{"id":300473,"date":"2018-11-29T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-silent-sorrow\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:39","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:39","slug":"a-silent-sorrow","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-silent-sorrow\/","title":{"rendered":"A Silent Sorrow"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Chelsea Patterson Sobolik | Series: Longing For Motherhood | Author Chelsea Sobolik tells the heartwarming story of her adoption from the former communist nation of Romania. Unable to have children, her adoptive parents were led overseas where they prayed God would show them which child to adopt. Eventually, God led them to a teen who couldn&#8217;t take care of her baby, and the rest, they say, is history. Sobolik, like her mom, always loved children and hoped to have some of her own, but when she turned 19, medical tests revealed that something was amiss, and Sobolik&#8217;s dream of having biological children was dashed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chelsea Sobolik tells the story of her adoption. Her adoptive parents were led overseas where they prayed God would show them which child to adopt. God led them to a teen who couldn&#8217;t take care of her baby.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-29.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:27","filesize":"23.3M","filesize_raw":"24431683","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2860],"tags":[4646],"podcast_series":[7269],"cwp_profile":[8866],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300473","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-hardship-and-suffering","tag-infertility","podcast_series-longing-for-motherhood","cwp_profile-chelsea-patterson-sobolik","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300473\/a-silent-sorrow","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300473\/a-silent-sorrow","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"d3isyI2NaD\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-silent-sorrow\/\">A Silent Sorrow<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-silent-sorrow\/embed\/#?secret=d3isyI2NaD\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Silent Sorrow&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"d3isyI2NaD\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Chelsea Sobolik tells the story of her adoption. Her adoptive parents were led overseas where they prayed God would show them which child to adopt. God led them to a teen who couldn't take care of her baby.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Chelsea Sobolik was a freshman in college when she learned from her doctor that she would never be able to conceive and bear children. For Chelsea, that was news she had to bear alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> <a id=\"_Hlk529651207\">I felt like I was walking around campus with this big secret that I couldn\u2019t tell anyone. It was such a silent struggle and silent sorrow. Because some trials are quite visible\u2014and they\u2019re, still equally, as difficult\u2014but they\u2019re visible.<\/a> So, for me, no one knew this trial unless I told them. I felt completely alone at school and really did just about knock me to my knees and keep me there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, November 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. For Chelsea Sobolik, the news that she would never be able to bear children was news that forced her to have to reconsider whether she really believed that there is a good God who loves her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more with her about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, you and I would both agree that one of the great privileges of our lives has been that we\u2019ve had kids, who have called us Dad. At the same time, there are lots of husbands and wives, who would long for that privilege; and for whatever reason, they\u2019ve been unable to conceive; and that\u2019s been one of the great pains of their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s about one in six couples can\u2019t get pregnant when they want to and one in ten couples find out that they\u2019re permanently infertile. We have a young lady on the broadcast, who is celebrating her first anniversary to her husband, Michael. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChelsea Sobolik joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Chelsea, welcome\u2014all the way from Washington, DC. Thanks for coming down here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Thank you so much for having me. It\u2019s an honor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Chelsea has written a book called <em>Longing for Motherhood.<\/em> She has a story\u2014both from her own life\u2014as a baby, and also as a young bride, longing for a baby. She writes this book out of her experience and her desire for others to have a great view and a positive view of adoption. Explain to our listeners, Chelsea, where you came from and how your parents ended up adopting you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> So my story begins, actually, on the other side of the world. I was born in Bucharest, Romania, in January of 1991. Romania was a Communist nation until December 1989 when Ceausescu\u2014Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were killed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRomania under Ceausescu\u2019s reign\u2014and Communism is terrible to begin with\u2014but Ceausescu took it a step further and put policies in place in Romania. He was trying to compete with the Soviet Union\u2019s population. One of his laws was, if a woman did not have a child by age 25, she would be brought in for questioning by the government. Then, given another year, and if she still didn\u2019t procreate, her family would be fined a celibacy tax.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014whether married or unmarried.