{"id":300455,"date":"2018-11-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-11-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/life-in-a-large-family\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:38","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:38","slug":"life-in-a-large-family","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/life-in-a-large-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Life In a Large Family"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author September McCarthy and her husband, Dan, tell the story of how they met and married. The McCarthys also give their best parenting advice for many challenging issues.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:32","filesize":"26.13M","filesize_raw":"27395305","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2891,2815,2881],"tags":[4622,4623,2988],"podcast_series":[7263],"cwp_profile":[8862],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300455","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-making-memories","category-sexual-wholeness","category-young-children","tag-life-stories","tag-love-story","tag-parenting-advice","podcast_series-why-motherhood-matters","cwp_profile-september-mccarthy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300455\/life-in-a-large-family","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300455\/life-in-a-large-family","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"9GiPHfybxW\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/life-in-a-large-family\/\">Life In a Large Family<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/life-in-a-large-family\/embed\/#?secret=9GiPHfybxW\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Life In a Large Family&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"9GiPHfybxW\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a mom with a lot of kids, September McCarthy knows that, in the midst of the dailyness of life, it\u2019s easy to lose track of what\u2019s most important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We get distracted in motherhood and parenting with errands, and sports, and what they need for this, and what they need for that, and all of the distractions that come along with raising kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where I say, \u201cIf you know your purpose, you won\u2019t get distracted,\u201d because it\u2019ll be laced into everything you do. When you do devotions, when they\u2019re washing dishes, when they have to get a job, when they\u2019re tying their shoes and complaining, when they have to go to bed\u2014all of those things are laced with your primary purpose. Instead of \u201cThis is sports,\u201d \u201cThis is church,\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cThis is our faith, and it\u2019s going to be woven into everything we do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. The more we can remind ourselves of what really matters as parents\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the more effective we can be at keeping the main thing the most important thing in our parenting. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re here this week to make sure that the moms, who are listening to us, understand that <em>we<\/em> understand that being a mom is a joy; but it\u2019s full of hard work and challenge\u2014that every mom, who\u2019s listening, knows exactly what I\u2019m talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and our guest on the program today reminds us, really, through her book, <em>Why Motherhood Matters<\/em>, that children are made to be received and then released.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Somebody has said: \u201cA child is a mother\u2019s heart walking around outside her body.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt almost seems cruel of God to give a mom\u2014and, for that matter, a dad\u2014a child that is so close to them \/ to invest so much in them\u2014to pull back the bowstring and let the arrow go. You\u2019ve done it, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve released five; we\u2019ve released six; and our guest\u2014I want to ask <em>her<\/em> how many she has released. September McCarthy joins us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I\u2019m not going to tell the listeners how many children you have currently; I\u2019m just going to ask how many releases you have so far.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We have released three into the world so far.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And when you talk about releasing\u2014so, the first one that you released, where was that release point?\u2014and what was that like for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Our oldest son, Ben, when he was 22, married. On his wedding day, he walked me down the aisle and sat me where I was supposed to sit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe turned around and gave me a hug. I have to tell you\u2014it was a joyful moment. I just remember thinking in that moment, \u201cThis is not what women told me was going to happen.\u201d They told me I was going to be all sad and upset and, \u201cGoodbye, son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just so confident in his walk, and I was just so thankful he was where he was\u2014it was a joyful release for me. I remember thinking, \u201cLord, thank You for that moment,\u201d because it gives me hope and encouragement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It feels right; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>It felt so right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve told people, for years, it was easier for me to release my kids in marriage than to drop them off at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The drop-off at college was\u2014that\u2019s when\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes, brother! [Laughter] You and I became\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014puddles. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014puddles, wimps\u2014[Laughter]\u2014crying; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; yes. Well, when we took Ben to his first job at a Christian radio station, we set him up in his new apartment. I drove away, thinking, \u201cThis is hard.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>So, dropping Ben off and leaving him at his first apartment at a Christian radio station, before he was married\u2014that was our first release of him. I remember thinking: \u201cThis is hard. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m supposed to be feeling right now\u2014if I\u2019m supposed to be worried, or trusting what we taught him, or what he knows and his faith in God is going to carry him,\u201d but it\u2019s that release\u2014it has to be filled with trust.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, the first time we released a child, after we\u2019d cried for 45 minutes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014I said to MaryAnn, \u201cWhat are you feeling?\u201d and she said: \u201cI\u2019m feeling like this is right; and she\u2019s going to be okay, and this is all really good.\u201d And then she said, \u201cWhat are you feeling?\u201d and I said, \u201cI\u2019m thinking we\u2019ve spent more time over the last 18 years than we\u2019ll ever spend with her again for the rest of our lives.