{"id":300271,"date":"2018-06-19T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-19T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/building-a-relationship-with-your-daughter\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:26","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:26","slug":"building-a-relationship-with-your-daughter","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-a-relationship-with-your-daughter\/","title":{"rendered":"Building a Relationship With Your Daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jonathan and Wynter Pitts know what it&#8217;s like to raise girls. The Pitts encourage parents to get to know their children&#8217;s personalities and preferences so they can best encourage their interests and talents.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:54","filesize":"24.64M","filesize_raw":"25834302","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2891,2836,2806],"tags":[4424,4421,4425,4426],"podcast_series":[7223],"cwp_profile":[8836],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300271","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-making-memories","category-raising-girls","category-spiritual-development","tag-encouraging-your-children","tag-raising-girls","tag-spending-time-with-your-children","tag-time-for-kids","podcast_series-she-is-yours","cwp_profile-jonathan-and-wynter-pitts","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300271\/building-a-relationship-with-your-daughter","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300271\/building-a-relationship-with-your-daughter","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"gWwCS5fhds\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-a-relationship-with-your-daughter\/\">Building a Relationship With Your Daughter<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-a-relationship-with-your-daughter\/embed\/#?secret=gWwCS5fhds\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Building a Relationship With Your Daughter&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"gWwCS5fhds\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you\u2019re raising your children, one of the things you learn is that loving them is often spelled \u201cT-I-M-E\u201d\u2014spending time with them. That\u2019s something that Jonathan Pitts has learned as a dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> One way I love spending time with my girls is actually just allowing them to enter mine. You know, a lot of times, we go to work\u2014or we go to Home Depot<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or somewhere\u2014and we want our own time. One of the things I\u2019ve really found joy in, especially with four girls, where I can\u2019t\u2014you know, dating four girls gets to be expensive and difficult to do; so you have to get very creative about what a date is. They don\u2019t know that Home Depot is not a great date!\u2014just taking them with me so that they know that they\u2019re important, no matter where I am. When I leave the house, I don\u2019t leave them\u2014just taking them with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, June 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. As parents, one of the most important gifts we can give our children, as we raise them, is the gift of our presence with them. We\u2019ll hear more about that today from Jonathan and Wynter Pitts. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, as you were raising your daughters, you probably had the same experience I did. There were some seasons that were sweet, and wonderful, and delightful, and some seasons that had a little more relational challenge to them. Do you know what I\u2019m talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You think?! [Laughter] That\u2019s an interesting way of putting it, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was waiting to see if you were going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was wondering,\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was waiting to see if you were going to deny this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhere are you headed with this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and try to make it sound like: \u201cOh, no! It was all sweet the whole time!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, as you know, we actually had a statistician do a project on the number of relationships that we have in our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I\u2019ll introduce our guests. Jonathan and Wynter Pitts are back with us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Wynter\/Jonathan\u2014welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Thank you for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This will probably make you guys tired; because you have four daughters, you understand the dynamics of conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis guy did the research, and there are over 1,000 different relationships that can be formed where there are two parents and six children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about two with one; three with one\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Three with one; five against one. [Laughter]\u00a0 You know, on and on it goes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe guy did a statistical probability of having a good day, and it was one out of every 630 billion years! [Laughter] You know, there\u2019s a reason why we, as parents, are facing these issues. We\u2019re training our kids to know how to manage conflict and how to resolve it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have written a book called <em>She Is Yours: Trusting God as You Raise the Girl That He Gave You.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, Bob, I don\u2019t know whether you know this or not, but this couple is famous!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re famous!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They\u2019re famous because one of their daughters is a movie star.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019s a movie star!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s pretty cool!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No; we\u2019re not. [Laughter] We\u2019re tired! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your daughter\u2014your oldest daughter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She got cast in the hit movie, which nobody knew was going to be a hit movie. In fact, you guys know the story. When Alex and Stephen Kendrick went to the folks at Sony and said, \u201cWe want to do a movie about an older woman\u2019s prayer closet,\u201d the people at Sony were like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Not necessarily the most popular sort of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cThis is going to be your first flop!\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what they got told. It turned out to be just a major movie. Your daughter is the daughter in that movie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She is the jump roper at the end. I have to think\u2014she had to be\u2014she had to be doing\u2014what is it?\u2014Double Dutch?\u2014is that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Double Dutch; yes\u2014Double Dutch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She had to be wild into Double Dutch before the movie came along; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Absolutely not! We kind of felt like\u2014Sony, actually, when they said it was a Double Dutch\u2014that she was going to Double Dutch\u2014we were like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhat is it?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u201cWell, will it be a track team \/ a basketball team?\u201d You know, it was a Double Dutch team. She had only ever jumped rope\u2014just like a regular jump rope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> But they had a coach come on set.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Not just any coach\u2014he was like a National Championship Double Dutcher himself. I don\u2019t know if you call them \u201cDouble Dutchers,\u201d but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Well, he brought teams with him\u2014like these kids\u2014even, you know, she did like a cartwheel in the ropes one time\u2014and we were like: \u201cIt\u2019s <em>amazing! <\/em>We\u2019ve never seen anything like it!\u201d And then these professional Double Dutchers showed up; and we were like, \u201cOhhhhh!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So explain to our listeners\u2014there are some who don\u2019t know about Double Dutch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes; Double Dutch is\u2014you take two ropes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014long jump ropes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014long jump ropes\u2014and the two people stand on the ends and twist them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014turn them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014turn them \/ twist and turn them\u2014but they actually matter just as much as the person who is jumping on the inside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because there are all different directions with those ropes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to time it the right way; so they\u2019re timing, and doing these twists. Then a regular Double Dutch jumper will just jump in and can kind of keep up with the two ropes; but the better you get, you can do cartwheels and dances. Even in the movie, Alena did like a little foot dance with one of the guys, where they did like, you know, a handshake, except it was with their feet in the middle of these jump ropes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So is she still Double Dutch-ing today? