{"id":300301,"date":"2018-07-18T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-07-18T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/taken\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:28","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:28","slug":"taken","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/taken\/","title":{"rendered":"Taken"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ron and Nan Deal walk us through the events in 2009 that took the life of their 12-year old son, Connor. The Deals tells how their family got through this tremendous loss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:31:04","filesize":"28.44M","filesize_raw":"29819098","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2847,2860,2879],"tags":[4280,2343,4457,2605,4458],"podcast_series":[7232],"cwp_profile":[3629,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300301","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-death-and-dying","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-loss-of-a-child","tag-death","tag-grief","tag-loss-of-a-child","tag-sickness","tag-tragic-loss","podcast_series-connors-song","cwp_profile-nan-deal","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300301\/taken","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300301\/taken","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"THxQSM4NvC\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/taken\/\">Taken<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/taken\/embed\/#?secret=THxQSM4NvC\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Taken&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"THxQSM4NvC\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What we really believe about God and about life comes out when we\u2019re facing hardship. When Ron and Nan Deal\u2019s son, Connor, got sick, and it was serious, Ron realized that he had some faulty ideas buried deep in his thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I realized that one of the things I <em>assumed<\/em> about him getting well was that we were good people; and good things happen to good people, and God is faithful to good people. I just kind of thought that earned us something. I would have <em>never<\/em> articulated that; but I <em>really<\/em> had to wrestle with that notion afterwards, because I started reading the Book of Job. I didn\u2019t realize I believed that, but I <em>did<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, July 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Ron and Nan Deal join us today to share with us their son\u2019s story\u2014Connor\u2019s story\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and to share with us how God is with you, even in the valley of the shadow of death. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We have been invited in today to what I think this a pretty sacred place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have by a pair of very good friends. Ron and Nan Deal join us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I say, \u201cagain,\u201d because Ron is heard quite frequently, here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Ron\/Nan, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Our listeners know Ron, Bob, because he heads up FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He has given leadership to that since 2012. He and Nan have been married since 1986. I\u2019m tempted to get into that story\u2014[Laughter]\u2014about how a couple of near-teenagers got married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019ll save that for another day. They have three sons; and they, not only give leadership, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, to FamilyLife Blended, but they\u2019re also involved with Touch a Life Foundation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI guess I just want to cut to the chase, as Bob has talked about here. When did you guys know there was a health issue with your son, Connor?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Connor is our middle son. When he was 12 years of age\u2014the boys were 10, 12, and 14 at the time\u2014Nan and I went on a date one Saturday afternoon. We went home, and Connor had a headache. We did what all parents do\u2014we gave him two ibuprofen, and sent him to bed a little early, and imagined that he would feel better the next day\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014just a standard little headache \/ not feeling well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right, and then it went to kind of a cough; no fever yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI took him to an urgent care the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>And they diagnosed him with croup, which was\u2014you know, for a 12-year-old\u2014I remember the doctor that was taking care of him said, \u201cThis is kind of unusual, but let\u2019s give him a breathing treatment.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget this, and neither will our younger son. That doctor slapped him on the shoulder and said, \u201cIn about 24 hours you\u2019re going to feel like a million bucks.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At what point did you start to go, \u201cThis may be more than just a common cold\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>We went from home to an urgent care, to the hospital in Amarillo, to him and I being on a plane, flown from Amarillo to Dallas Children\u2019s Hospital. At this point, he has pneumonia, and\u2014you know, older people and little babies get pneumonia; but he\u2019s 12, and he\u2019s going to be fine. I could never go to, \u201cThis is really severe.\u201d I just <em>knew<\/em> we were going to get the care that we needed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We went from headache to croup to pneumonia pretty quickly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you did too\u2014this was like 48 hours, from headache to pneumonia?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Well, really, there was a week\u2019s span in there: Saturday, he has a headache; Sunday, she takes him to the urgent care; by Monday, he\u2019s starting to run a fever; on Tuesday morning, we call our family physician.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right; we met him at the hospital, and he was being admitted that day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes; immediately. They did a chest X-ray and said, \u201cHe has pneumonia in one lung; it\u2019s started in the other lung.\u201d But we still didn\u2019t know <em>why<\/em>. We still didn\u2019t know what was causing it all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I have to repeat what Nan said; we never thought, \u201cOur son\u2019s going to die.