{"id":300283,"date":"2018-06-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/is-anxiety-a-sin\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:28","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:28","slug":"is-anxiety-a-sin","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/is-anxiety-a-sin\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Anxiety a Sin?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Matthew Stanford | Series: Grace for the Afflicted | Are you an anxious person? Psychologist Matthew Stanford talks about complexities of anxiety disorders, which include panic disorders, separation anxiety, and OCD disorder. Stanford tells how a person can know if they need to see a psychologist, and explains how God has put a system in us that is fight or flight. If a tiger walked in the room we would express anxiety, but to a person with an anxiety disorder, that stress is ongoing, even when the tiger isn&#8217;t there. Stanford coaches parents whose son or daughter might have a mental disorder on how to proceed. Show Notes &#038; ResourcesHope and Healing Center: Transforming Lives, Restoring Hope<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Psychologist Matthew Stanford talks about complexities of anxiety disorders. Stanford coaches parents whose son or daughter might have a mental disorder on how to proceed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-27.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:29","filesize":"26.08M","filesize_raw":"27350286","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2846,2873,2855],"tags":[4092,4432,4431,4434,4435,4433],"podcast_series":[7225],"cwp_profile":[8838],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300283","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-depression","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","category-teens","tag-anxiety-disorder","tag-compassion","tag-mental-disorders","tag-mental-illness","tag-ocd","tag-spiritual-needs","podcast_series-grace-for-the-afflicted","cwp_profile-matthew-stanford","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300283\/is-anxiety-a-sin","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300283\/is-anxiety-a-sin","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"sDGYbESaAE\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/is-anxiety-a-sin\/\">Is Anxiety a Sin?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/is-anxiety-a-sin\/embed\/#?secret=sDGYbESaAE\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Is Anxiety a Sin?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"sDGYbESaAE\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you know somebody who wrestles with high levels of anxiety? Is it right to tell that person, \u201cYou just need to believe what it says in Philippians 4: \u2018Be anxious for nothing\u2026\u2019\u201d?\u2014or is it that too simplistic? That\u2019s a question we asked Matthew Stanford.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew: <\/strong>You know, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s too simplistic; because that\u2019s God\u2019s Word, and that\u2019s what it says. I think the question we have to ask our self is: \u201cWhat does Paul mean when he says, \u2018Do not be anxious...\u2019? Was he talking about OCD? Was he talking about generalizing anxiety disorder?\u2014or panic disorder?\u201d No! He\u2019s talking to normal-functioning Christians; and they\u2019re really worried that they\u2019re not actually going to be able to maintain their faith or that God\u2019s not going to be faithful to them. Really, I think that\u2019s the difference there. Paul is talking about the worry of God not being faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday June 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We need to think clearly about issues related to mental illnesses and about how the Bible speaks to those issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll get some clarity from Matthew Stanford today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I hope some families are getting some encouragement\/some enlightenment from the conversation we are having this week; because we know that mental health issues\u2014well, it\u2019s like a grenade going off inside a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; when it goes off, it leaves debris and wounded humans in the process. We have a guest with us today who\u2019s written a book called <em>Grace for the Afflicted<\/em>. This is really a book for both those who have mental and emotional disorders but, also, the families and spouses that are impacted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; in fact, the moms and the dads\u2014or the husbands and wives, who are in families with folks with disorders\u2014they are the ones who are going to benefit the most from reading this book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; and Dr. Matthew Stanford joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Matthew, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He is the CEO of the Hope and Healing Center and Institute in Houston, Texas. He and his wife Julie have been married since 1990\u2014have four children. He has a long history of clinical studies and teaching at Baylor Medical Center in Houston. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve talked about depression; we\u2019ve talked about suicide; learning disorders or not being able to sit still; kids who are being over-prescribed. You say that the issue of anxiety is also one of the top emotional disorders in our country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Yes; behind depression, anxiety is your second most common mental health problem that people in the population encounter\u2014\u2014that\u2019s a number of disorders\u2014that\u2019s everything from generalize anxiety disorder, which is kind of a varying anxiety that kind of moves from thing to thing\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you might be worried about physical health and then you might be worrying about your job\u2014I mean, worrying at a level that causes you to not be functional. You begin to have panic attacks, which are kind of an overwhelming physiological response, where your heart pounds and you sweat; you feel like you\u2019re having a heart attack. It\u2019s not just worry; it\u2019s an <em>overwhelming sense<\/em> of anxiety that causes you not to function\u2014that\u2019s generalizing anxiety disorder. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt might be something like an adjustment disorder; or a separation anxiety, where children are separated from their parents or separated from a situation\u2014again, they have that overwhelming anxiety; or panic disorder, where you have recurrent panic attacks over and over; or obsessive compulsive disorder, where you have obsessions and compulsive obsessions, or kind of odd thoughts that you have\u2014like, for instance, you might think that: \u201cSomething bad is going to happen if I don\u2019t count all the ceiling tiles\u2026\u201d\u2014I had a student, when I was at the University of New Orleans\u2014he would count all the ceiling tiles over, and over, and over; because he was afraid something bad would happen if he didn\u2019t do that. Again, it\u2019s a compulsion that you <em>have<\/em> to do it; because, if you don\u2019t do it, you become so anxious that you\u2019re not able to function. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So somebody who says they\u2019re OCD\u2014I remember, when my son was in high school, he liked to keep his room straight \/ keep his clothes in order. One of his classmates said \u201cWell, you\u2019re OCD!\u201d He started to think: \u201cMaybe I am. Maybe I need to see a doctor about OCD, because I do like things in order. If they are not in order, it bothers me; it troubles me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just thinking: \u201cYou just need to relax a little bit. That\u2019s nothing to be anxious about.