{"id":300443,"date":"2018-11-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-11-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/finding-peace-in-parenting\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:37","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:37","slug":"finding-peace-in-parenting","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-peace-in-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Peace in Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Eryn Lynum tells how the gift of a jar of 936 pennies at her son&#8217;s baby dedication transformed her family&#8217;s life by keep them intentionally focused on the importance of each passing day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:08","filesize":"25.76M","filesize_raw":"27011725","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2881],"tags":[4611,4612,2209,4353],"podcast_series":[7261],"cwp_profile":[3540],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300443","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-young-children","tag-intentional-parenting","tag-mundane","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children","podcast_series-936-pennies","cwp_profile-eryn-lynum","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300443\/finding-peace-in-parenting","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300443\/finding-peace-in-parenting","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"KUmrrf7tuz\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-peace-in-parenting\/\">Finding Peace in Parenting<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-peace-in-parenting\/embed\/#?secret=KUmrrf7tuz\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding Peace in Parenting&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"KUmrrf7tuz\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Eryn Lynum tells how the gift of a jar of 936 pennies at her son's baby dedication transformed her family's life by keep them intentionally focused on the importance of each passing day.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-11-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Eryn Lynum learned an important lesson as she was raising her firstborn. She began to realize that, as his mom, she could influence what really matters most to him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> We really decided to be more intentional around screen time when he was about four years old. It\u2019s a struggle at first; but at this point, now, he would actually default to playing outside or to reading a book. When I do allow it\u2014when I ask him to turn it off, there is no argument; he just slips it off. Now, the three-year-old\u2014that would be a different story. There are still some tantrums, but we have stuck with this long enough that he just knows that: \u201cNo; it\u2019s a treat. It\u2019s not something to feast on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Part of our job, as moms and dads, is to point our kids <em>toward<\/em> things that will help them flourish and limit those things that might not be as beneficial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that today with Eryn Lynum. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. In an average week, when you were raising your children, how many moments of purpose were there in that week? Do you know what I\u2019m talking about?\u2014as opposed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, if I answer that question, it means I have to review. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014every week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have to review all the weeks\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, no, no, no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014of 29 years of raising kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t have to do that. I\u2019m just talking <em>in general<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and sequentially put them in order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m trying to help parents get an idea here. When you think about being purposeful and intentional, as a parent: \u201cIs that a <em>daily<\/em> task?\u2014or is that something, where you go, \u2018You know, we need to do something purposeful this <em>week<\/em>,\u2019 or \u2018\u2026this month\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a grid; it\u2019s a grid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think you can make it a checklist. I think you have to put it as a grid; so when you are running errands, you\u2019re looking for ways to teach your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you\u2019re headed to church, after you\u2019ve had a fight about getting into the car on time, you then talk about forgiveness; so it\u2019s a spiritual purpose at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying this is a mindset you need to develop,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014as a parent, so that you are <em>always<\/em> asking the question: \u201cDo I have an opportunity to be intentional here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest with us who, I believe, would whole-heartedly say that\u2019s what she does. Eryn Lynum joins us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Thank you. Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you agree? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Oh, yes; yes, I certainly agree. It is about that mindset\u2014that heart-set \/ that perspective\u2014more than what we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has written a book called <em>936 Pennies: Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting<\/em>. It all came about as a result of your second child being dedicated at church. Explain that to our listeners again, if you would, please. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes; of course. We were having our son dedicated and vowing before our church that we would raise him to know and follow the Lord, by God\u2019s grace and help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur pastor gave us a jar of pennies\u2014936 pennies\u2014and explained that each one represents one week that you have with your child between birth and 18. It\u2019s this concept of learning to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom in that context of parenting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Since we talked earlier, I thought that was really wise of your pastor; because, if he had given you a jar full of pennies for the days, that would have been over 50,000 pennies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Eryn:<\/strong> I think we would have gone over budget that year in church. