{"id":300491,"date":"2018-12-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-12-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/lessons-weve-learned-as-parents\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:40","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:40","slug":"lessons-weve-learned-as-parents","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lessons-weve-learned-as-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"Lessons We&#8217;ve Learned as Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Michael and Sharon Dennehy | Series: A Very Special Family | Are you called to adopt?<br \/>\n10 Ideas: Ministering to Orphans<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some of the greatest lessons of life come through parenting. Michael and Sharon Dennehy, the parents of 12 children, nine of whom are adopted, have spent much time in life&#8217;s classroom and reflect on what adoption has taught them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Michael and Sharon Dennehy, the parents of 12 children, nine of whom are adopted, reflect on what adoption has taught them.","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-12-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:19","filesize":"25.93M","filesize_raw":"27189694","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2821,2090],"tags":[2712,4660,4177,4661],"podcast_series":[7274],"cwp_profile":[8869],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300491","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-reaching-out","category-special-needs-child","tag-adoption","tag-romania","tag-special-needs","tag-special-needs-adoption","podcast_series-a-very-special-family","cwp_profile-michael-and-sharon-dennehy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300491\/lessons-weve-learned-as-parents","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300491\/lessons-weve-learned-as-parents","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ht3MFg4zrH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lessons-weve-learned-as-parents\/\">Lessons We&#8217;ve Learned as Parents<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lessons-weve-learned-as-parents\/embed\/#?secret=ht3MFg4zrH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lessons We&#8217;ve Learned as Parents&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ht3MFg4zrH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Some of the greatest lessons of life come through parenting. Michael and Sharon Dennehy, the parents of 12 children, nine of whom are adopted, have spent much time in life's classroom and reflect on what adoption has taught them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-12-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you\u2019re thinking about adopting a child from another country, and you share your thoughts with family and friends, Mike Dennehy says, \u201cBe ready for some opposition.\u201d\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> The natural reaction, especially in the US, is\u2014if a child is say two years old, somewhere in a country, poor\/starving\u2014your relatives will surround you, well-intentioned, and your friends\u2014they\u2019ll say, \u201cWell, what are you going to do about <em>college<\/em>?\u201d They\u2019ll start throwing out problems for you that are <em>years<\/em> away and not necessary. The child is\u2014somewhere, malnourished, dying, with no family\u2014and they want you to sweat whether they are going to go to Harvard or not.\n\nWhen those kinds of things creep in, Sharon will just go: \u201cWell, what if it were <em>you<\/em>? Would you want to come to America and be a part of a family or would you want to stay over in a gutter because someone decided they couldn\u2019t put in bunk beds?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, December 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine.\n\n<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\nHow do you make the decision, as a family, whether adoption is right for you? That\u2019s one of the questions we\u2019re going to talk about today. Stay with us.\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. I think what we\u2019re going to talk about today will help all of us put the Christmas season in the right perspective.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It will. We need to be reminded sometimes through, perhaps, what might be considered by some an extreme example. Like the letter I received, a number of years ago, from a radio listener\u2014from a lady who found a way\u2014I don\u2019t know how she did it, but she found a way to listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. She was a mom. I don\u2019t know all of the details about her family, but she was homeless.\n\n<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\nShe wrote to talk about how she so appreciated the broadcast and she wanted to be a donor\/a stakeholder in <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Opening the letter, a dollar bill fell out\u2014one dollar. I kept that dollar on my desk for a number of months just to remind me of the sacrifice that that must have represented from that woman and the help\/the hope she was finding in the Scriptures.\n\nI don\u2019t know, again, what her circumstances were; but Bob, we\u2019re touching families in all kinds of issues: We\u2019ve got blended families; we\u2019ve got intact families; we\u2019ve got folks, who have been divorced, who are looking for healing; we\u2019ve got single-parent moms and dads, who need someone to come alongside them and make this broadcast possible\u2014because they simply may not be able to stretch their budget enough to make this broadcast possible.