{"id":300343,"date":"2018-08-22T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-08-22T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/welcoming-your-neighbors\/"},"modified":"2025-04-30T12:51:56","modified_gmt":"2025-04-30T16:51:56","slug":"welcoming-your-neighbors","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/welcoming-your-neighbors\/","title":{"rendered":"Welcoming Your Neighbors"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rosaria Butterfield illustrates how she practices radical hospitality. By doing this, she explains, we can live out the gospel, build relationships, and hopefully see others come to Christ.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rosaria Butterfield illustrates how she practices radical hospitality. By doing this, she explains, we can live out the gospel, build relationships, and hopefully see others come to Christ.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-22.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.75M","filesize_raw":"25950973","date_recorded":"2018-08-22 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821],"tags":[4502,4505,4503,4427],"podcast_series":[7240],"cwp_profile":[8848],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300343","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","tag-hospitality","tag-love-of-christ","tag-neighbor","tag-sharing-the-gospel","podcast_series-the-gospel-comes-with-a-house-key","cwp_profile-rosaria-butterfield","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300343\/welcoming-your-neighbors","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300343\/welcoming-your-neighbors","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"QgqiV9fYhV\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/welcoming-your-neighbors\/\">Welcoming Your Neighbors<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/welcoming-your-neighbors\/embed\/#?secret=QgqiV9fYhV\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Welcoming Your Neighbors&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"QgqiV9fYhV\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We live in a world today where hospitality has fallen on hard times, and Rosaria Butterfield says if we\u2019re going to practice biblical hospitality there are things we\u2019re doing today that are going to have to change.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to change your practices. I know that. I was in the gay community once. So, practicing radically ordinary hospitality, actually obeying the Bible\u2019s commands to love the stranger, it\u2019s inconvenient and it\u2019s expensive, but if we don\u2019t like the way the world is going\u2014and I want to say this gently, but I need to say it\u2014Christians need to put up or shut up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.<\/p>\n<p>Are you and your family open to what could be the great hospitality adventure that awaits you? We\u2019re going to explore that today with our guest, Rosaria Butterfield. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been to your house, and you have a nice gas grill out at your house. It\u2019s in the back yard. I just thought I\u2019d point out it\u2019s in the <em>back<\/em> yard, and I\u2019m just wondering if you\u2019re going to repent of that as a result of what we\u2019re talking about this week.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why would I repent of a gas grill in the back yard?<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ask our guest why you would repent of that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Rosaria Butterfield joins us again. I think she\u2019s joining us again. What\u2019s my sin issue with the back yard?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bo-o-ob, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a sin!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, alright. Maybe he doesn\u2019t need to repent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think you need to repent!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But reconsider, maybe?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 When we moved to our home when Kent was called to be the pastor of the First Reformed Presbyterian Church of Durham and we wanted to get to know our neighbors, we discovered that a lot of people did a lot of fun things in the back yard\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>2:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014and we thought it would just be wiser to do some things in the front yard, because lots of walkers, lots of dog walkers, lots of gardeners\u2026 So we actually moved the grill and the picnic table, which we painted neon green, to the front yard. A friend of ours, a pastor friend, Micah Ramsey, put a tire swing up, and the front yard became a nice gathering place.<\/p>\n<p>And then, for years, what we did on Thursday nights was we would use our Next Door app and we posted that Thursday nights we would have a prayer walk in the neighborhood and we would meet at the neon picnic table, and that was how we started getting to know our neighbors, making a place that isn\u2019t public but isn\u2019t private. So, we\u2019ve just used our front yard.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I bet you\u2019ve never gotten \u201cYard of the Month\u201d in your neighborhood, have you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, in fact, just the opposite.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I have nice neighbors who come over and offer to help us\u2014you know. My personal favorite is when my husband Kent decided he was going to grow grass under the tire swing. He put out grass seed and neighbors would stop and say, \u201cKent, you\u2019re one of the faithful, I can tell!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what radically ordinary hospitality looks like. You put your neon green picnic table and your gas grill\u2014see, if I put my gas grill in the front yard, the neighbors would think it was up on the curb and they could have it, right?<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in case our listeners do not know Rosaria Butterfield, she\u2019s an author of a number of books, speaker, pastor\u2019s wife, homeschool mom, has four children, and is the author of a couple of books that have been featured here on <em>FamilyLife Today, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert<\/em> and this one, <em>The Gospel Comes With a House Key<\/em>, and it\u2019s talking about hospitality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What I want to talk about is the first conversation you had with Kent about how your home was going to be used in a dramatically different way, and when the Supreme Court ruled that marriage could include those of the same sex.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a key point.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was\u00a0 watershed. It really was. But even prior to that\u2014so, Kent and I are both the only believers in our family, until our youngest children came to faith. So when we got married we remember the loneliness of, you know, you\u2019re in church and you\u2019re a family of God, and the benediction is still ringing in your ears, but people are scattering in their bounded groups, and you\u2019re not part of those. So for years we had been a place where the singles would gather or a place where the neighbors would gather. It was just part of what we did to respond to our own loneliness, and also to step into that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But, at any rate, over the course of many years\u2014Kent was a church planter for awhile in Virginia. During that time, we used our home in a radically different way than any of the other neighbors did, and on and on.