{"id":300437,"date":"2018-10-30T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-10-30T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-do-you-want-your-kids-to-be\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:36","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:36","slug":"what-do-you-want-your-kids-to-be","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-do-you-want-your-kids-to-be\/","title":{"rendered":"What Do You Want Your Kids to Be?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Dennis and Barbara Rainey | Series: Art of Parenting: What Every Parent Needs | Dennis and Barbara Rainey know a little about raising kids. They have six of their own and now have 20-plus grandkids. Today the Raineys remind us to carefully consider what kind of person they want their children to become and how they can cultivate those character qualities. The Raineys remember having differing values when they started their parenting journey, and tell how a weekend retreat gave them time to prioritize their top 10 so they could nourish those values in the lives of their children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey remind us to carefully consider what kind of person they want their children to become and how they can cultivate those character qualities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-30.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:41","filesize":"26.27M","filesize_raw":"27543643","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2806],"tags":[4605,4350,4607,4606,4608,2209,4609],"podcast_series":[7260],"cwp_profile":[3051],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300437","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-spiritual-development","tag-art-of-parenting","tag-character","tag-grow-in-your-faith","tag-modelling-character","tag-modelling-christ","tag-parenting","tag-sharing-christ-with-your-kids","podcast_series-art-of-parenting-what-every-parent-needs","cwp_profile-dennis-and-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300437\/what-do-you-want-your-kids-to-be","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300437\/what-do-you-want-your-kids-to-be","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"cGmGF9P1zd\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-do-you-want-your-kids-to-be\/\">What Do You Want Your Kids to Be?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-do-you-want-your-kids-to-be\/embed\/#?secret=cGmGF9P1zd\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What Do You Want Your Kids to Be?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"cGmGF9P1zd\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dennis and Barbara Rainey remind us to carefully consider what kind of person they want their children to become and how they can cultivate those character qualities.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-30.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you and your spouse have the same set of parenting priorities as you raise your children? Barbara Rainey remembers when she and her husband, Dennis, sat down and compared notes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> What was surprising to me was how different our lists were. I shouldn\u2019t have been surprised, because we had been flashing over this; but nonetheless, I think, when you get married, you think, \u201cOh, we have so much in common,\u201d\u2019 and then\u2014after a few years or maybe after the kids come along\u2014you realize, \u201cWell, maybe we\u2019re operating off of two different sets of instructions.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 30<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What can you do, as parents, to make sure you\u2019re on the same page and that your values are in sync together as you raise your children? We\u2019ll spend time talking to Dennis and Barbara Rainey about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re spending some time this week doing some pre-parenting counseling. We talked about the fact that a lot of couples get premarital counseling; and a lot of couples, when they\u2019re expecting a baby, go to birthing classes; but nobody\u2019s doing parenting classes. Well, we\u2019re doing parenting classes now with the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video series and with your new book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, that is now available. Your goal with that book, and our goal with the series, is to equip moms and dads to have a big-picture perspective on what God\u2019s calling them to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly. We\u2019re joined again on <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with Barbara. Welcome back to the broadcast, Sweetheart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you much! Glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the thing about children\u2014I think most of us look at our children way too simplistically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me depart from a conversation about children at this point and just talk about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. One of the things we do at the getaway is\u2014we cast marriage in the grand scheme of things\u2014of what God is up to on planet earth. We say to couples: \u201cYour marriage isn\u2019t just about two people trying to get their needs met. Your marriage is supposed to demonstrate who God is to a fallen planet. There are angels looking onto the planet\u2014they\u2019re in the audience, watching how you two handle your conflict.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you know what? The same thing is true about children. It\u2019s not just a little person\u2014you\u2019re talking about an eternal being. In the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series, which we just launched, we\u2019ve got a number of marriage and family experts in there, one of whom is Tim Kimmel. Tim and Darcy have been on the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> speaker team for a number of years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that he said in this series on the art of parenting was\u2014he said, \u201cI know how long children live. They\u2019re eternal! They last <em>forever<\/em>.\u201d That means, Bob, that they are worth so much more than any of us ever imagine at a point in time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s why we need to go back to the Book\u2014back to the Bible\u2014and just read and see how children are described. I\u2019m going to go to, I think, a classic passage in the Old Testament\u2014Psalm 127, verses 3-5, that describes children. It says: \u201cBehold! Children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward,\u201d\u2014not a curse, but a benefit\/a reward\u2014\u201cLike arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one\u2019s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe picture here\u2014I want every parent to imagine this with me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014God could have chosen any metaphor in existence to describe children, but he chose arrows. He pictures a warrior: \u201cLike arrows in the hand of a warrior.