out.\u00a0 I actually went back that day and found her that afternoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You asked around?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Well, I did, and I finally found out who she was, and they said, \"I think she went to the restroom.\"\u00a0 And so I go to the women's restroom and wait outside for her to walk out.\u00a0 She walks out \u2013 old jeans, t-shirt, and I introduce myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And what did she say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0She said, \"Nice to meet you,\" you know, and dada da da da, and I went back again that afternoon and asked her out, which is stupid, you know?\u00a0 I was just, like \u2013 I was so excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You knew zero about her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I knew zero about her, and she said no because she had a date.\u00a0 But she said she'd go out three days later, and she did.\u00a0 And we were engaged three-and-a-half weeks after our first date and married four months later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Three-and-a-half weeks?\u00a0 Another thing you don't necessarily recommend to the youth group, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Probably not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0How did you know in three-and-a-half weeks, \"I've got to marry this woman?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Well, first of all, she had to be in love with me.\u00a0 That's a key ingredient.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You had to [unintelligible] the same person, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And I just knew what an extremely godly woman she was, even after three-and-a-half weeks, her spirit, and I just thought I can't imagine living with anybody else the rest of my life.\u00a0 I think this is the love of my life.\u00a0 The real test was Finto, my pastor.\u00a0 I'm thinking \u2013 we set this meeting up with Don.\u00a0 I'm thinking, \"Gosh, I almost don't want to set this meeting up with Don because Don's going to shut it down, but I've got to tell Don.\"\u00a0 I tell Don everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And so we went to Don, and said, \"Don, we want to get married.\u00a0 We feel like this is what God wants us to do,\" and he looked at us, and he says, \"That's just great.\u00a0 That's awesome.\"\u00a0 When this whole thunderous response, like, \"Okay, here's the guidelines.\u00a0 Here's what needs to happen,\" and he \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 he laid it out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0He laid it out \u2013 this is what we do, what we don't do, end of story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She was ready in three-and-a-half weeks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Yeah, she was scared.\u00a0 The wild thing was, I remember, she told me later, after our second date, we went out on a Monday night, went out Tuesday night, went out Wednesday night \u2013 it wasn't a one-day-a-week deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I gotcha.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And she thought she was \u2013 she's a Wheaton grad, got her degree in biology, she was going to get her doctorate at UT, and she's going to go to Africa and marry a missionary and live on the mission field.\u00a0 And now she's falling in love with a musician.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Oh, man, that's trouble right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Big trouble.\u00a0 And she told me later she came to the studio to watch me record some songs, and on her way home on that second date, she met me down there, she was driving home, she cried all the way home.\u00a0 And her life is totally going to change, UT is probably not going to happen, she's probably not going to move to Africa.\u00a0 So it was pretty wild.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It was pretty wild, and I don't know that she thought in the first three-and-a-half weeks or even in the four months that followed that falling in love with a musician, somebody who was ultimately going to go on and have success as a musician and be on the road as often as you've been on the road, and faced temptations that good-looking, successful singers face \u2013 has any of that been hard?\u00a0 Has it been the kind of thing that has threatened your marriage at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0You know what?\u00a0 I think, for the most part, no.\u00a0 You know, there have been a few places where it was difficult for us.\u00a0 I think probably one of the most difficult times, and I can thank God I can just say they've been very few and far between.\u00a0 Every marriage is going to be rough at some point.\u00a0 You have to work through things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I think the toughest part for her was when she was pregnant with number four and \"Place in This World\" was a hit, and there was all this mainstream attention, and I was \"The Tonight Show,\" and I was moving here, moving there.\u00a0 She's pregnant with number four, she's trying to be a mother to three kids, she's feeling very unattractive, and I'm in the limelight.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And not home much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And not home much during that time \u2013 \"so Deb, did you hear about \u2013 oh, gosh, I did this and, you know, did you hear about this and dadadada,\" and she doesn't want to hear any of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She could care less, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Just come home \u2013 help.\u00a0 You know, so that was \u2013 I think that she had a little bit of a breakdown just and, boy, I realized, going, \"Oh, wow.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Have there been times when you've, in a conversation with her, things have been headed off, career-wise, and she has said, \"I need you,\" and you've had to say, \"I'm out of here, I've got to go home.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Absolutely \u2013 took a sabbatical.