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. Nobody would have been able to carry that one home\u2014that would have been way too heavy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; that\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think the imagery here is a great image. In fact, it\u2019d make a great gift for parents of newborns\u2014to give them a jar\u2014and also give them a copy of Eryn\u2019s book, <em>936 Pennies<\/em>. We asked you earlier, Eryn, \u201cWhere in your book\u2014what topics have you found that parents most identify with?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou listed two. The first being parents finding peace\u2014what are you talking about there? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Well, I know for me, as a parent of young children\u2014but really parents in any season\u2014peace is hard to come by. I believe that one of Satan\u2019s <em>biggest<\/em> strategies against families is uprooting the peace of parents, because we are called to peace\u2014the Scriptures say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, it all came about when I was reading one day in Proverbs. Proverbs 12:20 says, \u201cThose who plan for peace have joy.\u201d That little word in there\u2014\u201cThose who <em>plan<\/em> for peace\u201d\u2014changed my perspective because I realized, especially in this current season of mine, that peace is not arrived at on a whim or a wish. It is certainly something we have to make a <em>strategy<\/em> toward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s define what you mean by peace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; are you talking about tranquility?\u2014or are you talking about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014contentment? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014reconciled relationships? What peace are you talking about? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Are you talking about peace and quiet? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes; I know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That is what my mom would have said when I was a boy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Definitely; tranquility makes me laugh a little bit, because I picture my home. [Laughter] That\u2019s <em>not<\/em> at all what I believe it is; because there is so much mess, and chaos, and noise in parenting. Parenting is meant to be messy, because it\u2019s meant to show us that Jesus meets us right there in the mess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for me, it has been this: \u201cOkay; what is the peace that Christ calls us to? What does that look like <em>amidst<\/em> the mess and <em>amidst<\/em> the chaos? What does it look like?\u2014that when I am struggling in my parenting with big questions, with frustrations, with impatience\u2014what does it look like to be rooted in Christ?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother verse that really struck me in this manner is in Psalm 103\u2014it says that: \u201cAs for man, he is but grass. As a flower, he flourishes. The wind passes, and it is swept away.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, it was that vision of\u2014we are but handbreadths. It comes back to that element of time. Our lives are fleeting; but for me, it was those three words: \u201c\u2026so he flourishes\u201d \/ \u201c\u2026so she flourishes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I look at my life and I realize that my days are numbered, what does it look like to <em>flourish<\/em> in my motherhood? And the root of that word can mean \u201cto gleam.\u201d What does it look like, as a mother, to <em>gleam<\/em> for my children \/ for my husband? It\u2019s not being shaken by the circumstances of my everyday life; it\u2019s not being overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done and by the rush and the pace of the society. It is being rooted in my identity in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, there is a lot about being a parent that can disrupt your peace and that can create anxiety and stress\u2014can cause you to wonder if you are really anchored in something that is going to help you hang on. Have you felt that as a mom? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Oh my goodness; yes. It made me think about when my daughter was born. She\u2019s four months old today, and the end of my pregnancy was very rocky. I went in at 33 weeks pregnant with some minor contractions, and they admitted me straight away and nearly took her out via C-section. My husband and I were there overnight. Her heart was not doing well, and the doctor was very concerned. They released me the next day, but they watched me and my daughter like a hawk for the rest of the pregnancy. She made it to 37 weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that first night in the hospital, being so shaken up\u2014not knowing how my baby\u2019s doing\u2014and those weeks\u2014four weeks of constant monitoring and \u201cIs she okay?\u201d and \u201cIs she not?\u201d\u2014I felt the presence and the peace of God, probably, in a deeper way than I ever have before; because I just knew that He was there and that He calls us not to fear but to boldly approach Him on behalf of our children and <em>believe<\/em> in Him for miracles, because He is a God of miracles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2014that can certainly give you peace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Eryn, I\u2019m going back to the verse you read earlier. I just want to read it to our listeners again: \u201cThose who plan peace have joy.\u201d You don\u2019t plan peace in the middle of those four weeks. You\u2019re going to the bank on what you have built into your soul\u2014your knowledge of who God is \/ your knowledge of Scripture: how you have built it into your heart and your mind\u2014and you are also basing it on your faith, which you have exercised over, and over, and over again throughout your adult life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I want our listeners to hear: \u201cYou don\u2019t build a roof that prevents the rain coming into your house in the middle of the storm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cYou\u2019ve got to build in anticipation of the storm,\u201d\u2014and they will happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes. Yes; certainly. For me, a big strategy that helped me to just return to that peace in Christ during that scary time was meditating on ways He has been faithful in the past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see that all throughout Scripture\u2014our God has a history of faithfulness\u2014so looking back to His faithfulness in the Scripture\u2014and looking back and listing out specific ways \/ writing down specific ways that He has been faithful to me and my family. That does so much\u2014that in those moments, you have that foundation of God\u2019s faithfulness to fall back on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great strategy. What else have you done?