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>We just didn\u2019t think that. People came and prayed over him; and the Bible says, you know, prayer of the righteous will heal the sick\u2014we were just <em>confident<\/em> of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDay after day after day, we\u2019d get a little more information. We went in the hospital on Tuesday; I think it was on Thursday that they finally had a diagnosis\u2014he had MRSA. He had somehow contracted a MRSA staph infection that was septic in his bloodstream\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it was causing the pneumonia; it was causing organ failure. They began to tell us how serious this was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Let\u2019s go back two days; because as soon as we took him into the hospital and they found that pneumonia, it wasn\u2019t too long after that they were trying to give him a breathing treatment. He just was going crazy with it\u2014it was causing a lot of anxiety\u2014and so they put him in a coma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>immediately<\/em> started journaling what was happening to him. We never left him for any procedure that was done\u2014whenever they intubated him with, or any IV, or any kind of treatment he had. I was journaling it all for him; because I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s going to wake up in a few days and he\u2019s\u2026\u2014or when they kept saying\u2014\u201cWell, now, we\u2019re going to put him on this and this,\u201d \u201cNow, we\u2019re going to Dallas,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cHe\u2019s going to miss a whole week of life! I need to be able to tell him what was going on.\u201d That was, for <em>me<\/em>\u2014as a mom\u2014I needed to do that. I just <em>needed<\/em> to be that voice for him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, you, as a husband, are caring for a mom as well as your son at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did you handle the trauma that Nan was going through, being helpless to help Connor, at the same time you\u2019re processing your own emotions of feeling helpless to help Connor as well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Not very well. I have to say\u2014you know, it was a bit of a blur; and at the same time, I was confident that the Lord was going to heal him\u2014that Connor was going to have a testimony out of this \/ that God would get glory for it\u2014all of those things that you just naturally <em>assume<\/em> about how this is going to work out. Like Nan said, we just <em>never<\/em> went to that place that said\u2014even when they said, \u201cWe need you to know this is very serious,\u201d\u2014kind of heard it; but it didn\u2019t really take heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>I was the one, saying: \u201cI will not leave his side. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI will not go eat. I will not sleep until he sleeps. I\u2019m going to see every procedure, every needle that goes in his arm, every X-ray that they take. You [Ron] are managing family \/ our other two boys.\u201d I was hunkered down for the long haul. I didn\u2019t leave the room, and they were getting really worried about me\u2014I wasn\u2019t showering\/eating\u2014I wasn\u2019t going to leave my son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, Tuesday, he enters the hospital; Wednesday\/Thursday we get a diagnosis; Friday, they say: \u201cThis is a long-term recovery. He can recover; but not here, at this hospital; we have limitations. We need to get him to Children\u2019s Hospital in Dallas, where they have much better facilities; but there are no beds.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget them saying, \u201cYou might want to pray that a bed opens up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSaturday, came back to us, and they said, \u201cA bed has opened.\u201d She ended up flying with him to Dallas. I drove with my oldest son to Dallas; we all met there. He [Connor] survived the flight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>I\u2019ll never forget the technician\u2014there were two of us. It was so cold in there\u2014two of us, and Connor and I, and then the pilot. The pilot said, \u201cCan I fly at 11,000 feet?\u201d and they said: \u201cNo. This boy is delicate. <em>Nine<\/em> thousand feet.\u201d I couldn\u2019t, in my mind, go there\u2014not understanding the <em>delicacy<\/em> of it\u2014and yet, I watched them take him from his hospital room to that plane, and from the bed to the gurney; and it took like three hours. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget\u2014you know, it was a five-hour drive for you; maybe a 45-minute flight for me\u2014and we met at the same time. It just took <em>forever<\/em> to get him from one hospital to the other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m hearing you describe your emotional optimism, both of you, in the midst of this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m relating\u2014I\u2019m, by nature, optimistic. I\u2019ll hear something like this and, like you, I\u2019ll go: \u201cWell, this is going to work out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe have the best medical care in the world. You can\u2019t get a cough or a headache one day and have it be critically serious.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m thinking to myself, \u201cIs that my own sense of denial kicking in\u2014that I\u2019m not more sobered?\u2014or am I having a realistic appraisal?\u201d because most of these things do work out \/ most of the time, kids get better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right. I think it went to <em>severe<\/em> when they put him on ECMO, which is a lung bypass machine for both of the lungs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Where did that happen, Amarillo or Dallas?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That was in Dallas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Dallas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; after you\u2019ve been there for a day or two?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014for a day. They put him on lung bypass and, I\u2019ll add, heart bypass. They didn\u2019t want his internal organs working at all; they wanted to do all the work for him. I mean, there\u2019s a lot of stuff keeping him alive. The idea was his lungs would eventually heal. It might take four to six weeks; but he\u2019s going to be right here, on this bed, and that\u2019s where this is going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. And all of this was\u2014I mean, you\u2019re asking, \u201cSo what caused this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd they\u2019re saying, \u201cIt\u2019s this MRSA infection\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014that\u2019s spinning off and ruining his internal organs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And the next question is: \u201cHow did he get this infection, out in west Texas, somewhere, when nobody else has it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>We still don\u2019t know. There\u2019s no way of knowing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t this bacteria found in common places where people visit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes; unfortunately, we\u2019ve learned a lot about MRSA. I didn\u2019t know this, at the time; but MRSA used to be that thing you got when you went in the hospital and, then, you got this infection on top of what you went in there for. That\u2019s what they call the \u201chospital-borne MRSA\u201d\u2014it still exists. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there is <em>now<\/em> a community-borne MRSA\u2014and how you get it \/ where you get it\u2014who knows? Connor was our healthiest child, and he was our kind of germaphobe\u2014I mean, he was our kid\u2014washed his hands all the time \/ was really careful in public restrooms about what he touched and what he didn\u2019t\u2014he still got it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, Bob mentioned your emotional hope. I also heard, as you were talking, for both of you, that your faith in God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the knowledge of who He is \/ what the Scripture tells us about how God loves us and how He loves our children\u2014that also brought the hope; didn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Absolutely. I realized that one of the things I <em>assumed<\/em> about him getting well was that we were good people; and good things happen to good people, and God is faithful to good people. I just kind of thought that earned us something. I would have <em>never<\/em> articulated that; but I <em>really<\/em> had to wrestle with that notion afterwards, because I started reading the Book of Job, because he believed the same thing and all his friends did as well. I didn\u2019t realize I believed that, but I <em>did<\/em>\u2014you just <em>assume<\/em> that it\u2019s going to be okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe get Connor settled. They put him on this ECMO machine \/ this lung bypass machine. It\u2019s now been nine days since he first had a headache. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the tenth day, they actually said: \u201cWe want to try to lift Connor out of the coma a little bit. Would you go and talk to him? Let\u2019s see how he responds.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo on Tuesday morning, the tenth day that he was sick, I went over and whispered in his ear and held his hand. [Emotion in voice] He squeezed my hand, and a little tear ran down his cheek. We were like, \u201cOkay; he\u2019s still there!\u201d That was our first indication, because they had had him in a coma. We were telling him: \u201cIt\u2019s okay. We\u2019re here. We\u2019re praying for you.\u201d Nan squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>We started singing to him and just the tears rolled down as he grabbed for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Big brother got squeezed. About that time they came to us and they said, \u201cWell, you know, his heart rate\u2019s going up a little bit and his blood pressure. We really want to keep that at a good level, so why don\u2019t we give him a little break? You guys have done a great job here.\u201d And we said, \u201cOkay; we\u2019ll step out of the room.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome friends were visiting; and so we said, \u201cLet\u2019s just grab some lunch with them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>That was one of the first times I <em>left<\/em>; because they were like: \u201cOkay; you\u2019ve gone this <em>whole<\/em> long time without leaving. You need to go and give him a break. He\u2019s worn out,\u201d and \u201cHe\u2019s worn out, with you, Mom. So go take care of yourself; come back.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we were gone\u2014what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u201445 minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u201445 minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>We walked right in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014and everything was gone in the room\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>He wasn\u2019t there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014our son; the ECMO machine, which is ginormous\u2014and I just went screaming down the hallway, going, \u201cWhere is he?\u201d They said, \u201cWell, we\u2019ve taken him for a CAT scan.\u201d This is a Tuesday; and I said, \u201cHe\u2019s not scheduled for one till Friday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Then they kind of ushered us into a little side room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014to a waiting room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014to wait for some doctors to come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>And as soon as they came in, I knew <em>exactly<\/em> what they were going to say. I just told them not to tell me\u2014I just said: \u201cI don\u2019t want to hear it. I don\u2019t want you to tell me.\u201d I walked out of the room to go be with my son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Then I heard them explain that, in the short time that we were gone, something changed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt turns out the MRSA had also made him susceptible, and he got the flu. It was causing bleeding in the brain, and they couldn\u2019t stop it. It was only a matter of time that\u2014he would die in the brain\u2014brain dead, first\u2014and then his heart would stop. It was inevitable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ran outside and grabbed our other two boys\u2014[Emotion in voice]\u2014told them their brother was dying and we needed to go and be with him\u2014so we went and joined Nan. I walked in and\u2014it\u2019s funny what you do. The only thing I could think of was: \u201cI cut the cord when he was born. I\u2019m going to feel the last heartbeat.\u201d That\u2019s the only thing I could think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI put my hand on his chest. We didn\u2019t know how much time it would be, but it turned out to be two hours. We talked to him; we sang over him; we prayed. His big brother, who was all of 14, Braden\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014he kept saying [Emotion in voice]: \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid, Connor! Don\u2019t be afraid. Run straight to Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u201cJust run to Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Poor Brennan, being 10, was all over the room, yelling at <em>every<\/em> medical person, saying: \u201cHelp my brother! Help my brother!\u201d I was just lying in bed with him, just holding him\/singing to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So Brennan didn\u2019t understand that they couldn\u2019t do anything. We did. That created a little trauma in his heart that would last a <em>really<\/em> long time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>And I felt the last heartbeat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just go [Emotion in voice]: \u201cWhat just happened?!