<\/p>\n<p>But Obergefell, 2015, the Supreme Court decision that didn\u2019t just legalize gay marriage in 50 states\u2014it did do that, but it did something else that Christians don\u2019t quite track with. It instituted a new form of personhood, one that is explicitly anti-biblical. It said that \u201csexual orientation tells me who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, there\u2019s no question that your sexual patterning may very well tell me how you are, but only God can tell you who you are, and because it conflated that, and because at the same time we saw the uprising of this new neo-orthodoxy called gay Christianity\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>6:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014we have a situation where the Gospel is on a collision course with this category of sexual orientation as a category of personhood, a <em>who <\/em>you are, not a <em>how<\/em> you are. It\u2019s like the Gospel isn\u2019t relevant. How could the Gospel be good news if you can\u2019t be who you are? Or, moms and dads who have been faithful, who have raised their children in the church, and their children go off to college and they come back and they say, \u201cI\u2019m a lesbian,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a gay man,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a transgender woman.\u201d These moms and dads feel like, \u201cI don\u2019t even have the right vocabulary.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, speaking about vocabulary, all the vocabulary changed! Now you\u2019re allowed to say queer; 20 years ago you couldn\u2019t. There are 60 different sexual identities on Facebook. Even though Genesis 1:27 says that \u201cGod created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>7:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I mean, right here we see that being born male and female is a creation issue, and it comes, we\u2019ll learn later, with ethical and moral responsibilities and constraints and blessings. But it seemed almost overnight after Obergefell something else happened, and these things called SOGI laws appeared everywhere, sexual orientation gender identity laws. Very quickly, everywhere from kindergarten classrooms to the public library, we were told that we had this whole idea of image-bearing wrong, we had this whole idea of personhood wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Now, sexual orientation, we were told, is a true category of personhood, even though actually it\u2019s a 19<sup>th<\/sup>-century invention. I talk about it in a book called <em>Openness Unhindered<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And in terms of being an invention, you\u2019re talking about [how] man has taken away God\u2019s authority to be the Creator, and man has said, \u201cI\u2019m going to redefine this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>8:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. That\u2019s right. So I don\u2019t mean that sexual desires are an invention or that homosexual desires were a category invention, but the idea that sexual orientation is actually who you are and that that is endemic, established, ontological, and ultimately eternal. Well, it\u2019s heresy from a Christian perspective, but it\u2019s also an invention of the 19<sup>th<\/sup> century. But now we live in a world that says, \u201cSexual orientation is truly who you are, but male-female differentiation, your biological sex, that\u2019s actually a matter of psychological preference.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, you know, it\u2019s a very Orwellian world that we\u2019re in. George Orwell was the one who first said that \u201cif you want to create a revolution, change the language and you change the logic.\u201d A fairly liberal theologian named Theo Hobson has said, \u201cYou know that you\u2019re in a revolutionary moment when what was formerly despised is now celebrated, what was formerly celebrated is now despised\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>9:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2014and those who refuse to celebrate are despised.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, almost overnight, Obergefell put us into a very clear place where are now in post Christianity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what does this have to do with moving your picnic table to the front yard and your grill out there?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it has a lot to do with that, because in this particular world you care about your neighbors, you want them to know Jesus, but inviting them to church is not how that happens. Your relationships have to be strong, stronger than they have ever been before. You need to make yourself a trusted confidante. You might say, \u201cWell, who gave me that job, Rosaria? I don\u2019t like that job, and I don\u2019t think that\u2019s my job.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But this is all part of the package of what it means to love the stranger. You know, when you love the stranger, people are going to think you\u2019re strange. So I\u2019m not surprised that even other Christians might think that this is very strange.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I would say this, too\u2014and I want to say this very gently; I don\u2019t mean this to come across in a harsh way, and again, there are seasons of life when we have practiced a kind of radical form of hospitality, seasons of life when we didn\u2019t. When my mother was dying, at a certain point, at home, we were not having 20 people over. That would have been obscene. So there\u2019s a certain ebb and flow to that, and one must be responsible to your family. That subsidization is an important part of being a responsible head of household and a responsible mom and dad.<\/p>\n<p>But what I would say is this: if you think this is a post-Christian world and you\u2019re upset that the world has changed almost overnight, you don\u2019t like what\u2019s happening; and when you wonder, \u201cHow did people like Rosaria come to faith, or not just Rosaria, others? How did the radically converted come to faith?\u201d You hear that in almost all of our cases it was some kind of radical hospitality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>11:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It was some faithful, unnamed, unknown\u2014I mean, named to us, but not famous people. These are not people with a million Twitter followers or whatever that means, you know; just your average Christian opening her home, opening his home, teaching you how to play cards, praying for you, serving you, teaching you how to apply faith to the facts of your life. When you hear over and over and over again, \u201cThat\u2019s how the radically converted came to faith,\u201d then you as listener need to think about it.