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No; because we\u2019re terrible twisters. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Turners, Babe!\u2014they\u2019re turners! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so funny\u2014I wish that the audience could see this; because as Wynter\u2019s explaining Double Dutch, she\u2019s actually turning her arms the opposite way than you\u2019re supposed to turn them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> That was probably one of the most frustrating things for Alena after the movie was over; because her coach had given her these professional jump ropes, and she brings them home. Her sisters aren\u2019t tall enough to help <em>turn<\/em> the ropes, and Jon and I don\u2019t know what we\u2019re doing! So she\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m actually not that bad, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ohhh!!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Just because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ohhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014just because you\u2019re better than I am does not mean\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, dear! That\u2019s fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, your book is really broken into three parts. You want to equip parents to train their children\u2014their daughters, specifically\u2014to have a great relationship with God; secondly, a great relationship with you, as parents; and, third, know how to relate to their world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk about building a relationship with your daughters. Where does that <em>start<\/em>? Obviously, it begins in the crib; but as you begin to develop that relationship with toddlers, and children moving into elementary school, how did you guys do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> You know, I think there are different things that, as parents, distract us from doing that well. I think presence is everything. For me, I\u2019ve learned, over the years, that my presence matters more than anything else. I\u2019ll just give you an example of something that would make my presence less <em>there<\/em> \/ make me less available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even though you can\u2019t do the Double Dutch\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014your presence doesn\u2019t count at that point; does it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I would say presence is everything. You know, for parents these days\u2014for me, even, I love talk radio\u2014I don\u2019t care what it is: political talk radio, Christian talk radio, conservative talk radio\u2014I just love talk radio. I can put some earbuds in better than anybody else; get over to the dishes\u2014start doing dishes after dinner and just kind of check out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> It looks like he\u2019s being productive, because he\u2019s doing the dishes; but all of the kids are trying to talk to him, around the house, and are like, \u201cDaddy!\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014like, \u201cAre you there?!\u201d He\u2019s totally mute; you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s a challenge. I think we all have it\u2014something that easily distracts us. For me, that\u2019s what it is. I can put my earbuds in, and I can kind of check out of what\u2019s going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is what everybody\u2019s carrying around with them today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Cell phones; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> These smartphones\u2014how many times you are out to dinner\u2014and you look over at a table of five people, and nobody\u2019s talking to anybody; they\u2019re all staring at their phones. I never do that myself! [Laughter] But I\u2019ve seen other people do it; so\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, now, that\u2019s a rule at our dinner table. We don\u2019t have cell phones at the dinner table\u2014they\u2019re just gone; they\u2019re set aside. I try not to bring my cell phone in from work even\u2014I try to leave it in the car. I don\u2019t do it perfectly; I\u2019m probably actually only at about 30 percent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No earbuds at the dinner table either; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> No earbuds at the dinner table! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> But I would say presence\u2014starting with presence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> And presence doesn\u2019t always\u2014I think, a lot of times, we get caught up in the perfection\u2014like it needs to look perfect; it needs to be a certain way. Really, it doesn\u2019t\u2014it\u2019s just our presence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen our twins were born, we already had\u2014you know, Alena was five, and our Kaitlyn was\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014three. She was three, and then the twins were born; so it was total chaos! I mean, you know, just diapers and chaos. I spent a lot of time trying to get it to look right and <em>then<\/em> I could enjoy my kids\u2014like: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf we could get them to all sit, or all be calm, or all have a nap at the same time, then my presence will matter; and it looks like I\u2019m doing something productive.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve learned, over time\u2014that God just showed me: \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be perfect.\u201d But just letting all of that\u2014what we think it needs to look like, as a parent, [go]\u2014and just accepting what it is and choosing to be present in that moment. In there, with them, is one of the biggest deals, I think, when it comes to relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wynter, I don\u2019t know if Jonathan was like this\u2014and I don\u2019t know if this is dads versus moms\u2014but building a relationship with my kids\u2014with my girls\u2014was something that I didn\u2019t feel like really started to happen until, maybe, they were two or three years old; because, when the babies are born, for some reason, I watched my wife\u2014she instantly bonded with this child. She can sit for an hour with a baby in her lap and just stare, and talk, and be entranced. I can do, maybe, two minutes of that and then it is like, \u201cOn to the next thing.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, a child has to have some expression of identity and personality for me to be able to connect and relate; but for mamas, this relationship stuff starts from the time in the hospital, when they say, \u201cIt\u2019s a girl,\u201d and hand her to you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Absolutely; I can remember the first time I held all of my girls. Even with my twins\u2014one of them I didn\u2019t get to hold until the next morning after she was born\u2014so there\u2019s this instant\u2014I remember sitting in rocking chairs and rocking. I can\u2019t sing at all, but they didn\u2019t know; so it didn\u2019t matter! [Laughter] So singing over them and praying over them, or just talking to them and just, literally, like you said your wife\u2014those are my favorite moments\u2014just sitting and staring at them do nothing\u2014you are like: \u201cThey\u2019re smiling!\u201d and you\u2019re [Jonathan] like, \u201cNo; it\u2019s not.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I actually was looking for a spot for this question: \u201cSo, Bob, have you read, in the book, how Jonathan connects with his daughters by lying on the floor? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cHave you\u2014have you read that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Jonathan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about with them drawing on my back and all of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; the girls drawing tattoos on your back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; I remember I would be exhausted, coming in from work; and Wynter\u2019s tired. She\u2019s in the bed or something, and I\u2019m coming to take over. I realized, very quickly, was all I had to do was lie on the floor and give them either pens or some kind of markers, and they would just draw on my back. I could actually fall asleep while they were just playing on my back! It was a really neat thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> You did it a lot; because I am, like an hour later\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cI still hear the kids giggling!\u201d I go in the room, and Jonathan\u2019s knocked out\u2014like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter] You know, the kids are still\u2014they were actually, recently, just talking about them remembering them drawing on your back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You guys have written a list\u2014a pretty comprehensive list\u2014of like 30 ideas or ways to build your relationship with your children. I want both of you to pick your top three. So, Jonathan, you pick three; and Wynter, you pick three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and you can go back and forth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have you got one picked out, Jonathan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, I have one; I don\u2019t even know if it\u2019s in here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I mean, one way I love spending time with my girls is actually just allowing them to enter mine. You know, a lot of times, we go to work\u2014or we go to Home Depot or somewhere\u2014and we want our own time. One of the things I\u2019ve really found joy in, especially with four girls, where I can\u2019t do dating\u2014I mean, you had four girls\u2014dating four girls gets to be, not impossible, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014expensive! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014expensive and difficult to do! So you have to get very creative about what a date is. They don\u2019t know that Home Depot is not a great date!\u2014just throw them in the car! [Laughter] So just allowing them to enter my world\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Shhh! There are some of them listening to this broadcast!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cDaddy\u2019s going to take me to Home Depot! That\u2019s really special.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Right. So just allowing them to enter my world\u2014whether it be my workplace, or Home Depot or, obviously, a date\u2014but just taking them with me so that they know that they\u2019re important, no matter where I am. When I leave the house, I don\u2019t leave them; so just taking them with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you will do that, sometimes, with all of them; but often, just one on one, with a particular girl; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; and I think you get to know their personalities. We have four girls with <em>very <\/em>different personalities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get to know their personality, and you get to know what they appreciate and what excites them. There are certain things I would ask \u201cDaughter One\u201d to do that I wouldn\u2019t ask \u201cDaughter Three\u201d to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> There are certain things I would ask \u201cDaughter Four\u201d to do that I wouldn\u2019t ask \u201cDaughter Two\u201d to do; you know? It\u2019s just\u2014you get to know them so well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, first and foremost, just allowing them to enter my world and intentionally bring them into my world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wynter, what\u2019s a relationship-building strategy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Well, one of the things I love to do\u2014and I opened right to it\u2014but I love this anyway; it doesn\u2019t matter the personality. I love just a quiet room to snuggle. All of the girls will do that\u2014some of them will do it a little longer; some of them will do it like 30 seconds, and then they\u2019re like, \u201cI\u2019ve got to move on.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that moment of just sitting quietly, just holding their hands, giving them a chance to breathe. If there\u2019s something to be said, they say it. A lot of times, they will randomly say something that, in the busyness, I would totally miss\u2014but just taking that time out to just kind of grab them. That\u2019s a perfect date for me, and all of the kids can appreciate it in some way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Will you say to one of your daughters, \u201cLet\u2019s have some snuggle time,\u201d or how do you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> I would always\u2014normally, already be in a very comfortable space. I\u2019ll invite them into it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What\u2019s another one for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> One really neat thing that we did, as a family\u2014and this is fun, because my wife is an introvert\u2014and I have two daughters who are very introverted. One of the things\u2014we found from another family\u2014was just sharing \u201chighs and lows\u201d like around the dinner table or just at night before you go to bed. Sharing highs and lows\u2014the high point of your day \/ the low point of your day\u2014is a way of creating conversations in your family that wouldn\u2019t otherwise exist. When you share highs and lows, you\u2019re actually starting to talk about what happened in your day; and you find out things you wouldn\u2019t have found out otherwise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Give our listeners an illustration of some highs and lows that were shared, and how you turned it into a conversation\u2014to not only embrace that child\u2014but also, maybe, build some values into their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> The highs and lows aren\u2019t really about anything earth-shattering or big idea. It\u2019s more just the daily grind of their lives \/ things that are happening. Some things you find out about them that you didn\u2019t realize was something that would excite them or something that you wouldn\u2019t realize would upset them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get opportunities just to pour into their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They might say, \u201cI got a bad test grade today,\u201d or \u201cMy teacher let me do this,\u201d or \u201cSomebody said something nice to me.\u201d They\u2019ll just come up\u2014they\u2019ll kind of bring you into their world, and you get a chance to understand what life is like for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> One of the biggest things it does, as well\u2014that, specifically\u2014is it just shows them they can talk to us. It creates an environment that, even though they may not have anything profound to say on <em>that day<\/em>; but when they do, like it comes up \/ it comes back; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike I can remember one of the things with Alena. She was really interested, one day\u2014Alena\u2019s our oldest, and she was probably in third grade\u2014she ran out to the car. This wasn\u2019t necessarily a high\/low together, as a family, but for her and me. She ran to the car, and she had her eyeglass case; she was holding it really tight. I remember looking at it, like, \u201cWhat is she doing?\u201d as she was coming; because it just looked different. She got to the car; she opens it. She pulls out a baggie full of ladybugs that she had collected all day long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis was\u2014she was <em>totally<\/em> excited about these ladybugs. I mean, that was like the \u201chigh\u201d of her whole day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I have to share, because Wynter\u2019s not excited about any bugs; I don\u2019t care how cute they are! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No! We\u2019re driving, and she is just going on. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her holding up this bag in the back seat. All of these bugs were just crawling around in this baggie; there were a lot of them! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think I know where this is going. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> I did not tell her\u2014in my mind, I was thinking: \u201cShe\u2019s going to throw that away!\u201d\u2014like: \u201cThrow it away!\u201d But, from her excitement, I could just tell: \u201cYou know what? This is a chance for me to show her that I\u2019m interested in the things that she\u2019s interested in.\u201d We went home; I did not ask her to throw them away. When we went home, we got online and we started googling \u201cHow to take care of ladybugs.\u201d We had a little jar, and we put food in\u2014I don\u2019t remember what now\u2014it was years ago. Whatever we put in there to make them eat\u2014you know, we didn\u2019t do a good job; because they all died\u2014[Laughter]\u2014like very soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think they had any air. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> You think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> They weren\u2019t thinking of that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> The idea was\u2014the idea that stood out to me, in that moment\u2014and what I\u2019m praying stands out for her, in years to come\u2014is just that, even though it was just ladybugs, and it was a third-grader, and it wasn\u2019t anything major or profound, the fact that I showed interest in something that she was interested in and created a moment that we could have together\u2014like: \u201cI\u2019m going to show you that, when you\u2019re interested in something I\u2019m not, I\u2019m going to join you in that world the same way I\u2019m going to bring you into mine. I\u2019m going to join you in the things that matter to you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014even though it was something that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014totally grossed me out!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Exactly! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you mentioned the word, \u201cbaggies.\u201d That\u2019s another story in your book that I love. This would be a good one, I think, to have a \u201chigh,\u201d as a parent, just to brag on one of your daughters. You have a daughter, who saw a young man walking down the street with baggy pants; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Saggy pants!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She made a comment that showed where her values were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; and this is so funny, because we put this in the book. Wynter was thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t want to offend anybody!\u201d but it\u2019s just funny. This guy is walking down the street. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was driving the car. I think my oldest and my second one are in the car; the twins weren\u2019t born yet. We look over, and there was a guy walking down the street\u2014just kind of a, you know, younger guy, and his pants were baggy. She says, \u201cDaddy, I don\u2019t want to marry a man like that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWhy?\u201d She said, \u201cWell, he\u2019s not wearing his pants up on his waist.\u201d The whole thing is not about judging a guy for how he wears his pants; the whole point is\u2014and what I realized in that moment is\u2014that she\u2019s judging the world around her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; she\u2019s processing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014she\u2019s processing the world around her. I\u2019m getting to set the standard, for not only for how pants should be worn, but for everything else in life. It was just a proud moment for me, as a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And those are great moments to celebrate at the dinner table when you do your \u201chighs and lows.\u201d You can brag on one of your children in front of the rest of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And then ask God to help you catch your kids doing something right, so you can brag on them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, I just had another moment\u2014this was actually just this week. I had flown in town from somewhere; my daughter texted me\u2014my oldest girl, and she\u2019s almost 14\u2014she says: \u201cDaddy, can we have a conversation tonight?\u2014a private conversation?\u201d I text her back and I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay; is everything okay?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she said, \u201cYes; everything\u2019s okay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI get home\u2014it is a beautiful day\u2014and we take a walk; we are walking our dog. The bottom line is\u2014we had a 30-\/40-minute walk and a conversation about two things: one is\u2014she shared that she was just struggling a little bit with anxious thoughts\u2014and she was just wondering, \u201cHow do I deal with that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of pulling out my Bible, like I would have, and just sharing Scripture with her on anxious thoughts, I actually said: \u201cWell, why don\u2019t you call one of my sisters? My baby sister\u2014she actually struggled with anxious thoughts when she was a teenager. Maybe she can help you some,\u201d\u2014that was the first thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, the second thing\u2014she just wanted to talk about boys and talk about a friend that she has. I was mature enough in this moment to actually have that conversation. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat that did for me was just really help me understand that me being available and me being a trusted person to talk to\u2014I\u2019m sorry!\u2014I forgot to say that, before she said that, she said: \u201cDaddy, I don\u2019t want to be like the other girls\u2014friends of mine\u2014that don\u2019t really have a relationship with their daddies or talk with their daddies. I want to talk with you about these things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I was going to wait until the broadcast was over to make a personal gift to you, as the father of four daughters, but I brought it here in the studio. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cYou know, here\u2019s a man who\u2019s going to need this book.\u201d Read the title of it, Wynter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date: 30 Minutes Man-to-Man<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Bam! [Laughter] Can I have it now!?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You can have it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Thank you! I appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got a feeling there\u2019s going to be some young men, who pull their pants up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Oh, man! They will. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to come by your house to date your daughters!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really applaud your leadership in caring for your wife and your daughters, and intersecting their world with the truth of Scripture and the reality of Jesus Christ\u2014that He is there; they can follow Him and not compromise who they are, as young ladies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I hope you stopped\u2014when your daughter said: \u201cI don\u2019t want to be like my friends, who can\u2019t talk to their daddies about this. I want to have a relationship with my dad and talk about\u2026\u201d\u2014I hope you just said, \u201cThank You, Jesus!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I did; I did! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, for me, I think about Philippians 2\u2014and Jesus not considering His equality with God something to be grasped or held on to\u2014but He gave up, becoming a servant and humbling Himself. I think the <em>most<\/em> important thing that we can do, as dads, is humble ourselves; because we\u2019re going to make mistakes; we\u2019re going to have challenges. I mean, I find myself realizing that I\u2019m the wrong party sometimes. Having the humility\u2014I\u2019m not comparing that part to Jesus!\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but the other part of humility\u2014having the humility to be okay with being wrong \/ with having to apologize\u2014whatever it takes to keep my family together \/ to keep my daughters strong. I mean, humility, for men\u2014it is the one of the hardest things to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Wynter, I was watching your face as he was saying that he hadn\u2019t done it perfectly. It looked like there was something flashed across your mind. [Laughter] Our audience should have\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I thought she nodded; didn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, she did nod! But it was like there was something taking place there. Is there something you can share here? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s funny. I thought of: \u201cIt\u2019s true, but it\u2019s true for all of us\u2014that it\u2019s not done perfectly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJonathan is <em>not<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> In your eyes I am, baby!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014one of the things I thank God for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014in your eyes, I\u2019m perfect. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes, sweetie. [Laughter] But one of the things I am <em>always <\/em>grateful for in my husband is just that he is very humble and always willing to apologize and show that \/ offer that apology, whether it\u2019s me or the girls\u2014and just that it\u2019s a really big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s, also, very easy to cry. I was wondering, Babe\u2014when Alena said that to you, did you cry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t cry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Okay; that\u2019s not normal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I\u2019m not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014he cries all of the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I\u2019m surprised, now that you ask, that I didn\u2019t; but I didn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m just thinking about the coaching that you provide in the middle section of this book about this critically important area of our relationship with our girls\u2014also with our boys, but you\u2019re focused on your four girls\u2014building a relationship with them and maintaining a relationship with them. Dennis, you\u2019ve said, for years, that the relationship is the bridge over which a boat-load of truth can be carried. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you\u2019ve got to have the relationship strong to be able to carry that truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a truckload of truth, not a boatload of truth, across the bridge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay! [Laughter] I guess I did mix my metaphors there; didn\u2019t I?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, we\u2019ve got copies of Jonathan and Wynter Pitts\u2019 book available in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order your copy: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. Again, it is 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d The book is titled <em>She is Yours: Trusting God as You Raise the Girl He Gave You<\/em>. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of the ways that you can spend more time together with your sons and daughters and spend time focused on God\u2019s Word\u2014FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has put together a series of family devotions that you can do over a four-week period. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe call this the <em>Growing Together <\/em>series; and it\u2019s available for free download at our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019re looking for a way to have some spiritually-meaningful times with your kids during the summer months, let us provide some help. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and download the <em>Growing Together <\/em>series. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who make it possible for us to provide resources like this for families all across the country and around the world. Those of you who support this ministry\u2014you help us reach more people, more regularly, through this daily radio program, our podcasts, our website, the resources we create, and our events. You make all of that possible when you donate to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We\u2019re grateful for those of you who do partner with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a long-time listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation, why don\u2019t you make today the day that you join the team? Go online and donate at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. And don\u2019t forget to download the <em>Growing Together <\/em>devotional series from our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow. Jonathan and Wynter Pitts will be here again. We\u2019ll continue talking about how we cultivate a strong, healthy relationship with our daughters so that we can carry a <em>truckload<\/em> of truth across the bridge to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:54"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.64M"],"filesize_raw":["25834302"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300271.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300271.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Wynter Pitts know what it's like to raise girls. The Pitts encourage parents to get to know their children's personalities and preferences so they can best encourage their interests and talents.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you\u2019re raising your children, one of the things you learn is that loving them is often spelled \u201cT-I-M-E\u201d\u2014spending time with them. That\u2019s something that Jonathan Pitts has learned as a dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> One way I love spending time with my girls is actually just allowing them to enter mine. You know, a lot of times, we go to work\u2014or we go to Home Depot<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or somewhere\u2014and we want our own time. One of the things I\u2019ve really found joy in, especially with four girls, where I can\u2019t\u2014you know, dating four girls gets to be expensive and difficult to do; so you have to get very creative about what a date is. They don\u2019t know that Home Depot is not a great date!\u2014just taking them with me so that they know that they\u2019re important, no matter where I am. When I leave the house, I don\u2019t leave them\u2014just taking them with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, June 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. As parents, one of the most important gifts we can give our children, as we raise them, is the gift of our presence with them. We\u2019ll hear more about that today from Jonathan and Wynter Pitts. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, as you were raising your daughters, you probably had the same experience I did. There were some seasons that were sweet, and wonderful, and delightful, and some seasons that had a little more relational challenge to them. Do you know what I\u2019m talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You think?! [Laughter] That\u2019s an interesting way of putting it, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was waiting to see if you were going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was wondering,\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was waiting to see if you were going to deny this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhere are you headed with this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and try to make it sound like: \u201cOh, no! It was all sweet the whole time!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, as you know, we actually had a statistician do a project on the number of relationships that we have in our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I\u2019ll introduce our guests. Jonathan and Wynter Pitts are back with us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Wynter\/Jonathan\u2014welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Thank you for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This will probably make you guys tired; because you have four daughters, you understand the dynamics of conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis guy did the research, and there are over 1,000 different relationships that can be formed where there are two parents and six children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about two with one; three with one\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Three with one; five against one. [Laughter]\u00a0 You know, on and on it goes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe guy did a statistical probability of having a good day, and it was one out of every 630 billion years! [Laughter] You know, there\u2019s a reason why we, as parents, are facing these issues. We\u2019re training our kids to know how to manage conflict and how to resolve it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have written a book called <em>She Is Yours: Trusting God as You Raise the Girl That He Gave You.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, Bob, I don\u2019t know whether you know this or not, but this couple is famous!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re famous!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They\u2019re famous because one of their daughters is a movie star.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019s a movie star!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s pretty cool!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No; we\u2019re not. [Laughter] We\u2019re tired! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your daughter\u2014your oldest daughter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She got cast in the hit movie, which nobody knew was going to be a hit movie. In fact, you guys know the story. When Alex and Stephen Kendrick went to the folks at Sony and said, \u201cWe want to do a movie about an older woman\u2019s prayer closet,\u201d the people at Sony were like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Not necessarily the most popular sort of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cThis is going to be your first flop!\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what they got told. It turned out to be just a major movie. Your daughter is the daughter in that movie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She is the jump roper at the end. I have to think\u2014she had to be\u2014she had to be doing\u2014what is it?\u2014Double Dutch?\u2014is that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Double Dutch; yes\u2014Double Dutch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She had to be wild into Double Dutch before the movie came along; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Absolutely not! We kind of felt like\u2014Sony, actually, when they said it was a Double Dutch\u2014that she was going to Double Dutch\u2014we were like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhat is it?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u201cWell, will it be a track team \/ a basketball team?\u201d You know, it was a Double Dutch team. She had only ever jumped rope\u2014just like a regular jump rope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> But they had a coach come on set.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Not just any coach\u2014he was like a National Championship Double Dutcher himself. I don\u2019t know if you call them \u201cDouble Dutchers,\u201d but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Well, he brought teams with him\u2014like these kids\u2014even, you know, she did like a cartwheel in the ropes one time\u2014and we were like: \u201cIt\u2019s <em>amazing! <\/em>We\u2019ve never seen anything like it!\u201d And then these professional Double Dutchers showed up; and we were like, \u201cOhhhhh!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So explain to our listeners\u2014there are some who don\u2019t know about Double Dutch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes; Double Dutch is\u2014you take two ropes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014long jump ropes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014long jump ropes\u2014and the two people stand on the ends and twist them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014turn them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014turn them \/ twist and turn them\u2014but they actually matter just as much as the person who is jumping on the inside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because there are all different directions with those ropes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to time it the right way; so they\u2019re timing, and doing these twists. Then a regular Double Dutch jumper will just jump in and can kind of keep up with the two ropes; but the better you get, you can do cartwheels and dances. Even in the movie, Alena did like a little foot dance with one of the guys, where they did like, you know, a handshake, except it was with their feet in the middle of these jump ropes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So is she still Double Dutch-ing today? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No; because we\u2019re terrible twisters. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Turners, Babe!\u2014they\u2019re turners! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s so funny\u2014I wish that the audience could see this; because as Wynter\u2019s explaining Double Dutch, she\u2019s actually turning her arms the opposite way than you\u2019re supposed to turn them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> That was probably one of the most frustrating things for Alena after the movie was over; because her coach had given her these professional jump ropes, and she brings them home. Her sisters aren\u2019t tall enough to help <em>turn<\/em> the ropes, and Jon and I don\u2019t know what we\u2019re doing! So she\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m actually not that bad, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ohhh!!