{"id":300267,"date":"2018-06-15T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/ways-to-rekindle-romance\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:26","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:26","slug":"ways-to-rekindle-romance","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/ways-to-rekindle-romance\/","title":{"rendered":"Ways to Rekindle Romance"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis Rainey offers suggestions for ways couples can use adventure, intrigue, and surprise to keep the romance alive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:49","filesize":"24.55M","filesize_raw":"25741662","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10361,2860,2088],"tags":[4019,2976,2877,4420],"podcast_series":[7222],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300267","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-busyness-and-stress","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-romance-and-sex","tag-biblical-marriage","tag-christian-marriage","tag-marriage","tag-rekindle-romance","podcast_series-building-a-fire-in-the-rain","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300267\/ways-to-rekindle-romance","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300267\/ways-to-rekindle-romance","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"iP1PK9VIUd\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/ways-to-rekindle-romance\/\">Ways to Rekindle Romance<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/ways-to-rekindle-romance\/embed\/#?secret=iP1PK9VIUd\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Ways to Rekindle Romance&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"iP1PK9VIUd\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dennis Rainey offers suggestions for ways couples can use adventure, intrigue, and surprise to keep the romance alive.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The Bible says our goal in our marriage should be to regard our spouse as more important than ourselves. Dennis Rainey says, \u201cIf that\u2019s your goal, you need to understand what your spouse is going through.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is really a good question to ask almost every quarter in your marriage: \u201cSweetheart, what are your top three needs right now that I need to know so I can pray for you and, perhaps, help you solve and meet those needs? What are your top three needs?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, June 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. What are some ways that we can make sure we are rekindling the romance in our marriages? We\u2019ll explore that today with Dennis Rainey. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you found that there are seasons in marriage where romance happens a little\u00a0 more easily than in other seasons? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No? Really? [Laughter] It\u2019s been one long ride for you; huh? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s been\u2014it\u2019s like any fire. You have to get the wood out, create the spot, spark it, light it\u2014maybe, relight it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Stir the coals a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Stir the coals a little bit. [Laughter] Yes; I think early in our marriage, before we had kids\u2014and that was only two years\u2014there was a lot of romance, and fun, and intrigue. One of our radio listeners\u2014I\u2019ve quoted this lady many, many times here on the broadcast\u2014she said, \u201cIt was romance that gave us our children, and then children took our romance.\u201d [Laughter] I think there are a lot of competing forces for affection, time, and also sparks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But it\u2019s not just kids; job priorities; there can be physical challenges that you face in marriage; there can be stress or anxiety; there can be issues with other relationships\u2014in-laws, sibling relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014illness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is a lot that can make it hard for the two of you to get that time when you are able to just look at each other and go, \u201cYou know, I really love you; and I\u2019m glad to be with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This message was given to help couples re-fire the romance. If you missed the first half of the message, then I\u2019d encourage you to go back and listen to it. I\u2019d ask you to listen to it for two reasons: one is\u2014it\u2019s going to remind you of your marriage covenant and the commitment that you made to one another; but secondly, it\u2019s also going to talk about quenching fatal attractions that can cause destructive wildfires. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Putting some boundaries around your marriage; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. I shared my boundaries of what Barbara and I have agreed to in my life\u2014how I travel, who I travel with, who I talk to, and my relationships with other women\u2014whether it\u2019s coworkers or people I meet on the road: \u201cHow am I going to handle it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think Barbara and I have worked out a really healthy trust relationship because of boundaries that we, together, set around my life, earlier in our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; at one point in this message, you turned straight to the men; and you said, \u201cAlright; if you\u2019re going to keep the fire going in your marriage, there is something you need to do.\u201d That\u2019s where we are going to dive into today as we hear Part Two of your message on keeping romance alive in your marriage. Here\u2019s Dennis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Roman numeral III: \u201cLight a fire: Learn to speak woman.\u201d [Laughter] Guys, you need to learn a foreign language; okay? It\u2019s a foreign language\u2014Ephesians, Chapter 5, verse 25\u2014look at this: \u201cHusbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook at verses 28 and 29 of the same passage: \u201cFor no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do you learn to speak woman? Just like you\u2019d speak a foreign language\u2014you listen to it, and you begin to associate words with their meaning. You begin to understand your wife\u2014that her words have meaning, sometimes, that you\u2019ve been missing. She is <em>different<\/em>. You didn\u2019t marry yourself. You married her because God made her to be wo-man\u2014different from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Willard Harley, who for 20 years had more than 2,200 clients, discovered the top five needs of a woman through his research. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStarting with number five\u2014and guys, you might want to write these down\u2014starting with number five going to number one\u2014he said: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber five: \u201cFamily commitment.\u201d There\u2019s that security need, again, that we talked about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber four: \u201cSecurity\u2014spiritual, emotional, relational\u201d\u2014and guys\u2014\u201csexual.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber three: \u201cHonesty and openness.\u201d One of her greatest needs is for you, as a man, to let her into the interior of your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two: \u201cConversation,\u201d\u2014just plain old conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, Number one: \u201cAffection.\u201d You say, \u201cThere\u2014there it is!\u201d It is nonsexual affection\u2014it\u2019s affection that doesn\u2019t have a demand; it\u2019s affection that says, \u201cI love you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will never forget this\u2014Barbara was on the radio with Bob and me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and we were talking about how men and women look at romance differently. This was a classic moment\u2014we had been on the radio for 25 years\u2014and Bob asked Barbara, \u201cWell, how do women look at this differently than men?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said: \u201cWell, look at it like this. Just because A+B+C=D last night doesn\u2019t mean that A+B+C will equal D tomorrow night.\u201d She said: \u201cShe doesn\u2019t want to be figured out! [Laughter]\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t want to be reduced to a formula, so she changes the formula. [Laughter] Just because bringing flowers, getting a babysitter, taking her out to eat, having a great romantic evening, and then ending with sex happened that way\u2014means that next time you try that may be a big zero at that point. [Laughter] She wants to know you\u2019re after her, relationally.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re going to learn how to speak woman, guys, you have to listen to her speak. How do you learn a foreign language?\u2014you listen to it. You listen and pray a prayer: \u201cGod, would You help me to know how to better love my wife? Would You help me to know how to meet her needs?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, I\u2019m going to give you three questions this week for you to ask your wives to help you learn to speak woman by listening to her answers. If you\u2019re a really, really a smart guy, you\u2019ll write down her answers in front of her. [Laughter] Here are your three questions\u2014they\u2019re really pretty simple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk her: \u201cWhat\u2019s one of your favorite romantic moments in our marriage and why?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond question\u2014this is really a good question to ask almost every quarter in your marriage: \u201cSweetheart, what are your top three needs right now that I need to know so I can pray for you and, perhaps, help you solve and meet those needs? What are your top three needs?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, finally, number three: \u201cWhat\u2019s the desire of your heart?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love what Elisabeth Elliot said about the mark of a man. Elisabeth Elliot was a missionary to South America for a number of years\u2014lost her husband, who was martyred\u2014but listen to what she said: \u201cA man\u2019s willingness to offer up his life for his wife or for anyone else who happens to be in need of him is not the end of everything. It is only the end of himself,\u201d she said. \u201cHe who is fully man has relinquished his right to himself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, you\u2019ve been called to love your wives; to nourish your wives, which means to cause to grow; to cherish your wives, which means to value.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk the questions that will enable you to do that, intelligently, while speaking the language. Number three: \u201cLight a fire by learning how to speak woman.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber four\u2014ladies, you ready?\u2014\u201cSpark a flame by being a magnet to your man.\u201d Spark a flame by being a magnet to your man. Song of Solomon, again, Chapter 4, verses 7-10\u2014this is showing how attractive she is to him: \u201cYou are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Come with me from Lebanon, my bride. You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you\u2019ll take a look in Proverbs, Chapter 6,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that\u2019s what the prostitute does to lure men into their nest: the twinkle of the eye, the twist of the pearls, the invitation. Here\u2019s a woman, who understood her power and used it to attract her husband: \u201cHow beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!\u201d Ladies, you can be a magnet to your man. You\u2019ve got to be a student of him as he is of you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the early years of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we couldn\u2019t afford to take our wives to the conferences. Well, we\u2019d finished on Saturday, and I went up to the room. It was about ten o\u2019clock at night. I called home to talk to Barbara and the kids\u2014had turned on a movie, and the phone rang. It was a woman\u2019s voice on the phone, saying, \u201cHi; what are you doing?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m watching a movie.\u201d She said, \u201cCan I come up?\u201d I said, \u201cNo; I don\u2019t think you can.\u201d \u201cWell why?\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cWhy can\u2019t I come up?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019d like to come up and be with you.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, that wouldn\u2019t be a good idea.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cWell why?\u201d I said: \u201cTwo reasons. Number one: I am married to a phenomenal woman back in Little Rock, Arkansas, who is a magnet and who has got our family together; and I don\u2019t want to do anything to destroy that family.