{"id":300451,"date":"2018-11-08T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-11-08T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-losses-of-motherhood\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:38","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:38","slug":"the-losses-of-motherhood","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-losses-of-motherhood\/","title":{"rendered":"The Losses of Motherhood"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>September McCarthy&#8217;s first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and their second child also died shortly after birth. God used those transforming moments to show her the sacred in the suffering and to change her heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:55","filesize":"25.56M","filesize_raw":"26797212","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2879,2838],"tags":[4620,4617,4125,2440,4087,4618,4619],"podcast_series":[7263],"cwp_profile":[8862],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300451","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-loss-of-a-child","category-mothers","tag-heart-of-a-mother","tag-large-family","tag-loss","tag-miscarriage","tag-mothers","tag-raising-kids","tag-stillborn","podcast_series-why-motherhood-matters","cwp_profile-september-mccarthy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300451\/the-losses-of-motherhood","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300451\/the-losses-of-motherhood","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Eoa9CX7zHa\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-losses-of-motherhood\/\">The Losses of Motherhood<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-losses-of-motherhood\/embed\/#?secret=Eoa9CX7zHa\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Losses of Motherhood&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Eoa9CX7zHa\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-08.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-08.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Early in her second pregnancy, September McCarthy remembers being at her doctor\u2019s office when she and her husband received some very disturbing news about her pregnancy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> They said: \u201cYou could go into labor at six months. You could carry her full term, but she won\u2019t live very long\u2014it could be ten minutes. She might not even make it through delivery; she could be stillborn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe carried her nine months, and we had an hour. [Emotion in voice] You know, delivering a breech baby is hard. I can just remember my husband getting right in my face and saying: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do this together. God is right here, September.\u201d When she was born, and they handed me her and she opened her eyes, it was almost like the Holy Spirit was just right there; and everything in the room faded away. I can never replicate that moment. I had a peace that passes all understanding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, November 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There are seasons of profound grief and heartache that we can face in our parenting journey. There are seasons of unspeakable joy as well. We\u2019ll hear more about both sides of parenting from our guest today, September McCarthy. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I shared with you about my grand-parenting adventure last night a little bit; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It will never make it on the air, folks. [Laughter] I wish we could play this story. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just\u2014In a quick version\u2014I was grand-parenting for two children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014two and under. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014two and under. And I had them, basically, for two waking hours before I had them both put to bed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What a pro! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Pretty much the <em>whole<\/em> focus of those two waking hours was feeding and then taking care of what happens after you feed the kids. [Laughter] That was pretty much what I spent my time doing. Here\u2019s the reason I brought that up, because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; what is the reason? Are you looking for a martyr award or something? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; the reason I brought it up because I had a moment, where I thought\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know what this is?\u2014this is the world\u2019s smallest violin. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dennis is just giving me no sympathy. [Laughter] I had this momentary thought: \u201cThere are moms, who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and that\u2019s not a two-hour experience that they have, you know, once a month. That\u2019s what they live with, day in and day out. Then they just go, \u2018This is my life!\u2014is to feed and then to clean my child.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you have more compassion on MaryAnn as a result of your two-hour duty last night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m sure, if I sat and thought about it long enough, yes; I would develop more compassion. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> His compassion molecule just showed up. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I was just having compassion on <em>me<\/em> for doing my two hours\u2019 worth. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we want to cheer on moms today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; we do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And we have a mom, who is here on the broadcast, who was born in September and <em>named<\/em> after September by her mom and dad. September McCarthy joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s an honor to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has written a book called <em>Why Motherhood Matters: An Invitation to Purposeful Parenting. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are well beyond the diaper stage of parenting; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> We are well beyond that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you remember it; don\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; it wasn\u2019t long ago\u2014just sixth years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, she better be beyond it because they have ten\u2014count them\u2014ten children, ages seven to twenty-six\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014four grandchildren. She\u2019s been married to Dan the Builder\u2014that\u2019s what he does, but that\u2019s also kind of her nickname in her book for her husband Dan\u2014since 1989. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now you know, September, there are some moms listening, who just tuned out when they heard you have ten kids; because it\u2019s kind of like, \u201cOh, she\u2019s one of those kinds of amazing moms\u2014those super moms.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Are you a three-ring circus mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; nope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, come on!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Five\u2014maybe five-ring. [Laughter] It\u2019s crazy at our house. We are the real deal\u2014real, you know, story. When I travel and speak, and people hear my bio and I introduce myself as a mom of ten, I can see the shades come right down over their faces; and they kind of tune me out. So [now] I don\u2019t even tell anyone anything about me when I start talking, because I want them to know I\u2019m just like them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Whether you\u2019re raising one or ten\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the realities of motherhood\u2014there are parallels that every mom experiences; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What would you say is the <em>biggest<\/em> challenge of being a mom of ten?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Just the conversation\u2014just keeping up with everyone\u2019s lives\u2014like knowing where they are, all at the same time. When they come back and talk to me, remembering who\u2019s doing what\u2014what\u2019s going on in their life\u2014remembering I\u2019m living with <em>ten<\/em> different personalities. I have to\u2014it\u2019s my job to remember and make them feel important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So do you have Find a Friend\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Find Your Friend app on your phone? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; but that is a <em>great<\/em> idea! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would have it on every one of the kids who have the devices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or just have a collar around their neck. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We have left a few at church before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>September, I want to go back to 1989, when you and Dan got married. Did you guys talk and both of you look at each other and say, \u201cI want as many kids as we can have\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Never\u2014we never did that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was that in your heart at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; motherhood was not on my radar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now wait!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Seriously?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Seriously; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was it something you weren\u2019t interested in at all?\u2014were you opposed to it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I wasn\u2019t opposed to it. I just was not trained or raised to think that it might be an integral part of my future. I think a lot of women think: \u201cThat\u2019s to come. That probably will happen. That is part of what is in the future.\u201d But to me, it wasn\u2019t something that I ever focused or was raised to be a good mom. When we got married, it was just bliss. You know, we were young and I wasn\u2019t thinking: \u201cI\u2019m going to be a mom someday,\u201d and \u201cI want to be a mom someday.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy book is a <em>learning<\/em> experience. You know, it was something God walked with me and taught me. I\u2019m eager to share it; because I want other women, who may have come into motherhood and been surprised and caught off guard\u2014or even those that thought they were prepared and are entering motherhood\u2014and they\u2019re thinking, \u201cThis is <em>not<\/em> what I thought it was going to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you think your path would be a career path with kids fitting in around that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I went to school to be a teacher, and dropped out of college, and married a builder; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we started a family with loss. At that point, I just did not think motherhood was on my radar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; talk about starting a family with loss, because that\u2019s a key part of this story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Well, you know, I didn\u2019t think that motherhood was going to be part of my future. When we found out we were expecting, it was a mix of anxiety and excitement. It grew to be excitement. We had a miscarriage shortly into our marriage. Then we found out we were expecting another baby\u2014a little girl. That\u2019s a long story, and that\u2019s a part of my book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what happened in all of our loss is\u2014I realized, deep down, when I was in pain and suffering, that God obviously had something that was birthed in me that He put there as a desire; because I was missing it, and longing it, and wondering, \u201cWhy did this happen?\u201d instead of thinking, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t plan on being a mother.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t ever think that when we lose a baby. I realized that motherhood must matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That second pregnancy\u2014that daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; Elizabeth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You learned, while she was still in utero, that she had no kidneys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right; four months in, we went to the doctor\u2014I was alone; Dan was at work. The doctor pulled me aside and he said: \u201cI recommend that you have an abortion. Your baby won\u2019t live. She has no kidneys.\u201d I kind of walked out of that office very numb, thinking, \u201cWhat choice do I have?\u201d Then I went home, and Dan and I grieved together\u2014we grieved very <em>deeply<\/em>; we kind of secluded ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen a great Christian couple, who kind of mentored us, came alongside us and said: \u201cYou need to share this. You need to let God use this.\u201d That was a foreign concept to my mind\u2014I\u2019m thinking: \u201cLet God use this? I\u2019m carrying this baby that\u2019s going to die.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband and I\u2014we put in a lot of prayer, and we chose to carry that baby\u2014our little girl, Elizabeth\u2014for another six months. We delivered her\u2014a breech delivery\u2014and she lived an hour. I will never forget that moment. You know, it was the most glorious moment of my entire life; because I could sense the presence of the Lord saying, \u201cYou didn\u2019t have to carry her.\u201d We had that time with her\u2014we were able to spend that time, looking in her eyes. I remember thinking, \u201cMotherhood matters.