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, it\u2019s hard to change your practices. I know that. I was in the gay community once. So, practicing radically ordinary hospitality, actually obeying the Bible\u2019s commands to love the stranger, it\u2019s inconvenient and it\u2019s expensive, but if we don\u2019t like the way the world is going\u2014and I want to say this gently, but I need to say it\u2014Christians need to put up or shut up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>12:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We have to do something differently or we need to accept that we will soon be\u2014and maybe sooner than you think\u2014living like the first century church in Rome.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And can we just say that shouting the truth louder than we\u2019d been shouting it is probably not going to be an effective tactic?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, because we\u2019re polarized. No, no, no. We need relationships that break down polarization. So no, the careless use of\u2014and the careless sinning of both self-promotion and gossip that has described Christian behavior on social media\u2014please don\u2019t ask God to bless that. God doesn\u2019t bless sin. He does something else with sin; He\u2019s paid for it, so now you repent of it. But no, building relationships means having conversations with people that are off the record, and it means caring tenderly and gently for your neighbors who come to faith.<\/p>\n<p><strong>13:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You know, when I came to faith, I can imagine that there are some pastors who might have wanted to exploit that, but Ken Smith just wanted to give glory to God. It\u2019s God\u2019s work.<\/p>\n<p>So those are important things. Hospitality transforms the identity of the stranger into neighbor into family of God.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, let me ask you how we handle this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We get to know a neighbor, and here\u2019s what we find out: first of all, their politics are completely different than ours.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They watch channels we have blocked, right, on our TV.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mm-hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re saying not just politics, their values?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, their values are completely different than ours, and they have a history that\u2019s pretty dark and I\u2019m not sure I want my kids to hear about what they\u2019ve been around.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And maybe their language is different.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly, yes. So, I\u2019m going to invite them over for dinner? I just don\u2019t see how this is going to go well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>14:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, before you\u2019ve invited them to dinner, probably you as a family have been practicing family devotions, and probably you as a family have been reading through the Bible. There\u2019s not one thing out there that hasn\u2019t already been talked about as a family.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, it depends on how you talk about these things, but I know that in our case, when we would go through family devotions\u2014I mean, long before my children knew what lesbian meant or atheist meant or any that, they knew what mom meant, and they knew that \u201cMom was this, and now she\u2019s that.\u201d They knew that that\u2019s why Jesus is in the business of doing what he does. Those were the conversations that we knew.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I would say that maybe your neighbors have more reason to fear you than you have to fear them. Have you thought about that? Maybe your politics and your theology and your language and your faith\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>15:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014will provide more of a challenge, more of a life crisis, for your neighbors than they will for you.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what happens when Jesus gets ahold of somebody: the Gospel comes in exchange of the life you once lived, not in addition to it. Alright, so you have neighbors over, they use bad language. They go home, you say to the kids, \u201cWe never want to hear you say that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, you know, you actually have the Holy Spirit, you have the protection of the Lord, you have His providential care. But what makes you think your neighbors are going to want to have your company? Sometimes inviting people over for dinner can be very intimate, and people don\u2019t know what to expect, they don\u2019t know what you\u2019re going to say, they\u2019re going to feel trapped, they don\u2019t know where the door is; but doing things like openly inviting everyone to a block party. And you know why you\u2019re there? Because you all live on November drive, or whatever.<\/p>\n<p><strong>16:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, making it a little bit more open-ended like that, making sure that the children are included, being prayerful, praying your way through that neighborhood, starting there.<\/p>\n<p>I talked a little bit before about how important it is to have open invitations, because people who live in unsafe circumstances or people who live with addictions, they just don\u2019t know if they\u2019re going to be sober or safe three Tuesdays from yesterday, but if it\u2019s Thursday night and that\u2019s the night that the block party happens\u2014and do what you do. Don\u2019t think that your Christian faith is going to be transferred by osmosis.<\/p>\n<p>We invite people over, and my husband says, \u201cWell, look! My hot dogs\u2026\u201d You know, \u201cThese are my hot dogs, so I\u2019m going to bless the food.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. Do you do family devotions with the pagan neighbors there?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we do. Absolutely, we do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, how do you say to the pagan neighbors, \u201cSo, we\u2019re going to do a little Bible reading now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 It happens pretty smoothly. What happens after dinner is the children collect all the dishes\u2014and we have two large tables that we string together.<\/p>\n<p><strong>17:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We use the family room and the dining room for the basic eating area, and so\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, generally, how many people are we talking about here?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have anywhere from one guest to 15 on any given night. The big nights, for us, are Thursday nights and the Lord\u2019s Day. Our idea of keeping the Lord\u2019s day holy is making sure that the church has a place to gather, and that often brings neighbors in as well.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve been doing this for awhile, so people know that there\u2019s a bit of a routine. It\u2019s not like we\u2019re unknown to our neighbors. But we pass the plates, and, you know, the plates go one direction and the Bibles and the coffee mugs go another direction. We just say to people; we say, \u201cWell, this is our time of family devotions, and by that we mean that we\u2019re going to read a passage of Scripture and we\u2019re going to talk about it and we\u2019re going to share prayer requests and we\u2019re going to go before God and pray. Would you like to join us?