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Correct; yes. He was trying to grow his population. All these babies were born, and no one had money to take care of that many children; so they were just put into state-run institutions. After the dictator was killed, the western world went in to see the state of the country. The biggest shock was the state of children in orphanages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey were not true orphans\u2014they had living parents that just couldn\u2019t take care of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was kind of the stage that was set for my birth mom. She was 19 years old, an unwed mother\u2014did not have the resources or the finances to take care of a child. I was that child. She decided that adoption would be the best option for me, so that was all occurring. In North Carolina, the Lord was pricking the hearts of Bobby and Christie. I want to rewind in their story, because I think the Lord\u2019s fingerprints are so evident in their life. They were in their very early 20s when they got married and were not Christians when they got married\u2014did not <em>want<\/em> children when they got married. A few years into marriage, they became Christians but still didn\u2019t really have a desire for children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey traveled all over the world. My dad\u2019s an architect. They lived in West Africa, helping to build a church for a while\u2014and had a life\u2014just the two of them. In their early to mid-30s, their hearts changed. They desired a family and tried and couldn\u2019t; tried and couldn\u2019t. My mom had a miscarriage; and they started the process to adopt, domestically. That process dragged out over <em>years<\/em> and just wasn\u2019t going anywhere. They\u2014through the prompting of friends\u2014watched a <em>20\/20<\/em> documentary on the Romanian orphans. The Lord placed upon their hearts that that\u2019s where their first two children were going to come from. International adoption was a lot different, almost 30 years ago; but six weeks later, they were on an airplane to Bucharest, Romania. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey adopted myself and a little boy who is 11 days older. We\u2019re not biologically-related, but he\u2019s 11 days older than I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You actually said they prayed a prayer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> They did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014when they arrived in the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> They did. Because the need is so great, and there were so many babies in need of loving parents, they said: \u201cLord, please direct us to the children <em>You<\/em> want us to raise. Please show us who this little girl and little boy is supposed to be.\u201d They wanted to adopt a little girl and a little boy. They went with another couple from the US from their church. They all prayed the same prayer: \u201cLord, show us who our children are supposed to be.\u201d They actually saw and visited several children and did not feel like those were their children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey walked into an apartment, where my birth mom and myself\u2014where we were. My [adoptive] mom told me\u2014she said, \u201cBefore they even unwrapped you from all the blankets,\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cI just knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI just knew you were my daughter.\u201d They went on to adopt four more from Russia; but every time they\u2019ve prayed, \u201cBring us to the children You want us to adopt.\u201d The Lord has so faithfully answered that prayer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Clearly, this is something you were not aware of at the time. [Laughter] This is a story you\u2019ve learned as you\u2019ve grown up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; in fact, Bob, before coming into studio, she showed me two pictures of her birth mom and her\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Yes; I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014when she was a little bitty baby and very proud of those pictures.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When did your parents bring you into this story and fill in the gaps for you?\u2014and have you had any contact with your birth mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> I grew up always knowing I was adopted. It was very, very common in our house to talk about where we were all from. The Olympics were always a unique time; because we\u2019d be cheering for Russia, or Romania, or whatnot. [Laughter] But we always just knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a little kid, when someone would ask where I was from, instead of saying, \u201cNorth Carolina,\u201d I\u2019d say, \u201cRomania.\u201d It was part of our life, and adoption was my normal, growing up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs far as contact with my birth mom, I haven\u2019t met her; I haven\u2019t had contact with her. Everyone\u2019s story is very different. Some people really do long for that. I personally haven\u2019t really had a desire to meet her. My deep desire is that she knows the Lord. A couple of years ago, I wrestled through: \u201cShould I try to find her and tell her about the Lord?\u201d The thing the Lord laid on my heart, at that time, was, \u201cTrust Me that I will put people in her path.\u201d Again, everyone\u2019s story is so different. Some people really do have a desire. I just\u2014that desire\u2019s not on my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right; knowing what was going on, socially and politically, puts a little different spin on the whole reality. Have you ever had to deal with this thing that so many adopted kids deal with of \u201cWhy wasn\u2019t I wanted?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> So for <em>me<\/em>, I was wanted. It just\u2014circumstances didn\u2019t allow for me to stay with my birth mom. On another level, there is that: \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you fight harder?\u201d or \u201cWhy didn\u2019t this happen?\u201d or \u201c\u2026that happen?\u201d But as I\u2019ve matured and gotten older, it was such a kindness and such a humility of her, and of other birth parents, to say, \u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d\u2014and that\u2019s okay\u2014and to have that grace and humility to say, \u201cI can\u2019t right now.\u201d I mean, she put my interest before her own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s such a wise perspective. I think\u2014for those who might struggle with the \u201cWhy wasn\u2019t I wanted?\u201d\u2014to recognize the courageous decision that every birth mom makes because no birth mom easily surrenders a child\u2014that\u2019s a courageous decision. To recognize: \u201cThat was done for my good, out of love,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014maybe that can help soften the feeling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We have six children, and one of them is adopted. As I told Chelsea earlier, we don\u2019t know which one\u2014[Laughter]\u2014she\u2019s part of our family. But we talked about this a good bit. She always wanted to know\u2014wanted to meet her birth mom\/birth father. I never felt any competition that I wanted to keep her from that. We did everything we could to see if that could happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea: <\/strong>That\u2019s great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara and I talked about\u2014we always wondered if we, perhaps, made a mistake and didn\u2019t adopt another child\u2014because I like hearing where you came from\u2014with five other siblings that were adopted. I\u2019m sure there was a lot of discussion and dialogue, as a group of siblings, around: \u201cHere we are from Russia and Romania, and we\u2019re grafted into this American family.