\n\n<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That woman, who sent a dollar\u2014at one level, she wanted to say, \u201cThank you for how you\u2019ve helped me,\u201d and another level, she was saying, \u201cI want to help other people\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because when you invest in this ministry, that\u2019s what you\u2019re doing. You\u2019re making <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible for tens of thousands of people\/hundreds of thousands of people, who are tuned in every day to find help and hope.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who are Legacy Partners, who give monthly. Thank you for consistently standing with us through your monthly donations.\n\nI\u2019d just like to ask a listener right now: \u201cIf you\u2019ve never given, could you give? Could you join with us? We really need your help right now. We\u2019re running a bit behind where we need to be, for here, in December. It\u2019ll impact how far we\u2019re able to go in reaching families all across our country.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have a matching gift right now; and every time a listener, like you, makes a donation, your donation is going to be matched, dollar for dollar.\n\n<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\nIn fact, the total amount of money available in that matching fund has just increased. It\u2019s up to $3 million right now, which is a <em>huge<\/em> amount. Here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we\u2019re hoping to take full advantage of that matching gift.\n\nThat\u2019s why we\u2019re asking you: \u201cIf you\u2019re a regular listener\u2014if <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> has been meaningful for you\u2014would you go online, right now, and make a yearend donation, knowing that your donation is going to be matched, dollar for dollar? When you make a donation, you can request the DVD of the movie FamilyLife produced this year called <em>Like Arrows<\/em>. It\u2019s not available for sale yet, but we do have copies available for those of you who can make a yearend donation. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation\u2014you\u2019ll get the DVD and your donation will be matched, dollar for dollar. Or call to donate: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u2018F\u2019 as in family, \u2018L\u2019 as in life, and then the word, \u2018TODAY.\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\nWe\u2019re talking about adoption this week. I\u2019m just curious: \u201cWould you and Barbara say that you have learned things, as adoptive parents, that you would <em>not<\/em> have learned if you had not been adopted parents?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely. Some of the greatest lessons we\u2019ve learned, as parents\u2014and truthfully, as those who are adopted by our heavenly Father\u2014have come through adopting our daughter, Deborah\u2014great privilege and tremendous lessons.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Give us an example of a lesson you think you might have learned, as adoptive parents, that you wouldn\u2019t have learned otherwise.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, you know, I think most people tend to evaluate adoption\u2014they go: \u201cHow could you ever love somebody else\u2019s child as your own? I could never do that!\u201d You know what?\u2014it\u2019s instant. It doesn\u2019t matter if they come biologically or through adoption\u2014when they are yours, and you know God selected them for <em>you<\/em>, they\u2019re yours. You pursue them\u2014you\u2019re on a mission to love them and care for them.\n\n<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\nIt reflects the Father\u2019s\u2014our heavenly Father\u2019s love for us. He adopted us; we\u2019re in His family. We got grafted in, and He\u2019s <em>constantly<\/em> pursuing us.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You remember Steven and Mary Beth Chapman being here and talking about their experience of walking into an orphanage in China to receive their baby for the first time.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mary Beth, having those same questions\u2014she described it in that same kind of instant moment that you talked about.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Those doubts go away; they vanish, instantly. And we have a couple, who have experienced the vanishing doubts nine times. [Laughter] They have three biological children\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The instant love\u2014the \u201cJust add water...\u201d instant-love kind of thing.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Instant family too. Michael and Sharon Dennehy join us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Sharon\/Michael, welcome back.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Thanks for having us.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Thanks.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They do have <em>nine<\/em> adopted children, ages seven to eighteen. Did you have those doubts, especially as you moved to adopt your first adopted child at 18 months? His name was George.\n\n<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Right. I don\u2019t think I did have that experience. I know that\u2019s a common one, but I just felt so drawn to him and wanted\u2014\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was already there.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> It was there; yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And there for you, Mike?\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> No; honestly, I think men\u2014pictures don\u2019t do it; texts don\u2019t do it. You have to, actually, physically be in the room with them\u2014make eye contact\/pick them up for the first time. Then, you\u2019re there. I think we\u2019re constructed a little bit differently, on our side of the fence.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob was asking <em>me<\/em> some of the lessons we had learned, in terms of adopting a little girl, a number of years ago. What about you guys? Have you learned some lessons from adoption? I mean, undoubtedly, you have.