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And do they mostly say yes?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 They mostly say yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>18:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are there some who have said, \u201cWe need to go now\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. Absolutely. But, you know what, that\u2019s fine, too, and people often have very good reasons for going. It\u2019s not necessarily that they think\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they\u2019re hostile.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they\u2019re hostile. But because we do this literally every night\u2014this isn\u2019t something done as a show for the unbelievers at the table, it isn\u2019t something that we do when it\u2019s convenient; it\u2019s an every night thing. Table fellowship is an intimate thing.<\/p>\n<p>And I talked about the front yard. So, sometimes it\u2019s hard to get from the front yard inside, but winter is a great opportunity. You know a great way to get inside? It\u2019s cold out there, it\u2019s raining out there!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and holidays are really a great open door opportunity, aren\u2019t they?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, especially holidays and crises. We\u2019ve made a ministry out of inviting everyone in the neighborhood over for holidays and crises. I don\u2019t think Christians realize how lonely certain holidays are.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. I believe you\u2019re right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>19:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Certain holidays say to the world, \u201cIf you don\u2019t have anybody to spend this day with, you are a loser.\u201d So for us, we\u2019ve always had an open house on Christmas. That is not a family day for us. I know that\u2019s going to push a lot of buttons, but that just isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Over the years of being of foster parents, we learned the danger of setting apart a day of sort of excessive gift-giving\u2014and I\u2019m not opposed to gifts. I\u2019m not making an anti\u2014people have different positions on how to manage extrabiblical days. So, you do whatever you do, but realize that it\u2019s a day of profound loneliness for people who might not have a special person.<\/p>\n<p>You know, let\u2019s realize that if you are a member of a church, you have a special person; you have many special people. You have all these people called brothers and sisters.<\/p>\n<p><strong>20:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There shouldn\u2019t be a question about where you spend those days.<\/p>\n<p>But it\u2019s also true for the neighborhood, and you also find out, if you do an open invitation on Christmas, you\u2019re going to find out what older people in your neighborhood are shut in, and that\u2019s amazing. You will be blessed by those older people, and who more need to have the gospel than people at the end of their lives? I mean, people who are standing at the edge of eternity, and they might be 20 feet from you, and you don\u2019t know it because you\u2019re busy, right? That doesn\u2019t make sense to me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Rosaria, I\u2019ve just thought about your book and this time we\u2019ve spent this week. I accused you of being a disrupter earlier.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 You did. You did. I felt it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to apologize for that, because it really is the truth, but you\u2019re going to change the way people think about their meals. You\u2019re going to get them thinking differently about their home. Instead of it being just a physical facility, you\u2019re going to challenge them to think about it being an embassy, a place\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>21:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014where you are an ambassador of the King of kings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and the thing I think is so helpful here is [that] you are giving us a strategy that I think feels warm. It doesn\u2019t feel clumsy or awkward, it doesn\u2019t feel like this is something we\u2019re doing that is obnoxious or off-putting to our neighbors. Inviting people in and demonstrating hospitality is a warm thing to do, and that\u2019s going to open doors and hearts and conversations, and it\u2019s going to allow for interaction around the Gospel, and we should all have a heart for that.<\/p>\n<p>I hope our listeners will get a copy of your book. It\u2019s called <em>The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World<\/em>. You can order a copy of the book from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to order.<\/p>\n<p><strong>22:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com, or call us at 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I haven\u2019t checked this week to find out if your book <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, the book you and Barbara have just finished writing, if that book has arrived yet or not. We\u2019ve been looking for it pretty regularly, because we want to get copies of this book out to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. In fact, this month we\u2019re making the book available to any listener who can support the ministry of FamilyLife with a donation of any amount.<\/p>\n<p>You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ll get the book out to you as soon as it comes from the publisher. In addition, during the month of August your donation is going to be doubled. Whatever you\u2019re able to give is going to be matched dollar for dollar with money from a matching grant fund that has been provided to FamilyLife by some friends of this ministry.<\/p>\n<p><strong>23:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, your donation is doubled and you get a copy of Dennis and Barbara\u2019s brand new book when you make a donation this month.<\/p>\n<p>So, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to donate, or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make your donation. Thanks in advance for what you\u2019re able to do in support of this ministry; we appreciate hearing from you.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, if you have any questions about Dennis and Barbara\u2019s new book or FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>video series, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> online course, the movie \u201cLike Arrows\u201d that\u2019s now available for churches to use for special screenings; all of that information is available online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and we\u2019re excited about how God is going to be using the book and the video series and all of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> content in the weeks and months ahead.