{"id":300265,"date":"2018-06-14T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-14T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-foundation-of-commitment\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:26","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:26","slug":"a-foundation-of-commitment","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-foundation-of-commitment\/","title":{"rendered":"A Foundation of Commitment"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage is built upon a foundation of commitment to Christ and to your covenant with each other. Dennis Rainey talks about proactive ways you can uphold your marriage commitment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-14.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:59","filesize":"25.63M","filesize_raw":"26872617","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10361,2860,2088],"tags":[4019,2976,2877,4419],"podcast_series":[7222],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300265","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-busyness-and-stress","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-romance-and-sex","tag-biblical-marriage","tag-christian-marriage","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-covenant","podcast_series-building-a-fire-in-the-rain","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300265\/a-foundation-of-commitment","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300265\/a-foundation-of-commitment","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ep5coFu3if\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-foundation-of-commitment\/\">A Foundation of Commitment<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-foundation-of-commitment\/embed\/#?secret=ep5coFu3if\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Foundation of Commitment&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ep5coFu3if\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Marriage is built upon a foundation of commitment to Christ and to your covenant with each other. Dennis Rainey talks about proactive ways you can uphold your marriage commitment.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Longevity in marriage is not something that just happens. It takes intentionality. Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara and I have been married 45 years. I\u2019m going to tell you\u2014we have had some rugged spots in raising six kids through the teenage years and beyond; but we have never, ever uttered the d-word. We made a commitment we would not say the d-word; instead, we have used the c-word: \u201cI\u2019m committed. I\u2019m not leaving. We\u2019re sticking together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 14<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When your commitment to your marriage is tested\u2014and it will be\u2014what do you do? How do you stay close rather than drifting toward isolation? We\u2019ll hear from Dennis Rainey about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to start some fires on the broadcast today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Start some fires? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014creating fires of romance\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; that kind of fire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014fires of romance in your marriage. This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Got it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you forgotten where you were?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was just wondering what we were going to talk about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That movie that you created\u2014that movie\u2014I think it burned a few extra\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; I was just thinking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014extra gray cells. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you want to talk about fire today; okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I don\u2019t have that many to spare. You can spare a few, but\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is actually\u2014we\u2019re actually going to hear a portion today of a message that you shared with an audience earlier this year. This was a message about keeping romance alive even in those seasons of life when it\u2019s hard to do; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to encourage all of our listeners to go all the way to the end; because near the end of the broadcast, I share about building some boundaries around your lives \/ around your marriage; so you can have a fire pit and have the fires burning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright; well, let\u2019s dive right into the fire; shall we? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We shall! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here is Part One of a message from\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s change that a bit\u2014diving into the fire\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re the one who starting saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s go start some fires\u2014forget diving in! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey talking about keeping romance alive in your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, as some of you know, we have six adult children who are now all married. You know, when we were in the process of raising teenagers, I had a little\u2014I wouldn\u2019t call it a tradition\u2014it was just being a daddy. I decided, when the girls were little and I took them on dates, I would interview their dates; so, when they grew up, they expected Dad to have a little conversation with the guy who wanted to take them out. I interviewed somewhere in the neighborhood of 35\/40 young men\u2014actually, 34 to 39\u2014one of them fainted in my front room; he didn\u2019t quite make the cut. [Laughter] But I\u2019ve got to tell you something\u2014it was one of the most holy, high privileges\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to intersect with these 16- to 18-year-old young men, who had come to take out my daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, that was so successful in really connecting with these young men\u2014by the time they got married, and a young man came to ask for their hand in marriage, I decided that, if the wedding was going to cost what it was going to cost, then I was going to have more to say than a line in a wedding when the pastor asked, \u201cWho gives this woman to be married to this man?\u201d\u2014\u201cHer mother and I do.