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes; we were asked to sort of frame it a little bit. We put together ten of them for Bethany Christian Services<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> fundraisers that we\u2019ve done. One of the ones\u2014of the ten that really impacts me\u2014is from my wife. She ends all of our conversations about, \u201cShould we?\u201d\/ \u201cShouldn\u2019t we?\u201d with \u201cWhat if it were you?\u201d\n\n<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\nThe natural reaction, especially in the US, is\u2014if a child is say two years old, somewhere in a country, poor\/starving\u2014your relatives will surround you, well-intentioned, and your friends\u2014they\u2019ll say: \u201cWell, what are you going to do about <em>college<\/em>? What are you going to do about...\u201d They\u2019ll start throwing out problems for you that are <em>years<\/em> away and not necessary. The child is\u2014somewhere, malnourished, dying, with no family\u2014and they want you to sweat whether they are going to go to Harvard or not. When those kinds of things creep in, Sharon will just go: \u201cWell, what if it were <em>you<\/em>? Would you want to come to America and be a part of a family or would you want to stay over in a gutter because someone decided they couldn\u2019t put in bunk beds?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell me how the conversation went with\u2014Sharon, with your mom and dad\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Well, you know, they were very proud of me; because I was a good student and I had a journalism degree. I think they thought that I was wasting my life by being a mom to special-needs kids.\n\n<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\nAnd I had this\u2014God was telling me that, if I just submitted to this thing He had for me, that He was going to use it in a bigger way than anything I could do by writing about\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014with your journalism degree?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014with my journalism degree.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> And this may come as a shock; but a lot of the discouragement an adoptive family will get, early on, is going to be from people in the church; right?\u2014all around you. People in the church will tell you not to.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s interesting you should say that because, until a few years ago, I didn\u2019t think the church did have a healthy view of the orphan or of adoption. I think that\u2019s begun to change, though.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> I agree. I think the <em>key<\/em> thing that\u2019s begun to change is people are suddenly seeing themselves as adopted, if you\u2019re a Christian. If you read your Bible closely, you come away realizing: \u201cI was the orphan. God found me. He sought me. He did all the paperwork. He cleaned me up. And now, He says, \u2018Come sit at My table and dine with Me forever.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s heaven; right?\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Joining an adoptive family, here on earth, is a little model of the gospel.\n\n<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; Jesus said\u2014I think it was over in John 14: \u201cI\u2019m not going to leave you as orphans.\u201d He\u2019s coming after us.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes; Sharon and I were looking at our Scriptures this morning. There\u2019s constant reference to the fatherless. Well, who fills that void? It\u2019s our great Father\u2014<em>Abba<\/em> Father\u2014<em>Abba<\/em> \u201cDaddy\u201d Father.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, one of the lessons you learned is this lesson that you don\u2019t have to have all of the details of life figured when you bring a baby home. You don\u2019t have to have a college trust fund set aside. God\u2019s going to provide for you, along the way.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014in ways that you will <em>never<\/em> ever imagine.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Give me an example of a way that you\u2019ve seen God provide.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> This is amazing! We took Hope on blind faith. Hope is our little daughter. She was born, with no arms and no legs, from Thailand. She just came here this year. We said, \u201cYes,\u201d to her before we knew this; but while we were in Thailand, we were called aside by the Minister of Finance. He said: \u201cNow, that she\u2019s your daughter. I want you to know the Princess of Thailand set up a fund for her so that, when she\u2019s 18, she\u2019ll be taken care of for her future.\n\n<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\n\u201cWe\u2019re going to monitor this fund, and we\u2019ll make it available to her when she\u2019s ready.\u201d\n\nBut I\u2019m thinking\u2014I, literally, looked up to heaven and just\u2014because when we were in America, everyone was saying: \u201cShe\u2019s going to be so expensive! You\u2019ll have a burden your whole life. It\u2019s going to be so hard for you. You are getting too old,\u201d\u2014 on, and on, and on. Then, bang!\u2014God says: \u201cI\u2019ve got an answer. You can\u2019t mess with Me.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not often I\u2019m speechless. That gets me right there; God had gone ahead of you.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes; way ahead! He thinks of ideas to fix problems that you couldn\u2019t come up with if you tried.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And while we\u2019re on the topic of God, what have you learned about <em>Him<\/em>? Any of those lessons have to do with who He is?