{"id":300363,"date":"2018-09-07T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-09-07T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/needs-of-kids-part-2\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:33","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:33","slug":"needs-of-kids-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/needs-of-kids-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Needs of Kids Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey spent 28 years parenting their six now grown children. The Raineys gladly share their wisdom about what they learned over the years regarding what every child needs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-07.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:21","filesize":"26.88M","filesize_raw":"28186289","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2834,2806],"tags":[4350,4522,2209,2207,4388,4521],"podcast_series":[7245],"cwp_profile":[3051],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300363","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-praying-for-your-children","category-spiritual-development","tag-character","tag-child-centered","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-styles","tag-relationships","tag-what-every-child-needs","podcast_series-the-art-of-parenting-what-kids-need","cwp_profile-dennis-and-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300363\/needs-of-kids-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300363\/needs-of-kids-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"l3urHTgOTm\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/needs-of-kids-part-2\/\">Needs of Kids Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/needs-of-kids-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=l3urHTgOTm\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Needs of Kids Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"l3urHTgOTm\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>While you\u2019re making sure today that your children are fed\u2014that they\u2019ve got something to wear\u2014that they\u2019re doing their homework and that they\u2019re protected\u2014Barbara Rainey wants you to remember there is an even higher priority that we should never lose sight of, as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> The number one thing that kids need from a mom and dad is to know how to have an authentic faith for themselves. They need a relationship with Jesus Christ, so that they can live for Him and take the message of Christ to their generation. What they need from you is to see it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>for Friday, September 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Your children are going to live forever, just like you are. That\u2019s why their spiritual condition is the most important thing we need to be focusing on, as parents. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Thanks for joining us. So one of the great things about learning about parenting from parents who\u2019ve already done it is they\u2019ve made the mistakes you don\u2019t have to make; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I wish it were that easy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we were parents. We still are parents, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But we were parents in the thick of it for 28 straight years: six children\u2014now, all adults; now, all married; lots of grandkids\u2014[our kids] raising their own crew. I have to tell you, Bob\u2014my hat goes off to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think they\u2019re raising this generation in much more challenging days than we ever thought about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been taking time this week, and your wife Barbara is joining us. Barbara, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are talking about parenting, because you guys have just finished a book called <em>The Art of Parenting. <\/em>The book is, really, the centerpiece of what has become a parenting initiative, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt led to the video series\u2014the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122\u2014that churches are starting to use in small groups. People are using this in their living room with their neighbors, inviting them over for dinner and going through the video series. And this is what led to the movie that we produced, called <em>Like Arrows, <\/em>which is also going to be available very soon for people to purchase and to watch. I know a lot of our listeners did not get a chance to see it in theaters\u2014they\u2019ve been asking me, \u201cWhen does it come out on DVD?\u201d We\u2019ll have news for you about that soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour book, <em>The Art of Parenting, <\/em>is really the headwaters for all that we\u2019ve been talking about here. We\u2019re spending time helping parents understand what their kids need from them. You put these needs in the form of tweets, and we\u2019ve already covered half of your list of ten tweets. Do you want to go back through the first five that we covered?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it might be good; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Except it starts with ten; so the first five, but it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019re counting down until we get to number one. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number ten\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cA home that is not child-centric.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your kids need the home they grow up in not to revolve around them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly. Number nine\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cA home led by intentional and purposeful parents.\u201d That means parents who are really thinking through where they are taking their kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cWhat is the target that they\u2019re going to release their arrow toward?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014not just in the moment\u2014but you\u2019re thinking, long-term and strategically, with your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; you\u2019re thinking: \u201cWhy are we doing what we\u2019re doing? What\u2019s our goal?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cWhere are we headed?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright; what else?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number eight: \u201cA secure home.\u201d Security is different than an alarm system. It\u2019s the security of a mom and dad, who are committed to one another, and who are committed to following Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s emotional security. Barbara, that goes beyond a mom and a dad being together. It is part of how we communicate to our kids, \u201cIt\u2019s safe here for you to be who you are\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; and mom and dad model that by being committed to one another and having a love relationship with one another that spills over to their kids. Their kids <em>feel<\/em> that\u2014they feel that security and that freedom to be who they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number seven: \u201cParents who pray together every day.\u201d I believe this more than ever\u2014parenting is a spiritual battle. Marriages and families are taking place on a spiritual battlefield today that is unseen, but you are in a battle over your child\u2019s soul.