{"id":300347,"date":"2018-08-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-08-24T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/changing-our-thinking-about-human-sexuality\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:31","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:31","slug":"changing-our-thinking-about-human-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/changing-our-thinking-about-human-sexuality\/","title":{"rendered":"Changing Our Thinking About Human Sexuality"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Juli Slattery explains what it means when parents sexually disciple their children on the biblical view of sex. What we think about sex begins with what we think about God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-24.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.73M","filesize_raw":"25927412","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2815,2806],"tags":[4507,2232,2991,4506],"podcast_series":[7241],"cwp_profile":[3388],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300347","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-sexual-wholeness","category-spiritual-development","tag-bliblical-view-of-sex","tag-god-and-sex","tag-sex","tag-talking-to-your-children-about-sex","podcast_series-rethinking-sexuality","cwp_profile-juli-slattery","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300347\/changing-our-thinking-about-human-sexuality","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300347\/changing-our-thinking-about-human-sexuality","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"1B4i9RxQtW\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/changing-our-thinking-about-human-sexuality\/\">Changing Our Thinking About Human Sexuality<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/changing-our-thinking-about-human-sexuality\/embed\/#?secret=1B4i9RxQtW\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Changing Our Thinking About Human Sexuality&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"1B4i9RxQtW\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In a culture that is confused about human sexuality, if we\u2019re going to think rightly, we need to go back to the source. Here\u2019s Dr. Juli Slattery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> You can never separate sexual issues from spiritual issues. Our choices and our thinking related to sexuality are ultimately rooted in our belief about God as the Creator, as the Healer, as the Redeemer. Jesus is our Lord, with authority to speak into every area of our lives. Not only that, but our sexual experiences actually impact our view of God.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. God is the One Who invented sex and sexuality. How can we get His perspective on the subject? We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019ve been having a conversation this week with our friend, Juli Slattery, about sexuality and about rethinking it. I\u2019ll tell you what came to mind for me, Dennis, as we\u2019ve been talking about this: an interview we did more than two decades ago with Jerry Kirk. What stood out for me, in that interview, was that he said, \u201cWhen a couple come together and experience marital intimacy, they are renewing their vows every time they come together.\u201d It\u2019s a vow renewal. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s a beautiful picture!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat didn\u2019t occur to me at the time was, if you follow that through, then when a couple comes together outside of marriage \u2013 when they\u2019re enjoying sexuality without the covenant of marriage being in place \u2013 they\u2019re really making false promises to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Even if they say to one another, \u201cOh, this is just for fun.\u201d<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>You know, \u201cNo promises; no commitment,\u201d they\u2019re still lying to one another as they give their bodies away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And there\u2019s bonding that\u2019s occurring, we know now from brain chemistry studies that have been done. You\u2019re actually establishing multiple covenants. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, Dr. Juli Slattery joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Thanks so much for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has written a new book called <em>Rethinking Sexuality, <\/em>to which her 15 year-old son said, \u201cMom!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnother one?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAnother book?!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cAbout sexuality?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJulie, you talk, in the book, about paradigms, and how we need to change our thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s just quickly go through the outline of what you talk about in the book. How do we change our thinking about human sexuality? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. Well, as I\u2019m teaching on this book, I\u2019m teaching seven paradigm shifts. The first paradigm shift is just the two words that we talked about in the last program, \u201csexual discipleship.\u201d Like nobody puts those two words together! It\u2019s <em>how <\/em>to think about our sexuality; not just what to think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it\u2019s a compelling narrative\u2014a lifestyle\u2014of walking with somebody and understanding their sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And when you\u2019re saying a \u201cparadigm shift\u201d here, you\u2019re saying the way we\u2019ve been thinking is not, \u201cHow do we disciple ourselves?\u201d It\u2019s, instead, \u201cHow do we just say \u2018no\u2019 to bad stuff?\u201d Is that it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, somewhat. Yes, I think, by and large, the Christian approach to sexuality has been either silence\u2014\u201cWe don\u2019t deal with those issues.\u201d\u2014or it has been a problem-solving approach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> You know, \u201cLet\u2019s get rid of the symptoms of pornography, sexual abuse, . . .\u201d It hasn\u2019t been a reclaiming of the conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright. So we\u2019re going to rethink this whole area and start to think, \u201cHow do we disciple ourselves in this area? How do we become conformed to Christ in this area?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s another paradigm shift?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So another one is that every sexual issue is, ultimately, a spiritual issue. What we see in our culture, particularly in our Christian culture, is that people feel that their sexuality is kind of split off from their spirituality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKenny Luck, who runs a ministry, uses this term: \u201csexual atheist.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I think [it] really describes, particularly, how a lot of young Christians view their sexuality. \u201cI can serve God with my life, but this one area of my life is very personal. I can think and act the way I want.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the paradigm shift is that you can never separate sexual issues from spiritual issues. Our choices and our thinking related to sexuality are ultimately rooted in our belief about God as the Creator, as the Healer, as the Redeemer. Jesus is our Lord, with authority to speak into every area of our lives. Not only that, but our sexual experiences actually impact our view of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo how many people are walking away from the Christian faith because they\u2019ve had an experience, that they can\u2019t make sense of, related to their sexuality. They can\u2019t understand \u201cwhy a loving God would allow this\u201d or would \u201cgive me this restriction.