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And MaryAnn said: \u201cDon\u2019t think those things! Stop that!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But for the next week, I would drive home; and I would see the car that Amy had driven in our driveway; and I\u2019d go, \u201cOh, Amy\u2019s home\u2014no; she\u2019s not home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s just that recalibration of life when you\u2019ve let go of a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What I was thinking, as we released our first one\u2014as we drove away, and she was down on the corner, waving that little hand at us\u2014both Barbara and I were sobbing as we drove away. I turned to Barbara and said: \u201cThat does it. I\u2019m hiring a surrogate father to take the next five to college and make the release. [Laughter] There\u2019s not enough of my heart to be <em>crushed<\/em> by this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, you said you\u2019d made three releases. I want to correct you\u2014you\u2019ve made four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Thank you; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You really have made four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The first may have been the most difficult; because you only had your daughter, Elizabeth, with you for one hour because she was born without kidneys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s why, through this whole book, the theme, \u201cCapture and Release\u201d is a huge theme; because it\u2019s not just about watching them launch off\u2014it\u2019s about releasing them to the Lord\u2014letting them live out what you\u2019ve taught them, and instilled in them, and shown them by example. That\u2019s the release for me, so it has become a huge theme.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ve already talked about the fact that, when you got married, you didn\u2019t have this: \u201cI want to be a mommy\u2014that\u2019s all I want to be. I just want to have kids. I can\u2019t wait to be a mommy.\u201d That was <em>not<\/em> what you were thinking or feeling. You wanted to be a teacher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And then God started giving you pregnancies, and then\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, she is a teacher, Bob. She has her own school at home! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s true; yes. Should we go ahead and reveal the fact\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think we should. Have her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ve released three\u2014actually four. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How many do you still have to release?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We have seven left at home, and we have four left to homeschool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, your hands are still full.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>They will be for a long time, I think; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did the motherhood bug hit you? When did you go: \u201cThis is what God\u2019s made me to be,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m kind of excited about it\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I think the biggest moment was when Benjamin, our firstborn, was close to one. I was starting to feel that itch that a lot of women feel to be doing something other than this\u2014like: \u201cI need to get out. I need to do something,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cThere\u2019s no place for me in the church anymore right now. I\u2019m tied to this baby,\u201d\u2014all of those normal feelings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat, feeling sorry for myself, with my baby. I looked across the road\/the highway to this small home, where people came and went. They were a very busy family, but I could tell that they didn\u2019t know the Lord by some of their behavior and their actions. Of course, I had never asked them. I thought: \u201cThere is my mission field. There is my purpose.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is when I realized that I could be exactly what I wanted to be for the Lord and in my life\u2014but with my children\u2014which is really a whole chapter we wrote about serving together, as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat day, I just packed up Benjamin; and we walked across with some cookies and bread to the neighbors\u2019 house. I learned that motherhood had a bigger purpose than just about me. It was about teaching my children to open their eyes to the world around them. It taught me that I don\u2019t have to feel confined, but I can serve the Lord and I can be who God wants me to be. I could be an author; I could be a teacher\u2014I could be whatever God <em>wanted<\/em> me to be\u2014I just needed to walk out that calling with my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t see it as limitation, then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>No; I don\u2019t. I think that, whatever God has called you to do, you could do with your children. God has enabled you\u2014He\u2019s given those gifts to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are a lot of moms who sit, like you were sitting, with a one-year-old, and they go, \u201cYes; but here\u2019s the thing\u2014the external validation that you get in the workforce, or just being with <em>grownups<\/em> for a few hours every day\u2026\u201d I mean, if you are at home with a newborn\/a one-year-old, day in and day out, that gets pretty\u2014I mean, I can understand why you get stir-crazy in the middle of all of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right; right. A lot of women go back to work, and I champion them: \u201cDo what you need to do for your family.\u201d You know, this book isn\u2019t written for just stay-at-home moms. This is to call women up in their purpose for motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say, in my book, that \u201cMotherhood may disappoint you if you\u2019re unsure of purpose.\u201d It\u2019s like with anything in life\u2014if we don\u2019t <em>know<\/em> our purpose, then we\u2019re going to be disappointed: \u201cSo this is motherhood?\u201d I challenge women: \u201cWhat is your purpose in motherhood?\u201d \u201cIf you can do that and work,\u201d\u2014\u201cIf you can do that and minister,\u201d\u2014\u201cIf you can do that and stay home,\u201d\u2014\u201cthen do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did you resolve for yourself, \u201cThis is the purpose that God\u2019s given me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>That resolve came after we had our first three children, and we found out we were expecting twins. Partway through that pregnancy, I started experiencing some serious health complications. The doctor said: \u201cSeptember, we need to get you to week 25 with this pregnancy,\u201d\u2014and, you know\u2014\u201cIf you do, then we\u2019ll deliver the babies early into the NICU.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d You know, you give a woman a goal; and that\u2019s it\u2014it\u2019s right on her horizon: \u201cWeek 25,\u201d \/ \u201cWeek 25.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat week was getting closer and closer, and I was just getting more anxious and fearful. Week 24 came. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I knew that our boys had gone to be with Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, really!