{"id":300365,"date":"2018-09-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-09-10T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/fighting-for-a-gospel-saturated-life\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:33","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:33","slug":"fighting-for-a-gospel-saturated-life","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fighting-for-a-gospel-saturated-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Fighting for a Gospel-Saturated Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: D.A. and Elicia Horton | Series: Enter the Ring | Authors D.A. and Elicia Horton have had wrestling matches occur in their relationship-first as a dating couple, and then later as newlyweds. Although they had grown up together, their family backgrounds and different communication styles often clashed, leading to loud vocal matches and heated debates. One shouting match under a street lamp lead them to question their engagement, but they sought counseling and went ahead with the wedding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Authors D.A. and Elicia Horton have had wrestling matches occur in their relationship-first as a dating couple, and then later as newlyweds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-10.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:31:15","filesize":"28.61M","filesize_raw":"30004238","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2902,2862],"tags":[4524,4523,4034],"podcast_series":[7246],"cwp_profile":[8806],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300365","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resolving-conflict","category-understanding-differences","tag-counseling","tag-family-backgrounds","tag-newlyweds","podcast_series-enter-the-ring","cwp_profile-d-a-and-elicia-horton","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300365\/fighting-for-a-gospel-saturated-life","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300365\/fighting-for-a-gospel-saturated-life","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"mzPQOpmHEJ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fighting-for-a-gospel-saturated-life\/\">Fighting for a Gospel-Saturated Life<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fighting-for-a-gospel-saturated-life\/embed\/#?secret=mzPQOpmHEJ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Fighting for a Gospel-Saturated Life&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"mzPQOpmHEJ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> D.A and Elicia Horton were in love\u2014they were engaged, planning to be married\u2014but the regular conflict that kept occurring in the relationship was giving Elicia second thoughts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Elicia:<\/strong> In the middle of wondering: \u201cWhy [do] we keep fighting?\u201d and \u201cWhy this keeps going nowhere?\u201d\u2014in my mind, I was just like: \u201cI\u2019m done. I can\u2019t emotionally handle any more.\u201d I remember going to his show and saying: \u201cOkay; this is it. I\u2019m just going to give him back the ring. This is\u2014I\u2019m done.\u201d I remember him getting off the stage, and he wanted a hug. I was just like, \u201cHere\u2019s your ring,\u201d\u2014it was just so awkward. Then, that led to the fight in the streets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Before D.A. and Elicia Horton could become husband and wife, they realized they\u2019d better learn how to resolve conflict. We\u2019ll hear more from them today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re going to get to go on an interesting journey today with a couple that we\u2019ve got in the studio\u2014a couple that\u2014they\u2019ve been on an interesting journey in their marriage; don\u2019t you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think they have. We don\u2019t often invite Kansas City Royal fans to join us here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; [Laughter] but they\u2019ve come all the way from Long Beach, California, to join us. Elicia and D.A. Horton join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Guys, welcome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Thank you for letting us be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I forgive you for that opening statement. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re Cardinals\u2014we\u2019re Cardinals here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tD.A. and Elicia work at Reach Fellowship in North Long Beach. It\u2019s an outreach church\u2014Southern Baptist church plant; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s correct; yes. We are Los Angeles Southern Baptist Association, California State Baptist Convention\u2014the whole nine. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s cool; that\u2019s cool. They have three children\u2014been married since 2003. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You did get married in 2003. I read about in your book, and you didn\u2019t really finish in the paragraph. You just talked about the fights you had before you got married. I thought, \u201cMaybe, they moved the date <em>back<\/em> a few years after that fight.\u201d [Laughter] I want to get to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Before we do, though, let me just jump in here and let our regular listeners know\u2014we are about to kick off our fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. We\u2019re going to be hosting these getaways in more than three dozen cities across the country this fall. I know some of our listeners have been to a getaway. Maybe, it has been a few years\u2014it may be time for a checkup \/ a tune-up for your marriage. I know a lot of our listeners have <em>never<\/em> been to one of these getaways, and we want to give you a little extra incentive today to make plans to join us in one of these cities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver the next couple of weeks, you can sign up for an upcoming getaway at half of the regular registration cost. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Information is available there about when we are going to be in what cities. You can sign up, online, or you can call to register at 1-800-FL-TODAY; but if you register this week or next week, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee for a fun, romantic getaway weekend for couples. Again, find out more, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Plan to come join us at one of our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you want to take this thing in a little different direction? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We found out, as we came in here, that you two do the spoken word rap. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No, no, no\u2014don\u2019t do that, Dennis. You\u2019re just showing how white you are; okay?\u00a0 [Laughter] It\u2019s not spoken word rap; is it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s spoken word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> These are two different genres. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; spoken word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, I want to hear\u2014I think our audience\u2014I\u2019m not the only white person who is\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014who is in the room nor listening right now. I think there are some who will have fun hearing you guys do what you do at your church. See, you are looking at each other. Do you know what you do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We do. Man, it has been a while, though\u2014I would have to say\u2014since we\u2019ve done\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dennis is putting you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ll give some grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014he\u2019s putting you on the spot here? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> I mean, there is one that I do that\u2019s called <em>Un-Decent Proposal<\/em>\u2014no; <em>Decent Proposal<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad you clarified that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was that on purpose?! I don\u2019t think it was. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s a word play on the movie\u2014remember the old movie with Demi Moore? So, it\u2019s <em>Decent Proposal<\/em>; and it\u2019s basically an articulation of, basically, God\u2019s proposal for salvation for us but, then, our stewardship after we\u2019re saved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; let\u2019s hear it; let\u2019s hear it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Give us a little\u2014can you just a throw a little? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014together? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> So, well, he does that one separately; so I\u2019ll let him do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A:<\/strong> [Speaks excerpt from <em>Decent Proposal<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s kind of like a modern-day Hosea story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; really. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A little applause here. [Clapping]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A great picture of the gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Absolutely; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly what Jesus has done for us; isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Speaking of the rings\u2014and you just had the spoken word about the rings\u2014you have written a book called <em>Enter the Ring<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In this case, it was the <em>boxing<\/em> ring. [Laughter] I actually was hoping to have a bell to kind of signal the beginning of Round 1, which occurred about\u2014what?\u2014three months before your wedding date? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; correct; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you had been amateur pugilists\u2014I mean, not in a technical sense\u2014but all through your relationship, it had been one, where you\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Stormy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2019d taken swipes at each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Oh, yes, all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You actually said in your book, \u201c\u2026a thousand fights\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s probably no\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s probably underestimating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014before you got married? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; yes. It was regular; it was a normalcy. The smallest, little infraction\u2014it could be a look; it could be an ill-timed word; it could be poor joke that didn\u2019t land. Man, we were short-fused with each other. It was\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys met when you were in your teens? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> We were kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Actually, when we were kids; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I was eight, and he was ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you had grown up together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We grew up together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, there was a moment in your early relationship where, kind of, notes got passed, and \u201cShe likes you.\u201d Wasn\u2019t there something about a friendship ring? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; so it\u2019s a friendship ring. How he took it to mean marriage is\u2014I\u2019m still wondering how he took it there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> My momma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I know your momma\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> My momma is very influential in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> She was; but at that time, it was like\u2014we\u2019re eight and ten\u2014like we\u2019re not going to get married. It was one of those friendship rings you can get out of the bubblegum machine\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u2014you know, for a quarter. I passed it down\u2014yes; like, I said\u2014\u201c\u2026to give it to Damon.\u201d This is, you know, something to signify that I like him; and we\u2019re going together. He got up and ran out of the church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What did you do with the ring? Didn\u2019t you throw\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> I threw it on the ground. I said, \u201cI can\u2019t do this no more\u201d; and I ran out of the church. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014as a ten-year-old? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u2014as a ten-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014as a ten-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t do this no more.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t do this no more.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was your mom trying to arrange this relationship? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> No, no; the opposite\u2014like, I couldn\u2019t have calls from girls until I was over 16 years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> My momma was very old school in her mentality. I don\u2019t knock her for it; I truly appreciate it. As a parent of a teenage daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014I totally appreciate everything my momma tried to tell me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> But she was like, \u201cYou can\u2019t have a girlfriend\u201d; and she knew Elicia\u2019s family. We met each other, doing ministry, in the projects when we were kids together. I figured, \u201cSince I can\u2019t have a girlfriend, I\u2019ll hide it from my mom.\u201d So, even in that church setting\u2014we grew up at Sheffield Assembly of God, which is a large Assembly of God church in the middle of Kansas City, in the heart of the city in the hood\u2014we\u2019re in the very back. There are ten people in between us, because I don\u2019t want to be seen sitting next to Elicia; because I\u2019m scared it\u2019s going to get back to my mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> So, we got to sit in the same row. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> We sat in the same row, which was a step \/ which was a gamble for me; because I knew it could get back to my mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you know that he was purposely allowing some space between? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> No; I had no idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just thought he didn\u2019t like you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; I was like, \u201cOkay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Truth be known, didn\u2019t you really propose to him when you were eight? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes, basically; that\u2019s how it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> His mom is going to be listening right now, and she needs to hear that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; she knows because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014I mean, as soon as I got the ring, these are the legit thoughts that went through my mind: \u201cI\u2019m about to go into fifth grade. I cannot support a wife. How is she going to go to school? Who are we going to live with? I can\u2019t even have a girlfriend,\u201d\u2014all of that flooded my mind. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you know what? I just want to step in and say, \u201cGood for your mom\u2014that you weren\u2019t thinking, \u2018Oh, I can have a girlfriend and just mess around if I want to.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were thinking, \u201cIf I have a girlfriend, I\u2019ve got to take some responsibility and some ownership,\u201d even at age ten. [Laughter] That\u2019s a pretty good message for a ten-year-old boy to have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would say he was trained\u2014he was well-trained. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; he wasn\u2019t just instilled with the fear of God in him\u2014just the fear of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the fear of Mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014the fear of my momma; yes\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> She knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014which was the hand of God in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, at what point did you become boyfriend and girlfriend? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> It was in our twenties. We had just got out of previous relationships; they were three years each. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went through the whole youth group\u2014we came out of the True Love Waits \/ Joshua Harris, <em>I Kissed Dating Goodbye<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but we were part of that culture that really was not on the trajectory of life, where Joshua Harris\u2014we were very urbanized, very hood, very promiscuous, if you will; so there was a counterculture. Then, there was, like, our perspective\u2014the two kind of integrated. We were\u2014we saw people in our youth group gravitate toward some of that; but we were like, \u201cYes, that ain\u2019t even really relatable in our lives.