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we\u2019ve got to understand that when we talk about sexual issues, we\u2019re really talking about spiritual issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Some of our listeners will recognize the term Gnosticism. The Gnostic way of thinking, which was prevalent in Jesus\u2019s day, was that the spirit is good and the body is bad, so you\u2019re kind of separate. Your spirit\u2019s over here and your body\u2019s over here, and you can do whatever you want with your body, because it\u2019s going to burn someday; just protect your spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you think about sexual atheists, I think there\u2019s a level of Gnosticism here, where we say, \u201cOur body and our spirit are separate, and what we do in the body doesn\u2019t affect what we do in our spirit.\u201d Jesus says those are connected together. Body and spirit are inexorably tied. What you do in the body affects everything about you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, and, specifically, related to our sexuality. In 1 Corinthians, Chapter 6, Paul starts by talking about food. It <em>really <\/em>doesn\u2019t matter what you eat, because it will pass away, but what you do sexually has spiritual significance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost people here the verse, \u201cYour body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,\u201d and they think about it in terms of food or exercise; but the context was sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Every sexual choice you make is linked to your spirituality. No matter how much you tell yourself that it\u2019s not connected, it will always be connected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Julie, in your book, you make this statement\u2014I want you to unpack it. You say it this way, \u201cWhat you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What are people believing about God today that is impacting their sexuality?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I think a predominant message about God that we\u2019re believing is that God exists for us, instead of the other way around. \u201cGod exists for me to be fulfilled; for my pleasure, and, because of that, I can edit God\u2019s Word or work around it, because, ultimately, a God Who loves me wants me to be fulfilled and happy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that walks itself out in so many decisions that we make sexually. Like, \u201cI\u2019m not happy in my marriage, so I have the right to seek sex outside of my marriage.\u201d Or, \u201cI\u2019m single, and God hasn\u2019t brought a spouse, so I can get my needs met.\u201d Or, \u201cI feel attracted to the same gender, and God is perfectly fine with me acting on that, because He exists for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we look at true theology, we find that it\u2019s actually the reverse! We were created for God and for His glory, and our greatest fulfillment comes when we recognize that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright, time for a third paradigm shift. Give me another one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. A third paradigm shift is one that we talked about on the last program, but I\u2019m going to phrase it in a way that most people will have to really think about: \u201cThe gospel is written within our sexuality.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, the drive that we have\u2014the desire we have\u2014for sexuality is meant to draw us into covenant and [an] understand[ing of] the covenant love of God; the redemption of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow God gave Himself for us. So, when we read a passage like Ephesians, Chapter 5, and we read about marriage, what we don\u2019t really realize is that what\u2019s more important than what it\u2019s saying about marriage is what it\u2019s saying about God\u2019s love for His people; Jesus Christ\u2019s love for His Church. In our sexuality, we get a physical way of experiencing that to help us understand the deeper truth of the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that\u2019s something that, as you can imagine, can take hours to unpack and really apply, but that\u2019s, I think, perhaps the most critical paradigm shift in this book (striving to grasp that).\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It seems to me that the gospel is all about redemption, forgiveness, and hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In an area that\u2019s broken in your life, we\u2019re going to need to ask for forgiveness, grant forgiveness, and experience reconciliation and hope time after time after time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs that a piece of what you\u2019re talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, that is a big piece of what I\u2019m talking about. Even to go further, another piece of it is this mystery that Paul talks about, that even in our bodies, as two become one flesh, and the difference between male and female physically and emotionally, there\u2019s an echo of Christ\u2019s love for His Church, and of Christ sacrificing Himself; laying Himself down for His Church; washing her with the Word; to present Himself a pure bride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s this echo of an eternal love that our sexuality should be reminding us of. In the Catholic Church, actually, Pope John Paul II, before he became pope, spent most of his priesthood\u2014I guess you\u2019d call it that\u2014researching\/studying this concept that our sexuality reveals something of the heart of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe see it in the Scripture,--\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t--but I think we haven\u2019t dug deeply enough to see how practical it is as we\u2019re wrestling with real-life issues of sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let\u2019s talk about the fourth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Okay; the fourth paradigm shift is that we are all sexually broken. It\u2019s a paradigm shift because I think that, particularly within the Christian church, we define certain kinds of sexual temptations or struggles as \u201cbroken,\u201d and others of us as \u201cwhole.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn some ways, even the purity narrative has kind of set us up for this. It\u2019s like, \u201cIf you can stay a virgin before you get married, and you get married, then you\u2019re pure; you\u2019re whole. But if that doesn\u2019t fit you, then you\u2019re broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Whereas the gospel would say that <em>all <\/em>of us are broken and have fallen short of God\u2019s glory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jesus said, \u201cIf you have looked on a woman to lust, you\u2019ve committed adultery in your heart.\u201d So how many guys can say, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve never done that!\u201d Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. Or women!