{"id":301054,"date":"2006-01-27T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-27T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/helping-them-worship\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:42:15","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:42:15","slug":"helping-them-worship","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/helping-them-worship\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Them Worship"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Children will love worship once you teach them how.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2006-01-27.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.4M","filesize_raw":"11958755","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[4722,4299,2209],"podcast_series":[7430],"cwp_profile":[8987],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301054","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-christianity","tag-faith","tag-parenting","podcast_series-parenting-in-the-pew","cwp_profile-robbie-castleman","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301054\/helping-them-worship","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301054\/helping-them-worship","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5ShV6TalHd\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/helping-them-worship\/\">Helping Them Worship<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/helping-them-worship\/embed\/#?secret=5ShV6TalHd\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Helping Them Worship&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5ShV6TalHd\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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one time we were quite late getting to, actually, the Sunday school hour, and it was because we'd had a row and a go around, and we had to get straight, we had to get straight first, and we all got there late.\u00a0 So spiritual preparation, the preparation of our hearts has got to be a part of the logistics.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, January 27th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What kinds of things are you doing to make sure your family is spiritually prepared for worship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I remember one time Mary Ann and I were visiting a new church, and we wound up sitting in the front of the church on the right side as you face the pastor, the first three or four rows.\u00a0 What we didn't know was that we had sat right in the middle of the teenager section.\u00a0 It's where the teens had all sat traditionally in this church, and here was our family plopped down right in the middle of the teen section.\u00a0 I did look around and think, \"Gee, a lot of young people sitting around here,\" but I also became immediately aware of a challenge that was going to be presented to our family, and that was that this church had a teen section where traditionally the kids, as teenagers, all sat.\u00a0 And the challenge was going to be this \u2013 we wanted our teenagers sitting with us, not in the teen section.\u00a0 And we did face that a few years later when one of our children got to be a teenager and wanted to know if this particular child could go sit with the other teenagers.\u00a0 And we said, \"Invite the other teenagers to come sit with us, if you'd like, but you sit with Mom and Dad.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It sounds like you've been talking to Barbara.\u00a0 This is one of the Rainey rules.\u00a0 We don't split up on Sunday morning.\u00a0 It's very, very rare when our family doesn't sit together.\u00a0 We feel like we are going to church as a family, we're going to sit as a family.\u00a0 Half of us is not going to be upstairs, the other half downstairs, and maybe a few skipping out.\u00a0 Well, we have someone here in the studio to help us today, and she is here to help you raise the next generation of worshipers.\u00a0 Her name is Robbie Castleman, and, Robbie, I want to thank you for your work and your book, \"Parenting in the Pew.\"\u00a0 This is an outstanding resource for parents who want to raise children who know how to worship God.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0It's great to be here, and I can amen what you just said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0The whole deal about teenagers?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You wouldn't let your boys sit with the teenage section at church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Bob, I think you just were echoing \u2013 since I guess I am a little older or younger, I don't know, anyway, but I said exactly the same line.\u00a0 \"No, sorry, your friends can sit with us, but we're going to be together as a family.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And did they push on that every once in a while?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Of course, they're teenagers, certainly.\u00a0 They know the rules, and the rules don't bend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You had two sons of your own.\u00a0 Your husband is a pastor in the Siloam Springs, Arkansas area.\u00a0 That's up in the northern westernmost part of the state of Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah, you can't go much farther west than that and still be in Arkansas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You're going to be in Oklahoma if you go any farther than that.\u00a0 We talked yesterday about an age-appropriate approach to worship, and although we touched on all age groups, we primarily focused on children who were four years of age, maybe five.\u00a0 What's the next segment or age break that a family needs to look to and how do you capture that age for the next things you want to teach your children about worshiping and experiencing God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Early elementary children are excited about learning.