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I rolled over and I woke up my husband Dan. I said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, I told him. We just held one another, and we cried. We buried our boys with our daughter, Elizabeth. On the way home from the cemetery that day, we had three kids in the back seat. My oldest son, Ben, who is a typical firstborn\u2014you know, passionate, and outgoing and just says whatever he\u2019s thinking, and a strong leader\u2014he said, \u201cMom\u201d\u2014he was five; he said, \u201cMom, will I be with my brothers when I get to heaven?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWell, Ben, you know, you need to know Jesus as your Savior.\u201d We talked about that in the car. I really didn\u2019t want to talk about this at the time, you know; I was coming home from the cemetery. That day, my son, Ben, accepted the Lord as his Savior. I remember thinking, in that moment, \u201cIf I had not taken the first five years of his life and poured into him\u2014taught him God\u2019s Word, prayed over him, gone through hard times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014given him salvation: what it meant, even though he hadn\u2019t made that decision yet\u2014that could have been a lost moment.\u201d That\u2019s when I knew that motherhood mattered.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, there would be those, who would be listening to your story, and they would say\u2014as I\u2019m counting it up now: two miscarriages, the loss of Elizabeth, and now twins: \u201cHow have you maintained a faith that God is trustworthy and that He\u2019s a loving God, a compassionate God, full of grace and mercy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>God is the only reason that I can give a reason for my hope. Nothing\u2014nothing can compare to His love and mercy. I discovered that by walking through these times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of choices people can make when they go through things like this\u2014or even heavier things\u2014but the one thing I know is that He is my anchor; He keeps me grounded. When I try to stray away to dealing with things alone\u2014whether it\u2019s pain or loss\u2014and not talking to people, or shutting myself out, or becoming anxious\u2014<em>never<\/em> do I have victory in those areas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t figure it out when I had my first miscarriage, and I didn\u2019t figure it out when I had Elizabeth. But God is like that\u2014He is patient. You know, He allows us to walk through these things and draw closer and closer to Him. One of my favorite hymns is <em>Nearer, Still Nearer<\/em>; because I realized, in this journey of life: \u201cYou know, I can choose to turn my head away from the pain and just get through and stifle it,\u201d or I can say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLord, I need You. I cannot do any of this without You,\u201d\u2014especially motherhood, because that\u2019s a <em>daily<\/em> surrender: \u201cNot my agenda. What do You want me to do with these kids?\u201d \u201cWhat do You want me to do in this moment?\u201d \u201cWhat is Your answer for this?\u201d If we don\u2019t have God\u2014His Word \/ His hope\u2014we really don\u2019t have anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As you were talking, I was just thinking, \u201cYou had to have hope.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>To go negative about God is, ultimately, to lose your hope and not have an object of your faith that is worthy of trusting. To turn against Him is a big mistake; and yet, I understand why people do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I do. I do understand, because emotion and loss are <em>real<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You talk about your main purpose: \u201cRaising kids who love the Lord,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I think the moms, listening, would go, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that every mom\u2019s purpose?\u201d Is there a differentiator, as a mom comes to you and says, \u201cI\u2019m not sure what my purpose is\u201d? Is there a one-size-fits-all: \u201cYour purpose is to raise kids who love the Lord,\u201d or does she need to figure out her own purpose before the Lord?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>The Lord has given us children to steward; and He\u2019s also given us children to raise to love Him, so that they can go out into the world. We always say that our ceiling is their floor; so that is what we tell our kids: \u201cYou know, this is\u2014here you go. This is what we have to offer you\u2014you know, we\u2019ve given you the Word; we\u2019ve given you these principles; we\u2019ve taught you character. What you\u2019re going to do with it is <em>your<\/em> choice\u2014your relationship with the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we have that choice, as parents. You know, we get distracted in motherhood and parenting with errands, and sports, and what they need for this, and what they need for that, and all of the distractions that come along with raising kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where I say: \u201cIf you know your purpose, you won\u2019t get distracted; because it will be laced into everything you do. When you do devotions, when they\u2019re washing dishes, when they have to get a job, when they\u2019re tying their shoes and complaining, when they have to go to bed\u2014all of those things are laced with your primary purpose.\u201d Instead of: \u201cThis is sports,\u201d \u201cThis is church,\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cThis is our faith, and it\u2019s going to be woven into everything we do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, with ten kids, did you do soccer, and gymnastics, and music lessons, and all of that stuff? How did you handle that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what software program did you use? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>You know, we let our kids\u2014we told our kids: \u201cYou know, we have a big family. You need to choose when it comes to sports. You can pick one or two sports a year.\u201d We have a lot of boundaries that I had to keep for myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt one point in my motherhood, I didn\u2019t keep the boundaries; and I pushed myself pretty far\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014ended up in the hospital. I talk about that in my book. I learned a lot from that, so I learned to pick and choose. That\u2019s why I share a lot of these things in my book\u2014so that women don\u2019t have to go through the <em>same<\/em> mistakes, because they\u2019re an easy pitfall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut one thing we did do with our kids is\u2014you know, when they\u2019re little, you can kind of see their bent and their gifts if you\u2019re looking\u2014you know: \u201cWhat is this child strong in?\u201d \u201cDo they enjoy music?\u201d \u201cDo they like art?\u201d \u201cOh, they\u2019re very athletic; but do they like it?\u201d If you really get to know the heart of your child, and you\u2019re having a conversation with the Lord\u2014like, \u201cLord, just show me,\u201d\u2014those are the areas that we spent our most financial\/time investment instead of just trying to <em>fill<\/em> their schedule.