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Or even, once you get married, how much brokenness is there in our selfishness, in our lust, in our fantasies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re broken, and I think a large part of the conversation we\u2019re having with culture right now is failing, because we\u2019re still using this paradigm of, \u201cHey, we\u2019re whole! We\u2019ve got the message. You\u2019re all broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; pride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes! Instead of recognizing that we\u2019re a mess within the body of Christ (related to sexuality). \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You call this a pandemic in your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes! It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s a strong word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I think it\u2019s very accurate, and I think most people, if they think about it, will agree when you look at the divorce rate in the church; the use of pornography among Christians; when you look at Christian leaders who are having sexual failures. It\u2019s everywhere, but we\u2019re not allowed to speak it out loud until it hits the headlines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were to start with the reality that we <em>all <\/em>need forgiveness and grace and healing in this area, it would change the way we address this in the church and in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And it\u2019s interesting, when you think about the sexual brokenness that is revealed in John, Chapter 8, when a woman who has been caught in the very act of adultery is brought before the Scribes and the Pharisees. They are ready to condemn her for that, and Jesus steps forward and says, \u201cThe one who\u2019s not broken. . . \u201c\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s really what He is saying! \u201cThe one who hasn\u2019t had any sexual brokenness, you go ahead and throw the first stone.\u201d And they all drop their rocks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would be in a different place, dealing with one another about our sexual brokenness, if we could all just admit we\u2019ve got our own issues, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> We would! And we\u2019d be in a different place in dealing with the culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> They\u2019re not the problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, no, no. I\u2019ve got to have her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. Alright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, I\u2019ve got to have her do this really quickly. She says in the book, \u201cAlthough I wasn\u2019t abused as a child, I don\u2019t look at porn, and was a virgin on my wedding night, I am sexually broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s an interesting admission\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t--because there would be people listening to us who may be smugly sitting back thinking, \u201cI didn\u2019t participate in any of that, so I\u2019m not really <em>that <\/em>broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You would say--?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I would say we define brokenness based on how we see wholeness, and if we see wholeness as the absence of a certain kind of temptation or problem, then we\u2019re going to miss the boat; but if we see wholeness-sexual wholeness-as fully embracing and living out the metaphor of God\u2019s covenant love, then we all far short of that. And I fall far short of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now paradigm five, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Paradigm five is that Jesus came to redeem our sexuality. Because we have this division between the spiritual me and the sexual me, we really can\u2019t imagine that God would care about redeeming our sexuality. We don\u2019t feel safe even inviting Him into that space.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hmm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So, for example, if a woman has been sexually abused, and she\u2019s dealing with that trauma, she\u2019s going to get one of two answers probably. Either, \u201cAll you need to do is pray and read your Bible and this trauma will go away,\u201d or she will get the answer, \u201cThe church doesn\u2019t deal with that, so go see a psychologist.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s not this sense of integration; that God desires to bring deep healing. Not just the absence, again, of painful memories, but the restoration of the territory that has been damaged by the enemy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> And that involves the Scriptures. It involves restorative, healthy relationships. It involves what we know of the science of psychology; the wisdom that God created the world with, but all of it is meant to reconnect us to Who Jesus is. He is the Truth that sets us free. Really grasping that, I think, is a paradigm shift for many individuals as well as couples that are struggling: God <em>really <\/em>wants to reclaim this area of your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you ask a pretty pithy question at this point, in your chapter on this. You say, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we pursue spiritual and sexual healing with the same tenacity as (you know) we might have another problem?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cBut we kind of whisk this away with a broom underneath the rug.\u201d You go on to say, \u201cAs Christians, why don\u2019t we pray and fast, believing that God can mend the wounds inflicted by sexual abuse, rescue us from sexual addiction, heal brokenness in the marriage bed, and free us from the shame of the past?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Paradigm shift number six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes; truth and love must co-exist. Whenever we talk about sexual topics, particularly in today\u2019s day and age, I think that Christians feel like they\u2019re forced to choose between the two. Like, \u201cI either have to be a person that stands on what I believe is the truth of God\u2019s Word, or I have to be a loving person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I can\u2019t hold those two together. There are very practical situations that put you in that place of feeling like you\u2019re at a fork in the road, but when we look at the life of Jesus, we see that He was described as being \u201cfull of grace and truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> And He knew, because He was God, how to perfectly apply truth and grace in each situation. You know, the paradigm shift is: don\u2019t ever feel like you have to choose between those two, because Jesus didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we follow Him and ask the Holy Spirit to make us more like Him, He will show us what it looks like to walk that fine line of being somebody that is full of both grace and truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s where the challenge comes: you\u2019ll have a friend, or maybe a son or a daughter, who is same-sex attracted, and they will come to you and they\u2019ll say, \u201cMom, Dad, I\u2019m gay,\u201d or \u201cFriend, I\u2019m gay.\u201d They know what you believe about this, and they will say to you, \u201cIf you can\u2019t accept me for who I am, then you don\u2019t love me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They\u2019re putting you on notice that you can\u2019t have it both ways; you can\u2019t be full of grace and truth. \u201cYou either have to believe the way I believe and endorse my lifestyle, or you are an unloving person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, and that\u2019s a false paradigm. It\u2019s not only individuals that are feeling that need to choose. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> It\u2019s churches and denominations; but we\u2019ve got to recognize it as a false paradigm set up, really, by the enemy. The quality in Jesus\u2019s life that made both truth and grace fully possible was the character quality of humility, because our humility before God keeps us grounded in truth. We don\u2019t have the permission to edit Him. He defines morality. Our humility before men keeps us grounded in love. I don\u2019t have the right to judge you. I can still speak truth, but I\u2019m as broken as you are. I\u2019ll approach you with that perspective.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of feeling like, \u201cHey, get your stuff together and be like me!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So I believe, as individuals and as a church, we have to be pursuing the humility of Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And truth really needs grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> For broken people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re just not going to make it every time, you know? That\u2019s why we\u2019ve got to be grace people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber seven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Number seven is that it all begins with us. I remember being in a place, when God had first called me to this ministry of addressing sexual issues, of being on my knees before the Lord. I had really had the privilege of interacting with a few women who had been so severely sexually abused\u2014sex trafficking. You know, my heart was just <em>broken<\/em> for what is happening in our culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was on my knees and I was crying, \u201cGod! Why don\u2019t You <em>do something<\/em>!? Why don\u2019t You expose these people? Why don\u2019t You stop this?\u201d I kept asking Him, \u201cGod, why don\u2019t You do something?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just sensed the Lord say to me, \u201cJuli, why don\u2019t you do something?\u201d Boy, that was not what I expected to hear! But we are the body of Christ here on earth, and if we\u2019re heartbroken, and if we\u2019re angry about what we see happening in our world and in our culture, we\u2019ve got to remember that we are God\u2019s solution. As humbling as that is, because we know how limited we are, God works through willing, broken vessels. He works powerfully through them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod is inviting us to do something to reclaim this territory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A person who has written this many books on sexuality never has any problems with her husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> [Laughing] Right! You know, a person who has written this many books on sexuality realizes that she\u2019s in the cross-hairs of the enemy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So my husband and I are very, very aware that we are constantly vulnerable to the enemy\u2019s attacks, and they come in all different forms. We tell our three boys that, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to be extra on-guard. We still struggle, and, you know, I love that we still struggle, because it\u2019s what keeps this real and what keeps me humble and pathic as I teach. This is not an easy journey. It requires constant dependence on the Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, thanks for stepping into spiritual battle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Because I think we know a little bit about that here at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> You do; yes, you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thanks for putting your work in on a book that will help us rethink an area where, if we need to be reprogrammed\u2014if this is not in first place, Bob, what would be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, in this culture, this is what\u2019s jumping out at us every day in the headlines; every day in our private lives, with our friends, and with our family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd to rethink sexuality really is about renewing your mind around what God\u2019s Word has to say about this subject.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would suggest you get one copy, alright? Husband takes black ink and the wife takes red ink, and you read a chapter at a time, and you both underline, then you talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Who reads first? Husband or wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You play hopscotch, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Switch off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Husband goes first, then the wife; then the wife goes first, then the husband. Just see if you can make it all the way through the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright! So there\u2019s your assignment: go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and get a copy of Dr. Juli Slattery\u2019s book, <em>Rethinking Sexuality<\/em>, and then let us know how the back-and-forth reading worked out for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order the book from us online, again, at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call to order: 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-FLTODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow I hope you and your family are planning to worship together in your local church this weekend. In fact, let me just say a word about your involvement with your local church. Here at FamilyLife, we believe that for families to be strong and healthy families, they need to be regularly, actively engaged with their local church; not just attending, but participating and giving and doing life together with others.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would also say that you ought to be supporting your local church financially. That should be your first priority when it comes to financial giving. We\u2019ve said to people for years: we don\u2019t want any of you who feel led to give to FamilyLife\u2014we don\u2019t want you\u2014to take away from giving to your local church to do that. So please continue to make that your top priority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that said, we want to ask you to consider supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal here is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. To the extent you\u2019re able to help us with that goal, we\u2019re able to extend the reach of this ministry\u2014to reach more people, more regularly with practical, biblical help and hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, we have a matching gift opportunity that we\u2019re trying to take full advantage of. Some friends of the ministry have offered to match every donation we receive during the month of August on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $500,000. We still have a ways to go, so would you consider going online today to donate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation, knowing that your donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar. In addition, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, which is called <em>The Art of Parenting. <\/em>That\u2019s our way of saying \u201cthank you\u201d for your partnership with us in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, you can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call to donate at 1-800-FLTODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd make sure, when you go to church this Sunday, that you put some money in the offering plate, too, alright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you do have a great weekend! Hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to be talking with our friend, Ron Deal, about how important it is, in a blended family, that the husband and wife understand that, as husband and wife, they should be in the front seat, and the kids should be in the back seat. I\u2019m talking about that as a metaphor. We\u2019ll explain more about it on Monday. I hope you can be with us for all of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.73M"],"filesize_raw":["25927412"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300347.