\u201d What\u2019s the warrior doing? He\u2019s engaged in battle. What are you, as a parent, doing? You are engaged in a battle over the soul\u2014the moral condition and the development of your child\u2014to be used by God in his generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the question is: \u201cAre you viewing your assignment as a <em>sacred<\/em> assignment?\u2014children being a heritage\u2014a reward\/a blessing. I\u2019m sorry to get so intense here, at the beginning of the broadcast here, Bob; but I just think there\u2019s a lot of really lazy thinking about children. We forget\u2014it\u2019s so easy, in the midst of the battle\u2014we aren\u2019t raising rug rats. We\u2019re raising image-bearers, who reflect who God is, and will carry on in the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you were sitting down with a couple, who were about to begin that journey\u2014Barbara, one of the things I know you would tell them is: \u201cYou need to begin your parenting journey with the end in mind. Rather than thinking about the first six months, think about a 20-year-old, who is ready to be launched. Start now, thinking: \u2018What do we want that 20-year-old to be shaped by? What do we want the influences in that 20-year-old\u2019s life to look like?\u201d so that all the choices you\u2019re making, along the way, are choices that support that vision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly. I think a lot of parents don\u2019t think about that. They are trying to survive <em>today<\/em>. [Laughter] They might be worried about what\u2019s happening tomorrow, because they\u2019ve got a to-do list longer than their arm; but they\u2019re <em>not<\/em> thinking about what the outcome is for their kids, when they\u2019re 18, 20, or 21. They\u2019re thinking about surviving the immediate future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe all know, if we can think ahead to what we want something to become, then we\u2019re going to make decisions today that will help achieve that outcome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParenting is really no different: \u201cWhat do you want your kids to be like when they leave your influence?\u2014when they leave for college, or go into the military, or get married, or whatever?\u201d \u201cWhat characteristics\u2014what qualities\/what attributes\u2014do you want to invest in your children to see grow and determine who your kids become?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I think, with us, we were pretty nebulous. We kind of knew, in a general way, what we wanted for our kids; but I don\u2019t think we put words, or even values, to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So if you had said to me, when my child was two years old, \u201cWhat\u2019s your hope or dream?\u201d Well, you know, I would have said: \u201cI want them to love the Lord. I want them to have a good work ethic. I want them to know how to get married to someone and be a good spouse.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> But mostly, you just wanted them to be potty-trained at two! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re right! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I might have been able to go to a big picture; but honestly, my big picture probably would have been shaped more by suburban American values than by what God says ought to be the values you\u2019re raising your kids with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, we were essentially the same. We didn\u2019t really start thinking about values in specific terms until, maybe, our oldest was, say, mid-elementary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Somewhere in that time frame, we started realizing that Dennis and I\u2014and the reason we did this was practical, because Dennis and I came with different values into our marriage, which most couples do. You have a lot of things in common\u2014and we had a lot in common\u2014but we also had a lot of values that were different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There was a Saturday where this became clear to you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that you were not valuing the same things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; because on Saturday, in my house, we worked\u2014we washed windows. My dad had us\u2014you know, he had spent some time in the Army in World War II, and he had his kids lined up and ready for battle on Saturday mornings. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You got up early?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We\u2019d get our chores done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> So I thought that was\u2014I thought that was what every family did. It never occurred to me that anybody else lived any other way, because I had no comprehension of how other families spent their Saturdays other than what I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you <em>not <\/em>do chores on Saturdays at your house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I do not remember ever being <em>told<\/em> to do chores. I thought it was every child\u2019s American right to be able to nuzzle in next to my dad and watch the game of the week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014on TV?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014on TV.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014a baseball game?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A baseball game, because my dad was into baseball. That was just what we did on Saturdays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Saturday was about fun at your house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was! And I\u2019m sure I had to do some things, but I really don\u2019t remember about chores. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So there was a particular Saturday\u2014I\u2019ve heard you say\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, my goodness!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you were packing the kids up for a fishing trip; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI still remember Barbara on the back porch, with her arms folded, as I backed out of the driveway and pulled off to go fishing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you remember this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Your face is getting\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, I\u2019m reliving the moment! [Laughter] I had a couple of the kids\u2014Daddy was being the playful Daddy: \u201cLet\u2019s go fishing!