{"id":300407,"date":"2018-10-09T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-10-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/guarding-our-mouths\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:35","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:35","slug":"guarding-our-mouths","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guarding-our-mouths\/","title":{"rendered":"Guarding Our Mouths"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most of us think we communicate effectively using our devices. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reminds us that the best communication still occurs face to face, using vocal tone, body language, and complete sentences.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:52","filesize":"23.68M","filesize_raw":"24833645","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10350,2089],"tags":[4527,4570,4571,4572,4551,4569],"podcast_series":[7254],"cwp_profile":[3367],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300407","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-digital-and-media-choices","category-media-and-entertainment","tag-communication","tag-email","tag-instant-message","tag-mobile-devices","tag-smartphone","tag-speak-the-truth-in-love","podcast_series-before-you-hit-send","cwp_profile-emerson-eggerichs","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300407\/guarding-our-mouths","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300407\/guarding-our-mouths","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Lp1GkXqhqM\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guarding-our-mouths\/\">Guarding Our Mouths<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guarding-our-mouths\/embed\/#?secret=Lp1GkXqhqM\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Guarding Our Mouths&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Lp1GkXqhqM\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ve heard the expression, \u201c\u2026preaching to the choir\u201d; right? Well, Emerson Eggerichs says we need to keep in mind that, for everything we\u2019re posting on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\/putting online, it\u2019s not just the choir who\u2019s paying attention. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> We can make our point\u2014we can get people, in the backroom, high-fiving us. You know, we\u2019ve got the political divide now\u2014everybody\u2019s into one up-manship; you know? But we\u2019re losing civility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we don\u2019t step back and have enough care for ourselves to say, \u201cYou know what? I want to be an individual who, ultimately, is an influential individual. No matter where we are in the culture, they say, \u2018I don\u2019t agree with him, but he\u2019s a man of integrity,\u2019 \/ \u2018\u2026she\u2019s a woman of integrity.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If there\u2019s a disconnect between who you are in person and who you are online, that\u2019s an integrity issue \/ that\u2019s a problem. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I see you on Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> from time to time. Are you active on Twitter? Do you look at Twitter every day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you look at Twitter every week?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; usually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you\u2019re checking it out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you say the tone on Twitter is God-honoring? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Suppressed laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was that!? [Laughter] I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s just such a ridiculous question, just asking it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. No; I\u2019m afraid it isn\u2019t. I think the question is, \u201cWhat has it become?\u201d I think it\u2019s become a harmful way of human beings relating to each other. You know, real relationships don\u2019t occur in 140 characters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Even now that they\u2019ve boosted it up to 280\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that still doesn\u2019t help!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s still not how\u2014you need to know how to relate to someone in complete sentences over a lifetime. That\u2019s what makes a marriage that goes the distance and, also, relationships with our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re joined today by the author of a book. I really like the title\u2014when I saw this, I thought, \u201cWell done; well done.\u201d You\u2019re a marketing genius! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> It wasn\u2019t my idea! It was my daughter\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, was it? Well, she\u2019s a marketing genius! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> She is; she is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s called, <em>Before You Hit Send: Preventing Headache and Heartache.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Emerson Eggerichs joins us again. Welcome back, Emerson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you on Twitter? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> I am not, personally; but the organization is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the question on the table is: \u201cWhy is there this kind of lack of civility\/mean-spiritedness? What\u2019s happening?\u201d I think everybody recognizes, \u201cYou know, this doesn\u2019t seem to be a prudent way to communicate; and yet, there seems to be this ongoing narrative.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe we can address that\u2014and whether or not there is going to be a consequence to that\u2014or this can continue. I\u2019m going to take the position that these principles are eternal and, when you violate them, there is a consequence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParticularly, I think Jesus Himself said, \u201cThe mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> So there is the content that I\u2019m communicating; but the way in which that comes across is saying far more about who I am, as a person, than what I\u2019m saying about the other person in that tweet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And these principles apply whether we\u2019re face to face or whether we\u2019re texting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Absolutely; absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014whatever the form of communication is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk about the fact that more and more of our communication is happening through devices. It\u2019s happening, almost, in a detached sense. What\u2019s going on in terms of our ability to relate to one another, given the technological environment we\u2019re in, and how communication has been affected by that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Right. Well, there are two sides to that. Obviously, we see the social ineptness of some people, because they\u2019re all sitting together in a room\u2014they\u2019re even texting each other while they\u2019re two feet away from each other. At the same time, I think there\u2019s more communication going on than ever; so there\u2019s another side of this that, I think, has an upside. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m more optimistic about this if people abide by the principles, because they\u2019re not going to go away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey apply: text to text, face to face, voice to voice. Those are the dimensions\u2014you sit down with someone over a cup of coffee, or whether you\u2019re on the phone to your mother in some other state, or you\u2019re texting somebody or emailing them. These principles <em>cannot<\/em> be violated. When we violate them, even if we\u2019re innocent, we\u2019re going to end up rupturing relationships, at some level, or we\u2019re going to make an enemy, where we don\u2019t need to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, there are people who believe that\u2014if you lie about someone; you bully them; you say things that aren\u2019t necessary; you have innuendo and you\u2019re communicating something that really isn\u2019t true, but it\u2019s unclear; but it gives the impression\u2014that, somehow, we\u2019re going to win the day in that. I\u2019m taking a <em>strong <\/em>stand: you\u2019ll win short-term, but you won\u2019t win long-term. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> It will not work long-term, but many people are trying to figure that out in the politics of things as well as in business. You know, it\u2019s beginning to come back now. I know how many businessmen who are going to hire\u2014they\u2019re telling me now that, after the interview, the first thing they do is go to the person\u2019s Facebook\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014and they are determining based on this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey don\u2019t quote Jesus: \u201cThe mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart\u201d; but when they read the content, they immediately know about character. They make a decision based on how they see that person communicating content that suggests the heart and the character of the person; and they\u2019re not hiring individuals [with damaging communication].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, again, this digital footprint that we\u2019re leaving\u2014everybody has to realize there is a serious issue here. <em>Nothing<\/em> you put out there is going to go away. Worldwide Web means \u201cworld-wide.\u201d Social media means it\u2019s \u201csocial.\u201d Even though you delete it, somewhere, it\u2019s being collected. We just need to be reminded of what Jesus said\u2014that everything that I say that\u2019s a careless word\u2014I\u2019m going to have to say to my heavenly Father something about that. That\u2019s a sobering thing! It\u2019s actually discouraging; it\u2019s overwhelming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we just have to ask the Lord is, \u201cHelp us to do this!\u201d Let\u2019s me mindful\u2014we have an audience of <em>one<\/em>, ultimately. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019m saying: \u201cI may get away [with something] on social media,\u201d\u2014if that\u2019s even an option\u2014but we, who believe in Christ and trust Him, He\u2019s the one that said, every careless word, we will have to give an account for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why I think this book was so important to me. Over the years, I wanted to make sure: \u201cDid I say things that were untrue? Did I say things that were unkind? Did I say things that were unnecessary? Did I say things that were unclear?\u201d more often than not. Because of those four questions that I ask myself as a checklist, I kept myself out of a <em>lot<\/em> of trouble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to say that I think that\u2019s why Joy, my daughter, was watching this. She wanted me to write this book, because she saw me attempt to abide by that\u2014not perfectly\u2014but I\u2019ll tell you\u2014I have everything within me to make a mess of things real quick! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you\u2014on a Saturday morning, I was reading the newspaper\u2014this goes way back\u2014but just to your point: I was reading the newspaper. I read about how a\u2014for all practical purposes\u2014a pornographic movie was going to be shown at the local theater. It was called NC17; I don\u2019t even know if that category exists anymore!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think they have those ratings anymore; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was beyond \u201cR\u201d; and I thought, \u201cI need to do something!\u201d You know: \u201cAll that is necessary for evil to triumph,\u201d\u2014Edmund Burke said\u2014\u201cis for good men to do nothing.\u201d I decided I was <em>not <\/em>going to do nothing. I also decided that, in order to keep my own passions under restraint, I would take my daughters with me as I went down to talk to the theater manager. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wanted them, first of all, to see their dad taking a stand and dealing with kindness with someone, where he disagreed with them; but I also wanted to be accountable to them, to make sure I didn\u2019t lose my cool with this guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So we went down there, and we met with the manager. I know it was not his decision\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014he\u2019s just doing what the big corporation said to do. I just said: \u201cYou know, I want you to know I\u2019m just a daddy. I\u2019ve got six kids; here are three of my daughters. I just ask you, if you\u2019re a dad, would you want your daughters to be treated like what you\u2019re showing in there?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cNo, sir!\u201d I said, \u201cI would just like for you to pass that on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got in the car, along with the girls; and we drove back home. I don\u2019t remember what they said; but I do have a sense in which I had dealt with that guy, speaking the truth with kindness and fairness. I recognized my own weakness\u2014I\u2019ve got one\u2014because I\u2019m a passionate person, I can overstate things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s good, if we know our own liabilities in these situations\u2014and if it\u2019s in our most intimate relationships, like with our spouse\u2014it\u2019s not good to have a knock-down, drag-out argument with your spouse at midnight. Maybe you just need to call a timeout and reschedule this debate\/disagreement\u2014whatever it is\u2014for tomorrow. Recognize your weaknesses, so you can speak the truth with kindness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> It illustrates something\u2014and you modeled this when you talked, last time, about Hook Rainey and the integrity of the way your father walked and lived. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the challenges for us, as parents, is to realize it\u2019s important for us to abide by this, even if the people around us don\u2019t; because people are watching. Our kids are watching. For them to see this\u2014what a legacy! What a joy to know that, when we\u2019re in our casket, our children will say: \u201cMy mom\u201d or \u201cMy dad spoke the truth. They were kind every time they did that. They only said what was necessary. There was never any gossip in our home. They were always clear, and they taught us this by the way that they <em>lived<\/em>.\u201d Your dad did that; you did that toward your daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe challenge for all of us is to be reminded here: \u201cIt isn\u2019t just enough for me to get away with something so that, in my self-serving, I\u2019ll lie and be unkind and rude; because I can get something.\u201d Yes, you can, short-term; but it\u2019s the whole idea that people are watching. What are they watching? And what are we <em>really<\/em> going to gain in the end?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it\u2019s like the father in a line with his six-year-old boy. They\u2019re getting in to some amusement park or whatever, and somebody drops a $10 bill out of their pocket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe boy sees the [bill] come out of that person\u2019s pocket. The dad reaches down, picks up the $10 bill, and puts it in his own pocket. I\u2019ve made the point\u2014for $10, you just sent a message to your son\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014that integrity doesn\u2019t matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> For $10, you just sold your integrity!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe flip side of that: the boy was in court; he was ten years old; he was told to testify about something that he saw. The lawyer was trying to twist him out of it: \u201cYour dad told you what to say here; didn\u2019t he?!\u201d \u201cYes, sir; he did.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s what I thought! He told you what to say! What did he tell you to say, son?\u201d My dad said: \u201cSon, just tell the truth. That\u2019s all you have to keep telling, over and over again.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let me ask you about Dennis\u2019s trip to the movie theater; because some people might say: \u201cOkay; was that necessary? Did he need to go down there and do that? Did he need to speak out on something like that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Why are you questioning me?! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because here\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to get to: \u201cHow do we apply that principle?