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300347.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Juli Slattery explains what it means when parents sexually disciple their children on the biblical view of sex. What we think about sex begins with what we think about God.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In a culture that is confused about human sexuality, if we\u2019re going to think rightly, we need to go back to the source. Here\u2019s Dr. Juli Slattery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> You can never separate sexual issues from spiritual issues. Our choices and our thinking related to sexuality are ultimately rooted in our belief about God as the Creator, as the Healer, as the Redeemer. Jesus is our Lord, with authority to speak into every area of our lives. Not only that, but our sexual experiences actually impact our view of God.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. God is the One Who invented sex and sexuality. How can we get His perspective on the subject? We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019ve been having a conversation this week with our friend, Juli Slattery, about sexuality and about rethinking it. I\u2019ll tell you what came to mind for me, Dennis, as we\u2019ve been talking about this: an interview we did more than two decades ago with Jerry Kirk. What stood out for me, in that interview, was that he said, \u201cWhen a couple come together and experience marital intimacy, they are renewing their vows every time they come together.\u201d It\u2019s a vow renewal. I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s a beautiful picture!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat didn\u2019t occur to me at the time was, if you follow that through, then when a couple comes together outside of marriage \u2013 when they\u2019re enjoying sexuality without the covenant of marriage being in place \u2013 they\u2019re really making false promises to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Even if they say to one another, \u201cOh, this is just for fun.\u201d<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>You know, \u201cNo promises; no commitment,\u201d they\u2019re still lying to one another as they give their bodies away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And there\u2019s bonding that\u2019s occurring, we know now from brain chemistry studies that have been done. You\u2019re actually establishing multiple covenants. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, Dr. Juli Slattery joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Thanks so much for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She has written a new book called <em>Rethinking Sexuality, <\/em>to which her 15 year-old son said, \u201cMom!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnother one?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAnother book?!\u201d [Laughter] \u201cAbout sexuality?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJulie, you talk, in the book, about paradigms, and how we need to change our thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s just quickly go through the outline of what you talk about in the book. How do we change our thinking about human sexuality? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. Well, as I\u2019m teaching on this book, I\u2019m teaching seven paradigm shifts. The first paradigm shift is just the two words that we talked about in the last program, \u201csexual discipleship.\u201d Like nobody puts those two words together! It\u2019s <em>how <\/em>to think about our sexuality; not just what to think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it\u2019s a compelling narrative\u2014a lifestyle\u2014of walking with somebody and understanding their sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And when you\u2019re saying a \u201cparadigm shift\u201d here, you\u2019re saying the way we\u2019ve been thinking is not, \u201cHow do we disciple ourselves?\u201d It\u2019s, instead, \u201cHow do we just say \u2018no\u2019 to bad stuff?\u201d Is that it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, somewhat. Yes, I think, by and large, the Christian approach to sexuality has been either silence\u2014\u201cWe don\u2019t deal with those issues.\u201d\u2014or it has been a problem-solving approach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> You know, \u201cLet\u2019s get rid of the symptoms of pornography, sexual abuse, . . .\u201d It hasn\u2019t been a reclaiming of the conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright. So we\u2019re going to rethink this whole area and start to think, \u201cHow do we disciple ourselves in this area? How do we become conformed to Christ in this area?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s another paradigm shift?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So another one is that every sexual issue is, ultimately, a spiritual issue. What we see in our culture, particularly in our Christian culture, is that people feel that their sexuality is kind of split off from their spirituality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKenny Luck, who runs a ministry, uses this term: \u201csexual atheist.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I think [it] really describes, particularly, how a lot of young Christians view their sexuality. \u201cI can serve God with my life, but this one area of my life is very personal. I can think and act the way I want.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the paradigm shift is that you can never separate sexual issues from spiritual issues. Our choices and our thinking related to sexuality are ultimately rooted in our belief about God as the Creator, as the Healer, as the Redeemer. Jesus is our Lord, with authority to speak into every area of our lives. Not only that, but our sexual experiences actually impact our view of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo how many people are walking away from the Christian faith because they\u2019ve had an experience, that they can\u2019t make sense of, related to their sexuality. They can\u2019t understand \u201cwhy a loving God would allow this\u201d or would \u201cgive me this restriction.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we\u2019ve got to understand that when we talk about sexual issues, we\u2019re really talking about spiritual issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Some of our listeners will recognize the term Gnosticism. The Gnostic way of thinking, which was prevalent in Jesus\u2019s day, was that the spirit is good and the body is bad, so you\u2019re kind of separate. Your spirit\u2019s over here and your body\u2019s over here, and you can do whatever you want with your body, because it\u2019s going to burn someday; just protect your spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you think about sexual atheists, I think there\u2019s a level of Gnosticism here, where we say, \u201cOur body and our spirit are separate, and what we do in the body doesn\u2019t affect what we do in our spirit.