{"id":300333,"date":"2018-08-15T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-08-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/recovery\/"},"modified":"2025-05-06T12:41:27","modified_gmt":"2025-05-06T16:41:27","slug":"recovery","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/recovery\/","title":{"rendered":"Recovery"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When Jonathan Daugherty found the love of his life. he believed his struggle with porn was finally over. And it was, for a while. Daugherty tells how the pressures of marriage started to weigh on him, and how he raced back to the habits he had kept secret. This time he started acting out sexually with strangers, and his wife found out. Daugherty tells what finally led him to lasting repentance and reconciliation with his wife.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Jonathan Daugherty got married, he believed his struggle with porn was over. And it was, for a while. Daugherty tells what finally led him to lasting repentance and reconciliation with his wife.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-15.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"29.42M","filesize_raw":"30849717","date_recorded":"2018-08-15 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2840,2826,2844],"tags":[2872,4497,4498,4083,2989,2487],"podcast_series":[7238],"cwp_profile":[8847],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300333","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-men","category-pornography","tag-addiction","tag-coming-clean","tag-confession","tag-effects-of-pornography","tag-pornography","tag-sexual-addiction","podcast_series-secrets","cwp_profile-jonathan-daugherty","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300333\/recovery","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300333\/recovery","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"8eZzzQ8Qq8\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/recovery\/\">Recovery<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/recovery\/embed\/#?secret=8eZzzQ8Qq8\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Recovery&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"8eZzzQ8Qq8\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-15.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-15.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jonathan Daugherty says when a marriage has been ruined from pornography and infidelity, it\u2019s possible for a husband and wife to get to a point of reconciliation\u2014but on the husband\u2019s part, that\u2019s going to require more than confession.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>You can\u2019t just confess and think the fact of stating whatever you\u2019ve done\u2014even if you\u2019re quote-unquote \u201csorry,\u201d\u2014actually changes the heart. I really believe the thing that begins to turn the heart is what the Bible calls \u201crepentance\u201d\u2014that godly sorrow\u2014that ache. Like David said, when he said, \u201cAgainst You and You only, God, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was not the case in that confession. That\u2019s how less than a week later\u2014I can be out with somebody else and my wife find that\u2014and then decide it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What does it take for reconciliation to happen in a marriage relationship\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>1:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014after there\u2019s been profound sexual sin? We\u2019re going to talk about that today with Jonathan Daugherty. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.<\/p>\n<p>You have to wonder how many marriages today are starting with husbands and wives keeping secrets from one another about their sexual past\u2014or about their sexual present\u2014as they enter into the marriage relationship.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. If there have been sixty million abortions, there are a lot of marriages that are taking place today where both the man and the woman have been party to an abortion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0And that is something they bring into the marriage.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re talking not about that aspect of sex today, but we are talking about pornography.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We have a gentleman who is the founder of Be Broken Ministries\u2014a ministry to men\u2014helping them overcome addictions to porn. Jonathan Daugherty joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Jonathan, welcome back.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Thanks. It\u2019s so good to be here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Jonathan is married to Elaine since 1995. He has three teenagers\u2014so you\u2019re in the thick of this right now!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Boy? Girl? How many?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Two girls and a boy in the middle.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0There you go. He has written a book called <em>Secrets<\/em><strong><em>: <\/em><\/strong><em>A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity, and Second Chances. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve talked about how Jonathan was exposed to pornography as a twelve-year-old boy by a buddy who just took him out in a field and pulled a magazine out of a stump. Jonathan had never heard of pornography or seen pornography, and that sent an electric jolt through his body that set him off on a quest to satisfy his need for pornography\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>3:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014that continued all the way through his teen years, and into college, and beyond. Well into his marriage to Elaine\u2014when he started his relationship with her.<\/p>\n<p>I want to talk to you about your relationship with Elaine. She\u2019s watching you express this anger\u2014she doesn\u2019t know about the pornography addiction. Was there an incident that caused you to want to come clean with her? What\u2014ultimately\u2014sent you to the edge of the cliff, where you knew you had to bring her into the interior of your life?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>When we were married for about a year-and-a-half, I ended up packing everything up into my little Ford Escort and leaving. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m just going to go away.\u201d So I drove halfway across the country, crashed at a buddy\u2019s house, and stayed there for about three weeks. My wife had no idea what was going on!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Wait a second!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I mean\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0You just left?!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I just left.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you mad?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I\u2019m sure I was.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Did you tell her you were leaving?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I just basically said, \u201cI\u2019m outta here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>4:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t give her a reason\u2014I didn\u2019t give her context. It was like\u2014one day I just decided, \u201cI\u2019m gone!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Had you ever threatened divorce?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>No.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Had she?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>No, but things were definitely not good. So I took off halfway across the country, stayed at this buddy\u2019s house and, eventually\u2014that didn\u2019t go well\u2014because running away from the problem doesn\u2019t make the problem go away.