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And let me just say\u2014in August, we launched a \u201c30-Day Parenting Prayer Challenge,\u201d where moms and dads can sign up and get a prayer prompt every day that will give them things to be praying for their children. It\u2019s not too late to sign up for that. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014give us your email address\u2014and every day, for the next 30 days, we\u2019ll send you a prayer prompt. You can be praying, together, for your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number six: \u201cYour child or children need parents who don\u2019t freak out when their children fail.\u201d When they\u2019re developing a faith of their own, parents can be a shock-absorber\/a safe place to share their doubts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019re to number five. So, Barbara, as we count down to number one, what\u2019s the number five tweet?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Tweet number five is: \u201cParents who embrace God-given differences, as male and female.\u201d The tweet goes on to say: \u201cMen and women are made in the image of God, and yet we\u2019re very different. Your children need to see you relating to one another, working together as a team, and modeling maleness and femaleness.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk more about this as we continue to talk about your book, but our kids need to understand their own identity\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014their own sense of the fact that God made them male or female and what that means. Part of the way they understand that is by seeing a mom and dad understand what it is to be a man or a woman and, then, model that for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; and that\u2019s the best place for them to find that out\u2014not out in the world, not from the school teacher, or kids on the playground. Their first and most important image of what it means to be a man \/ what it means to be a woman needs to come from mom and dad at home\u2014seeing mom and dad relate to one another, day in and day out, year after year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you don\u2019t have to do it perfectly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Of course not!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you just have to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And you won\u2019t. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; you sure won\u2019t, but you have to have enough of an idea of: \u201cWhat is manhood?\u201d and \u201cHow is it different than being a woman\/than womanhood?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod began the Book\u2014the best-selling book in history, the Bible\u2014with a very clear statement that there were two sexes: male and female\u2014two different sexes, who were uniquely imbued with the image of God. Those distinctives of being a man \/ being a woman were meant to complement one another, especially in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And this is something I know both of you spent a lot of time\u2014thinking about, looking at the Scriptures, praying about, reading broadly on this subject\u2014because you\u2019re not trying to encourage moms and dads to follow a stereotype when it comes to manhood and womanhood; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe aren\u2019t. Actually, that chapter, where we talk most about this, was the hardest one we wrote. It was the one we finished last, because it is such a complicated and complex subject. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we did, in that chapter\u2014what we hope will be communicated as you read the book\u2014is we went back to Genesis and looked at: \u201cWhat was there in the beginning?\u201d God doesn\u2019t tell us a lot, but there\u2019s enough there that we can begin to understand what His purpose was for men, what His purpose is for women, and how He made us different, and how we complement one another. There\u2019s purpose and order\u2014and all kinds of things\u2014that help us begin to understand what a woman is, and what she\u2019s supposed to do; and what a man is, and what he\u2019s supposed to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The fourth tweet in our ten count-down to number one is one that Barbara needs to comment on\u2014not me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cChildren need a mom, who is a nurturer, lover, and a vigilant protector of her children.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour kids\u2019 souls need to be nourished by a mom, who understands her indispensability. Moms <em>are<\/em> indispensable. Mommas love, and believe in, and defend, and rescue, and encourage, and fight for their children like no one else on earth; so be there for them!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the whole idea of being invested in your child. Moms\u2014because we give birth to these kids; because we pour our lives into these children; because we believe in them, and we love them, and we care for them\u2014we want the best for them. Sometimes, you have to <em>fight<\/em> for them, like a momma bear does her cubs. That\u2019s what your kids need from you. They need you to fight for them for what\u2019s best for them\u2014for what they need\u2014not just to give them the best privileges\u2014that\u2019s not what I mean by fighting for them, but I mean fighting to protect them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the stories I tell in the book is how I was vigilant about the messages and the images that came into my kids\u2019 eyes, and into their heads, and into their hearts. I monitored television like a hawk. We watched very little of it, and it was highly supervised; because I knew enough about my children to know that they didn\u2019t have the ability to process some of that stuff that was visually presented to them on television or in movies\u2014even in music \/ in certain kinds of music. I wanted them to not experience some of that until they were mature enough to process it and understand it, as an adult. That was one of the ways that I protected my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so let me ask you\u2014because some of our listeners are dads, raising their kids on their own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mom\u2019s not there, either because of death or divorce. There\u2019s not a mom in the home to be the vigilant defender, and protector, and guardian. What does that dad do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think he looks for some very influential mentors and women, who can nurture his children in a way that\u2019s appropriate in a relationship, going forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to find those folks, not out in the marketplace, but in the church. I wouldn\u2019t do it causally. I would do it after a lot of prayer, and I would interview a few folks and I would make sure the person or the woman that I selected\u2014or a couple of women, maybe\u2014really emerged as those who had something to say to the next generation of children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This could be a teacher at school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It could be somebody who is working with the youth group at church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just give them a heads-up and say: \u201cHey, my son\u2019s in the youth group. We don\u2019t have a mom in the home. You could have influence in this area,\u201d\u2014just kind of nudge them to help you out here a little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I think it could be a relative too. I think there are a lot of grandparents in this generation, who are stepping in and providing those missing links, because there are so many families that are split by divorce or the death of a spouse; so there are a lot of grandparents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know of people our age\u2014aunts and uncles of kids\u2014who are doing that too. I think there are lots of opportunities out there; you just need to ask God to guide you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we just have to say here\u2014because of the climate we live in, you want to do this with eyes wide open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because to have an opposite sex mentor for your son, or even a same-sex mentor for your daughter, who\u2019s not a part of the family\u2014you just want to make sure that you\u2019ve done the vetting you\u2019re talking about, Dennis, and that you don\u2019t leave that relationship unattended.