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I was thinking about the subject of hospitality. You could have a potluck supper over at your house, watch session one from <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, and see if your neighbors want to come back for session two in another week or two. That\u2019s a great way to open up your home for a little radically ordinary hospitality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>24:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Again, more information about <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> is available online at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about how we should be thinking and interacting with friends and neighbors on the subject of human sexuality in a world where the cultural view and the biblical view are at odds with one another. Julie Slattery will join us to talk about how we rethink sexuality, and I hope you can be with us for that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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Butterfield illustrates how she practices radical hospitality. By doing this, she explains, we can live out the gospel, build relationships, and hopefully see others come to Christ.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We live in a world today where hospitality has fallen on hard times, and Rosaria Butterfield says if we\u2019re going to practice biblical hospitality there are things we\u2019re doing today that are going to have to change.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to change your practices. I know that. I was in the gay community once. So, practicing radically ordinary hospitality, actually obeying the Bible\u2019s commands to love the stranger, it\u2019s inconvenient and it\u2019s expensive, but if we don\u2019t like the way the world is going\u2014and I want to say this gently, but I need to say it\u2014Christians need to put up or shut up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.<\/p>\n<p>Are you and your family open to what could be the great hospitality adventure that awaits you? We\u2019re going to explore that today with our guest, Rosaria Butterfield. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been to your house, and you have a nice gas grill out at your house. It\u2019s in the back yard. I just thought I\u2019d point out it\u2019s in the <em>back<\/em> yard, and I\u2019m just wondering if you\u2019re going to repent of that as a result of what we\u2019re talking about this week.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why would I repent of a gas grill in the back yard?<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ask our guest why you would repent of that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Rosaria Butterfield joins us again. I think she\u2019s joining us again. What\u2019s my sin issue with the back yard?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bo-o-ob, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a sin!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, alright. Maybe he doesn\u2019t need to repent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think you need to repent!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But reconsider, maybe?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 When we moved to our home when Kent was called to be the pastor of the First Reformed Presbyterian Church of Durham and we wanted to get to know our neighbors, we discovered that a lot of people did a lot of fun things in the back yard\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>2:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014and we thought it would just be wiser to do some things in the front yard, because lots of walkers, lots of dog walkers, lots of gardeners\u2026 So we actually moved the grill and the picnic table, which we painted neon green, to the front yard. A friend of ours, a pastor friend, Micah Ramsey, put a tire swing up, and the front yard became a nice gathering place.<\/p>\n<p>And then, for years, what we did on Thursday nights was we would use our Next Door app and we posted that Thursday nights we would have a prayer walk in the neighborhood and we would meet at the neon picnic table, and that was how we started getting to know our neighbors, making a place that isn\u2019t public but isn\u2019t private. So, we\u2019ve just used our front yard.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I bet you\u2019ve never gotten \u201cYard of the Month\u201d in your neighborhood, have you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, in fact, just the opposite.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I have nice neighbors who come over and offer to help us\u2014you know. My personal favorite is when my husband Kent decided he was going to grow grass under the tire swing. He put out grass seed and neighbors would stop and say, \u201cKent, you\u2019re one of the faithful, I can tell!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what radically ordinary hospitality looks like. You put your neon green picnic table and your gas grill\u2014see, if I put my gas grill in the front yard, the neighbors would think it was up on the curb and they could have it, right?<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in case our listeners do not know Rosaria Butterfield, she\u2019s an author of a number of books, speaker, pastor\u2019s wife, homeschool mom, has four children, and is the author of a couple of books that have been featured here on <em>FamilyLife Today, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert<\/em> and this one, <em>The Gospel Comes With a House Key<\/em>, and it\u2019s talking about hospitality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What I want to talk about is the first conversation you had with Kent about how your home was going to be used in a dramatically different way, and when the Supreme Court ruled that marriage could include those of the same sex.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a key point.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was\u00a0 watershed. It really was. But even prior to that\u2014so, Kent and I are both the only believers in our family, until our youngest children came to faith. So when we got married we remember the loneliness of, you know, you\u2019re in church and you\u2019re a family of God, and the benediction is still ringing in your ears, but people are scattering in their bounded groups, and you\u2019re not part of those. So for years we had been a place where the singles would gather or a place where the neighbors would gather. It was just part of what we did to respond to our own loneliness, and also to step into that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But, at any rate, over the course of many years\u2014Kent was a church planter for awhile in Virginia. During that time, we used our home in a radically different way than any of the other neighbors did, and on and on.<\/p>\n<p>But Obergefell, 2015, the Supreme Court decision that didn\u2019t just legalize gay marriage in 50 states\u2014it did do that, but it did something else that Christians don\u2019t quite track with. It instituted a new form of personhood, one that is explicitly anti-biblical. It said that \u201csexual orientation tells me who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, there\u2019s no question that your sexual patterning may very well tell me how you are, but only God can tell you who you are, and because it conflated that, and because at the same time we saw the uprising of this new neo-orthodoxy called gay Christianity\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>6:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014we have a situation where the Gospel is on a collision course with this category of sexual orientation as a category of personhood, a <em>who <\/em>you are, not a <em>how<\/em> you are. It\u2019s like the Gospel isn\u2019t relevant. How could the Gospel be good news if you can\u2019t be who you are? Or, moms and dads who have been faithful, who have raised their children in the church, and their children go off to college and they come back and they say, \u201cI\u2019m a lesbian,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a gay man,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a transgender woman.