{"id":300309,"date":"2018-07-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-07-24T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/starting-college\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:29","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:29","slug":"starting-college","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/starting-college\/","title":{"rendered":"Starting College"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Starting college can be scary for the student and parent alike.Hanna Seymour helps young women prepare for college by talking honestly about what they can expect when they get there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-24.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:12","filesize":"24.9M","filesize_raw":"26109656","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2836,2814,2855],"tags":[4462,4460,4463],"podcast_series":[7233],"cwp_profile":[8844],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300309","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-raising-girls","category-releasing-your-child","category-teens","tag-college-girls","tag-getting-ready-for-college","tag-roommate","podcast_series-the-college-girls-survival-guide","cwp_profile-hanna-seymour","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300309\/starting-college","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300309\/starting-college","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FKU04AvzHm\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/starting-college\/\">Starting College<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/starting-college\/embed\/#?secret=FKU04AvzHm\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Starting College&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FKU04AvzHm\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As your daughter heads to college this fall, she faces a couple of options. She can either be really lonely or, Hanna Seymour says, she can start pursuing friendships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Pursuing people means asking them out to coffee \/ asking them to lunch. If you work out every week, ask people to go work out with you. If you walk around campus \/ whatever the activities that you enjoy doing\u2014grab some other people to go with you, and start pursuing people. Know that most people are not good at this; most people are not going to pursue you. Do not take it personally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, July 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There are some key strategies that your daughter can employ as she heads to college this fall that will help her college experience be really good. We\u2019ll talk about those strategies today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So we\u2019re trying to help moms and dads\u2014particularly, if they have daughters who are about to head off to college\u2014I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014if I was about to release a daughter to college, I would want to wrap her up in bubble wrap\u2014you know what I\u2019m saying? I would want to send her off, cocooned up and protected, and make sure that somebody was following her around the whole time\u2014that she didn\u2019t get into any trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And, Bob, I\u2019d want those vests that the police officers wear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The Kevlar<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bubble wrap? [Laughter] Forget bubble wrap!\u2014put Kevlar around her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we\u2019ve got a friend here, Hanna Seymour, who\u2019s a friend of Laura\u2019s, my daughter. She has written a book called <em>The College Girl\u2019s Survival Guide.<\/em> Welcome back, Hanna. Great job on this book, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were on <em>Fox &amp; Friends<\/em>; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I was on <em>Fox &amp; Friends<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How did that go?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> It was a blast!\u2014fastest three-and-a-half minutes of my life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And did they let you talk about your faith?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> They did; yes. They kept bringing it up\u2014they would say: \u201cWell, faith is really important to you. This is rooted in biblical principles.\u201d They were all over it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; go back to the start of how you wrote this book, because you work on college campuses and are a\u2014how did we put that before?\u2014a \u201cprofessional development\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I forget what it was; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> \u2014a \u201cstudent development professional.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cprofessional.\u201d [Laughter] There you go; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Get it right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Is that what we called counselors back in the day?\u2014is that what it is? [Laughter] Okay; alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Anyway, you\u2019ve done this both on the college campus but you were also doing it with high school students.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I was. I\u2019d been working on a college campus for a few years, in a full-time role. I started mentoring high school girls. I wanted to try to help prepare high school girls to really understand <em>why<\/em> they believe what they believe: \u201cCan they articulate the gospel?\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014send them off to college with that foundational knowledge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI graduated my first crop of girls, and I wanted to find a book that would help prepare them for the issues I knew they would be facing. Of course, there are <em>so many<\/em> books out there!\u2014but I was looking for something specifically practical\/easy to read, but biblically-based. I didn\u2019t want it dripping in Christian-ese. I had girls who weren\u2019t \u201call in\u201d yet; so I didn\u2019t want to give them a book that would be, maybe, toxic to them, or just too Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI never found what I wanted and, in the back of my mind, I thought, \u201cMaybe I could write that book someday.\u201d Now, fast-forward just a little bit. I graduated my first group of high school girls\u2014they are off at college. Each week, I would get two to three emails from that group of 12\u2014really basic, common things: \u201cHanna, my roommate and I are not getting along. We haven\u2019t spoken in a week,\u201d or \u201cHey, Hanna, you know, I\u2019ve always wanted to be a nurse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI came as a Pre-Med major; I\u2019m realizing I\u2019m failing my core classes in that major. What am I supposed to do? What do I do with my life? This is what I\u2019ve thought I wanted this whole time!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was getting these emails. I had answered these questions a <em>million<\/em> times in my office on the college campus, but it was the first time I was responding to them in writing. Slowly, those email exchanges turned into a blog; and after several years of blogging and answering questions from college girls all over the country\u2014because, real quickly, it went from my core 12 to girls all over the nation\u2014I realized: \u201cI think I have that book. I think I can write this book that I\u2019ve always wanted to give my high school graduates.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So you wrote a book, and you broke it down into six categories. Quickly, just tick off those six categories; and explain why you chose each one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Roommate conflicts is the first category. <em>Every<\/em> college girl has a roommate conflict during their four years! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think that needs any explanation!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> <em>Every single one<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRelational Issues\u2014so everything from \u201cWhere are my friends?\u201d to \u201cWhere is my future husband?\u201d or just questions about dating: \u201cShould I pursue him?