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I totally agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTweet number three: \u201cKids need a dad who is a servant-leader, a protector, and provider.\u201d What we talk about here is how your children need to see what a real man does\u2014how he pursues a relationship with God, his wife, and his children. I think this is a tough assignment, Bob, because modeling humble leadership \/ being a servant-leader really demands death to self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going home, on more than one occasion\u2014I didn\u2019t want to die anymore. I didn\u2019t want to die to self!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wanted to go home and live for myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, to have the kind of home you\u2019re going to have to have today, you need to recognize your kids need to see a dad who can demonstrate what self-denial looks like\u2014love his wife\u2014but also, love his kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And Barbara, again, in this culture, there are a lot of kids going home\u2014to homes without a dad. The same advice applies here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s good to have coaches, or youth group leaders, or some uncles, or some grandparents, who can come along and model for your sons <em>and <\/em>your daughters what godly manhood looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly, because they need to see it. Honestly, they need to see it, most importantly, of course, with their dad; but they need glimpses of what it looks like with other men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGreat coaches have always been highly influential with young men, and so are teachers. There are stories\u2014tons of stories\u2014about teachers who have changed the life of students. Be involved with your kids with where they are. Try to get the right teacher for your child; try to get your kid involved in an activity that has a really good coach, that you know will model some things for your son\u2014or even for your daughter\u2014that will make a difference in their life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> School choice is always a debatable point between moms and dads\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s controversy there; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014but also between families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You and I, Bob, have done a lot of radio over the last 26 years, talking about the school choice issue. Barbara and I talked a lot about this. I remember, as a dad, just thinking, \u201cI am called to be my children\u2019s protector as we send them to the public school,\u201d\u2014which is what we chose to do after much prayer, much discussion, and a lot of doubt, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized that if I was going to protect them, by sending them there, I had to be engaged at a far deeper level than if I sent them to \u201ca safer\u201d place. It was interesting what that extracted: meetings with teachers around delicate subjects that they were wanting to teach our children that we didn\u2019t agree with\u2014needing to handle that in a diplomatic way in <em>front<\/em> of our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m a person of conviction and, you know, I don\u2019t mind sharing my convictions; but we\u2019ve always got to be loving. As a dad, we can be protectors and do that in a shepherding way that is peaceful and can protect our kids as they go into harm\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019re talking about what kids need from moms and dads as we\u2019re raising our children. This is from your new book, <em>The Art of Parenting.<\/em> We\u2019re down to tweet number two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Tweet number two is: \u201cParents who have surrendered to Christ, because of His sacrificial love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is really nothing more important for a mom and a dad, as we\u2019ve hinted to and mentioned previously, than for a mom and dad to be surrendered to Christ; because if you are, He is your Master and you are following what He has to say. You are studying the Bible to find out what He has to say about parenting, what He\u2019s called you to do in your marriage, and what He\u2019s called you to do with your kids too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat creates a stability, in and of itself; because you aren\u2019t doing this flippantly. You\u2019re not raising them casually, but you understand the weight and the importance that God has put on you to raise the next generation so that your kids might grow up and be Christ-followers so that they might take Him to their generation. That weight gives you the impetus to want to do well and to do it God\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The other way we could turn this around and say it is: \u201cKids <em>don\u2019t <\/em>need a mom and a dad, who are the blind leading the blind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got to know where God\u2019s leading you and, then, take your kids in that direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, Bob, we are watching a generation of young people, who are leaving the church when they graduate from high school. At least for the present time, they are not coming back. There are a lot of people asking the question, \u201cWhy is this happening?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe, when your children do not see a faith that matches up with what you practice at church with what you\u2019re doing at home, there\u2019s a divorce that occurs. It\u2019s a divorce that a child tries to reconcile in his mind: \u201cWhy is it that mom and dad say they believe <em>this<\/em> at church, but they live like this at home?\u201d That\u2019s not reconcilable to a child; but after 18 years, the reality is <em>glaring<\/em>\u2014the parents aren\u2019t really in love with Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you go back to the Scriptures\u2014Deuteronomy, Chapter 6\u2014there\u2019s so much wisdom in this! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to me! God commanded\u2014to the nation of Israel through Moses\u2014He says, \u201cYou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. And you shall teach your children\u2026\u201d the same thing\u2014pass it on! You can\u2019t pass on what you don\u2019t possess.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChildren today desperately need to see their moms and dads attempt to be Christ-followers. Why do I say \u201cattempt?