\u201d How did that work its way out in the conversation with you guys?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> I think we all processed our adoptions very differently. I was less than a month old when I was adopted, but one of my sisters was six years old when she was adopted\u2014and just saw things that I didn\u2019t and went through things that I didn\u2019t. She processed\u2014and in different ways, would share her feelings and thoughts towards her adoption or about her past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my siblings\u2014she was two when she was adopted\u2014but she doesn\u2019t remember this\u2014but part of her adoption papers: she lived in the sewers, underground, with her other siblings; and they kept her alive\u2014so just some hard stories. I think, as we\u2019ve all matured, just sharing kind of where we\u2019ve come from and how we process differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As a young girl, growing up, do you remember having a desire to, one day, be a mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> I do. I was\u2014I\u2019m the oldest girl in my family. My brother and I joke about who\u2019s really the oldest; because I was legally adopted into the family first, but he is 11 days older than I am. [Laughter] So we have this running debate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A competition there; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sibling rivalry of a different kind; yes. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> At its finest. But I was the oldest, so I took it on myself to be the surrogate parent to my other siblings; but then, growing up too, I was also very heavily involved in the children\u2019s ministry at church. I actually worked at our church for a couple of summers in the children\u2019s ministry department and just\u2014because I\u2019d had such a good experience in my large family, I had a really strong desire for a large family myself one day, and to be a mother, and to have the privilege of raising other little ones. I\u2019ve always loved children and just had a big desire for children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So with that on your heart, as you got into adolescence, you were experiencing unusual circumstances as a young woman. You did not have a menstrual cycle until you were 18; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Correct; I reached 18 without having one, and that is not normal. I went to the doctor\u2019s office that summer to start some testing, just to figure out \u201cWas everything okay?\u201d\u2014what was happening and whatnot. It was not a quick answer. They started a series of testing. At that time, they told me, \u201cWe think we might know what could be wrong; but we\u2019re not sure, so we\u2019re going to schedule more testing.\u201d At that time, they told me\u2014they said: \u201cYou know, there is a possibility you might not be able to have children, but we don\u2019t know. We\u2019re keeping an open mind. We\u2019re being hopeful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was that summer I went off to my first year at Liberty University, as a student, and didn\u2019t give it much thought past that because it wasn\u2019t a reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt didn\u2019t affect me that much\u2014I didn\u2019t really want to deal with it until it could become a reality. I didn\u2019t really think about it a lot. I just kind of put it on the back burner and said, \u201cI\u2019ll deal with it when I need to.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; but they eventually came back and confirmed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Yes; they did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that you would be unable to have kids. A lot of women don\u2019t get that kind of news until after they\u2019ve been married for a couple years and have experienced infertility. To get that news as a 19-year-old in college\u2014\u201cHaving kids is off the table for you,\u201d\u2014that had to be hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Yes; it just about wrecked me; because, like you said, a lot of women and men walk through that as a married couple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but here I was, a freshman at college, trying to walk through this massive, life-changing thing completely alone. I felt like I was walking around campus with this big secret that I couldn\u2019t tell anyone. It was such a silent struggle and silent sorrow. Because some trials are quite visible\u2014and they\u2019re, still equally, as difficult\u2014but they\u2019re visible. So someone can remember to ask: \u201cHow\u2019s your dad doing with cancer?\u201d or this or that. I\u2019m not diminishing those trials, because they are very difficult; but for me, no one knew this trial unless I told them. I felt completely alone at school, and it really did just about knock me to my knees and keep me there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It almost derailed your faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> It did; it did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You began to question the reality of God, the goodness of God, and thought about walking away from it all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> Yes; I grew up in a Christian home. Being the oldest girl, I was also kind of the goody two shoes\u2014volunteered in youth group, did everything I knew to do to be the good kid. Really, my faith was never tested. We went through some hard things, as a family; but it was, collectively, as a family\u2014we all pulled together and walked through it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut for the first time in <em>my<\/em> life, something <em>big<\/em> went wrong. I was entering into a season of sorrow and grieving a loss\u2014grieving a loss of being a mother to my natural children. For the first time in my life, I didn\u2019t get what I want. I thought: \u201cOkay; I could throw up my hands right now and walk away and kind of just say: \u2018This is too much. I\u2019m not doing this. I don\u2019t want to be a Christian anymore.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr\u2014and by God\u2019s grace\u2014this is the option I chose: \"I can read the Bible again, through the lens of my sorrow, and see what God says in the midst of this and see what Scriptures have to say to someone suffering.