\u00a0 We've done that a couple of times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That doesn't make the record company real happy, does it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0That's just the way it goes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And they've got to live with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 Family has always been first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Is that because of the model that you had growing up?\u00a0 Where is that conviction been \u2013 what birthed that in you, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Maybe it was \u2013 I don't know \u2013 maybe it was seeing my dad, you know?\u00a0 I mean, my dad was fortunate in some way because he had a steady job, and he didn't have to leave town, but my dad took care of us not only financially but his love, him walking out and throwing the ball with me every day, you know, his involvement at church, his involvement in the community \u2013 he just was a godly man, you know, and I'm sure that had something to do with it, but also I know, deep inside, just, in my faith, in growing up, thinking, \"If I don't protect my family, and if I'm not home enough, this thing is in trouble.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, you have seen wreckage along the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And I'd seen it happen in other families, and you'd hear the horror stories about people gone all the time and, all of a sudden, a year later they're getting divorced.\u00a0 \"What do you mean, they're getting divorced?\"\u00a0 \"They're getting divorced.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0But somewhere deep inside of you is the thought that that can't happen, it isn't going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0It's not going to happen, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And I'm just wondering how that's so rock solid in you.\u00a0 Were you \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I think it's the fear of God, honestly, and there are a lot of really, really bad ramifications of a broken home.\u00a0 And I think around \"The Place in This World\" thing, and a little bit after that, you know, Ryan started becoming a teenager, and my kids started getting older, you know, they're not just five, six, seven, eight, nine anymore.\u00a0 And I just thought, you know, it's time to be home.\u00a0 So the 70, 80, 90-city tours began to come to a halt, and I began to fly home every night.\u00a0 I would go out and do two, three shows, and I'd jump on a jet and come home.\u00a0 I didn't tell very many people that \u2013 I didn't care what it cost, I'm coming home after Little Rock or Dallas, and I'm going to drive my kids to school the next day, and I did it for years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Did you and Debbie deliberately set up some structure to how marriage was going to work for you, given the demands that you were going to have?\u00a0 Or did you have to kind of play it by ear as you went along?\u00a0 I'm just thinking, again, of the strain of the vocation you're in.\u00a0 Did you sit down at the beginning and say, \"To make this work, we've got to do X, Y, and Z?\u00a0 Did you have some counsel from others?\u00a0 How did you tackle all that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I think we maybe did that, to a certain degree, but probably not as much as we should have.\u00a0 I think we played it by ear, for the most part, because I didn't know what I was getting myself into.\u00a0 I didn't know if I was going to be successful.\u00a0 I'll never forget telling Deb after I made the first album, I thought, \"You know what?\u00a0 If I never get to do another record, this has been worth the wait.\u00a0 And what a thrill, thank you, God for the first record.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It came out in '81?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0'83, February of '83.\u00a0 And then all of a sudden you're out opening for Amy Grant, and, all of a sudden, this thing explodes.\u00a0 So it was really \u2013 we didn't know what was out there.\u00a0 I think the challenge was when the demands came in.\u00a0 \"What do you mean you're going on a 65-city tour?\"\u00a0 And I'll never forget, it was funny, too, because my wife and I joke about this and think it's funny \u2013 on that first tour, I did a three-and-a-half week tour \u2013 this was before project came out \u2013 only three-and-a-half-week tour in the spring of '82.\u00a0 Deb and I had been married for six months.\u00a0 I would literally call and cry \u2013 we'd just cry on the phone \u2013 \"I miss you so much.\u00a0 This is unbelievable.\"\u00a0 And I made these tapes, a diary on cassette tape, and I still have it, and I have one tape that says \u2013 this is spring of '82 \u2013 \"I will never, ever, ever, ever do another tour for the rest of my life.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Then when we decided to do that tour of '83, I went to my management, and says, \"Guys, I'm not going on the road unless my wife can go.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And Deb came along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And she came along and did the straight well \u2013 that would have been the Ace Eights Tour.\u00a0 And then she had Ryan \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right, and that changes things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Then that changed things, and she stayed home and became a mom, and that's when we thought, \"Okay, we can do this.\u00a0 We'll fly home, and we'll make sure that we're not gone 200 days a year.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I talked to Michael Card one time, and he said that he had read something that said when you're away from one another for more than nine days, it was like this was \u2013 psychologists had determined this was the magic number.\u00a0 It's when isolation \u2013 you started to lose track of who you were and your connectedness.\u00a0 So he just said no more tours longer than nine days.\u00a0 I've got to have some time home in between that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I think to myself, \"How many people don't think those things through, and if you don't, what you're involved with will consume you.