\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes; yes\u2014this saying: \u201cLove is not a pie\u201d; right? By giving love to a child, you\u2019re not depriving your other children\u2014you\u2019re not depriving your friends and family of love. The word, <em>agape<\/em>,\u2014right?\u2014resurfaces all through the Bible. It\u2019s sort of this out- pouring of love that never stops\u2014it\u2019s just, \u201cLove,\u201d and \u201clove,\u201d and you can\u2019t run out.\n\n<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\nSo, never not adopt because you think your other children are going to \u201csuffer lack of love from you\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s on you.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But time is a pie. I mean, let\u2019s just be honest. Love may not be a pie; [Laughter] but time\u2014there\u2019s a finite amount of time; right? So, you\u2019ve got 12 kids. I\u2019m just adding up\u2014an hour, one-on-one with each child, in a week\u2014that\u2019s half-a-day for you guys! How have you\u2014how do you divide the time pie, Mike?\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> We\u2014because of Sharon\u2019s guidance, we made a purposeful effort to not sign them up for all the traditional things; right? They don\u2019t all have to be taking a music lesson at a different place, and being on a travel sports team, and all the things that have suddenly become vogue and popular. We have story time; we have group meals; we have the pool. We have\u2014our church has an Upward Soccer program, where it\u2019s all in one place\u2014no travel. All the games are on a Saturday morning.\n\n<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\nWe take them\u2014all who want to play. Things like that have just shown up; and we said, \u201cThat\u2019s perfect for us!\u201d as is a gift from God called Sam\u2019s Club<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Costco<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> You know, you wondered about the people: \u201cWho\u2019s that person buying those 50 rolls of toilet paper? Maybe, I should pray for them.\u201d Well, that\u2019s us!\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the thing\u2014when you\u2019re on a mission, where God has told you to go on a mission; and you\u2019re doing it in obedience to Him\u2014\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it doesn\u2019t feel like a sacrifice. In fact, you\u2019ve actually said this\u2014you\u2019ve said that adoption can be addictive.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes; it can.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Isn\u2019t that kind of tied to: \u201cGod\u2019s got you on a mission,\u201d\u2014and it\u2019s like, \u201cWhoa!\u201d\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You just kind of keep having more and more\u2014\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> He teaches you things that you half-believed but never lived out\u2014this notion: \u201cThere\u2019s always room for one more potato in your pot.\u201d Well, you can <em>think<\/em> that; you can know that\u2014but until you see that in action and you see that by adding one\u2014you know, everything doesn\u2019t cease.\n\n<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\nYou don\u2019t run out of food. We have too much food here. Look at all of us, running around America; right?\u2014doing McDonald\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Burger King<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. [Laughter] We\u2019ve got too much. So, it\u2019s no big deal\u2014five pounds of potatoes or four-and-a-half.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; look over your list. I want both of you to pick one of your favorites from the list, because you\u2019ve got a list of ten things that you\u2019ve learned from adopting kids.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ten lessons learned from adopting kids\u2014give us one.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> I\u2019ll go first\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014if that\u2019s okay? I\u2019ve done adoption seminars and talked to men quite a bit. I realized that men have a whole different worldview of adoption. So, you need to change the language. One of the reasons\u2014it used to really bug me\u2014is during home studies and things\u2014Sharon would always tell me: \u201cWell, they\u2019re going to come look at our house. They\u2019re going to\u2014we need to write a check to So-and-so, so they can look at our\u2014test our water.\u201d It used to drive me nuts!\n\nI\u2019d tell all the ladies in the audience: \u201cTalk to your men in terms of <em>adventure<\/em>\u201c; right? This isn\u2019t a <em>fee<\/em> for the airplane; this is an <em>adventure<\/em> fee.\n\n<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\n\u201cThis is not a payment for the orphanage; it\u2019s a ransom\u201d; right? You start talking war-language and adventure-language\u2014and going and bringing\u2014\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you go; there you go!\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014and leaving our comfort zone, and going out, and\u2014it\u2019s Special Forces stuff.\n\nThen, men start to get like: \u201cYes! It\u2019s been awhile since I\u2019ve had a good adventure. You mean, we\u2019re going to Sumbawa\u2014over to Africa? We\u2019re going to have to like go to this shelter and hang out, and we\u2019re going to <em>rescue<\/em> a kid and bring him back? That\u2019s cool!\u201d Then, the men start to get engaged, mentally.\n\nA lot of ladies have come up to me and said, \u201cThanks for that one tip, because it changed our dialogue when we talked about it.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know who said the same thing is Rick Warren, the pastor out at Saddleback Church, when Dennis, and Rick Warren, and Russell Moore, and Jed Medefind\u2014from the Orphans Summit\u2014when they were together, out at Saddleback, in the spring of 2012. The subject was, \u201cHow do you get guys?