{"id":300421,"date":"2018-10-18T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-10-18T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/sex-and-singleness\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:35","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:35","slug":"sex-and-singleness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sex-and-singleness\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex and Singleness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Juli Slattery and Michelle Hill talk about sexuality as it relates to singleness. Hill, who is single, talks honestly about being single in a sex-crazed culture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:24","filesize":"24.18M","filesize_raw":"25353704","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2867,2093],"tags":[4588,4590,2926,4589],"podcast_series":[7257],"cwp_profile":[3388,8858],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300421","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-involvement","category-women","tag-sex-and-singles","tag-sex-crazed-culture","tag-singles","tag-talk-about-sex","podcast_series-sex-and-the-single-girl","cwp_profile-juli-slattery","cwp_profile-michelle-hill","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300421\/sex-and-singleness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300421\/sex-and-singleness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5dZ1496K1o\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sex-and-singleness\/\">Sex and Singleness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sex-and-singleness\/embed\/#?secret=5dZ1496K1o\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Sex and Singleness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5dZ1496K1o\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>God\u2019s design for marriage needs to be taught, and celebrated, and embraced in a local church; but as Michelle Hill points out, when you\u2019re single, hearing that message over and over again can make you feel like an outsider.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>What the church is saying is that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church; it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> picture of the gospel. So I sit there and go: \u201cWhat about me? Can I be a part of that picture? Can I try to paint some brushstrokes on that?\u201d I do sometimes walk away, going, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How can the church help single adults understand where they fit into God\u2019s design for marriage and family and singleness and sex? We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We are headed into some real family life with the topic today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I wondered how you were going to get into this broadcast. This is a first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re going to be talking about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, no, no. Let\u2019s let the author of the book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014tell us what we\u2019re going to be talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014tell us what we\u2019re going to be talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s fair.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dr. Juli Slattery joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Juli.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Thanks so much for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We also have Michelle Hill, who is the host of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>\u2014on the team, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes; most definitely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Aren\u2019t you excited about being here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>I am! I\u2019m very excited. Anytime I get to share the table with you and Bob, and now Juli\u2014my new best friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; tell the truth, though. When I came to you and said, \u201cHey, we\u2019re going to be talking with Dr. Juli Slattery about her new book,\u201d and you said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the book about?\u201d and I told you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and she faked that she was going to the dentist!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a lame excuse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You wanted to get out of this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u201cI have to get out of here as quickly as possible.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, Juli, what\u2019s the book about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>It\u2019s called <em>Sex and the Single Girl<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And Michelle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re a single girl; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in your 40s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014never been married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You ready to talk about this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Sure! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I like that! I like that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Let\u2019s jump in!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Nothing like sitting around, talking about this book. Juli, thanks for writing it\u2014I\u2019m really glad. I think there needs to be a wholesome, healthy perspective addressed to single women today; because there\u2019s a lot in the culture to distort it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in case you don\u2019t know who Juli Slattery is, she is the cofounder, with Linda Dillow, of Authentic Intimacy, which is a ministry to women around sexual issues. She\u2019s authored a number of books. She\u2019s been married to her husband Mike since 1994 and has three sons. She is a minority in a fraternity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>That\u2019s right! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>If she can survive that, she can write this book as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou talk about how a woman has something that really profoundly impacts her view of sexuality. What is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Well, there are a lot of things that impact it, but I\u2019d say the <em>big<\/em> impact is the family they grew up in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, what they learned about male and female, and marriage and intimacy, and what they observed. That has a <em>profound<\/em> impact on how we think about our sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Talk to us about your own family of origin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>I have a wonderful family of origin. My parents are both still living, still married, and I\u2019m one of six kids. My parents came to saving knowledge of Christ when I was a year old. The knowledge of Christ and studying the Scriptures radically changed their approach to marriage and parenting, so I\u2019ve been very blessed to be raised in a God-fearing home with healthy relationships \/ a healthy understanding of marriage and sexuality. But my parents would be the first to tell you that the ways that they equipped us, back in the day, is not enough for the ways we need to be having this conversation today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Michelle, what about you? Your family of origin\u2014how did it shape your view of sexuality?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>You know, what is interesting is that\u2014sex was a bad word in our home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a word that was never uttered, at all\u2014even, I don\u2019t remember my mom ever giving me \u201cthe talk.