\u201d I learned that very early on\u2014I was only 19 at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth is with the Lord; we had a few more miscarriages after that. That was the beginning of my motherhood journey\u2014was loss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want you to just unpack where you were, spiritually, when you started your marriage. I mean, at 19\u2014I\u2019m not sure I was in the ball game at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You talked about how the concept of allowing God to use suffering in your life for His purposes was foreign. I get that\u2014at that age, you\u2019ve got the whole of your life to look forward to. You don\u2019t think it\u2019s going to happen to you. Share with our listeners where you were at that point and how God has used motherhood to perform heart surgery on you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; motherhood has been sanctifying for me. I was not raised in a very strong Christian home, where you live out what you know. This concept of suffering and drawing closer to the Lord through moments like this was foreign. I didn\u2019t even understand what that person meant when they said to me, \u201cLet the Lord use this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs our marriage and time together in losing children\u2014even in the future, we lost more pregnancies\u2014I realized that my faith needed to be real for <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt couldn\u2019t just be: \u201cI\u2019m a Christian. I\u2019m married. We\u2019re a godly couple.\u201d Really, we were a couple that knew the Lord; but I wanted to be that godly person that understood what Christ meant when He said, \u201cShare in My suffering.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat grew me. It forced me in a path to open the Word of God and to dig in and to understand what His principles were and what they meant. That was how my spiritual journey\u2014in sync with motherhood\u2014kind of grew and expanded my knowledge about the Word of God. I just want to encourage others, who have gone through a loss\u2014just <em>choose<\/em> to draw close to the Lord, because He\u2019s the only that\u2019s going to hold you through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to go back to that one hour you had with Elizabeth; because I can imagine a woman in that moment, saying: \u201cI never want to open myself up to the possibility of this kind of heartache again,\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t want to get pregnant.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid you feel any of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> All of that; right\u2014all of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A big risk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> It is a big risk, even after you have a miscarriage. That\u2019s the normal feeling\u2014our bodies, our mental state, our emotions\u2014of course, it does take time to heal\u2014you have to let yourself heal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in that one hour\u2014you know, it was really a supernatural thing. [Emotion in voice] It\u2019s amazing\u2014because I talk about this all the time, but when I think about that one hour\u2014you know, delivering a breech baby is hard. I was only 19, so that was my first delivery. They say women\u2019s deliveries get easier, the more you know \/ the more you do this. But this was my first baby. I can remember thinking, \u201cThis is never going to end.\u201d It was <em>very<\/em> painful. [Tears] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you walk through pain and suffering, and it\u2019s physical, it becomes more spiritual.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> When it was time to deliver Elizabeth\u2014and we had no pain medication back in that day\u2014I can just remember my husband getting right in my face and saying: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do this together. God is right here, September.\u201d It was not an easy delivery, and the doctors had to manipulate her out. When she was born, and they handed me her and she opened her eyes, it was almost like the Holy Spirit was just right there; and everything in the room faded away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I can never replicate that moment. I had a peace that passes all understanding. It was like the calm after the storm, which is so hard to explain. Because when you\u2019ve gone through something like that, people think, \u201cThat is the storm\u2014when you lose your baby.\u201d But that was the peaceful part\u2014you know, just holding her and knowing that I had given birth, and made a choice, and that God gave us that moment. He gave us that moment, and I knew that I was going to have to give her back to the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when it was time, the doctors told me, \u201cSeptember, you don\u2019t have a whole lot of time left with her.\u201d I looked up; and there in the room to my right\u2014and I tell my husband this, and I haven\u2019t shared this with a lot of people\u2014it was like there was an angel standing right there. She [Elizabeth] just closed her eyes, and she went to be with Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was this amazing strength that came over me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI literally just got out of bed and showered and dressed, and my body had just been through a <em>very<\/em> physical trial. The nurses were like: \u201cHoney, sit down. It\u2019s okay.\u201d I said, \u201cNo; I\u2019m really\u2014I\u2019m ready to move on.\u201d I didn\u2019t mean move on, emotionally\u2014I just had this strength. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe hardest part was looking at my husband and watching him watch me suffer. Suffering in this was not just a strengthening of my faith\u2014it was a strengthening of our marriage. Dan and I have always\u2014our marriage has always been about drawing closer to one another through these times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you found out that you were pregnant, again, after\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I was afraid. Right; I was afraid. I lived in a lot of fear for many years. It affected our physical relationship\u2014it affected everything\u2014because I didn\u2019t want to find out that I was pregnant again. I didn\u2019t want to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I did not want to have to say good-bye again. It takes a long time to break a cycle of fear. You know, fear can affect your spiritual life, your marriage, your motherhood; and I did <em>not<\/em> want to live in fear\u2014it took me captive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did\u2014we found out we were pregnant again. We had another miscarriage, and that led to some bitterness in my life. I became kind of bitter at motherhood. I didn\u2019t understand: \u201cIf this is what God meant for motherhood, I didn\u2019t want to have <em>anything<\/em> to do with it.