\u201d These moms and dads feel like, \u201cI don\u2019t even have the right vocabulary.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And then, speaking about vocabulary, all the vocabulary changed! Now you\u2019re allowed to say queer; 20 years ago you couldn\u2019t. There are 60 different sexual identities on Facebook. Even though Genesis 1:27 says that \u201cGod created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>7:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I mean, right here we see that being born male and female is a creation issue, and it comes, we\u2019ll learn later, with ethical and moral responsibilities and constraints and blessings. But it seemed almost overnight after Obergefell something else happened, and these things called SOGI laws appeared everywhere, sexual orientation gender identity laws. Very quickly, everywhere from kindergarten classrooms to the public library, we were told that we had this whole idea of image-bearing wrong, we had this whole idea of personhood wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Now, sexual orientation, we were told, is a true category of personhood, even though actually it\u2019s a 19<sup>th<\/sup>-century invention. I talk about it in a book called <em>Openness Unhindered<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And in terms of being an invention, you\u2019re talking about [how] man has taken away God\u2019s authority to be the Creator, and man has said, \u201cI\u2019m going to redefine this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>8:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. That\u2019s right. So I don\u2019t mean that sexual desires are an invention or that homosexual desires were a category invention, but the idea that sexual orientation is actually who you are and that that is endemic, established, ontological, and ultimately eternal. Well, it\u2019s heresy from a Christian perspective, but it\u2019s also an invention of the 19<sup>th<\/sup> century. But now we live in a world that says, \u201cSexual orientation is truly who you are, but male-female differentiation, your biological sex, that\u2019s actually a matter of psychological preference.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, you know, it\u2019s a very Orwellian world that we\u2019re in. George Orwell was the one who first said that \u201cif you want to create a revolution, change the language and you change the logic.\u201d A fairly liberal theologian named Theo Hobson has said, \u201cYou know that you\u2019re in a revolutionary moment when what was formerly despised is now celebrated, what was formerly celebrated is now despised\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>9:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u2014and those who refuse to celebrate are despised.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, almost overnight, Obergefell put us into a very clear place where are now in post Christianity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what does this have to do with moving your picnic table to the front yard and your grill out there?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it has a lot to do with that, because in this particular world you care about your neighbors, you want them to know Jesus, but inviting them to church is not how that happens. Your relationships have to be strong, stronger than they have ever been before. You need to make yourself a trusted confidante. You might say, \u201cWell, who gave me that job, Rosaria? I don\u2019t like that job, and I don\u2019t think that\u2019s my job.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But this is all part of the package of what it means to love the stranger. You know, when you love the stranger, people are going to think you\u2019re strange. So I\u2019m not surprised that even other Christians might think that this is very strange.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I would say this, too\u2014and I want to say this very gently; I don\u2019t mean this to come across in a harsh way, and again, there are seasons of life when we have practiced a kind of radical form of hospitality, seasons of life when we didn\u2019t. When my mother was dying, at a certain point, at home, we were not having 20 people over. That would have been obscene. So there\u2019s a certain ebb and flow to that, and one must be responsible to your family. That subsidization is an important part of being a responsible head of household and a responsible mom and dad.<\/p>\n<p>But what I would say is this: if you think this is a post-Christian world and you\u2019re upset that the world has changed almost overnight, you don\u2019t like what\u2019s happening; and when you wonder, \u201cHow did people like Rosaria come to faith, or not just Rosaria, others? How did the radically converted come to faith?\u201d You hear that in almost all of our cases it was some kind of radical hospitality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>11:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It was some faithful, unnamed, unknown\u2014I mean, named to us, but not famous people. These are not people with a million Twitter followers or whatever that means, you know; just your average Christian opening her home, opening his home, teaching you how to play cards, praying for you, serving you, teaching you how to apply faith to the facts of your life. When you hear over and over and over again, \u201cThat\u2019s how the radically converted came to faith,\u201d then you as listener need to think about it.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, it\u2019s hard to change your practices. I know that. I was in the gay community once. So, practicing radically ordinary hospitality, actually obeying the Bible\u2019s commands to love the stranger, it\u2019s inconvenient and it\u2019s expensive, but if we don\u2019t like the way the world is going\u2014and I want to say this gently, but I need to say it\u2014Christians need to put up or shut up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>12:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We have to do something differently or we need to accept that we will soon be\u2014and maybe sooner than you think\u2014living like the first century church in Rome.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And can we just say that shouting the truth louder than we\u2019d been shouting it is probably not going to be an effective tactic?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, because we\u2019re polarized. No, no, no. We need relationships that break down polarization. So no, the careless use of\u2014and the careless sinning of both self-promotion and gossip that has described Christian behavior on social media\u2014please don\u2019t ask God to bless that. God doesn\u2019t bless sin. He does something else with sin; He\u2019s paid for it, so now you repent of it. But no, building relationships means having conversations with people that are off the record, and it means caring tenderly and gently for your neighbors who come to faith.