\u201d Because you\u2019re not going to do it perfectly. You <em>are <\/em>going to fail, and you\u2019re going to have to turn, on more than one occasion, and ask your kids to forgive you for being a poor model. I did that; Barbara did that. We\u2019ll talk more, in this series from the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em>, about that. I think, more than ever, children today need to see their parents with an authentic faith\u2014a love for God and Christ that, again, is not perfect; but it doesn\u2019t quit! It\u2019s not a one day per week for one hour. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s an attempt to live for Christ\u2014and for His purposes and glory\u2014seven days a week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so we\u2019ve been going through our top-ten countdown. We\u2019re all the way to number one, so the top of the list for parents?\u2014the thing kids\u2014would you say: \u201cThis is what kids need most from a mom and dad\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s why we put it number one, actually. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And the number one thing that \u201cKids need from a mom and dad is to know how to have an authentic faith for themselves.\u201d They need a relationship with Jesus Christ\u2014that\u2019s your ultimate goal, as a mom and dad. And so, what they need from you is\u2014they need to know how to do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs Dennis was just talking about, you\u2019ll need to ask your kids to forgive you more than once. I thought: \u201cYes! Like about a hundred times more than once\u2014per kid!\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s how your children know that it\u2019s an authentic relationship; and that\u2019s how they know: \u201cOh, when I mess up\u2014when I make a mistake \/ when I do something wrong\u2014I can go to God and talk to Him, because my mom and dad have shown me how to do that. They\u2019ve done it with me. I\u2019ve watched them do it with each other.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s just such a <em>normal<\/em> part of our family life that they don\u2019t think anything about it\u2014they know: \u201cOh, I can go talk to God about this problem. I can take my concerns and my fears to God, because we\u2019ve been doing that my whole life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the goal\u2014the number one goal\u2014is to lead your children to Christ so that they can live for Him and take the message of Christ to their generation. What they need from you is to see it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we can\u2019t guarantee. There\u2019s not a formula here to make sure your kids are going to follow Christ, but we can be faithful to what God\u2019s called us to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! We didn\u2019t do it perfectly\u2014we\u2019ve already said that. But what we did attempt to model is a word we don\u2019t talk about much, certainly within the Christian community\u2014it\u2019s the word, \u201crepent.\u201d Repent means you turn and do a 180.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You turn <em>from <\/em>going the wrong way to turn <em>to <\/em>God, and admit you\u2019ve been going the wrong way, and go His way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what children need to see \/ that\u2019s what children need to hear. How do you do that?! You know they\u2019re going to fail. You know they\u2019re going to sin! They need to know: \u201cHow do I handle my sin, as a follower of Christ, going forward?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys\u2014I assume you\u2019re okay with us putting these top ten tweets on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014so that parents can download this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They can look at this and they can have dialogue\/conversation about: \u201cHow are we doing in these areas? What needs adjustment?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what I would say, here, at the close of the broadcast\u2014if you haven\u2019t taken a look at the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series\u2014it\u2019s for small groups\u2014it\u2019s for a pair of parents to get together with four or five other couples and to experience community and to go through content that\u2019s going to open you up to talk with other parents. You need to do this!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are going to be hundreds of thousands of homes\u2014and maybe millions of children impacted\u2014by the parents who go through this brand-new video series. If you\u2019re looking for a way to grow and apply what we\u2019re talking about here, this is how you do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; there is a version of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series that\u2019s available as an online course that moms and dads can go through together for free. You can find out more about that on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. We think it\u2019s probably best for you to get together with other parents and go through the video series together\u2014have the workbook; interact \/ talk about the issues you\u2019re facing, as parents; and help one another in the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> small group kit when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com as well; and then, of course, your new book, <em>The Art of Parenting, <\/em>is going to be here any day. If folks want to pre-order a copy of the book, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to pre-order; or they can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get on the list to receive the book as soon as it arrives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, if you are a regular <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener\u2014if you\u2019ve been on our website and looked at the articles that are available \/ the resources we have there, if you have been to any of our events, or if you\u2019ve used any of the materials that FamilyLife has produced and created\u2014you need to thank one of our Legacy Partners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Legacy Partners and those of you who donate, from time to time, to support this ministry\u2014you are the ones who make all that we do, here, at FamilyLife possible. There are hundreds of thousands of people who have engaged with us today around parenting all because of <em>you<\/em>. On behalf of all who have listened today, and throughout this week, and this month, and this year\u2014those who have been online \/ those who have been to our events\u2014we just want to say: \u201cThank you for your partnership with the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe couldn\u2019t do what we do without you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a regular listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>let me just say\u2014we want to make sure that, as you think about giving to our ministry, you don\u2019t do anything to take away from your financial support of your local church. Giving to your local church needs to be your number one priority when it comes to financial support. But, beyond that, if you\u2019re able to help with ministries like ours, we\u2019d love to have you be a part of the FamilyLife team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. And if you make a donation this month, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a book from our friend, Bryan Loritts, called <em>A Cross-Shaped Gospel<\/em>. It\u2019s a powerful new book that Bryan has written\u2014we\u2019d love to get a copy in your hands. You can request it when you donate at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation. Again, thanks for your support of the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back again on Monday when we\u2019re going to meet D.A. and Elisia Horton. This is a couple who, if you had met them during the first year of their marriage, or during their courtship for that matter, you\u2019d have thought, \u201cNo way can this couple survive as husband and wife!