\"\u00a0 I mean, you look at what happened to John Belushi, as an example, you're in an industry that if you don't put some checks and balances on the industry, it will take all you have and more, won't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Right, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And did your realize that, getting into it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Or did you know early that you could \u2013 I mean \u2013 when you're the young kid opening for Amy Grant, and you said, \"I'm not going on this tour unless my wife comes with me,\" that's a pretty gutsy move.\u00a0 They can say, you know, we can find the next hot young kid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Right.\u00a0 It was a gutsy move then.\u00a0 But for some reason they just said yes, okay.\u00a0 They just gave into the demands.\u00a0 It wasn't a big fight, it was really interesting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0If they had said no, would you have said, \"Okay, I'm still going.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I don't know if I would have.\u00a0 I don't think so.\u00a0 I'm usually not gone more than three or four days at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That gets you back \u2013 you have to stay \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I can't think of ever being gone nine days or 10 days unless I'm out of the country, and usually the out-of-the-country things are two weeks, but lately when I've been going out of the country, I've been taking my family, which is fun.\u00a0 But, yeah, I just said no more than five days, and then, again, it was a week, I think, this past \u2013 about three weeks ago we did a week on the West Coast, and I was gone for seven days, and that was it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know that one of the things we do, we host conferences all around the country for couples to attend to strengthen their marriage.\u00a0 If you had a chance, let's say I had you in front of 1,000 couples, and you could challenge them on the need for building into their marriage, how would you exhort them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I know you're dealing with a lot of different people who are dealing with a lot of different things.\u00a0 I would say I will go back to the number-one thing with my kids \u2013 communicate, communication, communication.\u00a0 And I would challenge the men \u2013 you know, this is a two-way street here.\u00a0 The wonderful thing about marriage, the wonderful thing and rude-awakening thing about marriage is you know what?\u00a0 You're not just you; it's not just me.\u00a0 All of a sudden, you've made a commitment to put somebody before yourself for the rest of your life and, men, you are to love your wives as Christ loved the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And even in the midst of strife and trouble, I would say to the men, \"Guys, if there is anybody that has to take the high road, you've got to take the high road.\u00a0 I don't care what's involved, you've got to be Christ-like and take the high road.\u00a0 You've got to lead this thing because that's what God has ordained.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, again, that wise advice was being dispensed by Grammy and Dove award-winning singer\/songwriter Michael W. Smith who is also now movie star Michael W. Smith.\u00a0 His new movie, \"The Second Chance\" opening this weekend in cities all across the country \u2013 but not bad counsel, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It really is excellent.\u00a0 You know, there at the end you asked him to give a challenge to couples attending our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference and, of course, this is a Friday night, all day Saturday, all day Sunday conference, and if folks were in that conference, Bob, they would have been learning what he was talking about \u2013 communication, the role of the husband in leadership and how to protect and how to add the ingredients for growth in his wife, in his marriage, in his family, and practically equipping him and his bride with biblical tools.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, we live in a culture of divorce.\u00a0 We live in a culture that is redefining marriage, and in this culture that is attacking commitment and love and the covenant that shapes and protects a marriage relationship \u2013 if there has ever been a time your children need to see you investing in your marriage, to learn how to communicate like Michael W. Smith talked about, to know how to lead as a man, I think it's today.\u00a0 I think today is the time to take a weekend and invest in your marriage.\u00a0 If you don't do it, the casualties ought to be enough of a warning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But you know what?\u00a0 This is not just about avoiding being a casualty.\u00a0 This is about succeeding.\u00a0 I mean, building a marriage that not only goes the distance but one that's gratifying and satisfying.\u00a0 I can promise you, you cannot go to a better weekend to equip you than the Weekend to Remember.\u00a0 And if we're not in your city, we're in a city near you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yes, in fact, if you go to our website and click where it says, \"Today's Broadcast,\" there's a link there that will take you to the Weekend to Remember portion of the site, and there you can type in your zip code.\u00a0 We can give you a list of conferences that are coming near where you live.\u00a0 You can pick out the one that's closest, and you can plan to attend one of our upcoming spring Weekend to Remember conferences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can register online or get more information.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLife.com, click where it says, \"Today's Broadcast,\" and from there follow the links to where you can get more information about attending one of these upcoming conferences.\u00a0 And, as you might expect, if you're looking for other resources to help strengthen your marriage, you'll find those on our website at FamilyLife.com as well, and, in fact, if for some reason you can't attend one of our Weekend to Remember conferences this spring, we do have the conference available on CD.\u00a0 You can order the CDs and listen together to the messages from the Weekend to Remember conference.\u00a0 There is more information about that on our website as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Just go to FamilyLife.com and click where it says \"Today's Broadcast.