{"id":300666,"date":"2004-07-16T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2004-07-16T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/reaching-out-to-singles\/"},"modified":"2024-12-06T19:57:26","modified_gmt":"2024-12-07T00:57:26","slug":"reaching-out-to-singles","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reaching-out-to-singles\/","title":{"rendered":"Reaching Out to Singles"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Today on the broadcast, find out how to reach out to singles in your church by listening to Wendy Widder, author of A Match Made in Heaven. Joining her are various guests.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Find out how to reach out to singles in your church by listening to Wendy Widder<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2004-07-16.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.42M","filesize_raw":"11973533","date_recorded":"2004-07-16 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2867],"tags":[4737,4369,2926],"podcast_series":[7319],"cwp_profile":[8901],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300666","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-involvement","tag-being-single","tag-church","tag-singles","podcast_series-a-match-made-in-heaven","cwp_profile-wendy-widder","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300666\/reaching-out-to-singles","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300666\/reaching-out-to-singles","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"IgeCjcovr2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reaching-out-to-singles\/\">Reaching Out to Singles<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/reaching-out-to-singles\/embed\/#?secret=IgeCjcovr2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Reaching Out to Singles&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"IgeCjcovr2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Find out how to reach out to singles in your church by listening to Wendy Widder","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2004-07-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>Wendy:\u00a0I have an older woman who came up to me one day, and she said, \"Well, Wendy, I just want you to know that I'm praying for a man for you.\"\u00a0 And I smiled and nodded and thanked her, and she smiled and nodded back, and as she turned to go, she grabbed my arm, and she said, \"You're just too good to waste.\"\u00a0 And I know she didn't mean it the way it sounded, but I thought, \"I'm too good to waste?\u00a0 All the things that I've done to this point have been a waste?\"<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, July 16th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll find out some of the things not to say and some of the things to say to singles in your church today.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I have a question to ask our guest today.\u00a0 Can I kind of just jump in and ask the first question?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Sure.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Our guest is Wendy Widder.\u00a0 We're talking this week about churches and singles and how it all fits together, and I'm thinking back to when I had just graduated from college, and \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0\u2026 back to when you were single \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0\u2026 I was single and, in fact, I'd just broken up with the girl I'd dated throughout college.\u00a0 And I was in a small church.\u00a0 There were, maybe, I don't know, 125 people coming to the church at that time.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Were you lonely?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Yeah, I was kind of lonely.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You'd broken up with your girlfriend.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I'd broken up with my girlfriend.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Your heart was broken?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I lost some weight during that time and would \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0\u2026 were you depressed?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I didn't want to go home in the evenings.\u00a0 Yeah, I wasn't doing very well.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0So were you wandering the streets?\u00a0 What were you doing?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Now, wait, I've got a question for Wendy.\u00a0 Can we just leave me out of this and get into \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0\u2026 go right ahead.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Okay, thank you very much.\u00a0 So, anyway, Wendy \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0\u2026 hi \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0\u2026 welcome to FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 So here I was in this situation, and I remember that summer thinking, \"I wonder if I need to go to another church?\"\u00a0 And I wasn't in college anymore.\u00a0 In my work environment, I didn't know many single people and the church there were maybe three or four, and I knew them, and I wasn't going to marry any of them.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Why stay?<\/p>\n<p>[laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Just kidding.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Okay, all right, you've made a good point.\u00a0 Obviously, we have a studio audience full of singles here, too.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Who are enjoying that statement, you bet.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0But, realistically, I was thinking, \"Where will I meet anybody?\u00a0 If not at church, where?\u00a0 And if there's no one at church, shouldn't I be going somewhere where I can find somebody who I might be compatible with?\"<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0You're asking someone who is still single to answer that question.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I'm going to the wrong person, is that what you're saying?