\u201d Jesus says those are connected together. Body and spirit are inexorably tied. What you do in the body affects everything about you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, and, specifically, related to our sexuality. In 1 Corinthians, Chapter 6, Paul starts by talking about food. It <em>really <\/em>doesn\u2019t matter what you eat, because it will pass away, but what you do sexually has spiritual significance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost people here the verse, \u201cYour body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,\u201d and they think about it in terms of food or exercise; but the context was sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Every sexual choice you make is linked to your spirituality. No matter how much you tell yourself that it\u2019s not connected, it will always be connected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Julie, in your book, you make this statement\u2014I want you to unpack it. You say it this way, \u201cWhat you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What are people believing about God today that is impacting their sexuality?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I think a predominant message about God that we\u2019re believing is that God exists for us, instead of the other way around. \u201cGod exists for me to be fulfilled; for my pleasure, and, because of that, I can edit God\u2019s Word or work around it, because, ultimately, a God Who loves me wants me to be fulfilled and happy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that walks itself out in so many decisions that we make sexually. Like, \u201cI\u2019m not happy in my marriage, so I have the right to seek sex outside of my marriage.\u201d Or, \u201cI\u2019m single, and God hasn\u2019t brought a spouse, so I can get my needs met.\u201d Or, \u201cI feel attracted to the same gender, and God is perfectly fine with me acting on that, because He exists for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we look at true theology, we find that it\u2019s actually the reverse! We were created for God and for His glory, and our greatest fulfillment comes when we recognize that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright, time for a third paradigm shift. Give me another one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. A third paradigm shift is one that we talked about on the last program, but I\u2019m going to phrase it in a way that most people will have to really think about: \u201cThe gospel is written within our sexuality.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, the drive that we have\u2014the desire we have\u2014for sexuality is meant to draw us into covenant and [an] understand[ing of] the covenant love of God; the redemption of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow God gave Himself for us. So, when we read a passage like Ephesians, Chapter 5, and we read about marriage, what we don\u2019t really realize is that what\u2019s more important than what it\u2019s saying about marriage is what it\u2019s saying about God\u2019s love for His people; Jesus Christ\u2019s love for His Church. In our sexuality, we get a physical way of experiencing that to help us understand the deeper truth of the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that\u2019s something that, as you can imagine, can take hours to unpack and really apply, but that\u2019s, I think, perhaps the most critical paradigm shift in this book (striving to grasp that).\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It seems to me that the gospel is all about redemption, forgiveness, and hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In an area that\u2019s broken in your life, we\u2019re going to need to ask for forgiveness, grant forgiveness, and experience reconciliation and hope time after time after time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs that a piece of what you\u2019re talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, that is a big piece of what I\u2019m talking about. Even to go further, another piece of it is this mystery that Paul talks about, that even in our bodies, as two become one flesh, and the difference between male and female physically and emotionally, there\u2019s an echo of Christ\u2019s love for His Church, and of Christ sacrificing Himself; laying Himself down for His Church; washing her with the Word; to present Himself a pure bride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s this echo of an eternal love that our sexuality should be reminding us of. In the Catholic Church, actually, Pope John Paul II, before he became pope, spent most of his priesthood\u2014I guess you\u2019d call it that\u2014researching\/studying this concept that our sexuality reveals something of the heart of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe see it in the Scripture,--\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t--but I think we haven\u2019t dug deeply enough to see how practical it is as we\u2019re wrestling with real-life issues of sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let\u2019s talk about the fourth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Okay; the fourth paradigm shift is that we are all sexually broken. It\u2019s a paradigm shift because I think that, particularly within the Christian church, we define certain kinds of sexual temptations or struggles as \u201cbroken,\u201d and others of us as \u201cwhole.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn some ways, even the purity narrative has kind of set us up for this. It\u2019s like, \u201cIf you can stay a virgin before you get married, and you get married, then you\u2019re pure; you\u2019re whole. But if that doesn\u2019t fit you, then you\u2019re broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Whereas the gospel would say that <em>all <\/em>of us are broken and have fallen short of God\u2019s glory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jesus said, \u201cIf you have looked on a woman to lust, you\u2019ve committed adultery in your heart.\u201d So how many guys can say, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve never done that!\u201d Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes. Or women!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Or even, once you get married, how much brokenness is there in our selfishness, in our lust, in our fantasies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re broken, and I think a large part of the conversation we\u2019re having with culture right now is failing, because we\u2019re still using this paradigm of, \u201cHey, we\u2019re whole! We\u2019ve got the message. You\u2019re all broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; pride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes! Instead of recognizing that we\u2019re a mess within the body of Christ (related to sexuality). \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You call this a pandemic in your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes! It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s a strong word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Well, I think it\u2019s very accurate, and I think most people, if they think about it, will agree when you look at the divorce rate in the church; the use of pornography among Christians; when you look at Christian leaders who are having sexual failures. It\u2019s everywhere, but we\u2019re not allowed to speak it out loud until it hits the headlines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were to start with the reality that we <em>all <\/em>need forgiveness and grace and healing in this area, it would change the way we address this in the church and in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And it\u2019s interesting, when you think about the sexual brokenness that is revealed in John, Chapter 8, when a woman who has been caught in the very act of adultery is brought before the Scribes and the Pharisees. They are ready to condemn her for that, and Jesus steps forward and says, \u201cThe one who\u2019s not broken. . . \u201c\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s really what He is saying! \u201cThe one who hasn\u2019t had any sexual brokenness, you go ahead and throw the first stone.