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>So, like with Benjamin, it was very obvious, from a young age\u2014at four, he was playing special music in church\u2014you know, piano.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>So we started piano lessons and voice lessons. He did some sports, you know, just to keep him active; but we <em>knew<\/em> this was the calling Ben had on his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he\u2019s a worship leader\u2014he and his wife both. It\u2019s just really neat to stay in tune with your kids. You don\u2019t know, all the time; but it does pick our investment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Two questions to end with here: \u201cAre you done?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Well, you know, our youngest is seven\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I know that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>\u2014and we haven\u2019t had any more. So I guess we\u2019re done!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, here\u2019s the question, then: \u201cWhen the youngest was placed in your arms, what did you think?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I was 41; and I thought: \u201cWhat a miracle. This is the <em>best<\/em> experience out of all of them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>It was the hardest, and then reality set in. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to be walking with a cane when she gets married.\u201d [Laughter] No; but it\u2019s been a little different parenting journey. We\u2019ve had three sets of kids\u2014we had our three oldest, and then we had our three middle, and then our four youngest. I\u2019ve evolved as a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, when I wrote this book, I realized, \u201cI can talk from every season of motherhood when I write this,\u201d\u2014and I\u2019m a grandma. It really helped me to come from a perspective\u2014trying to be supermom to, now, just embracing this motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really enjoyed my motherhood with her. It\u2019s been more physically taxing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are you spoiling the youngest kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>No; because, you know, the oldest kids don\u2019t allow. They keep me on my toes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, they didn\u2019t in our family\u2014they just accused us of spoiling her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, they do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; exactly! And you wait\u2014when you\u2019re done, they will draw you into court and they will\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014present the evidence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They will present the evidence\u2014I promise you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cYou have spoiled this last one! You didn\u2019t give us <em>near<\/em> the breaks!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWe <em>never<\/em> got to do what\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cNo; we <em>never<\/em> got a chance to do that!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you\u2019ve done a great job today\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014putting your arm around a mom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and maybe some moms, who are\u2014they are through the child-<em>bearing<\/em> and <em>rearing <\/em>years, but they\u2019re now looking with a smile on the fruit and their reward, through grandkids. I just want moms to know: \u201cYou really are valued. You really are loved.\u201d I was just thinking the other day, \u201cI really <em>miss<\/em> my mom.\u201d I only had one of them\u2014only one. She made some <em>great<\/em> investments in my life, and\u2014\u201cYes; Mom, if you\u2019re listening, \u2018Thanks!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s the word I think every mom wants to hear from her kids, at some point, in the journey. September, again, we appreciate you being with us. We appreciate your book, which is called <em>Why Motherhood Matters: An Invitation to Purposeful Parenting<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can order a copy of September\u2019s book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask about the book, <em>Why Motherhood Matters<\/em>, from September McCarthy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have copies of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. Of course, we have the video series that accompanies the book as well. Find out more about those resources when you go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have recorded some additional conversation with September and Dan McCarthy. You can download that podcast from us when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to keep the conversation going, download the podcast with September and Dan McCarthy\u2014just go to FamilyLifeToday.com to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, be in prayer, if you will, for the couples who are attending <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways this weekend. We have getaways happening for the second week in a row in Pittsburgh and in Estes Park, Colorado. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have getaways happening in Detroit; just south of the Beltway in the DC area\u2014Solomon\u2019s Island Resort in Maryland\u2014and in northwest Washington state\u2014in Bellingham, Washington. Thousands of couples will be joining us this weekend for a getaway. Keep these couples in prayer, if you will, that God will do a work in their marriage and in their lives as a part of their time away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re a supporter of the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014if you\u2019re somebody, who\u2019s donated to support this ministry\u2014thank you for making things like the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> possible for couples, along with this daily radio program, our website, the resources we create. All that we do at FamilyLife happens because you help make it happen, and we\u2019re grateful for our partnership.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help support us today, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, an audio book. This is the dramatized version of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book,<em> Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. In fact, let me just play a clip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the story of the first Thanksgiving from her [Barbara\u2019s] book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator: <\/strong>But when Massasoit arrived with 90 hungry braves, all smeared with ceremonial bear grease, the Pilgrims became worried. How could they feed that many people? And if they used too much of their precious stockpiled corn, would they have an adequate food supply to survive the winter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFortunately, the Indians along the Atlantic coast also were accustomed to celebrating the harvest with what they called the green corn dance. They thought the Pilgrim festival must be the white man\u2019s version of this observance. So when Massasoit and his men arrived at Plymouth, they, too, went to the woods and seashore to gather food. Soon, five deer and more fish and seafood were presented for roasting. The Pilgrims breathed a sigh of relief and began preparing the meal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well again, that\u2019s just a portion of the almost hour-long audio book that tells the Thanksgiving story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation today. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Ask for the audiobook when you do; and again, thanks for your partnership with us, here, at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:32"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.13M"],"filesize_raw":["27395305"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300455.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300455.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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September McCarthy and her husband, Dan, tell the story of how they met and married. The McCarthys also give their best parenting advice for many challenging issues.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a mom with a lot of kids, September McCarthy knows that, in the midst of the dailyness of life, it\u2019s easy to lose track of what\u2019s most important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We get distracted in motherhood and parenting with errands, and sports, and what they need for this, and what they need for that, and all of the distractions that come along with raising kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where I say, \u201cIf you know your purpose, you won\u2019t get distracted,\u201d because it\u2019ll be laced into everything you do. When you do devotions, when they\u2019re washing dishes, when they have to get a job, when they\u2019re tying their shoes and complaining, when they have to go to bed\u2014all of those things are laced with your primary purpose. Instead of \u201cThis is sports,\u201d \u201cThis is church,\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cThis is our faith, and it\u2019s going to be woven into everything we do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. The more we can remind ourselves of what really matters as parents\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the more effective we can be at keeping the main thing the most important thing in our parenting. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re here this week to make sure that the moms, who are listening to us, understand that <em>we<\/em> understand that being a mom is a joy; but it\u2019s full of hard work and challenge\u2014that every mom, who\u2019s listening, knows exactly what I\u2019m talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and our guest on the program today reminds us, really, through her book, <em>Why Motherhood Matters<\/em>, that children are made to be received and then released.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Somebody has said: \u201cA child is a mother\u2019s heart walking around outside her body.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt almost seems cruel of God to give a mom\u2014and, for that matter, a dad\u2014a child that is so close to them \/ to invest so much in them\u2014to pull back the bowstring and let the arrow go. You\u2019ve done it, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve released five; we\u2019ve released six; and our guest\u2014I want to ask <em>her<\/em> how many she has released. September McCarthy joins us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I\u2019m not going to tell the listeners how many children you have currently; I\u2019m just going to ask how many releases you have so far.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We have released three into the world so far.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And when you talk about releasing\u2014so, the first one that you released, where was that release point?\u2014and what was that like for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Our oldest son, Ben, when he was 22, married. On his wedding day, he walked me down the aisle and sat me where I was supposed to sit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe turned around and gave me a hug. I have to tell you\u2014it was a joyful moment. I just remember thinking in that moment, \u201cThis is not what women told me was going to happen.\u201d They told me I was going to be all sad and upset and, \u201cGoodbye, son.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just so confident in his walk, and I was just so thankful he was where he was\u2014it was a joyful release for me. I remember thinking, \u201cLord, thank You for that moment,\u201d because it gives me hope and encouragement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It feels right; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>It felt so right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve told people, for years, it was easier for me to release my kids in marriage than to drop them off at college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The drop-off at college was\u2014that\u2019s when\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes, brother! [Laughter] You and I became\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014puddles. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014puddles, wimps\u2014[Laughter]\u2014crying; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; yes. Well, when we took Ben to his first job at a Christian radio station, we set him up in his new apartment. I drove away, thinking, \u201cThis is hard.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>So, dropping Ben off and leaving him at his first apartment at a Christian radio station, before he was married\u2014that was our first release of him. I remember thinking: \u201cThis is hard. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m supposed to be feeling right now\u2014if I\u2019m supposed to be worried, or trusting what we taught him, or what he knows and his faith in God is going to carry him,\u201d but it\u2019s that release\u2014it has to be filled with trust.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, the first time we released a child, after we\u2019d cried for 45 minutes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014I said to MaryAnn, \u201cWhat are you feeling?\u201d and she said: \u201cI\u2019m feeling like this is right; and she\u2019s going to be okay, and this is all really good.\u201d And then she said, \u201cWhat are you feeling?\u201d and I said, \u201cI\u2019m thinking we\u2019ve spent more time over the last 18 years than we\u2019ll ever spend with her again for the rest of our lives.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And MaryAnn said: \u201cDon\u2019t think those things! Stop that!