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things that we tell guys all the time\u2014and I learned this the hard way\u2014is that there really is only one person that you\u2019re ever guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>That\u2019s yourself. So if you have problems\u2014if you have\u2014like I\u2019ve mentioned in previous broadcasts\u2014this emotional deficiency\u2014this real stuntedness\u2014this anger issue\u2014all of these things are contained within <em>me. <\/em>Guess what? Wherever I go, it\u2019s going to come with me! I kept trying to externalize all of those issues<strong>: <\/strong>\u201cIt\u2019s my wife\u2019s fault!\u201d Or even trying to say, \u201cIt\u2019s pornography\u2019s fault,\u201d or even, \u201cIt\u2019s God\u2019s fault!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>5:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I had to finally realize, \u201cNo, it\u2019s my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing<strong>: <\/strong>I came back from that, and we sort of put a few Band-Aid patches on that. My wife\u2014being incredibly gracious\u2014said, \u201cOkay, he\u2019s back! I really want to try to make something work.\u201d We went to a few counseling sessions\u2014but I never fully divulged or fully confessed. Certainly, there was no sense of deep repentance, or the idea of what the Bible calls \u201cgodly sorrow.\u201d Certainly\u2014in just a matter of time\u2014things started coming back again. I started getting into my old habits.<\/p>\n<p>The precipitating event for me actually\u2014finally\u2014hitting rock-bottom was about four years into my marriage. One Saturday morning, I went out for a hook-up. My wife was in the shower, and when she got out of the shower, she must have found a piece of paper with a name and a number on it. She actually found out what I was doing, and when I came home from that, she was like, \u201cI\u2019m done. I don\u2019t want to ever see you or speak to you ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>6:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Then, she left.<\/p>\n<p>That was actually the event that rocked me. The reason that that rocked me was because I never thought she\u2019d leave. Now, there\u2019s crazy, and then there\u2019s crazy! I was really\u2014literally\u2014going crazy. How could I not think that\u2014at some point\u2014she\u2019s got a last line that, if I cross it, she\u2019s gone?<\/p>\n<p>I like to tell guys all the time that every woman has a last line. In my case, having been in ministry for many years, I realize that my wife\u2019s line was actually a lot further down the line than some wives. A lot of wives wouldn\u2019t have gone as far as my wife did before she finally left.<\/p>\n<p>I failed to mention that I had confessed to her less than a week before that last encounter\u2014I confessed everything to her.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>So\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You confessed\u2014not just looking at porn\u2014but the fact that you\u2019d had liaisons.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Everything. Prostitutes\u2014affairs\u2014all kinds of stuff.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>What happened in that confession?<\/p>\n<p><strong>7:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I mean that\u2019s a pretty big load to drop on your wife, who knew nothing about any of it!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes\u2014she didn\u2019t know. Certainly, she had hints about their being porn and some of those kinds of things, but she didn\u2019t know anything of the fullness of what was going on.<\/p>\n<p>She withered during that confession. You can only imagine! I mean\u2014how could she not? She was having\u2014basically\u2014just tons and tons of garbage dumped on her. The strange thing\u2014for me\u2014is that once I finally confessed everything, I felt better.<\/p>\n<p>Now it sounds terrible! It sounds like, \u201cWhat a terrible thing!\u201d\u2014but I was experiencing something in that confession that I think is a Biblical truth. That is, there is a lightness to not having any secrets\u2014a lightness to not having anything in the dark.<\/p>\n<p>The problem was\u2014I misinterpreted that feeling to thinking, \u201cOh, confession is all that\u2019s necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0You didn\u2019t consider what it would do to her?<\/p>\n<p><strong>8:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Not only did I not consider what it would do to her, I didn\u2019t consider what must come <em>next.<\/em> The thing that has to come next is there has to be godly sorrow. You can\u2019t just confess and think the fact of stating whatever you\u2019ve done\u2014even if you\u2019re quote-unquote \u201csorry,\u201d\u2014actually changes the heart.<\/p>\n<p>I really believe the thing that begins to turn the heart is what the Bible calls \u201crepentance\u201d\u2014that godly sorrow\u2014that ache. Like David said, when he said, \u201cAgainst You and You only, God, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.\u201d Not making excuses about all of the things that could be going on around.<\/p>\n<p>That was not the case in that confession. That\u2019s how less than a week later\u2014I can be out with somebody else and my wife find that\u2014and then decide it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jonathan, what prompted the confession in the first place?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Getting very close to completion of suicide. There had been a couple of instances before that moment where I had sat on the end of my bed with a loaded gun in my hand, thinking of one good reason not to pull the trigger. I was in deep depression.<\/p>\n<p><strong>9:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think there was a part of me that didn\u2019t want to die\u2014but I didn\u2019t know of any other way to handle what was going on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You said you came right up to the edge of suicide\u2014sitting there on the bed with a loaded gun\u2014and didn\u2019t pull the trigger.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t pull the trigger. Here\u2019s the reason why<strong>: <\/strong>I had actually trusted Christ as my Savior when I was a six year-old boy. Now, don\u2019t make the connection there thinking that Christians can\u2019t commit suicide\u2014I\u2019m not saying that. What I am saying is that\u2014when I had that gun against my head those couple of times\u2014all these thoughts were rattling through my head very loudly. All the thoughts of shame\u2014all the thoughts of anger\u2014all the thoughts of fear and doubt\u2014and all of those kinds of things\u2014but there was always this little, tiny whisper that was always\u2014just kind of nagging in the back. It was a gentle, soft whisper. It wasn\u2019t projected. It was just this soft whisper of one word:\u00a0\u201cMaybe.\u201d Maybe.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m convinced, to this day, that was simply the Holy Spirit, just putting that out there that there<em> might <\/em>be a way out.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>There might be another path to take here. I think that\u2019s what just convinced me:\u201cOkay, I\u2019m not going to go through with this.\u201d But when my wife left\u2014that was the thing that caused me to realize, \u201cThis is beyond my ability to spin the plates. I can\u2019t keep all of the secrets going on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I went back into the house after my wife drove off and, as I was sitting there, I realized I had to make a decision. The decision was one of two choices\u2014I could keep doing what I was doing, but I knew I would be dead\u2014or I could repent and return to the God who saved me when I was six years old.