{"id":300435,"date":"2018-10-29T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-10-29T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/leaning-on-the-lord\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:36","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:36","slug":"leaning-on-the-lord","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leaning-on-the-lord\/","title":{"rendered":"Leaning on the Lord"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey talk about the character traits needed to be a good parent. The first thing moms and dads need is to be growing in their relationship with the Lord and their reliance on Him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-29.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:07","filesize":"25.74M","filesize_raw":"26992277","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2806],"tags":[4605,4350,4607,4606,4608,2209,4609],"podcast_series":[7260],"cwp_profile":[3051],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300435","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-spiritual-development","tag-art-of-parenting","tag-character","tag-grow-in-your-faith","tag-modelling-character","tag-modelling-christ","tag-parenting","tag-sharing-christ-with-your-kids","podcast_series-art-of-parenting-what-every-parent-needs","cwp_profile-dennis-and-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300435\/leaning-on-the-lord","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300435\/leaning-on-the-lord","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Bf58DAPDQQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leaning-on-the-lord\/\">Leaning on the Lord<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leaning-on-the-lord\/embed\/#?secret=Bf58DAPDQQ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Leaning on the Lord&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Bf58DAPDQQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dennis and Barbara Rainey talk about the character traits needed to be a good parent. The first thing moms and dads need is to be growing in their relationship with the Lord and their reliance on Him.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The demands we face as parents are daily and, sometimes, urgent demands. Barbara Rainey says, in the midst of that, we\u2019ve got to keep in mind the long-term perspective of parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> As parents, we\u2019re so often reactive; <a id=\"_Hlk527628881\">and we\u2019re so often mired in today and the issues of today\u2014whether it\u2019s potty training, or lying, or first day of school, or whatever it is\u2014we get really bogged down in the today. It\u2019s hard to make ourselves think ahead.<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. In parenting, it\u2019s important that all of us keep the main thing the main thing. We\u2019re going to talk about how we do that, as parents, today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I don\u2019t know if you guys have had this kind of an opportunity\u2014I say \u201cyou guys\u201d because your wife, Barbara, is in the studio with us today. Welcome Barbara.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hi Sweetheart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Hi! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have you had the opportunity to sit down with expectant parents, who are about to have their first baby, and just say: \u201cOkay; let me give you the lay of the land. Let me tell you what\u2019s coming\u201d? Have you had parents like that, who have said, \u201cWould you just prep us?\u201d You know, we do premarital counseling, but we don\u2019t do a whole lot of pre-parenting counseling for first-time parents. Have you ever had that opportunity?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ve had a lot of opportunities to talk to young women, who are going to have their first baby about the birthing process, because that\u2019s really front and center in most of their minds\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cHow am I going to get this kid here? How am I going to survive it? How are we going to\u2026\u201d\u2014all that stuff at the beginning\u2014feeding and all of that. That\u2019s really where most young women\u2019s minds are: \u201cHow am I going to survive the first six months?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo they don\u2019t really think much beyond that\u2014I don\u2019t think. I think it\u2019s getting the baby here, getting it healthy, learning how to feed it and take care of it\u2014and that\u2019s about as far as I think they go, mentally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When I was a young parent, I wasn\u2019t thinking much beyond the here and now\u2014the next couple of weeks. I didn\u2019t have the big picture in mind. I think, for a lot of parents, that\u2019s just where we live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s a time of blissful joy, and they really don\u2019t know what\u2019s ahead for them. I think there is a lot of optimism\u2014and may I say it about us?\u2014a lot of arrogance. We thought we\u2019d do a better job than our parents would do. It wasn\u2019t that we thought we were better people; we just thought we\u2019ve been better-equipped. We\u2019ve had some <em>great<\/em> teachers of the Bible; we\u2019ve had some mentors that have built into our lives, and we thought we could do it, Bob. I don\u2019t think I thought it would be easy, but I thought it was going to be easier than it was. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So today, what we\u2019re going to do is\u2014we\u2019re going to do some of this pre-parenting counseling that will, hopefully, help moms and dads think\u2014not so much about labor and delivery\u2014because they\u2019re taking classes for that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They\u2019re going through sessions on how to breathe and all of this. But we want them to be thinking about the next 18 years with this son or daughter that they are about to have and to come back and say, \u201cOkay; what\u2019s the big objective here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this is one of the things you deal with in the book that you\u2019ve just written called <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. You\u2019ve got a chapter in here\u2014a section of the book\u2014that\u2019s all about what parents need in order to be good parents; and at the center of that, they need the right perspective; don\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They do. This first point we\u2019d like to make for parents is <em>absolutely<\/em> essential. It\u2019s like gravity\u2014it is\u2014it must be in place in your life, in your marriage, in your family to be successful, as a parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see what I\u2019m holding.