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But for the next week, I would drive home; and I would see the car that Amy had driven in our driveway; and I\u2019d go, \u201cOh, Amy\u2019s home\u2014no; she\u2019s not home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s just that recalibration of life when you\u2019ve let go of a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What I was thinking, as we released our first one\u2014as we drove away, and she was down on the corner, waving that little hand at us\u2014both Barbara and I were sobbing as we drove away. I turned to Barbara and said: \u201cThat does it. I\u2019m hiring a surrogate father to take the next five to college and make the release. [Laughter] There\u2019s not enough of my heart to be <em>crushed<\/em> by this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, you said you\u2019d made three releases. I want to correct you\u2014you\u2019ve made four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Thank you; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You really have made four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The first may have been the most difficult; because you only had your daughter, Elizabeth, with you for one hour because she was born without kidneys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s why, through this whole book, the theme, \u201cCapture and Release\u201d is a huge theme; because it\u2019s not just about watching them launch off\u2014it\u2019s about releasing them to the Lord\u2014letting them live out what you\u2019ve taught them, and instilled in them, and shown them by example. That\u2019s the release for me, so it has become a huge theme.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ve already talked about the fact that, when you got married, you didn\u2019t have this: \u201cI want to be a mommy\u2014that\u2019s all I want to be. I just want to have kids. I can\u2019t wait to be a mommy.\u201d That was <em>not<\/em> what you were thinking or feeling. You wanted to be a teacher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And then God started giving you pregnancies, and then\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, she is a teacher, Bob. She has her own school at home! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s true; yes. Should we go ahead and reveal the fact\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think we should. Have her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ve released three\u2014actually four. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How many do you still have to release?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We have seven left at home, and we have four left to homeschool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, your hands are still full.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>They will be for a long time, I think; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did the motherhood bug hit you? When did you go: \u201cThis is what God\u2019s made me to be,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m kind of excited about it\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I think the biggest moment was when Benjamin, our firstborn, was close to one. I was starting to feel that itch that a lot of women feel to be doing something other than this\u2014like: \u201cI need to get out. I need to do something,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cThere\u2019s no place for me in the church anymore right now. I\u2019m tied to this baby,\u201d\u2014all of those normal feelings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat, feeling sorry for myself, with my baby. I looked across the road\/the highway to this small home, where people came and went. They were a very busy family, but I could tell that they didn\u2019t know the Lord by some of their behavior and their actions. Of course, I had never asked them. I thought: \u201cThere is my mission field. There is my purpose.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is when I realized that I could be exactly what I wanted to be for the Lord and in my life\u2014but with my children\u2014which is really a whole chapter we wrote about serving together, as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat day, I just packed up Benjamin; and we walked across with some cookies and bread to the neighbors\u2019 house. I learned that motherhood had a bigger purpose than just about me. It was about teaching my children to open their eyes to the world around them. It taught me that I don\u2019t have to feel confined, but I can serve the Lord and I can be who God wants me to be. I could be an author; I could be a teacher\u2014I could be whatever God <em>wanted<\/em> me to be\u2014I just needed to walk out that calling with my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t see it as limitation, then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>No; I don\u2019t. I think that, whatever God has called you to do, you could do with your children. God has enabled you\u2014He\u2019s given those gifts to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are a lot of moms who sit, like you were sitting, with a one-year-old, and they go, \u201cYes; but here\u2019s the thing\u2014the external validation that you get in the workforce, or just being with <em>grownups<\/em> for a few hours every day\u2026\u201d I mean, if you are at home with a newborn\/a one-year-old, day in and day out, that gets pretty\u2014I mean, I can understand why you get stir-crazy in the middle of all of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right; right. A lot of women go back to work, and I champion them: \u201cDo what you need to do for your family.\u201d You know, this book isn\u2019t written for just stay-at-home moms. This is to call women up in their purpose for motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say, in my book, that \u201cMotherhood may disappoint you if you\u2019re unsure of purpose.\u201d It\u2019s like with anything in life\u2014if we don\u2019t <em>know<\/em> our purpose, then we\u2019re going to be disappointed: \u201cSo this is motherhood?\u201d I challenge women: \u201cWhat is your purpose in motherhood?\u201d \u201cIf you can do that and work,\u201d\u2014\u201cIf you can do that and minister,\u201d\u2014\u201cIf you can do that and stay home,\u201d\u2014\u201cthen do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, when did you resolve for yourself, \u201cThis is the purpose that God\u2019s given me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>That resolve came after we had our first three children, and we found out we were expecting twins. Partway through that pregnancy, I started experiencing some serious health complications. The doctor said: \u201cSeptember, we need to get you to week 25 with this pregnancy,\u201d\u2014and, you know\u2014\u201cIf you do, then we\u2019ll deliver the babies early into the NICU.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d You know, you give a woman a goal; and that\u2019s it\u2014it\u2019s right on her horizon: \u201cWeek 25,\u201d \/ \u201cWeek 25.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat week was getting closer and closer, and I was just getting more anxious and fearful. Week 24 came. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I knew that our boys had gone to be with Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, really!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I rolled over and I woke up my husband Dan. I said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, I told him. We just held one another, and we cried. We buried our boys with our daughter, Elizabeth. On the way home from the cemetery that day, we had three kids in the back seat. My oldest son, Ben, who is a typical firstborn\u2014you know, passionate, and outgoing and just says whatever he\u2019s thinking, and a strong leader\u2014he said, \u201cMom\u201d\u2014he was five; he said, \u201cMom, will I be with my brothers when I get to heaven?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWell, Ben, you know, you need to know Jesus as your Savior.