<\/p>\n<p>I remember\u2026when God reminded me of how He saved me as a little boy, the reason that impacted me so much in that moment of desperation so many years later, was that was the moment when I realized God doesn\u2019t exist in time as we do\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>11:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014it\u2019s not linear to Him. I felt like that was God saying, \u201cI knew beforehand\u2014before you brought all of this garbage and filth and waste into your life\u2014I knew that was coming into your life, and I still chose you and still wanted you in My family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I recognized that, I hit the floor and started sobbing my eyes out, and just really experienced the grace of God in a way that I never had before. I just heard the Lord speaking to me, \u201cI know. I know. I know.\u201d\u2014over and over and over again\u2014deep into my soul. That\u2019s when I really feel like I got a new\u2014not only new understanding\u2014but a new <em>experience<\/em> of the grace of God. He was willing to meet me in that moment and say nothing of condemnation\u2014nothing of, \u201cLet\u2019s hammer you over the head with the Bible right now,\u201d\u2014but just comfort and presence.<\/p>\n<p>That is the foundation upon which the rest of my life has been built\u2014is that grace.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And the \u201cmaybe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The \u201cmaybe\u201d became a reality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>12:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To that person who\u2019s listening to us right now, who may not have a gun, and maybe it\u2019s not pornography addiction\u2014maybe it\u2019s an affair\u2014maybe it\u2019s drug\/alcohol abuse\u2014what would you say to that person right now?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I would say that we have a wonderful, wonderful God, who will meet you wherever you are. If you\u2019re on the floor; if you\u2019re in your car; if you are at the end of your rope\u2014I can tell you that the grace of God will go <em>anywhere<\/em> and extend beyond <em>anything<\/em> you have ever done\u2014in order to call you back into a place of stability and strength and hope. I would say the key thing\u2014for me\u2014that I would want to share with somebody else is that the motivation I had getting up off that floor was to no longer do life alone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>13:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What I mean is no longer do life in the shadows.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>What I would say to that person out there is\u2014absolutely ask God for a moment of brokenness. Ask God for your heart to be broken over that, and have that intimate moment with God, but may He change your heart to no longer want to do life in the shadows\u2014no longer want to do life in the dark. Actually step out into the light\u2014get with some safe people\u2014to begin journeying toward healing and growth.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the way it manifested in life\u2014it was not an instant cure. I still battled; still struggled; still had these kinds of things. For me, it was about getting plugged in with a counselor. I got in with a support group and some guys that I could start putting around my life and start sharing my story with these guys, so that we could actually start doing life together.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when I realized\u2014God did hear me\u2014God did care\u2014God did have power.<\/p>\n<p><strong>14:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My problem was that I was trying to get all of that outside the context that He really built it to thrive in, because community is where He built all of that to thrive\u2014He built our life to thrive in community. I\u2019m not saying that God can\u2019t or won\u2019t deal with a person\u2014maybe powerfully, in the dark\u2014so to speak. But He won\u2019t do that without drawing them out into the light eventually.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0What have you found to be especially helpful as you coach men to deal with this with their wives\u2014because they typically don\u2019t understand how this devastates a woman?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes, so clearly, one of the things is just\u2014no more secrets\u2014we can\u2019t be doing life in the dark anymore. Now the way that looks\u2014especially when you\u2019re talking about, maybe, confession\u2014is we often tell husbands who are needing to confess to their wives that it\u2019s important to have full disclosure\u2014but that doesn\u2019t necessarily mean graphic detail.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>But we do say\u2014one of the things that I tell husbands all of the time is, \u201cThe key characteristic to work on is humility.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>15:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you want to understand what a man of integrity looks like\u2014in all areas of his life, not just sexuality\u2014he is a man who has humility as the central characteristic of his life. In other words, he\u2019s not going to be one who\u2019s boastful and proud and puffing himself up. That humility is going to manifest itself in how he offers his strength to his wife.<\/p>\n<p>Now at first, the wife may not be receptive at all to any kind of strength he can offer\u2014because all he\u2019s offered to this point is weakness\u2014all he\u2019s offered at this point is his failures and his sin\u2014but over time, as he begins to rebuild trust through humility\u2014because humility is going to be incredibly different from how he has engaged her before. He has probably engaged her in anger, control, manipulation, and those types of things to get a particular outcome. When he begins to adopt a humble heart, all of the sudden, she sees a different man emerge. \u201cHere\u2019s a guy who tells the truth. Here\u2019s a guy who doesn\u2019t hide it from me anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>16:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Practically speaking, unpack how you rebuilt trust with Elaine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>We were actually separated for nine months, first of all. We didn\u2019t even see each other for seven of those months because she said, \u201cI\u2019m out of here!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So for me\u2014at the beginning\u2014all it meant was, \u201cI\u2019m going to work on becoming the best man I can be,\u201d\u2014because again, I\u2019ve got to live with me for the rest of my life, regardless of what happens to my marriage. That\u2019s what I would tell husbands at first\u2014you might be trying to do anything you can to try to appease your wife, and give her whatever she wants, and all of these kinds of things, but recognize that, at some point, you\u2019re going to have to be dedicated to your personal character, regardless of how your wife responds\u2014regardless if she is amenable to reconciliation or whatever else.<\/p>\n<p>When we did finally get back together, what this looked like\u2014practically\u2014was that I was accountable for my time and money with my wife\u2014every minute of my day\u2014I wanted her to know exactly what I was doing and where I was going.<\/p>\n<p><strong>17:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The key to this was\u2014I initiated all of these things. We want to take that burden off of the wife, where she feels like she\u2019s got to be a cop, or be a mom\u2014she just needs to be a wife. We need to\u2014as husbands\u2014be the ones that say, \u201cI\u2019m taking full responsibility for my character and how I\u2019m also going to be accountable to you on some of these things.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, seven months after she has walked out and you\u2019ve had no contact, did you just call her one day and say, \u201cI want to try again?