\u201d It was not causing him to lose sleep at night. How do we know, as parents, whether our son needs to see a child psychiatrist or whether he just needs to relax a little bit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> I think the terms, \u201cdepression\u201d and \u201cOCD\u201d are the two psychological terms that we use the most cheaply. Let\u2019s say your child is a real neatnik. They come home; and you\u2019ve put a pile of unfolded clothing of theirs, that you\u2019ve washed, on their bed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, how do they handle that situation? Do they go, \u201cMom, you know I don\u2019t like this,\u201d and then they fold them and put them away. Well, that\u2019s not OCD. If they walk in and absolutely fall apart\u2014they are unable to move beyond it; they completely just kind of fall into a puddle on the floor\u2014there\u2019s emotion \/ there\u2019s a panic attack\u2014that\u2019s more like a disorder. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I mentioned earlier, I had a student, when I was at the University of New Orleans, who\u2014he had OCD. One of his obsessive thoughts was that something bad was going to happen. A compulsion that he had\u2014that he thought would offset that was\u2014he would count the ceiling tiles in the classroom when he would come into class. The problem is that, once he counted them once he was concerned that he had not counted them correctly; and if he didn\u2019t count them correctly, something bad was going to happen. So the entire class he would sit and count them over, and over, and over again. He was failing all his classes. You couldn\u2019t just say, \u201cStop counting the ceiling tiles\u201d; because, if you did that, he would have a panic attack; because he was so worried\u2014see, <em>that\u2019s<\/em> the difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing neat\u2014that\u2019s not a problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s when that neatness causes you not to be functional within what I think of as the three domains: at your job, at school, or with relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So if somebody is counting ceiling tiles, what you\u2019re saying is: \u201cThere\u2019s something in their brain that\u2019s not working the way it\u2019s supposed to be working, and we can help with medication and therapy to fix that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Absolutely. Basically, all mental illness is either a reduction in some normal behavior or thought process, or over-production\u2014in OCD, it\u2019s an over-production. We also have normal levels of worry. God gave us a system in our body that has a stress response. You all have had tests and you got a little anxious; that was a good thing, because it made you study more. In things like that, there are good aspects to anxiety\u2014that\u2019s a God-given thing to be anxious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut with OCD, the frontal lobe of your brain is so over-active that you are over-attending to things. You get caught in this loop that you cannot get out of\u2014you may be concerned something bad is going to happen; and it is not possible for you to go through a set of mental information and say: \u201cNo, no, no; that\u2019s okay. I really know it\u2019s not going to happen,\u201d\u2014or to count the ceiling tiles one time and say: \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve counted them. There are 47; everything is good,\u201d\u2014no; you go: \u201cNo, no; I might be wrong.\u201d You\u2019re trapped in that loop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe medication that\u2019s given for OCD, and the therapeutic treatment that\u2019s given, you\u2019re actually able to help yourself get out of that loop; and you don\u2019t get caught in that loop over and over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you brought up anxiety, the first thing that comes to mind for me is Philippians, Chapter 4\u2014it says: \u201cBe anxious for nothing; in everything, through prayer and supplication, make your requests known to God; and the peace of God, which passes understanding, will keep you in Christ.\u201d I\u2019m thinking: \u201cThere it is\u2014the Bible gives us a response for anxiety: pray and God will give peace. Is that too simplistic?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> You know, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s too simplistic; because that\u2019s God\u2019s Word, and that\u2019s what it says. I think the question we have to ask our self is: \u201cWhat does Paul mean when he says, \u2018Do not be anxious for anything\u2019? Was he talking about OCD? Was he talking about generalize anxiety disorder?\u2014or panic disorder?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo! He\u2019s talking to normal-functioning Christians at the time that were questioning their role in the world \/ questioning God\u2019s role in their lives; because they were suffering persecution. They are seeing a secular, pagan society around them; and they\u2019re really worried that they\u2019re not actually going to be able to maintain their faith or that God\u2019s going to be faithful to them. So, really, that\u2019s what Paul is talking about; he\u2019s not talking about anxiety disorders.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In the Psalms, we read a lot of emotional declarations by David. Some of them, he sounds depressed; others, he sounds like maybe he had a problem with anxiety\u2014he said, \u201cHis anxiety was multiplied before Him.\u201d Did he suffer, do you think, from emotional disorders?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> What\u2019s nice about David is, we don\u2019t only have historical narrative <em>about<\/em> him, we have his own actual writings about what he\u2019s thinking and feeling. You\u2019re right; the majority of his Psalms are laments. He talks <em>regularly<\/em> about depressive symptoms and anxiety. Depression and anxiety go, hand in hand. It\u2019s rare to find a client, who has major depressive disorder and doesn\u2019t have an anxiety issue also\u2014or has an anxiety issue and doesn\u2019t have depression on top of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think David struggled with depression, particularly in the latter half of his reign. In fact, I think it even brings to light some of the\u2014and you can send all of your upset email to me. You don\u2019t have to send them to them when I tell you this. [Laughter] I think, in some of the stories we look at, we kind of wonder: \u201cWhy did this happen?\u201d \u201cWhy did that happen?\u201d I\u2019ll give you this one, for instance. When it says that \u201cIn a time when kings went out to wage war, David stayed home,\u201d it also talks about, at that exact same time, he was having trouble sleeping; so he\u2019s wandering around the top of the palace. That\u2019s when he saw Bathsheba.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I look at that\u2014and I think about all the other things that I\u2019ve seen in the context of him describing his depression\/anxiety\u2014I see a man that was struggling to reign. He couldn\u2019t go out and do what he was supposed to do, as king. Insomnia is a very common symptom of depression\u2014and so is adopting negative coping strategies, such as promiscuity or substance abuse\u2014things like that\u2014to try to deal with the negative feelings associated with depression. Maybe that helps us understand why he did what he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t make him not culpable\u2014he\u2019s absolutely culpable for any sin that he committed\u2014but maybe it helps us understand why, in the time when kings went out to war, David stayed home\u2014it gives no explanation for that. Again, I think he has a lot of descriptions of depressive and anxiety symptoms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe most important part, I think, that can be learned from that in the Scriptures, is this\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that in a time, when there was actually no understanding of depression \/ no treatment for it, when David was at his darkest and lowest moments, you see, in those Psalms\u2014where he describes all this kind of paranoia, and darkness, and anxiety, and fear\u2014and then he says this: \u201c\u2026but this I hold onto\u2026\u201d\u2014he holds onto the promises of God. That\u2019s what moves him forward, and gives him hope, and allows him to move on to the next day. I think that\u2019s a powerful message for us all\u2014that is that that hope is the foundation for change that we still have today. It\u2019s a hope that we should connect all of our clients, and those who struggle with these problems, to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Speak to parents, who may have a teenage son or daughter \/ maybe an adult child, who is demonstrating a mental disorder; perhaps anxiety\/depression. What would you coach them to do? At what point would you encourage them to seek, perhaps, medical help?