\u201d But they\u2019ve learned some things along the way, and they\u2019ll be here to share that with us. I hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:21"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.88M"],"filesize_raw":["28186289"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300363.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300363.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Barbara Rainey spent 28 years parenting their six now grown children. The Raineys gladly share their wisdom about what they learned over the years regarding what every child needs.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-09-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>While you\u2019re making sure today that your children are fed\u2014that they\u2019ve got something to wear\u2014that they\u2019re doing their homework and that they\u2019re protected\u2014Barbara Rainey wants you to remember there is an even higher priority that we should never lose sight of, as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> The number one thing that kids need from a mom and dad is to know how to have an authentic faith for themselves. They need a relationship with Jesus Christ, so that they can live for Him and take the message of Christ to their generation. What they need from you is to see it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>for Friday, September 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Your children are going to live forever, just like you are. That\u2019s why their spiritual condition is the most important thing we need to be focusing on, as parents. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Thanks for joining us. So one of the great things about learning about parenting from parents who\u2019ve already done it is they\u2019ve made the mistakes you don\u2019t have to make; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I wish it were that easy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we were parents. We still are parents, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But we were parents in the thick of it for 28 straight years: six children\u2014now, all adults; now, all married; lots of grandkids\u2014[our kids] raising their own crew. I have to tell you, Bob\u2014my hat goes off to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think they\u2019re raising this generation in much more challenging days than we ever thought about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been taking time this week, and your wife Barbara is joining us. Barbara, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are talking about parenting, because you guys have just finished a book called <em>The Art of Parenting. <\/em>The book is, really, the centerpiece of what has become a parenting initiative, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt led to the video series\u2014the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122\u2014that churches are starting to use in small groups. People are using this in their living room with their neighbors, inviting them over for dinner and going through the video series. And this is what led to the movie that we produced, called <em>Like Arrows, <\/em>which is also going to be available very soon for people to purchase and to watch. I know a lot of our listeners did not get a chance to see it in theaters\u2014they\u2019ve been asking me, \u201cWhen does it come out on DVD?\u201d We\u2019ll have news for you about that soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour book, <em>The Art of Parenting, <\/em>is really the headwaters for all that we\u2019ve been talking about here. We\u2019re spending time helping parents understand what their kids need from them. You put these needs in the form of tweets, and we\u2019ve already covered half of your list of ten tweets. Do you want to go back through the first five that we covered?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it might be good; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Except it starts with ten; so the first five, but it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019re counting down until we get to number one. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number ten\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cA home that is not child-centric.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your kids need the home they grow up in not to revolve around them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly. Number nine\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cA home led by intentional and purposeful parents.\u201d That means parents who are really thinking through where they are taking their kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cWhat is the target that they\u2019re going to release their arrow toward?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014not just in the moment\u2014but you\u2019re thinking, long-term and strategically, with your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; you\u2019re thinking: \u201cWhy are we doing what we\u2019re doing? What\u2019s our goal?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cWhere are we headed?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright; what else?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number eight: \u201cA secure home.\u201d Security is different than an alarm system. It\u2019s the security of a mom and dad, who are committed to one another, and who are committed to following Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s emotional security. Barbara, that goes beyond a mom and a dad being together. It is part of how we communicate to our kids, \u201cIt\u2019s safe here for you to be who you are\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; and mom and dad model that by being committed to one another and having a love relationship with one another that spills over to their kids. Their kids <em>feel<\/em> that\u2014they feel that security and that freedom to be who they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number seven: \u201cParents who pray together every day.\u201d I believe this more than ever\u2014parenting is a spiritual battle. Marriages and families are taking place on a spiritual battlefield today that is unseen, but you are in a battle over your child\u2019s soul.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And let me just say\u2014in August, we launched a \u201c30-Day Parenting Prayer Challenge,\u201d where moms and dads can sign up and get a prayer prompt every day that will give them things to be praying for their children. It\u2019s not too late to sign up for that. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014give us your email address\u2014and every day, for the next 30 days, we\u2019ll send you a prayer prompt. You can be praying, together, for your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number six: \u201cYour child or children need parents who don\u2019t freak out when their children fail.\u201d When they\u2019re developing a faith of their own, parents can be a shock-absorber\/a safe place to share their doubts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019re to number five. So, Barbara, as we count down to number one, what\u2019s the number five tweet?