\"\u00a0 You can also get more information or make reservations for a Weekend to Remember by calling 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Someone on our team can get you all signed up for a conference or send you additional information.\u00a0 Again, it's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I was looking over some information recently, and we were encouraged.\u00a0 It appears that about a million-and-a-half people a week tune in to listen to FamilyLife Today on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 We have more who are listening via the Internet.\u00a0 We have folks who are passing our program along to others on CD.\u00a0 We've got a lot of folks who are tuned in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, a handful of those folks who listen also help support the ministry by making financial contributions to help defray the expenses associated with this radio program, getting it out to as many folks as we do, and we appreciate those of you who partner with us.\u00a0 You are helping us spread this message to hundreds of thousands of folks every day, and we could not do that without you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0During the month of February, we have a special way we'd like to say thank you to those of you who can help with a donation this month.\u00a0 We have a message from Jody and Linda Dillow, friends of ours who were speaking at one of our FamilyLife conferences a few months ago on the subject of marital intimacy, understanding God's purpose and design for romance and passion in marriage to be enjoyed and to be expressed freely and openly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We would love to send you a CD of their message called \"The Four Flames of Intimacy\" as our way of saying thank you for your donation of any amount to the ministry of FamilyLife Today this month.\u00a0 You can donate online or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation.\u00a0 If you're donating online, and you'd like the CD, just write the word \"flame\" in the keycode box that you find there, and we'll know to send it to you.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone and mention that you'd like the CD about intimacy in marriage.\u00a0 They'll know what you're talking about, and we'll get that sent out to you as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Let me say thank you for your financial support of this ministry and on behalf of the hundreds of thousands who are tuned in to listen each week, on their behalf let me say thank you as well for your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow we're going to be joined again by Michael W. Smith and by the director of the new movie, \"The Second Chance,\" Steve Taylor.\u00a0 We'll talk about what they had in mind when they made the movie and why it's rated PG-13.\u00a0 We'll have a candid conversation about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow with another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["11.4M"],"filesize_raw":["11957083"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301060.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301060.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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W. Smith talks about the lowest point of his musical journey and what brought him back from despair.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-02-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0There are a lot of really, really bad ramifications over a broken home, and I just thought, \"You know what?\u00a0 It's time to be home.\u00a0 So the 70, 80, 90-city tours began to come to a halt, and I began to fly home every night.\u00a0 I would go out and do two, three shows, and I'd jump on a jet and come home.\u00a0 I didn't care what it cost, I'm coming home, and I'm going to drive my kids to school the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, February 16th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today Michael W. Smith talks about facing temptation in marriage and keeping your guard up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 I wonder how many of our listeners have ever stopped to think about what it might be like to be married to a famous performer, somebody who is on tour, somebody who is in the movies, somebody that has his picture all over album covers in the store.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I would imagine some of them have fantasized about that, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And you probably think what a wonderful, glamorous life that would be, and you don't realize that when a guy goes out on a 90-city tour, you don't see him for very long, and that when he's making a movie, it's fun to be married to a movie star, but then you've got a lot of people in the theater who are looking at that guy and going, \"He's really handsome.\"\u00a0 So you've got a lot of women thinking your husband's handsome.\u00a0 There are some downsides to it, don't you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Many downsides, and this week a great new movie is being released called \"The Second Chance.\"\u00a0 It's a movie about, really, the compelling story of two men who are getting in each other's lives and experiencing their world.\u00a0 It's about racial reconciliation, about redemption, and the cool thing about this is, it has a strong Christian theme to it, and Michael W. Smith, the famous Gospel music artist, is starring in that movie.\u00a0 So I would imagine that Debbie Smith is facing some new issues in her life as she watches her husband, who has been a music and recording star and writing praise and worship music for local churches, and yet she's facing a new day now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And it's interesting \u2013 Michael stopped by our offices a few months ago.\u00a0 Our staff had had the chance to get a preview of this movie, and we sat down afterwards to talk about his life and his career and his marriage and his family, and he made it pretty clear in the middle of that interview that when he comes home, his family is not particularly impressed by his job.\u00a0 He doesn't walk in the door and have his wife go, \"You're that handsome movie star,\" or \"I just love your music.