{"id":300638,"date":"2004-06-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2004-06-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/making-a-positive-impact\/"},"modified":"2024-12-06T19:45:01","modified_gmt":"2024-12-07T00:45:01","slug":"making-a-positive-impact","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/making-a-positive-impact\/","title":{"rendered":"Making a Positive Impact"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On today&#8217;s broadcast, author Steve Farrar talks to men about making a positive impact on their families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On today&#8217;s broadcast, author Steve Farrar talks to men about making a positive impact on their families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2004-06-17.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"3.57M","filesize_raw":"3740997","date_recorded":"2004-06-17 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837],"tags":[4727,4277],"podcast_series":[7312],"cwp_profile":[3176],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300638","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","tag-dads","tag-fathers","podcast_series-anchoring-your-family-in-christ","cwp_profile-steve-farrar","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300638\/making-a-positive-impact","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300638\/making-a-positive-impact","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"SuF6UHUSxS\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/making-a-positive-impact\/\">Making a Positive Impact<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/making-a-positive-impact\/embed\/#?secret=SuF6UHUSxS\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Making a Positive Impact&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"SuF6UHUSxS\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"On today's broadcast, author Steve Farrar talks to men about making a positive impact on their families.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2004-06-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Part of a father's job is to make sure that boundaries are clearly established in the life of a child.\u00a0 Here's Steve Farrar.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0How do you deal with foolishness in the heart of a child?\u00a0 It says, \"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of discipline will remove it far from him,\" Proverbs 22:15.\u00a0 Now, you're not going to discipline an 18-month-old child the way you do an eight-year-old, but you've got to start early.\u00a0 You have those teenage battles?\u00a0 The time to win the teenage battles is when they're two, three, and four.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, June 17th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll learn today how part of a father's job is to use discipline to train his children for godliness.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 We're here with Coach Rainey and Coach Farrar.\u00a0 We've had a couple of days of coaching tips from Coach Farrar.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0We've had several requests from some of our female listeners \u2013 \"Please do not take us back \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0\u2026 no more football \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0\u2026 to the locker room for anymore coaching tips.\"\u00a0 They appreciate the help for their husbands, but it gets a little smelly in the locker room down there where we've been for the past couple of days.\u00a0 Bob, of course, is referring to Steve Farrar who joins us here for a fourth day here on the broadcast.\u00a0 Steve, welcome back to FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0Thanks, it's great to be back with you guys.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Steve is an author of numerous books, speaks all around the country for men's groups, is the founder and chairman of the men's leadership ministries, which is based out of Bryan-College Station, Texas, and is married to his wife Mary and has three children.\u00a0 In fact, for a number of years, Steve, you spoke at our FamilyLife Marriage Conferences all around the country.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0Yeah, that's a special time in our lives, and I'll never forget, back in the early '80s, I went through a wilderness time and was in a small church.\u00a0 The average age was 70 years old, I was 30, and thought that perhaps that's where I would always be.\u00a0 I didn't feel like I was real effective, didn't think I could make that church grow, but the Lord was teaching me some character lessons.\u00a0 And I just resolved I was going to stay there.\u00a0 I wasn't going to do anything to leave.\u00a0 But I struggled a lot with hopelessness and depression.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0That was a real valley.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0It was deep.\u00a0 I had days \u2013 I had many hours of weeping.\u00a0 The people were great, they were wonderful -- it wasn't their issue, it was my issue.