\u2014a prescribed drug to deal with it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> A parent knows their child better than anyone else. If a teacher comes to you\u2014or a Sunday school teacher or a coach\u2014and says, \u201cI think there\u2019s something going on with your child,\u201d\u2014I would definitely look into that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut a parent knows their child better than anyone else, because you\u2019re with them more often. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, secondly, you do not want to jump to the conclusion that there\u2019s something wrong with your child just because your child may have displayed a wrong behavior or someone thought they weren\u2019t feeling something the way they should have been feeling it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirdly, you do not want to ever give someone a psychiatric medication that alters their brain chemistry unless they have the illness of that medication is expected to treat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what I would say, first and foremost\u2014If someone comes to you or you think your child is struggling with something\u2014because, as I said, they are affected in one of those three areas\u2014in their work, in their school, in their relationships. Something is causing them not to be able to function normally in one of those three arenas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first place I would start is with a physical\u2014physical with blood work\u2014because there are a lot of physical illnesses that can look like psychiatric illnesses. A thyroid issue in a teenage girl can look just like anxiety, so I would go and get a physical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf nothing came of that, I would then ask my pediatrician or physician if they can give a referral to a child psychologist\u2014if it\u2019s a teenager or a child. Then I would go to that individual and say that I would like my child assessed to determine what\u2019s going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the misconceptions about psychology and psychiatry is that we kind of like just walk into a room and kind of <em>guess<\/em> what the problem is. We have assessments \/ we have tests to be able to determine what\u2019s going on. You can go to a child psychologist. In fact, one of the things I say is: \u201cIf you were in a town or you\u2019re near a university that has a doctoral program in psychology, or even a Master\u2019s level psychology, you\u2019re likely to get a psychological assessment done on your child or teen at a reduced rate, much like if you go to a medical school; because students are doing it under supervision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGet an assessment; it\u2019s a report. It usually takes several hours for the assessment. Sometimes, you have to come back multiple times; but it will give you a definitive set of diagnoses and recommendations. You then can take those recommendations to a mental health care provider and then begin to move forward with treatment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a <em>process<\/em>; it\u2019s not just a kind of jump in, feet first, and you get medication, whether the person needs it or not. Get an assessment, and then you can move forward from there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What I heard you saying, clearly, to parents: \u201cDon\u2019t check your brain at the door. You know your child better than anybody. Don\u2019t get caught up in over-prescribing \/ over-assessing a behavior issue that [the child] just needs time to grow up and grow out of the phase.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Absolutely! There\u2019s a lot of variability in children. If you have more than one child, you know there is a lot of variability in children. Some children are more mature than others; some are less mature. We have to know our children\u2014be attentive to your child \/ find out what\u2019s going on with them every day. Just because a teacher said one thing or somebody on the bus said something, don\u2019t jump to the conclusion that they have a disorder. Your child may have just done something wrong, and then you can help them through that in a restorative way. It\u2019s also possible they are just a little less mature right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would have to go through a lot of steps before I would want to give my child a psychiatric medication. I would want to try everything else I could. When I say that, I mean everything else that is a reasonable treatment\u2014some type of psychotherapeutic intervention perhaps or behavior modification. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem with giving children and adolescents psychiatric medication is that their brains are in full-development phase and, now, you are bathing their brain with medication during this heavy development. Children are not just little adults; they are <em>different<\/em>. These things manifest differently in them, and they need to be treated differently. We need to be very careful with medications in children. I\u2019m not saying it isn\u2019t effective; I\u2019m just saying you want to make sure it\u2019s the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let me ask you about that; because a lot of teenagers are bathing their brains in narcotics and drugs. They are experimenting\u2014they\u2019re smoking weed, or they\u2019re taking molly, or something that their friends recommend to them. You mentioned there\u2019s a relationship between addictions and psychiatric behaviors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAny parent\u2014who knows their child is taking drugs or doing drugs, recreationally, with their friends\u2014is concerned about that. Should they wonder if there is some underlying psychological issue or psychiatric issue too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Yes; I think you do have to be concerned. In about half of individuals, with a substance abuse problem, you also find underlying mental health problems; so an undiagnosed bipolar, or depression, or something. The person is using substances as a negative coping strategy to deal or self-medicate with the issue. I think most of our treatment, unfortunately, is focused solely on the addiction; so you don\u2019t get a dual-diagnoses approach, where the addiction and the other problem are treated. That\u2019s where we have a lot of really kind of incomplete treatment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have a teen that\u2019s using, I think, again, don\u2019t lose your head. You know, If your teen smoked marijuana one time\u2014yes, that\u2019s a bad thing; and you need to take it into account\u2014but that\u2019s not an addiction. You don\u2019t need to try to drive off and run your child down to the addiction treatment center because you found out he did that one time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you need to find out how much is being used, how often it is being used, what\u2019s being used. I think you do need to connect with a mental health care provider, because a mental health care provider can provide you with expertise that you don\u2019t have. Think about it this way\u2014if you brought your loved one to me and you said, \u201cDr. Stanford, can you help us understand if our son has an addiction problem?