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Tweet number five is: \u201cParents who embrace God-given differences, as male and female.\u201d The tweet goes on to say: \u201cMen and women are made in the image of God, and yet we\u2019re very different. Your children need to see you relating to one another, working together as a team, and modeling maleness and femaleness.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk more about this as we continue to talk about your book, but our kids need to understand their own identity\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014their own sense of the fact that God made them male or female and what that means. Part of the way they understand that is by seeing a mom and dad understand what it is to be a man or a woman and, then, model that for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; and that\u2019s the best place for them to find that out\u2014not out in the world, not from the school teacher, or kids on the playground. Their first and most important image of what it means to be a man \/ what it means to be a woman needs to come from mom and dad at home\u2014seeing mom and dad relate to one another, day in and day out, year after year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you don\u2019t have to do it perfectly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Of course not!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you just have to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And you won\u2019t. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; you sure won\u2019t, but you have to have enough of an idea of: \u201cWhat is manhood?\u201d and \u201cHow is it different than being a woman\/than womanhood?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod began the Book\u2014the best-selling book in history, the Bible\u2014with a very clear statement that there were two sexes: male and female\u2014two different sexes, who were uniquely imbued with the image of God. Those distinctives of being a man \/ being a woman were meant to complement one another, especially in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And this is something I know both of you spent a lot of time\u2014thinking about, looking at the Scriptures, praying about, reading broadly on this subject\u2014because you\u2019re not trying to encourage moms and dads to follow a stereotype when it comes to manhood and womanhood; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe aren\u2019t. Actually, that chapter, where we talk most about this, was the hardest one we wrote. It was the one we finished last, because it is such a complicated and complex subject. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we did, in that chapter\u2014what we hope will be communicated as you read the book\u2014is we went back to Genesis and looked at: \u201cWhat was there in the beginning?\u201d God doesn\u2019t tell us a lot, but there\u2019s enough there that we can begin to understand what His purpose was for men, what His purpose is for women, and how He made us different, and how we complement one another. There\u2019s purpose and order\u2014and all kinds of things\u2014that help us begin to understand what a woman is, and what she\u2019s supposed to do; and what a man is, and what he\u2019s supposed to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The fourth tweet in our ten count-down to number one is one that Barbara needs to comment on\u2014not me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cChildren need a mom, who is a nurturer, lover, and a vigilant protector of her children.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour kids\u2019 souls need to be nourished by a mom, who understands her indispensability. Moms <em>are<\/em> indispensable. Mommas love, and believe in, and defend, and rescue, and encourage, and fight for their children like no one else on earth; so be there for them!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the whole idea of being invested in your child. Moms\u2014because we give birth to these kids; because we pour our lives into these children; because we believe in them, and we love them, and we care for them\u2014we want the best for them. Sometimes, you have to <em>fight<\/em> for them, like a momma bear does her cubs. That\u2019s what your kids need from you. They need you to fight for them for what\u2019s best for them\u2014for what they need\u2014not just to give them the best privileges\u2014that\u2019s not what I mean by fighting for them, but I mean fighting to protect them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the stories I tell in the book is how I was vigilant about the messages and the images that came into my kids\u2019 eyes, and into their heads, and into their hearts. I monitored television like a hawk. We watched very little of it, and it was highly supervised; because I knew enough about my children to know that they didn\u2019t have the ability to process some of that stuff that was visually presented to them on television or in movies\u2014even in music \/ in certain kinds of music. I wanted them to not experience some of that until they were mature enough to process it and understand it, as an adult. That was one of the ways that I protected my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so let me ask you\u2014because some of our listeners are dads, raising their kids on their own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mom\u2019s not there, either because of death or divorce. There\u2019s not a mom in the home to be the vigilant defender, and protector, and guardian. What does that dad do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think he looks for some very influential mentors and women, who can nurture his children in a way that\u2019s appropriate in a relationship, going forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to find those folks, not out in the marketplace, but in the church. I wouldn\u2019t do it causally. I would do it after a lot of prayer, and I would interview a few folks and I would make sure the person or the woman that I selected\u2014or a couple of women, maybe\u2014really emerged as those who had something to say to the next generation of children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This could be a teacher at school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It could be somebody who is working with the youth group at church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just give them a heads-up and say: \u201cHey, my son\u2019s in the youth group. We don\u2019t have a mom in the home. You could have influence in this area,\u201d\u2014just kind of nudge them to help you out here a little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Well, I think it could be a relative too. I think there are a lot of grandparents in this generation, who are stepping in and providing those missing links, because there are so many families that are split by divorce or the death of a spouse; so there are a lot of grandparents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know of people our age\u2014aunts and uncles of kids\u2014who are doing that too. I think there are lots of opportunities out there; you just need to ask God to guide you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we just have to say here\u2014because of the climate we live in, you want to do this with eyes wide open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because to have an opposite sex mentor for your son, or even a same-sex mentor for your daughter, who\u2019s not a part of the family\u2014you just want to make sure that you\u2019ve done the vetting you\u2019re talking about, Dennis, and that you don\u2019t leave that relationship unattended.