\u201d\u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSex, Drugs, and Alcohol\u2014how to survive the party scene. \u201cDo I want to save sex for marriage?\u201d\u2014discussions like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAcademics and Career: \u201cHow do I find direction? How do I find meaning? Where do I want to go post-college?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFaith-based\u2014that chapter is called \u201cJesus Take the Wheel\u201d\u2014so everything from \u201cHow do I find a church?\u201d \/ \u201cDo I even <em>need <\/em>to find a church and plug in at college?\u201d to \u201cI\u2019m really having doubts about my Christian faith,\u201d or even \u201cI\u2019m terrified to evangelize. The Bible says we\u2019re supposed to make disciples, and that scares me so much!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you left out the first one, which is helping your pre-freshman anticipate college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What\u2019s that all about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> So it\u2019s \u201cFirst Things First\u201d\u2014the top ten things that every entering college freshman is wondering about\u2014from \u201cFreshman Fifteen\u201d to summer orientation; registering for classes\u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cFreshman Fifteen\u201d\u2014just in case anybody doesn\u2019t know what that is\u2014do you want to explain that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Gaining fifteen pounds <em>or more<\/em>. I talked to someone the other day, who said, \u201cI heard it\u2019s now up to 25.\u201d The whole thing is a myth. College students are coming on campus\u2014they\u2019re not eating the way mom and dad fed them\u2014they\u2019re eating junk, they\u2019re eating at 2:00 a.m., they\u2019re not engaged in sports anymore\u2014of course, they\u2019re going to gain some weight; but if they just continue the lifestyle that they had before college, they will <em>not <\/em>gain weight. And beer calories, which is a <em>huge<\/em> piece of that whole \u201cFreshman Fifteen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you gain the \u201cFreshman Fifteen?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I did not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And how did you keep from doing that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t eat at 2:00 a.m.; I didn\u2019t drink. Truly, it was just maintaining\u2014if you maintain the eating\/exercising lifestyle you had at 18\u2014I do talk about, in my book: \u201cLadies, at some point during 18-22, you are going to add some extra weight; because it\u2019s just becoming a woman.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, they <em>hate <\/em>hearing that; but it\u2019s just part of the process. We can\u2019t lose joy over five pounds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> You just let it go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, there are a lot of young women ready to go now [off to college]. What\u2019s the greatest apprehension that a [graduated] high school senior, about to go on the college campus\u2014what is she most afraid of, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I think [it\u2019s] not finding the friends \/ not finding their people. A lot of students have been told by their parents\u2014you know, their parents\u2019 best friend probably came from college \/ not always, but often, folks that we hang onto for a lifetime, we met in college. And that fear of: \u201cI\u2019m losing all the best friends I had from high school. I\u2019m going to a place where, maybe, I know a few people; but am I going to find my people? Am I going to find those best friendships? And how do I cultivate them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I did not have that fear, but I had that reality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> My first semester at college was the loneliest five months of my life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And here\u2019s the deal\u2014I went from being kind of a big deal in high school\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014President of the Senior Class\u2014people knew me. I got to the college campus; I am walking around, and it was like: \u201cHey, guys. Don\u2019t you know who I am? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> More than fifteen pounds ago! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI was kind of a big deal. Why aren\u2019t people high-fiving me as I walk around here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I just found myself <em>incredibly<\/em> lonely. What I tried to do was recapture past glory\u2014talked to my old friend: \u201cHey, do you remember this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou still think I\u2019m great; right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just remember that it was an incredibly lonely season\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in part because I was hanging onto the past, and in part because I didn\u2019t know how to break into a new group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, if somebody\u2019s heading off to college, what\u2019s your coaching tip for them on how they begin to establish a friendship network in a place they\u2019ve never been to before?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I talk a <em>lot<\/em> in my book about the art of pursuing people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere that first has to start is <em>you<\/em> knowing: \u201cWhat kind of friends do you even <em>want<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> You need to know who you\u2019re looking for\u2014what values you want them to hold \/ what characteristics you want them to be exhibiting\u2014it starts there; and, then, it\u2019s you being that friend\u2014you being the friend that you want out of someone else.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPursuing people means asking them out to coffee \/ asking them to lunch. If you work out every week, ask people to go work out with you. If you walk around campus \/ whatever the activities that you enjoy doing\u2014grab some other people to go with you. \u201cPlay together\u201d is what I talk about in the book, and start pursuing people. Know that most people are not good at this; most people are not going to pursue you. Do not take it personally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have asked some girl to grab coffee with you three times and y\u2019all hit it off, and she\u2019s never reciprocated, believe the best about her\u2014believe that she\u2019s just not good at pursuing people, and continue to pursue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEventually, you will start finding those friends who reciprocate, and who are investing in you as much as you\u2019re investing in them; but it takes <em>time<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That\u2019s, I think, the other piece that\u2019s <em>really <\/em>hard for college students to wrap their minds around. Like you said\u2014you have friends from high school, who had known you for years! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> And you have all of these memories, and you also have the context of your family growing up; so my high school best friends all knew my mom and my dad and my siblings. There\u2019s so much more context of friendships, growing up. Then you get to college, and you expect to find your best friends in a snap. Well, how long did it take for you to cultivate those high school best friendships?\u2014probably a long time. So to think that you\u2019re going to find your best friends, first semester\/freshman year, and everything\u2019s going to be hunky-dory until the end\u2014it is just not realistic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly. I\u2019m now going back to a time when I got a phone call from a family, who said, \u201cOur son\u2019s at the University of Arkansas, and we know your daughter goes there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHe\u2019s kind of heading off in the wrong direction. Is there a chance that Laura could just make a contact?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201c\u2026go rescue him?