\u201d\u2014like: \u201cHow did we get here? This is not right!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>I\u2019ll never forget that night. Now, everybody was gone\u2014it was just Ron, and I, and the boys. You know, Connor was just sweetly laying on that bed. They had done a beautiful job taking him off of everything. I just couldn\u2019t leave\u2014I was in there by myself with the nurses and the doctors\u2014and they were doing this little memory kit of his\u2014handprints, and footprints, and a lock of his hair. [Emotion in voice] I\u2019m just looking at my 12-year-old, who\u2019s laying there. I know they were trying to encourage me to leave, but I just didn\u2019t know how to <em>leave<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon came to the threshold of the door with the other two boys. I saw my husband \/ my other two children to the left, and I saw my son laying there to the right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just felt like I was going to split in two\u2014I couldn\u2019t choose. [Emotion in voice] I kissed him from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Ron said, \u201cBabe, it\u2019s time to go.\u201d I think they literally carried me to the hotel room that night. I watched my two boys kind of getting ahead of us. Brennan grabbed for Braden\u2019s hand, and the <em>middle<\/em> was gone. I just saw this picture of, \u201cThis is how life is going to be.\u201d I literally think that was the hardest thing I\u2019ve ever done, was leaving him there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are two passages of Scripture that have come to mind as you guys have been talking. The first one, Ron, goes back to what you were talking about: \u201cThis shouldn\u2019t happen to good people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think about Jesus\u2019s words in the Sermon on the Mount, where He says He causes the sun to rise on the just and the unjust; the rain to fall on the good and the evil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur ways are not God\u2019s ways. We can\u2019t know the mind and the purposes of God in situations like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that brings the other Scripture to mind, which is the one that says: \u201cWe grieve, but not as people without hope.\u201d The grief is real; and I would think, not only real, but almost unbearable if there was not a hope attached to it. The hope has to be just as real as the grief.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes; it does. This is such a tangled web of emotions, from high to low, questions, doubts, anger, hurt, trust. It is the valley of the shadow of death.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It is a dark, dark road. The only way we\u2019ve been able to sustain life and moving forward, I think, has come in the form of love and compassion from others that have walked the journey\u2014that are further ahead of us. We can borrow from their hope. We\u2019ve learned to pass that along to the other people that we\u2014unfortunately or are blessed\u2014I\u2019m not sure how to say that\u2014have been able to minister to since 2009, when our journey began. It is an <em>ugly<\/em>, <em>ugly<\/em> road; and it\u2019s <em>lonely<\/em>, and it\u2019s difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>And it\u2019s <em>your<\/em> journey. People can stand on the wayside and hand you a cup of cold water\u2014you can have people on the journey with you\u2014but you inevitably have to do it yourself, and you have to figure out your <em>own<\/em> way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can be very exhausting and very isolating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Nan, as you were talking, I was reflecting back on my granddaughter, Molly, who died ten years ago. The valley of the shadow of death is real; and in those moments, a young couple like you\u2014or maybe the listener knows someone, right now, who needs a burden bearer\u2014no; you can\u2019t take it off of them, but you can bear their burden <em>with<\/em> them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can just remind them of the truth that God is a God of love\u2014not trite words\u2014but frankly, in these moments, it\u2019s best that less is said and more hugs are expressed; because a couple, like you, going through this\u2014the ugliness of it\u2014there really are no words except God\u2019s words that matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And those hugs become cups of cold water that we are giving to people, who are parched as they walk down a path of grief. You\u2019re right; that matters more than any words we can share. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlthough, I know, Dennis, you have offered a book to a lot of people, who have been on a path of grief. It\u2019s a book that God used in your life and in Barbara\u2019s life when your granddaughter, Molly, died. It\u2019s a book called <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>, written by Jerry Sittser. It\u2019s a book that we keep in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. If you know someone, who is going through a difficult season\u2014who is facing loss\u2014this is a book that will help them just process their own grief and to see God\u2019s grace in the middle of it. We have copies of Jerry Sittser\u2019s book, <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014order it from us online if you\u2019d like\u2014or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of our goals, here, at FamilyLife, as we share stories like this\u2014we want to, not only minister to those who are in a season of grief, but we want to encourage everyone, who\u2019s listening, to be aware of the people around you, who are in difficult seasons; and to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those people. We want to equip you with books, like the one I just mentioned \/ with resources you can share with others. You know hurting people around you, and God wants to use <em>you<\/em> in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, we want to be a part of that journey with you. We want to provide you with resources and help and hope that is both practical and biblical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s our goal with this daily radio program\u2014you may want to share the link for today\u2019s program with somebody you know\u2014or the resources we offer \/ the events we host. All that we do, here, at FamilyLife has this goal in mind\u2014to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We want to partner with you as you seek to do that with your friends and family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who help extend the reach of this ministry. That\u2019s what you do every time you make a donation to support the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Your donations help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program, along with all that we do, here, at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to express our thanks by sending you a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s our gift to you when you go online and make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to hear from Ron and Nan Deal about how they adjusted, as a family, to life without Connor present among them. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:31:04"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["28.44M"],"filesize_raw":["29819098"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300301.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300301.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Nan Deal walk us through the events in 2009 that took the life of their 12-year old son, Connor. The Deals tells how their family got through this tremendous loss.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-07-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What we really believe about God and about life comes out when we\u2019re facing hardship. When Ron and Nan Deal\u2019s son, Connor, got sick, and it was serious, Ron realized that he had some faulty ideas buried deep in his thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I realized that one of the things I <em>assumed<\/em> about him getting well was that we were good people; and good things happen to good people, and God is faithful to good people. I just kind of thought that earned us something. I would have <em>never<\/em> articulated that; but I <em>really<\/em> had to wrestle with that notion afterwards, because I started reading the Book of Job. I didn\u2019t realize I believed that, but I <em>did<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, July 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Ron and Nan Deal join us today to share with us their son\u2019s story\u2014Connor\u2019s story\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and to share with us how God is with you, even in the valley of the shadow of death. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We have been invited in today to what I think this a pretty sacred place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have by a pair of very good friends. Ron and Nan Deal join us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I say, \u201cagain,\u201d because Ron is heard quite frequently, here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Ron\/Nan, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Our listeners know Ron, Bob, because he heads up FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He has given leadership to that since 2012. He and Nan have been married since 1986. I\u2019m tempted to get into that story\u2014[Laughter]\u2014about how a couple of near-teenagers got married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019ll save that for another day. They have three sons; and they, not only give leadership, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, to FamilyLife Blended, but they\u2019re also involved with Touch a Life Foundation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI guess I just want to cut to the chase, as Bob has talked about here. When did you guys know there was a health issue with your son, Connor?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Connor is our middle son. When he was 12 years of age\u2014the boys were 10, 12, and 14 at the time\u2014Nan and I went on a date one Saturday afternoon. We went home, and Connor had a headache. We did what all parents do\u2014we gave him two ibuprofen, and sent him to bed a little early, and imagined that he would feel better the next day\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014just a standard little headache \/ not feeling well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right, and then it went to kind of a cough; no fever yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI took him to an urgent care the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>And they diagnosed him with croup, which was\u2014you know, for a 12-year-old\u2014I remember the doctor that was taking care of him said, \u201cThis is kind of unusual, but let\u2019s give him a breathing treatment.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget this, and neither will our younger son. That doctor slapped him on the shoulder and said, \u201cIn about 24 hours you\u2019re going to feel like a million bucks.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At what point did you start to go, \u201cThis may be more than just a common cold\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>We went from home to an urgent care, to the hospital in Amarillo, to him and I being on a plane, flown from Amarillo to Dallas Children\u2019s Hospital. At this point, he has pneumonia, and\u2014you know, older people and little babies get pneumonia; but he\u2019s 12, and he\u2019s going to be fine. I could never go to, \u201cThis is really severe.\u201d I just <em>knew<\/em> we were going to get the care that we needed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We went from headache to croup to pneumonia pretty quickly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you did too\u2014this was like 48 hours, from headache to pneumonia?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Well, really, there was a week\u2019s span in there: Saturday, he has a headache; Sunday, she takes him to the urgent care; by Monday, he\u2019s starting to run a fever; on Tuesday morning, we call our family physician.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right; we met him at the hospital, and he was being admitted that day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes; immediately. They did a chest X-ray and said, \u201cHe has pneumonia in one lung; it\u2019s started in the other lung.\u201d But we still didn\u2019t know <em>why<\/em>. We still didn\u2019t know what was causing it all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>I have to repeat what Nan said; we never thought, \u201cOur son\u2019s going to die.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>We just didn\u2019t think that. People came and prayed over him; and the Bible says, you know, prayer of the righteous will heal the sick\u2014we were just <em>confident<\/em> of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDay after day after day, we\u2019d get a little more information. We went in the hospital on Tuesday; I think it was on Thursday that they finally had a diagnosis\u2014he had MRSA. He had somehow contracted a MRSA staph infection that was septic in his bloodstream\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it was causing the pneumonia; it was causing organ failure. They began to tell us how serious this was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Let\u2019s go back two days; because as soon as we took him into the hospital and they found that pneumonia, it wasn\u2019t too long after that they were trying to give him a breathing treatment. He just was going crazy with it\u2014it was causing a lot of anxiety\u2014and so they put him in a coma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>immediately<\/em> started journaling what was happening to him. We never left him for any procedure that was done\u2014whenever they intubated him with, or any IV, or any kind of treatment he had. I was journaling it all for him; because I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s going to wake up in a few days and he\u2019s\u2026\u2014or when they kept saying\u2014\u201cWell, now, we\u2019re going to put him on this and this,\u201d \u201cNow, we\u2019re going to Dallas,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cHe\u2019s going to miss a whole week of life! I need to be able to tell him what was going on.