\u201d It was stuff that I found out through my friends. I mean, I found out everything through my friends; and my mom and dad just were silent about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>About how old were you when you did find out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Twelve or thirteen. I had a good friend who had ten older brothers and sisters, and so she knew <em>everything<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She knew what was what; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>She knew everything. In our family, it just wasn\u2019t talked about; but that was the \u201970s and \u201980s, and I wouldn\u2019t say that that was not normal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I\u2019m thinking about this\u2014if that was the case, and there was no conversation about this\u2014going into your teen years and, now, all of a sudden, there\u2019s an awakening happening\u2014right?\u2014and around you are girlfriends and boyfriends, who are coupling up and starting to have sex\u2014did you have any thinking in your mind about what your boundaries should be?\u2014or where you should go?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or what you wanted your sexual life to look like, as a young, single, Christian woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>All I knew was I couldn\u2019t have sex\u2014that\u2019s all I knew. I didn\u2019t know what the boundaries <em>should<\/em> look like; I didn\u2019t know if there were any gray areas. I didn\u2019t know anything other than, \u201cYou can\u2019t have sex, because that\u2019s forbidden in our home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So your thinking was just: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u201cHands off!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cPut a fence around this, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cdon\u2019t even go there. Do not read Song of Solomon. Don\u2019t even\u2014I mean, you have to be as pure as possible.\u201d So I didn\u2019t even think about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s a story that I\u2019ve heard over and over again. I think it represents\u2014not only how the culture has twisted sexuality\u2014but in some ways, how the Christian church has presented a less-than-helpful view of sexuality, which is what you\u2019re kind of describing. I call it the purity narrative that, you know: \u201cThe highest goal is for you to not be sexual\u2014to be pure\u2014to not think sexual things or have sexual longings.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, women and girls can\u2019t make sense of their sexuality. They\u2019re struggling with, \u201cWhy do I feel the way I do?\u201d They feel tremendous shame about just the fact that they even have longings. You know, I think that\u2019s sort of a paradigm we need to shift\u2014that the purity narrative has some good things in it, but it\u2019s also creating some problems.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Well, and even as I was growing up, until\u2014I don\u2019t even know; 20s and 30s when it really hit me\u2014was the fact that I was always told: \u201cYou remain pure until you get married,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s your husband, who you\u2019re remaining pure for.\u201d It wasn\u2019t until just a few years ago, I was like: \u201cNo, no; no. I\u2019m remaining pure for <em>God<\/em>.\u201d I was never taught that, so I had to have a paradigm shift on my own\u2014well, it was God who was shifting that paradigm\u2014but it took a lot after that to even think through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember my daughter coming to me after\u2014she was hearing the purity message\u2014this was after she was married. She said, you know, \u201cWe hear that girls should be pure until they\u2019re married.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cSo, what should they be after they\u2019re married?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Exactly; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was a great question; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have to make sure that what we\u2019re communicating is God\u2019s design for sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Right; and the biblical narrative is actually quite different than the purity narrative\u2014and is much more comprehensive and helps us understand things that we\u2019re dealing with in the culture today\u2014like: \u201cWhy is gender important?\u201d and \u201cHow do I address things, like pornography, that I might be struggling with?\u201d and \u201cWhat does this look like, going into marriage? Is having sex with my husband impure, then, or is there a way for that to be even tainted? Just because we\u2019re married, does it mean everything\u2019s okay?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to be presenting an understanding of sexuality, then, that encompasses all those struggles and questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There\u2019s something else happening, besides the family of origin\u2014it\u2019s a culture that is predatory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just want you to comment, Juli\u2014and Michelle, if you want to comment as well, please feel free\u2014\u201cWhat\u2019s happening to single women in this culture? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAre they feeling like they\u2019re being preyed upon? Are they being used, or what?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>I\u2019d love to hear your response to that, Michelle. I think, from where I sit and the women that I talk to, they\u2019re usually not thinking that deeply. It takes time for them to start connecting the dots and feeling like, \u201cI am being treated like an object.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they\u2019re doing, instead of being thoughtful about this, is just reacting\u2014that \u201cIf I want attention \/ if I want to feel worthwhile in this culture, then I have to be overtly sexual, and I have to acquiesce to the demands of culture.\u201d So they develop a lifestyle around that. Girls that are growing up in Christian homes\u2014you know, \u201cThis is how I get a boy\u2019s attention,\u201d and then the tidal wave that follows is a lot of guilt and shame that they don\u2019t know what to do with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There was an article, recently, in <em>The Wall Street Journal<\/em> that says, \u201cThere\u2019s an app for that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s an app\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014an app for single women and single men to remove the \u201cHashtag Me Too\u201d threat\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; to give consent to one another for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for legal purposes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Michelle, I\u2019m imagining what it might feel like\u2014to be a single woman, in her 30s, never married, who has said: \u201cI\u2019m going to do this God\u2019s way\u2014that\u2019s what my parents taught me, growing up. I\u2019m not going to be sexually active until I\u2019m married.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut all around her, here\u2019s what the culture\u2019s saying back to her: \u201cGuys aren\u2019t going to be interested in you; in fact, they\u2019re going to ignore you. You have to be sexual to get a guy.\u201d Secondly: \u201cThat\u2019s outmoded and outdated; that\u2019s just old thinking,\u201d and \u201cGod made you sexual anyway. Why would He give you these desires and then you just have to sit on them and stuff them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve had to wrestle with these things through your 30s and into your 40s; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh, yes. And it has been hard; because the guys are sitting out there, going, \u201cHey, we have to figure out if we\u2019re compatible.