\u201d and \u201cWhy would anybody communicate something that\u2019s unnecessary? What\u2019s our motive for doing that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp us practically with the whole idea of how I weigh out whether this is necessary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Well, I think the point we made the other time: \u201c\u2026if it\u2019s true; if it\u2019s kind; if it\u2019s necessary; if it\u2019s clear\u201d\u2014each of us has to decide. You know, in this case: \u201cYou know what? If good men do nothing, evil\u2019s going to triumph,\u201d\u2014in that regard. And even though Dennis made clear reference to the fact that this probably wasn\u2019t going to go anywhere, there was a sense, in his own heart, that somebody needed to give voice to something; because it was the <em>right <\/em>thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComing to mind is Luther. There were some beggars, who came to the home, late at night and so, \u201cGive to those who ask.\u201d Luther gave them all this stuff; you know? And early in the morning, they were awakened; because these guys had come back. They were burglars; they had broken into the home, and they were stealing stuff. Katie, his wife, had been suspicious of them when they came to the door. So, when they then burglarized, and the police had come, she was saying to him: \u201cSee? I told you! Would you do it again?\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 He said, \u201cYes, I would; because the Lord said, \u2018Give to those who ask\u2019.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere comes a moment when, sometimes, it isn\u2019t just about pragmatics and what\u2019s practical. We have to be obedient to that sense that, \u201cThis is the right thing for me to do.\u201d And, in that case, the right thing was to be an example before your daughters as well. There was more going on than just the manager.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> But I think that\u2019s where it begins. I think sometimes, maybe, we just need to say: \u201cYou know what? Something\u2019s bothering me. Maybe\u2014if I say it in truth, and say it kindly, because it\u2019s necessary and clear\u2014nothing\u2019s going to come of this; but you know what? I need to learn to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost people are passive; most people are phlegmatic; most people sit back and don\u2019t do anything. The message I\u2019m sending would be: \u201cYou know what? You need to step out, even if you say to yourself, \u2018It may not result in anything.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s okay. It\u2019s because the Lord wants you to do this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it doesn\u2019t mean you have to be the most gifted or you have to be prophetic. You may just have to be disturbed about what\u2019s taking place and say: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m going to say something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m going to do my best to say it in a way where it gets heard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m going to push back against this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Well, on this point\u2014people say, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not a great communicator.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the points I make is\u2014people that you think are great communicators are that way because they work really hard at these four principles. It isn\u2019t a matter of being eloquent or a naturally-gifted person. It\u2019s a matter of taking time to apply these four things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say to that person out there, who thinks: \u201cWell, I\u2019m not a Dennis,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not an Emerson,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not a Bob,\u201d\u2014\u201cHow did Dennis, Emerson, and Bob get to this position?\u201d\u2014because we made a commitment that we were going to guard our mouth as best we could, and we were going to follow our passions\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014in such a way, though, that it didn\u2019t turn people off but, hopefully, was more appealing and was a sweet aroma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There have been mornings that I have come down into the breakfast room. Mary Ann is usually up before I am, so I\u2019ll come down. I have, on occasion, left the garage door open all night long\u2014you know, I just didn\u2019t put the garage door down. I pulled the car in; I leave it open all night long, which does not serve my wife well in terms of her security.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right? She\u2019ll wake up, find that, and it is like, \u201cI\u2019m not being well-protected.\u201d She didn\u2019t realize she was threatened in the night, but now she\u2019s feeling it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere have been times, when Mary Ann has said: \u201cI need to share this with Bob\u2014that he left the garage open.\u201d There have been other times, when she has said, \u201cI\u2019m just going to let it go.\u201d I think what she has done is\u2014she has tried to weigh out, in terms of, \u201cIs this necessary?\u2014that I share this at this time?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She has tried to weigh out: \u201cWhat are the circumstances that were involved in all of this? Is Bob preoccupied with something? Is this <em>common<\/em> for him to do this? Is this a pattern that he\u2019s getting into?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She has tried to ask some evaluative questions and has sometimes said, \u201cYes; I need to bring it up,\u201d but other times said, \u201cNo; I\u2019m just going to let it go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do that all of the time in marriage, when we overlook some things and choose to confront on other things. What are the kinds of criteria we ought to bring to that question?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Well, I think that\u2019s a great illustration: \u201cIs it really necessary?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne woman said, \u201cYou know that little thing\u2014in the back of your brain\u2014that tells you not to say something before you say it?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t have that little thing!\u201d [Laughter] You know, \u201cI don\u2019t have that little thing.\u201d [Laughter] We justify the fact that we don\u2019t have a filter; and we\u2019re just blurting things out. Then we wonder why, when we show up, everybody else is <em>leaving<\/em>. They don\u2019t want to be around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think part of your wife\u2019s wisdom there is that she has paced herself; you know? \u201cThere is a point where it is necessary to remind him of my insecurities \/ my need to be protected; but there are other times: \u2018You know what? It\u2019s really not necessary. He\u2019s a good-willed man who would die for me if I don\u2019t kill him first. [Laughter] This was a situation where he was overwhelmed with all that\u2019s going on.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s no right or wrong answer in this, but it illustrates her willingness to practice these principles. Again, this is a great illustration; because we\u2019re never going to <em>know<\/em> the perfect way of doing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> There isn\u2019t! You know, it\u2019s not the \u201cperfect\u201d way. Sometimes, we may say it\u2019s not necessary; and maybe it <em>was <\/em>necessary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> We think it was kind, and they didn\u2019t. We thought it was unkind, and they didn\u2019t. Again, the excitement is that checklist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of the challenge with social media is\u2014I begin the book talking about the fact that we need to do what we do with emails with the understanding that: \u201cThis might be read again at a deposition before the Supreme Court.\u201d [Laughter] You know, there has to be this serious, I think, commitment to doing this right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, in our culture, that\u2019s exactly the growing sentiment\u2014whether it\u2019s our conduct\/how we treat people\u2014with sexual harassment issues \/ whether it\u2019s emails that were using suggestive language\u2014there is a price to pay when we cross over. We think we can get away with this stuff. It\u2019ll come back to bite us, and it will discredit us until we go to our grave. There are people, now, who have completely lost all credibility because they didn\u2019t abide by these things, whether it was in emails or whether it was in personal\/inter-personal dynamics. There is a price to pay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When I think about what I tweet, or if I\u2019m going to post something on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, I do try to stop and think: \u201cOkay; there are going to be people who disagree with me. If I were to say this to them, face to face, would I say it this way?