\u201d You know, I\u2019m not afraid to say that; because I want women to know that there\u2019s a real face to grieving\u2014you know, it\u2019s a real thing. The most important thing is, though, that you don\u2019t stay in that place\u2014you know, that there\u2019s a hope that we can hold on to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDan and I worked slowly out of that, and we clung to the Lord. We just spent more time in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe became better communicators with one another and trying to figure out how we were going to navigate the rest of our marriage if this is what it meant\u2014if it meant no children; if it meant loss. The fear just slowly faded away. Then we had our first-born son, Ben, who we did take home from the hospital. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a day that came when you gave birth again; and this time, they handed you a baby that was a healthy baby. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was that experience like for you after miscarriages and after Elizabeth\u2019s birth? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Carrying my son, Benjamin, was fearful. I think every pregnancy after that was fearful. All the questions: \u201cWill something be wrong?\u201d \u201cWill we lose him?\u201d It took me years in our marriage to shake fear off my back and to give it over to God and say: \u201cNo more. You [fear] will have no part of me,\u201d but it took a long time. I think that is somewhat normal for women who have repeated loss in pregnancy, like with any area of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen he was born, he was another miracle. We had problems with the pregnancy for Benjamin as well. When he was born, full of life, it was amazing\u2014it was an amazing experience. I spent a lot of time holding him\u2014I would not lay him down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September<\/strong>: \u2014just a lot of valuable time. He and I became very close. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014not just after delivery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; right. Yes; he\u2019s my son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You didn\u2019t want to let go. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; I did not want to let go of that boy. Unfortunately, that poor boy has gone on\u2014he\u2019s like, \u201cMom, let go.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In that moment, did motherhood become different for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Motherhood became the reality of what motherhood is to many women now. To me, motherhood had meant loss. Now, motherhood was: \u201cThis is work,\u201d \u201cThis is sleeplessness,\u201d \u201cThis is love,\u201d \u201cThis is amazing,\u201d \u201cThis is hard,\u201d\u2014all of those things that motherhood\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014people know motherhood to be. I was loving every minute of it. I think that\u2019s what happens when you go through a lot of loss. The hard was very dim for me\u2014like it didn\u2019t feel as hard as people were talking, because I was <em>so thankful<\/em> to have him that it just seemed inconsequential\u2014like the hard stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, maybe there is a point to be made there for every mom, who is in the middle of the hard,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: \u2014to remember: \u201cYes; this is hard\u2014we\u2019re not denying that\u2014but God\u2019s given you a <em>blessing<\/em> here\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthat is <em>incalculable<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> It is. It is hard to understand until you <em>don\u2019t<\/em> have it. I think that is what put such a huge value to me. Of course, you have to move on and live this hard motherhood stuff. The more we added, the harder it got. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I get that. You\u2019ve reminded us of Psalm 127: 3-4: \u201cBehold children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one\u2019s youth.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don\u2019t know this about us, most likely, but one of the first grandchildren we had born\u2014not the very first, but kind of the first batch\u2014was a little girl named Molly, who lived seven days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s her footprints on Psalm 127: 3-4\u2014are the only thing we have of her in my Bible. I can kind of identify with your hour. I\u2019m not a mom, but I held Molly on the seventh day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a great privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, every mom\/every dad ought to go home and hug their kids tonight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I agree; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, the story of your loss\u2014it\u2019s not the central story of your book\u2014but it\u2019s a part of the journey that God has had you and Dan on, as parents. But there\u2019s a lot in your book that I think provides encouragement and hope. It is, as you describe it, an invitation to purposeful parenting, which is something that we resonate with, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We\u2019ve got copies of September\u2019s book, <em>Why Motherhood Matters<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s also information available on our website about FamilyLife\u2019s new <em>Art of <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Parenting<\/em>\u2122 video series and about the book from Dennis and Barbara Rainey called <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. Those resources are available as well. You can order them when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or order by phone at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe scene we\u2019ve been talking about today\u2014why motherhood matters \/ why parenting matters\u2014you think about the culture we live in. I really think a mom\u2019s role is devalued in this culture. I think parenting is, not neglected, but sometimes it\u2019s mis-prioritized\u2014parents are busy, but not necessarily busy about the right stuff. Here, at FamilyLife, what we\u2019re committed to is regularly providing you with encouragement and practical biblical help and hope to keep you anchored in God\u2019s design for marriage and family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make this ministry possible. You make it possible for people, all around the world, to access <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> articles\/resources\u2014to take part in the events that we host. We\u2019re listener-supported; and your donations to this ministry open the door for people, all around the world, to get the help and hope they\u2019re looking for. \u201cThanks,\u201d on behalf of those who are benefiting from this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by sending you an audio book. It\u2019s a dramatized retelling of the Thanksgiving story based on the book that Barbara Rainey has written called <em>Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. The audio book is our gift to you when you donate today at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate your support and hope you and your family enjoy listening to the dramatic story of the first Thanksgiving as a part of your celebration this year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow. September McCarthy\u2019s going to be here again. We\u2019re going to continue talking about the priority of motherhood and how easy it is to become distracted by lesser things as you\u2019re raising your kids. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:55"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.56M"],"filesize_raw":["26797212"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300451.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300451.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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McCarthy's first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and their second child also died shortly after birth. God used those transforming moments to show her the sacred in the suffering and to change her heart.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Early in her second pregnancy, September McCarthy remembers being at her doctor\u2019s office when she and her husband received some very disturbing news about her pregnancy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> They said: \u201cYou could go into labor at six months. You could carry her full term, but she won\u2019t live very long\u2014it could be ten minutes. She might not even make it through delivery; she could be stillborn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe carried her nine months, and we had an hour. [Emotion in voice] You know, delivering a breech baby is hard. I can just remember my husband getting right in my face and saying: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do this together. God is right here, September.\u201d When she was born, and they handed me her and she opened her eyes, it was almost like the Holy Spirit was just right there; and everything in the room faded away. I can never replicate that moment. I had a peace that passes all understanding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, November 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There are seasons of profound grief and heartache that we can face in our parenting journey. There are seasons of unspeakable joy as well. We\u2019ll hear more about both sides of parenting from our guest today, September McCarthy. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I shared with you about my grand-parenting adventure last night a little bit; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It will never make it on the air, folks. [Laughter] I wish we could play this story. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just\u2014In a quick version\u2014I was grand-parenting for two children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014two and under. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014two and under. And I had them, basically, for two waking hours before I had them both put to bed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What a pro! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Pretty much the <em>whole<\/em> focus of those two waking hours was feeding and then taking care of what happens after you feed the kids. [Laughter] That was pretty much what I spent my time doing. Here\u2019s the reason I brought that up, because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; what is the reason? Are you looking for a martyr award or something? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; the reason I brought it up because I had a moment, where I thought\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know what this is?\u2014this is the world\u2019s smallest violin. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dennis is just giving me no sympathy. [Laughter] I had this momentary thought: \u201cThere are moms, who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and that\u2019s not a two-hour experience that they have, you know, once a month. That\u2019s what they live with, day in and day out. Then they just go, \u2018This is my life!\u2014is to feed and then to clean my child.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you have more compassion on MaryAnn as a result of your two-hour duty last night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m sure, if I sat and thought about it long enough, yes; I would develop more compassion. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> His compassion molecule just showed up. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I was just having compassion on <em>me<\/em> for doing my two hours\u2019 worth. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we want to cheer on moms today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; we do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And we have a mom, who is here on the broadcast, who was born in September and <em>named<\/em> after September by her mom and dad. September McCarthy joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s an honor to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has written a book called <em>Why Motherhood Matters: An Invitation to Purposeful Parenting. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are well beyond the diaper stage of parenting; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> We are well beyond that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you remember it; don\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; it wasn\u2019t long ago\u2014just sixth years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, she better be beyond it because they have ten\u2014count them\u2014ten children, ages seven to twenty-six\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014four grandchildren. She\u2019s been married to Dan the Builder\u2014that\u2019s what he does, but that\u2019s also kind of her nickname in her book for her husband Dan\u2014since 1989. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now you know, September, there are some moms listening, who just tuned out when they heard you have ten kids; because it\u2019s kind of like, \u201cOh, she\u2019s one of those kinds of amazing moms\u2014those super moms.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Are you a three-ring circus mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; nope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, come on!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Five\u2014maybe five-ring. [Laughter] It\u2019s crazy at our house. We are the real deal\u2014real, you know, story. When I travel and speak, and people hear my bio and I introduce myself as a mom of ten, I can see the shades come right down over their faces; and they kind of tune me out. So [now] I don\u2019t even tell anyone anything about me when I start talking, because I want them to know I\u2019m just like them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Whether you\u2019re raising one or ten\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the realities of motherhood\u2014there are parallels that every mom experiences; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What would you say is the <em>biggest<\/em> challenge of being a mom of ten?