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>You know, \u201cIf this thing\u2019s going to go anywhere, we\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And they mean sexually compatible; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, \u201cWe have to try before we buy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh, exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>And you say, \u201cNo,\u201d and they\u2019re like: \u201cOhhh; well, you know what? Maybe we\u2019re not at all.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I mean, that\u2019s happened to you\u2014in that kind of direct\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014seriously!\u2014from the church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes; everyone\u2019s broken\u2014inside the church and outside the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you had the internal dialogue, where you go: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m sick of this. I\u2019m sick of playing by the rules. I\u2019m just going to chuck it all and do what I want to do\u201d? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, you asked that question; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Do you want the good-girl answer, or do you want the honest answer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want the honest answer on this. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes; I have thought that. In fact, I had a conversation, just not too long ago. I called up a friend and I said: \u201cYou have to keep me accountable; because right now, I do not know what\u2019s keeping me, other than my job at FamilyLife and the accountability that I have there, that\u2019s keeping me walking this life,\u201d because I wouldn\u2019t mind\u2014sorry to say this\u2014finding a guy and hooking up, just because I want that satisfaction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo I know what satisfaction I\u2019m looking for? I think I do; but the Michelle that is walking in the Word and walking with God is sitting there, shouting at me and saying, \u201cYou do <em>not<\/em> want to go there.\u201d The other Michelle is sitting there, going, \u201cI need something!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And Juli, the average single young woman in the church is listening to the other Michelle and saying: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m sick of playing by the rules. I guess this is what I have to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not only about satisfaction; it\u2019s about our definition of maturity. You know, I think this is a large piece of this. The culture\u2019s telling you that: \u201cIf you have not experienced sex, you\u2019re not a complete person; and you\u2019re not a mature woman.\u201d That\u2019s just a lie from the enemy. You\u2019re right, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, Michelle, I\u2019m so grateful that you were that vulnerable and honest; because that\u2019s the internal dialogue\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and very few women are not going to give into that dialogue and just say, \u201cLet me, at least, try it to say that I know what this is and I\u2019ve done this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Juli, I have to ask this question, at this point; because there are a lot of women, wondering, \u201cWhat is a healthy, God-honoring way of expressing my sexuality?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh yes; please! I\u2019m all ears; I\u2019m all ears.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, seriously; we look at this\u2014we\u2019re image-bearers, male and female.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>God made a woman to be a beautiful thing! How does that get expressed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Part of the confusion here is that we equate our sexuality with being sexually active; we equate intimacy with being sexually active. There are all these different aspects of what it is to be a woman, what it is to be an image-bearer, what it is to connect with people on an intimate level that really have been sabotaged in our culture. Everything is being placed in this basket of sexuality, which is why it\u2019s such a watermark event in our culture of maturity, and self-exploration, and finding out who you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of it is, I think, really going back to the beginning and define: \u201cWhat is our sexuality?\u201d because it\u2019s much more than just being sexually active. When a woman begins to understand that \u201cI am\u2014by nature, by God\u2019s design, by God\u2019s intent\u2014a sexual person, even as a single person \/ even as somebody who\u2019s not being sexually active, that there are aspects of my sexuality that don\u2019t involve sexual intimacy,\u201d then all of a sudden it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat does it mean to be female? What does it mean to long for intimacy?\u2014and pursue intimacy in community, and relationship, and friendship\u2014to express love?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to broaden our understanding\u2014that all of that is driven by our God\u2019s design of our sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I heard you talking about relationships being one of the primary ways a woman can express her sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely. A relationship that is intimate doesn\u2019t have to be sexual. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had women come up to me and say to me: \u201cI don\u2019t know the difference. Every time I\u2019ve ever experienced intimacy, it has been sexualized.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And here\u2019s the caution that I think you would give at this point too. As a woman does become intimate, relationally\u2014with someone of the same sex or the opposite sex\u2014because of this culture that these relationships are taking place in\u2014and because of homosexuality \/ because of a culture that wants to include everybody\u2014a woman needs to guard her heart; doesn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>She does, and she needs wise counsel in terms of understanding that feeling close to someone \/ wanting to share with someone does not mean that you\u2019re same-sex attracted\u2014does not mean that that relationship has to be sexualized. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t have to, again, have this conversation 20 or 30 years ago; because we experienced intimacy, and family, and friendship in a way that was healthy and not sexualized. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut today, everything seems to be sexualized, which is just adding to the confusion of \u201cHow do I be a sexual person without acting out sexually?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, Juli\u2014that a single woman; or a single man, for that point\u2014would look at their life and say: \u201cOkay; I hear what you\u2019re saying about emotional intimacy, and being close, and having a real close friend. That\u2019s all fine; but at the end of the day, I still feel like there\u2019s something missing. I feel like I\u2019m being cheated out of something.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cWell, that\u2019s nice; but that\u2019s like saying, \u2018Okay; you can\u2019t have cake for dessert, but I\u2019ll give you a candy you can suck on,\u2019\u201d\u2014right? It is like, \u201cNo\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>It feels empty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes; and you know\u2014some of it is that, unfortunately, I think single men and women are being told both\u2014by the culture: that they\u2019re missing out on something \/ the experience of sex\u2014and by the church: that they\u2019re missing out on something \/ that you\u2019re not a complete person if you\u2019re not married. That message is <em>constantly<\/em> coming at them from both places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe feeling and the belief is, \u201cI haven\u2019t arrived if I\u2019m still single, and I\u2019m not sexually active.