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I don't know, maybe [inaudible].<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0There was no online dating service at the time for me to go to, so I wasn't sure what to do.\u00a0 Do you think I should have stayed at the church or left the church?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Well, I think it depends upon how lonely you were.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, I wasn't finding anybody at Arby's.\u00a0 I was going to Arby's in the evening, and I wasn't finding \u2013 I wasn't meeting anybody there.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I guess I'd ask what was your reason for going to church?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Oh, now she's pulling out the darts, you know?\u00a0 Stinging me a little bit now.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0She is getting personal.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, that's true, and maybe that's the point, huh?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0It is.\u00a0 You know, I do think what Wendy has just said here is we go to church for a lot of reasons.\u00a0 Married people, single people, single who are divorced, single parents who are attempting to raise the next generation, those singles who have just come out of college.\u00a0 And I don't think it's a wrong motive to be at church because you want to be around other men and women who are followers of Christ.\u00a0 I think that's the right stuff.\u00a0 In fact, Wendy Widder has written a book called \"A Match Made in Heaven,\" and part of the reason why you wrote this book was to really exhort and encourage singles as well as the community of faith to better understand one another.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, one of the illustrations you used was that of a quarry that you used to go swimming in.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0A beautiful place in Wisconsin.\u00a0 It's called Lannon [sp] Quarry.\u00a0 It's not called that anymore, they renamed it in the trend of changing names, I guess.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0It was a swimming hole.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0It was a swimming hole, and it was fairly small, although when I was little I didn't think it was small.\u00a0 I thought it was huge, and I couldn't imagine anybody swimming anywhere better.\u00a0 After all, my family went there.\u00a0 How could anything else be better?\u00a0 And it was wonderful.\u00a0 I didn't think there was anything bigger or better.\u00a0 And then when I was in high school \u2013 well \u2013 that's an overstatement, of course, I knew there were things bigger and better \u2013 we do live near Lake Michigan, which, of course, is bigger than Lannon Quarry, but when I was in high school we took our senior trip out East, and we went to the beach, and I saw the ocean for the first time and was overwhelmed by how huge it was.<\/p>\n<p>And my purpose in using that illustration was that sometimes I think we assume, because we've all been single at some point, and we're all part of the church, that we understand everything there is to know about singleness and the church.\u00a0 And I would suggest we don't \u2013 that there are oceans of things to be discovered about singles and about the church that we need to take the time to discover.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0You asked me that pointed question \u2013 what was I going to church for, and that's a fair question to ask, but I need to ask you the question about singles that you observe today in the culture.\u00a0 Do you think there are a lot of singles who are going to church for other than spiritual motivations?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I think there are a lot of people going to church for other than spiritual motivations.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0That's a good answer.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Singles are some of them, and it's not wrong to go to church and hope that you're in a place where you can meet someone to marry.\u00a0 What a wonderful place to meet someone to marry.\u00a0 But if that's my primary reason for going to church, then I don't really understand what the church is.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0So what would you say is the proper motivation and what ought to be our heart's desire as we attend church?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I believe we come together as a community of faith every week to worship God together and to encourage and love one another and to better learn how we can reach out to our community.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0And so we're there, together, as a community because we can better engage Him in a relationship with other believers who are like-minded.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Yes, and we can only truly grow spiritually as we are growing together in a community.\u00a0 God made us community creatures.\u00a0 He made us to be in relationship with each other, and it was sin that separated us from one another and from God, and it is redemption that brings us back to that relationship with each other.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Okay, I'm going to turn to our guests who are in the audience and ask you a pointed question.\u00a0 Why do you go to church?<\/p>\n<p>Unidentified Speaker:\u00a0 For me, it's twofold.\u00a0 I think, one, I am a follower of Christ and, in obedience, we are called, as believers, as Christians, to be a part of the body of Christ, the church.\u00a0 So on one hand, it's obedience; on the other hand, as a Christ follower, I am wanting to connect with God, and I believe that is a place to connect with God and connect with others and to feel the love of others and the love of God at the same time.\u00a0 And also a place \u2013 a vehicle in which to serve.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Okay, someone else?\u00a0 Be honest.<\/p>\n<p>Unidentified Speaker:\u00a0 Well, if I were to answer that question quite honestly, I think, a lot of times, to be around people.