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, not rescue him; but introduce him to some different friends. Now, I know I\u2019m getting over on the guy side, but the principle is the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is what I wanted you to comment on, Hanna\u2014what do you think of parents, who call ahead to a group\u2014like Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Navigators<sup>\u2122<\/sup>, or RUF\u2014and give them the name of your daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and what dorm she\u2019s in and say: \u201cWould you guys mind going by and striking up a friendship with her?\u2014maybe inviting her to some of the group meetings that are taking place?\u201d What do you think about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That has happened to me more times than I can count. Your example that you\u2019re giving is a soft example\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I have had parents call me, explain their child\u2019s roommate conflict, and conference call in the parents of the <em>other<\/em> roommate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, my goodness!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I\u2019m on a conference call with two sets of <em>parents<\/em>\u2014there\u2019s no student involved in this conversation\u2014hashing out what their children are supposed to do for this roommate conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had crazy, crazy conversations with parents, about issues their students are facing. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time\u2014parents, I love you\u2014I know it\u2019s coming from a good place\u2014don\u2019t do it! It\u2019s up to your student! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can tell your student: \u201cHey, there is a great Cru on your campus,\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a great InterVarsity,\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a great RUF! In fact, here\u2019s the name of that staff person,\u201d or \u201c\u2026leader.\u201d You can even give your child that much information, but put it on <em>them<\/em>: \u201cHey! You should attend that large group meeting, and then you should go up and introduce yourself to that staff person\u2014just shake their hand.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk about that in my book: \u201cIntroduce yourself to professors. Go introduce yourself to the President of your university.\u201d Who\u2019s doing that?\u2014encourage\/challenge your child to do it, but don\u2019t do it for them\u2014it\u2019s not helping them. They need to learn to take the initiative; again, they need to learn to pursue people. They have to learn to make their own way, and you <em>can\u2019t<\/em> do it for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what you can do, as a parent\u2014instead of calling Dennis and saying, \u201cHey, can you get your daughter to do this?\u201d or calling Hanna and saying, \u201cWill you make all of this happen?\u201d\u2014you call Jesus. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As parents, you hit your knees, and you pray and cry out and say, \u201cGod, You can do what I can\u2019t do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou can arrange what I can\u2019t arrange. You know who my child is going to meet today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWould You put people in their path? Would You do this?\u201d And just keep crying out to the Lord, because God can do stuff that the arranged situation between somebody\u2019s daughter and your son\u2014God knows what He\u2019s doing a whole lot better; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would say that I want to touch base with you in about 18 years, Hanna\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I know! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and see if she\u2019s calling to arrange something here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I know!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have to say\u2014in this particular case\u2014the illustration I used\u2014Laura did go befriend the young man\u2014not in a romantic\u2014just in friendship\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and she got him to go to one of the Cru events. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just went back to the 50<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014now Cru\u2014at the University of Arkansas. I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014the friends that I made in college were there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014around Cru and a great church\u2014University Baptist Church, led by H.D. McCarty. Those friendships do endure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re on to a <em>very<\/em> important thing here\u2014your daughter and, yes, your son need to be really equipped to know how to select the right group of friends as they go away to college, because who they hang out with will be who they become.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I just have to say too\u2014and you talk about this in the book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in spite of the best eHarmony-like intentions of universities to match up your daughter with a like-minded roommate\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014it doesn\u2019t always work that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Most times not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of your chapters is: \u201cI\u2019d Like to Kill My Roommate, but I Don\u2019t Know Where to Bury the Body. What Should I Do?\u201d [Laughter] You tell the story about somebody, who was roomies with a pot-smoking, free-loving, non-shaving kind of girl\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014who\u2014I mean, they couldn\u2019t have been more different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> It was my roommate. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s talk, sister! So what did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> It was hard for 18-year-old Hanna to figure out how to live with someone that was\u2014I mean, <em>could not <\/em>be more opposite and, sometimes, offensive. I mean, the way in which we were opposite rubbed against me the wrong way. There are things I can\u2019t even say on the radio about what went down with that roommate and the things that she brought into our room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I will say is I learned to: A) Choose my battles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew that her eating my food was so much smaller than some of the bigger problems we were having in our room. I learned how to decide what the <em>one message <\/em>was that I needed to communicate with her that week. I couldn\u2019t come with a laundry list of 100 things that she was doing that were driving me crazy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned how to communicate in kindness\u2014because I will say the one thing I think I did well, as an 18-year-old\u2014I remembered that I was an ambassador of Christ\u2014and that she did not know Jesus. I knew that, as much as she drove me crazy, it mattered more that I reflected Christ well to her than anything else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t have to be a doormat; I didn\u2019t have to, you know, just sweep everything under the rug and let her do whatever she wanted; but I did have to tread lightly, because she knew I was a believer. I cared more about that testimony. I wanted her to remember that about me when we ended our nine months of living together over than, \u201cHanna was always nagging me about \u2018X\u2019, \u2018Y\u2019, and \u2018Z.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what if it\u2019s a big issue, Hanna?\u2014like your roommate locking you out of the room; because she\u2019s having sex with her boyfriend <em>in<\/em> the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes! I talk about that in my book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I do. I say\u2014I think that is the <em>hardest<\/em> roommate conflict, because your roommate <em>knows<\/em> that she\u2019s inconveniencing you. This isn\u2019t just like: \u201cI don\u2019t realize my habit is annoying you.\u201d This is: \u201cI know my behavior is locking you out of <em>your <\/em>bedroom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I still think\u2014I always call them back to\u2014\u201cYou\u2019ve got to talk to your roommate.