\"\u00a0 She just has a job ready for him to do, and he better get to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yes, it's the real life all of us live; they live it as well, and it's really a cool interview that you had the privilege of doing with Michael W. Smith talking about finding and keeping the love of his life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0[From audiotape].\u00a0 You believe in love at first sight, don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0At least for me I do.\u00a0 I don't highly recommend that when I speak to youth groups and stuff, because we had a very unique encounter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Tell us about your unique encounter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Well, I was at a record company waiting to have a meeting with a guy about getting a record deal.\u00a0 This was before I'd even done the project album, and I'd had no interest in relationships whatsoever.\u00a0 I mean, obviously, I like girls, you know \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 but you were pretty career-focused.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I was.\u00a0 I was just writing songs, and I was thinking, \"I'll think about relationships down the road\" or whatever.\u00a0 So \u2013 and then this girl walked by.\u00a0 I was sitting in the lobby reading a \"Time\" magazine, and she walked by, and, you know, I looked around and thought, \"Oh, my gosh, what's going on here,\" because I fell in love.\u00a0 You know, even that first time, it was the weirdest thing.\u00a0 The wild thing was I kept praying that she wouldn't walk back by, but then the other side of me was wishing that she would.\u00a0 And she did, five minutes later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Just drop-dead gorgeous, is that what it was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I thought she was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I still do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Five-foot-three, 100 pounds \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I always thought I'd marry somebody tall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And you called your mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I called my mom \u2013 I ran in there and called Mom and said, \"Mom, I just saw the girl I'm going to marry.\"\u00a0 I'm obviously talking 100 miles a minute, and Mom said, \"What's her name?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Mom, I don't know.\u00a0 I don't know.\"\u00a0 And I know what my mom thought, \"Oh, gosh, what's happened to my son?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, eventually I went and found her in the warehouse and went out three days later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Found her in the warehouse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0She was working in the warehouse at the record company is what I found out.\u00a0 I actually went back that day and found her that afternoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You asked around?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Well, I did, and I finally found out who she was, and they said, \"I think she went to the restroom.\"\u00a0 And so I go to the women's restroom and wait outside for her to walk out.\u00a0 She walks out \u2013 old jeans, t-shirt, and I introduce myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And what did she say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0She said, \"Nice to meet you,\" you know, and dada da da da, and I went back again that afternoon and asked her out, which is stupid, you know?\u00a0 I was just, like \u2013 I was so excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You knew zero about her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I knew zero about her, and she said no because she had a date.\u00a0 But she said she'd go out three days later, and she did.\u00a0 And we were engaged three-and-a-half weeks after our first date and married four months later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Three-and-a-half weeks?\u00a0 Another thing you don't necessarily recommend to the youth group, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Probably not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0How did you know in three-and-a-half weeks, \"I've got to marry this woman?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Well, first of all, she had to be in love with me.\u00a0 That's a key ingredient.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You had to [unintelligible] the same person, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And I just knew what an extremely godly woman she was, even after three-and-a-half weeks, her spirit, and I just thought I can't imagine living with anybody else the rest of my life.\u00a0 I think this is the love of my life.\u00a0 The real test was Finto, my pastor.\u00a0 I'm thinking \u2013 we set this meeting up with Don.\u00a0 I'm thinking, \"Gosh, I almost don't want to set this meeting up with Don because Don's going to shut it down, but I've got to tell Don.\"\u00a0 I tell Don everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And so we went to Don, and said, \"Don, we want to get married.\u00a0 We feel like this is what God wants us to do,\" and he looked at us, and he says, \"That's just great.\u00a0 That's awesome.\"\u00a0 When this whole thunderous response, like, \"Okay, here's the guidelines.\u00a0 Here's what needs to happen,\" and he \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0\u2026 he laid it out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0He laid it out \u2013 this is what we do, what we don't do, end of story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She was ready in three-and-a-half weeks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Yeah, she was scared.\u00a0 The wild thing was, I remember, she told me later, after our second date, we went out on a Monday night, went out Tuesday night, went out Wednesday night \u2013 it wasn't a one-day-a-week deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I gotcha.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And she thought she was \u2013 she's a Wheaton grad, got her degree in biology, she was going to get her doctorate at UT, and she's going to go to Africa and marry a missionary and live on the mission field.