\u00a0 As a single, I'm not married, I don't have a family, and so an easy way to fellowship with other people is to go to church.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Does it meet that need?<\/p>\n<p>Unidentified Speaker:\u00a0 On the whole, it does.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Yeah?\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Chrissie [sp]?<\/p>\n<p>Unidentified Speaker:\u00a0 I go to be with other people, but what initiates it is just a desire to fellowship with other \u2013 well \u2013 to fellowship with other believers; to worship God together.\u00a0 There is just something about being, for instance, in the Worship Center, singing praises together and reading Scripture together.\u00a0 There is just something about that that just binds me closer to God, and it warms my heart to other people.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You know, I think just the question is a really good question.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0It's a healthy one, isn't it?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Just \u2013 for anybody to ask.\u00a0 Why are you there?\u00a0 Because your mommy and daddy took you for 20 straight years?\u00a0 And you knew your lunch ticket could only be punched if you went to church with your parents?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, nobody here said, \"I'm going to church because it's a better place to meet a quality single person of the opposite sex \u2013 better than a bar.\"\u00a0 Now, nobody said that.<\/p>\n<p>Unidentified Speaker:\u00a0 It is better than a bar.<\/p>\n<p>[laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Just making sure here, just making sure.\u00a0 Wendy, there are people going to church for that reason.\u00a0 I mean, I'm thinking back to when I was broken up with my girlfriend and going, \"Where am I going to meet somebody?\"\u00a0 You know, aren't there people who are going, \"I'm going there because I want to meet somebody?\"<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Yes, there are lots of them and, like I said, I don't think that's a bad reason, as long as it's not at the top of the list.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0There are some singles groups that get this reputation in the community, you know?\u00a0 It's like the evangelical night spot.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0It's a meet market.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Yeah, it's a meet market.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Hold it, hold it \u2013 the meet market?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0You've never heard that expression for the singles group?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Yes.<\/p>\n<p>[laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I was going to say, \"Where you been?\"<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I haven't been off in the boonies, but that's an awfully crass term \u2013 the meat market.\u00a0 Why do you think it's called that?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Because people go there to meet each other, and they're checking each other out.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I think the issue is, at some singles groups, it feels like the only reason some people are there \u2013 week in and week out \u2013 is to try to find somebody to spend some time with one-on-one, somebody of the opposite sex.\u00a0 The fact that it's a spiritual environment just means maybe it's a little safer or maybe it's a little more na\u00efve, frankly, and so, hey, let's just go there, because it's a good place to meet girls; it's a good place to meet guys.<\/p>\n<p>As you'd look at that, Wendy, would you say that's the dominant theme of singles groups in America today or a subset of singles groups?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I think it's a sub-theme in singles groups.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Okay.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0But has strong currents.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Well, yes, because, as Jared said, we're single, and we are looking, most of us \u2013 hopefully, not stalking but looking.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I want to ask how prevalent is moral purity in singles groups today?\u00a0 Because there's been a lot of research done of youth groups, and we know that the average Christian youth group \u2013 their morals are virtually no different than their secular counterparts in the junior high and high schools of America.\u00a0 Tell us what's going on morally in the singles groups across the country and the church?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I'm not authoritative on this matter, so I'm not sure, but I would suspect that the youth group kids who grew up and became singles didn't change their morals overnight, and that some of those things \u2013 a lot of the things are still there.\u00a0 A lot of singles don't see anything wrong with premarital sex.\u00a0 They don't see anything wrong with undue affection; lots of physical contact; and I think the youth group kids grew up.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I think, too often, the church, instead of being the salt and light in the culture, has dropped its guard and, just as Wendy said, why would their morality have changed if it wasn't that different when they were in high school?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Let me kind of change directions here for a second \u2013 we've talked this week about what singles can do to make the church a better place for them.\u00a0 Help us, who are not single, know what we can do.\u00a0 What are some of the things that married couples have done, families have done, to make the church a better place for you?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I appreciate that couples and families who become my friends, and they aren't trying to matchmake me.\u00a0 I don't mind if people introduce me to others who are nice and they think might be a good match, but they don't tell me, so it's a covert operation.