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we still \u201cdated\u201d\u2014inappropriate things, sexually. I lost my virginity before I came to faith. Elicia remained pure, to God\u2019s glory; but it was always that nuance of, \u201cWell, I know I technically don\u2019t want to fall into sexual sin; so I\u2019ll do everything but that.\u201d So, just the immaturity\/just the misogyny that\u2019s involved in all of those things that\u2014now, in hindsight\u2014I recognize nobody was in my life, calling those things out back then. As I look at that, even when we got together as boyfriend and girlfriend, there was so much baggage\/relational scars on our hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014spiritual immaturity. It was a concoction\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014of carnality that we brought into this relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, why did you ask her out then? What moved you after you both broke up with girlfriend\/boyfriend? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> It was the fact that I had \u201cfasted\u201d from relationships. I had said: \u201cLord, I\u2019m tired. I\u2019m done with just this going to and from relationships,\u201d\u2014just came out of this three-year relationship, not knowing who I am in Christ and things of that nature. Then, all of a sudden, it just seemed like we connected for the first time, as friends, in a long time; because we kind of held each other at bay. I had tried to pursue her in our teenage years after I gave my heart to the Lord and got shot down because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Rightfully so\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u2014dude broke my heart and threw my friendship ring on the ground. I mean, come on now. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You returned the favor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> That was a legit wound. I did not understand that really did wound Elicia. All this started coming out when we began to talk to each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I told her all the different ways that I <em>indirectly<\/em> tried to drop hints to let her know, throughout my teenage years, \u201cI really did like you.\u201d She shot down every single one of my attempts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019s shaking her head now. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; because I\u2019m like: \u201cThat makes sense. Why would you ask to wear my Adidas jacket?\u201d\u2014that never made any sense to me. Then he would tell me the stories of why he wanted to wear my jacket. Just all these little things he was doing\u2014I was just like: \u201cWow, you really tried. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> But it backfired; because it showed the immaturity in my mind, because I would try to hook her up with my different friends. I was like: \u201cOh, man, my boy likes you. He says, \u2018This and this,\u2019 about you.\u201d She would be like, \u201cNo; I don\u2019t like him like that.\u201d All I wanted to hear her say is, \u201cI don\u2019t like him like that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbecause I like you\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut what about you?\u201d\u2014she never said it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem with that\u2014is that she said: \u201cI thought you thought I was promiscuous. I thought you thought I was easy, trying to pit me out to all your friends. Why didn\u2019t you just tell me that you liked me?\u201d I didn\u2019t have the courage. I didn\u2019t have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014the gall to say: \u201cHey, I like you. Will\u2014can we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You needed to man up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> I know; seriously. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You needed to man up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> So, fast forward, that\u2019s what we brought into the inception of our relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, now, two months before you\u2019re supposed to get married, it all blows up one night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what happened that night? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> In the middle of wondering: \u201cWhy [do] we keep fighting?\u201d and \u201cWhy this keeps going nowhere?\u201d\u2014in my mind, I was just like: \u201cI\u2019m done. I can\u2019t emotionally handle anymore.\u201d I remember going to his show and saying: \u201cOkay; this is it. I\u2019m just going to give him back the ring. This is\u2014I\u2019m done.\u201d I remember him getting off the stage, and he wanted to hug. I was just like, \u201cHere\u2019s your ring,\u201d\u2014it was just so awkward. Then, that led to the fight in the streets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, your engagement is filled with ongoing conflict. That\u2019s the regular way you relate to one another\u2014is by fighting with one another. Are you thinking, \u201cThis is all going to switch once we get married\u201d; or did you have doubts about whether this was going to work? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> You know what? To be honest, I did not have doubts; but I was getting tired. I got an awakening one day when I saw how Elicia\u2019s home life was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was witnessing conflicts between parents, and other siblings, and family members, I began to say: \u201cAha! This is what she\u2019s coming from. This is normal to her.\u201d So, as much as she didn\u2019t like it, that was normal for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s what you knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s all I knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A long line of prize fighters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; actually, yes. I come from a family of avoiders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Peacemakers? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Well, I wouldn\u2019t even say that. I would say peace-fakers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Peace-fakers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014like what Ken Sande calls, \u201cPeace-faking.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; it would be more along those lines. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you get off\u2014you\u2019re doing a rap performance. You\u2019re done at 10:15; you walk out and want a hug. She gives you a ring. That started a <em>long<\/em> night for you guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; we were cussing each other out. We were fighting\u2014ironically, as it is, fighting\u2014not physically but verbally\u2014and yelling at each other on the steps of the church that I was a youth pastor at, at that time. It was so bad that the drug dealers had to move a block-and-a-half away because we were scaring off their clients\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because the youth pastor is cussing out his fianc\u00e9e in front of the church and the drug dealers are worried? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What time of night was this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> At that point, it was probably like two to four in the morning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Two to four in the morning; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> We had been fighting that long in the middle of the street. Nobody called the cops, by God\u2019s grace, but the house party\u2014they shut it down to watch us. We were the entertainment for people getting drunk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We provided their entertainment for the night; so yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, if I had been doing your premarital counseling at this point, I\u2019d have probably said: \u201cYou guys need to take a time-out and figure out what you\u2019re going to do with conflict; because you don\u2019t know what to do with conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnd if you\u2019re going to start your marriage with these patterns in place, you\u2019re in for a lot of pain and a lot of hurt.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWas that night a wake-up call for you, or did it just surface the problem? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Both\/and. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; I would say, \u201c\u2026both\/and.\u201d It really surfaced the problem that we needed to have counseling, even then\u2014like what he\u2019s talking about\u2014is having the premarital counseling to call those things out to show us: \u201cWait, you guys need to be handling this biblically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou guys need to take time out and just really analyze, \u2018Where are you at, individually, with your walk with the Lord?