\u201d Then, I said, \u201cSecondly, I don\u2019t want you to come up, because the movie I\u2019m watching is <em>The Ten Commandments<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod\u2019s Word and God\u2019s woman can be a magnet to a man\u2019s soul. Ladies, I just want to encourage you to use your magnetism in your man\u2019s life to make a difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are three words that I want to use to describe Barbara Rainey: She respects me; she believes in me; and she receives me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tVery quickly, she respects me for who I am\u2014my workload \/ my season of life. Ladies, your husband needs to know he\u2019s respected by you. Number two: She believes in me. There\u2019s only one person I want to talk to after I speak, or do something, or write something that I want their opinion from\u2014it\u2019s Barbara\u2014because she won\u2019t give me baloney; she\u2019ll tell me the truth. And third, she receives me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, ladies, get your pencil out quickly\u2014time\u2019s wasting here\u2014three questions for you to ask your husband over these next six days. Become a better magnet by listening to your man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one: Hear how he answers the question, \u201cHow can I do a better job of encouraging you as the leader of our family?\u201d Ask him that: \u201cHow can I do a better job of encouraging you as the leader of our family?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two: \u201cWould you rather be loved or respected?\u201d That\u2019s not a trick question. It may help you, ladies, understand the impact and the difference between love and respect: \u201cWould you rather be loved or respected?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber three: \u201cWhen have you felt most respected by me?\u2014when have you felt most respected by me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpark a flame by being a magnet to your man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis last one\u2014Roman numeral V: \u201cIn order to build a fire in the rain, relational adventure, intrigue, and a surprise.\u201d Song of Solomon, Chapter 8, verses 6-7\u2014we read it earlier: \u201cSet me as a seal on your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death.\u201d It\u2019s an adventure. Love is an adventure with another imperfect person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOswald Chambers said this about the adventure: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHuman nature, if it\u2019s healthy, demands excitement. If it does not obtain thrilling excitement in the right way, it will seek it in the wrong,\u201d\u2014that doesn\u2019t make that right, by the way. He goes on to say: \u201cGod never makes bloodless stoics. He makes passionate saints.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust a few thoughts on this quickly:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRead a book together out loud. On a vacation that was a week-long, Barbara and I read a 700-page novel out loud to each other\u2014a totally new experience for us. It\u2019s still one of our most special times together, as a couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive the gift of time to one another\u2014ask your spouse, \u201cWhat would be the ideal morning for you?\u201d Then, do it. Provide the ideal morning \/ the ideal afternoon \/ the ideal evening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the last one: Surprise one another with something fun like you did when you dated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you have allowed marriage to rob your relationship of its romance. The competition is not over\u2014you\u2019re still in a battle, trying to win your spouse. Sometimes, God can show up in some moments that are holy moments, where a couple go the distance, and their love is a model for others\u2014like this little piece that I\u2019ll close with by a plastic surgeon, Dr. Richard Selzer, who describes a very intimate moment of a woman that he had operated on just some moments before. Listen to his description\u2014this is holy right here\u2014these are his words: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI stand by the bed, where a young woman lies, her mouth twisted in palsy\u2014clownish. A tiny twig of a facial nerve, the one to the muscles of her mouth, has been severed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe will be thus from now on. The surgeon had followed with religious fervor the curve of her flesh; I promise you that\u2014I really tried. Nevertheless, to remove the tumor in her cheek, I had to cut the little nerve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHer husband is in the room; he stands on the opposite side of the bed. Together, they seem to dwell in the evening lamplight, isolated from me, very private. \u201cWho are they?\u201d\u2014I ask myself, this wry mouth that I have made\u2014\u201cwho gaze at each other and touch each other so generously, so greedily?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe young woman speaks. \u201cWill my mouth always be like this?\u201d she asks. \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014I say\u2014\u201cIt will. It is because the nerve was cut.\u201d She nods and is silent, but the young man smiles. \u201cI kind of like it,\u201d\u2014he says\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s kind of cute.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll at once, I know who he is. I understand. I lower my gaze. Unmindful, he bends down to kiss her crooked mouth; and I am so close that I can see how he twists his lips to accommodate hers to show her that their kiss would still work. I hold my breath and let the wonder in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you realize you\u2019ve been asked to kiss someone, who is broken, with the love of Christ? That\u2019s your assignment for the rest of your life\u2014what an adventure \/ what a privilege\u2014as you move forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve been listening to Part Two of a message from Dennis Rainey about keeping romance alive in a marriage. This is something we\u2019ve got to be purposeful and intentional about. The romance isn\u2019t going to just happen by itself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got to make it a priority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that touching story that I shared at the end\u2014of that scene the surgeon had the privilege of observing with a patient\u2014all of us, really, are kissing people with crooked lips. It may not be that their lips are crooked, but their heart is. We\u2019re kissing broken people, and they need our love. Nobody does that perfectly, but you\u2019ve got to keep on keeping on and not withdraw that love when things don\u2019t work out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Bob, we kind of laughed about starting a fire. Some of our listeners may have been tempted to turn this off; because there\u2019s not been a fire in some time in their marriage, and they\u2019ve lost hope. I would just encourage you: \u201cMaybe, take this before God in prayer and say, \u2018God, would You restore hope in my heart so I might be able to reach out and kiss my spouse and offer some warmth of love?