\u00a0 And now she's falling in love with a musician.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Oh, man, that's trouble right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Big trouble.\u00a0 And she told me later she came to the studio to watch me record some songs, and on her way home on that second date, she met me down there, she was driving home, she cried all the way home.\u00a0 And her life is totally going to change, UT is probably not going to happen, she's probably not going to move to Africa.\u00a0 So it was pretty wild.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It was pretty wild, and I don't know that she thought in the first three-and-a-half weeks or even in the four months that followed that falling in love with a musician, somebody who was ultimately going to go on and have success as a musician and be on the road as often as you've been on the road, and faced temptations that good-looking, successful singers face \u2013 has any of that been hard?\u00a0 Has it been the kind of thing that has threatened your marriage at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0You know what?\u00a0 I think, for the most part, no.\u00a0 You know, there have been a few places where it was difficult for us.\u00a0 I think probably one of the most difficult times, and I can thank God I can just say they've been very few and far between.\u00a0 Every marriage is going to be rough at some point.\u00a0 You have to work through things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I think the toughest part for her was when she was pregnant with number four and \"Place in This World\" was a hit, and there was all this mainstream attention, and I was \"The Tonight Show,\" and I was moving here, moving there.\u00a0 She's pregnant with number four, she's trying to be a mother to three kids, she's feeling very unattractive, and I'm in the limelight.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And not home much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And not home much during that time \u2013 \"so Deb, did you hear about \u2013 oh, gosh, I did this and, you know, did you hear about this and dadadada,\" and she doesn't want to hear any of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She could care less, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Just come home \u2013 help.\u00a0 You know, so that was \u2013 I think that she had a little bit of a breakdown just and, boy, I realized, going, \"Oh, wow.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Have there been times when you've, in a conversation with her, things have been headed off, career-wise, and she has said, \"I need you,\" and you've had to say, \"I'm out of here, I've got to go home.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Absolutely \u2013 took a sabbatical.\u00a0 We've done that a couple of times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That doesn't make the record company real happy, does it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0That's just the way it goes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And they've got to live with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Absolutely.\u00a0 Family has always been first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Is that because of the model that you had growing up?\u00a0 Where is that conviction been \u2013 what birthed that in you, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Maybe it was \u2013 I don't know \u2013 maybe it was seeing my dad, you know?\u00a0 I mean, my dad was fortunate in some way because he had a steady job, and he didn't have to leave town, but my dad took care of us not only financially but his love, him walking out and throwing the ball with me every day, you know, his involvement at church, his involvement in the community \u2013 he just was a godly man, you know, and I'm sure that had something to do with it, but also I know, deep inside, just, in my faith, in growing up, thinking, \"If I don't protect my family, and if I'm not home enough, this thing is in trouble.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, you have seen wreckage along the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And I'd seen it happen in other families, and you'd hear the horror stories about people gone all the time and, all of a sudden, a year later they're getting divorced.\u00a0 \"What do you mean, they're getting divorced?\"\u00a0 \"They're getting divorced.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0But somewhere deep inside of you is the thought that that can't happen, it isn't going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0It's not going to happen, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And I'm just wondering how that's so rock solid in you.\u00a0 Were you \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I think it's the fear of God, honestly, and there are a lot of really, really bad ramifications of a broken home.\u00a0 And I think around \"The Place in This World\" thing, and a little bit after that, you know, Ryan started becoming a teenager, and my kids started getting older, you know, they're not just five, six, seven, eight, nine anymore.\u00a0 And I just thought, you know, it's time to be home.\u00a0 So the 70, 80, 90-city tours began to come to a halt, and I began to fly home every night.\u00a0 I would go out and do two, three shows, and I'd jump on a jet and come home.\u00a0 I didn't tell very many people that \u2013 I didn't care what it cost, I'm coming home after Little Rock or Dallas, and I'm going to drive my kids to school the next day, and I did it for years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Did you and Debbie deliberately set up some structure to how marriage was going to work for you, given the demands that you were going to have?\u00a0 Or did you have to kind of play it by ear as you went along?\u00a0 I'm just thinking, again, of the strain of the vocation you're in.\u00a0 Did you sit down at the beginning and say, \"To make this work, we've got to do X, Y, and Z?\u00a0 Did you have some counsel from others?\u00a0 How did you tackle all that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I think we maybe did that, to a certain degree, but probably not as much as we should have.\u00a0 I think we played it by ear, for the most part, because I didn't know what I was getting myself into.