\u201d That was, for <em>me<\/em>\u2014as a mom\u2014I needed to do that. I just <em>needed<\/em> to be that voice for him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ron, you, as a husband, are caring for a mom as well as your son at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did you handle the trauma that Nan was going through, being helpless to help Connor, at the same time you\u2019re processing your own emotions of feeling helpless to help Connor as well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Not very well. I have to say\u2014you know, it was a bit of a blur; and at the same time, I was confident that the Lord was going to heal him\u2014that Connor was going to have a testimony out of this \/ that God would get glory for it\u2014all of those things that you just naturally <em>assume<\/em> about how this is going to work out. Like Nan said, we just <em>never<\/em> went to that place that said\u2014even when they said, \u201cWe need you to know this is very serious,\u201d\u2014kind of heard it; but it didn\u2019t really take heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>I was the one, saying: \u201cI will not leave his side. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI will not go eat. I will not sleep until he sleeps. I\u2019m going to see every procedure, every needle that goes in his arm, every X-ray that they take. You [Ron] are managing family \/ our other two boys.\u201d I was hunkered down for the long haul. I didn\u2019t leave the room, and they were getting really worried about me\u2014I wasn\u2019t showering\/eating\u2014I wasn\u2019t going to leave my son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, Tuesday, he enters the hospital; Wednesday\/Thursday we get a diagnosis; Friday, they say: \u201cThis is a long-term recovery. He can recover; but not here, at this hospital; we have limitations. We need to get him to Children\u2019s Hospital in Dallas, where they have much better facilities; but there are no beds.\u201d I\u2019ll never forget them saying, \u201cYou might want to pray that a bed opens up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSaturday, came back to us, and they said, \u201cA bed has opened.\u201d She ended up flying with him to Dallas. I drove with my oldest son to Dallas; we all met there. He [Connor] survived the flight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>I\u2019ll never forget the technician\u2014there were two of us. It was so cold in there\u2014two of us, and Connor and I, and then the pilot. The pilot said, \u201cCan I fly at 11,000 feet?\u201d and they said: \u201cNo. This boy is delicate. <em>Nine<\/em> thousand feet.\u201d I couldn\u2019t, in my mind, go there\u2014not understanding the <em>delicacy<\/em> of it\u2014and yet, I watched them take him from his hospital room to that plane, and from the bed to the gurney; and it took like three hours. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget\u2014you know, it was a five-hour drive for you; maybe a 45-minute flight for me\u2014and we met at the same time. It just took <em>forever<\/em> to get him from one hospital to the other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m hearing you describe your emotional optimism, both of you, in the midst of this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m relating\u2014I\u2019m, by nature, optimistic. I\u2019ll hear something like this and, like you, I\u2019ll go: \u201cWell, this is going to work out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe have the best medical care in the world. You can\u2019t get a cough or a headache one day and have it be critically serious.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m thinking to myself, \u201cIs that my own sense of denial kicking in\u2014that I\u2019m not more sobered?\u2014or am I having a realistic appraisal?\u201d because most of these things do work out \/ most of the time, kids get better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Right. I think it went to <em>severe<\/em> when they put him on ECMO, which is a lung bypass machine for both of the lungs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Where did that happen, Amarillo or Dallas?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That was in Dallas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Dallas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; after you\u2019ve been there for a day or two?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014for a day. They put him on lung bypass and, I\u2019ll add, heart bypass. They didn\u2019t want his internal organs working at all; they wanted to do all the work for him. I mean, there\u2019s a lot of stuff keeping him alive. The idea was his lungs would eventually heal. It might take four to six weeks; but he\u2019s going to be right here, on this bed, and that\u2019s where this is going to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. And all of this was\u2014I mean, you\u2019re asking, \u201cSo what caused this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd they\u2019re saying, \u201cIt\u2019s this MRSA infection\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014that\u2019s spinning off and ruining his internal organs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And the next question is: \u201cHow did he get this infection, out in west Texas, somewhere, when nobody else has it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>We still don\u2019t know. There\u2019s no way of knowing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t this bacteria found in common places where people visit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes; unfortunately, we\u2019ve learned a lot about MRSA. I didn\u2019t know this, at the time; but MRSA used to be that thing you got when you went in the hospital and, then, you got this infection on top of what you went in there for. That\u2019s what they call the \u201chospital-borne MRSA\u201d\u2014it still exists. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there is <em>now<\/em> a community-borne MRSA\u2014and how you get it \/ where you get it\u2014who knows? Connor was our healthiest child, and he was our kind of germaphobe\u2014I mean, he was our kid\u2014washed his hands all the time \/ was really careful in public restrooms about what he touched and what he didn\u2019t\u2014he still got it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, Bob mentioned your emotional hope. I also heard, as you were talking, for both of you, that your faith in God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the knowledge of who He is \/ what the Scripture tells us about how God loves us and how He loves our children\u2014that also brought the hope; didn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Absolutely. I realized that one of the things I <em>assumed<\/em> about him getting well was that we were good people; and good things happen to good people, and God is faithful to good people. I just kind of thought that earned us something. I would have <em>never<\/em> articulated that; but I <em>really<\/em> had to wrestle with that notion afterwards, because I started reading the Book of Job, because he believed the same thing and all his friends did as well. I didn\u2019t realize I believed that, but I <em>did<\/em>\u2014you just <em>assume<\/em> that it\u2019s going to be okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe get Connor settled. They put him on this ECMO machine \/ this lung bypass machine. It\u2019s now been nine days since he first had a headache. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the tenth day, they actually said: \u201cWe want to try to lift Connor out of the coma a little bit. Would you go and talk to him? Let\u2019s see how he responds.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo on Tuesday morning, the tenth day that he was sick, I went over and whispered in his ear and held his hand. [Emotion in voice] He squeezed my hand, and a little tear ran down his cheek. We were like, \u201cOkay; he\u2019s still there!\u201d That was our first indication, because they had had him in a coma. We were telling him: \u201cIt\u2019s okay. We\u2019re here. We\u2019re praying for you.\u201d Nan squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>We started singing to him and just the tears rolled down as he grabbed for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Big brother got squeezed. About that time they came to us and they said, \u201cWell, you know, his heart rate\u2019s going up a little bit and his blood pressure. We really want to keep that at a good level, so why don\u2019t we give him a little break? You guys have done a great job here.\u201d And we said, \u201cOkay; we\u2019ll step out of the room.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome friends were visiting; and so we said, \u201cLet\u2019s just grab some lunch with them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>That was one of the first times I <em>left<\/em>; because they were like: \u201cOkay; you\u2019ve gone this <em>whole<\/em> long time without leaving. You need to go and give him a break. He\u2019s worn out,\u201d and \u201cHe\u2019s worn out, with you, Mom. So go take care of yourself; come back.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we were gone\u2014what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u201445 minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u201445 minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>We walked right in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014and everything was gone in the room\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>He wasn\u2019t there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014our son; the ECMO machine, which is ginormous\u2014and I just went screaming down the hallway, going, \u201cWhere is he?\u201d They said, \u201cWell, we\u2019ve taken him for a CAT scan.\u201d This is a Tuesday; and I said, \u201cHe\u2019s not scheduled for one till Friday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Then they kind of ushered us into a little side room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014to a waiting room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u2014to wait for some doctors to come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>And as soon as they came in, I knew <em>exactly<\/em> what they were going to say. I just told them not to tell me\u2014I just said: \u201cI don\u2019t want to hear it. I don\u2019t want you to tell me.\u201d I walked out of the room to go be with my son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Then I heard them explain that, in the short time that we were gone, something changed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt turns out the MRSA had also made him susceptible, and he got the flu. It was causing bleeding in the brain, and they couldn\u2019t stop it. It was only a matter of time that\u2014he would die in the brain\u2014brain dead, first\u2014and then his heart would stop. It was inevitable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ran outside and grabbed our other two boys\u2014[Emotion in voice]\u2014told them their brother was dying and we needed to go and be with him\u2014so we went and joined Nan. I walked in and\u2014it\u2019s funny what you do. The only thing I could think of was: \u201cI cut the cord when he was born. I\u2019m going to feel the last heartbeat.\u201d That\u2019s the only thing I could think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI put my hand on his chest. We didn\u2019t know how much time it would be, but it turned out to be two hours. We talked to him; we sang over him; we prayed. His big brother, who was all of 14, Braden\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>\u2014he kept saying [Emotion in voice]: \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid, Connor! Don\u2019t be afraid. Run straight to Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u201cJust run to Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Poor Brennan, being 10, was all over the room, yelling at <em>every<\/em> medical person, saying: \u201cHelp my brother! Help my brother!\u201d I was just lying in bed with him, just holding him\/singing to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So Brennan didn\u2019t understand that they couldn\u2019t do anything. We did. That created a little trauma in his heart that would last a <em>really<\/em> long time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>And I felt the last heartbeat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just go [Emotion in voice]: \u201cWhat just happened?!\u201d\u2014like: \u201cHow did we get here? This is not right!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>I\u2019ll never forget that night. Now, everybody was gone\u2014it was just Ron, and I, and the boys. You know, Connor was just sweetly laying on that bed. They had done a beautiful job taking him off of everything. I just couldn\u2019t leave\u2014I was in there by myself with the nurses and the doctors\u2014and they were doing this little memory kit of his\u2014handprints, and footprints, and a lock of his hair. [Emotion in voice] I\u2019m just looking at my 12-year-old, who\u2019s laying there. I know they were trying to encourage me to leave, but I just didn\u2019t know how to <em>leave<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon came to the threshold of the door with the other two boys. I saw my husband \/ my other two children to the left, and I saw my son laying there to the right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just felt like I was going to split in two\u2014I couldn\u2019t choose. [Emotion in voice] I kissed him from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Ron said, \u201cBabe, it\u2019s time to go.