\u201d This may be the only person you\u2019ve ever interacted with that you thought had an addiction problem. I\u2019ve interacted with <em>hundreds<\/em> and <em>hundreds<\/em>. I have a little better sense than you do; plus, there\u2019s assessments that we can do and things like that. It\u2019s more than us just taking their word for it whether they are or not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the same thing with cancer, or some kind of pancreatic problem, or something like that\u2014you go to somebody that has a little bit more context and they help you figure it out. You want to bring in some providers and you want to make sure that it\u2019s not significant. If it is a significant issue, then you want to go down a route of trying to determine, as you mentioned: \u201cIs there something else going on? Is it just an addiction issue, or is there some underlying issue?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, in teens, the most common mental health issue diagnosed in teens is anxiety issues. That can manifest itself in really some pretty significant conduct problems, because the child is acting out. One of the things you have to understand is\u2014the expectations we have for our children today are so extreme. There\u2019s a guy, who has been following anxiety levels in children for, probably, since the \u201840s. What he finds is, today\u2014that the anxiety level in teens today are the same of what you would find in psychiatric patients in the \u201840s and the \u201850s. The expectations we have on our children are really unrealistic, and it\u2019s crushing them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere are we seeing our highest increase in mental health problems?\u2014adolescents. Where are we seeing our highest increase in suicides?\u2014adolescents. We really need to step back and we need to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is the most important thing for our teen? Is the most important thing that we make sure they are in the top ten percent of their class so they can get into a certain college? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs it more important that they have value and worth in who they are in Christ?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs it super important that they get an \u201cA\u201d in this class?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf they are really trying their hardest, and they get a \u201cC,\u201d is that the school\u2019s fault?\u2014or is that just, maybe, my son\u2014that\u2019s the best he can do, because we do vary in our levels of intelligence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need to step back, as parents\u2014and I have to remind myself of this, all the time, myself\u2014and we have to say: \u201cWhat is most important? The most important thing is that my children recognize that they are loved by God, and that they have an opportunity to be in relationship with Him forever.\u201d All the other stuff is gravy. And yes; if a mental health problem comes along, that\u2019s still true; but I\u2019m going to pursue the process of getting them better. I don\u2019t want to just jump to conclusions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd remember, as a final thing\u2014medication is no magic bullet. It does <em>not<\/em> cure mental health problems; it only minimizes symptoms. You need a broader, more holistic approach to care. You want to try to minimize the amount of medication you use. Just like anything, you want to try other options as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s one last thing I want to ask you about and that\u2019s pornography. Teenagers\u2014anxiety, growing up and becoming a young man\/a young lady\u2014lots of emotions \/ lots of temptations. What do parents need to be on the lookout for and what can they do, simply?\u2014because we\u2019re about out of time here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> I think, number one, pornography is such an issue now; it\u2019s almost uncommon to find someone who hasn\u2019t been exposed to it, as a teenager. Girls are on the up-rise. Again, you have to engage and find out what the extent of the use it: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid they just look at it a few times, because their friends are looking at it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo they have a <em>draw<\/em> to it, where they are doing it regularly? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow is it affecting their relationships? How is it affecting their perceptions of women and things like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you really have to get in there and ask. Again, pornography is a very common negative coping strategy to deal with depression\/anxiety. When people don\u2019t feel well, they try to find things that will make them feel <em>better<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Why<\/em> is your child looking at pornography? Is it a sex issue?\u2014is it a maturation issue?\u2014or is it a mental health issue?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that is where being a parent, and providing the love and the spiritual guidance\u2014and I might say: \u201cBe on the lookout for great small groups, led by adults in your church, for young people. They need other adults speaking into their lives, spiritually, in the midst of community.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatthew, I want to thank you for your work, and all that you are doing there, and specifically for your book, <em>Grace for the Afflicted<\/em>. I think this is going to be a great book for a lot parents and, also, for a lot of families, who are dealing with family members struggling with mental health issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Of course, we\u2019ve got the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe author is Matthew Stanford. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about ordering the book, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. If you want to find out more about what Matthew is doing in Houston, and about the Hope and Healing Center, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. We have a link available there as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have heard from a lot of listeners this week, who have been greatly helped by our conversations on these subjects, and who have already contacted us, Matthew, to get a copy of your book. I think\u2014about these kinds of discussions and these kinds of conversations\u2014people often feel lonely and isolated and like there\u2019s no place to turn when they\u2019re facing issues like this. Everybody goes and Google<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>s something. You never know what you\u2019re getting when you just Google something and get random results. But I\u2019ve been encouraged by the people, who have gotten in touch with us to say: \u201cThank you for having these kinds of conversations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThank you for the help it has provided for our family, just to hear these issues acknowledged and talked about.