\u201d because, typically, mom\u2019s heart goes there first before dad\u2019s heart goes there; right?\n\n<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\nRick said the same thing; and then, Russell Moore agreed. You\u2019ve got to help men see\u2014the provider\/protector side of manhood\u2014you just scratch a little of that, and guys will go, \u201cYes!\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI\u2019m in.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Yes; right.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And to that point, describe that orphanage in that country, where you just said you went to. Did you go to that orphanage?\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Well, I mean, I\u2019ll give you an example. George\u2019s orphanage was our first adoption. We went there. There were two or three babies per crib\u2014and rusty cribs that smelled terrible. There was death in the air. There was one nurse, taking care of 150 babies.\n\nWhen I saw that with my own eyes\u2014how bad things could get for these kids\u2014I went from: \u201cWhy are we doing this?\u201d to \u201cAlright! All kids\u2014get your stuff. We\u2019re leaving. You\u2019re following <em>me<\/em>. I\u2019m leading the charge out of here.\u201d It changed, as a guy, my <em>whole<\/em> view of what adoption was and sort of the mission that\u2019s associated with it\u2014especially, when you\u2019re getting a kid that\u2019s very much at risk of even death.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You mentioned earlier that, \u201cHere\u2019s George, with no arms.\u201d\n\n<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\nHe weighed nine pounds at a year-and-a-half.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> They skipped him, because they had to sit and hold the bottle for him.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> The others\u2014they\u2019d just hand the bottle and walk away.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; in some of these cultures, kids, with handicaps, are viewed as\u2014\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> \u2014burden.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; trash.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014human trash, literally.\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Or a curse, actually, in Romania. They were almost afraid to be near him.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> They didn\u2019t want to touch him or look at him.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; Sharon, what\u2019s your lesson?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Well, you know, moms will say to me\u2014our kids are fairly cooperative and fairly selfless, as far as kids go\u2014I mean, you can\u2019t say any kid is completely selfless; but, \u201cHow do you do that?\u201d I think I, actually, have an easier time of it; because my kids <em>share<\/em> resources. They look out for each other; they understand that mercy has been given to them. They fill the gaps and help each other. I think, sometimes, that\u2019s harder with a family with two children\u2014that can indulge them. I think that that\u2019s one of the benefits of\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And a lesson that you\u2019ve learned\u2014in terms of, not just seeing how kids react\u2014but it\u2019s interesting, because I just heard you talk about First World problems.\n\n<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\nWe talk about, at our house, First World problems. You\u2019ve learned that our understanding of life and how life is supposed to be is a little skewed; haven\u2019t you?\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Absolutely; yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; Bob doesn\u2019t like this question\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here we go!\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because it causes him to have to review every moment, or every list, or\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not going to like the question either. Just trust me; okay?\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You may not like it; but I got the feeling there are a <em>lot<\/em> of listeners, who would like to know: \u201cCould you just each capture a <em>favorite<\/em> moment on this journey of adoption, and of rescuing orphans, and giving them a family?\u201d\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> George, our son, had been invited by a major, well-known band, with 14 Grammy\u2019s, to come out and play with them, on stage. And there were 6- or 7,000 people in the audience\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wait; you\u2019re not going to tell us who the band was?!\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> It\u2019s the Goo Goo Dolls.\n\n<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; alright; yes.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> They are <em>amazing<\/em> people, by the way.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, you haven\u2019t established, for our listeners today, what George does with his feet.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> George plays cello, guitar, a little piano, and sings. He covered a Goo Goo Doll\u2019s song called <em>Iris<\/em>.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve seen the video on YouTube<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\n<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Yes; one of the lines in there is: \u201cI don\u2019t want the world to see me, because I don\u2019t think that they\u2019d understand. When everything seems to be broken, I want you to know who I am.