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We say, \u201cA dusty Bible will lead to a dirty life.\u201d It will also lead to children who are aimless, spiritually, and who don\u2019t know who they are and why they were created.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> So the most important thing we believe for every parent is that you must be individually, and then as a couple, dependent on God. Assuming that you know Him\u2014which we\u2019re assuming that at this moment\u2014if you know Him, then the most important thing for you to do is to grow in your relationship with Him so that you can, therefore, guide your child according to the principles that God has put forth in His Scripture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you talk about parents being in God\u2019s Word and following God, you\u2019re talking about being in there with more purpose and more intentionality than just taking a Bible verse vitamin every morning; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; and I mean more than just going to church on Sunday morning. I think we\u2014and especially when we\u2019re young, because Dennis and I were this way too\u2014I think we were trying to learn <em>how<\/em> to walk with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t really know what that meant; so it was real easy to feel like\u2014if we went to church, and we were in a Bible study, or we read our Bible occasionally\u2014that was accomplishing that. There\u2019s nothing wrong with any of those things\u2014you have to start there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think what we\u2019re saying in the book, and what we\u2019re saying to you, who are listening, is that: \u201cWhat you really need is\u2014you really need a heart that is surrendered to Christ and is totally dependent on Him.\u201d Because, as we learned in raising our kids, it wasn\u2019t just enough to take our kids to Sunday school. It wasn\u2019t just enough to have them memorize a verse here and there. What they really needed is\u2014they really needed to see a mom and dad, who are completely dependent on Christ, as individuals\u2014not just talking about it\u2014because, if you just talk about it, your kids are going to rebel. But if they see a mom and dad\u2014who are in love with Jesus, who know Him, and who are trying to please him with their lives\u2014then that\u2019s going to be much more attractive to them. Your whole family is just going to work together better because you\u2019re following Christ\u2014not just your mixed-up ideas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Barbara, I\u2019ve never talked to a young mom without hearing something like this: \u201cBefore I had kids, there was margin and space in my life for a quiet time, or to go to the women\u2019s Bible study, or to really get deep. I loved it. I really enjoyed it. After I had kids, margin is <em>gone<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cgone.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cIt\u2019s vanished. Getting five minutes in the Bible seems like an impossibility unless I just lock myself in the bathroom for five minutes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, and that doesn\u2019t always work because my kids always found me. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She tried to hide in there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, I did, and it didn\u2019t work. I remember that so well, and I felt <em>exactly<\/em> the same way. I think now, as I look back, one of my regrets is that I didn\u2019t fight harder for margin. I think I could have created some margin if I had worked with Dennis on that and if we had made more of a pact and more of a goal for that to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s real easy for moms to become martyrs and to become indispensable, because it feeds who we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>loved<\/em> it that my kids needed me. I liked it that they actually wanted me over their dad sometimes\u2014it made me feel important\u2014I liked that. And yet, that was, in some ways, I think a trap to keep me from doing what I needed to do, which was to spend time with the Lord. There were times when I didn\u2019t do Bible study, and I didn\u2019t have a quiet time. I gave up on it; because it was so hard, and I\u2019d rather not try than try and feel like a failure. I know that that\u2019s normal for moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019m saying, on this side of the equation\u2014I\u2019m saying on this side of the line, having finished raising my kids\u2014if I had it to do all over again, I would work harder to make sure I had that margin and to protect that in some way in conjunction with my husband\u2014for us to work together to find a way for me to be communing with Christ on a better level.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I have a confession to make. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t have <em>tons<\/em> of regrets that I wished I\u2019d done; but on this one, I did not understand the burden children place on a mother. I <em>grossly<\/em> underestimated that drain. I wish I\u2019d understood what Barbara just said, because I wouldn\u2019t have been waiting for her to come to me and ask for margin. I would have been looking out for her\u2014saying to her, \u201cWhat do we need to do for you to nourish your soul and look out for your own heart?