\u201d Half of the time\u2014more than half of the time\u2014college students don\u2019t want to even confront their roommate. They haven\u2019t been trained to communicate in conflict; so to say, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to talk to her about it.\u201d I walk through the steps of how they can do that. In that chapter, I really talk about the bigger picture of: \u201cI know this sounds crazy, but what if Jesus were in college today, and He had the same roommate conflict? What would He do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf your roommate isn\u2019t a believer, she doesn\u2019t abide by the same biblical principles that you and I abide by.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> There\u2019s no reason for her not to be having sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> So we need to let go of being upset by her sin; because first, she needs to know Jesus to have a heart modification before she can have a behavior modification\u2014so we\u2019re not going to go there. We\u2019re going to care about her heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, just like my similar roommate scenario: \u201cHow do you stick up for yourself \/ communicate with your roommate, but know that you are representing Jesus to her?\u201d I am positive that Jesus cares way more about her heart and what\u2019s going on with her. If she\u2019s having sex every single weekend, a lot of times that story is: \u201cIt\u2019s a different guy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right?\u2014[they\u2019re] so caught up in the party scene, and drinking, and drugs\u2014[they\u2019re] bringing different people home with [them] all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat does that look like, for you, as a roommate?\u2014to care more about her heart, and to try to walk with her, and love on her and care for her, than just to be all up in arms about getting locked out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you <em>need <\/em>a place to sleep at night; so I\u2019m not advocating, \u201cJust get over it!\u201d \/ \u201cOnly be concerned about her,\u201d but \u201cWhat might that look like?\u201d and \u201cWhat might God do in that relationship and in <em>her<\/em> heart if you approached it from that angle?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s really great advice, and that\u2019s the high road.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s very easy to be judgmental in that situation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and for parents to drive up to the school and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to fix this!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019re going to get this straight!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But it\u2019s where your child needs to begin to own her faith and know that her faith is more than her morals. It\u2019s also her love\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and the compassion she shows for someone who doesn\u2019t know Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so here\u2019s a quick question: \u201cShould a mom or a dad send their 18-year-old daughter a link to these programs, online, and say, \u2018Sweetheart, you should listen to <em>FamilyLife Today\u2019<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Totally! Again, I think that\u2019s the line of arming your child\u2014you\u2019ve got resources; you\u2019ve heard things; there are books out there\u2014you know, I would love for parents to buy my book and give it to their student! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you know that the student is going to say: \u201cOh, geez! Give me a break!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> They might, but they might also listen. I <em>listened<\/em> if my parents\u2014not all the time!\u2014 [Laughter]\u2014let\u2019s say half the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We can call your dad! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Fifty percent of the time, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We can call him right now! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s good\u2014one out of every two. I mean, truly, sometimes I would read what they sent me or listen to what they sent me, and you just never know. I would say: \u201cNever shy away from sending your child things that you want them to read or to think about. They may, or they may not.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; well, we have the link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014you can go there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would not be above bribery here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, college kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019ll pay you twenty bucks if you listen to this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014they\u2019re starving to death, because they\u2019ve partied all their money away; so say: \u201cI\u2019ll give you twenty bucks if you\u2019ll listen to Hanna Seymour for the next 24 minutes. Listen to it, beginning to end; $20 will be in the mail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you listen to the whole series, $100!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re going big!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> What\u2019s the hourly rate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What if they read the book?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Um, I would have to throw that in with the series to make them read that thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; \u201cRead the book, and I want a highlighted copy when you come home for Christmas.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> \u201cNotes in the margin!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. The book is called <em>The College Girl\u2019s Survival Guide: Faith-Filled Answers to Your Biggest Concerns. <\/em>We\u2019ll send you a copy when you order from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Order your copy of <em>The College Girl\u2019s Survival Guide <\/em>by Hanna Seymour.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne other thing we\u2019d encourage you to do, as your children head off to college this fall\u2014or maybe you\u2019ve got children or grandchildren headed to elementary, or middle school, or high school\u2014as your kids are going back to school\u2014wherever they\u2019re going \/ or your grandchildren\u2014you need to be praying for them. We\u2019ve put together a \u201c30-Day Parents\u2019 Prayer Challenge\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a back-to-school challenge. Every day, we will send you emails for 30 days. These emails are designed to prompt you, every day, with suggestions \/ ideas of things you can be praying for your children as they get ready to head back to school or as they begin their first days of school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is free to sign up for; you can do it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. It\u2019s a part of our commitment to help effectively develop godly marriages and families. We\u2019re trying to provide you with practical biblical help and hope for you and your marriage and family\u2014things like our new <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video series \/ the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> online course that\u2019s available for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we want to do all we can to extend the reach of this ministry to reach more people with more help every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who partner with us in this. Every time you make a donation, you are really giving so that other listeners can, not only enjoy this program, but they can take part in the prayer challenge or they can use the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> online series. Your donations are helping your fellow listeners grow in their understanding of what God\u2019s Word has to say about marriage and family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to help with a donation today, we would love to hear from you. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to donate\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is our number. You can also mail your donation to us. Our address is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, we have a thank-you gift we\u2019d love to send you if you can help with a donation today. It\u2019s a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s newest book, which is called <em>Choosing a Life That Matters. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s our way of expressing our thanks for your partnership with us in this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we will be back to talk more about sending our daughters off to college; and particularly, about the issue of them continuing to have a faith walk as they go off to school. \u201cWhy are so many kids abandoning their faith?\u201d and \u201cI there anything we can do about that, as parents?\u201d\u2014we\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:12"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.9M"],"filesize_raw":["26109656"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300309.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300309.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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college can be scary for the student and parent alike.Hanna Seymour helps young women prepare for college by talking honestly about what they can expect when they get there.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As your daughter heads to college this fall, she faces a couple of options. She can either be really lonely or, Hanna Seymour says, she can start pursuing friendships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Pursuing people means asking them out to coffee \/ asking them to lunch. If you work out every week, ask people to go work out with you. If you walk around campus \/ whatever the activities that you enjoy doing\u2014grab some other people to go with you, and start pursuing people. Know that most people are not good at this; most people are not going to pursue you. Do not take it personally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, July 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There are some key strategies that your daughter can employ as she heads to college this fall that will help her college experience be really good. We\u2019ll talk about those strategies today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So we\u2019re trying to help moms and dads\u2014particularly, if they have daughters who are about to head off to college\u2014I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014if I was about to release a daughter to college, I would want to wrap her up in bubble wrap\u2014you know what I\u2019m saying? I would want to send her off, cocooned up and protected, and make sure that somebody was following her around the whole time\u2014that she didn\u2019t get into any trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And, Bob, I\u2019d want those vests that the police officers wear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The Kevlar<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bubble wrap? [Laughter] Forget bubble wrap!\u2014put Kevlar around her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we\u2019ve got a friend here, Hanna Seymour, who\u2019s a friend of Laura\u2019s, my daughter. She has written a book called <em>The College Girl\u2019s Survival Guide.<\/em> Welcome back, Hanna. Great job on this book, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You were on <em>Fox &amp; Friends<\/em>; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I was on <em>Fox &amp; Friends<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How did that go?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> It was a blast!\u2014fastest three-and-a-half minutes of my life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And did they let you talk about your faith?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> They did; yes. They kept bringing it up\u2014they would say: \u201cWell, faith is really important to you. This is rooted in biblical principles.\u201d They were all over it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; go back to the start of how you wrote this book, because you work on college campuses and are a\u2014how did we put that before?\u2014a \u201cprofessional development\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I forget what it was; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> \u2014a \u201cstudent development professional.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cprofessional.\u201d [Laughter] There you go; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Get it right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Is that what we called counselors back in the day?\u2014is that what it is? [Laughter] Okay; alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Anyway, you\u2019ve done this both on the college campus but you were also doing it with high school students.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I was. I\u2019d been working on a college campus for a few years, in a full-time role. I started mentoring high school girls. I wanted to try to help prepare high school girls to really understand <em>why<\/em> they believe what they believe: \u201cCan they articulate the gospel?\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014send them off to college with that foundational knowledge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI graduated my first crop of girls, and I wanted to find a book that would help prepare them for the issues I knew they would be facing. Of course, there are <em>so many<\/em> books out there!\u2014but I was looking for something specifically practical\/easy to read, but biblically-based. I didn\u2019t want it dripping in Christian-ese. I had girls who weren\u2019t \u201call in\u201d yet; so I didn\u2019t want to give them a book that would be, maybe, toxic to them, or just too Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI never found what I wanted and, in the back of my mind, I thought, \u201cMaybe I could write that book someday.\u201d Now, fast-forward just a little bit. I graduated my first group of high school girls\u2014they are off at college. Each week, I would get two to three emails from that group of 12\u2014really basic, common things: \u201cHanna, my roommate and I are not getting along. We haven\u2019t spoken in a week,\u201d or \u201cHey, Hanna, you know, I\u2019ve always wanted to be a nurse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI came as a Pre-Med major; I\u2019m realizing I\u2019m failing my core classes in that major. What am I supposed to do? What do I do with my life? This is what I\u2019ve thought I wanted this whole time!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was getting these emails. I had answered these questions a <em>million<\/em> times in my office on the college campus, but it was the first time I was responding to them in writing. Slowly, those email exchanges turned into a blog; and after several years of blogging and answering questions from college girls all over the country\u2014because, real quickly, it went from my core 12 to girls all over the nation\u2014I realized: \u201cI think I have that book. I think I can write this book that I\u2019ve always wanted to give my high school graduates.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So you wrote a book, and you broke it down into six categories. Quickly, just tick off those six categories; and explain why you chose each one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Roommate conflicts is the first category. <em>Every<\/em> college girl has a roommate conflict during their four years! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think that needs any explanation!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> <em>Every single one<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRelational Issues\u2014so everything from \u201cWhere are my friends?\u201d to \u201cWhere is my future husband?\u201d or just questions about dating: \u201cShould I pursue him?\u201d\u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSex, Drugs, and Alcohol\u2014how to survive the party scene. \u201cDo I want to save sex for marriage?\u201d\u2014discussions like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAcademics and Career: \u201cHow do I find direction? How do I find meaning? Where do I want to go post-college?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFaith-based\u2014that chapter is called \u201cJesus Take the Wheel\u201d\u2014so everything from \u201cHow do I find a church?\u201d \/ \u201cDo I even <em>need <\/em>to find a church and plug in at college?