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Just the conversation\u2014just keeping up with everyone\u2019s lives\u2014like knowing where they are, all at the same time. When they come back and talk to me, remembering who\u2019s doing what\u2014what\u2019s going on in their life\u2014remembering I\u2019m living with <em>ten<\/em> different personalities. I have to\u2014it\u2019s my job to remember and make them feel important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So do you have Find a Friend\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Find Your Friend app on your phone? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; but that is a <em>great<\/em> idea! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would have it on every one of the kids who have the devices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Or just have a collar around their neck. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>We have left a few at church before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>September, I want to go back to 1989, when you and Dan got married. Did you guys talk and both of you look at each other and say, \u201cI want as many kids as we can have\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Never\u2014we never did that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was that in your heart at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; motherhood was not on my radar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now wait!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Seriously?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Seriously; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was it something you weren\u2019t interested in at all?\u2014were you opposed to it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I wasn\u2019t opposed to it. I just was not trained or raised to think that it might be an integral part of my future. I think a lot of women think: \u201cThat\u2019s to come. That probably will happen. That is part of what is in the future.\u201d But to me, it wasn\u2019t something that I ever focused or was raised to be a good mom. When we got married, it was just bliss. You know, we were young and I wasn\u2019t thinking: \u201cI\u2019m going to be a mom someday,\u201d and \u201cI want to be a mom someday.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy book is a <em>learning<\/em> experience. You know, it was something God walked with me and taught me. I\u2019m eager to share it; because I want other women, who may have come into motherhood and been surprised and caught off guard\u2014or even those that thought they were prepared and are entering motherhood\u2014and they\u2019re thinking, \u201cThis is <em>not<\/em> what I thought it was going to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you think your path would be a career path with kids fitting in around that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I went to school to be a teacher, and dropped out of college, and married a builder; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we started a family with loss. At that point, I just did not think motherhood was on my radar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; talk about starting a family with loss, because that\u2019s a key part of this story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Well, you know, I didn\u2019t think that motherhood was going to be part of my future. When we found out we were expecting, it was a mix of anxiety and excitement. It grew to be excitement. We had a miscarriage shortly into our marriage. Then we found out we were expecting another baby\u2014a little girl. That\u2019s a long story, and that\u2019s a part of my book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what happened in all of our loss is\u2014I realized, deep down, when I was in pain and suffering, that God obviously had something that was birthed in me that He put there as a desire; because I was missing it, and longing it, and wondering, \u201cWhy did this happen?\u201d instead of thinking, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t plan on being a mother.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t ever think that when we lose a baby. I realized that motherhood must matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That second pregnancy\u2014that daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; Elizabeth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You learned, while she was still in utero, that she had no kidneys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right; four months in, we went to the doctor\u2014I was alone; Dan was at work. The doctor pulled me aside and he said: \u201cI recommend that you have an abortion. Your baby won\u2019t live. She has no kidneys.\u201d I kind of walked out of that office very numb, thinking, \u201cWhat choice do I have?\u201d Then I went home, and Dan and I grieved together\u2014we grieved very <em>deeply<\/em>; we kind of secluded ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen a great Christian couple, who kind of mentored us, came alongside us and said: \u201cYou need to share this. You need to let God use this.\u201d That was a foreign concept to my mind\u2014I\u2019m thinking: \u201cLet God use this? I\u2019m carrying this baby that\u2019s going to die.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband and I\u2014we put in a lot of prayer, and we chose to carry that baby\u2014our little girl, Elizabeth\u2014for another six months. We delivered her\u2014a breech delivery\u2014and she lived an hour. I will never forget that moment. You know, it was the most glorious moment of my entire life; because I could sense the presence of the Lord saying, \u201cYou didn\u2019t have to carry her.\u201d We had that time with her\u2014we were able to spend that time, looking in her eyes. I remember thinking, \u201cMotherhood matters.\u201d I learned that very early on\u2014I was only 19 at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tElizabeth is with the Lord; we had a few more miscarriages after that. That was the beginning of my motherhood journey\u2014was loss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want you to just unpack where you were, spiritually, when you started your marriage. I mean, at 19\u2014I\u2019m not sure I was in the ball game at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You talked about how the concept of allowing God to use suffering in your life for His purposes was foreign. I get that\u2014at that age, you\u2019ve got the whole of your life to look forward to. You don\u2019t think it\u2019s going to happen to you. Share with our listeners where you were at that point and how God has used motherhood to perform heart surgery on you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; motherhood has been sanctifying for me. I was not raised in a very strong Christian home, where you live out what you know. This concept of suffering and drawing closer to the Lord through moments like this was foreign. I didn\u2019t even understand what that person meant when they said to me, \u201cLet the Lord use this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs our marriage and time together in losing children\u2014even in the future, we lost more pregnancies\u2014I realized that my faith needed to be real for <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt couldn\u2019t just be: \u201cI\u2019m a Christian. I\u2019m married. We\u2019re a godly couple.