\u201d I think they literally carried me to the hotel room that night. I watched my two boys kind of getting ahead of us. Brennan grabbed for Braden\u2019s hand, and the <em>middle<\/em> was gone. I just saw this picture of, \u201cThis is how life is going to be.\u201d I literally think that was the hardest thing I\u2019ve ever done, was leaving him there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are two passages of Scripture that have come to mind as you guys have been talking. The first one, Ron, goes back to what you were talking about: \u201cThis shouldn\u2019t happen to good people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think about Jesus\u2019s words in the Sermon on the Mount, where He says He causes the sun to rise on the just and the unjust; the rain to fall on the good and the evil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur ways are not God\u2019s ways. We can\u2019t know the mind and the purposes of God in situations like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that brings the other Scripture to mind, which is the one that says: \u201cWe grieve, but not as people without hope.\u201d The grief is real; and I would think, not only real, but almost unbearable if there was not a hope attached to it. The hope has to be just as real as the grief.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes; it does. This is such a tangled web of emotions, from high to low, questions, doubts, anger, hurt, trust. It is the valley of the shadow of death.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>It is a dark, dark road. The only way we\u2019ve been able to sustain life and moving forward, I think, has come in the form of love and compassion from others that have walked the journey\u2014that are further ahead of us. We can borrow from their hope. We\u2019ve learned to pass that along to the other people that we\u2014unfortunately or are blessed\u2014I\u2019m not sure how to say that\u2014have been able to minister to since 2009, when our journey began. It is an <em>ugly<\/em>, <em>ugly<\/em> road; and it\u2019s <em>lonely<\/em>, and it\u2019s difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nan: <\/strong>And it\u2019s <em>your<\/em> journey. People can stand on the wayside and hand you a cup of cold water\u2014you can have people on the journey with you\u2014but you inevitably have to do it yourself, and you have to figure out your <em>own<\/em> way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can be very exhausting and very isolating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Nan, as you were talking, I was reflecting back on my granddaughter, Molly, who died ten years ago. The valley of the shadow of death is real; and in those moments, a young couple like you\u2014or maybe the listener knows someone, right now, who needs a burden bearer\u2014no; you can\u2019t take it off of them, but you can bear their burden <em>with<\/em> them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can just remind them of the truth that God is a God of love\u2014not trite words\u2014but frankly, in these moments, it\u2019s best that less is said and more hugs are expressed; because a couple, like you, going through this\u2014the ugliness of it\u2014there really are no words except God\u2019s words that matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And those hugs become cups of cold water that we are giving to people, who are parched as they walk down a path of grief. You\u2019re right; that matters more than any words we can share. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlthough, I know, Dennis, you have offered a book to a lot of people, who have been on a path of grief. It\u2019s a book that God used in your life and in Barbara\u2019s life when your granddaughter, Molly, died. It\u2019s a book called <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>, written by Jerry Sittser. It\u2019s a book that we keep in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. If you know someone, who is going through a difficult season\u2014who is facing loss\u2014this is a book that will help them just process their own grief and to see God\u2019s grace in the middle of it. We have copies of Jerry Sittser\u2019s book, <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014order it from us online if you\u2019d like\u2014or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of our goals, here, at FamilyLife, as we share stories like this\u2014we want to, not only minister to those who are in a season of grief, but we want to encourage everyone, who\u2019s listening, to be aware of the people around you, who are in difficult seasons; and to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those people. We want to equip you with books, like the one I just mentioned \/ with resources you can share with others. You know hurting people around you, and God wants to use <em>you<\/em> in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, we want to be a part of that journey with you. We want to provide you with resources and help and hope that is both practical and biblical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s our goal with this daily radio program\u2014you may want to share the link for today\u2019s program with somebody you know\u2014or the resources we offer \/ the events we host. All that we do, here, at FamilyLife has this goal in mind\u2014to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We want to partner with you as you seek to do that with your friends and family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who help extend the reach of this ministry. That\u2019s what you do every time you make a donation to support the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Your donations help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program, along with all that we do, here, at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to express our thanks by sending you a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s our gift to you when you go online and make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to donate\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to hear from Ron and Nan Deal about how they adjusted, as a family, to life without Connor present among them. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300301"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300301"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300301"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300301"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}