\u201d to \u201cI\u2019m really having doubts about my Christian faith,\u201d or even \u201cI\u2019m terrified to evangelize. The Bible says we\u2019re supposed to make disciples, and that scares me so much!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you left out the first one, which is helping your pre-freshman anticipate college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What\u2019s that all about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> So it\u2019s \u201cFirst Things First\u201d\u2014the top ten things that every entering college freshman is wondering about\u2014from \u201cFreshman Fifteen\u201d to summer orientation; registering for classes\u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cFreshman Fifteen\u201d\u2014just in case anybody doesn\u2019t know what that is\u2014do you want to explain that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Gaining fifteen pounds <em>or more<\/em>. I talked to someone the other day, who said, \u201cI heard it\u2019s now up to 25.\u201d The whole thing is a myth. College students are coming on campus\u2014they\u2019re not eating the way mom and dad fed them\u2014they\u2019re eating junk, they\u2019re eating at 2:00 a.m., they\u2019re not engaged in sports anymore\u2014of course, they\u2019re going to gain some weight; but if they just continue the lifestyle that they had before college, they will <em>not <\/em>gain weight. And beer calories, which is a <em>huge<\/em> piece of that whole \u201cFreshman Fifteen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you gain the \u201cFreshman Fifteen?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I did not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And how did you keep from doing that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t eat at 2:00 a.m.; I didn\u2019t drink. Truly, it was just maintaining\u2014if you maintain the eating\/exercising lifestyle you had at 18\u2014I do talk about, in my book: \u201cLadies, at some point during 18-22, you are going to add some extra weight; because it\u2019s just becoming a woman.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, they <em>hate <\/em>hearing that; but it\u2019s just part of the process. We can\u2019t lose joy over five pounds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> You just let it go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, there are a lot of young women ready to go now [off to college]. What\u2019s the greatest apprehension that a [graduated] high school senior, about to go on the college campus\u2014what is she most afraid of, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I think [it\u2019s] not finding the friends \/ not finding their people. A lot of students have been told by their parents\u2014you know, their parents\u2019 best friend probably came from college \/ not always, but often, folks that we hang onto for a lifetime, we met in college. And that fear of: \u201cI\u2019m losing all the best friends I had from high school. I\u2019m going to a place where, maybe, I know a few people; but am I going to find my people? Am I going to find those best friendships? And how do I cultivate them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I did not have that fear, but I had that reality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> My first semester at college was the loneliest five months of my life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And here\u2019s the deal\u2014I went from being kind of a big deal in high school\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014President of the Senior Class\u2014people knew me. I got to the college campus; I am walking around, and it was like: \u201cHey, guys. Don\u2019t you know who I am? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> More than fifteen pounds ago! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI was kind of a big deal. Why aren\u2019t people high-fiving me as I walk around here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I just found myself <em>incredibly<\/em> lonely. What I tried to do was recapture past glory\u2014talked to my old friend: \u201cHey, do you remember this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou still think I\u2019m great; right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just remember that it was an incredibly lonely season\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in part because I was hanging onto the past, and in part because I didn\u2019t know how to break into a new group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, if somebody\u2019s heading off to college, what\u2019s your coaching tip for them on how they begin to establish a friendship network in a place they\u2019ve never been to before?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I talk a <em>lot<\/em> in my book about the art of pursuing people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere that first has to start is <em>you<\/em> knowing: \u201cWhat kind of friends do you even <em>want<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> You need to know who you\u2019re looking for\u2014what values you want them to hold \/ what characteristics you want them to be exhibiting\u2014it starts there; and, then, it\u2019s you being that friend\u2014you being the friend that you want out of someone else.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPursuing people means asking them out to coffee \/ asking them to lunch. If you work out every week, ask people to go work out with you. If you walk around campus \/ whatever the activities that you enjoy doing\u2014grab some other people to go with you. \u201cPlay together\u201d is what I talk about in the book, and start pursuing people. Know that most people are not good at this; most people are not going to pursue you. Do not take it personally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have asked some girl to grab coffee with you three times and y\u2019all hit it off, and she\u2019s never reciprocated, believe the best about her\u2014believe that she\u2019s just not good at pursuing people, and continue to pursue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEventually, you will start finding those friends who reciprocate, and who are investing in you as much as you\u2019re investing in them; but it takes <em>time<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That\u2019s, I think, the other piece that\u2019s <em>really <\/em>hard for college students to wrap their minds around. Like you said\u2014you have friends from high school, who had known you for years! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> And you have all of these memories, and you also have the context of your family growing up; so my high school best friends all knew my mom and my dad and my siblings. There\u2019s so much more context of friendships, growing up. Then you get to college, and you expect to find your best friends in a snap. Well, how long did it take for you to cultivate those high school best friendships?\u2014probably a long time. So to think that you\u2019re going to find your best friends, first semester\/freshman year, and everything\u2019s going to be hunky-dory until the end\u2014it is just not realistic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly. I\u2019m now going back to a time when I got a phone call from a family, who said, \u201cOur son\u2019s at the University of Arkansas, and we know your daughter goes there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHe\u2019s kind of heading off in the wrong direction. Is there a chance that Laura could just make a contact?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201c\u2026go rescue him?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, not rescue him; but introduce him to some different friends. Now, I know I\u2019m getting over on the guy side, but the principle is the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is what I wanted you to comment on, Hanna\u2014what do you think of parents, who call ahead to a group\u2014like Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Navigators<sup>\u2122<\/sup>, or RUF\u2014and give them the name of your daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and what dorm she\u2019s in and say: \u201cWould you guys mind going by and striking up a friendship with her?\u2014maybe inviting her to some of the group meetings that are taking place?