\u201d Bob, I don\u2019t think I did that enough\u2014I really don\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think the reason you didn\u2019t is the reason most young men didn\u2019t\u2014and probably, Bob, you would say the same thing\u2014it is really, really hard for a young man to understand the load and what it means to be a mom. I\u2019m watching it with our daughters and our sons\u2014and their wives. It takes <em>years<\/em> for a man to fully grasp what it costs her to give birth, and to raise these kids, and to give her life for the kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The physical and emotional toll\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that a woman pays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf a mom and dad, in the season of parenting, just say: \u201cLook; we\u2019re overwhelmed. Something\u2019s got to give. We\u2019ll get back to the Bible eventually; but for this season, we just don\u2019t have the margin to do this. We\u2019ll keep going to church, and we\u2019ll still do some things\u2014we\u2019re listening to Christian radio,\u201d\u2014I mean, right now, they\u2019re listening to Christian radio; so that\u2019s got to be worth something. You would say, \u201cIf you neglect the Bible\u2026\u201d what\u2019s going to happen to your parenting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to go back to a message that I heard 50 years ago\u2014it just dawned on me: I heard this when I was a junior in college\u2014his name was Dr. Chet Wood. He was a professor at John Brown University in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. He came to a Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> meeting, where a bunch of us\u2014Barbara was probably there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and he held up a batch of grapes\u2014plump juicy grapes that were all held together in a cluster. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, he held up a vine that was withered\u2014there were no grapes on it\u2014all that was left was just little spindly stems; okay? He held it up and he goes: \u201cThis is a picture of the Christian life. Jesus said, in John 15, \u2018If you abide in Me and My words abide in you,\u2019\u201d\u2014here\u2019s what he said\u2014\u201c\u2018you\u2019re going to bear fruit.\u2019 Why? Because the word, abide, means to draw your life\u2019s source from. Jesus stands up in John 15, the first 11 verses, and He says: \u2018Abide in Me and I in you. As a branch cannot bear fruit of itself, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur life\u2019s decisions, our values\u2014the things that are important to us\u2014are drawn from this Book; and it teaches us how to do life God\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m thinking, \u201cIf you want God to be a part of your parenting, then He\u2019s got to be brought into your thinking, on a regular basis.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, Bob, in the movie you created, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, there\u2019s a time in that movie where the dad confesses to the kids\u2014do you remember it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh yes; it\u2019s a pivotal point in the movie, where the dad says, \u201cWe\u2019ve learned that the Bible is more significant than we realized\u2014that we need to be in this book every day, as a family.\u201d He calls his family back together around it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And \u201cThis needs to be our center.\u201d He said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cIt hasn\u2019t been. It\u2019s been a part of\u2014over to the side.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why I think we start with this one\u2014that you need to have a Bible that isn\u2019t dirty\u2014but a Bible that\u2019s marked up and that has some edges to the pages, where you can tell it\u2019s been read more than once. It is your manual to know how to raise children in this generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so we\u2019re sitting with new parents\u2014we\u2019re saying: \u201cHere\u2019s what you\u2019re going to need. Number one, don\u2019t let this slip away as you have your kids\u2014get the margin\u2014fight for it; stay connected; abide in the vine\u2014be in God\u2019s Word.\u201d We got that. What else do parents need?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well and one other thing, the Bible will show you what a straight line looks like; because you\u2019re going to run into a lot of lines, as you raise kids\u2014other parents with other values. The only way you know if a line is crooked is if you know what a straight line looks like. The Bible lays out truth: the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule, all the teachings of Christ\u2014the New Testament. It teaches you, as a parent, how to live a wise life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that, in this series, later on; but parents today need to know what a truly fruitful, successful, effective family looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright; so if you\u2019re in God\u2019s Word, that\u2019s going to give you perspective on\u2014like you\u2019re saying\u2014all the issues that you\u2019re going to face, as moms and dads. This is where parents need, not just time in the Word, but they need wisdom that comes from being in God\u2019s Word to face the challenges they\u2019re going to face every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s the second thing parents need. They need to understand the times. When I say that, I\u2019m saying you need to look beyond what\u2019s just happening to see the symptoms\u2014to see the worldview of how people are making decisions in their families and in their lives\u2014and not get distracted. But you need to have an understanding of the times; and you need that wisdom that you were talking about, Bob\u2014wisdom to know how to act and how to lead your family forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a verse in the Old Testament, Barbara, that talks about the men of Issachar; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Issachar; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They were men who understood the times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; and they were really important to David, because he had his soldiers\u2014he had his battle lines all drawn up and all the men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but he needed these men; because they were wise, and they were looking ahead, and they were thinking ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, we\u2019re so often reactive; and we\u2019re so often mired in today and the issues of today\u2014whether it\u2019s potty training, or lying, or first day of school, or whatever it is\u2014we get really bogged down in the today. It\u2019s hard to make ourselves think ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019re talking about in this one\u2014in the second one: \u201cBe wise,\u201d\u2014and you get your wisdom from the Bible\u2014it\u2019s thinking ahead and looking ahead\u2014watching: \u201cWhat are the issues that parents are dealing with?