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We had never had that experience. We just kind of did peace-faking. We just said: \u201cOh, well, we\u2019ll get over it. We\u2019ll learn. We\u2019ll\u2014this will get better with time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think the thing you underscore here is that faith and a walk with Christ is really important\u2014not only when you start the relationship\u2014but ongoing, after the marriage is established and you\u2019re going to have to handle tough issues and disagreements. If there is no faith\u2014that calls you to humility \/ that calls you to ask for forgiveness \/ that calls the other to forgive and then reconciliation\u2014if you don\u2019t understand the components of what Jesus Christ came to do in <em>our<\/em> relationship as we fight with God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014if we don\u2019t understand what He\u2019s done for us, then we can\u2019t pass that forgiveness on in the marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Absolutely; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why the subline is <em>Fighting for a Gospel-Saturated Life<\/em>\u2014is that we had to learn, over the course of time, that the gospel has to saturate every single nuance of our lives. It doesn\u2019t just speak to our theology; it doesn\u2019t just speak to when I raise my hand or came forward at an altar call. It speaks to my sexuality\u2014my sexual past, my present and future\u2014it speaks to financial stewardship; the way that we raise our children; the way that we communicate with each other\u2014our poor communication skills \/ confessing our sins. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the whole of life. If the gospel is robust, and it\u2019s not truncated, then it\u2019s going to speak to every nuance of my life, as a husband and as a dad\u2014to my wife\u2019s life, as a mom and as a wife\u2014but then together, as a couple, in marriage and parents raising children. We should be encompassed and engulfed with this life-giving message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; so, here\u2019s the question\u2014you\u2019ve been married since 2003; you have three kids; you, now, are a pastor: \u201cHave you ever had any arguments, where, symbolically, you\u2019re going back to the steps, where you\u2019re the pastor, and you two are yelling and screaming at each other?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, you\u2019re in the game now for 15 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How is it now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Not the yelling and cussing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> More less now, I\u2019m more self-aware of my woundedness and brokenness. I retreat, and I\u2019ll isolate. Elicia will mobilize\u2014she confronts it\u2014she says, \u201cThere is distance between us.\u201d If it\u2019s\u2014I mean, just to be candid\u2014if it\u2019s two or three weeks without sexual intimacy, she\u2019s like: \u201cYou\u2019ve withdrawn from me, emotionally and mentally. You\u2019re not sharing yourself with me as much, Damon. What\u2019s going on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u201cWell, you said this, and it wounded me,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t feel like you pursue me. I don\u2019t feel like you reciprocate my advances.\u201d We dialogue through that\u2014we don\u2019t cuss; we don\u2019t fight; we don\u2019t use the D-word, which is divorce\u2014we don\u2019t use those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> But they are still\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> They\u2019re still real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014present tense\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014fleshly struggles that we still have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what\u2019s the difference between how you do conflict today, and how you did conflict 15 years ago? When you get to the core of it, why is it different today? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; absolutely. I feel like, when we entered Bible college together, it was a\u2014not only just it was a Bible college\u2014but it was a time for us to get prepared for what the Lord was doing\u2014that we didn\u2019t know that He was preparing us for. So, when we\u2014one of our first classes that we dealt with was Interpersonal Communication. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I think Conflict and Resolution came shortly after. It was in those classes\u2014I remember my husband and [me] walking out and getting in our car, and just having a lengthy dialogue, and just weeping and saying: \u201cWow, why were we never challenged to handle conflict this way? Why were we never taught to look at the Bible in this way?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really just sparked a difference in our hearts. It\u2019s really just allowing God to work in every\u2014like Damon is saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in every nuanced part of our life and say: \u201cOkay; how does this speak to how we communicate? How does this speak to the hurt that we\u2019ve inflicted upon each other and that we haven\u2019t dealt with?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we got to the class of Biblical Resolution and Conflict, we were like, \u201cWow!\u201d This really brought it to life for us\u2014giving us Scriptures, giving us guidance, really seeing how we can allow each other to heal\u2014giving us that space to heal\u2014but also seeking to be the ones that reconcile with one another all over the past hurt that we have inflicted upon each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat started that movement for us, in our marriage, along with just studying God\u2019s Word in a different way than we had ever studied it before\u2014and knowing God\u2019s Word, that does speak to every part of our life \/ knowing the gospel does speak to every part of our life. Seeing the difference of our growth in Christ was so\u2014it was like new people now. We are married\u2014but I see a difference in my husband; he sees a difference in me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We want to work these things together, and it was growing in our faith and understanding of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cMarriage is\u201d\u2014according to Erma Bombeck\u2014she says, \u201cMarriage is God\u2019s last chance He gives us to grow up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What you guys are illustrating in your lives is found in Ephesians, Chapter 4, beginning in verse 29 through the end of the chapter. I want to read this, because the Hortons\u2019 marriage illustrates how you\u2019re supposed to handle anger and bitterness and words that shouldn\u2019t be spoken. \u201cLet no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And don\u2019t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have a sense that we\u2019re probably talking to a lot of broken people, right now, who don\u2019t know how to resolve their difficulties. This book, <em>Enter the Ring<\/em>, would be a great place to start\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because they talk about the model here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother good place to start is to come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway; because we actually take you through a number of sessions, where we break down: \u201cHow do you communicate? How do you communicate to her? How do you forgive? How can you be reconciled to each other?\u201d And we do need training in these areas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; we do. This is where, again, I think for couples to plan a getaway weekend\u2014come join us for one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways\u2014that\u2019s a shrewd move. That\u2019s a strategic, intentional move to say, \u201cI want my marriage to be all that it can be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve got a good marriage, get a weekend away, invest in your marriage, have some fun together, and build a strong foundation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re marriage has had a few hiccups along the way, come join us for a healthy tune-up for you, as a couple. And if you\u2019re struggling in your relationship, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> can give you the practical tools you need to help strengthen your marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. If you sign up today, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; so it\u2019s a half-off offer that we\u2019re making over the next couple of weeks. We want all of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014those of you who have never been\u2014we want you to come join us this weekend. And if it\u2019s been a while since you\u2019ve been, come back out for a refresher. Again, find out more online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll also find information there about D.A. and Elicia Horton\u2019s book, <em>Enter the Ring: Fighting Together for a Gospel-Saturated Marriage<\/em>. You can order their book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to place your order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book is all about resolving conflict and getting to oneness in your marriage, which is the theme of the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Again, order the book, <em>Enter the Ring<\/em>, when you go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to be back with our guests, D.A. and Elicia Horton. We\u2019re going to find out how the two of you ever got married. [Laughter] I hope our listeners can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with some help from Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:31:15"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["28.61M"],"filesize_raw":["30004238"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300365.