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s interesting\u2014the call that we actually had was purely logistical\u2014we had to deal with some financial something\u2014I don\u2019t even remember what it was. In that conversation, it just started to kind of morph into, \u201cWhat\u2019s been going on with you? What are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, during our entire nine months of separation, I wrote my wife a letter every day. Honestly, she says that for about the first month, she just threw them all away. She didn\u2019t even open them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>18:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But eventually, she started opening these, and started seeing that there was a different person emerging here\u2014so that seven-month conversation was one of those where we both kind of had the \u201cmaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think we were both starting to hear the \u201cmaybe.\u201d Now I have to say that when we started\u2026a little bit of dating, just going\u2026really, really light stuff, like, \u201cLet\u2019s just go have coffee for 30 minutes and see how it goes,\u201d kind of a thing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think we were both getting the sense that God was doing something special here. But I have to say\u2014I need to give such an incredible amount of honor and props to my wife\u2014because when you think about the pressure that a woman in that situation has\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>\u2014to even <em>consider<\/em> reconciliation\u2014I think we need to celebrate and lift high those women who are willing to step into that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes! I agree.<\/p>\n<p><strong>19:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So what\u2019s the trust factor now?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, the cool thing about it is, about five years after we got back together, I got to hear these beautiful words from my wife\u2014\u201cI trust you completely.\u201d They were beautiful words, because they don\u2019t come without real work and real focus. The thing is\u2014it\u2019s not something that I take lightly\u2014even to this day. It\u2019s not as if, \u201cOkay, I worked hard for five years. I got that, and now I\u2019m going to be sloppy as a man.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No! We want to continue to build character. One of the things I\u2019ve learned\u2014even 18 years later\u2014is there are <em>always<\/em> more opportunities to serve my wife\u2014there are <em>always<\/em> more opportunities to connect with my wife\u2014there are <em>always<\/em> more opportunities to earn her trust even more. It\u2019s not about trying to reach a destination in time in your relationship or in life\u2014it\u2019s about a journey over a lifetime.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0To that man who\u2019s listening to us right now, and is going, \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about!\u201d I would say, grab your wife\u2019s hand!<\/p>\n<p><strong>20:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Take her to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaway\u2014and maybe get a copy of Jonathan\u2019s book, <em>Secrets<\/em>. Just ask God to begin to peel the layers of your heart like an onion\u2014and bring you and your spouse into an authentic relationship\u2014where it is the adventure of a lifetime.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jonathan, I appreciate your authenticity in allowing us to step into your journey\u2014your story. Thanks for being on the broadcast. I hope you\u2019ll come back and join us again sometime.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, thank you, sir. Again, my pleasure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and I hope we\u2019ve got a lot of listeners who are going to listen to your podcast as a result of hearing you on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014guys who are in this battle and trying to get free.<\/p>\n<p>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link to Jonathan\u2019s podcast available there\u2014and a link to his website if you want more information about his ministry. You can order his book, <em>Secrets<\/em>, from us here at <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call to order<strong>: <\/strong>1-800-FL-TODAY is our number.<\/p>\n<p><strong>21:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Again, the book is called <em>Secrets<\/em><strong><em>: <\/em><\/strong><em>A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity, and Second Chances. <\/em>Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Of course, if you want information about the upcoming fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, we\u2019re going to be in about three dozen cities this fall with the getaway.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m going to be speaking up in Portland, Oregon. I\u2019m looking forward to going to Portland for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. To find out more about when a getaway is happening in a city near where you live, go to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and ask about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>You know, this issue we\u2019ve been talking about today\u2014I\u2019m just so aware of how many men in our culture today are impacted by this. How many young men, growing up, are being assaulted with pornography, which is so easy and so accessible.<\/p>\n<p><strong>22:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s happening without moms and dads knowing anything about it. Where do you find help and hope? Here at <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>our goal is to provide you with programs like this; with resources that we\u2019ve got online. We want to help effectively develop your marriage and your family to be a godly marriage and a godly family. We believe those kinds of marriages and families can change the world one home at a time.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re grateful for those of you who partner with us to reach more people more regularly with practical, Biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family. Those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners and those of you who will donate from time-to-time,\u00a0 thank you for your support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and all we\u2019re able to do together.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, a couple things are going to happen. First of all, your donation is going to be doubled. We\u2019ve had some friends who have put together a matching gift\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>23:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014and every donation we receive during the month of August is being matched dollar-for-dollar, up to a total of $500,000. So if you make a $25 donation today, it\u2019s worth $50 to us here at <em>FamilyLife<\/em>\u00ae. Along with that, when you donate, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>The Art of Parenting, <\/em>as soon as it arrives from the publisher. We expect it any time now. You\u2019ll be first to get your copy of the book\u2014and it\u2019s our thank you gift to you for your support of this ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122 is something that we\u2019re focused on here at <em>FamilyLife<\/em>. A lot of churches are starting <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> small groups this fall using our video series. A lot of churches are using the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, to kick off those parenting small groups, and that movie is now available for churches to show.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s more information about all of that online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, we just want to say thank you for those of you who partner with us to make all of this possible. You can donate to support this ministry online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you can call to donate.