\u201d We talked about that in the car. I really didn\u2019t want to talk about this at the time, you know; I was coming home from the cemetery. That day, my son, Ben, accepted the Lord as his Savior. I remember thinking, in that moment, \u201cIf I had not taken the first five years of his life and poured into him\u2014taught him God\u2019s Word, prayed over him, gone through hard times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014given him salvation: what it meant, even though he hadn\u2019t made that decision yet\u2014that could have been a lost moment.\u201d That\u2019s when I knew that motherhood mattered.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, there would be those, who would be listening to your story, and they would say\u2014as I\u2019m counting it up now: two miscarriages, the loss of Elizabeth, and now twins: \u201cHow have you maintained a faith that God is trustworthy and that He\u2019s a loving God, a compassionate God, full of grace and mercy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>God is the only reason that I can give a reason for my hope. Nothing\u2014nothing can compare to His love and mercy. I discovered that by walking through these times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of choices people can make when they go through things like this\u2014or even heavier things\u2014but the one thing I know is that He is my anchor; He keeps me grounded. When I try to stray away to dealing with things alone\u2014whether it\u2019s pain or loss\u2014and not talking to people, or shutting myself out, or becoming anxious\u2014<em>never<\/em> do I have victory in those areas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t figure it out when I had my first miscarriage, and I didn\u2019t figure it out when I had Elizabeth. But God is like that\u2014He is patient. You know, He allows us to walk through these things and draw closer and closer to Him. One of my favorite hymns is <em>Nearer, Still Nearer<\/em>; because I realized, in this journey of life: \u201cYou know, I can choose to turn my head away from the pain and just get through and stifle it,\u201d or I can say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLord, I need You. I cannot do any of this without You,\u201d\u2014especially motherhood, because that\u2019s a <em>daily<\/em> surrender: \u201cNot my agenda. What do You want me to do with these kids?\u201d \u201cWhat do You want me to do in this moment?\u201d \u201cWhat is Your answer for this?\u201d If we don\u2019t have God\u2014His Word \/ His hope\u2014we really don\u2019t have anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As you were talking, I was just thinking, \u201cYou had to have hope.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>To go negative about God is, ultimately, to lose your hope and not have an object of your faith that is worthy of trusting. To turn against Him is a big mistake; and yet, I understand why people do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I do. I do understand, because emotion and loss are <em>real<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You talk about your main purpose: \u201cRaising kids who love the Lord,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I think the moms, listening, would go, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that every mom\u2019s purpose?\u201d Is there a differentiator, as a mom comes to you and says, \u201cI\u2019m not sure what my purpose is\u201d? Is there a one-size-fits-all: \u201cYour purpose is to raise kids who love the Lord,\u201d or does she need to figure out her own purpose before the Lord?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>The Lord has given us children to steward; and He\u2019s also given us children to raise to love Him, so that they can go out into the world. We always say that our ceiling is their floor; so that is what we tell our kids: \u201cYou know, this is\u2014here you go. This is what we have to offer you\u2014you know, we\u2019ve given you the Word; we\u2019ve given you these principles; we\u2019ve taught you character. What you\u2019re going to do with it is <em>your<\/em> choice\u2014your relationship with the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we have that choice, as parents. You know, we get distracted in motherhood and parenting with errands, and sports, and what they need for this, and what they need for that, and all of the distractions that come along with raising kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where I say: \u201cIf you know your purpose, you won\u2019t get distracted; because it will be laced into everything you do. When you do devotions, when they\u2019re washing dishes, when they have to get a job, when they\u2019re tying their shoes and complaining, when they have to go to bed\u2014all of those things are laced with your primary purpose.\u201d Instead of: \u201cThis is sports,\u201d \u201cThis is church,\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cThis is our faith, and it\u2019s going to be woven into everything we do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, with ten kids, did you do soccer, and gymnastics, and music lessons, and all of that stuff? How did you handle that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what software program did you use? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>You know, we let our kids\u2014we told our kids: \u201cYou know, we have a big family. You need to choose when it comes to sports. You can pick one or two sports a year.\u201d We have a lot of boundaries that I had to keep for myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt one point in my motherhood, I didn\u2019t keep the boundaries; and I pushed myself pretty far\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014ended up in the hospital. I talk about that in my book. I learned a lot from that, so I learned to pick and choose. That\u2019s why I share a lot of these things in my book\u2014so that women don\u2019t have to go through the <em>same<\/em> mistakes, because they\u2019re an easy pitfall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut one thing we did do with our kids is\u2014you know, when they\u2019re little, you can kind of see their bent and their gifts if you\u2019re looking\u2014you know: \u201cWhat is this child strong in?\u201d \u201cDo they enjoy music?\u201d \u201cDo they like art?\u201d \u201cOh, they\u2019re very athletic; but do they like it?\u201d If you really get to know the heart of your child, and you\u2019re having a conversation with the Lord\u2014like, \u201cLord, just show me,\u201d\u2014those are the areas that we spent our most financial\/time investment instead of just trying to <em>fill<\/em> their schedule.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>So, like with Benjamin, it was very obvious, from a young age\u2014at four, he was playing special music in church\u2014you know, piano.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>So we started piano lessons and voice lessons. He did some sports, you know, just to keep him active; but we <em>knew<\/em> this was the calling Ben had on his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he\u2019s a worship leader\u2014he and his wife both. It\u2019s just really neat to stay in tune with your kids. You don\u2019t know, all the time; but it does pick our investment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Two questions to end with here: \u201cAre you done?