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of those are lies. There\u2019s nothing in the Scripture that tells us that marriage completes us\u2014that\u2019s what Hollywood tells us. As a matter of fact, the Scripture would tell us that intimacy with God and intimacy in community, in some ways, was meant to be far more powerful in our lives than intimacy in marriage. But we don\u2019t talk about that enough; so I think that women that are single do feel like, \u201cI must be missing something.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Well, and in fact, I think what the church is saying\u2014at least, what I am hearing\u2014is that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church \/ it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> picture of the gospel. I sit there and go: \u201cWhat about me? Can I be a part of that picture? Can I try to paint some brush strokes on that? What am I?\u2014chopped liver?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do sometimes walk away, thinking that, until I go: \u201cNo; your identity is not in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYour identity is, as a daughter of the King; and you have to keep that in perspective,\u201d because if I don\u2019t, then I go down the way of being empty, and lonely, and going, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Juli, I want to go back to the statement you made, because I\u2019ll bet there are some single women\u2014and for that matter, single men\u2014as well as married people, going: \u201cWait a second. Marriage doesn\u2019t complete you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack before the Fall\u2014before sin entered\u2014it was the God of the universe who created them male and female, who said: \u201cIt is not good that man be alone. He needs a helper to come alongside him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Really good question. I look at the life, for example, of the Apostle Paul. Here we have a mature man, who had an encounter with Christ that was so revolutionary that his advice on marriage\u2014he gives a full picture of marriage in terms of being that picture of Christ and the church and the roles of marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but he also, essentially, says, \u201cIt is better for you not to marry,\u201d and he says, \u201cIf you burn with sexual passion, then get married; that\u2019s better than sinning sexually. But in the long run, it\u2019s just better for you to be free to serve Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is a man that understood the gospel far more than we could ever understand it, and understood God\u2019s design, and essentially is saying that \u201cLet\u2019s remember that marriage is just the picture.\u201d If we start only pursuing the picture, without remembering that a picture is supposed to point us to a greater reality and a greater intimacy, then we miss the whole point of the picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul had the completion of that. He didn\u2019t need the metaphor anymore, because he knew what true intimacy with God was and what encountering Christ was. I think, in his life, we see this tension of: \u201cYes; we need to all value the picture. The picture is so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBut let\u2019s remember\u2014the picture\u2019s, ultimately, supposed to point us to a <em>greater<\/em> longing, which is intimacy and being completed in the body of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and the guy who wrote that\u2014some scholars think he may have been married, at some point in his life\u2014the Apostle Paul\u2014but certainly, on his missionary journeys, he\u2019s a single man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, he\u2019s writing about the blessing of singleness, experiencing it himself; because he can be wholly devoted to the ministry that God has called him to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut still, in this culture, you can feel like, \u201cThere\u2019s some aspect\/some good gift of God that is being withheld from me.\u201d Michelle, how have you processed that in your own heart and life? How do you deal with that idea that, \u201cI feel like there\u2019s a good gift and I can\u2019t have it\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Bob, that\u2019s been a question that I\u2019ve been wrestling with lately. I heard a sermon recently; and the pastor was talking about \u201cEvery good and perfect gift comes from the Father,\u201d and He is a good, good Father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was talking about how even the good gifts that God gives could hurt and sting his children, but they\u2019re meant to pull them to the cross and pull them <em>daily<\/em> into His love and in to, basically, <em>begging<\/em> for Him and saying: \u201cI need You, God! I need You every single hour.\u201d That\u2019s where I\u2019ve been wrestling right now\u2014in my singleness and in wanting to be married\u2014is the fact that I need God every single hour. In my earthly need, I need Him more; and that\u2019s where I\u2019ve been wrestling and where I\u2019ve been.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to join you, Juli, in thanking Michelle for being honest and letting us into your life, as a single woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJuli, I appreciate you addressing what has to be a gargantuan need in our country, especially within the Christian community\/within the church, because we kind of sweep it under the rug\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and it was our God who made us male and female! There\u2019s such a need today to know, \u201cWhat is a godly view, a biblical view, a wholesome view of my sexuality if I\u2019m a single woman?\u201d\u2014and for that matter, if you\u2019re a married woman\u2014I mean, you\u2019re speaking to <em>both<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just appreciate how you\u2019ve done this. I want to encourage maybe some grandparents to get this book \/ some parents to get it and to read it\u2014and think about how you\u2019re going to pass this on to your kids and your grandkids\u2014because Juli has a concept we don\u2019t have time to get into right now; but it\u2019s called\u2014not sex ed\u2014but sexual discipleship. Honestly, I think that\u2019s a great concept\u2014to be discipled in the Scriptures, with God\u2019s viewpoint, of why and what He was up to when He made us sexual beings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and Juli, you\u2019ve designed your book to be a six-week journey for a single woman to go on, where she has a chapter a day to read through, think through, pray through to help shape her thinking as she goes on her journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of the book, <em>Sex and the Single Girl<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order Juli Slattery\u2019s book, <em>Sex and the Single Girl<\/em>: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we think these are important conversations that need to be had\u2014these are things that need to be talked about. We try to make sure, when we talk about these issues, we\u2019re doing it appropriately; we\u2019re thinking biblically; we\u2019re honoring the Lord with how we have what are arguably very difficult conversations to have at times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who make this program possible for your fellow listeners. When you donate to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you are making it possible for this program to be heard by hundreds of thousands of people every day on radio, via the web, on the FamilyLife mobile app. There are a lot of people who are now telling Alexa to \u201cPlay <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u201dYou can train your Alexa device so that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is just a voice command away. We\u2019re grateful for those of you who make all of this possible when you donate to support this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you FamilyLife\u2019s new 2019 calendar. It\u2019s all about building family togetherness, and there are activities in the calendar designed to help you do just that throughout the year. The calendar is our gift to you when you donate today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about what\u2019s at the root of this desire for sexual intimacy and \u201cHow do we deal with those root issues so that we can maintain purity in our relationships?