<\/p>\n<p><strong>13:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You know, when I came to faith, I can imagine that there are some pastors who might have wanted to exploit that, but Ken Smith just wanted to give glory to God. It\u2019s God\u2019s work.<\/p>\n<p>So those are important things. Hospitality transforms the identity of the stranger into neighbor into family of God.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, let me ask you how we handle this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We get to know a neighbor, and here\u2019s what we find out: first of all, their politics are completely different than ours.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They watch channels we have blocked, right, on our TV.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mm-hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re saying not just politics, their values?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, their values are completely different than ours, and they have a history that\u2019s pretty dark and I\u2019m not sure I want my kids to hear about what they\u2019ve been around.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And maybe their language is different.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly, yes. So, I\u2019m going to invite them over for dinner? I just don\u2019t see how this is going to go well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>14:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, before you\u2019ve invited them to dinner, probably you as a family have been practicing family devotions, and probably you as a family have been reading through the Bible. There\u2019s not one thing out there that hasn\u2019t already been talked about as a family.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, it depends on how you talk about these things, but I know that in our case, when we would go through family devotions\u2014I mean, long before my children knew what lesbian meant or atheist meant or any that, they knew what mom meant, and they knew that \u201cMom was this, and now she\u2019s that.\u201d They knew that that\u2019s why Jesus is in the business of doing what he does. Those were the conversations that we knew.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I would say that maybe your neighbors have more reason to fear you than you have to fear them. Have you thought about that? Maybe your politics and your theology and your language and your faith\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>15:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014will provide more of a challenge, more of a life crisis, for your neighbors than they will for you.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what happens when Jesus gets ahold of somebody: the Gospel comes in exchange of the life you once lived, not in addition to it. Alright, so you have neighbors over, they use bad language. They go home, you say to the kids, \u201cWe never want to hear you say that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, you know, you actually have the Holy Spirit, you have the protection of the Lord, you have His providential care. But what makes you think your neighbors are going to want to have your company? Sometimes inviting people over for dinner can be very intimate, and people don\u2019t know what to expect, they don\u2019t know what you\u2019re going to say, they\u2019re going to feel trapped, they don\u2019t know where the door is; but doing things like openly inviting everyone to a block party. And you know why you\u2019re there? Because you all live on November drive, or whatever.<\/p>\n<p><strong>16:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, making it a little bit more open-ended like that, making sure that the children are included, being prayerful, praying your way through that neighborhood, starting there.<\/p>\n<p>I talked a little bit before about how important it is to have open invitations, because people who live in unsafe circumstances or people who live with addictions, they just don\u2019t know if they\u2019re going to be sober or safe three Tuesdays from yesterday, but if it\u2019s Thursday night and that\u2019s the night that the block party happens\u2014and do what you do. Don\u2019t think that your Christian faith is going to be transferred by osmosis.<\/p>\n<p>We invite people over, and my husband says, \u201cWell, look! My hot dogs\u2026\u201d You know, \u201cThese are my hot dogs, so I\u2019m going to bless the food.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. Do you do family devotions with the pagan neighbors there?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we do. Absolutely, we do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, how do you say to the pagan neighbors, \u201cSo, we\u2019re going to do a little Bible reading now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 It happens pretty smoothly. What happens after dinner is the children collect all the dishes\u2014and we have two large tables that we string together.<\/p>\n<p><strong>17:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We use the family room and the dining room for the basic eating area, and so\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, generally, how many people are we talking about here?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have anywhere from one guest to 15 on any given night. The big nights, for us, are Thursday nights and the Lord\u2019s Day. Our idea of keeping the Lord\u2019s day holy is making sure that the church has a place to gather, and that often brings neighbors in as well.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve been doing this for awhile, so people know that there\u2019s a bit of a routine. It\u2019s not like we\u2019re unknown to our neighbors. But we pass the plates, and, you know, the plates go one direction and the Bibles and the coffee mugs go another direction. We just say to people; we say, \u201cWell, this is our time of family devotions, and by that we mean that we\u2019re going to read a passage of Scripture and we\u2019re going to talk about it and we\u2019re going to share prayer requests and we\u2019re going to go before God and pray. Would you like to join us?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And do they mostly say yes?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 They mostly say yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>18:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are there some who have said, \u201cWe need to go now\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. Absolutely. But, you know what, that\u2019s fine, too, and people often have very good reasons for going. It\u2019s not necessarily that they think\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they\u2019re hostile.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they\u2019re hostile. But because we do this literally every night\u2014this isn\u2019t something done as a show for the unbelievers at the table, it isn\u2019t something that we do when it\u2019s convenient; it\u2019s an every night thing. Table fellowship is an intimate thing.