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Just because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ohhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014just because you\u2019re better than I am does not mean\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, dear! That\u2019s fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, your book is really broken into three parts. You want to equip parents to train their children\u2014their daughters, specifically\u2014to have a great relationship with God; secondly, a great relationship with you, as parents; and, third, know how to relate to their world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s talk about building a relationship with your daughters. Where does that <em>start<\/em>? Obviously, it begins in the crib; but as you begin to develop that relationship with toddlers, and children moving into elementary school, how did you guys do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> You know, I think there are different things that, as parents, distract us from doing that well. I think presence is everything. For me, I\u2019ve learned, over the years, that my presence matters more than anything else. I\u2019ll just give you an example of something that would make my presence less <em>there<\/em> \/ make me less available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even though you can\u2019t do the Double Dutch\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014your presence doesn\u2019t count at that point; does it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I would say presence is everything. You know, for parents these days\u2014for me, even, I love talk radio\u2014I don\u2019t care what it is: political talk radio, Christian talk radio, conservative talk radio\u2014I just love talk radio. I can put some earbuds in better than anybody else; get over to the dishes\u2014start doing dishes after dinner and just kind of check out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> It looks like he\u2019s being productive, because he\u2019s doing the dishes; but all of the kids are trying to talk to him, around the house, and are like, \u201cDaddy!\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014like, \u201cAre you there?!\u201d He\u2019s totally mute; you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s a challenge. I think we all have it\u2014something that easily distracts us. For me, that\u2019s what it is. I can put my earbuds in, and I can kind of check out of what\u2019s going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is what everybody\u2019s carrying around with them today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Cell phones; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> These smartphones\u2014how many times you are out to dinner\u2014and you look over at a table of five people, and nobody\u2019s talking to anybody; they\u2019re all staring at their phones. I never do that myself! [Laughter] But I\u2019ve seen other people do it; so\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, now, that\u2019s a rule at our dinner table. We don\u2019t have cell phones at the dinner table\u2014they\u2019re just gone; they\u2019re set aside. I try not to bring my cell phone in from work even\u2014I try to leave it in the car. I don\u2019t do it perfectly; I\u2019m probably actually only at about 30 percent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No earbuds at the dinner table either; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> No earbuds at the dinner table! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> But I would say presence\u2014starting with presence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> And presence doesn\u2019t always\u2014I think, a lot of times, we get caught up in the perfection\u2014like it needs to look perfect; it needs to be a certain way. Really, it doesn\u2019t\u2014it\u2019s just our presence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen our twins were born, we already had\u2014you know, Alena was five, and our Kaitlyn was\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014three. She was three, and then the twins were born; so it was total chaos! I mean, you know, just diapers and chaos. I spent a lot of time trying to get it to look right and <em>then<\/em> I could enjoy my kids\u2014like: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf we could get them to all sit, or all be calm, or all have a nap at the same time, then my presence will matter; and it looks like I\u2019m doing something productive.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve learned, over time\u2014that God just showed me: \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be perfect.\u201d But just letting all of that\u2014what we think it needs to look like, as a parent, [go]\u2014and just accepting what it is and choosing to be present in that moment. In there, with them, is one of the biggest deals, I think, when it comes to relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wynter, I don\u2019t know if Jonathan was like this\u2014and I don\u2019t know if this is dads versus moms\u2014but building a relationship with my kids\u2014with my girls\u2014was something that I didn\u2019t feel like really started to happen until, maybe, they were two or three years old; because, when the babies are born, for some reason, I watched my wife\u2014she instantly bonded with this child. She can sit for an hour with a baby in her lap and just stare, and talk, and be entranced. I can do, maybe, two minutes of that and then it is like, \u201cOn to the next thing.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, a child has to have some expression of identity and personality for me to be able to connect and relate; but for mamas, this relationship stuff starts from the time in the hospital, when they say, \u201cIt\u2019s a girl,\u201d and hand her to you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Absolutely; I can remember the first time I held all of my girls. Even with my twins\u2014one of them I didn\u2019t get to hold until the next morning after she was born\u2014so there\u2019s this instant\u2014I remember sitting in rocking chairs and rocking. I can\u2019t sing at all, but they didn\u2019t know; so it didn\u2019t matter! [Laughter] So singing over them and praying over them, or just talking to them and just, literally, like you said your wife\u2014those are my favorite moments\u2014just sitting and staring at them do nothing\u2014you are like: \u201cThey\u2019re smiling!\u201d and you\u2019re [Jonathan] like, \u201cNo; it\u2019s not.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I actually was looking for a spot for this question: \u201cSo, Bob, have you read, in the book, how Jonathan connects with his daughters by lying on the floor? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cHave you\u2014have you read that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Jonathan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about with them drawing on my back and all of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; the girls drawing tattoos on your back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; I remember I would be exhausted, coming in from work; and Wynter\u2019s tired. She\u2019s in the bed or something, and I\u2019m coming to take over. I realized, very quickly, was all I had to do was lie on the floor and give them either pens or some kind of markers, and they would just draw on my back. I could actually fall asleep while they were just playing on my back! It was a really neat thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> You did it a lot; because I am, like an hour later\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cI still hear the kids giggling!\u201d I go in the room, and Jonathan\u2019s knocked out\u2014like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d [Laughter] You know, the kids are still\u2014they were actually, recently, just talking about them remembering them drawing on your back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You guys have written a list\u2014a pretty comprehensive list\u2014of like 30 ideas or ways to build your relationship with your children. I want both of you to pick your top three. So, Jonathan, you pick three; and Wynter, you pick three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and you can go back and forth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have you got one picked out, Jonathan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, I have one; I don\u2019t even know if it\u2019s in here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I mean, one way I love spending time with my girls is actually just allowing them to enter mine. You know, a lot of times, we go to work\u2014or we go to Home Depot or somewhere\u2014and we want our own time. One of the things I\u2019ve really found joy in, especially with four girls, where I can\u2019t do dating\u2014I mean, you had four girls\u2014dating four girls gets to be, not impossible, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014expensive! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014expensive and difficult to do! So you have to get very creative about what a date is. They don\u2019t know that Home Depot is not a great date!\u2014just throw them in the car! [Laughter] So just allowing them to enter my world\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Shhh! There are some of them listening to this broadcast!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cDaddy\u2019s going to take me to Home Depot! That\u2019s really special.