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I totally agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTweet number three: \u201cKids need a dad who is a servant-leader, a protector, and provider.\u201d What we talk about here is how your children need to see what a real man does\u2014how he pursues a relationship with God, his wife, and his children. I think this is a tough assignment, Bob, because modeling humble leadership \/ being a servant-leader really demands death to self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going home, on more than one occasion\u2014I didn\u2019t want to die anymore. I didn\u2019t want to die to self!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wanted to go home and live for myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, to have the kind of home you\u2019re going to have to have today, you need to recognize your kids need to see a dad who can demonstrate what self-denial looks like\u2014love his wife\u2014but also, love his kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And Barbara, again, in this culture, there are a lot of kids going home\u2014to homes without a dad. The same advice applies here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s good to have coaches, or youth group leaders, or some uncles, or some grandparents, who can come along and model for your sons <em>and <\/em>your daughters what godly manhood looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Exactly, because they need to see it. Honestly, they need to see it, most importantly, of course, with their dad; but they need glimpses of what it looks like with other men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGreat coaches have always been highly influential with young men, and so are teachers. There are stories\u2014tons of stories\u2014about teachers who have changed the life of students. Be involved with your kids with where they are. Try to get the right teacher for your child; try to get your kid involved in an activity that has a really good coach, that you know will model some things for your son\u2014or even for your daughter\u2014that will make a difference in their life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> School choice is always a debatable point between moms and dads\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s controversy there; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014but also between families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You and I, Bob, have done a lot of radio over the last 26 years, talking about the school choice issue. Barbara and I talked a lot about this. I remember, as a dad, just thinking, \u201cI am called to be my children\u2019s protector as we send them to the public school,\u201d\u2014which is what we chose to do after much prayer, much discussion, and a lot of doubt, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized that if I was going to protect them, by sending them there, I had to be engaged at a far deeper level than if I sent them to \u201ca safer\u201d place. It was interesting what that extracted: meetings with teachers around delicate subjects that they were wanting to teach our children that we didn\u2019t agree with\u2014needing to handle that in a diplomatic way in <em>front<\/em> of our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m a person of conviction and, you know, I don\u2019t mind sharing my convictions; but we\u2019ve always got to be loving. As a dad, we can be protectors and do that in a shepherding way that is peaceful and can protect our kids as they go into harm\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019re talking about what kids need from moms and dads as we\u2019re raising our children. This is from your new book, <em>The Art of Parenting.<\/em> We\u2019re down to tweet number two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Tweet number two is: \u201cParents who have surrendered to Christ, because of His sacrificial love.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is really nothing more important for a mom and a dad, as we\u2019ve hinted to and mentioned previously, than for a mom and dad to be surrendered to Christ; because if you are, He is your Master and you are following what He has to say. You are studying the Bible to find out what He has to say about parenting, what He\u2019s called you to do in your marriage, and what He\u2019s called you to do with your kids too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat creates a stability, in and of itself; because you aren\u2019t doing this flippantly. You\u2019re not raising them casually, but you understand the weight and the importance that God has put on you to raise the next generation so that your kids might grow up and be Christ-followers so that they might take Him to their generation. That weight gives you the impetus to want to do well and to do it God\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The other way we could turn this around and say it is: \u201cKids <em>don\u2019t <\/em>need a mom and a dad, who are the blind leading the blind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got to know where God\u2019s leading you and, then, take your kids in that direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, Bob, we are watching a generation of young people, who are leaving the church when they graduate from high school. At least for the present time, they are not coming back. There are a lot of people asking the question, \u201cWhy is this happening?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe, when your children do not see a faith that matches up with what you practice at church with what you\u2019re doing at home, there\u2019s a divorce that occurs. It\u2019s a divorce that a child tries to reconcile in his mind: \u201cWhy is it that mom and dad say they believe <em>this<\/em> at church, but they live like this at home?\u201d That\u2019s not reconcilable to a child; but after 18 years, the reality is <em>glaring<\/em>\u2014the parents aren\u2019t really in love with Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you go back to the Scriptures\u2014Deuteronomy, Chapter 6\u2014there\u2019s so much wisdom in this! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to me! God commanded\u2014to the nation of Israel through Moses\u2014He says, \u201cYou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. And you shall teach your children\u2026\u201d the same thing\u2014pass it on! You can\u2019t pass on what you don\u2019t possess.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChildren today desperately need to see their moms and dads attempt to be Christ-followers. Why do I say \u201cattempt?\u201d Because you\u2019re not going to do it perfectly. You <em>are <\/em>going to fail, and you\u2019re going to have to turn, on more than one occasion, and ask your kids to forgive you for being a poor model. I did that; Barbara did that. We\u2019ll talk more, in this series from the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em>, about that. I think, more than ever, children today need to see their parents with an authentic faith\u2014a love for God and Christ that, again, is not perfect; but it doesn\u2019t quit! It\u2019s not a one day per week for one hour. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s an attempt to live for Christ\u2014and for His purposes and glory\u2014seven days a week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so we\u2019ve been going through our top-ten countdown. We\u2019re all the way to number one, so the top of the list for parents?