<\/p>\n<p><strong>24:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1-800-FL-TODAY is our number, and we appreciate whatever you\u2019re able to do in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>We hope you can join us back tomorrow. Brooke McLaughlin is going to be here to talk about what it looks like when your parenting is gospel-centered. What does that even mean? Brooke will explain that tomorrow, and I hope you can join us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. A Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":["<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bebroken.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Be Broken Ministries<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.puresexradio.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Pure Sex Radio Podcast<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n"],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["29.42M"],"filesize_raw":["30849717"],"_edit_lock":["1746549693:47000"],"_g_feedback_shortcode_23a40abe02c375ed74e977be4201002bcf7c8860":["\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Name\" type=\"name\"  required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Email\" type=\"email\" required=\"true\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Website\" type=\"url\" \/]\n\t\t\t\t[contact-field label=\"Message\" type=\"textarea\" 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Jonathan Daugherty got married, he believed his struggle with porn was over. And it was, for a while. Daugherty tells what finally led him to lasting repentance and reconciliation with his wife.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bebroken.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Be Broken Ministries<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.puresexradio.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Pure Sex Radio Podcast<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-08-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jonathan Daugherty says when a marriage has been ruined from pornography and infidelity, it\u2019s possible for a husband and wife to get to a point of reconciliation\u2014but on the husband\u2019s part, that\u2019s going to require more than confession.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>You can\u2019t just confess and think the fact of stating whatever you\u2019ve done\u2014even if you\u2019re quote-unquote \u201csorry,\u201d\u2014actually changes the heart. I really believe the thing that begins to turn the heart is what the Bible calls \u201crepentance\u201d\u2014that godly sorrow\u2014that ache. Like David said, when he said, \u201cAgainst You and You only, God, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was not the case in that confession. That\u2019s how less than a week later\u2014I can be out with somebody else and my wife find that\u2014and then decide it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. What does it take for reconciliation to happen in a marriage relationship\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>1:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014after there\u2019s been profound sexual sin? We\u2019re going to talk about that today with Jonathan Daugherty. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.<\/p>\n<p>You have to wonder how many marriages today are starting with husbands and wives keeping secrets from one another about their sexual past\u2014or about their sexual present\u2014as they enter into the marriage relationship.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. If there have been sixty million abortions, there are a lot of marriages that are taking place today where both the man and the woman have been party to an abortion.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0And that is something they bring into the marriage.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re talking not about that aspect of sex today, but we are talking about pornography.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We have a gentleman who is the founder of Be Broken Ministries\u2014a ministry to men\u2014helping them overcome addictions to porn. Jonathan Daugherty joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Jonathan, welcome back.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Thanks. It\u2019s so good to be here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Jonathan is married to Elaine since 1995. He has three teenagers\u2014so you\u2019re in the thick of this right now!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Boy? Girl? How many?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Two girls and a boy in the middle.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0There you go. He has written a book called <em>Secrets<\/em><strong><em>: <\/em><\/strong><em>A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity, and Second Chances. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve talked about how Jonathan was exposed to pornography as a twelve-year-old boy by a buddy who just took him out in a field and pulled a magazine out of a stump. Jonathan had never heard of pornography or seen pornography, and that sent an electric jolt through his body that set him off on a quest to satisfy his need for pornography\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>3:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014that continued all the way through his teen years, and into college, and beyond. Well into his marriage to Elaine\u2014when he started his relationship with her.<\/p>\n<p>I want to talk to you about your relationship with Elaine. She\u2019s watching you express this anger\u2014she doesn\u2019t know about the pornography addiction. Was there an incident that caused you to want to come clean with her? What\u2014ultimately\u2014sent you to the edge of the cliff, where you knew you had to bring her into the interior of your life?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>When we were married for about a year-and-a-half, I ended up packing everything up into my little Ford Escort and leaving. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI\u2019m just going to go away.\u201d So I drove halfway across the country, crashed at a buddy\u2019s house, and stayed there for about three weeks. My wife had no idea what was going on!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Wait a second!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I mean\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0You just left?!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I just left.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you mad?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I\u2019m sure I was.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Did you tell her you were leaving?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I just basically said, \u201cI\u2019m outta here.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>4:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t give her a reason\u2014I didn\u2019t give her context. It was like\u2014one day I just decided, \u201cI\u2019m gone!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Had you ever threatened divorce?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>No.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Had she?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>No, but things were definitely not good. So I took off halfway across the country, stayed at this buddy\u2019s house and, eventually\u2014that didn\u2019t go well\u2014because running away from the problem doesn\u2019t make the problem go away.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things that we tell guys all the time\u2014and I learned this the hard way\u2014is that there really is only one person that you\u2019re ever guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>That\u2019s yourself. So if you have problems\u2014if you have\u2014like I\u2019ve mentioned in previous broadcasts\u2014this emotional deficiency\u2014this real stuntedness\u2014this anger issue\u2014all of these things are contained within <em>me. <\/em>Guess what? Wherever I go, it\u2019s going to come with me! I kept trying to externalize all of those issues<strong>: <\/strong>\u201cIt\u2019s my wife\u2019s fault!