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cwith this tone?\u2014with these words?\u201d In the blindness of social media, where you\u2019re not face to face with somebody, you can be more reckless with your words. If you stopped and asked the question, \u201cIs this how I would say it if I were face to face with somebody who might disagree with me?\u201d that might moderate the tone of what you\u2019re saying significantly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> That\u2019s why I wrote the book; because again, you cannot violate these things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> We can short-term. We can make our point; we can get people, in the backroom, high-fiving us. You know, we\u2019ve got the political divide now; everybody\u2019s into one up-manship; you know? But we\u2019re losing civility and the idea that, if we sacrifice truth in order to win a debate, you will win that debate. It\u2019s kind of like the whole idea that you can win battle after battle after battle; but eventually, you lose the war.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> And if we don\u2019t step back and have enough care for ourselves to say: \u201cYou know what? I want to be an individual who, ultimately, is an influential individual\u2014and both sides of the aisle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cno matter where we are in the culture\u2014they say, \u2018I don\u2019t agree with him, but he\u2019s a man of integrity,\u2019 \/ \u2018\u2026she\u2019s a woman of integrity.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do this! We can be a person who is winsome even though the people that we\u2019re talking to do not like what we\u2019re saying. We can do this; and we need to be reminded that that comes through civility, and personal dignity, and also believing in other people. That\u2019s the challenge that I\u2019m extending to people now: \u201cAbide by these four principles; and when you get near to death, you will look back and not regret the impact that you made.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, if we could start a national campaign to have the entire nation memorize Ephesians 4:31 and 32, I think we could change the tone of the discourse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Do you want to read it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to read it right now; absolutely! \u201cLet all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Back up! \u201cAll bitterness, wrath, slander, clamor\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014\u201canger\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cput away from you.\u201d That\u2019s a good starting point; because there\u2019s a lot of bitterness, anger, wrath\u2014slander going on!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand all malice.\u201d I\u2019m not sure exactly what malice means, but it seems to me to be thinking about getting even.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is wicked intent; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s trying to get even with somebody. And then, the last part of that verse\u2014verse 32: \u201cBe kind to one another, tenderhearted,\u201d\u2014imagine that!\u2014\u201cforgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, did you deserve forgiveness? I didn\u2019t, but He forgave me. That means those of us, who profess to follow Christ, ought to be image-bearers of the forgiveness that\u2019s been afforded to us. It\u2019s why what you\u2019ve written here is so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m grieved by some of the national discourse that\u2019s taking place\u2014I really am. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI fear for what we are training our children to do, and to think, and a way of behaving, going forward. It may be that we\u2019re approaching a time when we have to turn off some of the media, and turn back to the Bible, and memorize these verses and talk about them. Then talk about, \u201cHow can we do that as a family?\u201d You\u2019re not going to do it perfectly! So when you fail, what do you do?\u2014you ask the other person to forgive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis: That\u2019s really when I think families are operating most and looking like what they\u2019re supposed to look like, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: And you know, I think a family could benefit just from spending time in those four questions; but I\u2019m thinking about a husband and wife reading through this book together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis: That\u2019s too convicting! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: You don\u2019t want to go that far; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEmerson: No, no; of course not! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis: That would really change the way husbands and wives relate to one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: And when that changes, that\u2019s going to affect the whole dynamic of the family. When mom\u2019s and dad\u2019s communication shifts, and kids are seeing that mom and dad speak the truth in love\u2014that they\u2019re kind and tender-hearted; that they put away anger, wrath, malice and slander\u2014that changes everything!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>May I grab the soapbox back, just for a second?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think what we\u2019re talking about here is really important for the next generation and how they\u2019re going to practice the faith we\u2019re trying to pass on to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When they do not see us, as adults, modeling what the Bible teaches\u2014they hear us talk about it! They go with us, as their parents, to church, and hear these passages taught\u2014but they don\u2019t see mommy and daddy practicing it; living by it; and when they fail, they admit it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s when children will start to grab hold of what we\u2019ve got and: \u201cThat\u2019s authentic! That\u2019s no bologna faith there!\u201d That\u2019s what we have to be passing on to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so before you post something on Facebook or hit send on an email, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link for the online assessment. I think, again, this would be great for a husband and wife to do together. It\u2019s also great for all of the kids in the family to go through this assessment and see where your strengths and weaknesses are in your interpersonal relationships \/ your communication with one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, get a copy of the book, <em>Before You Hit Send<\/em>, from Emerson Eggerichs, and read it together, as a couple or as a family. I\u2019ve already mentioned this week that this is a book that Christian high schools are starting to use \/ youth groups are going through this book together\u2014this is practical stuff. Again, you can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mentioned how practical this issue is\u2014the issue we\u2019re talking about today. One of the things we\u2019re committed to, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is to providing you with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage, for your family, for your extended family relationships. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014that\u2019s the mission of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time you join with us and support this ministry, you are making possible this kind of practical help and hope for friends and neighbors; people in your community; actually, people around the world! There are hundreds of thousands of people, today, who have been tuned in to what we\u2019re talking about. As a supporter of <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you have helped to make that possible. So, on behalf of those listeners, who have benefitted from today\u2019s program, \u201cThank you for your financial support.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today so that your friends and neighbors and people all around the world can benefit from this program in the weeks and months to come, you can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. We would like to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d this month by sending you the 2019 FamilyLife calendar that\u2019s all about building togetherness in your family. That\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you can mail your donation to us if you\u2019d prefer. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the power of humor\u2014why funny is powerful. Michael, Jr. is going to join us\u2014he\u2019s a stand-up comedian. If you saw the movie, <em>War Room<\/em>, he was in that movie. He\u2019s got a new movie that\u2019s coming out next week. We\u2019re going to talk about that with him tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:25:52"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.68M"],"filesize_raw":["24833645"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300407.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300407.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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of us think we communicate effectively using our devices. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reminds us that the best communication still occurs face to face, using vocal tone, body language, and complete sentences.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-10-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ve heard the expression, \u201c\u2026preaching to the choir\u201d; right? Well, Emerson Eggerichs says we need to keep in mind that, for everything we\u2019re posting on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\/putting online, it\u2019s not just the choir who\u2019s paying attention. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> We can make our point\u2014we can get people, in the backroom, high-fiving us. You know, we\u2019ve got the political divide now\u2014everybody\u2019s into one up-manship; you know? But we\u2019re losing civility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we don\u2019t step back and have enough care for ourselves to say, \u201cYou know what? I want to be an individual who, ultimately, is an influential individual. No matter where we are in the culture, they say, \u2018I don\u2019t agree with him, but he\u2019s a man of integrity,\u2019 \/ \u2018\u2026she\u2019s a woman of integrity.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If there\u2019s a disconnect between who you are in person and who you are online, that\u2019s an integrity issue \/ that\u2019s a problem. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I see you on Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> from time to time. Are you active on Twitter? Do you look at Twitter every day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you look at Twitter every week?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; usually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you\u2019re checking it out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you say the tone on Twitter is God-honoring? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Suppressed laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was that!? [Laughter] I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s just such a ridiculous question, just asking it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. No; I\u2019m afraid it isn\u2019t. I think the question is, \u201cWhat has it become?\u201d I think it\u2019s become a harmful way of human beings relating to each other. You know, real relationships don\u2019t occur in 140 characters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Even now that they\u2019ve boosted it up to 280\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that still doesn\u2019t help!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s still not how\u2014you need to know how to relate to someone in complete sentences over a lifetime. That\u2019s what makes a marriage that goes the distance and, also, relationships with our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re joined today by the author of a book. I really like the title\u2014when I saw this, I thought, \u201cWell done; well done.\u201d You\u2019re a marketing genius! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> It wasn\u2019t my idea! It was my daughter\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, was it? Well, she\u2019s a marketing genius! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> She is; she is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s called, <em>Before You Hit Send: Preventing Headache and Heartache.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Emerson Eggerichs joins us again. Welcome back, Emerson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you on Twitter? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> I am not, personally; but the organization is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the question on the table is: \u201cWhy is there this kind of lack of civility\/mean-spiritedness? What\u2019s happening?\u201d I think everybody recognizes, \u201cYou know, this doesn\u2019t seem to be a prudent way to communicate; and yet, there seems to be this ongoing narrative.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe we can address that\u2014and whether or not there is going to be a consequence to that\u2014or this can continue. I\u2019m going to take the position that these principles are eternal and, when you violate them, there is a consequence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParticularly, I think Jesus Himself said, \u201cThe mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> So there is the content that I\u2019m communicating; but the way in which that comes across is saying far more about who I am, as a person, than what I\u2019m saying about the other person in that tweet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And these principles apply whether we\u2019re face to face or whether we\u2019re texting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Absolutely; absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014whatever the form of communication is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk about the fact that more and more of our communication is happening through devices. It\u2019s happening, almost, in a detached sense. What\u2019s going on in terms of our ability to relate to one another, given the technological environment we\u2019re in, and how communication has been affected by that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Right. Well, there are two sides to that. Obviously, we see the social ineptness of some people, because they\u2019re all sitting together in a room\u2014they\u2019re even texting each other while they\u2019re two feet away from each other. At the same time, I think there\u2019s more communication going on than ever; so there\u2019s another side of this that, I think, has an upside. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m more optimistic about this if people abide by the principles, because they\u2019re not going to go away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey apply: text to text, face to face, voice to voice. Those are the dimensions\u2014you sit down with someone over a cup of coffee, or whether you\u2019re on the phone to your mother in some other state, or you\u2019re texting somebody or emailing them. These principles <em>cannot<\/em> be violated. When we violate them, even if we\u2019re innocent, we\u2019re going to end up rupturing relationships, at some level, or we\u2019re going to make an enemy, where we don\u2019t need to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, there are people who believe that\u2014if you lie about someone; you bully them; you say things that aren\u2019t necessary; you have innuendo and you\u2019re communicating something that really isn\u2019t true, but it\u2019s unclear; but it gives the impression\u2014that, somehow, we\u2019re going to win the day in that. I\u2019m taking a <em>strong <\/em>stand: you\u2019ll win short-term, but you won\u2019t win long-term. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> It will not work long-term, but many people are trying to figure that out in the politics of things as well as in business. You know, it\u2019s beginning to come back now. I know how many businessmen who are going to hire\u2014they\u2019re telling me now that, after the interview, the first thing they do is go to the person\u2019s Facebook\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014and they are determining based on this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey don\u2019t quote Jesus: \u201cThe mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart\u201d; but when they read the content, they immediately know about character. They make a decision based on how they see that person communicating content that suggests the heart and the character of the person; and they\u2019re not hiring individuals [with damaging communication].