\u00a0 I didn't know if I was going to be successful.\u00a0 I'll never forget telling Deb after I made the first album, I thought, \"You know what?\u00a0 If I never get to do another record, this has been worth the wait.\u00a0 And what a thrill, thank you, God for the first record.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0It came out in '81?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0'83, February of '83.\u00a0 And then all of a sudden you're out opening for Amy Grant, and, all of a sudden, this thing explodes.\u00a0 So it was really \u2013 we didn't know what was out there.\u00a0 I think the challenge was when the demands came in.\u00a0 \"What do you mean you're going on a 65-city tour?\"\u00a0 And I'll never forget, it was funny, too, because my wife and I joke about this and think it's funny \u2013 on that first tour, I did a three-and-a-half week tour \u2013 this was before project came out \u2013 only three-and-a-half-week tour in the spring of '82.\u00a0 Deb and I had been married for six months.\u00a0 I would literally call and cry \u2013 we'd just cry on the phone \u2013 \"I miss you so much.\u00a0 This is unbelievable.\"\u00a0 And I made these tapes, a diary on cassette tape, and I still have it, and I have one tape that says \u2013 this is spring of '82 \u2013 \"I will never, ever, ever, ever do another tour for the rest of my life.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Then when we decided to do that tour of '83, I went to my management, and says, \"Guys, I'm not going on the road unless my wife can go.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And Deb came along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0And she came along and did the straight well \u2013 that would have been the Ace Eights Tour.\u00a0 And then she had Ryan \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Right, and that changes things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Then that changed things, and she stayed home and became a mom, and that's when we thought, \"Okay, we can do this.\u00a0 We'll fly home, and we'll make sure that we're not gone 200 days a year.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I talked to Michael Card one time, and he said that he had read something that said when you're away from one another for more than nine days, it was like this was \u2013 psychologists had determined this was the magic number.\u00a0 It's when isolation \u2013 you started to lose track of who you were and your connectedness.\u00a0 So he just said no more tours longer than nine days.\u00a0 I've got to have some time home in between that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And I think to myself, \"How many people don't think those things through, and if you don't, what you're involved with will consume you.\"\u00a0 I mean, you look at what happened to John Belushi, as an example, you're in an industry that if you don't put some checks and balances on the industry, it will take all you have and more, won't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Right, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And did your realize that, getting into it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Or did you know early that you could \u2013 I mean \u2013 when you're the young kid opening for Amy Grant, and you said, \"I'm not going on this tour unless my wife comes with me,\" that's a pretty gutsy move.\u00a0 They can say, you know, we can find the next hot young kid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0Right.\u00a0 It was a gutsy move then.\u00a0 But for some reason they just said yes, okay.\u00a0 They just gave into the demands.\u00a0 It wasn't a big fight, it was really interesting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0If they had said no, would you have said, \"Okay, I'm still going.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I don't know if I would have.\u00a0 I don't think so.\u00a0 I'm usually not gone more than three or four days at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That gets you back \u2013 you have to stay \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I can't think of ever being gone nine days or 10 days unless I'm out of the country, and usually the out-of-the-country things are two weeks, but lately when I've been going out of the country, I've been taking my family, which is fun.\u00a0 But, yeah, I just said no more than five days, and then, again, it was a week, I think, this past \u2013 about three weeks ago we did a week on the West Coast, and I was gone for seven days, and that was it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You know that one of the things we do, we host conferences all around the country for couples to attend to strengthen their marriage.\u00a0 If you had a chance, let's say I had you in front of 1,000 couples, and you could challenge them on the need for building into their marriage, how would you exhort them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael:\u00a0I know you're dealing with a lot of different people who are dealing with a lot of different things.\u00a0 I would say I will go back to the number-one thing with my kids \u2013 communicate, communication, communication.\u00a0 And I would challenge the men \u2013 you know, this is a two-way street here.\u00a0 The wonderful thing about marriage, the wonderful thing and rude-awakening thing about marriage is you know what?\u00a0 You're not just you; it's not just me.\u00a0 All of a sudden, you've made a commitment to put somebody before yourself for the rest of your life and, men, you are to love your wives as Christ loved the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And even in the midst of strife and trouble, I would say to the men, \"Guys, if there is anybody that has to take the high road, you've got to take the high road.\u00a0 I don't care what's involved, you've got to be Christ-like and take the high road.\u00a0 You've got to lead this thing because that's what God has ordained.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[musical transition]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Well, again, that wise advice was being dispensed by Grammy and Dove award-winning singer\/songwriter Michael W. Smith who is also now movie star Michael W. Smith.