\u201d Or even trying to say, \u201cIt\u2019s pornography\u2019s fault,\u201d or even, \u201cIt\u2019s God\u2019s fault!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>5:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I had to finally realize, \u201cNo, it\u2019s my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing<strong>: <\/strong>I came back from that, and we sort of put a few Band-Aid patches on that. My wife\u2014being incredibly gracious\u2014said, \u201cOkay, he\u2019s back! I really want to try to make something work.\u201d We went to a few counseling sessions\u2014but I never fully divulged or fully confessed. Certainly, there was no sense of deep repentance, or the idea of what the Bible calls \u201cgodly sorrow.\u201d Certainly\u2014in just a matter of time\u2014things started coming back again. I started getting into my old habits.<\/p>\n<p>The precipitating event for me actually\u2014finally\u2014hitting rock-bottom was about four years into my marriage. One Saturday morning, I went out for a hook-up. My wife was in the shower, and when she got out of the shower, she must have found a piece of paper with a name and a number on it. She actually found out what I was doing, and when I came home from that, she was like, \u201cI\u2019m done. I don\u2019t want to ever see you or speak to you ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>6:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Then, she left.<\/p>\n<p>That was actually the event that rocked me. The reason that that rocked me was because I never thought she\u2019d leave. Now, there\u2019s crazy, and then there\u2019s crazy! I was really\u2014literally\u2014going crazy. How could I not think that\u2014at some point\u2014she\u2019s got a last line that, if I cross it, she\u2019s gone?<\/p>\n<p>I like to tell guys all the time that every woman has a last line. In my case, having been in ministry for many years, I realize that my wife\u2019s line was actually a lot further down the line than some wives. A lot of wives wouldn\u2019t have gone as far as my wife did before she finally left.<\/p>\n<p>I failed to mention that I had confessed to her less than a week before that last encounter\u2014I confessed everything to her.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>So\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You confessed\u2014not just looking at porn\u2014but the fact that you\u2019d had liaisons.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Everything. Prostitutes\u2014affairs\u2014all kinds of stuff.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>What happened in that confession?<\/p>\n<p><strong>7:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I mean that\u2019s a pretty big load to drop on your wife, who knew nothing about any of it!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes\u2014she didn\u2019t know. Certainly, she had hints about their being porn and some of those kinds of things, but she didn\u2019t know anything of the fullness of what was going on.<\/p>\n<p>She withered during that confession. You can only imagine! I mean\u2014how could she not? She was having\u2014basically\u2014just tons and tons of garbage dumped on her. The strange thing\u2014for me\u2014is that once I finally confessed everything, I felt better.<\/p>\n<p>Now it sounds terrible! It sounds like, \u201cWhat a terrible thing!\u201d\u2014but I was experiencing something in that confession that I think is a Biblical truth. That is, there is a lightness to not having any secrets\u2014a lightness to not having anything in the dark.<\/p>\n<p>The problem was\u2014I misinterpreted that feeling to thinking, \u201cOh, confession is all that\u2019s necessary.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0You didn\u2019t consider what it would do to her?<\/p>\n<p><strong>8:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Not only did I not consider what it would do to her, I didn\u2019t consider what must come <em>next.<\/em> The thing that has to come next is there has to be godly sorrow. You can\u2019t just confess and think the fact of stating whatever you\u2019ve done\u2014even if you\u2019re quote-unquote \u201csorry,\u201d\u2014actually changes the heart.<\/p>\n<p>I really believe the thing that begins to turn the heart is what the Bible calls \u201crepentance\u201d\u2014that godly sorrow\u2014that ache. Like David said, when he said, \u201cAgainst You and You only, God, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.\u201d Not making excuses about all of the things that could be going on around.<\/p>\n<p>That was not the case in that confession. That\u2019s how less than a week later\u2014I can be out with somebody else and my wife find that\u2014and then decide it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jonathan, what prompted the confession in the first place?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Getting very close to completion of suicide. There had been a couple of instances before that moment where I had sat on the end of my bed with a loaded gun in my hand, thinking of one good reason not to pull the trigger. I was in deep depression.<\/p>\n<p><strong>9:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think there was a part of me that didn\u2019t want to die\u2014but I didn\u2019t know of any other way to handle what was going on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You said you came right up to the edge of suicide\u2014sitting there on the bed with a loaded gun\u2014and didn\u2019t pull the trigger.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t pull the trigger. Here\u2019s the reason why<strong>: <\/strong>I had actually trusted Christ as my Savior when I was a six year-old boy. Now, don\u2019t make the connection there thinking that Christians can\u2019t commit suicide\u2014I\u2019m not saying that. What I am saying is that\u2014when I had that gun against my head those couple of times\u2014all these thoughts were rattling through my head very loudly. All the thoughts of shame\u2014all the thoughts of anger\u2014all the thoughts of fear and doubt\u2014and all of those kinds of things\u2014but there was always this little, tiny whisper that was always\u2014just kind of nagging in the back. It was a gentle, soft whisper. It wasn\u2019t projected. It was just this soft whisper of one word:\u00a0\u201cMaybe.\u201d Maybe.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m convinced, to this day, that was simply the Holy Spirit, just putting that out there that there<em> might <\/em>be a way out.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>There might be another path to take here. I think that\u2019s what just convinced me:\u201cOkay, I\u2019m not going to go through with this.\u201d But when my wife left\u2014that was the thing that caused me to realize, \u201cThis is beyond my ability to spin the plates. I can\u2019t keep all of the secrets going on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I went back into the house after my wife drove off and, as I was sitting there, I realized I had to make a decision. The decision was one of two choices\u2014I could keep doing what I was doing, but I knew I would be dead\u2014or I could repent and return to the God who saved me when I was six years old.<\/p>\n<p>I remember\u2026when God reminded me of how He saved me as a little boy, the reason that impacted me so much in that moment of desperation so many years later, was that was the moment when I realized God doesn\u2019t exist in time as we do\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>11:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014it\u2019s not linear to Him. I felt like that was God saying, \u201cI knew beforehand\u2014before you brought all of this garbage and filth and waste into your life\u2014I knew that was coming into your life, and I still chose you and still wanted you in My family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I recognized that, I hit the floor and started sobbing my eyes out, and just really experienced the grace of God in a way that I never had before. I just heard the Lord speaking to me, \u201cI know. I know. I know.