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think marriages and people need that today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If a husband or a wife was here and said: \u201cEvery time I try to light a match to get a fire going, my spouse just blows it out. I have tried over and over again, and I am rebuffed. So, I just moved to isolation,\u201d what would you say? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I would say: \u201cNot at night, when you are both exhausted, but maybe, some Saturday morning, go on a date and\u2014either have written a letter that you take with you that you read or you give to your spouse\u2014and you just appeal to the relationship. You appeal for their love \/ for their heart to trust you once again.\u201d I think some of the reasons those fires go out, Bob, is there has been broken trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Someone, who has broken that trust, may want it to be like flipping a switch and make it all right again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUsually, where there has been a major breach of trust\u2014maybe, around affairs or pornography\u2014it takes some time. You might \/ ought to talk about: \u201cWhat will it take to rebuild that trust?\u201d and \u201cWhat do [I] need to do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sometimes, there\u2019s a pain that your spouse is experiencing \/ some kind of an emotional hurt\u2014it may have nothing to do with you. It could just be that whatever is the source of that pain is bleeding through, and you\u2019re getting the brunt end of it; but this is where we are called to persevere in love, even in the hard times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re called to, again, kiss people with crooked lips. Bob, I do think this is an interesting age; because there are a lot of things being shared in public of assaults, of abuse, of affairs that occurred. I think it ought to make us more tender toward one another to protect our marriages but also to help in the restorative process of compassionate love for our spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe all need that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, too, if you haven\u2019t scheduled a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we\u2019ve got\u2014what?\u201430\/35 of them this fall? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sign up for one of these things\u2014they are really, really good. We had over 60,000 people go through the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> in the last 12 months. It is the best getaway for couples, where you\u2019re going to be enriched, biblically and spiritually; but you\u2019ll laugh\u2014you\u2019ll laugh a lot, you\u2019ll have some fun, and you\u2019ll have a date night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of our listeners have been hearing me talk about this for a long time; and I\u2019ve talked to you\u2014I\u2019ve said, \u201cHey, have you ever been to the conference?\u201d \u201cNo; I haven\u2019t been yet.\u201d \u201cBreak out. Start a fire, and we\u2019ll be there to help pour a little kerosene on it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find out more about the getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re having our last getaways of the spring this weekend, but we have a full lineup of getaways happening this fall. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve got copies of a book that you and Barbara have written on the subject of romance. It\u2019s called <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s one of my favorite books that you guys have written. Half the book is written to the husbands; half the book is written to the wives. You can order a copy of the book from us at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this weekend, please remember to be in prayer for hundreds of couples in Orlando, Florida, and in Sugarland, Texas, who are joining us for our final <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways of spring 2018. We\u2019ll be kicking off <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> events again in the fall. These weekend getaways are a part of how we work to effectively develop godly marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, this is where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> got started, back more than 40 years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you invest in this ministry, you help us expand the reach and the impact, not only of the getaways and this daily radio program, but all that we are doing\u2014online \/ the resources we are developing. Thanks for your ongoing support of this ministry. More people are being impacted more often because you give. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by sending you a copy of a book that Barbara Rainey has written for young moms and young wives. It\u2019s called <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>, and it\u2019s her thoughts on what the Bible has to say about those key roles that a woman plays in a marriage. We\u2019ll send you a copy of the book when you request it as you make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. You can also mail your donation, along with your request for Barbara\u2019s book, to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church; and then, we hope you\u2019ll join us back on Monday when Jonathan and Wynter Pitts are going to be here to talk about raising daughters\u2014trusting God as you raise the girl or the girls He\u2019s given you. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300267"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300267"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300267"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300267"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}