\u2014or if you were sitting down with a young, anxious mom right now, and she said, \u201cHow do I get to the peace that is lacking in my life?\u201d what would you tell her? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> In the book, I map out this strategy I began after I read that verse in Proverbs: \u201cThose who plan for peace have joy.\u201d I mention that word, plan, is the one that struck me\u2014so I thought, \u201cWhat does it look like to plan for peace?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, it\u2019s a two-step process. First, I need to put a name to the things that are uprooting my peace and specifically name them. I call these my \u201cpeace thieves.\u201d Once I have <em>named<\/em> those\u2014that\u2019s a powerful thing. If begins to strip them of their power, because then I can make a strategy to combat those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat this has specifically looked like in my life is: I sit down, once a month, and I take a good look at my heart, and a good look at my home, and my circumstances. I ask myself, \u201cWhat is uprooting my peace?\u201d Things that have been on my list have been: \u201cLooking at my phone too often,\u201d \u201cChecking my email too often,\u201d\u2014there are a lot of them around technology. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one of mine was my snooze button in the mornings; because I knew\u2014especially with young children\u2014if I could get up just a little bit before them, and spend some time in the Word, and in prayer, and in worship, the whole culture of my home would change; and there would be a lot more peace\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but I just kept hitting that snooze button, like religion, until there are children on top of me, asking me why breakfast is not made. That\u2019s <em>not<\/em> a peaceful way to start your day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut once I had some of those <em>named<\/em>, I was able to say, \u201cOkay; what small changes in my life would make that a different scenario?\u201d For me, it has meant getting up before the kids\u2014and that is still a struggle\u2014but it\u2019s on my plan, so I keep working at it. There have been small ones like going on family walks after dinner. So, we like to do things like writing onto our calendar when we\u2019re going on hikes or when we\u2019re going camping, so we make sure that it happens. I\u2019ll write down\u2014instead of just \u201ctime in the Word,\u201d I write down: \u201cI\u2019m going to read through Isaiah this month.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is these small changes that add up. Just like revisiting our family values, it\u2019s a list that has to be revisited; because new peace thieves sneak in. I need to constantly reevaluate my heart and make those small changes, month to month. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mention that technology can be a peace thief. Technology can be more than that. In fact, it\u2019s one of the things that you talk about in the book. Technology is not necessarily a good investment of your pennies each week; is it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> No; certainly. I\u2019m not anti-technology, for sure; but when I was writing the book, I began to do some research into: \u201cHow much time, on average, does a child spend with a screen between birth and 18?\u201d What I found was astonishing\u2014that in those 936 weeks, the average child spends 205 waking weeks with technology or with a screen\u2014that\u2019s 22 percent of their childhood. When I had that number, I knew that we could not leave our family to default; because the average child\u2014it\u2019s six hours a day that they are with a device. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it\u2019s not just about taking things away\u2014it\u2019s not a negative\u2014I want to make it a positive; so when you don\u2019t have a device in your hands, what can I replace it with? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan I replace it with a good book?\u2014with a hiking stick?\u2014with a stirring spoon? What can I replace technology time with that creates those highlight moments for my children? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, in your house, your seven-year-old is probably the most screen adept of your children; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, your seven-year-old son\u2014would he default to the screen on his own if he didn\u2019t have anything else to do? Is that what he\u2019s drawn toward? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> You know, I think every child has that draw to that entertainment factor; but it\u2019s been so interesting. We really decided to be more intentional around screen time when he was about four years old. It was a struggle at first; but at this point, now, he would actually default to playing outside or to reading a book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I do allow them TV\u2014of course, we allow them some TV\u2014when I do allow it, when I ask him to turn it off; there\u2019s no argument. He just slips it off. Now, the three-year-old\u2014that would be a different story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are still some tantrums, but we have stuck with this long enough that he just knows that: \u201cNo; it\u2019s a treat. It\u2019s not something to feast on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what are the rules at the Lynum house when it comes to screens? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Mom and Dad control it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Eryn:<\/strong> We say when it goes on \/ when it goes off; and for the most part, we always pick the programs, or they have to pick programs that we know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you talking about TV?\u2014are you talking about an iPad?