\u2014the thing kids\u2014would you say: \u201cThis is what kids need most from a mom and dad\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s why we put it number one, actually. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And the number one thing that \u201cKids need from a mom and dad is to know how to have an authentic faith for themselves.\u201d They need a relationship with Jesus Christ\u2014that\u2019s your ultimate goal, as a mom and dad. And so, what they need from you is\u2014they need to know how to do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs Dennis was just talking about, you\u2019ll need to ask your kids to forgive you more than once. I thought: \u201cYes! Like about a hundred times more than once\u2014per kid!\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s how your children know that it\u2019s an authentic relationship; and that\u2019s how they know: \u201cOh, when I mess up\u2014when I make a mistake \/ when I do something wrong\u2014I can go to God and talk to Him, because my mom and dad have shown me how to do that. They\u2019ve done it with me. I\u2019ve watched them do it with each other.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s just such a <em>normal<\/em> part of our family life that they don\u2019t think anything about it\u2014they know: \u201cOh, I can go talk to God about this problem. I can take my concerns and my fears to God, because we\u2019ve been doing that my whole life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the goal\u2014the number one goal\u2014is to lead your children to Christ so that they can live for Him and take the message of Christ to their generation. What they need from you is to see it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we can\u2019t guarantee. There\u2019s not a formula here to make sure your kids are going to follow Christ, but we can be faithful to what God\u2019s called us to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! We didn\u2019t do it perfectly\u2014we\u2019ve already said that. But what we did attempt to model is a word we don\u2019t talk about much, certainly within the Christian community\u2014it\u2019s the word, \u201crepent.\u201d Repent means you turn and do a 180.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You turn <em>from <\/em>going the wrong way to turn <em>to <\/em>God, and admit you\u2019ve been going the wrong way, and go His way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what children need to see \/ that\u2019s what children need to hear. How do you do that?! You know they\u2019re going to fail. You know they\u2019re going to sin! They need to know: \u201cHow do I handle my sin, as a follower of Christ, going forward?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys\u2014I assume you\u2019re okay with us putting these top ten tweets on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014so that parents can download this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They can look at this and they can have dialogue\/conversation about: \u201cHow are we doing in these areas? What needs adjustment?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what I would say, here, at the close of the broadcast\u2014if you haven\u2019t taken a look at the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series\u2014it\u2019s for small groups\u2014it\u2019s for a pair of parents to get together with four or five other couples and to experience community and to go through content that\u2019s going to open you up to talk with other parents. You need to do this!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are going to be hundreds of thousands of homes\u2014and maybe millions of children impacted\u2014by the parents who go through this brand-new video series. If you\u2019re looking for a way to grow and apply what we\u2019re talking about here, this is how you do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; there is a version of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series that\u2019s available as an online course that moms and dads can go through together for free. You can find out more about that on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. We think it\u2019s probably best for you to get together with other parents and go through the video series together\u2014have the workbook; interact \/ talk about the issues you\u2019re facing, as parents; and help one another in the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> small group kit when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com as well; and then, of course, your new book, <em>The Art of Parenting, <\/em>is going to be here any day. If folks want to pre-order a copy of the book, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to pre-order; or they can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get on the list to receive the book as soon as it arrives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, if you are a regular <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener\u2014if you\u2019ve been on our website and looked at the articles that are available \/ the resources we have there, if you have been to any of our events, or if you\u2019ve used any of the materials that FamilyLife has produced and created\u2014you need to thank one of our Legacy Partners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Legacy Partners and those of you who donate, from time to time, to support this ministry\u2014you are the ones who make all that we do, here, at FamilyLife possible. There are hundreds of thousands of people who have engaged with us today around parenting all because of <em>you<\/em>. On behalf of all who have listened today, and throughout this week, and this month, and this year\u2014those who have been online \/ those who have been to our events\u2014we just want to say: \u201cThank you for your partnership with the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe couldn\u2019t do what we do without you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a regular listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>let me just say\u2014we want to make sure that, as you think about giving to our ministry, you don\u2019t do anything to take away from your financial support of your local church. Giving to your local church needs to be your number one priority when it comes to financial support. But, beyond that, if you\u2019re able to help with ministries like ours, we\u2019d love to have you be a part of the FamilyLife team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. And if you make a donation this month, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a book from our friend, Bryan Loritts, called <em>A Cross-Shaped Gospel<\/em>. It\u2019s a powerful new book that Bryan has written\u2014we\u2019d love to get a copy in your hands. You can request it when you donate at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation. Again, thanks for your support of the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back again on Monday when we\u2019re going to meet D.A. and Elisia Horton. This is a couple who, if you had met them during the first year of their marriage, or during their courtship for that matter, you\u2019d have thought, \u201cNo way can this couple survive as husband and wife!\u201d But they\u2019ve learned some things along the way, and they\u2019ll be here to share that with us. I hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300363","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300363"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300363"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300363"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300363"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}