\u00a0 Most children, up until fourth grade, adore their teachers.\u00a0 They are excited to be in school, they love to learn, home-school kids are really teachable at that time \u2013 just the whole variety.\u00a0 So early elementary is a nice little training stage because they are learning to read, their eyes are a little bit more coordinated in terms of following some things.\u00a0 They like to sound some things out \u2013 so to just constantly draw that child's attention to different parts of the service.\u00a0 This is a time, in early elementary school, where imagination of children really comes into play and can be very helpful in training children to listen and also in their musical development.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In the book I talk about helping children listen to choral music, choirs, and then just played music at that age and how \u2013 they're still kids, you still need to work hard to relate it to them but, say, during the prelude to a worship service, that's an instrumentalist or the organist and\/or the pianists are playing, I would ask my kids in church if this was the background music to a video of a Bible story, what story would it be?\u00a0 And children would learn, \"This is the story about Jesus on the boat and the big catch of fish,\" or this, that, and the other thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And so it's a training in paying attention.\u00a0 It's a training in drawing constantly being creative and how to draw your children to what's really going on \u2013 the refrain that you do hear from a lot of parents, toddlers through teens, is \"Well, there's just nothing for the kids to do.\"\u00a0 Yes, there is.\u00a0 It's called \"worship.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And worship is made of music, it's made of the preaching of the Word, it's made of the sacraments, it's made of community, but there is also a component of worship, I think, that parents miss, and that's giving, or tithing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Of entering into the financial blessing of God from what He's given.\u00a0 When have you started teaching your boys about tithing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0From the get-go, and you make it exciting and interesting.\u00a0 When the boys were toddlers, we used \u2013 in our church the tradition is \u2013 but you can just use plain envelopes if your church doesn't use \"church\" envelopes that are numbered and all that kind of stuff \u2013 but every child in a family should have their own little box of envelopes, whether they're from the local store or from your church, and you teach them how to tithe.\u00a0 And, of course, things were cheaper when my boys were younger, so they would get a nickel and five pennies for putting the toys back in their toy box at the end of every day when they were four years old, and then it just grew from there, both in responsibilities and cost, but we taught them this is what 10 percent is and that you always start with 10 percent and then give to the Lord's work from there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, you know what little kids do \u2013 you show them the five pennies and the big nickel, and you show them their envelope when they're four years old, they get to put their tithe in, which is one penny out of a whole dime.\u00a0 But what do children want to do?\u00a0 What did my boys want to do?\u00a0 What did so many children that we've started this \u2013 \"Can I give Jesus my nickel?\"\u00a0 \"You want to give Jesus the nickel, too?\u00a0 Oh, put that in the envelope.\u00a0 He will be so excited.\"\u00a0 And then you lick the envelope, which is a lavish production with four-year-olds, and then they color it, and they put their name on it, and what happens then?\u00a0 You are in the middle of the worship service, the time for the offering comes along, that child is trembling sometimes with joy because they are actually giving \u2013 and not just their dad's spare change that they've dug out of his pocket or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I think what I've hoped, and what I am seeing, in fact, in my children's lives, is the desire to be generous and joyful givers.\u00a0 Very often, when we train children, we don't mean to, but we don't think about it.\u00a0 When we train children to give God spare change, we, in fact, end up with a generation of adults who essentially give God their spare change and lose out on the joy of giving.\u00a0 And, of course, you go right up through the teenage years \u2013 my kids, you know, once they didn't want to color envelopes and do all that kind of stuff, they still had to tithe their jobs, they still had to \u2013 you know, this, that, and the other thing \u2013 they knew that this was a way of honoring and loving the Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0It gets hard when you want that pair of tennis shoes, and it becomes sacrificial, and they would cheat, we all would cheat, but there would be some kind of dissatisfaction in that that they would learn from.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0So you would \u2013 shall I use the word \"force\" them to tithe?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Well, when they're little, it's a habit that you have a lot of authority in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Oh, I'm not talking about when they're little.\u00a0 I'm talking when they're teens, there comes a time where you go, \"You know what?\u00a0 You need to tithe.\u00a0 You need to give 10 percent here.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0And you know how much it is, and if they said, \"Well, I'm going to make it up,\" there comes a time in that passing of the baton where you trust them with that, and then you pray like crazy that they learn from that.