\u2014are you talking about a computer? What are you talking about?\u2014all of those things? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> No; they only have experience with a TV. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> They\u2019ve used an iPad at the library, but that\u2019s all. They are not allowed to use our phones or anything like that. It\u2019s just something that we knew we wanted to start off young. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, your seven-year-old\u2014if you are on a trip up into the mountains, he doesn\u2019t have an iPad that he can play with? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> No, no; we want them to see the mountains. There have been times, of course, when we\u2019ll flip on a DVD in the car; but for the most part, we don\u2019t. In fact, we did a road trip from Colorado up to the upper peninsula of Michigan, where my husband\u2019s family lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s a long way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes; and on that trip was also a trip to Minnesota and Wisconsin and all the way back. We got home and we realized they haven\u2019t used the DVD player at all. It was such a sweet thing. We just give them a pile of books. Kids have that natural curiosity\u2014that if you give them a book\u2014and it may take some retraining\u2014that they are entertained with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If Barbara were here, she would be nodding her head\u2014I promise you. She believed in getting the kids in good books. If you did play a media device, it was back to <em>The<\/em> <em>Chronicles of Narnia<\/em>, which was a book on tape\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes; oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014not just entertainment\u2014but entertainment that was telling a story that enlarged their mind and their hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just believed in whatever made the car quiet. [Laughter] That was kind of my\u2014I think a lot of parents are just like: \u201cI just want whatever works that will give me..\u201d\u2014we\u2019re back to peace\u2014\u201cI want some peace in the car on the way here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you\u2019re saying, \u201cIf the way you\u2019re buying peace for your child is two hours of driving, where they are playing a game on an iPad, there is something wrong with that\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> I think the time could be used in a better manner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, I know this is just theoretical, at this point, because your oldest is approaching the eighth year of his life. When do you think you will allow your child to have a device? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> That is a good question. Honestly, we want to hold it off as long as we can; and for some parents\u2014myself included\u2014there are those thoughts of: \u201cWell, it\u2019s a tech-savvy world. We\u2019re going to deprive them. They have to learn these things\u201d; but the truth is they are going to learn them at some point. I\u2019m really not afraid of depriving them of this knowledge. I want them to learn how to be stewards of their time and relationships <em>first<\/em> before I teach them about how to use technology. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I haven\u2019t asked you this yet, but you\u2019ve got to be homeschooling your kids; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> We are; correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because if your kids are going to kindergarten or first grade, that makes the whole tech-management a bigger\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s a harder deal at that point; isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> But what you can control is in your home. If they are going to school and they are having this access to media, well then, you can make some new rules at home that is going to lessen that time at home and build those relationships at home; and that\u2019s the place of foundation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m also thinking that your kids are watching <em>you<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Oh, yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014so this means that you\u2019ve got to be disciplined about your screen time; doesn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She already confessed she had a problem with email and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and checking her phone too often. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Oh, I do; oh, I do. This has been the biggest struggle for <em>me<\/em>. I talk about it in the book\u2014because it was such a struggle for me\u2014I have to ask myself, \u201cWhat is in my hands?\u201d because I want my children to be intentional about what is in <em>their<\/em> hands. If I want them to spend their time holding the hand of their daddy, or holding a good book, or holding a pen and paper, then those are the things that I need to be doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI need to be holding my husband\u2019s hand before I\u2019m holding my phone, and it is a struggle. This is something that has been one of those things I have to constantly revisit and reevaluate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you know there are some moms who, about five minutes ago, just said, \u201cOkay; I just tuned out of this whole thing; because this camping and hiking in the mountains, and no screen time\u201d\u2014and it\u2019s like: \u201cNo; that\u2019s just not who we are as a family.\u201d You\u2019ve met moms, who have different priorities. As you interact with those moms, you would just say to them: \u201cOkay; just how is it working for you? Is it reinforcing the values that you want for your family?\u2014and if not, maybe, rethink some of these things\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Yes; you do not have to move to the mountains to be intentional as a family\u2014that\u2019s just what we chose to do\u2014but you can make those subtle changes in your home that mean everything. You can start reading to your kids every day\u2014whether it\u2019s five minutes \/ whether it\u2019s ten minutes. Those times <em>matter<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can start changing the words you use in your home, and you can start parenting from that place of peace instead of that place of angst. It\u2019s not all about: \u201cYou need to uproot everything and start over.