\u201d Really, we were a couple that knew the Lord; but I wanted to be that godly person that understood what Christ meant when He said, \u201cShare in My suffering.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat grew me. It forced me in a path to open the Word of God and to dig in and to understand what His principles were and what they meant. That was how my spiritual journey\u2014in sync with motherhood\u2014kind of grew and expanded my knowledge about the Word of God. I just want to encourage others, who have gone through a loss\u2014just <em>choose<\/em> to draw close to the Lord, because He\u2019s the only that\u2019s going to hold you through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to go back to that one hour you had with Elizabeth; because I can imagine a woman in that moment, saying: \u201cI never want to open myself up to the possibility of this kind of heartache again,\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t want to get pregnant.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid you feel any of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> All of that; right\u2014all of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A big risk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> It is a big risk, even after you have a miscarriage. That\u2019s the normal feeling\u2014our bodies, our mental state, our emotions\u2014of course, it does take time to heal\u2014you have to let yourself heal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in that one hour\u2014you know, it was really a supernatural thing. [Emotion in voice] It\u2019s amazing\u2014because I talk about this all the time, but when I think about that one hour\u2014you know, delivering a breech baby is hard. I was only 19, so that was my first delivery. They say women\u2019s deliveries get easier, the more you know \/ the more you do this. But this was my first baby. I can remember thinking, \u201cThis is never going to end.\u201d It was <em>very<\/em> painful. [Tears] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you walk through pain and suffering, and it\u2019s physical, it becomes more spiritual.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> When it was time to deliver Elizabeth\u2014and we had no pain medication back in that day\u2014I can just remember my husband getting right in my face and saying: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do this together. God is right here, September.\u201d It was not an easy delivery, and the doctors had to manipulate her out. When she was born, and they handed me her and she opened her eyes, it was almost like the Holy Spirit was just right there; and everything in the room faded away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September: <\/strong>I can never replicate that moment. I had a peace that passes all understanding. It was like the calm after the storm, which is so hard to explain. Because when you\u2019ve gone through something like that, people think, \u201cThat is the storm\u2014when you lose your baby.\u201d But that was the peaceful part\u2014you know, just holding her and knowing that I had given birth, and made a choice, and that God gave us that moment. He gave us that moment, and I knew that I was going to have to give her back to the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when it was time, the doctors told me, \u201cSeptember, you don\u2019t have a whole lot of time left with her.\u201d I looked up; and there in the room to my right\u2014and I tell my husband this, and I haven\u2019t shared this with a lot of people\u2014it was like there was an angel standing right there. She [Elizabeth] just closed her eyes, and she went to be with Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was this amazing strength that came over me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI literally just got out of bed and showered and dressed, and my body had just been through a <em>very<\/em> physical trial. The nurses were like: \u201cHoney, sit down. It\u2019s okay.\u201d I said, \u201cNo; I\u2019m really\u2014I\u2019m ready to move on.\u201d I didn\u2019t mean move on, emotionally\u2014I just had this strength. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe hardest part was looking at my husband and watching him watch me suffer. Suffering in this was not just a strengthening of my faith\u2014it was a strengthening of our marriage. Dan and I have always\u2014our marriage has always been about drawing closer to one another through these times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you found out that you were pregnant, again, after\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I was afraid. Right; I was afraid. I lived in a lot of fear for many years. It affected our physical relationship\u2014it affected everything\u2014because I didn\u2019t want to find out that I was pregnant again. I didn\u2019t want to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I did not want to have to say good-bye again. It takes a long time to break a cycle of fear. You know, fear can affect your spiritual life, your marriage, your motherhood; and I did <em>not<\/em> want to live in fear\u2014it took me captive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did\u2014we found out we were pregnant again. We had another miscarriage, and that led to some bitterness in my life. I became kind of bitter at motherhood. I didn\u2019t understand: \u201cIf this is what God meant for motherhood, I didn\u2019t want to have <em>anything<\/em> to do with it.\u201d You know, I\u2019m not afraid to say that; because I want women to know that there\u2019s a real face to grieving\u2014you know, it\u2019s a real thing. The most important thing is, though, that you don\u2019t stay in that place\u2014you know, that there\u2019s a hope that we can hold on to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDan and I worked slowly out of that, and we clung to the Lord. We just spent more time in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe became better communicators with one another and trying to figure out how we were going to navigate the rest of our marriage if this is what it meant\u2014if it meant no children; if it meant loss. The fear just slowly faded away. Then we had our first-born son, Ben, who we did take home from the hospital. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a day that came when you gave birth again; and this time, they handed you a baby that was a healthy baby. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was that experience like for you after miscarriages and after Elizabeth\u2019s birth? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Carrying my son, Benjamin, was fearful. I think every pregnancy after that was fearful. All the questions: \u201cWill something be wrong?\u201d \u201cWill we lose him?\u201d It took me years in our marriage to shake fear off my back and to give it over to God and say: \u201cNo more. You [fear] will have no part of me,\u201d but it took a long time. I think that is somewhat normal for women who have repeated loss in pregnancy, like with any area of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen he was born, he was another miracle. We had problems with the pregnancy for Benjamin as well. When he was born, full of life, it was amazing\u2014it was an amazing experience. I spent a lot of time holding him\u2014I would not lay him down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September<\/strong>: \u2014just a lot of valuable time. He and I became very close. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014not just after delivery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; right. Yes; he\u2019s my son. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You didn\u2019t want to let go. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> No; I did not want to let go of that boy. Unfortunately, that poor boy has gone on\u2014he\u2019s like, \u201cMom, let go.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In that moment, did motherhood become different for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Motherhood became the reality of what motherhood is to many women now. To me, motherhood had meant loss. Now, motherhood was: \u201cThis is work,\u201d \u201cThis is sleeplessness,\u201d \u201cThis is love,\u201d \u201cThis is amazing,\u201d \u201cThis is hard,\u201d\u2014all of those things that motherhood\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014people know motherhood to be. I was loving every minute of it. I think that\u2019s what happens when you go through a lot of loss. The hard was very dim for me\u2014like it didn\u2019t feel as hard as people were talking, because I was <em>so thankful<\/em> to have him that it just seemed inconsequential\u2014like the hard stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, maybe there is a point to be made there for every mom, who is in the middle of the hard,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: \u2014to remember: \u201cYes; this is hard\u2014we\u2019re not denying that\u2014but God\u2019s given you a <em>blessing<\/em> here\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthat is <em>incalculable<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> It is. It is hard to understand until you <em>don\u2019t<\/em> have it. I think that is what put such a huge value to me. Of course, you have to move on and live this hard motherhood stuff. The more we added, the harder it got. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I get that. You\u2019ve reminded us of Psalm 127: 3-4: \u201cBehold children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one\u2019s youth.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don\u2019t know this about us, most likely, but one of the first grandchildren we had born\u2014not the very first, but kind of the first batch\u2014was a little girl named Molly, who lived seven days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s her footprints on Psalm 127: 3-4\u2014are the only thing we have of her in my Bible. I can kind of identify with your hour. I\u2019m not a mom, but I held Molly on the seventh day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> Yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a great privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, every mom\/every dad ought to go home and hug their kids tonight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>September:<\/strong> I agree; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, the story of your loss\u2014it\u2019s not the central story of your book\u2014but it\u2019s a part of the journey that God has had you and Dan on, as parents. But there\u2019s a lot in your book that I think provides encouragement and hope. It is, as you describe it, an invitation to purposeful parenting, which is something that we resonate with, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We\u2019ve got copies of September\u2019s book, <em>Why Motherhood Matters<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s also information available on our website about FamilyLife\u2019s new <em>Art of <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Parenting<\/em>\u2122 video series and about the book from Dennis and Barbara Rainey called <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. Those resources are available as well. You can order them when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or order by phone at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe scene we\u2019ve been talking about today\u2014why motherhood matters \/ why parenting matters\u2014you think about the culture we live in. I really think a mom\u2019s role is devalued in this culture. I think parenting is, not neglected, but sometimes it\u2019s mis-prioritized\u2014parents are busy, but not necessarily busy about the right stuff. Here, at FamilyLife, what we\u2019re committed to is regularly providing you with encouragement and practical biblical help and hope to keep you anchored in God\u2019s design for marriage and family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make this ministry possible. You make it possible for people, all around the world, to access <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> articles\/resources\u2014to take part in the events that we host. We\u2019re listener-supported; and your donations to this ministry open the door for people, all around the world, to get the help and hope they\u2019re looking for. \u201cThanks,\u201d on behalf of those who are benefiting from this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by sending you an audio book. It\u2019s a dramatized retelling of the Thanksgiving story based on the book that Barbara Rainey has written called <em>Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>. The audio book is our gift to you when you donate today at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate your support and hope you and your family enjoy listening to the dramatic story of the first Thanksgiving as a part of your celebration this year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow. September McCarthy\u2019s going to be here again. We\u2019re going to continue talking about the priority of motherhood and how easy it is to become distracted by lesser things as you\u2019re raising your kids. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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