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Right. So just allowing them to enter my world\u2014whether it be my workplace, or Home Depot or, obviously, a date\u2014but just taking them with me so that they know that they\u2019re important, no matter where I am. When I leave the house, I don\u2019t leave them; so just taking them with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you will do that, sometimes, with all of them; but often, just one on one, with a particular girl; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; and I think you get to know their personalities. We have four girls with <em>very <\/em>different personalities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get to know their personality, and you get to know what they appreciate and what excites them. There are certain things I would ask \u201cDaughter One\u201d to do that I wouldn\u2019t ask \u201cDaughter Three\u201d to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> There are certain things I would ask \u201cDaughter Four\u201d to do that I wouldn\u2019t ask \u201cDaughter Two\u201d to do; you know? It\u2019s just\u2014you get to know them so well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, first and foremost, just allowing them to enter my world and intentionally bring them into my world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wynter, what\u2019s a relationship-building strategy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Well, one of the things I love to do\u2014and I opened right to it\u2014but I love this anyway; it doesn\u2019t matter the personality. I love just a quiet room to snuggle. All of the girls will do that\u2014some of them will do it a little longer; some of them will do it like 30 seconds, and then they\u2019re like, \u201cI\u2019ve got to move on.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that moment of just sitting quietly, just holding their hands, giving them a chance to breathe. If there\u2019s something to be said, they say it. A lot of times, they will randomly say something that, in the busyness, I would totally miss\u2014but just taking that time out to just kind of grab them. That\u2019s a perfect date for me, and all of the kids can appreciate it in some way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Will you say to one of your daughters, \u201cLet\u2019s have some snuggle time,\u201d or how do you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> I would always\u2014normally, already be in a very comfortable space. I\u2019ll invite them into it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What\u2019s another one for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> One really neat thing that we did, as a family\u2014and this is fun, because my wife is an introvert\u2014and I have two daughters who are very introverted. One of the things\u2014we found from another family\u2014was just sharing \u201chighs and lows\u201d like around the dinner table or just at night before you go to bed. Sharing highs and lows\u2014the high point of your day \/ the low point of your day\u2014is a way of creating conversations in your family that wouldn\u2019t otherwise exist. When you share highs and lows, you\u2019re actually starting to talk about what happened in your day; and you find out things you wouldn\u2019t have found out otherwise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Give our listeners an illustration of some highs and lows that were shared, and how you turned it into a conversation\u2014to not only embrace that child\u2014but also, maybe, build some values into their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> The highs and lows aren\u2019t really about anything earth-shattering or big idea. It\u2019s more just the daily grind of their lives \/ things that are happening. Some things you find out about them that you didn\u2019t realize was something that would excite them or something that you wouldn\u2019t realize would upset them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get opportunities just to pour into their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They might say, \u201cI got a bad test grade today,\u201d or \u201cMy teacher let me do this,\u201d or \u201cSomebody said something nice to me.\u201d They\u2019ll just come up\u2014they\u2019ll kind of bring you into their world, and you get a chance to understand what life is like for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> One of the biggest things it does, as well\u2014that, specifically\u2014is it just shows them they can talk to us. It creates an environment that, even though they may not have anything profound to say on <em>that day<\/em>; but when they do, like it comes up \/ it comes back; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike I can remember one of the things with Alena. She was really interested, one day\u2014Alena\u2019s our oldest, and she was probably in third grade\u2014she ran out to the car. This wasn\u2019t necessarily a high\/low together, as a family, but for her and me. She ran to the car, and she had her eyeglass case; she was holding it really tight. I remember looking at it, like, \u201cWhat is she doing?\u201d as she was coming; because it just looked different. She got to the car; she opens it. She pulls out a baggie full of ladybugs that she had collected all day long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis was\u2014she was <em>totally<\/em> excited about these ladybugs. I mean, that was like the \u201chigh\u201d of her whole day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I have to share, because Wynter\u2019s not excited about any bugs; I don\u2019t care how cute they are! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No! We\u2019re driving, and she is just going on. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her holding up this bag in the back seat. All of these bugs were just crawling around in this baggie; there were a lot of them! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think I know where this is going. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> I did not tell her\u2014in my mind, I was thinking: \u201cShe\u2019s going to throw that away!\u201d\u2014like: \u201cThrow it away!\u201d But, from her excitement, I could just tell: \u201cYou know what? This is a chance for me to show her that I\u2019m interested in the things that she\u2019s interested in.\u201d We went home; I did not ask her to throw them away. When we went home, we got online and we started googling \u201cHow to take care of ladybugs.\u201d We had a little jar, and we put food in\u2014I don\u2019t remember what now\u2014it was years ago. Whatever we put in there to make them eat\u2014you know, we didn\u2019t do a good job; because they all died\u2014[Laughter]\u2014like very soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think they had any air. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> You think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> They weren\u2019t thinking of that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> The idea was\u2014the idea that stood out to me, in that moment\u2014and what I\u2019m praying stands out for her, in years to come\u2014is just that, even though it was just ladybugs, and it was a third-grader, and it wasn\u2019t anything major or profound, the fact that I showed interest in something that she was interested in and created a moment that we could have together\u2014like: \u201cI\u2019m going to show you that, when you\u2019re interested in something I\u2019m not, I\u2019m going to join you in that world the same way I\u2019m going to bring you into mine. I\u2019m going to join you in the things that matter to you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014even though it was something that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014totally grossed me out!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Exactly! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you mentioned the word, \u201cbaggies.\u201d That\u2019s another story in your book that I love. This would be a good one, I think, to have a \u201chigh,\u201d as a parent, just to brag on one of your daughters. You have a daughter, who saw a young man walking down the street with baggy pants; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Saggy pants!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She made a comment that showed where her values were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes; and this is so funny, because we put this in the book. Wynter was thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t want to offend anybody!\u201d but it\u2019s just funny. This guy is walking down the street. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was driving the car. I think my oldest and my second one are in the car; the twins weren\u2019t born yet. We look over, and there was a guy walking down the street\u2014just kind of a, you know, younger guy, and his pants were baggy. She says, \u201cDaddy, I don\u2019t want to marry a man like that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWhy?\u201d She said, \u201cWell, he\u2019s not wearing his pants up on his waist.\u201d The whole thing is not about judging a guy for how he wears his pants; the whole point is\u2014and what I realized in that moment is\u2014that she\u2019s judging the world around her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; she\u2019s processing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014she\u2019s processing the world around her. I\u2019m getting to set the standard, for not only for how pants should be worn, but for everything else in life. It was just a proud moment for me, as a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And those are great moments to celebrate at the dinner table when you do your \u201chighs and lows.