\u201d And they all drop their rocks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would be in a different place, dealing with one another about our sexual brokenness, if we could all just admit we\u2019ve got our own issues, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> We would! And we\u2019d be in a different place in dealing with the culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> They\u2019re not the problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, no, no. I\u2019ve got to have her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. Alright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No, I\u2019ve got to have her do this really quickly. She says in the book, \u201cAlthough I wasn\u2019t abused as a child, I don\u2019t look at porn, and was a virgin on my wedding night, I am sexually broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s an interesting admission\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t--because there would be people listening to us who may be smugly sitting back thinking, \u201cI didn\u2019t participate in any of that, so I\u2019m not really <em>that <\/em>broken.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You would say--?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> I would say we define brokenness based on how we see wholeness, and if we see wholeness as the absence of a certain kind of temptation or problem, then we\u2019re going to miss the boat; but if we see wholeness-sexual wholeness-as fully embracing and living out the metaphor of God\u2019s covenant love, then we all far short of that. And I fall far short of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now paradigm five, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Paradigm five is that Jesus came to redeem our sexuality. Because we have this division between the spiritual me and the sexual me, we really can\u2019t imagine that God would care about redeeming our sexuality. We don\u2019t feel safe even inviting Him into that space.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hmm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So, for example, if a woman has been sexually abused, and she\u2019s dealing with that trauma, she\u2019s going to get one of two answers probably. Either, \u201cAll you need to do is pray and read your Bible and this trauma will go away,\u201d or she will get the answer, \u201cThe church doesn\u2019t deal with that, so go see a psychologist.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s not this sense of integration; that God desires to bring deep healing. Not just the absence, again, of painful memories, but the restoration of the territory that has been damaged by the enemy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> And that involves the Scriptures. It involves restorative, healthy relationships. It involves what we know of the science of psychology; the wisdom that God created the world with, but all of it is meant to reconnect us to Who Jesus is. He is the Truth that sets us free. Really grasping that, I think, is a paradigm shift for many individuals as well as couples that are struggling: God <em>really <\/em>wants to reclaim this area of your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you ask a pretty pithy question at this point, in your chapter on this. You say, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we pursue spiritual and sexual healing with the same tenacity as (you know) we might have another problem?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cBut we kind of whisk this away with a broom underneath the rug.\u201d You go on to say, \u201cAs Christians, why don\u2019t we pray and fast, believing that God can mend the wounds inflicted by sexual abuse, rescue us from sexual addiction, heal brokenness in the marriage bed, and free us from the shame of the past?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Paradigm shift number six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes; truth and love must co-exist. Whenever we talk about sexual topics, particularly in today\u2019s day and age, I think that Christians feel like they\u2019re forced to choose between the two. Like, \u201cI either have to be a person that stands on what I believe is the truth of God\u2019s Word, or I have to be a loving person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I can\u2019t hold those two together. There are very practical situations that put you in that place of feeling like you\u2019re at a fork in the road, but when we look at the life of Jesus, we see that He was described as being \u201cfull of grace and truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> And He knew, because He was God, how to perfectly apply truth and grace in each situation. You know, the paradigm shift is: don\u2019t ever feel like you have to choose between those two, because Jesus didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we follow Him and ask the Holy Spirit to make us more like Him, He will show us what it looks like to walk that fine line of being somebody that is full of both grace and truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s where the challenge comes: you\u2019ll have a friend, or maybe a son or a daughter, who is same-sex attracted, and they will come to you and they\u2019ll say, \u201cMom, Dad, I\u2019m gay,\u201d or \u201cFriend, I\u2019m gay.\u201d They know what you believe about this, and they will say to you, \u201cIf you can\u2019t accept me for who I am, then you don\u2019t love me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They\u2019re putting you on notice that you can\u2019t have it both ways; you can\u2019t be full of grace and truth. \u201cYou either have to believe the way I believe and endorse my lifestyle, or you are an unloving person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, and that\u2019s a false paradigm. It\u2019s not only individuals that are feeling that need to choose. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> It\u2019s churches and denominations; but we\u2019ve got to recognize it as a false paradigm set up, really, by the enemy. The quality in Jesus\u2019s life that made both truth and grace fully possible was the character quality of humility, because our humility before God keeps us grounded in truth. We don\u2019t have the permission to edit Him. He defines morality. Our humility before men keeps us grounded in love. I don\u2019t have the right to judge you. I can still speak truth, but I\u2019m as broken as you are. I\u2019ll approach you with that perspective.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of feeling like, \u201cHey, get your stuff together and be like me!