<\/p>\n<p>And I talked about the front yard. So, sometimes it\u2019s hard to get from the front yard inside, but winter is a great opportunity. You know a great way to get inside? It\u2019s cold out there, it\u2019s raining out there!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and holidays are really a great open door opportunity, aren\u2019t they?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, especially holidays and crises. We\u2019ve made a ministry out of inviting everyone in the neighborhood over for holidays and crises. I don\u2019t think Christians realize how lonely certain holidays are.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. I believe you\u2019re right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>19:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Certain holidays say to the world, \u201cIf you don\u2019t have anybody to spend this day with, you are a loser.\u201d So for us, we\u2019ve always had an open house on Christmas. That is not a family day for us. I know that\u2019s going to push a lot of buttons, but that just isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Over the years of being of foster parents, we learned the danger of setting apart a day of sort of excessive gift-giving\u2014and I\u2019m not opposed to gifts. I\u2019m not making an anti\u2014people have different positions on how to manage extrabiblical days. So, you do whatever you do, but realize that it\u2019s a day of profound loneliness for people who might not have a special person.<\/p>\n<p>You know, let\u2019s realize that if you are a member of a church, you have a special person; you have many special people. You have all these people called brothers and sisters.<\/p>\n<p><strong>20:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There shouldn\u2019t be a question about where you spend those days.<\/p>\n<p>But it\u2019s also true for the neighborhood, and you also find out, if you do an open invitation on Christmas, you\u2019re going to find out what older people in your neighborhood are shut in, and that\u2019s amazing. You will be blessed by those older people, and who more need to have the gospel than people at the end of their lives? I mean, people who are standing at the edge of eternity, and they might be 20 feet from you, and you don\u2019t know it because you\u2019re busy, right? That doesn\u2019t make sense to me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Rosaria, I\u2019ve just thought about your book and this time we\u2019ve spent this week. I accused you of being a disrupter earlier.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 You did. You did. I felt it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to apologize for that, because it really is the truth, but you\u2019re going to change the way people think about their meals. You\u2019re going to get them thinking differently about their home. Instead of it being just a physical facility, you\u2019re going to challenge them to think about it being an embassy, a place\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>21:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014where you are an ambassador of the King of kings.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rosaria:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and the thing I think is so helpful here is [that] you are giving us a strategy that I think feels warm. It doesn\u2019t feel clumsy or awkward, it doesn\u2019t feel like this is something we\u2019re doing that is obnoxious or off-putting to our neighbors. Inviting people in and demonstrating hospitality is a warm thing to do, and that\u2019s going to open doors and hearts and conversations, and it\u2019s going to allow for interaction around the Gospel, and we should all have a heart for that.<\/p>\n<p>I hope our listeners will get a copy of your book. It\u2019s called <em>The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World<\/em>. You can order a copy of the book from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to order.<\/p>\n<p><strong>22:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com, or call us at 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I haven\u2019t checked this week to find out if your book <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, the book you and Barbara have just finished writing, if that book has arrived yet or not. We\u2019ve been looking for it pretty regularly, because we want to get copies of this book out to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. In fact, this month we\u2019re making the book available to any listener who can support the ministry of FamilyLife with a donation of any amount.<\/p>\n<p>You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ll get the book out to you as soon as it comes from the publisher. In addition, during the month of August your donation is going to be doubled. Whatever you\u2019re able to give is going to be matched dollar for dollar with money from a matching grant fund that has been provided to FamilyLife by some friends of this ministry.<\/p>\n<p><strong>23:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, your donation is doubled and you get a copy of Dennis and Barbara\u2019s brand new book when you make a donation this month.<\/p>\n<p>So, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to donate, or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make your donation. Thanks in advance for what you\u2019re able to do in support of this ministry; we appreciate hearing from you.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, if you have any questions about Dennis and Barbara\u2019s new book or FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>video series, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> online course, the movie \u201cLike Arrows\u201d that\u2019s now available for churches to use for special screenings; all of that information is available online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and we\u2019re excited about how God is going to be using the book and the video series and all of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> content in the weeks and months ahead.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I was thinking about the subject of hospitality. You could have a potluck supper over at your house, watch session one from <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, and see if your neighbors want to come back for session two in another week or two. That\u2019s a great way to open up your home for a little radically ordinary hospitality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>24:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Again, more information about <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> is available online at FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about how we should be thinking and interacting with friends and neighbors on the subject of human sexuality in a world where the cultural view and the biblical view are at odds with one another. Julie Slattery will join us to talk about how we rethink sexuality, and I hope you can be with us for that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300343"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300343"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300343"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300343"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}