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, again, this digital footprint that we\u2019re leaving\u2014everybody has to realize there is a serious issue here. <em>Nothing<\/em> you put out there is going to go away. Worldwide Web means \u201cworld-wide.\u201d Social media means it\u2019s \u201csocial.\u201d Even though you delete it, somewhere, it\u2019s being collected. We just need to be reminded of what Jesus said\u2014that everything that I say that\u2019s a careless word\u2014I\u2019m going to have to say to my heavenly Father something about that. That\u2019s a sobering thing! It\u2019s actually discouraging; it\u2019s overwhelming. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we just have to ask the Lord is, \u201cHelp us to do this!\u201d Let\u2019s me mindful\u2014we have an audience of <em>one<\/em>, ultimately. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019m saying: \u201cI may get away [with something] on social media,\u201d\u2014if that\u2019s even an option\u2014but we, who believe in Christ and trust Him, He\u2019s the one that said, every careless word, we will have to give an account for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why I think this book was so important to me. Over the years, I wanted to make sure: \u201cDid I say things that were untrue? Did I say things that were unkind? Did I say things that were unnecessary? Did I say things that were unclear?\u201d more often than not. Because of those four questions that I ask myself as a checklist, I kept myself out of a <em>lot<\/em> of trouble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to say that I think that\u2019s why Joy, my daughter, was watching this. She wanted me to write this book, because she saw me attempt to abide by that\u2014not perfectly\u2014but I\u2019ll tell you\u2014I have everything within me to make a mess of things real quick! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you\u2014on a Saturday morning, I was reading the newspaper\u2014this goes way back\u2014but just to your point: I was reading the newspaper. I read about how a\u2014for all practical purposes\u2014a pornographic movie was going to be shown at the local theater. It was called NC17; I don\u2019t even know if that category exists anymore!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think they have those ratings anymore; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was beyond \u201cR\u201d; and I thought, \u201cI need to do something!\u201d You know: \u201cAll that is necessary for evil to triumph,\u201d\u2014Edmund Burke said\u2014\u201cis for good men to do nothing.\u201d I decided I was <em>not <\/em>going to do nothing. I also decided that, in order to keep my own passions under restraint, I would take my daughters with me as I went down to talk to the theater manager. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wanted them, first of all, to see their dad taking a stand and dealing with kindness with someone, where he disagreed with them; but I also wanted to be accountable to them, to make sure I didn\u2019t lose my cool with this guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So we went down there, and we met with the manager. I know it was not his decision\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014he\u2019s just doing what the big corporation said to do. I just said: \u201cYou know, I want you to know I\u2019m just a daddy. I\u2019ve got six kids; here are three of my daughters. I just ask you, if you\u2019re a dad, would you want your daughters to be treated like what you\u2019re showing in there?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cNo, sir!\u201d I said, \u201cI would just like for you to pass that on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got in the car, along with the girls; and we drove back home. I don\u2019t remember what they said; but I do have a sense in which I had dealt with that guy, speaking the truth with kindness and fairness. I recognized my own weakness\u2014I\u2019ve got one\u2014because I\u2019m a passionate person, I can overstate things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s good, if we know our own liabilities in these situations\u2014and if it\u2019s in our most intimate relationships, like with our spouse\u2014it\u2019s not good to have a knock-down, drag-out argument with your spouse at midnight. Maybe you just need to call a timeout and reschedule this debate\/disagreement\u2014whatever it is\u2014for tomorrow. Recognize your weaknesses, so you can speak the truth with kindness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> It illustrates something\u2014and you modeled this when you talked, last time, about Hook Rainey and the integrity of the way your father walked and lived. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the challenges for us, as parents, is to realize it\u2019s important for us to abide by this, even if the people around us don\u2019t; because people are watching. Our kids are watching. For them to see this\u2014what a legacy! What a joy to know that, when we\u2019re in our casket, our children will say: \u201cMy mom\u201d or \u201cMy dad spoke the truth. They were kind every time they did that. They only said what was necessary. There was never any gossip in our home. They were always clear, and they taught us this by the way that they <em>lived<\/em>.\u201d Your dad did that; you did that toward your daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe challenge for all of us is to be reminded here: \u201cIt isn\u2019t just enough for me to get away with something so that, in my self-serving, I\u2019ll lie and be unkind and rude; because I can get something.\u201d Yes, you can, short-term; but it\u2019s the whole idea that people are watching. What are they watching? And what are we <em>really<\/em> going to gain in the end?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it\u2019s like the father in a line with his six-year-old boy. They\u2019re getting in to some amusement park or whatever, and somebody drops a $10 bill out of their pocket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe boy sees the [bill] come out of that person\u2019s pocket. The dad reaches down, picks up the $10 bill, and puts it in his own pocket. I\u2019ve made the point\u2014for $10, you just sent a message to your son\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014that integrity doesn\u2019t matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> For $10, you just sold your integrity!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe flip side of that: the boy was in court; he was ten years old; he was told to testify about something that he saw. The lawyer was trying to twist him out of it: \u201cYour dad told you what to say here; didn\u2019t he?!\u201d \u201cYes, sir; he did.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s what I thought! He told you what to say! What did he tell you to say, son?\u201d My dad said: \u201cSon, just tell the truth. That\u2019s all you have to keep telling, over and over again.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let me ask you about Dennis\u2019s trip to the movie theater; because some people might say: \u201cOkay; was that necessary? Did he need to go down there and do that? Did he need to speak out on something like that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Why are you questioning me?! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because here\u2019s what I\u2019m trying to get to: \u201cHow do we apply that principle?\u201d and \u201cWhy would anybody communicate something that\u2019s unnecessary? What\u2019s our motive for doing that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp us practically with the whole idea of how I weigh out whether this is necessary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Well, I think the point we made the other time: \u201c\u2026if it\u2019s true; if it\u2019s kind; if it\u2019s necessary; if it\u2019s clear\u201d\u2014each of us has to decide. You know, in this case: \u201cYou know what? If good men do nothing, evil\u2019s going to triumph,\u201d\u2014in that regard. And even though Dennis made clear reference to the fact that this probably wasn\u2019t going to go anywhere, there was a sense, in his own heart, that somebody needed to give voice to something; because it was the <em>right <\/em>thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComing to mind is Luther. There were some beggars, who came to the home, late at night and so, \u201cGive to those who ask.