\u00a0 That's good.\u00a0 But when I'm not approached as if I'm their project or as if they'll be happier with me as a friend if I'm married, so let's try to fix this for Wendy.\u00a0 I like to be treated just as a person, as a normal functioning person who can contribute to their family.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You've said in your book that you encourage families to not wear shoes; instead, wear a single person's shoes.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Yes, I said that in the context of things that people say to singles.\u00a0 Questions that they ask or comments that they make, like, \"God has someone wonderful for you.\"\u00a0 That's meant to be encouraging, but the Bible doesn't promise me that and so don't promise me that.\u00a0 If God doesn't, don't make promises God doesn't make.\u00a0 And my comment about wearing singles' shoes is to really think before you speak and think about how your comment is going to be interpreted.<\/p>\n<p>For example, if you ask a single person \u2013 \"So, are you dating anyone?\"\u00a0 And their answer has to be, \"No,\" well, then, where does your conversation go from there?\u00a0 You've pretty much backed them into a corner, and it becomes really uncomfortable.\u00a0 So hear your questions and your comments before you say them.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0So engage them, not around their status in terms of being a married person or a person in pursuit of marriage.\u00a0 Instead, engage them around life goals, like their mission, their career, their giftedness and spiritual gifts that they're using and engaging in the church?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0It's difficult for married people who haven't been single for a while to know how to talk to single people, and you can't just go up to single people in your church and say, \"So, tell me what it's like to be single.\"\u00a0 They'll run the other way.\u00a0 You really have to be their friend before you have the right to ask those kinds of questions.\u00a0 And the way you become friends with singles is the way you become friends with anybody else \u2013 you spend time with them.\u00a0 You have them in your home, or you do a group activity or something \u2013 you spend time getting to know them as a person so you know what to talk about, you know what they do for a living, you know what their interests and hobbies are.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Do you feel like most people at church pity you for being single?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0I don't know if I'd say most people, but I know they may not say that, but they would think it.\u00a0 I had a dear, dear friend of mine, an older woman who came up to me one day, and she was asking me some questions about a project I was on, and I was smiling and nodding and shaking her hand and talking to the people passing by in the hall, waving in church, and she said, \"Well, Wendy, I just want you to know that I'm praying for a man for you.\"\u00a0 And I smiled and nodded and thanked her.\u00a0 I don't mind when people tell me that, but I know that she's a happily married woman, and she was wishing the same for me.\u00a0 And so I said, \"Well, thank you, I appreciate that, but I want you to know that if God doesn't have that for me, I'll be okay.\"\u00a0 And she smiled and nodded back, and as she turned to go, she grabbed my arm, and she said, \"You're just too good to waste.\"\u00a0 And I know she didn't mean it the way it sounded, but I've heard a lot of those kinds of comments, and I can usually stomach them, but that one just made my eyes smart, and I thought, \"I'm too good to waste?\u00a0 All the things that I've done to this point have been a waste because I'm not married?\"<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Yeah, and, like, the only people who can have an impact for the kingdom of God are married people?<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0She did not mean that.\u00a0 She would be horrified if she knew that's how it sounded.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0No, but I do think there is a \u2013 well, it's an inaccurate theology of singles, where we don't have the high view of the single life that Paul talked about, where they are freer to serve Christ to make a greater impact than those of us who are married.\u00a0 If we really believe that, we would not always be trying to set our single friends up with a date.\u00a0 We'd be trying to figure out how to help them be even more effective in God's work here on this planet.\u00a0 And I just think, Bob, of some of the great singles we've interviewed here on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Elisabeth Elliott was single for a number of years in her life and was used mightily by God because she had this kind of view of being single.\u00a0 She was content, and she was all about being used up for the kingdom.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0And I've always remembered the comment that Tommy Nelson, I heard him make, and I don't know if it was original with him, but he said, \"If you're single, run as hard and as fast toward Jesus as you can, and if you see somebody running in the same direction out of the corner of your eye, take a second look.\"\u00a0 And he was really saying your focus ought to be on Kingdom service not on where you are relationally, because that's what God's got you here for.\u00a0 He doesn't have you here to have you single or have you married.\u00a0 He's got you here to have you serving Him, and He's going to use you in whatever state you are in, whether it's single or married.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Definitely.\u00a0 When Paul talks about singleness being better in some circumstances, he's, of course, not demeaning marriage in any way, but we do have a certain freedom in certain areas that is a gift that we bring to the body and to the church and how, as single people, do we steward that gift?\u00a0 How do we make the body a better place because we're there?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Are there some ways you think \u2013 I heard you say, \"If I'm single for the rest of my life, that's okay.