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatthew, I\u2019ve appreciated the coaching for those of us, who may not be dealing with this first-hand, but we know friends or people at church who are\u2014how we can be more compassionate and more understanding about what they are going through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, our goal is to provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family. We are able to accomplish that goal, because we have partners who make this possible. We have monthly Legacy Partners; and we have regular listeners who will, from time to time, make a donation to help advance this work. We are grateful for those of you who do partner with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you are a longtime listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation, why don\u2019t you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and pitch in and help expand the work of FamilyLife through your donation? Or you can call to donate\u2014our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329 \/ 1-800-\u201cF\u201d\u2019 as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, our colleague, Ron Deal, is going to join us. We\u2019re going to do a little check-up. We\u2019ve got some friends, Robbie and Sabrina McDonald, who are in a blended family. We\u2019re going to find out how their blended family journey is going. They\u2019ve been here before, and we\u2019re just keeping tabs on the challenges they\u2019re facing, through the years, in creating a healthy blended family. I hope you tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:29"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.08M"],"filesize_raw":["27350286"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300283.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300283.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Matthew Stanford talks about complexities of anxiety disorders. Stanford coaches parents whose son or daughter might have a mental disorder on how to proceed.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you know somebody who wrestles with high levels of anxiety? Is it right to tell that person, \u201cYou just need to believe what it says in Philippians 4: \u2018Be anxious for nothing\u2026\u2019\u201d?\u2014or is it that too simplistic? That\u2019s a question we asked Matthew Stanford.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew: <\/strong>You know, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s too simplistic; because that\u2019s God\u2019s Word, and that\u2019s what it says. I think the question we have to ask our self is: \u201cWhat does Paul mean when he says, \u2018Do not be anxious...\u2019? Was he talking about OCD? Was he talking about generalizing anxiety disorder?\u2014or panic disorder?\u201d No! He\u2019s talking to normal-functioning Christians; and they\u2019re really worried that they\u2019re not actually going to be able to maintain their faith or that God\u2019s not going to be faithful to them. Really, I think that\u2019s the difference there. Paul is talking about the worry of God not being faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday June 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We need to think clearly about issues related to mental illnesses and about how the Bible speaks to those issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll get some clarity from Matthew Stanford today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I hope some families are getting some encouragement\/some enlightenment from the conversation we are having this week; because we know that mental health issues\u2014well, it\u2019s like a grenade going off inside a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; when it goes off, it leaves debris and wounded humans in the process. We have a guest with us today who\u2019s written a book called <em>Grace for the Afflicted<\/em>. This is really a book for both those who have mental and emotional disorders but, also, the families and spouses that are impacted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; in fact, the moms and the dads\u2014or the husbands and wives, who are in families with folks with disorders\u2014they are the ones who are going to benefit the most from reading this book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; and Dr. Matthew Stanford joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Matthew, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He is the CEO of the Hope and Healing Center and Institute in Houston, Texas. He and his wife Julie have been married since 1990\u2014have four children. He has a long history of clinical studies and teaching at Baylor Medical Center in Houston. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve talked about depression; we\u2019ve talked about suicide; learning disorders or not being able to sit still; kids who are being over-prescribed. You say that the issue of anxiety is also one of the top emotional disorders in our country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Yes; behind depression, anxiety is your second most common mental health problem that people in the population encounter\u2014\u2014that\u2019s a number of disorders\u2014that\u2019s everything from generalize anxiety disorder, which is kind of a varying anxiety that kind of moves from thing to thing\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you might be worried about physical health and then you might be worrying about your job\u2014I mean, worrying at a level that causes you to not be functional. You begin to have panic attacks, which are kind of an overwhelming physiological response, where your heart pounds and you sweat; you feel like you\u2019re having a heart attack. It\u2019s not just worry; it\u2019s an <em>overwhelming sense<\/em> of anxiety that causes you not to function\u2014that\u2019s generalizing anxiety disorder. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt might be something like an adjustment disorder; or a separation anxiety, where children are separated from their parents or separated from a situation\u2014again, they have that overwhelming anxiety; or panic disorder, where you have recurrent panic attacks over and over; or obsessive compulsive disorder, where you have obsessions and compulsive obsessions, or kind of odd thoughts that you have\u2014like, for instance, you might think that: \u201cSomething bad is going to happen if I don\u2019t count all the ceiling tiles\u2026\u201d\u2014I had a student, when I was at the University of New Orleans\u2014he would count all the ceiling tiles over, and over, and over; because he was afraid something bad would happen if he didn\u2019t do that. Again, it\u2019s a compulsion that you <em>have<\/em> to do it; because, if you don\u2019t do it, you become so anxious that you\u2019re not able to function. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So somebody who says they\u2019re OCD\u2014I remember, when my son was in high school, he liked to keep his room straight \/ keep his clothes in order. One of his classmates said \u201cWell, you\u2019re OCD!\u201d He started to think: \u201cMaybe I am. Maybe I need to see a doctor about OCD, because I do like things in order. If they are not in order, it bothers me; it troubles me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just thinking: \u201cYou just need to relax a little bit. That\u2019s nothing to be anxious about.\u201d It was not causing him to lose sleep at night. How do we know, as parents, whether our son needs to see a child psychiatrist or whether he just needs to relax a little bit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> I think the terms, \u201cdepression\u201d and \u201cOCD\u201d are the two psychological terms that we use the most cheaply. Let\u2019s say your child is a real neatnik. They come home; and you\u2019ve put a pile of unfolded clothing of theirs, that you\u2019ve washed, on their bed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, how do they handle that situation? Do they go, \u201cMom, you know I don\u2019t like this,\u201d and then they fold them and put them away. Well, that\u2019s not OCD. If they walk in and absolutely fall apart\u2014they are unable to move beyond it; they completely just kind of fall into a puddle on the floor\u2014there\u2019s emotion \/ there\u2019s a panic attack\u2014that\u2019s more like a disorder. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I mentioned earlier, I had a student, when I was at the University of New Orleans, who\u2014he had OCD. One of his obsessive thoughts was that something bad was going to happen. A compulsion that he had\u2014that he thought would offset that was\u2014he would count the ceiling tiles in the classroom when he would come into class. The problem is that, once he counted them once he was concerned that he had not counted them correctly; and if he didn\u2019t count them correctly, something bad was going to happen. So the entire class he would sit and count them over, and over, and over again. He was failing all his classes. You couldn\u2019t just say, \u201cStop counting the ceiling tiles\u201d; because, if you did that, he would have a panic attack; because he was so worried\u2014see, <em>that\u2019s<\/em> the difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing neat\u2014that\u2019s not a problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s when that neatness causes you not to be functional within what I think of as the three domains: at your job, at school, or with relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So if somebody is counting ceiling tiles, what you\u2019re saying is: \u201cThere\u2019s something in their brain that\u2019s not working the way it\u2019s supposed to be working, and we can help with medication and therapy to fix that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Absolutely. Basically, all mental illness is either a reduction in some normal behavior or thought process, or over-production\u2014in OCD, it\u2019s an over-production. We also have normal levels of worry. God gave us a system in our body that has a stress response. You all have had tests and you got a little anxious; that was a good thing, because it made you study more. In things like that, there are good aspects to anxiety\u2014that\u2019s a God-given thing to be anxious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut with OCD, the frontal lobe of your brain is so over-active that you are over-attending to things. You get caught in this loop that you cannot get out of\u2014you may be concerned something bad is going to happen; and it is not possible for you to go through a set of mental information and say: \u201cNo, no, no; that\u2019s okay. I really know it\u2019s not going to happen,\u201d\u2014or to count the ceiling tiles one time and say: \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve counted them. There are 47; everything is good,\u201d\u2014no; you go: \u201cNo, no; I might be wrong.\u201d You\u2019re trapped in that loop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe medication that\u2019s given for OCD, and the therapeutic treatment that\u2019s given, you\u2019re actually able to help yourself get out of that loop; and you don\u2019t get caught in that loop over and over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you brought up anxiety, the first thing that comes to mind for me is Philippians, Chapter 4\u2014it says: \u201cBe anxious for nothing; in everything, through prayer and supplication, make your requests known to God; and the peace of God, which passes understanding, will keep you in Christ.\u201d I\u2019m thinking: \u201cThere it is\u2014the Bible gives us a response for anxiety: pray and God will give peace. Is that too simplistic?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> You know, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s too simplistic; because that\u2019s God\u2019s Word, and that\u2019s what it says. I think the question we have to ask our self is: \u201cWhat does Paul mean when he says, \u2018Do not be anxious for anything\u2019? Was he talking about OCD? Was he talking about generalize anxiety disorder?\u2014or panic disorder?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo! He\u2019s talking to normal-functioning Christians at the time that were questioning their role in the world \/ questioning God\u2019s role in their lives; because they were suffering persecution. They are seeing a secular, pagan society around them; and they\u2019re really worried that they\u2019re not actually going to be able to maintain their faith or that God\u2019s going to be faithful to them. So, really, that\u2019s what Paul is talking about; he\u2019s not talking about anxiety disorders.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In the Psalms, we read a lot of emotional declarations by David. Some of them, he sounds depressed; others, he sounds like maybe he had a problem with anxiety\u2014he said, \u201cHis anxiety was multiplied before Him.\u201d Did he suffer, do you think, from emotional disorders?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> What\u2019s nice about David is, we don\u2019t only have historical narrative <em>about<\/em> him, we have his own actual writings about what he\u2019s thinking and feeling. You\u2019re right; the majority of his Psalms are laments. He talks <em>regularly<\/em> about depressive symptoms and anxiety. Depression and anxiety go, hand in hand. It\u2019s rare to find a client, who has major depressive disorder and doesn\u2019t have an anxiety issue also\u2014or has an anxiety issue and doesn\u2019t have depression on top of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think David struggled with depression, particularly in the latter half of his reign. In fact, I think it even brings to light some of the\u2014and you can send all of your upset email to me. You don\u2019t have to send them to them when I tell you this. [Laughter] I think, in some of the stories we look at, we kind of wonder: \u201cWhy did this happen?\u201d \u201cWhy did that happen?\u201d I\u2019ll give you this one, for instance. When it says that \u201cIn a time when kings went out to wage war, David stayed home,\u201d it also talks about, at that exact same time, he was having trouble sleeping; so he\u2019s wandering around the top of the palace. That\u2019s when he saw Bathsheba.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I look at that\u2014and I think about all the other things that I\u2019ve seen in the context of him describing his depression\/anxiety\u2014I see a man that was struggling to reign. He couldn\u2019t go out and do what he was supposed to do, as king. Insomnia is a very common symptom of depression\u2014and so is adopting negative coping strategies, such as promiscuity or substance abuse\u2014things like that\u2014to try to deal with the negative feelings associated with depression. Maybe that helps us understand why he did what he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t make him not culpable\u2014he\u2019s absolutely culpable for any sin that he committed\u2014but maybe it helps us understand why, in the time when kings went out to war, David stayed home\u2014it gives no explanation for that. Again, I think he has a lot of descriptions of depressive and anxiety symptoms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe most important part, I think, that can be learned from that in the Scriptures, is this\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that in a time, when there was actually no understanding of depression \/ no treatment for it, when David was at his darkest and lowest moments, you see, in those Psalms\u2014where he describes all this kind of paranoia, and darkness, and anxiety, and fear\u2014and then he says this: \u201c\u2026but this I hold onto\u2026\u201d\u2014he holds onto the promises of God. That\u2019s what moves him forward, and gives him hope, and allows him to move on to the next day. I think that\u2019s a powerful message for us all\u2014that is that that hope is the foundation for change that we still have today. It\u2019s a hope that we should connect all of our clients, and those who struggle with these problems, to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Speak to parents, who may have a teenage son or daughter \/ maybe an adult child, who is demonstrating a mental disorder; perhaps anxiety\/depression. What would you coach them to do? At what point would you encourage them to seek, perhaps, medical help?\u2014a prescribed drug to deal with it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> A parent knows their child better than anyone else. If a teacher comes to you\u2014or a Sunday school teacher or a coach\u2014and says, \u201cI think there\u2019s something going on with your child,\u201d\u2014I would definitely look into that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut a parent knows their child better than anyone else, because you\u2019re with them more often. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, secondly, you do not want to jump to the conclusion that there\u2019s something wrong with your child just because your child may have displayed a wrong behavior or someone thought they weren\u2019t feeling something the way they should have been feeling it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirdly, you do not want to ever give someone a psychiatric medication that alters their brain chemistry unless they have the illness of that medication is expected to treat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what I would say, first and foremost\u2014If someone comes to you or you think your child is struggling with something\u2014because, as I said, they are affected in one of those three areas\u2014in their work, in their school, in their relationships. Something is causing them not to be able to function normally in one of those three arenas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first place I would start is with a physical\u2014physical with blood work\u2014because there are a lot of physical illnesses that can look like psychiatric illnesses. A thyroid issue in a teenage girl can look just like anxiety, so I would go and get a physical. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf nothing came of that, I would then ask my pediatrician or physician if they can give a referral to a child psychologist\u2014if it\u2019s a teenager or a child. Then I would go to that individual and say that I would like my child assessed to determine what\u2019s going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the misconceptions about psychology and psychiatry is that we kind of like just walk into a room and kind of <em>guess<\/em> what the problem is. We have assessments \/ we have tests to be able to determine what\u2019s going on. You can go to a child psychologist. In fact, one of the things I say is: \u201cIf you were in a town or you\u2019re near a university that has a doctoral program in psychology, or even a Master\u2019s level psychology, you\u2019re likely to get a psychological assessment done on your child or teen at a reduced rate, much like if you go to a medical school; because students are doing it under supervision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGet an assessment; it\u2019s a report. It usually takes several hours for the assessment. Sometimes, you have to come back multiple times; but it will give you a definitive set of diagnoses and recommendations. You then can take those recommendations to a mental health care provider and then begin to move forward with treatment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a <em>process<\/em>; it\u2019s not just a kind of jump in, feet first, and you get medication, whether the person needs it or not. Get an assessment, and then you can move forward from there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What I heard you saying, clearly, to parents: \u201cDon\u2019t check your brain at the door. You know your child better than anybody. Don\u2019t get caught up in over-prescribing \/ over-assessing a behavior issue that [the child] just needs time to grow up and grow out of the phase.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Absolutely! There\u2019s a lot of variability in children. If you have more than one child, you know there is a lot of variability in children. Some children are more mature than others; some are less mature. We have to know our children\u2014be attentive to your child \/ find out what\u2019s going on with them every day. Just because a teacher said one thing or somebody on the bus said something, don\u2019t jump to the conclusion that they have a disorder. Your child may have just done something wrong, and then you can help them through that in a restorative way. It\u2019s also possible they are just a little less mature right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would have to go through a lot of steps before I would want to give my child a psychiatric medication. I would want to try everything else I could. When I say that, I mean everything else that is a reasonable treatment\u2014some type of psychotherapeutic intervention perhaps or behavior modification. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem with giving children and adolescents psychiatric medication is that their brains are in full-development phase and, now, you are bathing their brain with medication during this heavy development. Children are not just little adults; they are <em>different<\/em>. These things manifest differently in them, and they need to be treated differently. We need to be very careful with medications in children. I\u2019m not saying it isn\u2019t effective; I\u2019m just saying you want to make sure it\u2019s the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, let me ask you about that; because a lot of teenagers are bathing their brains in narcotics and drugs. They are experimenting\u2014they\u2019re smoking weed, or they\u2019re taking molly, or something that their friends recommend to them. You mentioned there\u2019s a relationship between addictions and psychiatric behaviors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAny parent\u2014who knows their child is taking drugs or doing drugs, recreationally, with their friends\u2014is concerned about that. Should they wonder if there is some underlying psychological issue or psychiatric issue too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> Yes; I think you do have to be concerned. In about half of individuals, with a substance abuse problem, you also find underlying mental health problems; so an undiagnosed bipolar, or depression, or something. The person is using substances as a negative coping strategy to deal or self-medicate with the issue. I think most of our treatment, unfortunately, is focused solely on the addiction; so you don\u2019t get a dual-diagnoses approach, where the addiction and the other problem are treated. That\u2019s where we have a lot of really kind of incomplete treatment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have a teen that\u2019s using, I think, again, don\u2019t lose your head. You know, If your teen smoked marijuana one time\u2014yes, that\u2019s a bad thing; and you need to take it into account\u2014but that\u2019s not an addiction. You don\u2019t need to try to drive off and run your child down to the addiction treatment center because you found out he did that one time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you need to find out how much is being used, how often it is being used, what\u2019s being used. I think you do need to connect with a mental health care provider, because a mental health care provider can provide you with expertise that you don\u2019t have. Think about it this way\u2014if you brought your loved one to me and you said, \u201cDr. Stanford, can you help us understand if our son has an addiction problem?\u201d This may be the only person you\u2019ve ever interacted with that you thought had an addiction problem. I\u2019ve interacted with <em>hundreds<\/em> and <em>hundreds<\/em>. I have a little better sense than you do; plus, there\u2019s assessments that we can do and things like that. It\u2019s more than us just taking their word for it whether they are or not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the same thing with cancer, or some kind of pancreatic problem, or something like that\u2014you go to somebody that has a little bit more context and they help you figure it out. You want to bring in some providers and you want to make sure that it\u2019s not significant. If it is a significant issue, then you want to go down a route of trying to determine, as you mentioned: \u201cIs there something else going on? Is it just an addiction issue, or is there some underlying issue?