\u201d Luther gave them all this stuff; you know? And early in the morning, they were awakened; because these guys had come back. They were burglars; they had broken into the home, and they were stealing stuff. Katie, his wife, had been suspicious of them when they came to the door. So, when they then burglarized, and the police had come, she was saying to him: \u201cSee? I told you! Would you do it again?\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 He said, \u201cYes, I would; because the Lord said, \u2018Give to those who ask\u2019.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere comes a moment when, sometimes, it isn\u2019t just about pragmatics and what\u2019s practical. We have to be obedient to that sense that, \u201cThis is the right thing for me to do.\u201d And, in that case, the right thing was to be an example before your daughters as well. There was more going on than just the manager.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> But I think that\u2019s where it begins. I think sometimes, maybe, we just need to say: \u201cYou know what? Something\u2019s bothering me. Maybe\u2014if I say it in truth, and say it kindly, because it\u2019s necessary and clear\u2014nothing\u2019s going to come of this; but you know what? I need to learn to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost people are passive; most people are phlegmatic; most people sit back and don\u2019t do anything. The message I\u2019m sending would be: \u201cYou know what? You need to step out, even if you say to yourself, \u2018It may not result in anything.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s okay. It\u2019s because the Lord wants you to do this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it doesn\u2019t mean you have to be the most gifted or you have to be prophetic. You may just have to be disturbed about what\u2019s taking place and say: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m going to say something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m going to do my best to say it in a way where it gets heard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m going to push back against this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Well, on this point\u2014people say, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not a great communicator.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the points I make is\u2014people that you think are great communicators are that way because they work really hard at these four principles. It isn\u2019t a matter of being eloquent or a naturally-gifted person. It\u2019s a matter of taking time to apply these four things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say to that person out there, who thinks: \u201cWell, I\u2019m not a Dennis,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not an Emerson,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not a Bob,\u201d\u2014\u201cHow did Dennis, Emerson, and Bob get to this position?\u201d\u2014because we made a commitment that we were going to guard our mouth as best we could, and we were going to follow our passions\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014in such a way, though, that it didn\u2019t turn people off but, hopefully, was more appealing and was a sweet aroma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There have been mornings that I have come down into the breakfast room. Mary Ann is usually up before I am, so I\u2019ll come down. I have, on occasion, left the garage door open all night long\u2014you know, I just didn\u2019t put the garage door down. I pulled the car in; I leave it open all night long, which does not serve my wife well in terms of her security.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right? She\u2019ll wake up, find that, and it is like, \u201cI\u2019m not being well-protected.\u201d She didn\u2019t realize she was threatened in the night, but now she\u2019s feeling it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere have been times, when Mary Ann has said: \u201cI need to share this with Bob\u2014that he left the garage open.\u201d There have been other times, when she has said, \u201cI\u2019m just going to let it go.\u201d I think what she has done is\u2014she has tried to weigh out, in terms of, \u201cIs this necessary?\u2014that I share this at this time?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She has tried to weigh out: \u201cWhat are the circumstances that were involved in all of this? Is Bob preoccupied with something? Is this <em>common<\/em> for him to do this? Is this a pattern that he\u2019s getting into?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She has tried to ask some evaluative questions and has sometimes said, \u201cYes; I need to bring it up,\u201d but other times said, \u201cNo; I\u2019m just going to let it go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do that all of the time in marriage, when we overlook some things and choose to confront on other things. What are the kinds of criteria we ought to bring to that question?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Well, I think that\u2019s a great illustration: \u201cIs it really necessary?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne woman said, \u201cYou know that little thing\u2014in the back of your brain\u2014that tells you not to say something before you say it?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t have that little thing!\u201d [Laughter] You know, \u201cI don\u2019t have that little thing.\u201d [Laughter] We justify the fact that we don\u2019t have a filter; and we\u2019re just blurting things out. Then we wonder why, when we show up, everybody else is <em>leaving<\/em>. They don\u2019t want to be around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think part of your wife\u2019s wisdom there is that she has paced herself; you know? \u201cThere is a point where it is necessary to remind him of my insecurities \/ my need to be protected; but there are other times: \u2018You know what? It\u2019s really not necessary. He\u2019s a good-willed man who would die for me if I don\u2019t kill him first. [Laughter] This was a situation where he was overwhelmed with all that\u2019s going on.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s no right or wrong answer in this, but it illustrates her willingness to practice these principles. Again, this is a great illustration; because we\u2019re never going to <em>know<\/em> the perfect way of doing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> There isn\u2019t! You know, it\u2019s not the \u201cperfect\u201d way. Sometimes, we may say it\u2019s not necessary; and maybe it <em>was <\/em>necessary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> We think it was kind, and they didn\u2019t. We thought it was unkind, and they didn\u2019t. Again, the excitement is that checklist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of the challenge with social media is\u2014I begin the book talking about the fact that we need to do what we do with emails with the understanding that: \u201cThis might be read again at a deposition before the Supreme Court.\u201d [Laughter] You know, there has to be this serious, I think, commitment to doing this right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, in our culture, that\u2019s exactly the growing sentiment\u2014whether it\u2019s our conduct\/how we treat people\u2014with sexual harassment issues \/ whether it\u2019s emails that were using suggestive language\u2014there is a price to pay when we cross over. We think we can get away with this stuff. It\u2019ll come back to bite us, and it will discredit us until we go to our grave. There are people, now, who have completely lost all credibility because they didn\u2019t abide by these things, whether it was in emails or whether it was in personal\/inter-personal dynamics. There is a price to pay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When I think about what I tweet, or if I\u2019m going to post something on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, I do try to stop and think: \u201cOkay; there are going to be people who disagree with me. If I were to say this to them, face to face, would I say it this way?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cwith this tone?\u2014with these words?\u201d In the blindness of social media, where you\u2019re not face to face with somebody, you can be more reckless with your words. If you stopped and asked the question, \u201cIs this how I would say it if I were face to face with somebody who might disagree with me?