\u00a0 But I will never forget one day I literally had gotten up out of my chair and was walking towards the door to leave, and my secretary buzzed me, and she said, \"Do you know a guy from Arkansas named Dennis Rainey?\"\u00a0 And I went, \"Rainey, Rainey, yeah, yeah, he knows Robert Lewis,\" and I got on the phone with Dennis, and that was a call that really changed the course of our life.<\/p>\n<p>But you were calling to ask if I would be interested in joining the FamilyLife speaking team.\u00a0 God used you in my life; that opened some doors for me.\u00a0 It expanded by borders.\u00a0 But you were the guy that took a chance on somebody you didn't know from Bo Diddley, and I know now you lived to regret it.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0That's not true at all.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0The Lord used you in my life, and I appreciate you very, very much, and it's just great to be here and see how God has expanded your borders and the borders of FamilyLife ministry.\u00a0 But, you know, before God can do that in our lives, He's got to do something deep, and it usually hurts, and it usually breaks our hearts.\u00a0 The issue is obedience.\u00a0 That's what it gets down to.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, and the point of your book, \"Anchor Man\" is that every man God is using to anchor his family for a generation or two or three \u2013 for the next century.\u00a0 His obedience to Christ and his commitment to his family can set the course of a family for a century.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0That's exactly right, and I think one of the things that happens, as we talk about this, I don't want to give anyone the sense that there's a magic formula.\u00a0 None of us in this room have got it together.\u00a0 We're all totally dependent on the Lord.\u00a0 There is one master.\u00a0 The rest of us are just a bunch of average guys.\u00a0 You know, Jim Cymbala, pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle, has a great line \u2013 \"Over the years, I've learned that God is greatly attracted to weakness.\"\u00a0 And, you see, none of us like to be weak.\u00a0 And sometimes, you know, when you write books, Dennis, and when you're on the radio, people think, \"Oh, that guy's got it together.\"\u00a0 We don't have it together.\u00a0 There is great weakness in our lives.\u00a0 If there was no weakness, we wouldn't have to depend on Christ.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Yeah, the Bible says that when we are weak, he is made strong.\u00a0 It's in our weakness that God's strength is perfected, and that's where we get the consistency and the perseverance to be obedient to what God calls us to and, Steve, one of the things you talk about in your book that God does call us to, as anchormen, is the assignment to provide consistent discipline.\u00a0 And, I've got to tell you, one of the hardest things I've done, as a dad, is to be consistent in my discipline with my children.\u00a0 Because they keep asking for it day in and day out, you know what I mean?<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Disciplining is a hard chore.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Your kids ask for discipline?<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Yes, they ask for it.\u00a0 Yeah, they don't come up and say, \"Dad, will you discipline me?\"\u00a0 They ask for it by being disobedient on a regular basis.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Yeah, in fact, I love the quote that you have at the beginning of this chapter.\u00a0 The chapter is entitled \"Taming Your Barbarians.\"\u00a0 But you quote John Owen, he's a great writer.\u00a0 He said this \u2013 \"We ought as much to pray for a blessing on our daily rod as upon our daily bread.\"\u00a0 I like that.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0Yeah, that's a great line, and then you go back to Deuteronomy 6 and this idea \u2013 we talked about anchormen and leading your family for 100 years \u2013 in Deutronomy 6 he says to men \u2013 \"So that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord.\"\u00a0 The fear of the Lord is a pivotal principle that runs through the word of God.\u00a0 You cannot have a society that functions well without the fear of the Lord.\u00a0 Why is America in such deep trouble?\u00a0 Why have we lost where we used to be?\u00a0 We've lost the fear of the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>You know, the Scripture says, \"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; the fear of the Lord prolongs life.\"\u00a0 In Proverbs 14:26 it says, \"In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence.\"\u00a0 You can work your way, with a concordance, take the phrase, \"fear of the Lord\" and go through Proverbs.<\/p>\n<p>There are so many benefits that come from the fear of the Lord.\u00a0 My point in this is this \u2013 where does a child learn the fear of the Lord?\u00a0 Fathers are told to instill the fear of the Lord not only to their sons but to the next generation.\u00a0 I think, before a child will learn the fear of the Lord, they must first learn the fear of a father.