\u00a0 And they do eventually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, this has been a battle at our house, too.\u00a0 It doesn't start out to be a battle.\u00a0 It starts out to be just a fun kind of a great thing for young children to do, to be givers.\u00a0 In fact, I was just talking with my daughter, Laura, last night, who has done quite well recently in terms of a job and kind of raked in some cash and was going down to buy a CD player for her car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Whoa.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0 And I turned to her and said, \"Now, you have been giving, haven't you?\"\u00a0 And the reason I had to ask is, as Robbie just said, Bob, there is a time in teenagers' lives, around 16, 17, 18, where you have to finish passing the baton, and it has to become their decision, and if you keep making them, you're making a tactical error.\u00a0 And Laura turned to me and said, \"Yeah, in fact, just last week, Dad, I just gave \"X,\" and she talked about how she'd given and how she was looking forward to making an even more generous gift out of this paycheck, where she had kind of raked in the loot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Robbie, what about the 16-year-olds who are now bigger than you, and they just don't want to go church.\u00a0 They're working until 11:00 on Saturday night, closing up at the Pizza Hut, and they're tired, and they just want one morning when they can sleep in, and church is boring, anyway, and they just don't want to go and aren't they old enough to make up their own minds about that stuff?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0And that's real life in a lot of homes.\u00a0 What was interesting about Dennis's last comment applies to this one; that it was perfectly appropriate for Dennis to allow her to make her giving decisions.\u00a0 It was also perfectly appropriate for Dennis, as a parent, to ask her the question \u2013 to say, \"Are you giving\" \u2013 to be the reminder, to continue to parent his increasingly adult child.\u00a0 And it was a nice conversation because she does do that.\u00a0 Too bad I don't have another son to marry her off to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But he's not ceasing to be a parent just because she's taking on some of her own decision-making.\u00a0 And that's a fine line.\u00a0 Sometimes it's finer than other times in terms of learning to parent adult children.\u00a0 In this situation, that's what you have to do, and you have to weather the consequences of that.\u00a0 \"Son, if you're too tired on a Sunday morning because you're closing up the Pizza Hut on Saturday night, it's going to be the Pizza Hut that goes and not our commitment to the Lord as a family.\u00a0 Now, we'll help you find another job or another shift or another thing that can lend itself to the greater priority of our life as a family.\u00a0 We'll help you do that.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I like the way you said that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0\"But this is the way it will be.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\"The greater priority of our family.\"\u00a0 I think a lot of families end up circling the wagons around the needs of a teenager instead of the greater priority and the values of that family.\u00a0 And, in this case, you're saying worshiping together is a higher priority \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0They don't have to like it.\u00a0 They can sulk and make your life miserable for an extended length of time, but you are the parent \u2013 parent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Can I step on the soapbox here for just a minute?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It's all yours, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I hear, more and more, of parents who \u2013 it's not the Pizza Hut closing at 11:00 on Saturday night, it's the youth soccer games that are taking place at 9:30 on Sunday morning, or the swim meets that are taking place at that time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Or the job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0 And, all of a sudden, the parents are saying, \"Well, I have a child who is particularly gifted, and this could be scholarship material, you know, this could get us into college and get us at a good school, and it's for a season, you know, and we still have family worship while we're at the tennis match.\u00a0 We go, and before we play\" \u2013 you know, I can understand that in an isolated particular Sunday where there is a state tournament that you've got to go.\u00a0 I'm not saying that we've got to be like Eric Little and say \"no competition on Sunday.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0We've weathered that with our little boy, when he was six years old.\u00a0 He was quite a good little ball player.\u00a0 In South Louisiana, if you didn't play T-ball you were serious from the get-go.\u00a0 And they hit pitch ball at six years of age, and he was quite good.\u00a0 He was a starter on the team and all that kind of good stuff, and it came around to be tournament time, and, sure enough, the first game that we were to play in was 11:00 on a Sunday morning, and we talked it over with Scott and said, \"You'll miss the game.\u00a0 This is how it is.\"\u00a0 We talked to the coach, and it was rather disheartening for us, as parents, to realize he missed the first game of the tournament, went to the park after to play the second game and on and on, but did not start after that; was treated very differently both by the coach and some of the parents because the team didn't do as well without Scott.