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300365.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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D.A. and Elicia Horton have had wrestling matches occur in their relationship-first as a dating couple, and then later as newlyweds.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> D.A and Elicia Horton were in love\u2014they were engaged, planning to be married\u2014but the regular conflict that kept occurring in the relationship was giving Elicia second thoughts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Elicia:<\/strong> In the middle of wondering: \u201cWhy [do] we keep fighting?\u201d and \u201cWhy this keeps going nowhere?\u201d\u2014in my mind, I was just like: \u201cI\u2019m done. I can\u2019t emotionally handle any more.\u201d I remember going to his show and saying: \u201cOkay; this is it. I\u2019m just going to give him back the ring. This is\u2014I\u2019m done.\u201d I remember him getting off the stage, and he wanted a hug. I was just like, \u201cHere\u2019s your ring,\u201d\u2014it was just so awkward. Then, that led to the fight in the streets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Before D.A. and Elicia Horton could become husband and wife, they realized they\u2019d better learn how to resolve conflict. We\u2019ll hear more from them today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re going to get to go on an interesting journey today with a couple that we\u2019ve got in the studio\u2014a couple that\u2014they\u2019ve been on an interesting journey in their marriage; don\u2019t you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think they have. We don\u2019t often invite Kansas City Royal fans to join us here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; [Laughter] but they\u2019ve come all the way from Long Beach, California, to join us. Elicia and D.A. Horton join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Guys, welcome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Thank you for letting us be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I forgive you for that opening statement. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re Cardinals\u2014we\u2019re Cardinals here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tD.A. and Elicia work at Reach Fellowship in North Long Beach. It\u2019s an outreach church\u2014Southern Baptist church plant; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s correct; yes. We are Los Angeles Southern Baptist Association, California State Baptist Convention\u2014the whole nine. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s cool; that\u2019s cool. They have three children\u2014been married since 2003. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You did get married in 2003. I read about in your book, and you didn\u2019t really finish in the paragraph. You just talked about the fights you had before you got married. I thought, \u201cMaybe, they moved the date <em>back<\/em> a few years after that fight.\u201d [Laughter] I want to get to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Before we do, though, let me just jump in here and let our regular listeners know\u2014we are about to kick off our fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. We\u2019re going to be hosting these getaways in more than three dozen cities across the country this fall. I know some of our listeners have been to a getaway. Maybe, it has been a few years\u2014it may be time for a checkup \/ a tune-up for your marriage. I know a lot of our listeners have <em>never<\/em> been to one of these getaways, and we want to give you a little extra incentive today to make plans to join us in one of these cities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver the next couple of weeks, you can sign up for an upcoming getaway at half of the regular registration cost. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Information is available there about when we are going to be in what cities. You can sign up, online, or you can call to register at 1-800-FL-TODAY; but if you register this week or next week, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee for a fun, romantic getaway weekend for couples. Again, find out more, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Plan to come join us at one of our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you want to take this thing in a little different direction? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We found out, as we came in here, that you two do the spoken word rap. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No, no, no\u2014don\u2019t do that, Dennis. You\u2019re just showing how white you are; okay?\u00a0 [Laughter] It\u2019s not spoken word rap; is it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s spoken word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> These are two different genres. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; spoken word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, I want to hear\u2014I think our audience\u2014I\u2019m not the only white person who is\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014who is in the room nor listening right now. I think there are some who will have fun hearing you guys do what you do at your church. See, you are looking at each other. Do you know what you do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We do. Man, it has been a while, though\u2014I would have to say\u2014since we\u2019ve done\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dennis is putting you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ll give some grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014he\u2019s putting you on the spot here? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> I mean, there is one that I do that\u2019s called <em>Un-Decent Proposal<\/em>\u2014no; <em>Decent Proposal<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad you clarified that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was that on purpose?! I don\u2019t think it was. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s a word play on the movie\u2014remember the old movie with Demi Moore? So, it\u2019s <em>Decent Proposal<\/em>; and it\u2019s basically an articulation of, basically, God\u2019s proposal for salvation for us but, then, our stewardship after we\u2019re saved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; let\u2019s hear it; let\u2019s hear it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Give us a little\u2014can you just a throw a little? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014together? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> So, well, he does that one separately; so I\u2019ll let him do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A:<\/strong> [Speaks excerpt from <em>Decent Proposal<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s kind of like a modern-day Hosea story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; really. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A little applause here. [Clapping]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A great picture of the gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Absolutely; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly what Jesus has done for us; isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Speaking of the rings\u2014and you just had the spoken word about the rings\u2014you have written a book called <em>Enter the Ring<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In this case, it was the <em>boxing<\/em> ring. [Laughter] I actually was hoping to have a bell to kind of signal the beginning of Round 1, which occurred about\u2014what?\u2014three months before your wedding date? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; correct; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you had been amateur pugilists\u2014I mean, not in a technical sense\u2014but all through your relationship, it had been one, where you\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Stormy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2019d taken swipes at each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Oh, yes, all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You actually said in your book, \u201c\u2026a thousand fights\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s probably no\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s probably underestimating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014before you got married? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; yes. It was regular; it was a normalcy. The smallest, little infraction\u2014it could be a look; it could be an ill-timed word; it could be poor joke that didn\u2019t land. Man, we were short-fused with each other. It was\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys met when you were in your teens? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> We were kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Actually, when we were kids; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I was eight, and he was ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you had grown up together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We grew up together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, there was a moment in your early relationship where, kind of, notes got passed, and \u201cShe likes you.\u201d Wasn\u2019t there something about a friendship ring? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; so it\u2019s a friendship ring. How he took it to mean marriage is\u2014I\u2019m still wondering how he took it there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> My momma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I know your momma\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> My momma is very influential in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> She was; but at that time, it was like\u2014we\u2019re eight and ten\u2014like we\u2019re not going to get married. It was one of those friendship rings you can get out of the bubblegum machine\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u2014you know, for a quarter. I passed it down\u2014yes; like, I said\u2014\u201c\u2026to give it to Damon.\u201d This is, you know, something to signify that I like him; and we\u2019re going together. He got up and ran out of the church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What did you do with the ring? Didn\u2019t you throw\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> I threw it on the ground. I said, \u201cI can\u2019t do this no more\u201d; and I ran out of the church. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014as a ten-year-old? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u2014as a ten-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014as a ten-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t do this no more.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u201cI can\u2019t do this no more.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Was your mom trying to arrange this relationship? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> No, no; the opposite\u2014like, I couldn\u2019t have calls from girls until I was over 16 years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> My momma was very old school in her mentality. I don\u2019t knock her for it; I truly appreciate it. As a parent of a teenage daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014I totally appreciate everything my momma tried to tell me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> But she was like, \u201cYou can\u2019t have a girlfriend\u201d; and she knew Elicia\u2019s family. We met each other, doing ministry, in the projects when we were kids together. I figured, \u201cSince I can\u2019t have a girlfriend, I\u2019ll hide it from my mom.\u201d So, even in that church setting\u2014we grew up at Sheffield Assembly of God, which is a large Assembly of God church in the middle of Kansas City, in the heart of the city in the hood\u2014we\u2019re in the very back. There are ten people in between us, because I don\u2019t want to be seen sitting next to Elicia; because I\u2019m scared it\u2019s going to get back to my mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> So, we got to sit in the same row. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> We sat in the same row, which was a step \/ which was a gamble for me; because I knew it could get back to my mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Did you know that he was purposely allowing some space between? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> No; I had no idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just thought he didn\u2019t like you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; I was like, \u201cOkay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Truth be known, didn\u2019t you really propose to him when you were eight? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes, basically; that\u2019s how it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> His mom is going to be listening right now, and she needs to hear that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; she knows because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014I mean, as soon as I got the ring, these are the legit thoughts that went through my mind: \u201cI\u2019m about to go into fifth grade. I cannot support a wife. How is she going to go to school? Who are we going to live with? I can\u2019t even have a girlfriend,\u201d\u2014all of that flooded my mind. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you know what? I just want to step in and say, \u201cGood for your mom\u2014that you weren\u2019t thinking, \u2018Oh, I can have a girlfriend and just mess around if I want to.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were thinking, \u201cIf I have a girlfriend, I\u2019ve got to take some responsibility and some ownership,\u201d even at age ten. [Laughter] That\u2019s a pretty good message for a ten-year-old boy to have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would say he was trained\u2014he was well-trained. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; he wasn\u2019t just instilled with the fear of God in him\u2014just the fear of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the fear of Mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014the fear of my momma; yes\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> She knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014which was the hand of God in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, at what point did you become boyfriend and girlfriend? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> It was in our twenties. We had just got out of previous relationships; they were three years each. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went through the whole youth group\u2014we came out of the True Love Waits \/ Joshua Harris, <em>I Kissed Dating Goodbye<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but we were part of that culture that really was not on the trajectory of life, where Joshua Harris\u2014we were very urbanized, very hood, very promiscuous, if you will; so there was a counterculture. Then, there was, like, our perspective\u2014the two kind of integrated. We were\u2014we saw people in our youth group gravitate toward some of that; but we were like, \u201cYes, that ain\u2019t even really relatable in our lives.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we still \u201cdated\u201d\u2014inappropriate things, sexually. I lost my virginity before I came to faith. Elicia remained pure, to God\u2019s glory; but it was always that nuance of, \u201cWell, I know I technically don\u2019t want to fall into sexual sin; so I\u2019ll do everything but that.\u201d So, just the immaturity\/just the misogyny that\u2019s involved in all of those things that\u2014now, in hindsight\u2014I recognize nobody was in my life, calling those things out back then. As I look at that, even when we got together as boyfriend and girlfriend, there was so much baggage\/relational scars on our hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014spiritual immaturity. It was a concoction\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014of carnality that we brought into this relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, why did you ask her out then? What moved you after you both broke up with girlfriend\/boyfriend? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> It was the fact that I had \u201cfasted\u201d from relationships. I had said: \u201cLord, I\u2019m tired. I\u2019m done with just this going to and from relationships,\u201d\u2014just came out of this three-year relationship, not knowing who I am in Christ and things of that nature. Then, all of a sudden, it just seemed like we connected for the first time, as friends, in a long time; because we kind of held each other at bay. I had tried to pursue her in our teenage years after I gave my heart to the Lord and got shot down because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Rightfully so\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> \u2014dude broke my heart and threw my friendship ring on the ground. I mean, come on now. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You returned the favor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> That was a legit wound. I did not understand that really did wound Elicia. All this started coming out when we began to talk to each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I told her all the different ways that I <em>indirectly<\/em> tried to drop hints to let her know, throughout my teenage years, \u201cI really did like you.\u201d She shot down every single one of my attempts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019s shaking her head now. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; because I\u2019m like: \u201cThat makes sense. Why would you ask to wear my Adidas jacket?\u201d\u2014that never made any sense to me. Then he would tell me the stories of why he wanted to wear my jacket. Just all these little things he was doing\u2014I was just like: \u201cWow, you really tried. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> But it backfired; because it showed the immaturity in my mind, because I would try to hook her up with my different friends. I was like: \u201cOh, man, my boy likes you. He says, \u2018This and this,\u2019 about you.\u201d She would be like, \u201cNo; I don\u2019t like him like that.\u201d All I wanted to hear her say is, \u201cI don\u2019t like him like that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbecause I like you\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut what about you?\u201d\u2014she never said it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem with that\u2014is that she said: \u201cI thought you thought I was promiscuous. I thought you thought I was easy, trying to pit me out to all your friends. Why didn\u2019t you just tell me that you liked me?\u201d I didn\u2019t have the courage. I didn\u2019t have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014the gall to say: \u201cHey, I like you. Will\u2014can we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You needed to man up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> I know; seriously. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You needed to man up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> So, fast forward, that\u2019s what we brought into the inception of our relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, now, two months before you\u2019re supposed to get married, it all blows up one night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what happened that night? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> In the middle of wondering: \u201cWhy [do] we keep fighting?\u201d and \u201cWhy this keeps going nowhere?\u201d\u2014in my mind, I was just like: \u201cI\u2019m done. I can\u2019t emotionally handle anymore.\u201d I remember going to his show and saying: \u201cOkay; this is it. I\u2019m just going to give him back the ring. This is\u2014I\u2019m done.\u201d I remember him getting off the stage, and he wanted to hug. I was just like, \u201cHere\u2019s your ring,\u201d\u2014it was just so awkward. Then, that led to the fight in the streets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, your engagement is filled with ongoing conflict. That\u2019s the regular way you relate to one another\u2014is by fighting with one another. Are you thinking, \u201cThis is all going to switch once we get married\u201d; or did you have doubts about whether this was going to work? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> You know what? To be honest, I did not have doubts; but I was getting tired. I got an awakening one day when I saw how Elicia\u2019s home life was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was witnessing conflicts between parents, and other siblings, and family members, I began to say: \u201cAha! This is what she\u2019s coming from. This is normal to her.\u201d So, as much as she didn\u2019t like it, that was normal for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s what you knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s all I knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A long line of prize fighters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; actually, yes. I come from a family of avoiders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Peacemakers? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Well, I wouldn\u2019t even say that. I would say peace-fakers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Peace-fakers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014like what Ken Sande calls, \u201cPeace-faking.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; it would be more along those lines. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you get off\u2014you\u2019re doing a rap performance. You\u2019re done at 10:15; you walk out and want a hug. She gives you a ring. That started a <em>long<\/em> night for you guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes; we were cussing each other out. We were fighting\u2014ironically, as it is, fighting\u2014not physically but verbally\u2014and yelling at each other on the steps of the church that I was a youth pastor at, at that time. It was so bad that the drug dealers had to move a block-and-a-half away because we were scaring off their clients\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because the youth pastor is cussing out his fianc\u00e9e in front of the church and the drug dealers are worried? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What time of night was this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> At that point, it was probably like two to four in the morning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Two to four in the morning; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> We had been fighting that long in the middle of the street. Nobody called the cops, by God\u2019s grace, but the house party\u2014they shut it down to watch us. We were the entertainment for people getting drunk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We provided their entertainment for the night; so yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, if I had been doing your premarital counseling at this point, I\u2019d have probably said: \u201cYou guys need to take a time-out and figure out what you\u2019re going to do with conflict; because you don\u2019t know what to do with conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnd if you\u2019re going to start your marriage with these patterns in place, you\u2019re in for a lot of pain and a lot of hurt.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWas that night a wake-up call for you, or did it just surface the problem? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Both\/and. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; I would say, \u201c\u2026both\/and.\u201d It really surfaced the problem that we needed to have counseling, even then\u2014like what he\u2019s talking about\u2014is having the premarital counseling to call those things out to show us: \u201cWait, you guys need to be handling this biblically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou guys need to take time out and just really analyze, \u2018Where are you at, individually, with your walk with the Lord?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We had never had that experience. We just kind of did peace-faking. We just said: \u201cOh, well, we\u2019ll get over it. We\u2019ll learn. We\u2019ll\u2014this will get better with time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think the thing you underscore here is that faith and a walk with Christ is really important\u2014not only when you start the relationship\u2014but ongoing, after the marriage is established and you\u2019re going to have to handle tough issues and disagreements. If there is no faith\u2014that calls you to humility \/ that calls you to ask for forgiveness \/ that calls the other to forgive and then reconciliation\u2014if you don\u2019t understand the components of what Jesus Christ came to do in <em>our<\/em> relationship as we fight with God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014if we don\u2019t understand what He\u2019s done for us, then we can\u2019t pass that forgiveness on in the marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Absolutely; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why the subline is <em>Fighting for a Gospel-Saturated Life<\/em>\u2014is that we had to learn, over the course of time, that the gospel has to saturate every single nuance of our lives. It doesn\u2019t just speak to our theology; it doesn\u2019t just speak to when I raise my hand or came forward at an altar call. It speaks to my sexuality\u2014my sexual past, my present and future\u2014it speaks to financial stewardship; the way that we raise our children; the way that we communicate with each other\u2014our poor communication skills \/ confessing our sins. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the whole of life. If the gospel is robust, and it\u2019s not truncated, then it\u2019s going to speak to every nuance of my life, as a husband and as a dad\u2014to my wife\u2019s life, as a mom and as a wife\u2014but then together, as a couple, in marriage and parents raising children. We should be encompassed and engulfed with this life-giving message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; so, here\u2019s the question\u2014you\u2019ve been married since 2003; you have three kids; you, now, are a pastor: \u201cHave you ever had any arguments, where, symbolically, you\u2019re going back to the steps, where you\u2019re the pastor, and you two are yelling and screaming at each other?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, you\u2019re in the game now for 15 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How is it now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Not the yelling and cussing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> More less now, I\u2019m more self-aware of my woundedness and brokenness. I retreat, and I\u2019ll isolate. Elicia will mobilize\u2014she confronts it\u2014she says, \u201cThere is distance between us.\u201d If it\u2019s\u2014I mean, just to be candid\u2014if it\u2019s two or three weeks without sexual intimacy, she\u2019s like: \u201cYou\u2019ve withdrawn from me, emotionally and mentally. You\u2019re not sharing yourself with me as much, Damon. What\u2019s going on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u201cWell, you said this, and it wounded me,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t feel like you pursue me. I don\u2019t feel like you reciprocate my advances.\u201d We dialogue through that\u2014we don\u2019t cuss; we don\u2019t fight; we don\u2019t use the D-word, which is divorce\u2014we don\u2019t use those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> But they are still\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> They\u2019re still real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014present tense\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>D.A.:<\/strong> \u2014fleshly struggles that we still have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what\u2019s the difference between how you do conflict today, and how you did conflict 15 years ago? When you get to the core of it, why is it different today? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Yes; absolutely. I feel like, when we entered Bible college together, it was a\u2014not only just it was a Bible college\u2014but it was a time for us to get prepared for what the Lord was doing\u2014that we didn\u2019t know that He was preparing us for. So, when we\u2014one of our first classes that we dealt with was Interpersonal Communication. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> I think Conflict and Resolution came shortly after. It was in those classes\u2014I remember my husband and [me] walking out and getting in our car, and just having a lengthy dialogue, and just weeping and saying: \u201cWow, why were we never challenged to handle conflict this way? Why were we never taught to look at the Bible in this way?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really just sparked a difference in our hearts. It\u2019s really just allowing God to work in every\u2014like Damon is saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in every nuanced part of our life and say: \u201cOkay; how does this speak to how we communicate? How does this speak to the hurt that we\u2019ve inflicted upon each other and that we haven\u2019t dealt with?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we got to the class of Biblical Resolution and Conflict, we were like, \u201cWow!\u201d This really brought it to life for us\u2014giving us Scriptures, giving us guidance, really seeing how we can allow each other to heal\u2014giving us that space to heal\u2014but also seeking to be the ones that reconcile with one another all over the past hurt that we have inflicted upon each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat started that movement for us, in our marriage, along with just studying God\u2019s Word in a different way than we had ever studied it before\u2014and knowing God\u2019s Word, that does speak to every part of our life \/ knowing the gospel does speak to every part of our life. Seeing the difference of our growth in Christ was so\u2014it was like new people now. We are married\u2014but I see a difference in my husband; he sees a difference in me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> We want to work these things together, and it was growing in our faith and understanding of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cMarriage is\u201d\u2014according to Erma Bombeck\u2014she says, \u201cMarriage is God\u2019s last chance He gives us to grow up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What you guys are illustrating in your lives is found in Ephesians, Chapter 4, beginning in verse 29 through the end of the chapter. I want to read this, because the Hortons\u2019 marriage illustrates how you\u2019re supposed to handle anger and bitterness and words that shouldn\u2019t be spoken. \u201cLet no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And don\u2019t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>D.A.:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Elicia:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have a sense that we\u2019re probably talking to a lot of broken people, right now, who don\u2019t know how to resolve their difficulties. This book, <em>Enter the Ring<\/em>, would be a great place to start\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because they talk about the model here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother good place to start is to come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway; because we actually take you through a number of sessions, where we break down: \u201cHow do you communicate? How do you communicate to her? How do you forgive? How can you be reconciled to each other?\u201d And we do need training in these areas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; we do. This is where, again, I think for couples to plan a getaway weekend\u2014come join us for one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways\u2014that\u2019s a shrewd move. That\u2019s a strategic, intentional move to say, \u201cI want my marriage to be all that it can be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve got a good marriage, get a weekend away, invest in your marriage, have some fun together, and build a strong foundation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re marriage has had a few hiccups along the way, come join us for a healthy tune-up for you, as a couple. And if you\u2019re struggling in your relationship, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> can give you the practical tools you need to help strengthen your marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. If you sign up today, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; so it\u2019s a half-off offer that we\u2019re making over the next couple of weeks. We want all of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014those of you who have never been\u2014we want you to come join us this weekend. And if it\u2019s been a while since you\u2019ve been, come back out for a refresher. Again, find out more online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll also find information there about D.A. and Elicia Horton\u2019s book, <em>Enter the Ring: Fighting Together for a Gospel-Saturated Marriage<\/em>. You can order their book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to place your order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book is all about resolving conflict and getting to oneness in your marriage, which is the theme of the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Again, order the book, <em>Enter the Ring<\/em>, when you go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to be back with our guests, D.A. and Elicia Horton. We\u2019re going to find out how the two of you ever got married. [Laughter] I hope our listeners can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with some help from Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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