\u00a0 My dad taught me to fear the Lord.\u00a0 But the way I learned the fear of the Lord was by first learning the fear of my dad.<\/p>\n<p>There are abusive fathers, and we are not talking about that.\u00a0 That has nothing to do with the fear of the Lord.\u00a0 What we are talking about is an awe; is a respect.\u00a0 Nevertheless there was a fear there, and let me give you an illustration.\u00a0 I can remember San Mateo High School, my junior year, after a football game.\u00a0 Two of my buddies pull up, they've got a trunk full of beer.\u00a0 There were three gals in the car \u2013 one that would be available for me.\u00a0 You guys know the drill.\u00a0 \"Hey, Steve, let's go.\u00a0 Come on.\"\u00a0 And you know what?\u00a0 There was something \u2013 yeah, that might be interesting.\u00a0 And I pondered it for about a nanosecond, and I said, \"Tell you what, you guys go on.\"\u00a0 And they said, \"Oh, no, come on, let's go.\"\u00a0 I said, \"No, no, you guys go.\"\u00a0 Why didn't I go with them?\u00a0 Let me tell you why.\u00a0 I knew that somehow, some way, in his omniscience, my dad would find out that I did it.\u00a0 I'm dead serious.\u00a0 And you know what?\u00a0 It just wasn't worth it.\u00a0 I was 17, but, you see, I wanted to live to be 18.<\/p>\n<p>And what I'm saying is, knowing that I'd have to face my dad kept me from doing something very, very stupid and very, very foolish.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You know what you're talking about here as you talk about the fear of the Lord, and there are a lot of things encompassed around this principle from the Bible, but it's a respect for authority, and if you don't have respect for authority, you're not going to be obedient.\u00a0 Secondly, it's submission to authority.\u00a0 It's learning how to put yourself under authority without kicking and screaming, realizing that's where life comes from.\u00a0 Third, I believe the fear of the Lord is living your life in the presence of God.\u00a0 You laughed about it, Steve, but you talked about your dad, in his omniscience, would find out.\u00a0 And, you know, God knows everything and living your life in the fear of the Lord means we practice His presence.<\/p>\n<p>And, finally, the fear of the Lord, I believe, leads us to understand that for every act there are consequences.\u00a0 They may be good consequences, they may be not-so-good consequences, but the fear of the Lord teaches, I believe, there is a payday someday for every action that we take, and as we have this as a basis for discipline, I believe it teaches our children ultimately to live their lives circumspectly.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0You know, I've just got to jump on the soapbox here for a second.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I'll get off, Bob, excuse me.\u00a0 I didn't mean to keep you off of it, Bob.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0I think you're dead-on to this, Steve.\u00a0 Mary Ann and I were walking \u2013 I'll never forget \u2013 walking down the street together in San Antonio a few years back, and I said to her, \"I'm not sure our children fear me, and I think that's probably not right.\u00a0 I think they probably should.\"\u00a0 And she looked at me like what are you talking about?\u00a0 And we had this discussion.\u00a0 But here is where it turned.\u00a0 I said, \"Our children will learn to fear and respect me when they see you, as my wife, showing them how to do that.\"<\/p>\n<p>Now, I wasn't trying to whip her into some submissive state, but I really do think this principle is profound, and I think that moms, I think that wives, need to understand that what they model for their children by talking honorably about their father and you need to be careful around your dad and be respectful of your dad, don't talk that way to your father, and then modeling it in the way they relate in front of the children to dad.\u00a0 If they're contradictory, if they're provoking their father in front of that, they're setting the kids up not to have any fear of Dad.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0You're talking about an attitude of respect that a wife conveys and that kids pick up on.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Well, you know, I was thinking back to the old movies.\u00a0 You remember the old movie where there would be a family of eight kids, and Dad was this patriarch, and Mom would say, \"Shh, Dad's coming home.\"\u00a0 And she'd be there trying to get everything right for Dad.\u00a0 Now, you could look at that and say a lot of men have abused their office, and that's one reason, I think, we've lost the fear of it.\u00a0 We've got to recapture a holy sense of that.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0And, you know, there are some guys that want that, expect it, and demand it.\u00a0 Those are the guys that don't get it.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0That's right \u2013 and don't deserve it.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0It's like \u2013 when we moved to Texas, one of my sons was on a Peewee Football League.