\u201d [Laughter] I decided I wanted to have something to say to this young man about what it meant to care for, to nourish, to protect, to love, and honor our daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last one just showed up about a year-and-a-half ago. His name was Josh, and he was showing up to get our daughter who, at the time, was 31; right, sweetie? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLaura had been single a long time, and she had been praying for the young man to come get her. Here\u2019s the thing\u2014because of our work, Barbara and I knew that their marriage was going to take place on a spiritual battlefield. If they were going to keep the fire burning of their romance, they needed to know some things and apply some things in their marriage before they got married. I asked Josh if he would meet with me for six sessions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, by the time I got to Josh, I had refined this a little bit. [Laughter] It started out to be six conversations\u2014they were about 60 minutes each. Well, I met with Josh for 90 minutes. One evening, it lasted for two hours. I think that was the one on sex, but there is no greater privilege\u2014I want to tell\u2014than preparing a young person to go into this institution of marriage\u2014the way the Book opens \/ the Bible opens\u2014and to help them know how to experience that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I want to share with you about keeping the fires burning and building a fire in the rain in your marriage\u2014keeping the romance alive \/ keeping the relationship thriving\u2014instead of just getting by\u2014I want to shoot straight with you\u2014just like I did with Josh. I want to share with you five ways to keep the fire burning in your marriage. You know this\u2014this is just a tough culture to keep a marriage\u2014the marriage fires burning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first point is: \u201cMarriage is built upon the foundation of commitment.\u201d Have you ever tried to strike a match on a windy day? What do you look around for if you\u2019re trying to strike a match on a windy day? You try to find a corner around the building, where you\u2019re out of the wind. Well, I want to talk with you about how commitment can be a wall\u2014a four-sided wall\u2014around your marriage to keep the fires burning, and keep it safe inside the marriage, and to strike the original match that God had for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo do that, I want to look at a passage of Scripture: Matthew, Chapter 7, verses 24-27. Look at this: \u201cEveryone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.\u201d\u2014\u201cAnd everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoth houses had the same storms, the same floods, the same winds. One stood; the other perished. Why?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because it had been built on the rock of Jesus Christ. Commitment to Christ is the first commitment of two I want to talk with you about\u2014a surrender to Christ that says: \u201cYou\u2019ve got my life, Lord. Do with me as You wish.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I signed a commitment in our first Christmas in 1972 and surrendered our lives to Christ; and God showed up and showed off. He gave us great privileges we never <em>dreamed<\/em> of. I was hoping for two kids\u2014He gave us six; a few grandkids\u2014we got 23. [Laughter] God is a God of great benefits if you\u2019ll surrender to Him and take Him at His word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ran across something that I want you all to listen carefully to. It\u2019s a quote by C.S. Lewis that Barbara found: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tImagine yourself a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt first, perhaps, you understand what He\u2019s doing. He\u2019s getting the drains right, stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on. You knew those jobs needed to be done, so you\u2019re not surprised; but presently, God starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is God up to? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe explanation is He is building a quite different house from the one you thought of\u2014throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, listen to Lewis\u2019s conclusion: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just thought you were being made into a decent little cottage, but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in that palace Himself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the adventure\u2014the adventure of the God of the universe\u2014that you can know Him, and walk with Him, and be obedient to Him, and surrender to Him, and experience what He has for your life. So, how do you do that? How do you get this commitment straight? I think you do it by praying together every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Barbara and I have prayed together for 45 years. We have missed a few days, here and there, but not many. Many times, it\u2019s just a short prayer; but I want to tell you something\u2014I\u2019m convinced that two stubborn, selfish, strong-willed human beings, when we bend our wills before Almighty God, He shows up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would challenge you, as one of your action points, as you come out of this week, determine you\u2019re going to take God at His word and both begin to yield, on a daily basis, and let that be the wall\u2014the wall that enables you to build a fire in your marriage, where God shows up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI say it this way: \u201cThe couple that prays together stays together and grays together.\u201d It\u2019s a great privilege to walk with Christ with Barbara Rainey and to have done it for 45 years. I love her, and it\u2019s been a privilege to do it with our Savior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a second commitment here I want you to notice. It\u2019s a commitment to keep your covenant. Song of Solomon, Chapter 8, is a great book on romance. This is the Shulamite woman, Solomon\u2019s wife\u2014she says: \u201cSet me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are the flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is she talking about? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s talking about desiring the safety of a promise that says: \u201cI\u2019ve got you, Babe. It\u2019s you and me for a lifetime.\u201d Barbara and I have been married 45 years. I\u2019m going to tell you\u2014we have had some rugged spots in raising six kids through the teenage years and beyond; but we have never, ever uttered the d-word. We made a commitment we would not say the d-word; instead, we have used the c-word: \u201cI\u2019m committed. I\u2019m not leaving. We\u2019re sticking together.