\u201d It really comes down to those small minor changes that are driven by those big values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just want to make sure we got the picture right. Your kids are not sitting on the sofa, with books, and folding their hands and just going: \u201cOh, we\u2014is there another book we could read, Mommy? We loved the last one. Could you read\u2026\u201d\u2014I mean, your kids come to you and say, \u201cI\u2019m bored\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Oh, yes; of course, they do! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you do?\u2014say, \u201cGo read a book\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> I point out the pile of books. One thing we like to do, of course, is library trips so that they have new material. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> But the sweet thing is\u2014they are getting to that age where we can read out loud to them and where they\u2019ll start listening\u2014the three-year-old, not so much\u2014so he is on my shoulders and jumping on the sofa; but he\u2019s still\u2014he\u2019s being modeled to with me reading to him and him seeing how his big brothers are interacting. They, at this point, will sit next to me; and they would read all day long\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they would let me read to them all day long. It just takes that training and patience as a toddler is jumping everywhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can just tell you\u2014from last night\u2019s experience with our three-year-old and four-year-old grandsons\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you babysitting right now? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are. We are babysitting. Is my martyr meter going off? I read <em>Goodnight Moon<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> Good one! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014with a <em>powerful<\/em> performance. [Laughter] It was not just <em>Goodnight Moon<\/em>. It was finding the mouse\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014in the house and the little old lady, who is whispering, \u201cHush.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sounds almost Shakespearean the way you\u2019re doing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eryn:<\/strong> I can taste the mush. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was\u2014it was fantastic! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want our listeners to know what Eryn has really challenged us to do here\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 12, verse 20: \u201cBut those who plan peace have joy.\u201d You are the parent. Your child needs a parent\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not a buddy \/ not a friend. It doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t have a friendship relationship with them; but you, first and foremost, have got to set a course. So, what\u2019s your application out of everything Eryn has shared today? What are you going to apply to your family that will make a difference so that you will have a plan for peace in your family? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This may be something that you need to spend a little more time thinking about \/ meditating on. Get a copy of Eryn\u2019s book, <em>936 Pennies<\/em>\u2014get your highlighter, or get your Bible and your journal\u2014and just get some time and go through this and ask God to speak to you as you work your way through this content. We\u2019ve got copies of Eryn\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Again, it\u2019s called <em>936 Pennies: Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting<\/em>. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are all about intentional parenting, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Dennis and Barbara have written a book called <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. There is a companion DVD series called the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup>, and it\u2019s all about the same thing\u2014being purposeful and intentional as we raise our kids. You can find out more about Dennis and Barbara\u2019s book and the DVD series when you go to our website. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you have any questions or if you\u2019d like to order over the phone: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this weekend, we\u2019ve got a big weekend happening with lots of couples\u2014thousands of couples\u2014who are going to be joining us for one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. We\u2019ve got getaways taking place in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania; in the Dallas area in Las Colinas; South Padre Island in Texas; Destin, Florida; also in Cedar Rapids, Iowa; in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho; Estes Park, Colorado; and Monterey, California. Would you pray with us for these couples as they spend a weekend at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>For those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife\u2014thanks for making these weekends possible for couples all across the country and in countries all around the world, where we are hosting <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. Your support of this ministry makes all that we do possible, including this radio program. So, thanks for extending the reach of this ministry through your support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we have a thank-you gift we\u2019d like to send you. It\u2019s the audio book for Barbara Rainey\u2019s <em>Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember<\/em>\u2014a book that is designed to be read aloud at Thanksgiving. Well, we have a dramatic retelling of that story that we\u2019d like to make available to you so you and your family can listen to it together, maybe, as you are travelling over the Thanksgiving holidays or just during family times. The audio book is our thank-you gift when you make a donation today, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is our number. We appreciate your partnership with us in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. Then, I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about giving thanks. Mary Mohler is going to be here to talk about how we grow in gratitude and how we help our children do that as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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