\u00a0 The first thing this coach gets up and does and says to these kids is, \"Guys, if there's one thing I demand, it's respect.\"\u00a0 And I thought, \"This guy doesn't know leadership from the back of his head.\"\u00a0 You don't get up and demand respect, you live it.\u00a0 You live your life, and the respect is the by-product.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0I think today in many men they're trying to be pals with their kids, buddies, and in the process of being so \"their level,\" they lose that respect Bob is talking about and, as a result, their kids don't have that sense of awe that we're speaking about here for that authority.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0That's kind of a foundational issue as we've described it, but in your book you lay out some very specific, very practical, principles for discipline.\u00a0 Just coach us here, as husbands and as dads, as anchormen, what are some things that we can do that are effective ways of disciplining our children so that we do show love and respect for them, but that they show love for us.\u00a0 I think you've got 10 tips that you give in the book.\u00a0 Just share them with our listeners.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0And the 10 tips, quite frankly, came right out of Proverbs.\u00a0 Let me give you quick references here, and then I'll hit the ten, because I want you to know the biblical reasons for this.\u00a0 Proverbs 15:20 \u2013 \"A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother.\"\u00a0 He's talking about respect in the home.\u00a0 Here's another one, Proverbs 17:25 \u2013 \"A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.\"\u00a0 How do you deal with foolishness in the heart of a child?\u00a0 It says, \"A foolish son is destruction to his father\" \u2013 that's 19:13.\u00a0 I love 19:18 of Proverbs \u2013 \"Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.\"\u00a0 In 22:15 we're talking about foolishness, it defines it \u2013 Proverbs 22:15 \u2013 \"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.\"\u00a0 There are several other passages, but I came up with ten principles, and let me just give them to you.<\/p>\n<p>Number one, start early in disciplining your child.\u00a0 Anne Ortlund had a great line, and she had a title of a book called, \"Children are Wet Cement.\"\u00a0 You can't wait until the cement is dry.\u00a0 You have got to shape them while the cement is freshly poured.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Two, three, four years old \u2013 are you talking about that early?<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0Oh, yeah, and if you read \u2013 you know, James Dobson, we've all appreciated, he's written some of the best books on discipline.\u00a0 Jim talks about the fact that you start 16, 18 months.\u00a0 Now, you're not going to discipline an 18-month-old child the way you do an eight-year-old, but the principle \u2013 not letting that will get the upper hand.\u00a0 You've got to start early.\u00a0 You have those teenage battles?\u00a0 The time to win the teenage battles is when they're two, three, and four.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Yeah, if you lose them when they're two, three, and four, you'll really pay the price when they're teenagers.\u00a0 What's the second tip?<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0Use discipline for training, not humiliation or venting anger.\u00a0 This is where we have to be in control.\u00a0 We have power as parents.\u00a0 You know, God has all power, but the great thing about God is, God has power over His power.\u00a0 So when we discipline, it has to be for a specific purpose.\u00a0 We're trying to train kids, we're not trying to abuse kids.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Yes, in fact, if you find yourself losing your temper, losing control, that's the time to back off and not be involved.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0That's exactly right.\u00a0 If you can't control yourself, then don't try to control a child.\u00a0 You've got to get control of yourself first.<\/p>\n<p>A third principle \u2013 deal swiftly with disrespect.\u00a0 I can't say enough about this.\u00a0 When I went out for football my freshman year, I was five-foot-seven and weighed 135 pounds.\u00a0 Twelve months later, football rolls around, I'm six-three, I weigh 180.\u00a0 That was a year of a lot of growth.\u00a0 We'd do two-a-days.\u00a0 You ladies, you're not familiar with this, but when you start football, you practice in the morning and then you go back in the afternoon, and it's a horrendous experience.\u00a0 Your body is so sore.\u00a0 I'd come home from two-a-days, I walk in the door, and I am literally aching from head to toe.\u00a0 And I've got to go back to practice in three hours.\u00a0 I just want to get a sandwich, and I want to get prone on the floor.<\/p>\n<p>My mom says, \"Steve, I have some ladies coming over.\u00a0 I need you to sweep out the garage.\"\u00a0 Now, the first thought in my mind was, \"Are these ladies going to eat in the garage?\"\u00a0 I didn't say that, but what does that have to do with anything?