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Well, you know, our youngest is seven\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I know that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>\u2014and we haven\u2019t had any more. So I guess we\u2019re done!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, here\u2019s the question, then: \u201cWhen the youngest was placed in your arms, what did you think?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I was 41; and I thought: \u201cWhat a miracle. This is the <em>best<\/em> experience out of all of them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>It was the hardest, and then reality set in. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to be walking with a cane when she gets married.\u201d [Laughter] No; but it\u2019s been a little different parenting journey. We\u2019ve had three sets of kids\u2014we had our three oldest, and then we had our three middle, and then our four youngest. I\u2019ve evolved as a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, when I wrote this book, I realized, \u201cI can talk from every season of motherhood when I write this,\u201d\u2014and I\u2019m a grandma. It really helped me to come from a perspective\u2014trying to be supermom to, now, just embracing this motherhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really enjoyed my motherhood with her. It\u2019s been more physically taxing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are you spoiling the youngest kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>No; because, you know, the oldest kids don\u2019t allow. They keep me on my toes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, they didn\u2019t in our family\u2014they just accused us of spoiling her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, they do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; exactly! And you wait\u2014when you\u2019re done, they will draw you into court and they will\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014present the evidence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They will present the evidence\u2014I promise you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cYou have spoiled this last one! You didn\u2019t give us <em>near<\/em> the breaks!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWe <em>never<\/em> got to do what\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cNo; we <em>never<\/em> got a chance to do that!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you\u2019ve done a great job today\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014putting your arm around a mom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and maybe some moms, who are\u2014they are through the child-<em>bearing<\/em> and <em>rearing <\/em>years, but they\u2019re now looking with a smile on the fruit and their reward, through grandkids. I just want moms to know: \u201cYou really are valued. You really are loved.\u201d I was just thinking the other day, \u201cI really <em>miss<\/em> my mom.\u201d I only had one of them\u2014only one. She made some <em>great<\/em> investments in my life, and\u2014\u201cYes; Mom, if you\u2019re listening, \u2018Thanks!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s the word I think every mom wants to hear from her kids, at some point, in the journey. September, again, we appreciate you being with us. We appreciate your book, which is called <em>Why Motherhood Matters: An Invitation to Purposeful Parenting<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can order a copy of September\u2019s book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask about the book, <em>Why Motherhood Matters<\/em>, from September McCarthy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have copies of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. Of course, we have the video series that accompanies the book as well. Find out more about those resources when you go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have recorded some additional conversation with September and Dan McCarthy. You can download that podcast from us when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to keep the conversation going, download the podcast with September and Dan McCarthy\u2014just go to FamilyLifeToday.com to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, be in prayer, if you will, for the couples who are attending <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways this weekend. We have getaways happening for the second week in a row in Pittsburgh and in Estes Park, Colorado. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have getaways happening in Detroit; just south of the Beltway in the DC area\u2014Solomon\u2019s Island Resort in Maryland\u2014and in northwest Washington state\u2014in Bellingham, Washington. Thousands of couples will be joining us this weekend for a getaway. Keep these couples in prayer, if you will, that God will do a work in their marriage and in their lives as a part of their time away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re a supporter of the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014if you\u2019re somebody, who\u2019s donated to support this ministry\u2014thank you for making things like the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> possible for couples, along with this daily radio program, our website, the resources we create. All that we do at FamilyLife happens because you help make it happen, and we\u2019re grateful for our partnership.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help support us today, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, an audio book. This is the dramatized version of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book,<em> Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. In fact, let me just play a clip. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the story of the first Thanksgiving from her [Barbara\u2019s] book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator: <\/strong>But when Massasoit arrived with 90 hungry braves, all smeared with ceremonial bear grease, the Pilgrims became worried. How could they feed that many people? And if they used too much of their precious stockpiled corn, would they have an adequate food supply to survive the winter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFortunately, the Indians along the Atlantic coast also were accustomed to celebrating the harvest with what they called the green corn dance. They thought the Pilgrim festival must be the white man\u2019s version of this observance. So when Massasoit and his men arrived at Plymouth, they, too, went to the woods and seashore to gather food. Soon, five deer and more fish and seafood were presented for roasting. The Pilgrims breathed a sigh of relief and began preparing the meal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well again, that\u2019s just a portion of the almost hour-long audio book that tells the Thanksgiving story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation today. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Ask for the audiobook when you do; and again, thanks for your partnership with us, here, at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300455"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300455"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300455"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300455"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}