\u201d I took a couple of the kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, you took a couple of the older ones and left me with the little ones, who needed naps and diapers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you scowling a bit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, I\u2019m sure I was scowling a lot!!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So I get out there, and we\u2019re in this boat; and it wasn\u2019t much of a boat\u2014it was just a little aluminum boat\u2014it was rocking, and the fish weren\u2019t biting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I kept thinking about Barbara on the back porch. I didn\u2019t just keep fishing\u2014I said: \u201cYou know, this is the wrong picture right here. This is a husband, who is being selfish.\u201d I said: \u201cCome on, kids! We\u2019re going back home to see Momma.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I think, truth be told, you were probably thinking, in the back of your mind, \u201cThe longer I stay out here, the more trouble I\u2019m going to be in when I wind up getting home.\u201d Don\u2019t you think? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, I guess, Bob, I was just kind of ashamed at what I\u2019d done. I pulled out of the driveway and looked at Barbara, and I thought about it at that moment\u2014it was like: \u201cWhat are you doing? Oh, I\u2019m going to do it anyway.\u201d So I drove off, but I turned around pretty quickly. That day of fishing didn\u2019t last very long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So that led to the two of you actually getting some time away together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to map out: \u201cWhat are the things we value?\u201d and \u201cWhat matters to us?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was this something that you just came to off the top of your head?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really was. I think it was because of all these clashes around our values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So we were on a retreat, north of Little Rock, about an hour-and-a-half away on Greer\u2019s Ferry Lake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Where you could do some fishing?! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Where we could do some fishing, but I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> There were no kids!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just remember that\u2014I think what was happening, Bob, was that the pain of our differing values had reached such a point that I was looking for some relief. I thought, \u201cThis just isn\u2019t\u2014this is not good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> You would say, \u201cThis doesn\u2019t feel good.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cIt doesn\u2019t feel good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I told Barbara\u2014I said: \u201cYou get alone by yourself, and you pray, and read the Bible, and think. List out your top ten values that you want to teach the kids; I\u2019ll do the same. You\u2019re going to be over there; I\u2019m going to be over here. Let\u2019s take about an hour,\u201d\u2014as I recall\u2014\u201cThen, after you\u2019ve got your top ten, I want you to prioritize the top five; and let\u2019s get back together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, Bob, no one told me to do this. It was just\u2014I was facing a time when I wasn\u2019t agreeing with my wife about a lot of things in raising the kids. I felt a need for us to be singing off the same song sheet. So she did that; I did that, and we got together. Our lists were the same on a few, and very different on others.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; and we had decided that we were not going to put \u201cLove God and walk with Him,\u201d on our list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014not overly-spiritualize the whole thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Right, because we both <em>knew <\/em>that we both valued that. That was a commonality that was without dispute or without question in our relationship. We knew that was important to us; we knew that that was the most important thing we wanted to instill in our kids; so we said: \u201cThat\u2019s going to be off the table. Let\u2019s put all of the other things,\u201d\u2014so like: \u201cwork ethic,\u201d and \u201chaving time to play together,\u201d and \u201clearning how to forgive and love other people,\u201d and \u201chaving good manners.\u201d We just went on and on, down the list. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat was surprising to me was how different our lists were. I shouldn\u2019t have been surprised, because we had been flashing over this; but nonetheless, I think, when you get married, you think, \u201cOh, we have so much in common.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And then\u2014after a few years or maybe after the kids come along\u2014you realize, \u201cWell, maybe we\u2019re operating off of two different sets of instructions.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There are really two points you\u2019re making here, and both of these are things you have counseled parents with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne is\u2014 mom and dad need to be on the same page\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014when they\u2019re raising the kids. And two, they need to spend the time talking about: \u201cWhat is it that we really value?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what I didn\u2019t anticipate is how many problems this would address later on, in raising teenagers. It was <em>immediately<\/em> practical to our young family. As I recall, at that point, what did we have\u2014four or five children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Probably four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And we were making decisions out of our values, and we were comparing <em>our<\/em> decisions with our friends. It is so easy to <em>doubt<\/em> your decisions; but if you have hammered out what you agree to, and \u201cWhat our family\u2019s going to stand for,\u201d it enables you\u2014not to do what the Joneses are doing\u2014but to do what you\u2019re supposed to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly; and so one of the things that we did, when our children became teenagers is\u2014that all of our kids began to work at Chick-fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We did that for several reasons. One was\u2014we wanted them to learn to follow direction from somebody besides mom and dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wanted them to learn how to serve other people with a good attitude, and we wanted them to learn how to have a good work ethic for someone else besides mom and dad too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And it taught them how to build relationships. But we did that in such a way that they worked on Saturdays, but they didn\u2019t work all day Saturday. So, sort of our pattern became, \u201cGet your chores done and get your work done in the first half of the day.