\u00a0 The garage needs to be \u2013 and I said, \"Mom, you know what?\u00a0 I'm dying.\u00a0 Can I just do that later?\"\u00a0 And she said, \"I need you to do it now.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"Mom, please, I'm just aching.\"\u00a0 She said, \"Steve, do it now.\"\u00a0 And you know what? I'm six-three, I'm 180, I look down on my mom, and I said, \"You know what, Mom?\u00a0 I'm not going to do it.\u00a0 I'll catch it later.\u00a0 I'm sorry, but I don't feel good.\"\u00a0 I walk in, get my sandwich, and then I hear my dad drive up.<\/p>\n<p>My dad came in the house.\u00a0 \"Steve come over here, I want you to have a seat.\"\u00a0 We sat on the blue sofa.\u00a0 I'll never forget it as long as I live.\u00a0 My dad looked at me, and he said, \"You know, Steve, I want you to have a happy life.\"\u00a0 And I'm kind of looking at him, but he said, \"But I want you to know this.\u00a0 If you ever talk to your mother like that again, I'll pull you off that football team so fast it will make your head spin.\"\u00a0 Nobody loves football more than my dad, but there are some things that are more important than football to my dad.\u00a0 He said, \"I'll pull you off\" \u2013 and I knew he would.\u00a0 He had the credibility capital built up.\u00a0 He also said to me, he said, \"I don't talk to your mother like that.\u00a0 You will never, ever again in your life speak to her in that tone of voice.\"\u00a0 He said, \"The other thing you need to realize \u2013 this is not an issue between you and your mother.\u00a0 This is an issue between you and me.\"\u00a0 He went on another 25, 30 minutes.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0Did you go clean out the garage at that point?<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0Oh, yeah, yeah, quickly.\u00a0 My dad demanded respect for my mom.\u00a0 What's funny is, I've got two teenage sons.\u00a0 One of them grew nine inches in nine months a couple of years ago.\u00a0 We had a similar situation \u2013 kind of a smart remark.\u00a0 I dealt with it.\u00a0 We were watching it for about a week.\u00a0 I was on a trip, I'd come home, I found out the smart remark had been made again.\u00a0 I came in late, about one in the morning.\u00a0 I found about this, got him out of bed, sat down with him, I looked at him, and I said \u2013 and it was John.\u00a0 He wouldn't mind me telling this story.\u00a0 I said, \"John, you know what?\u00a0 I want you to have a happy life.\"\u00a0 And then I said to him, \"This is not \u2013 John, you need to understand something.\u00a0 If you ever talk to your mother like that again, I'll pull you off that basketball team so fast it will make your head spin.\u00a0 I don't speak to your mother in that tone of voice, and you will never, ever again speak to your mother in that tone of voice.\u00a0 The other thing, John, you need to realize \u2013 this is not an issue between you and your mother.\u00a0 This is an issue between you and me.\"\u00a0 And you know, guys, it was all I could do to keep from cracking up.\u00a0 The funny thing about this whole story is this \u2013 in 30 years, John's going to be sitting down with his son.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0Sure he is.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0And saying, \"I want you to have a happy life.\"\u00a0 You see, but what's the principle we're talking about here?\u00a0 My dad dealt swiftly with disrespect.\u00a0 This is a non-negotiable.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0And what we're hearing in all of these principles about discipline is a father who is involved \u2013 capital \"I\" \u2013 spell out the word in all capitals \u2013 INVOLVEMENT.\u00a0 Step in there and swiftly engage your child around these issues, because they need a daddy.<\/p>\n<p>Steve:\u00a0And even daughters, as they hit certain times, you know, in the early teenage years, sometimes they'll think Mom's not cool.\u00a0 Rachel is a sweetheart, she's a great kid.\u00a0 She went through a period of time that Mary could do nothing right.\u00a0 And, finally, I had to sit down with her, and I said, \"Rache, listen sweetheart, you don't see this, but I want to tell you something.\u00a0 Your mom can't do anything right in your eyes right now, and I know you love Mom, but everything she does you're critiquing, and your big deal is you don't think she's cool.\u00a0 I want to tell you something \u2013 I think Mom is cool.\u00a0 I think Mom is real cool.\u00a0 I think Mom is sharp, and in your heart you do, too.\u00a0 So you know what?\u00a0 We're just not going to do that anymore.\"\u00a0 And that's all I needed to say, and the tears started flowing, you see?\u00a0 But that's where dads step in.\u00a0 It's really an issue of protection.\u00a0 You demand respect for your wife.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0And I think you've illustrated one other thing that's profound and shouldn't be missed, and that is that when your dad set you down on the blue sofa, he wasn't just talking to you.\u00a0 He was talking to your son, John.\u00a0 He was being an anchor man.\u00a0 And not only was he talking to your son, John, but he was talking to John's son, because, you're right.