\u201d Juli Slattery will be back with us; Michelle Hill will as well. I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:24"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.18M"],"filesize_raw":["25353704"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300421.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300421.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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});\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";s:10:\"1776600200\";s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Juli Slattery and Michelle Hill talk about sexuality as it relates to singleness. Hill, who is single, talks honestly about being single in a sex-crazed culture.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>God\u2019s design for marriage needs to be taught, and celebrated, and embraced in a local church; but as Michelle Hill points out, when you\u2019re single, hearing that message over and over again can make you feel like an outsider.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>What the church is saying is that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church; it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> picture of the gospel. So I sit there and go: \u201cWhat about me? Can I be a part of that picture? Can I try to paint some brushstrokes on that?\u201d I do sometimes walk away, going, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How can the church help single adults understand where they fit into God\u2019s design for marriage and family and singleness and sex? We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We are headed into some real family life with the topic today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I wondered how you were going to get into this broadcast. This is a first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re going to be talking about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, no, no. Let\u2019s let the author of the book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014tell us what we\u2019re going to be talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014tell us what we\u2019re going to be talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s fair.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dr. Juli Slattery joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Juli.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Thanks so much for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We also have Michelle Hill, who is the host of <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>\u2014on the team, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes; most definitely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Aren\u2019t you excited about being here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>I am! I\u2019m very excited. Anytime I get to share the table with you and Bob, and now Juli\u2014my new best friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; tell the truth, though. When I came to you and said, \u201cHey, we\u2019re going to be talking with Dr. Juli Slattery about her new book,\u201d and you said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the book about?\u201d and I told you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and she faked that she was going to the dentist!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a lame excuse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You wanted to get out of this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u201cI have to get out of here as quickly as possible.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, Juli, what\u2019s the book about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>It\u2019s called <em>Sex and the Single Girl<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And Michelle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re a single girl; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in your 40s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014never been married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You ready to talk about this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Sure! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I like that! I like that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Let\u2019s jump in!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Nothing like sitting around, talking about this book. Juli, thanks for writing it\u2014I\u2019m really glad. I think there needs to be a wholesome, healthy perspective addressed to single women today; because there\u2019s a lot in the culture to distort it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in case you don\u2019t know who Juli Slattery is, she is the cofounder, with Linda Dillow, of Authentic Intimacy, which is a ministry to women around sexual issues. She\u2019s authored a number of books. She\u2019s been married to her husband Mike since 1994 and has three sons. She is a minority in a fraternity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>That\u2019s right! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>If she can survive that, she can write this book as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou talk about how a woman has something that really profoundly impacts her view of sexuality. What is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Well, there are a lot of things that impact it, but I\u2019d say the <em>big<\/em> impact is the family they grew up in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, what they learned about male and female, and marriage and intimacy, and what they observed. That has a <em>profound<\/em> impact on how we think about our sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Talk to us about your own family of origin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>I have a wonderful family of origin. My parents are both still living, still married, and I\u2019m one of six kids. My parents came to saving knowledge of Christ when I was a year old. The knowledge of Christ and studying the Scriptures radically changed their approach to marriage and parenting, so I\u2019ve been very blessed to be raised in a God-fearing home with healthy relationships \/ a healthy understanding of marriage and sexuality. But my parents would be the first to tell you that the ways that they equipped us, back in the day, is not enough for the ways we need to be having this conversation today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Michelle, what about you? Your family of origin\u2014how did it shape your view of sexuality?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>You know, what is interesting is that\u2014sex was a bad word in our home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a word that was never uttered, at all\u2014even, I don\u2019t remember my mom ever giving me \u201cthe talk.\u201d It was stuff that I found out through my friends. I mean, I found out everything through my friends; and my mom and dad just were silent about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>About how old were you when you did find out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Twelve or thirteen. I had a good friend who had ten older brothers and sisters, and so she knew <em>everything<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She knew what was what; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>She knew everything. In our family, it just wasn\u2019t talked about; but that was the \u201970s and \u201980s, and I wouldn\u2019t say that that was not normal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I\u2019m thinking about this\u2014if that was the case, and there was no conversation about this\u2014going into your teen years and, now, all of a sudden, there\u2019s an awakening happening\u2014right?