\u201d You can brag on one of your children in front of the rest of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And then ask God to help you catch your kids doing something right, so you can brag on them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Well, I just had another moment\u2014this was actually just this week. I had flown in town from somewhere; my daughter texted me\u2014my oldest girl, and she\u2019s almost 14\u2014she says: \u201cDaddy, can we have a conversation tonight?\u2014a private conversation?\u201d I text her back and I\u2019m like, \u201cOkay; is everything okay?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she said, \u201cYes; everything\u2019s okay.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI get home\u2014it is a beautiful day\u2014and we take a walk; we are walking our dog. The bottom line is\u2014we had a 30-\/40-minute walk and a conversation about two things: one is\u2014she shared that she was just struggling a little bit with anxious thoughts\u2014and she was just wondering, \u201cHow do I deal with that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of pulling out my Bible, like I would have, and just sharing Scripture with her on anxious thoughts, I actually said: \u201cWell, why don\u2019t you call one of my sisters? My baby sister\u2014she actually struggled with anxious thoughts when she was a teenager. Maybe she can help you some,\u201d\u2014that was the first thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, the second thing\u2014she just wanted to talk about boys and talk about a friend that she has. I was mature enough in this moment to actually have that conversation. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat that did for me was just really help me understand that me being available and me being a trusted person to talk to\u2014I\u2019m sorry!\u2014I forgot to say that, before she said that, she said: \u201cDaddy, I don\u2019t want to be like the other girls\u2014friends of mine\u2014that don\u2019t really have a relationship with their daddies or talk with their daddies. I want to talk with you about these things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I was going to wait until the broadcast was over to make a personal gift to you, as the father of four daughters, but I brought it here in the studio. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cYou know, here\u2019s a man who\u2019s going to need this book.\u201d Read the title of it, Wynter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date: 30 Minutes Man-to-Man<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Bam! [Laughter] Can I have it now!?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You can have it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Thank you! I appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got a feeling there\u2019s going to be some young men, who pull their pants up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> Oh, man! They will. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to come by your house to date your daughters!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really applaud your leadership in caring for your wife and your daughters, and intersecting their world with the truth of Scripture and the reality of Jesus Christ\u2014that He is there; they can follow Him and not compromise who they are, as young ladies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I hope you stopped\u2014when your daughter said: \u201cI don\u2019t want to be like my friends, who can\u2019t talk to their daddies about this. I want to have a relationship with my dad and talk about\u2026\u201d\u2014I hope you just said, \u201cThank You, Jesus!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I did; I did! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, for me, I think about Philippians 2\u2014and Jesus not considering His equality with God something to be grasped or held on to\u2014but He gave up, becoming a servant and humbling Himself. I think the <em>most<\/em> important thing that we can do, as dads, is humble ourselves; because we\u2019re going to make mistakes; we\u2019re going to have challenges. I mean, I find myself realizing that I\u2019m the wrong party sometimes. Having the humility\u2014I\u2019m not comparing that part to Jesus!\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but the other part of humility\u2014having the humility to be okay with being wrong \/ with having to apologize\u2014whatever it takes to keep my family together \/ to keep my daughters strong. I mean, humility, for men\u2014it is the one of the hardest things to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Wynter, I was watching your face as he was saying that he hadn\u2019t done it perfectly. It looked like there was something flashed across your mind. [Laughter] Our audience should have\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I thought she nodded; didn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, she did nod! But it was like there was something taking place there. Is there something you can share here? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s funny. I thought of: \u201cIt\u2019s true, but it\u2019s true for all of us\u2014that it\u2019s not done perfectly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJonathan is <em>not<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> In your eyes I am, baby!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014one of the things I thank God for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> \u2014in your eyes, I\u2019m perfect. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes, sweetie. [Laughter] But one of the things I am <em>always <\/em>grateful for in my husband is just that he is very humble and always willing to apologize and show that \/ offer that apology, whether it\u2019s me or the girls\u2014and just that it\u2019s a really big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s, also, very easy to cry. I was wondering, Babe\u2014when Alena said that to you, did you cry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t cry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Okay; that\u2019s not normal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I\u2019m not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> \u2014he cries all of the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan:<\/strong> I\u2019m surprised, now that you ask, that I didn\u2019t; but I didn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wynter:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m just thinking about the coaching that you provide in the middle section of this book about this critically important area of our relationship with our girls\u2014also with our boys, but you\u2019re focused on your four girls\u2014building a relationship with them and maintaining a relationship with them. Dennis, you\u2019ve said, for years, that the relationship is the bridge over which a boat-load of truth can be carried. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you\u2019ve got to have the relationship strong to be able to carry that truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a truckload of truth, not a boatload of truth, across the bridge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay! [Laughter] I guess I did mix my metaphors there; didn\u2019t I?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, we\u2019ve got copies of Jonathan and Wynter Pitts\u2019 book available in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order your copy: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. Again, it is 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d The book is titled <em>She is Yours: Trusting God as You Raise the Girl He Gave You<\/em>. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of the ways that you can spend more time together with your sons and daughters and spend time focused on God\u2019s Word\u2014FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has put together a series of family devotions that you can do over a four-week period. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe call this the <em>Growing Together <\/em>series; and it\u2019s available for free download at our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019re looking for a way to have some spiritually-meaningful times with your kids during the summer months, let us provide some help. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and download the <em>Growing Together <\/em>series. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who make it possible for us to provide resources like this for families all across the country and around the world. Those of you who support this ministry\u2014you help us reach more people, more regularly, through this daily radio program, our podcasts, our website, the resources we create, and our events. You make all of that possible when you donate to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We\u2019re grateful for those of you who do partner with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a long-time listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation, why don\u2019t you make today the day that you join the team? Go online and donate at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. And don\u2019t forget to download the <em>Growing Together <\/em>devotional series from our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow. Jonathan and Wynter Pitts will be here again. We\u2019ll continue talking about how we cultivate a strong, healthy relationship with our daughters so that we can carry a <em>truckload<\/em> of truth across the bridge to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300271"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300271"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300271"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300271"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}