\u00a0 John will someday have that whole discussion with his son, and it all happened because a dad invested.\u00a0 He was an anchor man, and that goes on for 100 years.<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0You know, in all these things we're discussing here, we're talking about dads assuming their responsibility to provide, to protect, to set a course for their families and a lot of times we think of that in terms of monetary provision, provision of homes, material provisions, but, Steve, what you've illustrated to beautifully here, as we shape the character of the next generation, is you're providing the moral basis, the moral foundation, that is going to determine the choices your sons and daughters make in the future.\u00a0 And that's what every man needs to hear in this.\u00a0 This assignment God has given us is not optional.\u00a0 You can't just decide to do it one day and then not for a week.\u00a0 You've got to hang in there, you've got to be there, and you've got to shape that child's conscience, because if you don't, the world will.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0We've also, Dennis, got to lean on the shoulders of those who have gone before us who can give us the kinds of practical tips that Steve is giving us, and in his book he talks about the need to communicate rules clearly and then enforce them the first time to make sure a child understands why he's being disciplined.\u00a0 Make the mid-course corrections, even admit when you've been wrong, how you've got to be united as a husband and wife in front of the kids, how you've got to discipline with your child's temperament and personality in mind, and make sure that the punishment fits the crime.\u00a0 All of those practical issues of discipline are helpful reminders \u2026<\/p>\n<p>Dennis:\u00a0\u2026 right here in this book.<\/p>\n<p>Bob:\u00a0That are a part of the book, \"Anchor Man.\"\u00a0 We've got the book available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 You can contact us to request a copy at 1-800-FLTODAY, go online at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Also ask about the book that you've written called \"Growing A Spiritually Strong Family.\"\u00a0 These two books together can give dads a game plan for not just how to raise your kids but how to make sure your relationship with your wife is all that God intends for it to be so that your family is anchored in Christ.\u00a0 Ask about the book, \"Anchor Man,\" and the book, \"Growing a Spiritually Strong Family.\"<\/p>\n<p>When you contact us if you order both books together, we're going to throw in something free.\u00a0 We've got the CDs or the cassettes of our visit this week with Steve Farrar.\u00a0 Ask for a copy of either one at no additional cost when you call to get the two books, \"Anchor Man,\" and \"Growing a Spiritually Strong Family.\"\u00a0 The toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 You can also order online at FamilyLife.com, and if you need any information about the resources, find it on our website.\u00a0 Again, it's FamilyLife.com or give us a call \u2013 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.<\/p>\n<p>Next time you're talking to the folks at your favorite nonprofit organization or ministry, ask them a question \u2013 ask them if in the summer donations are down from what they normally are the rest of the year.\u00a0 I would venture a guess that at most ministries like ours, during the summer months donations are off, for whatever reason.\u00a0 I don't know if it's because expenses go up in the summer for other folks, or you're paying for vacation or what, but I do know that the need continues for your favorite ministry or nonprofit organization month in and month out.\u00a0 And if you are able to help with a donation in the summertime, those donations are greatly appreciated.\u00a0 And if FamilyLife Today happens to be one of those favorites of yours, and you can help us with a donation this month, well, I know we'd appreciate it.<\/p>\n<p>You can donate online at FamilyLife.com or you can call us at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That's 1-800-358-6329 \u20131-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 You can also write a check and mail it to us if you want.\u00a0 The mailing address is Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas, and the zip code is 72223.\u00a0 Again, it's PO Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas, and the zip code is 72223.<\/p>\n<p>Well, tomorrow we're going to have Steve Farrar back with us, and we're going to talk about how the decisions you make as a dad today affect not just you or your family, but they affect people you have never seen and may never meet.\u00a0 We'll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can join us.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.<\/p>\n<p>FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas, a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ.<\/p>\n<p>________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a 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