\u201d So, it\u2019s perfect\u2014the lyrics, for him, represented his life to him. He did a cover of it that went viral. The Goo Goo Dolls saw the cover on YouTube and invited him to play with them. They brought him, out on stage, in front of 6,000 people. Everyone rushed to the front, broke through the barriers, took out their cell phones\u2014all you could see was camera phones, flashes, people saying, \u201cThis is amazing!\u201d He\u2019s playing guitar with his feet, in this huge venue; and everyone is cheering.\n\nIt flashed me back to the orphanage I told you about, where he was in a crib with two other babies. The bars were rusty. No one was paying attention to him. He was viewed as total trash.\n\n<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\nHe went from that to that. I thought: \u201cThat\u2019s the journey. That\u2019s what God does to our souls. That\u2019s what adoption is.\u201d\n\n<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I can think of when I was in Romania with George, meeting his biological family. They, through a translator, were apologizing and feeling guilty for giving him up. George said to them, \u201cMom and Dad, you saved my life by letting me be adopted.\u201d I just thought\u2014it all came together for me\u2014and I just said: \u201cHe gets it!\u2014and he\u2019s telling them this now.\u201d That\u2019s amazing.\n\n<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to thank you both for your obedient faith. I almost called it courageous faith, but I\u2014you probably would not call it courageous because you both are just doing your duty. But that, in essence, is what courage is all about. But I want to thank you for your obedience.\n\nI\u2019m wondering, Bob, before the broadcast is over, if we could just play maybe a little of that song, with George singing.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think the Goo Goo Dolls would be fine with that.\n\n<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\nIn fact, if you want to watch George, together with the Goo Goo Dolls, singing the song, <em>Iris<\/em>, we\u2019ve got a link to the You Tube on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com; but we\u2019ll play a little portion of it before we wrap things up here.\n\nLet me also point you to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, where you can get more information about adoption. It\u2019s something that we care deeply about, here, at FamilyLife\u2014not just adoption\u2014but caring for the needs of orphans, whether that\u2019s through foster care, supporting orphanages, helping out adoptive families or foster families\u2014coming alongside them, providing respite care or funding.\n\nOn our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ve got links to resources to help <em>you<\/em> get involved in caring for the needs of orphans. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information. We\u2019ve got copies of Dr. Russell Moore\u2019s book, which is called <em>Adopted for Life<\/em>. It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> book that\u2019s all about how we ought to think <em>rightly<\/em> on the subject of adoption\u2014where it fits in to what God is doing on planet earth and how we can understand it, theologically.\n\n<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\nAgain, the title of the book is <em>Adopted for Life<\/em>. You can order from us at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\nNow, we talked about this a little bit earlier, but a quick reminder to those of you who are regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014those of you who would say: \u201cYou know what? This year, we\u2019ve benefited from the ministry of FamilyLife,\u201d\u2014either because of the resources we\u2019ve created or maybe you\u2019ve been to an event FamilyLife put on. Or maybe it\u2019s just been this daily radio program that God has used in your life. If that\u2019s been the case, we\u2019d like to ask <em>you<\/em> to make a generous yearend donation. We\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry, who have recently increased the amount of money available in our matching-gift fund. It\u2019s now up at $3 million. We\u2019re hoping to take full advantage of that matching-gift fund. In order to do that, we need to hear from you. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make a yearend donation\u2014be as generous as you can be.\n\n<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\nOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone.\n\nWhen you do, ask for your copy of the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>. The DVD is now available to those of you who make a yearend donation. It will available for sale on February 5<sup>th<\/sup>, but you can get your copy today when you donate to support this ministry. Again, donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d and make a yearend donation.\n\nAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow. We\u2019re going to introduce you to Kate Clark, who has a remarkable story of God\u2019s mercy in her life. We\u2019ll give you all the details tomorrow.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch\u2014our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. As we close things out today, here\u2019s a little bit of George Dennehy and the Goo Goo Dolls singing the song, <em>Iris<\/em>. Again, you can watch the video when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\n[George singing]\n\n<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\nSong:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <em>Iris<\/em>\n\nArtist:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 George Dennehy\n\nSongwriter\/Composer:\u00a0 John T. Rzesnik (ASCAP)\n\nPublishers:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 EMI Virgin Songs, Inc. (BMI)\n\nScrap Metal Music (BMI) 1998\n\nBMI Work# 433905\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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