\u201d\u2014over and over and over again\u2014deep into my soul. That\u2019s when I really feel like I got a new\u2014not only new understanding\u2014but a new <em>experience<\/em> of the grace of God. He was willing to meet me in that moment and say nothing of condemnation\u2014nothing of, \u201cLet\u2019s hammer you over the head with the Bible right now,\u201d\u2014but just comfort and presence.<\/p>\n<p>That is the foundation upon which the rest of my life has been built\u2014is that grace.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And the \u201cmaybe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The \u201cmaybe\u201d became a reality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>12:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To that person who\u2019s listening to us right now, who may not have a gun, and maybe it\u2019s not pornography addiction\u2014maybe it\u2019s an affair\u2014maybe it\u2019s drug\/alcohol abuse\u2014what would you say to that person right now?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I would say that we have a wonderful, wonderful God, who will meet you wherever you are. If you\u2019re on the floor; if you\u2019re in your car; if you are at the end of your rope\u2014I can tell you that the grace of God will go <em>anywhere<\/em> and extend beyond <em>anything<\/em> you have ever done\u2014in order to call you back into a place of stability and strength and hope. I would say the key thing\u2014for me\u2014that I would want to share with somebody else is that the motivation I had getting up off that floor was to no longer do life alone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>13:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What I mean is no longer do life in the shadows.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>What I would say to that person out there is\u2014absolutely ask God for a moment of brokenness. Ask God for your heart to be broken over that, and have that intimate moment with God, but may He change your heart to no longer want to do life in the shadows\u2014no longer want to do life in the dark. Actually step out into the light\u2014get with some safe people\u2014to begin journeying toward healing and growth.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the way it manifested in life\u2014it was not an instant cure. I still battled; still struggled; still had these kinds of things. For me, it was about getting plugged in with a counselor. I got in with a support group and some guys that I could start putting around my life and start sharing my story with these guys, so that we could actually start doing life together.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when I realized\u2014God did hear me\u2014God did care\u2014God did have power.<\/p>\n<p><strong>14:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My problem was that I was trying to get all of that outside the context that He really built it to thrive in, because community is where He built all of that to thrive\u2014He built our life to thrive in community. I\u2019m not saying that God can\u2019t or won\u2019t deal with a person\u2014maybe powerfully, in the dark\u2014so to speak. But He won\u2019t do that without drawing them out into the light eventually.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0What have you found to be especially helpful as you coach men to deal with this with their wives\u2014because they typically don\u2019t understand how this devastates a woman?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes, so clearly, one of the things is just\u2014no more secrets\u2014we can\u2019t be doing life in the dark anymore. Now the way that looks\u2014especially when you\u2019re talking about, maybe, confession\u2014is we often tell husbands who are needing to confess to their wives that it\u2019s important to have full disclosure\u2014but that doesn\u2019t necessarily mean graphic detail.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>But we do say\u2014one of the things that I tell husbands all of the time is, \u201cThe key characteristic to work on is humility.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>15:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you want to understand what a man of integrity looks like\u2014in all areas of his life, not just sexuality\u2014he is a man who has humility as the central characteristic of his life. In other words, he\u2019s not going to be one who\u2019s boastful and proud and puffing himself up. That humility is going to manifest itself in how he offers his strength to his wife.<\/p>\n<p>Now at first, the wife may not be receptive at all to any kind of strength he can offer\u2014because all he\u2019s offered to this point is weakness\u2014all he\u2019s offered at this point is his failures and his sin\u2014but over time, as he begins to rebuild trust through humility\u2014because humility is going to be incredibly different from how he has engaged her before. He has probably engaged her in anger, control, manipulation, and those types of things to get a particular outcome. When he begins to adopt a humble heart, all of the sudden, she sees a different man emerge. \u201cHere\u2019s a guy who tells the truth. Here\u2019s a guy who doesn\u2019t hide it from me anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>16:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Practically speaking, unpack how you rebuilt trust with Elaine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>We were actually separated for nine months, first of all. We didn\u2019t even see each other for seven of those months because she said, \u201cI\u2019m out of here!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So for me\u2014at the beginning\u2014all it meant was, \u201cI\u2019m going to work on becoming the best man I can be,\u201d\u2014because again, I\u2019ve got to live with me for the rest of my life, regardless of what happens to my marriage. That\u2019s what I would tell husbands at first\u2014you might be trying to do anything you can to try to appease your wife, and give her whatever she wants, and all of these kinds of things, but recognize that, at some point, you\u2019re going to have to be dedicated to your personal character, regardless of how your wife responds\u2014regardless if she is amenable to reconciliation or whatever else.<\/p>\n<p>When we did finally get back together, what this looked like\u2014practically\u2014was that I was accountable for my time and money with my wife\u2014every minute of my day\u2014I wanted her to know exactly what I was doing and where I was going.<\/p>\n<p><strong>17:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The key to this was\u2014I initiated all of these things. We want to take that burden off of the wife, where she feels like she\u2019s got to be a cop, or be a mom\u2014she just needs to be a wife. We need to\u2014as husbands\u2014be the ones that say, \u201cI\u2019m taking full responsibility for my character and how I\u2019m also going to be accountable to you on some of these things.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, seven months after she has walked out and you\u2019ve had no contact, did you just call her one day and say, \u201cI want to try again?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s interesting\u2014the call that we actually had was purely logistical\u2014we had to deal with some financial something\u2014I don\u2019t even remember what it was. In that conversation, it just started to kind of morph into, \u201cWhat\u2019s been going on with you? What are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, during our entire nine months of separation, I wrote my wife a letter every day. Honestly, she says that for about the first month, she just threw them all away. She didn\u2019t even open them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>18:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But eventually, she started opening these, and started seeing that there was a different person emerging here\u2014so that seven-month conversation was one of those where we both kind of had the \u201cmaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think we were both starting to hear the \u201cmaybe.