\u00a0 It was painful for us to watch, as parents, for a six-year-old to have to be ostracized for being faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But we talked it over with Scott, and we said, \"Scott, does this hurt?\u00a0 How are you feeling?\"\u00a0 And he says, \"It's not much fun, Mama, but I think Jesus is proud of me.\"\u00a0 And after I quit crying, I said, \"Yeah, I think so, and, at the same time, you need to love your coach, you need to be positive.\u00a0 If you don't get to start again, and you don't get to play as many innings, you need to continue to do your best, because welcome to the Christian life.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And if he began to learn that as a six-year-old maybe that's why, as a 26-year-old, he's going into ministry \u2013 because he's willing to pay the price for being faithful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that did happen at this same little church, and we were about two-and-a-half blocks from the ballpark, was when our kids had a noontime game or a right-after-church game just during the regular season, our kids wore their uniforms to church, to worship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Their uniforms?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Yeah, they wore their little ball uniforms so that right after church we could scoot to the park and eat our hot dog and let the kids play on Sunday afternoon.\u00a0 It got to be so funny in our congregation that on any given Sunday morning during ball season, it was \u2013 the pews were just filled with all the team colors, because all the kids started wearing \u2013 but fewer and fewer kids quit \u2013 \"Well, we're not going to go this morning because, you know, we've got the game starts at\" blah, blah blah, and so \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0They were there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Yeah, yeah, parents began to be more consistent in their commitment to come because their kids could wear their uniform.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You're touching on a subject, and I know you raised two boys.\u00a0 In fact, I think I\u2019m going to take issue with something you wrote in your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You said this \u2013 \"I never wanted what my children wore to compete for their attention in preparing to encounter God in worship.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0What they wore to church, you're talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0That's right.\u00a0 \"We allowed them to dress as they liked as long as it was ready to be worn by Saturday evening.\"\u00a0 You're talking about preparing, getting ready for church.\u00a0 Now, were you talking about the teenage years?\u00a0 Are you talking about elementary age children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Yeah, and I had two \u2013 oh \u2013 no \u2013 the whole \u2013 like, if they had a favorite pair of pants.\u00a0 There was one season of my older son's life \u2013 he had these pants called \"chicken pants,\" and this was during elementary years, and they had little chickens on them.\u00a0 They were the ugliest pair of pants, probably got them at a garage sale \u2013 he loved his chicken pants.\u00a0 He called them his \"chicken pants.\"\u00a0 They were his favorite pair of pants, and, I mean, every Sunday he wore his chicken pants because they were his favorite, therefore Jesus would love them, too.\u00a0 And because it grew out of his expression of his \u2013 Jesus knows me in my chicken pants, you know, and he loves this.\u00a0 And then this was the one son who never had any kind of idea of sartorial splendor.\u00a0 He would wear anything, anywhere, anytime \u2013 still does.\u00a0 He's still the slob of the family in many ways, and you know who you are out there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then my other son, who has also repented the other way, of his clothes idolatry, at times, he always dressed to the nines.\u00a0\u00a0 But for both of them, there was an expression of \u2013 this is what I find pleasure in, and I want to please the Lord.\u00a0 It did, for the most part, grow out of their affection for the Lord to be real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Now, if they'd wanted to wear their swimsuit to church, you might have drawn a line there, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Right, yeah, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I mean, there was some appropriateness.\u00a0 You're just saying it wasn't going to be around fashion that you were going to draw the line.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Right, and it helped that you could never afford a suit, anyway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Well, the reason I want to take issue is you raised two boys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Yes, yes, I did.\u00a0 They're cheaper.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0There are some teenage girls right now who are listening to the broadcast say, \"Well, I have my outfits that I just think \u2013 they're my joy, too.\"\u00a0 And there are also some teenage boy's joy, too, looking at these girls and what they're wearing, or should I say not wearing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Those outfits probably aren't appropriate at church or anywhere else, that's the point, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0It is, and that's why I wanted Robbie to comment on it, because to say that you allow them to dress as they liked has its limits.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0That's right, and I absolutely agree with Bob, that I might have only raised boys, but they dated girls, and the young women that my boys did marry had the kind of parents that raised these girls that if it's not appropriate before the Lord, it's probably not appropriate anywhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0But it is important to think about who we are before the Lord, and how we do relate to a congregation and to not be distracting.