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, in teens, the most common mental health issue diagnosed in teens is anxiety issues. That can manifest itself in really some pretty significant conduct problems, because the child is acting out. One of the things you have to understand is\u2014the expectations we have for our children today are so extreme. There\u2019s a guy, who has been following anxiety levels in children for, probably, since the \u201840s. What he finds is, today\u2014that the anxiety level in teens today are the same of what you would find in psychiatric patients in the \u201840s and the \u201850s. The expectations we have on our children are really unrealistic, and it\u2019s crushing them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere are we seeing our highest increase in mental health problems?\u2014adolescents. Where are we seeing our highest increase in suicides?\u2014adolescents. We really need to step back and we need to say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is the most important thing for our teen? Is the most important thing that we make sure they are in the top ten percent of their class so they can get into a certain college? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs it more important that they have value and worth in who they are in Christ?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs it super important that they get an \u201cA\u201d in this class?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf they are really trying their hardest, and they get a \u201cC,\u201d is that the school\u2019s fault?\u2014or is that just, maybe, my son\u2014that\u2019s the best he can do, because we do vary in our levels of intelligence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need to step back, as parents\u2014and I have to remind myself of this, all the time, myself\u2014and we have to say: \u201cWhat is most important? The most important thing is that my children recognize that they are loved by God, and that they have an opportunity to be in relationship with Him forever.\u201d All the other stuff is gravy. And yes; if a mental health problem comes along, that\u2019s still true; but I\u2019m going to pursue the process of getting them better. I don\u2019t want to just jump to conclusions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd remember, as a final thing\u2014medication is no magic bullet. It does <em>not<\/em> cure mental health problems; it only minimizes symptoms. You need a broader, more holistic approach to care. You want to try to minimize the amount of medication you use. Just like anything, you want to try other options as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s one last thing I want to ask you about and that\u2019s pornography. Teenagers\u2014anxiety, growing up and becoming a young man\/a young lady\u2014lots of emotions \/ lots of temptations. What do parents need to be on the lookout for and what can they do, simply?\u2014because we\u2019re about out of time here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matthew:<\/strong> I think, number one, pornography is such an issue now; it\u2019s almost uncommon to find someone who hasn\u2019t been exposed to it, as a teenager. Girls are on the up-rise. Again, you have to engage and find out what the extent of the use it: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDid they just look at it a few times, because their friends are looking at it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tor \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo they have a <em>draw<\/em> to it, where they are doing it regularly? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow is it affecting their relationships? How is it affecting their perceptions of women and things like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you really have to get in there and ask. Again, pornography is a very common negative coping strategy to deal with depression\/anxiety. When people don\u2019t feel well, they try to find things that will make them feel <em>better<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Why<\/em> is your child looking at pornography? Is it a sex issue?\u2014is it a maturation issue?\u2014or is it a mental health issue?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that is where being a parent, and providing the love and the spiritual guidance\u2014and I might say: \u201cBe on the lookout for great small groups, led by adults in your church, for young people. They need other adults speaking into their lives, spiritually, in the midst of community.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatthew, I want to thank you for your work, and all that you are doing there, and specifically for your book, <em>Grace for the Afflicted<\/em>. I think this is going to be a great book for a lot parents and, also, for a lot of families, who are dealing with family members struggling with mental health issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Of course, we\u2019ve got the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe author is Matthew Stanford. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about ordering the book, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. If you want to find out more about what Matthew is doing in Houston, and about the Hope and Healing Center, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. We have a link available there as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have heard from a lot of listeners this week, who have been greatly helped by our conversations on these subjects, and who have already contacted us, Matthew, to get a copy of your book. I think\u2014about these kinds of discussions and these kinds of conversations\u2014people often feel lonely and isolated and like there\u2019s no place to turn when they\u2019re facing issues like this. Everybody goes and Google<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>s something. You never know what you\u2019re getting when you just Google something and get random results. But I\u2019ve been encouraged by the people, who have gotten in touch with us to say: \u201cThank you for having these kinds of conversations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThank you for the help it has provided for our family, just to hear these issues acknowledged and talked about.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatthew, I\u2019ve appreciated the coaching for those of us, who may not be dealing with this first-hand, but we know friends or people at church who are\u2014how we can be more compassionate and more understanding about what they are going through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, our goal is to provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family. We are able to accomplish that goal, because we have partners who make this possible. We have monthly Legacy Partners; and we have regular listeners who will, from time to time, make a donation to help advance this work. We are grateful for those of you who do partner with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you are a longtime listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation, why don\u2019t you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and pitch in and help expand the work of FamilyLife through your donation? Or you can call to donate\u2014our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329 \/ 1-800-\u201cF\u201d\u2019 as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, our colleague, Ron Deal, is going to join us. We\u2019re going to do a little check-up. We\u2019ve got some friends, Robbie and Sabrina McDonald, who are in a blended family. We\u2019re going to find out how their blended family journey is going. They\u2019ve been here before, and we\u2019re just keeping tabs on the challenges they\u2019re facing, through the years, in creating a healthy blended family. I hope you tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300283"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300283"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300283"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300283"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}