\u201d who have kids that are maybe five years ahead of you; so you know what\u2019s coming, and not as caught off guard, and not always playing defensive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I read an article online\u2014this was a while back\u2014but a story about parents, who had decided that they\u2019re going to raise\u2014not babies\u2014but \u201ctheybies.\u201d Have you heard about \u201ctheybies\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> No; I haven\u2019t heard about \u201ctheybies.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cTheybies\u201d\u2014where they\u2019re not going to disclose to the child, or to anybody else, what the child\u2019s gender is as they raise that child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey refer to the child with plural pronouns: \u201cthey\u201d\/\u201dthem\u201d rather than \u201chim\u201d or \u201cher.\u201d The children know what their anatomy is; but they don\u2019t make a gender differentiation and say, \u201cWell, you\u2019re a boy,\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re a girl.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019m thinking about parents, understanding the times and knowing how to respond. If you\u2019re in God\u2019s Word, it\u2019s going to help you understand, \u201cOkay; that\u2019s a novel idea, but that runs against what the Bible tells us about God\u2019s good gift of gender.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Our book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, really wants to help a parent anticipate these issues we\u2019re talking about here and many, many more. It comes as also a part of a package, Bob\u2014the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122 video series, which has a\u2014it\u2019s a planning document that is in the shape of an arrow. That arrow is headed toward a target, and that\u2019s your child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour child is like an arrow in the hand of a warrior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the best things it does is\u2014it has two diagrams that show wind. Wind can blow an arrow off target. One of those depictions\u2014it challenges a parent to think of the top one or two things, in the next six to twelve months, that a parent is going to face with this child: \u201cWhat are the issues your child is going to face?\u201d\u2014or maybe they\u2019re facing it right now; you just need to address it. Then there\u2019s the depiction of wind for 18-24 months\u2014a couple of years out. You\u2019re making choices about values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is where understanding the times\u2014it makes sense for parents. You\u2019ve got to know: \u201cWhat are our values and where are our boundaries going to be?\u201d So let me ask this: \u201cWhat can a mom or a dad do to understand the times?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause just being involved in the household issues that you\u2019re facing with your kids\u2014that\u2019s one thing\u2014but to know what the culture is throwing at them, right and left, you have to stay vigilant. I mean, it\u2019s like you have to stay on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and Twitter<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>24\/7 just to see what might be coming their way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t think it takes that much time. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That might be an exaggeration.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s a bit of an exaggeration. But I think you could\u2014at your church, you could volunteer with the kids\u2019 group that is older than where your kids are. If your oldest is in second grade, help teach the sixth-grade class. Or if your oldest is in sixth grade, walk into the high school youth group; or sign up to be a chaperone for the youth retreat, just for a weekend. Begin to hang around some of these kids that are older than your kids. See what they talk about; see what they wear; see what they\u2019re thinking\u2014how they act \/ how they use their devices\u2014what are their parents letting them do and not letting them do? If you\u2019ve got friends\u2014that\u2019s even better\u2014who have kids that are ahead of your kids too. Talk to them and say, \u201cWhat are the issues?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the important thing is just find ways to engage with parents or students\u2014children who are older than yours\u2014to know what they\u2019re actually dealing with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember some parents I talked to\u2014this was years ago\u2014who said their daughter had gone on the youth retreat with the church. When she came back, they were debriefing about it and said, \u201cSo what happened?\u201d They said: \u201cWell, it was really cool. It was a cool night; and so we all took our sleeping bags out, and we all slept under the stars out on the lawn.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh yes; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And they said, \u201cWe all went out there.\u201d \u201cWho\u2019s \u2018We all?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was that one\u2014that was one of the retreats our kids went on? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s sounding <em>real<\/em> familiar. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That is sounding very familiar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was trying to protect the names of the guilty here, but\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014it was a situation where the parents, and probably the youth leaders, got blindsided. But here were boys and girls, out spending the night together under the stars, on the youth retreat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We went on a bus with a bunch of junior high kids on a youth retreat one time. I couldn\u2019t believe that they showed a movie that was rated \u201cR\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u2014on the bus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014on the <em>bus<\/em> on the way to a conference, where you\u2019re talking about getting to know God and living life as God intended it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell you\u2014one of the smartest things we did\u2014we did some pretty clumsy things, but one of the best things we did was teaching a sixth-grade Sunday school class\u2014not once\/not twice\u2014but we taught it for 11 years. Those kids only thought that Mr. and Mrs. Rainey were teaching them. Those kids took us to school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the lesson for moms and dads, everywhere, who are listening to us: \u201cYour sixth grader, your tenth grader, your senior in high school\u2014all of them know a whole lot more than you ever imagined\u2014a whole lot more than you knew at that same age. Anticipate that and ask them some tough questions: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat have you been looking at?\u201d \u201cWhat are friends looking at?\u201d \u201cWhat are you battling with?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s tripping you up?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, these are days when parents can\u2019t afford to allow their kids to push them out. Parents have to find a way in\u2014a gentle way\u2014that builds a relationship and delivers the truth of God\u2019s Word\u2014and compassion for when your child fails.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a great Old Testament metaphor where the guards of the city are referred as the watchmen on the walls. Their job is to keep the city safe, and keep the walls guarded, and to look for the enemies who might be encroaching. That\u2019s really what you\u2019re calling moms and dads to be and to do to: \u201cStand guard and keep a wall of protection around their children\u2014physically, emotionally, spiritually\u2014as you raise them,\u201d\u2014not that they\u2019re never going to face hardship\u2014you want them to face hardship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut moms and dads are here to make sure we\u2019re keeping our kids protected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is something you address clearly in your new book, <em>The Art of Parenting,<\/em> which of course, we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. It\u2019s the companion to the eight-part small group series\u2014the video series on the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014which is also available. Get more information about both of these resources when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Get copies of the book; get copies of the small group series\u2014get together with some other parents and go through this content and interact together, as parents, around these subjects. Again, it\u2019s <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2014the book and the small group series. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to order. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, some of you have been asking about the <em>Like Arrows<\/em> movie, which is a part of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series. This fall, we\u2019ve been making that available for churches to show for ministry use. We hope to have it available for you to order your own copy very soon, so stay tuned for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, every time we have conversations like this, I know there are parents, who say to us, \u201cThat was helpful, because it reminded me of things I know but I forget.\u201d I mean, all of us do, as parents\u2014in the midst of the dailyness of all we\u2019re going through, we can start to slip from our priorities. Here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, the goal of this program is to provide you with a regular, daily reminder that keeps you focused on what really matters in your marriage and in your family. Our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who make this program possible for everyone else\u2014in your community, in your city, and for people all around the world\u2014thank you for your commitment to these same principles. Thank you for partnering with us to provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and for families. We couldn\u2019t do it without you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a donation, or if you\u2019re a long-time listener and you\u2019re ready to step up and become one of our monthly Legacy Partners, why don\u2019t you get in touch with us today? Go online and make a donation at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. When you do get in touch with us, we want to send you our 2019 FamilyLife calendar which is all about building togetherness as a family. It includes specific ideas for things your family can do together during the year and Scripture verses you can memorize throughout the year. It\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you support the ministry of FamilyLife with a donation\u2014again, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or by phone at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to talk about the kinds of parents we need to be as we raise the next generation. What are the core qualities that we need to make sure are a part of our lives? Dennis and Barbara Rainey will be back with us again tomorrow. I hope you will be back as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300435"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300435"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300435"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300435"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}