\u00a0 His new movie, \"The Second Chance\" opening this weekend in cities all across the country \u2013 but not bad counsel, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It really is excellent.\u00a0 You know, there at the end you asked him to give a challenge to couples attending our Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference and, of course, this is a Friday night, all day Saturday, all day Sunday conference, and if folks were in that conference, Bob, they would have been learning what he was talking about \u2013 communication, the role of the husband in leadership and how to protect and how to add the ingredients for growth in his wife, in his marriage, in his family, and practically equipping him and his bride with biblical tools.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know, we live in a culture of divorce.\u00a0 We live in a culture that is redefining marriage, and in this culture that is attacking commitment and love and the covenant that shapes and protects a marriage relationship \u2013 if there has ever been a time your children need to see you investing in your marriage, to learn how to communicate like Michael W. Smith talked about, to know how to lead as a man, I think it's today.\u00a0 I think today is the time to take a weekend and invest in your marriage.\u00a0 If you don't do it, the casualties ought to be enough of a warning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But you know what?\u00a0 This is not just about avoiding being a casualty.\u00a0 This is about succeeding.\u00a0 I mean, building a marriage that not only goes the distance but one that's gratifying and satisfying.\u00a0 I can promise you, you cannot go to a better weekend to equip you than the Weekend to Remember.\u00a0 And if we're not in your city, we're in a city near you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yes, in fact, if you go to our website and click where it says, \"Today's Broadcast,\" there's a link there that will take you to the Weekend to Remember portion of the site, and there you can type in your zip code.\u00a0 We can give you a list of conferences that are coming near where you live.\u00a0 You can pick out the one that's closest, and you can plan to attend one of our upcoming spring Weekend to Remember conferences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can register online or get more information.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLife.com, click where it says, \"Today's Broadcast,\" and from there follow the links to where you can get more information about attending one of these upcoming conferences.\u00a0 And, as you might expect, if you're looking for other resources to help strengthen your marriage, you'll find those on our website at FamilyLife.com as well, and, in fact, if for some reason you can't attend one of our Weekend to Remember conferences this spring, we do have the conference available on CD.\u00a0 You can order the CDs and listen together to the messages from the Weekend to Remember conference.\u00a0 There is more information about that on our website as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Just go to FamilyLife.com and click where it says \"Today's Broadcast.\"\u00a0 You can also get more information or make reservations for a Weekend to Remember by calling 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Someone on our team can get you all signed up for a conference or send you additional information.\u00a0 Again, it's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I was looking over some information recently, and we were encouraged.\u00a0 It appears that about a million-and-a-half people a week tune in to listen to FamilyLife Today on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 We have more who are listening via the Internet.\u00a0 We have folks who are passing our program along to others on CD.\u00a0 We've got a lot of folks who are tuned in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Now, a handful of those folks who listen also help support the ministry by making financial contributions to help defray the expenses associated with this radio program, getting it out to as many folks as we do, and we appreciate those of you who partner with us.\u00a0 You are helping us spread this message to hundreds of thousands of folks every day, and we could not do that without you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0During the month of February, we have a special way we'd like to say thank you to those of you who can help with a donation this month.\u00a0 We have a message from Jody and Linda Dillow, friends of ours who were speaking at one of our FamilyLife conferences a few months ago on the subject of marital intimacy, understanding God's purpose and design for romance and passion in marriage to be enjoyed and to be expressed freely and openly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We would love to send you a CD of their message called \"The Four Flames of Intimacy\" as our way of saying thank you for your donation of any amount to the ministry of FamilyLife Today this month.\u00a0 You can donate online or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation.\u00a0 If you're donating online, and you'd like the CD, just write the word \"flame\" in the keycode box that you find there, and we'll know to send it to you.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone and mention that you'd like the CD about intimacy in marriage.\u00a0 They'll know what you're talking about, and we'll get that sent out to you as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Let me say thank you for your financial support of this ministry and on behalf of the hundreds of thousands who are tuned in to listen each week, on their behalf let me say thank you as well for your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, tomorrow we're going to be joined again by Michael W. Smith and by the director of the new movie, \"The Second Chance,\" Steve Taylor.\u00a0 We'll talk about what they had in mind when they made the movie and why it's rated PG-13.\u00a0 We'll have a candid conversation about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back tomorrow with another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301060"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301060"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301060"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301060"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}