\u201d And then, in the second half of our Saturdays\u2014when we were home\u2014that would be when we would do fun. Having fun was a reward for getting your chores done, or your work done, or after you\u2019d put in your time at Chick-fil-A. Then, we went and did whatever was fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did <em>both<\/em> of those things. We found a way to keep both of those values that we each brought into our marriage and into our parenting\u2014to keep them both alive and to feed off of each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> One other thing\u2014Barbara, I want you to tell the story of how our core values ultimately helped us make a decision that we couldn\u2019t agree to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt had to do with Rebecca and gymnastics.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; I know. I thought about that a minute ago, when we were talking about it. Our fourth, Rebecca, was born limber\u2014I don\u2019t know where she got it\u2014she didn\u2019t get it from me, I don\u2019t think; and I don\u2019t think she got it from you, either; did she? [Laughter] But she just naturally knew how to do the splits. She could just sit that way if she wanted to. So, anyway, when she was in first or second grade\u2014somewhere along the line\u2014we put her in gymnastics. It was just great fun, and she loved it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause she was naturally good at it, she advanced pretty quickly. By the time she was in fifth grade, she was being recruited to go to the next level. We were trying to decide what we were going to do about this, because it meant more hours a week\u2014it meant farther driving time, because the gym that she would have to go to was, <em>at least<\/em>,45 minutes one-way\u2014and it meant that she was going to be spending more and more time at the gym after school every day and into the evenings. It would mess up our family dinner hour and all kinds of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis and I began a three-month conversation. Have you ever had a conversation that lasted three months? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think so!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> You don\u2019t think so!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Would you like to know <em>why <\/em>it lasted three months? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cCause we never got to agreement\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We never solved it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We didn\u2019t get to an agreement. I was determined not to just: \u201cBoom! Decision made!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wanted to honor my wife, because I believe she\u2019s perfect for me; and, together, we reflect what God wants our kids to be about. So I was listening to her for all of her reasons <em>why<\/em> she wanted Rebecca to continue on in competition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And we didn\u2019t talk about it every day, but it did take us three months to finally come to a consensus. It was lots of conversations, where we went back and forth over the same things over and over again. I kept thinking: \u201cMaybe she\u2019ll get a college scholarship. Maybe she can go to the Olympics.\u201d You know, I had these visions and dreams of what she might do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis\u2019s side of the conversation was always: \u201cYes; but she\u2019ll be spending more and more time away from us,\u201d and \u201cThe coaches will have more influence on her than we will.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I go, \u201cYes; you\u2019re right, but I really don\u2019t want her to quit!\u201d You know, it was one of those kind of things\u2014I really understood what he was saying, and I agreed with him; but I was trying to find a way we could have <em>both<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And so we went back and forth for a long time. Finally, I thought: \u201cOkay; we are not coming to a solution; we are not coming to an agreement,\u201d and \u201cOne of us needs to give.\u201d I thought: \u201cI need to be the one to give; because Dennis is my husband, I have to trust that God is working through him for\u2014not just for my good\u2014but for Rebecca\u2019s good and for her well-being.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to the Lord, before I said to Dennis\u2014I said: \u201cOkay! I\u2019m going to be the one to give on this; and we\u2019re going to go with his value system, which is: \u2018We have more time with her,\u2019\u201d\u2014which I agreed with; I wasn\u2019t disagreeing with it\u2014but \u201cI\u2019m going to follow his leadership in this decision in our marriage and in our family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cI think he\u2019s wrong, and I think I\u2019m right; so I\u2019m going to give You 24 hours to change his mind. I want You to change his mind. [Laughter] And then I\u2019ll tell him!\u201d I kind of had this little deal going with God, and I don\u2019t think I said anything to him right away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019d forgotten about that prayer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, I did pray that prayer!\u2014I remember it vividly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd God didn\u2019t change his mind. I went: \u201cOkay; Lord, then that must mean that\u2019s not what you want for Rebecca. You want her to come home and be with us.\u201d I told him that, and I was <em>so surprised<\/em> at how easily Rebecca took it. I thought she would be disappointed; I thought she would be heart-broken; I thought she would really miss it. She hardly skipped a beat, <em>and<\/em> we gained an hour-and-a-half-plus every day of just car trips and carpooling with other families to get these girls to this gym. It was such a remarkable shift, and such a clear confirmation from God\u2014that it was like: \u201cOkay; you were right. Clearly, you were right; and I\u2019m <em>so<\/em> glad that I was willing to trust God in this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that was a values decision that we went, back and forth, over for months. Most parents are going to do that, over one thing or another, in the course of raising children to adulthood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And again, we\u2019re back to the two big ideas here, which are: \u201cMom and dad need to be on the same page. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cIf you\u2019re divided on this, and if the kids <em>know<\/em> you\u2019re divided, that\u2019s not good for them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No! They\u2019ll exploit it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, our kids <em>knew<\/em>\u2014instead of coming to me and saying, \u201cCan I do this?\u201d They learned to come to me and say, \u201cWould you talk to mom about this so that I can get an answer?\u201d [Laughter] They just knew!\u2014anything they were going to ask, \u201cCan I do this?\u201d\u2014my answer was going to be, \u201cYour mom and I are going to talk about that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We made that a default decision in our home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And weren\u2019t you a little bit more of a softie than Mary Ann?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was a little more. Mary Ann said, at one point, \u201cYou will probably never be too firm with the children.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she was right! It was going to be my natural tendency to be soft and pliable. I needed her to balance out my soft side on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo they [parents] need to be on the same page; and then, if you\u2019ve got some core values that you can look at and say: \u201cYou know, this is important to us\u2014time with our kids is probably more important than them excelling in some skill area.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And honestly, you look at it today, Barbara\u2014and you see what it takes for a kid to become an Olympic gymnast, or football player, or whatever it is\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and how to get to that level\u2014the compromises and the things that are given up can often be detrimental in the child\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly; and it really does rob you, as a mom and a dad, of time with your kids that you will <em>never<\/em> get again. You know, it\u2019s so easy, when you\u2019re in it, to feel like you\u2019re <em>never<\/em> going to get beyond the parenting years; but they really are so short. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you allow your child to give his or her life to a sport, or a cause, or something that takes them away from the family, and away from your influence, you never get those years back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You include instructions for how to do the core values project\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the book. Do you include what your list of core values were?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We give folks a pretty comprehensive list for them to choose their own, because what ours were\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014doesn\u2019t really matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014it doesn\u2019t matter. I\u2019m not trying to adopt <em>our<\/em> core values\u2014I\u2019m trying to get you to pray\u2014decide as a couple, and then begin to hammer it out; because you\u2019re going to be far more effective, as a couple, if you are in agreement and God is <em>leading<\/em> that agreement, going forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you can get a copy of Dennis and Barbara\u2019s book\u2014and the core values project is a part of that\u2014the list of some potential core values \/ things that may help spur your thinking about what your core values really are. It\u2019s included in the book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. The book is available in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order the book from us, online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy of the book. Of course, we\u2019ve got the companion <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series that\u2019s available for church use. You can order that from us online as well at FamilyLifeToday.com. The core values project is a part of the small group series as well. So, again, look for the book or the small group series when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order either resource at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I wish there was some way to <em>measure<\/em> what happens in a family when mom and dad are aligned on their core values\u2014what that brings to a family. We know the power that there is in having that kind of alignment, but there\u2019s really no clear-cut way to measure how important that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say that just because I want our listeners\u2014and especially, those of you who support this ministry and who make it possible for everyone else in your community\u2014part of what you\u2019re supporting is this kind of dialogue and interaction as we seek to equip, and to train, and to encourage, and to challenge moms and dads \/ husbands and wives all around the biblical principles related to marriage and family. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families; and we\u2019re grateful to those of you who share that mission with us and who make it possible for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>to be heard by more people, more regularly. Thanks for your support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if you can help with a donation today, we have a gift we\u2019d like to send you. It\u2019s our 2019 \u201cYear of Togetherness\u201d calendar. It\u2019s all about things your family can do to help build togetherness in your home\u2014activities that you can do throughout the year; verses that you can memorize together; ways that you can connect, relationally\u2014and we\u2019ve talked today about how important that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the calendar is our thank-you gift when you donate today, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com or call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow as we continue our conversation about what we need to be, as parents, to help the next generation thrive as we raise them. Dennis and Barbara Rainey will be with us, again, tomorrow. I hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300437"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300437"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300437"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300437"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}