\u201d What do you think about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That has happened to me more times than I can count. Your example that you\u2019re giving is a soft example\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I have had parents call me, explain their child\u2019s roommate conflict, and conference call in the parents of the <em>other<\/em> roommate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, my goodness!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I\u2019m on a conference call with two sets of <em>parents<\/em>\u2014there\u2019s no student involved in this conversation\u2014hashing out what their children are supposed to do for this roommate conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had crazy, crazy conversations with parents, about issues their students are facing. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time\u2014parents, I love you\u2014I know it\u2019s coming from a good place\u2014don\u2019t do it! It\u2019s up to your student! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can tell your student: \u201cHey, there is a great Cru on your campus,\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a great InterVarsity,\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a great RUF! In fact, here\u2019s the name of that staff person,\u201d or \u201c\u2026leader.\u201d You can even give your child that much information, but put it on <em>them<\/em>: \u201cHey! You should attend that large group meeting, and then you should go up and introduce yourself to that staff person\u2014just shake their hand.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk about that in my book: \u201cIntroduce yourself to professors. Go introduce yourself to the President of your university.\u201d Who\u2019s doing that?\u2014encourage\/challenge your child to do it, but don\u2019t do it for them\u2014it\u2019s not helping them. They need to learn to take the initiative; again, they need to learn to pursue people. They have to learn to make their own way, and you <em>can\u2019t<\/em> do it for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what you can do, as a parent\u2014instead of calling Dennis and saying, \u201cHey, can you get your daughter to do this?\u201d or calling Hanna and saying, \u201cWill you make all of this happen?\u201d\u2014you call Jesus. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As parents, you hit your knees, and you pray and cry out and say, \u201cGod, You can do what I can\u2019t do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou can arrange what I can\u2019t arrange. You know who my child is going to meet today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWould You put people in their path? Would You do this?\u201d And just keep crying out to the Lord, because God can do stuff that the arranged situation between somebody\u2019s daughter and your son\u2014God knows what He\u2019s doing a whole lot better; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would say that I want to touch base with you in about 18 years, Hanna\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I know! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and see if she\u2019s calling to arrange something here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I know!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have to say\u2014in this particular case\u2014the illustration I used\u2014Laura did go befriend the young man\u2014not in a romantic\u2014just in friendship\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and she got him to go to one of the Cru events. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just went back to the 50<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary of Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014now Cru\u2014at the University of Arkansas. I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014the friends that I made in college were there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014around Cru and a great church\u2014University Baptist Church, led by H.D. McCarty. Those friendships do endure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re on to a <em>very<\/em> important thing here\u2014your daughter and, yes, your son need to be really equipped to know how to select the right group of friends as they go away to college, because who they hang out with will be who they become.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I just have to say too\u2014and you talk about this in the book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in spite of the best eHarmony-like intentions of universities to match up your daughter with a like-minded roommate\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014it doesn\u2019t always work that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Most times not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of your chapters is: \u201cI\u2019d Like to Kill My Roommate, but I Don\u2019t Know Where to Bury the Body. What Should I Do?\u201d [Laughter] You tell the story about somebody, who was roomies with a pot-smoking, free-loving, non-shaving kind of girl\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014who\u2014I mean, they couldn\u2019t have been more different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> It was my roommate. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s talk, sister! So what did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> It was hard for 18-year-old Hanna to figure out how to live with someone that was\u2014I mean, <em>could not <\/em>be more opposite and, sometimes, offensive. I mean, the way in which we were opposite rubbed against me the wrong way. There are things I can\u2019t even say on the radio about what went down with that roommate and the things that she brought into our room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I will say is I learned to: A) Choose my battles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew that her eating my food was so much smaller than some of the bigger problems we were having in our room. I learned how to decide what the <em>one message <\/em>was that I needed to communicate with her that week. I couldn\u2019t come with a laundry list of 100 things that she was doing that were driving me crazy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI learned how to communicate in kindness\u2014because I will say the one thing I think I did well, as an 18-year-old\u2014I remembered that I was an ambassador of Christ\u2014and that she did not know Jesus. I knew that, as much as she drove me crazy, it mattered more that I reflected Christ well to her than anything else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t have to be a doormat; I didn\u2019t have to, you know, just sweep everything under the rug and let her do whatever she wanted; but I did have to tread lightly, because she knew I was a believer. I cared more about that testimony. I wanted her to remember that about me when we ended our nine months of living together over than, \u201cHanna was always nagging me about \u2018X\u2019, \u2018Y\u2019, and \u2018Z.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what if it\u2019s a big issue, Hanna?\u2014like your roommate locking you out of the room; because she\u2019s having sex with her boyfriend <em>in<\/em> the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes! I talk about that in my book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I do. I say\u2014I think that is the <em>hardest<\/em> roommate conflict, because your roommate <em>knows<\/em> that she\u2019s inconveniencing you. This isn\u2019t just like: \u201cI don\u2019t realize my habit is annoying you.\u201d This is: \u201cI know my behavior is locking you out of <em>your <\/em>bedroom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I still think\u2014I always call them back to\u2014\u201cYou\u2019ve got to talk to your roommate.\u201d Half of the time\u2014more than half of the time\u2014college students don\u2019t want to even confront their roommate. They haven\u2019t been trained to communicate in conflict; so to say, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to talk to her about it.\u201d I walk through the steps of how they can do that. In that chapter, I really talk about the bigger picture of: \u201cI know this sounds crazy, but what if Jesus were in college today, and He had the same roommate conflict? What would He do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf your roommate isn\u2019t a believer, she doesn\u2019t abide by the same biblical principles that you and I abide by.