\u00a0 This conversation is important for a lot of things.\u00a0 It really gets at the heart of what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians about how we're to dress when we prophecy before the church.\u00a0 We are to dress in a way, whether we're men or women, that is simply not distracting to the Word that's being spoken.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And, therefore, that's the rule of thumb \u2013 that we're not distracting to the Lord or to other people \u2013 to the Lord in a way that we're taking away His pleasure in our lives so that if it's in my daughter's closet, it's going to also be appropriate to who she is as a young woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0You don't still have the chicken pants, do you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0They are in \u2013 I think I kept them, because they were so dear.\u00a0 They're in my little cedar chest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0We could probably put a picture of them on the website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0I'm thinking eBay.\u00a0 You might be able to get some money for those chicken pants on eBay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0I'm not sure I kept them, but those chicken pants were famous for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0I've got some friends at Chik-fil-A that might buy them from you.\u00a0 You know, the thing that I want to underscore here about clothing is the time to have the discussion about what you wear to church is not at 8:30, quarter to 9, on Sunday morning.\u00a0 You need to have some family times a long ways away from Sunday, where the battle isn't raging, it's not about what they have on or what they're suggesting they wear, but instead a discussion about what is worship \u2013 back to the theme of this book, \"Parenting in the Pew.\"\u00a0 It's calling them back to focus on God and not be a distraction to other people, not to be caught up in having everybody look at them, but to be pointing our children to experiencing God and, Robbie, you've done a great job on this, and I want to thank you for being on FamilyLife Today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobbie:\u00a0Oh, thanks for having me.\u00a0 It's been a joy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0And we hope that there are going to be a lot of listeners who will get a copy of your book and not just get a copy of it but will read, and that it will make a difference in how your family worships together in church on Sunday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0You know, on more than one occasion, our listeners have heard me say that when it comes to the area with our young people with sex, we've challenged them to the wrong objective.\u00a0 We should be challenging them to innocence and purity, not just virginity, and I think Robbie's book, in a very similar sense, is a challenge to us, as parents, not just to take our children to church but to raise the standard to teaching our children how to worship, which is a higher, more noble goal than just going and attending a church service on Sunday morning between 11 and 12.\u00a0 It's all about experiencing and worshipping the Almighty God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Again, the title of the book is \"Parenting in the Pew,\" and you'll find it in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Go to our website, FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 There is more information available there about the book.\u00a0 You can order online, if you'd like, or you can call 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 We can have someone on our team make sure you get a copy of this book.\u00a0 Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY, the website is FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Stop by and get more information or order a copy of Robbie Castleman's book, \"Parenting in the Pew.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Dennis, this month we are hoping that some of our listeners will consider stepping forward and becoming new Legacy Partners here with the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 A Legacy Partners is somebody who, each month, helps provide some of the financial support necessary to keep our program on the air in this community and in communities all across the country.\u00a0 In the last couple of days, we've heard from a lot of listeners who have decided to do just that, and we're excited about that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe try to stay in touch with our Legacy Partners each month and offer them practical bible help for their marriages and their families \u2013 some unique resources that often are available only for Legacy Partners.\u00a0 If you'd like to find out more about becoming a Legacy Partner, go to our website, FamilyLife.com, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and say \"I want to know what it takes to be a Legacy Partners.\"\u00a0 We'd love to have you on the team.\u00a0 Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we hope you'll consider calling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, we hope you have a great weekend, and I hope you can be back with us on Monday when we're going to meet a remarkable couple with a powerful story to tell.\u00a0 Alan and Leslie Chambers talk about Alan's past involvement in homosexuality and about their marriage today and how God is working in both of their lives.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t_______________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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