\u201d that might moderate the tone of what you\u2019re saying significantly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> That\u2019s why I wrote the book; because again, you cannot violate these things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> We can short-term. We can make our point; we can get people, in the backroom, high-fiving us. You know, we\u2019ve got the political divide now; everybody\u2019s into one up-manship; you know? But we\u2019re losing civility and the idea that, if we sacrifice truth in order to win a debate, you will win that debate. It\u2019s kind of like the whole idea that you can win battle after battle after battle; but eventually, you lose the war.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> And if we don\u2019t step back and have enough care for ourselves to say: \u201cYou know what? I want to be an individual who, ultimately, is an influential individual\u2014and both sides of the aisle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cno matter where we are in the culture\u2014they say, \u2018I don\u2019t agree with him, but he\u2019s a man of integrity,\u2019 \/ \u2018\u2026she\u2019s a woman of integrity.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do this! We can be a person who is winsome even though the people that we\u2019re talking to do not like what we\u2019re saying. We can do this; and we need to be reminded that that comes through civility, and personal dignity, and also believing in other people. That\u2019s the challenge that I\u2019m extending to people now: \u201cAbide by these four principles; and when you get near to death, you will look back and not regret the impact that you made.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, if we could start a national campaign to have the entire nation memorize Ephesians 4:31 and 32, I think we could change the tone of the discourse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> Do you want to read it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to read it right now; absolutely! \u201cLet all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Back up! \u201cAll bitterness, wrath, slander, clamor\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emerson:<\/strong> \u2014\u201canger\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cput away from you.\u201d That\u2019s a good starting point; because there\u2019s a lot of bitterness, anger, wrath\u2014slander going on!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand all malice.\u201d I\u2019m not sure exactly what malice means, but it seems to me to be thinking about getting even.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is wicked intent; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s trying to get even with somebody. And then, the last part of that verse\u2014verse 32: \u201cBe kind to one another, tenderhearted,\u201d\u2014imagine that!\u2014\u201cforgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, did you deserve forgiveness? I didn\u2019t, but He forgave me. That means those of us, who profess to follow Christ, ought to be image-bearers of the forgiveness that\u2019s been afforded to us. It\u2019s why what you\u2019ve written here is so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m grieved by some of the national discourse that\u2019s taking place\u2014I really am. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI fear for what we are training our children to do, and to think, and a way of behaving, going forward. It may be that we\u2019re approaching a time when we have to turn off some of the media, and turn back to the Bible, and memorize these verses and talk about them. Then talk about, \u201cHow can we do that as a family?\u201d You\u2019re not going to do it perfectly! So when you fail, what do you do?\u2014you ask the other person to forgive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis: That\u2019s really when I think families are operating most and looking like what they\u2019re supposed to look like, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: And you know, I think a family could benefit just from spending time in those four questions; but I\u2019m thinking about a husband and wife reading through this book together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis: That\u2019s too convicting! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: You don\u2019t want to go that far; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEmerson: No, no; of course not! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis: That would really change the way husbands and wives relate to one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob: And when that changes, that\u2019s going to affect the whole dynamic of the family. When mom\u2019s and dad\u2019s communication shifts, and kids are seeing that mom and dad speak the truth in love\u2014that they\u2019re kind and tender-hearted; that they put away anger, wrath, malice and slander\u2014that changes everything!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>May I grab the soapbox back, just for a second?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think what we\u2019re talking about here is really important for the next generation and how they\u2019re going to practice the faith we\u2019re trying to pass on to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When they do not see us, as adults, modeling what the Bible teaches\u2014they hear us talk about it! They go with us, as their parents, to church, and hear these passages taught\u2014but they don\u2019t see mommy and daddy practicing it; living by it; and when they fail, they admit it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s when children will start to grab hold of what we\u2019ve got and: \u201cThat\u2019s authentic! That\u2019s no bologna faith there!\u201d That\u2019s what we have to be passing on to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so before you post something on Facebook or hit send on an email, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link for the online assessment. I think, again, this would be great for a husband and wife to do together. It\u2019s also great for all of the kids in the family to go through this assessment and see where your strengths and weaknesses are in your interpersonal relationships \/ your communication with one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, get a copy of the book, <em>Before You Hit Send<\/em>, from Emerson Eggerichs, and read it together, as a couple or as a family. I\u2019ve already mentioned this week that this is a book that Christian high schools are starting to use \/ youth groups are going through this book together\u2014this is practical stuff. Again, you can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mentioned how practical this issue is\u2014the issue we\u2019re talking about today. One of the things we\u2019re committed to, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is to providing you with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage, for your family, for your extended family relationships. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014that\u2019s the mission of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time you join with us and support this ministry, you are making possible this kind of practical help and hope for friends and neighbors; people in your community; actually, people around the world! There are hundreds of thousands of people, today, who have been tuned in to what we\u2019re talking about. As a supporter of <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you have helped to make that possible. So, on behalf of those listeners, who have benefitted from today\u2019s program, \u201cThank you for your financial support.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today so that your friends and neighbors and people all around the world can benefit from this program in the weeks and months to come, you can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. We would like to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d this month by sending you the 2019 FamilyLife calendar that\u2019s all about building togetherness in your family. That\u2019s our thank-you gift to you when you make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you can mail your donation to us if you\u2019d prefer. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the power of humor\u2014why funny is powerful. Michael, Jr. is going to join us\u2014he\u2019s a stand-up comedian. If you saw the movie, <em>War Room<\/em>, he was in that movie. He\u2019s got a new movie that\u2019s coming out next week. We\u2019re going to talk about that with him tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300407","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300407"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300407"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300407"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300407"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}