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> There\u2019s no reason for her not to be having sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> So we need to let go of being upset by her sin; because first, she needs to know Jesus to have a heart modification before she can have a behavior modification\u2014so we\u2019re not going to go there. We\u2019re going to care about her heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, just like my similar roommate scenario: \u201cHow do you stick up for yourself \/ communicate with your roommate, but know that you are representing Jesus to her?\u201d I am positive that Jesus cares way more about her heart and what\u2019s going on with her. If she\u2019s having sex every single weekend, a lot of times that story is: \u201cIt\u2019s a different guy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Right?\u2014[they\u2019re] so caught up in the party scene, and drinking, and drugs\u2014[they\u2019re] bringing different people home with [them] all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat does that look like, for you, as a roommate?\u2014to care more about her heart, and to try to walk with her, and love on her and care for her, than just to be all up in arms about getting locked out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you <em>need <\/em>a place to sleep at night; so I\u2019m not advocating, \u201cJust get over it!\u201d \/ \u201cOnly be concerned about her,\u201d but \u201cWhat might that look like?\u201d and \u201cWhat might God do in that relationship and in <em>her<\/em> heart if you approached it from that angle?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s really great advice, and that\u2019s the high road.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s very easy to be judgmental in that situation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and for parents to drive up to the school and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to fix this!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019re going to get this straight!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But it\u2019s where your child needs to begin to own her faith and know that her faith is more than her morals. It\u2019s also her love\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and the compassion she shows for someone who doesn\u2019t know Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so here\u2019s a quick question: \u201cShould a mom or a dad send their 18-year-old daughter a link to these programs, online, and say, \u2018Sweetheart, you should listen to <em>FamilyLife Today\u2019<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Totally! Again, I think that\u2019s the line of arming your child\u2014you\u2019ve got resources; you\u2019ve heard things; there are books out there\u2014you know, I would love for parents to buy my book and give it to their student! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you know that the student is going to say: \u201cOh, geez! Give me a break!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> They might, but they might also listen. I <em>listened<\/em> if my parents\u2014not all the time!\u2014 [Laughter]\u2014let\u2019s say half the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We can call your dad! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> Fifty percent of the time, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We can call him right now! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s good\u2014one out of every two. I mean, truly, sometimes I would read what they sent me or listen to what they sent me, and you just never know. I would say: \u201cNever shy away from sending your child things that you want them to read or to think about. They may, or they may not.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; well, we have the link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014you can go there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I would not be above bribery here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, college kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019ll pay you twenty bucks if you listen to this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014they\u2019re starving to death, because they\u2019ve partied all their money away; so say: \u201cI\u2019ll give you twenty bucks if you\u2019ll listen to Hanna Seymour for the next 24 minutes. Listen to it, beginning to end; $20 will be in the mail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you listen to the whole series, $100!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re going big!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> What\u2019s the hourly rate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What if they read the book?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Um, I would have to throw that in with the series to make them read that thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; \u201cRead the book, and I want a highlighted copy when you come home for Christmas.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hanna:<\/strong> \u201cNotes in the margin!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. The book is called <em>The College Girl\u2019s Survival Guide: Faith-Filled Answers to Your Biggest Concerns. <\/em>We\u2019ll send you a copy when you order from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Order your copy of <em>The College Girl\u2019s Survival Guide <\/em>by Hanna Seymour.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne other thing we\u2019d encourage you to do, as your children head off to college this fall\u2014or maybe you\u2019ve got children or grandchildren headed to elementary, or middle school, or high school\u2014as your kids are going back to school\u2014wherever they\u2019re going \/ or your grandchildren\u2014you need to be praying for them. We\u2019ve put together a \u201c30-Day Parents\u2019 Prayer Challenge\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a back-to-school challenge. Every day, we will send you emails for 30 days. These emails are designed to prompt you, every day, with suggestions \/ ideas of things you can be praying for your children as they get ready to head back to school or as they begin their first days of school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is free to sign up for; you can do it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. It\u2019s a part of our commitment to help effectively develop godly marriages and families. We\u2019re trying to provide you with practical biblical help and hope for you and your marriage and family\u2014things like our new <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video series \/ the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> online course that\u2019s available for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we want to do all we can to extend the reach of this ministry to reach more people with more help every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who partner with us in this. Every time you make a donation, you are really giving so that other listeners can, not only enjoy this program, but they can take part in the prayer challenge or they can use the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> online series. Your donations are helping your fellow listeners grow in their understanding of what God\u2019s Word has to say about marriage and family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to help with a donation today, we would love to hear from you. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to donate\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is our number. You can also mail your donation to us. Our address is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, we have a thank-you gift we\u2019d love to send you if you can help with a donation today. It\u2019s a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s newest book, which is called <em>Choosing a Life That Matters. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s our way of expressing our thanks for your partnership with us in this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we will be back to talk more about sending our daughters off to college; and particularly, about the issue of them continuing to have a faith walk as they go off to school. \u201cWhy are so many kids abandoning their faith?\u201d and \u201cI there anything we can do about that, as parents?\u201d\u2014we\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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