\"\u00a0 But okay \u2013 who wants okay, right?\u00a0 Have you ever thought to yourself, you know, \"If I'm single for the rest of my life, that could be pretty great.\"<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0That's what I believe, it's not what I always feel, and I don't have to live my whole life today.\u00a0 I get to live today, and today is great, and tomorrow it can be great, and the next day can be great, and, before long, I will have lived a lifetime, and it will have been great.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0And the way to live a great life is the way the writer of Hebrews said, speaking of running in a direction, Bob, and perhaps gazing at the finish line but occasionally glancing over your shoulder to see who is running with you \u2013 the writer of Hebrews in chapter 12, verse 1 and 2, says, \"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every encumbrance and ascend which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I have to believe, for both single and married alike, but since we're speaking directly to singles, the picture of Jesus setting before Himself the path toward the cross and then enduring it has some fresh meaning today, and some fresh motivation for laying aside the sin, which so easily entangles us.\u00a0 And I don't know what entangles you, but I just want to challenge you, if God's been showing you want that sin is, what those encumbrances are that are keeping you from running as a single person or, for that matter, as a married person.\u00a0 Lay them aside, strip them off, and run as fast as you can toward the finish line of Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0You know, some of our married listeners really have a heart for the singles they know in their church.\u00a0 Maybe they've never been able to connect well, maybe they haven't known what to do or how to do it, but they just think for themselves, \"Gee, I'd like to see these singles enjoy being a part of the community of faith,\" and I want to encourage those listeners to get a copy of Wendy's book.\u00a0 I think, too often, we'll think, \"Well, this is a book for singles.\"\u00a0 I think it's a book for all of us \u2013 a book that all of us can grow from and learn from, and it can make the body of Christ what Christ wants it to be if we'll all dig in and participate and have some singles over for dinner this Sunday, right?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Good idea.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0We have copies of Wendy's book available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 It's called \"A Match Made in Heaven,\" and if it's going to be a heavenly match, it means we have to be a part of that.\u00a0 So call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and request a copy of Wendy's book.<\/p>\n<p>We also have a book that you've written for singles called \"Living Whole Without a Better Half,\" and any of our listeners who would like to call and order both books, we'll send along, at no additional cost, the CD or the cassette that features the audio from these interviews.\u00a0 You can get more information when you contact us at 1-800-FLTODAY or when you go online at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can order from our website, or you can call us \u2013 again, the toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY, and our Web address is FamilyLife.com.<\/p>\n<p>You know, this is kind of the halfway point of the summer.\u00a0 We're about halfway between Memorial Day and Labor Day, and one of the things that is true for ministries like ours over the summer is that we tend not to hear from as many of you during the summer months as we do during the school year.\u00a0 And we understand folks are busy with lots going on, but we're always encouraged in the middle of the summer when we do hear from listeners who write to us and let us know how much FamilyLife Today means to them, and those of you who are able to help during the summer months with our financial needs.\u00a0 Those donations mean an awful lot to us during the time when we're not hearing from as many people as we usually do.<\/p>\n<p>If you would like to get in touch with us, you can write a letter and mail it to us.\u00a0 I'll give you our mailing address here in just a minute.\u00a0 You're always welcome to give us a call at 1-800-FLTODAY with any questions or comments that you have and, of course, you can contact us via the Web.\u00a0 Go to our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 You can make a donation online, you can make a donation over the phone at 1-800-FLTODAY, or write a note and mail it to us at FamilyLife Today, Box 71111, Little Rock, Arkansas, and the zip code is 72223.\u00a0 Again, it's FamilyLife Today at Box 71111, Little Rock, Arkansas, and the zip code is 72223.\u00a0 Dennis?<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You know, it's been a treat to have Wendy Widder with us.\u00a0 Wendy, we appreciate you and your book on how singles can engage in the local church and how we, in the community of faith, can do a better job of connecting with singles and maximizing them.\u00a0 I just appreciate your book, \"A Match Made in Heaven,\" and I hope you'll come back again and join us on FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Wendy:\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0And we want to thank our studio audience for being here with us as well.\u00a0 I hope all of you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you enjoy worshiping in church this weekend as part of the family of God, and we want to invite all of you to join us back on Monday when we're going to be joined by the wife of Josh McDowell and the wife of Dennis Rainey, who are two guys who are \u2013 well, they're known for being high-energy guys.\u00a0 We'll find out what it's like to be married to them.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you next week for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ.<\/p>\n<p>________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a 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