\u201d Now I have to say that when we started\u2026a little bit of dating, just going\u2026really, really light stuff, like, \u201cLet\u2019s just go have coffee for 30 minutes and see how it goes,\u201d kind of a thing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think we were both getting the sense that God was doing something special here. But I have to say\u2014I need to give such an incredible amount of honor and props to my wife\u2014because when you think about the pressure that a woman in that situation has\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>\u2014to even <em>consider<\/em> reconciliation\u2014I think we need to celebrate and lift high those women who are willing to step into that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Yes! I agree.<\/p>\n<p><strong>19:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So what\u2019s the trust factor now?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, the cool thing about it is, about five years after we got back together, I got to hear these beautiful words from my wife\u2014\u201cI trust you completely.\u201d They were beautiful words, because they don\u2019t come without real work and real focus. The thing is\u2014it\u2019s not something that I take lightly\u2014even to this day. It\u2019s not as if, \u201cOkay, I worked hard for five years. I got that, and now I\u2019m going to be sloppy as a man.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No! We want to continue to build character. One of the things I\u2019ve learned\u2014even 18 years later\u2014is there are <em>always<\/em> more opportunities to serve my wife\u2014there are <em>always<\/em> more opportunities to connect with my wife\u2014there are <em>always<\/em> more opportunities to earn her trust even more. It\u2019s not about trying to reach a destination in time in your relationship or in life\u2014it\u2019s about a journey over a lifetime.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0To that man who\u2019s listening to us right now, and is going, \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about!\u201d I would say, grab your wife\u2019s hand!<\/p>\n<p><strong>20:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Take her to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaway\u2014and maybe get a copy of Jonathan\u2019s book, <em>Secrets<\/em>. Just ask God to begin to peel the layers of your heart like an onion\u2014and bring you and your spouse into an authentic relationship\u2014where it is the adventure of a lifetime.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jonathan, I appreciate your authenticity in allowing us to step into your journey\u2014your story. Thanks for being on the broadcast. I hope you\u2019ll come back and join us again sometime.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, thank you, sir. Again, my pleasure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and I hope we\u2019ve got a lot of listeners who are going to listen to your podcast as a result of hearing you on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014guys who are in this battle and trying to get free.<\/p>\n<p>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link to Jonathan\u2019s podcast available there\u2014and a link to his website if you want more information about his ministry. You can order his book, <em>Secrets<\/em>, from us here at <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call to order<strong>: <\/strong>1-800-FL-TODAY is our number.<\/p>\n<p><strong>21:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Again, the book is called <em>Secrets<\/em><strong><em>: <\/em><\/strong><em>A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity, and Second Chances. <\/em>Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Of course, if you want information about the upcoming fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, we\u2019re going to be in about three dozen cities this fall with the getaway.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m going to be speaking up in Portland, Oregon. I\u2019m looking forward to going to Portland for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. To find out more about when a getaway is happening in a city near where you live, go to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and ask about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>You know, this issue we\u2019ve been talking about today\u2014I\u2019m just so aware of how many men in our culture today are impacted by this. How many young men, growing up, are being assaulted with pornography, which is so easy and so accessible.<\/p>\n<p><strong>22:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s happening without moms and dads knowing anything about it. Where do you find help and hope? Here at <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>our goal is to provide you with programs like this; with resources that we\u2019ve got online. We want to help effectively develop your marriage and your family to be a godly marriage and a godly family. We believe those kinds of marriages and families can change the world one home at a time.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re grateful for those of you who partner with us to reach more people more regularly with practical, Biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family. Those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners and those of you who will donate from time-to-time,\u00a0 thank you for your support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and all we\u2019re able to do together.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, a couple things are going to happen. First of all, your donation is going to be doubled. We\u2019ve had some friends who have put together a matching gift\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>23:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014and every donation we receive during the month of August is being matched dollar-for-dollar, up to a total of $500,000. So if you make a $25 donation today, it\u2019s worth $50 to us here at <em>FamilyLife<\/em>\u00ae. Along with that, when you donate, we\u2019re going to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>The Art of Parenting, <\/em>as soon as it arrives from the publisher. We expect it any time now. You\u2019ll be first to get your copy of the book\u2014and it\u2019s our thank you gift to you for your support of this ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122 is something that we\u2019re focused on here at <em>FamilyLife<\/em>. A lot of churches are starting <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> small groups this fall using our video series. A lot of churches are using the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, to kick off those parenting small groups, and that movie is now available for churches to show.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s more information about all of that online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, we just want to say thank you for those of you who partner with us to make all of this possible. You can donate to support this ministry online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you can call to donate.<\/p>\n<p><strong>24:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1-800-FL-TODAY is our number, and we appreciate whatever you\u2019re able to do in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>We hope you can join us back tomorrow. Brooke McLaughlin is going to be here to talk about what it looks like when your parenting is gospel-centered. What does that even mean? Brooke will explain that tomorrow, and I hope you can join us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. A Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300333"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300333"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300333"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300333"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}