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So I believe, as individuals and as a church, we have to be pursuing the humility of Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And truth really needs grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> For broken people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re just not going to make it every time, you know? That\u2019s why we\u2019ve got to be grace people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber seven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> Number seven is that it all begins with us. I remember being in a place, when God had first called me to this ministry of addressing sexual issues, of being on my knees before the Lord. I had really had the privilege of interacting with a few women who had been so severely sexually abused\u2014sex trafficking. You know, my heart was just <em>broken<\/em> for what is happening in our culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was on my knees and I was crying, \u201cGod! Why don\u2019t You <em>do something<\/em>!? Why don\u2019t You expose these people? Why don\u2019t You stop this?\u201d I kept asking Him, \u201cGod, why don\u2019t You do something?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just sensed the Lord say to me, \u201cJuli, why don\u2019t you do something?\u201d Boy, that was not what I expected to hear! But we are the body of Christ here on earth, and if we\u2019re heartbroken, and if we\u2019re angry about what we see happening in our world and in our culture, we\u2019ve got to remember that we are God\u2019s solution. As humbling as that is, because we know how limited we are, God works through willing, broken vessels. He works powerfully through them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod is inviting us to do something to reclaim this territory.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A person who has written this many books on sexuality never has any problems with her husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> [Laughing] Right! You know, a person who has written this many books on sexuality realizes that she\u2019s in the cross-hairs of the enemy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> So my husband and I are very, very aware that we are constantly vulnerable to the enemy\u2019s attacks, and they come in all different forms. We tell our three boys that, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to be extra on-guard. We still struggle, and, you know, I love that we still struggle, because it\u2019s what keeps this real and what keeps me humble and pathic as I teach. This is not an easy journey. It requires constant dependence on the Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, thanks for stepping into spiritual battle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Because I think we know a little bit about that here at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Juli:<\/strong> You do; yes, you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thanks for putting your work in on a book that will help us rethink an area where, if we need to be reprogrammed\u2014if this is not in first place, Bob, what would be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, in this culture, this is what\u2019s jumping out at us every day in the headlines; every day in our private lives, with our friends, and with our family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd to rethink sexuality really is about renewing your mind around what God\u2019s Word has to say about this subject.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would suggest you get one copy, alright? Husband takes black ink and the wife takes red ink, and you read a chapter at a time, and you both underline, then you talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Who reads first? Husband or wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You play hopscotch, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Switch off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Husband goes first, then the wife; then the wife goes first, then the husband. Just see if you can make it all the way through the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright! So there\u2019s your assignment: go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and get a copy of Dr. Juli Slattery\u2019s book, <em>Rethinking Sexuality<\/em>, and then let us know how the back-and-forth reading worked out for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order the book from us online, again, at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call to order: 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-FLTODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow I hope you and your family are planning to worship together in your local church this weekend. In fact, let me just say a word about your involvement with your local church. Here at FamilyLife, we believe that for families to be strong and healthy families, they need to be regularly, actively engaged with their local church; not just attending, but participating and giving and doing life together with others.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would also say that you ought to be supporting your local church financially. That should be your first priority when it comes to financial giving. We\u2019ve said to people for years: we don\u2019t want any of you who feel led to give to FamilyLife\u2014we don\u2019t want you\u2014to take away from giving to your local church to do that. So please continue to make that your top priority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that said, we want to ask you to consider supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal here is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. To the extent you\u2019re able to help us with that goal, we\u2019re able to extend the reach of this ministry\u2014to reach more people, more regularly with practical, biblical help and hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, we have a matching gift opportunity that we\u2019re trying to take full advantage of. Some friends of the ministry have offered to match every donation we receive during the month of August on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $500,000. We still have a ways to go, so would you consider going online today to donate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation, knowing that your donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar. In addition, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, which is called <em>The Art of Parenting. <\/em>That\u2019s our way of saying \u201cthank you\u201d for your partnership with us in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, you can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call to donate at 1-800-FLTODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd make sure, when you go to church this Sunday, that you put some money in the offering plate, too, alright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you do have a great weekend! Hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to be talking with our friend, Ron Deal, about how important it is, in a blended family, that the husband and wife understand that, as husband and wife, they should be in the front seat, and the kids should be in the back seat. I\u2019m talking about that as a metaphor. We\u2019ll explain more about it on Monday. I hope you can be with us for all of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300347","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300347"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300347"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300347"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300347"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}