\u2014and around you are girlfriends and boyfriends, who are coupling up and starting to have sex\u2014did you have any thinking in your mind about what your boundaries should be?\u2014or where you should go?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or what you wanted your sexual life to look like, as a young, single, Christian woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>All I knew was I couldn\u2019t have sex\u2014that\u2019s all I knew. I didn\u2019t know what the boundaries <em>should<\/em> look like; I didn\u2019t know if there were any gray areas. I didn\u2019t know anything other than, \u201cYou can\u2019t have sex, because that\u2019s forbidden in our home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So your thinking was just: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u201cHands off!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cPut a fence around this, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cdon\u2019t even go there. Do not read Song of Solomon. Don\u2019t even\u2014I mean, you have to be as pure as possible.\u201d So I didn\u2019t even think about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s a story that I\u2019ve heard over and over again. I think it represents\u2014not only how the culture has twisted sexuality\u2014but in some ways, how the Christian church has presented a less-than-helpful view of sexuality, which is what you\u2019re kind of describing. I call it the purity narrative that, you know: \u201cThe highest goal is for you to not be sexual\u2014to be pure\u2014to not think sexual things or have sexual longings.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, women and girls can\u2019t make sense of their sexuality. They\u2019re struggling with, \u201cWhy do I feel the way I do?\u201d They feel tremendous shame about just the fact that they even have longings. You know, I think that\u2019s sort of a paradigm we need to shift\u2014that the purity narrative has some good things in it, but it\u2019s also creating some problems.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Well, and even as I was growing up, until\u2014I don\u2019t even know; 20s and 30s when it really hit me\u2014was the fact that I was always told: \u201cYou remain pure until you get married,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s your husband, who you\u2019re remaining pure for.\u201d It wasn\u2019t until just a few years ago, I was like: \u201cNo, no; no. I\u2019m remaining pure for <em>God<\/em>.\u201d I was never taught that, so I had to have a paradigm shift on my own\u2014well, it was God who was shifting that paradigm\u2014but it took a lot after that to even think through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember my daughter coming to me after\u2014she was hearing the purity message\u2014this was after she was married. She said, you know, \u201cWe hear that girls should be pure until they\u2019re married.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cSo, what should they be after they\u2019re married?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Exactly; yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was a great question; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have to make sure that what we\u2019re communicating is God\u2019s design for sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Right; and the biblical narrative is actually quite different than the purity narrative\u2014and is much more comprehensive and helps us understand things that we\u2019re dealing with in the culture today\u2014like: \u201cWhy is gender important?\u201d and \u201cHow do I address things, like pornography, that I might be struggling with?\u201d and \u201cWhat does this look like, going into marriage? Is having sex with my husband impure, then, or is there a way for that to be even tainted? Just because we\u2019re married, does it mean everything\u2019s okay?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to be presenting an understanding of sexuality, then, that encompasses all those struggles and questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There\u2019s something else happening, besides the family of origin\u2014it\u2019s a culture that is predatory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just want you to comment, Juli\u2014and Michelle, if you want to comment as well, please feel free\u2014\u201cWhat\u2019s happening to single women in this culture? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAre they feeling like they\u2019re being preyed upon? Are they being used, or what?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>I\u2019d love to hear your response to that, Michelle. I think, from where I sit and the women that I talk to, they\u2019re usually not thinking that deeply. It takes time for them to start connecting the dots and feeling like, \u201cI am being treated like an object.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they\u2019re doing, instead of being thoughtful about this, is just reacting\u2014that \u201cIf I want attention \/ if I want to feel worthwhile in this culture, then I have to be overtly sexual, and I have to acquiesce to the demands of culture.\u201d So they develop a lifestyle around that. Girls that are growing up in Christian homes\u2014you know, \u201cThis is how I get a boy\u2019s attention,\u201d and then the tidal wave that follows is a lot of guilt and shame that they don\u2019t know what to do with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There was an article, recently, in <em>The Wall Street Journal<\/em> that says, \u201cThere\u2019s an app for that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s an app\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014an app for single women and single men to remove the \u201cHashtag Me Too\u201d threat\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; to give consent to one another for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for legal purposes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Michelle, I\u2019m imagining what it might feel like\u2014to be a single woman, in her 30s, never married, who has said: \u201cI\u2019m going to do this God\u2019s way\u2014that\u2019s what my parents taught me, growing up. I\u2019m not going to be sexually active until I\u2019m married.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut all around her, here\u2019s what the culture\u2019s saying back to her: \u201cGuys aren\u2019t going to be interested in you; in fact, they\u2019re going to ignore you. You have to be sexual to get a guy.\u201d Secondly: \u201cThat\u2019s outmoded and outdated; that\u2019s just old thinking,\u201d and \u201cGod made you sexual anyway. Why would He give you these desires and then you just have to sit on them and stuff them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve had to wrestle with these things through your 30s and into your 40s; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh, yes. And it has been hard; because the guys are sitting out there, going, \u201cHey, we have to figure out if we\u2019re compatible.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>You know, \u201cIf this thing\u2019s going to go anywhere, we\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And they mean sexually compatible; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, \u201cWe have to try before we buy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh, exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>And you say, \u201cNo,\u201d and they\u2019re like: \u201cOhhh; well, you know what? Maybe we\u2019re not at all.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I mean, that\u2019s happened to you\u2014in that kind of direct\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014seriously!\u2014from the church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes; everyone\u2019s broken\u2014inside the church and outside the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you had the internal dialogue, where you go: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m sick of this. I\u2019m sick of playing by the rules. I\u2019m just going to chuck it all and do what I want to do\u201d? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, you asked that question; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Do you want the good-girl answer, or do you want the honest answer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want the honest answer on this. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes; I have thought that. In fact, I had a conversation, just not too long ago. I called up a friend and I said: \u201cYou have to keep me accountable; because right now, I do not know what\u2019s keeping me, other than my job at FamilyLife and the accountability that I have there, that\u2019s keeping me walking this life,\u201d because I wouldn\u2019t mind\u2014sorry to say this\u2014finding a guy and hooking up, just because I want that satisfaction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo I know what satisfaction I\u2019m looking for? I think I do; but the Michelle that is walking in the Word and walking with God is sitting there, shouting at me and saying, \u201cYou do <em>not<\/em> want to go there.\u201d The other Michelle is sitting there, going, \u201cI need something!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And Juli, the average single young woman in the church is listening to the other Michelle and saying: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m sick of playing by the rules. I guess this is what I have to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not only about satisfaction; it\u2019s about our definition of maturity. You know, I think this is a large piece of this. The culture\u2019s telling you that: \u201cIf you have not experienced sex, you\u2019re not a complete person; and you\u2019re not a mature woman.\u201d That\u2019s just a lie from the enemy. You\u2019re right, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, Michelle, I\u2019m so grateful that you were that vulnerable and honest; because that\u2019s the internal dialogue\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and very few women are not going to give into that dialogue and just say, \u201cLet me, at least, try it to say that I know what this is and I\u2019ve done this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Juli, I have to ask this question, at this point; because there are a lot of women, wondering, \u201cWhat is a healthy, God-honoring way of expressing my sexuality?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Oh yes; please! I\u2019m all ears; I\u2019m all ears.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, seriously; we look at this\u2014we\u2019re image-bearers, male and female.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>God made a woman to be a beautiful thing! How does that get expressed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Part of the confusion here is that we equate our sexuality with being sexually active; we equate intimacy with being sexually active. There are all these different aspects of what it is to be a woman, what it is to be an image-bearer, what it is to connect with people on an intimate level that really have been sabotaged in our culture. Everything is being placed in this basket of sexuality, which is why it\u2019s such a watermark event in our culture of maturity, and self-exploration, and finding out who you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of it is, I think, really going back to the beginning and define: \u201cWhat is our sexuality?\u201d because it\u2019s much more than just being sexually active. When a woman begins to understand that \u201cI am\u2014by nature, by God\u2019s design, by God\u2019s intent\u2014a sexual person, even as a single person \/ even as somebody who\u2019s not being sexually active, that there are aspects of my sexuality that don\u2019t involve sexual intimacy,\u201d then all of a sudden it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat does it mean to be female? What does it mean to long for intimacy?\u2014and pursue intimacy in community, and relationship, and friendship\u2014to express love?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to broaden our understanding\u2014that all of that is driven by our God\u2019s design of our sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I heard you talking about relationships being one of the primary ways a woman can express her sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely. A relationship that is intimate doesn\u2019t have to be sexual. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had women come up to me and say to me: \u201cI don\u2019t know the difference. Every time I\u2019ve ever experienced intimacy, it has been sexualized.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And here\u2019s the caution that I think you would give at this point too. As a woman does become intimate, relationally\u2014with someone of the same sex or the opposite sex\u2014because of this culture that these relationships are taking place in\u2014and because of homosexuality \/ because of a culture that wants to include everybody\u2014a woman needs to guard her heart; doesn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>She does, and she needs wise counsel in terms of understanding that feeling close to someone \/ wanting to share with someone does not mean that you\u2019re same-sex attracted\u2014does not mean that that relationship has to be sexualized. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t have to, again, have this conversation 20 or 30 years ago; because we experienced intimacy, and family, and friendship in a way that was healthy and not sexualized. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut today, everything seems to be sexualized, which is just adding to the confusion of \u201cHow do I be a sexual person without acting out sexually?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, Juli\u2014that a single woman; or a single man, for that point\u2014would look at their life and say: \u201cOkay; I hear what you\u2019re saying about emotional intimacy, and being close, and having a real close friend. That\u2019s all fine; but at the end of the day, I still feel like there\u2019s something missing. I feel like I\u2019m being cheated out of something.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cWell, that\u2019s nice; but that\u2019s like saying, \u2018Okay; you can\u2019t have cake for dessert, but I\u2019ll give you a candy you can suck on,\u2019\u201d\u2014right? It is like, \u201cNo\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>It feels empty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes; and you know\u2014some of it is that, unfortunately, I think single men and women are being told both\u2014by the culture: that they\u2019re missing out on something \/ the experience of sex\u2014and by the church: that they\u2019re missing out on something \/ that you\u2019re not a complete person if you\u2019re not married. That message is <em>constantly<\/em> coming at them from both places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe feeling and the belief is, \u201cI haven\u2019t arrived if I\u2019m still single, and I\u2019m not sexually active.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth of those are lies. There\u2019s nothing in the Scripture that tells us that marriage completes us\u2014that\u2019s what Hollywood tells us. As a matter of fact, the Scripture would tell us that intimacy with God and intimacy in community, in some ways, was meant to be far more powerful in our lives than intimacy in marriage. But we don\u2019t talk about that enough; so I think that women that are single do feel like, \u201cI must be missing something.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Well, and in fact, I think what the church is saying\u2014at least, what I am hearing\u2014is that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church \/ it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> picture of the gospel. I sit there and go: \u201cWhat about me? Can I be a part of that picture? Can I try to paint some brush strokes on that? What am I?