\u201d Again, by God\u2019s grace, I was reading through the Gospels and came to where Jesus is describing what it means to be a Christian. He says, \u201cTake up your cross and follow Me.\u201d We\u2019re following Him\u2014we\u2019ve been crucified with Him, but we\u2019re also raised to life with Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose verses did not make the pain go away, instantly, by any means. The Bible is not a Band-Aid to a wounded heart. But I, for the first time, realized what it meant to be a Christian and what it meant to follow a Savior with pierced hands. You know, He was wounded for my salvation and nothing I ever go through in this life is going to be as equal to His suffering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe feelings\u2014the sorrowful feelings\u2014did not go away quickly or instantly, but I decided to stay and to see where God would lead me on that journey; and I\u2019m so glad I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Chelsea, I\u2019m a father of six\u2014six kids\u2014four daughters. Can\u2019t help but feel like a daddy, at this point, looking over at one of my daughters, who had a longing to be a mother and that was taken away permanently. This is now a decade later. How do you look at this now, as a wife of one year with a husband, where you\u2019ve talked about having a family? We\u2019ll talk more, at a later time, about how you two processed that when you were dating, but what\u2019s your perspective of this today?\u2014a decade later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea:<\/strong> I would say, while this trial is one of the hardest things I\u2019ve ever done in my life and walked through, I feel like I walk with a limp; because I\u2019ve been broken, and because I wrestled with the Lord. It is not all of me. Our trials are not the sum total of who we are. Praise the Lord! It is a big part\u2014I\u2019ve written about it; I\u2019ve talk about it\u2014it\u2019s a hard part of me, but it\u2019s not all of me. That is what perspective gives, and that\u2019s what time gives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d asked me, three months in, I would not have been able to say that; because at that moment\u2014and in the years\/the three or four years that followed\u2014it was the most important thing in my life. But it\u2019s not any more. I still do want to be a mother; and by God\u2019s grace, we will build a family one day; but it is not Chelsea. Chelsea is so much bigger than my fertility or my lack of\u2014I\u2019m more than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that\u2019s a sweet thing to look\u2014to look over the past ten years and to see God\u2019s hand. One of my favorite quotes is by Charles Spurgeon\u2014he says, \u201cWhen you cannot see the hand of God, you can always trust His heart.\u201d In those early days of darkness and wrestling, and not knowing what on earth was going on, I got to know His heart. But as time\u2019s gone on, I\u2019ve gotten to see His hand, too, which has been one of the greatest honors of my life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s the right focus. We\u2019re called to walk by faith. Sometimes, that faith leads us through a valley that is filled with sorrow, sadness, loss. I think, sometimes\u2014those of us in the Christian community \/ those of us who have been followers of Christ\u2014represent the Christian life as a little unrealistic journey, but Jesus said we would have many sorrows. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere would be suffering; but He has defeated death, which is the ultimate sorrow\u2014\u2014rose again to give us new life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI like how you put it\u2014we follow Christ by picking up the cross; but we also follow Him, as He is raised to new life, defeating death and the grave. That is the <em>hope<\/em> of Christianity, and that is our <em>identity<\/em>. I like how you kept saying you are more than just a woman who desired to be a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chelsea: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking of a woman, who might pick up and read your book, <em>Longing for Motherhood,<\/em> who might share that desire. This book is not going to answer every question she has. It\u2019s not going to be an instant cure for the longing, but it will give her perspective on what she\u2019s experiencing and where God is in the middle of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd of course, we\u2019ve got copies of your book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to order <em>Longing for Motherhood: Holding on to Hope in the Midst of Childlessness<\/em> by Chelsea Sobolik. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have some exciting news as we head toward the end of 2018. We\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry, who have come to us, offering to match every donation we receive during the month of December, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $2.5 million. I have to tell you\u2014this could not have come at a better time; because as we head into 2019, we have a lot of projects that we\u2019d like to move forward with. We\u2019re developing some podcasts and working on a redesign of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a lot of things like that\u2014and all of that\u2019s going to depend on what happens between now and the end of the year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners: \u201cWould you consider making a yearend donation to help us finish the year strong?\u201d\u2014knowing that your donation is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, between now and the end of the year, up to a $2.5 million matching amount. If you\u2019re able to help with the donation, we have a special way to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you. FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> produced a movie in 2018. Many of you saw it in theaters, back a few months ago. That movie will be out on DVD sometime in the early spring; but we are making copies of the movie, <em>Like Arrows,<\/em> available to you if you can help with a yearend donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ll go to the website, FamilyLIfeToday.com, and make a donation\u2014help us fulfil our yearend matching gift campaign\u2014we\u2019ll be happy to send you, as our thank-you gift, the DVD of the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Or you can request the movie when you mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at P.O. Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk with Chelsea Sobolik about how she processed and tried to make sense of the news that she was permanently infertile. She\u2019ll be back with us tomorrow. I hope you can be as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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