\u2014chopped liver?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do sometimes walk away, thinking that, until I go: \u201cNo; your identity is not in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYour identity is, as a daughter of the King; and you have to keep that in perspective,\u201d because if I don\u2019t, then I go down the way of being empty, and lonely, and going, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Juli, I want to go back to the statement you made, because I\u2019ll bet there are some single women\u2014and for that matter, single men\u2014as well as married people, going: \u201cWait a second. Marriage doesn\u2019t complete you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack before the Fall\u2014before sin entered\u2014it was the God of the universe who created them male and female, who said: \u201cIt is not good that man be alone. He needs a helper to come alongside him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Really good question. I look at the life, for example, of the Apostle Paul. Here we have a mature man, who had an encounter with Christ that was so revolutionary that his advice on marriage\u2014he gives a full picture of marriage in terms of being that picture of Christ and the church and the roles of marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but he also, essentially, says, \u201cIt is better for you not to marry,\u201d and he says, \u201cIf you burn with sexual passion, then get married; that\u2019s better than sinning sexually. But in the long run, it\u2019s just better for you to be free to serve Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is a man that understood the gospel far more than we could ever understand it, and understood God\u2019s design, and essentially is saying that \u201cLet\u2019s remember that marriage is just the picture.\u201d If we start only pursuing the picture, without remembering that a picture is supposed to point us to a greater reality and a greater intimacy, then we miss the whole point of the picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul had the completion of that. He didn\u2019t need the metaphor anymore, because he knew what true intimacy with God was and what encountering Christ was. I think, in his life, we see this tension of: \u201cYes; we need to all value the picture. The picture is so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBut let\u2019s remember\u2014the picture\u2019s, ultimately, supposed to point us to a <em>greater<\/em> longing, which is intimacy and being completed in the body of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and the guy who wrote that\u2014some scholars think he may have been married, at some point in his life\u2014the Apostle Paul\u2014but certainly, on his missionary journeys, he\u2019s a single man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, he\u2019s writing about the blessing of singleness, experiencing it himself; because he can be wholly devoted to the ministry that God has called him to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut still, in this culture, you can feel like, \u201cThere\u2019s some aspect\/some good gift of God that is being withheld from me.\u201d Michelle, how have you processed that in your own heart and life? How do you deal with that idea that, \u201cI feel like there\u2019s a good gift and I can\u2019t have it\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Bob, that\u2019s been a question that I\u2019ve been wrestling with lately. I heard a sermon recently; and the pastor was talking about \u201cEvery good and perfect gift comes from the Father,\u201d and He is a good, good Father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was talking about how even the good gifts that God gives could hurt and sting his children, but they\u2019re meant to pull them to the cross and pull them <em>daily<\/em> into His love and in to, basically, <em>begging<\/em> for Him and saying: \u201cI need You, God! I need You every single hour.\u201d That\u2019s where I\u2019ve been wrestling right now\u2014in my singleness and in wanting to be married\u2014is the fact that I need God every single hour. In my earthly need, I need Him more; and that\u2019s where I\u2019ve been wrestling and where I\u2019ve been.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to join you, Juli, in thanking Michelle for being honest and letting us into your life, as a single woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJuli, I appreciate you addressing what has to be a gargantuan need in our country, especially within the Christian community\/within the church, because we kind of sweep it under the rug\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and it was our God who made us male and female! There\u2019s such a need today to know, \u201cWhat is a godly view, a biblical view, a wholesome view of my sexuality if I\u2019m a single woman?\u201d\u2014and for that matter, if you\u2019re a married woman\u2014I mean, you\u2019re speaking to <em>both<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just appreciate how you\u2019ve done this. I want to encourage maybe some grandparents to get this book \/ some parents to get it and to read it\u2014and think about how you\u2019re going to pass this on to your kids and your grandkids\u2014because Juli has a concept we don\u2019t have time to get into right now; but it\u2019s called\u2014not sex ed\u2014but sexual discipleship. Honestly, I think that\u2019s a great concept\u2014to be discipled in the Scriptures, with God\u2019s viewpoint, of why and what He was up to when He made us sexual beings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and Juli, you\u2019ve designed your book to be a six-week journey for a single woman to go on, where she has a chapter a day to read through, think through, pray through to help shape her thinking as she goes on her journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of the book, <em>Sex and the Single Girl<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order Juli Slattery\u2019s book, <em>Sex and the Single Girl<\/em>: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we think these are important conversations that need to be had\u2014these are things that need to be talked about. We try to make sure, when we talk about these issues, we\u2019re doing it appropriately; we\u2019re thinking biblically; we\u2019re honoring the Lord with how we have what are arguably very difficult conversations to have at times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who make this program possible for your fellow listeners. When you donate to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you are making it possible for this program to be heard by hundreds of thousands of people every day on radio, via the web, on the FamilyLife mobile app. There are a lot of people who are now telling Alexa to \u201cPlay <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u201dYou can train your Alexa device so that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is just a voice command away. We\u2019re grateful for those of you who make all of this possible when you donate to support this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you FamilyLife\u2019s new 2019 calendar. It\u2019s all about building family togetherness, and there are activities in the calendar designed to help you do just that throughout the year. The calendar is our gift to you when you donate today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about what\u2019s at the root of this desire for sexual intimacy and \u201cHow do we deal with those root issues so that we can maintain purity in our relationships?\u201d Juli Slattery will be back with us; Michelle Hill will as well. I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300421"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300421"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300421"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300421"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}