\u201d This is the second half of the fence\u2014the fence that says, \u201cWe\u2019re in this together for a lifetime.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do you build a fire? You build it through a commitment to Christ and a covenant with one another. The first point, then: \u201cMarriage is built upon the foundation of commitments.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond way to build a fire in the rain is: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cQuench fatal attractions that cause destructive wildfires.\u201d This is in the news: #MeToo. Our nation is waking up that it cannot be a sexually-permissive nation. The Proverbs warns about this: Proverbs, Chapter 6, verse 25-29\u2014look at this: \u201cDo not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor\u2019s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt says you\u2019ll get scorched\u2014fire can be destructive. Fire in a fireplace, which Barbara and I love, can warm you. A couple of years ago, we were celebrating a new year, sitting by the fire in our fireplace, enjoying a really nice, warm fire with oak burning. All of a sudden, there was a noise\u2014a sound like a jet. There was a chimney fire heading up our chimney. I went outside, and flames were shooting out of the chimney in 360 degrees about three feet. We thought we were going to burn the house down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFires can be destructive when they are not burning in the place they need to be burning. Let your fire be for one woman \/ for one man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I learned from that chimney fire\u2014listen to me\u2014preventative maintenance is the place to begin. [Laughter] I should have called a chimney sweep\u2014I didn\u2019t think that it was building up\u2014but it was dangerous! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look back over my life, and I look and I think, \u201cGod has been so good to give me the advice of others who have walked before me to help me build some boundaries to keep my fire in the fireplace.\u201d As a man, I just want you to listen to some of my list that I have developed of boundaries and precautions about the opposite sex. I haven\u2019t done this perfectly, but I\u2014there is no woman who is going to #MeToo about me, because I have been faithful to one woman for 45 years. [Applause]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust real quickly, here they are: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI try to never get in a car alone with a woman. I can tell you the last two times in forty-five years where that happened; and I thought, \u201cI should not be here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always try to copy Barbara when writing emails to women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe only women I go to lunch with by myself is Barbara, my daughters, my granddaughters, and my daughters-in-law. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t friend on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> former classmates from high school or college. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always try to get a side hug instead of a front hug. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I have a meeting with a woman, the blinds are open, the door is cracked open. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI only kiss members of my family on the cheek and very close friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I struggle consistently with lust, I tell Barbara. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen taking a picture with a female and her husband, I try to put my hand on his back and not hers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, I made a commitment to Barbara I would not share our personal struggles that we go through with another woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, you may think some of those are foolish; I don\u2019t. Let me tell you something\u2014just like my chimney, preventative maintenance is the place to start to prevent destructive wildfires. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways we prevented it\u2014date nights. Barbara and I had a standing date night on Sunday night. When we would occasionally miss that, when we had teenagers\u2014our kids would come to us and say: \u201cMom\/ Dad, aren\u2019t you going out on a date? We want you out of here tonight!\u201d [Laughter] They were needing a break from us just like we were from them. Our date nights gave us a chance to recalibrate our priorities, along with raising them and how we were doing it\u2014which one needed work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of radio listeners wrote us\u2014she said, \u201cIt was romance that gave us our children, and it was the children that took our romance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to me\u2014your marriage\u2014your marriage must be built to outlast your kids. It is more important that your kids know that you\u2019re wife is far more important to you than they are; and moms, the same thing is true for your love for your husband. My daughter over here [pointing to Laura] knows: I love her \/ I love her sisters and brothers; but hey, it\u2019s Barbara that I choose over them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>There are other fires you need to quench\u2014just a couple of comments about this\u2014emotional affairs. Emotional affairs are the beginning of a sexual affair. A sexual affair doesn\u2019t start in bed. It starts when two hearts connect around a problem or a need, and two people spark a little fire off to the side. Sexual affairs don\u2019t begin in bed\u2014they begin emotionally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuench those fires. I\u2019ve given the phone to a guy and said, \u201cCall her now and put an end to your relationship before it goes too far.\u201d Quench the fire in order to have a fire in your fireplace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, there is the fire today of pornography. I can\u2019t tell you how dangerous this is and how passionately I feel about what we are doing to our sons and our daughters, who are seven\/eight\/nine\/ten years old. We can\u2019t have a permissive society like we\u2019ve had and poison a generation as they get started\u2014it\u2019s addictive in the brain. And who did God give children to?\u2014parents! You can\u2019t be omnipresent, but you know what? You can ask God to help you catch them\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u2014it\u2019s not to condemn them but walking them out of their failures into being obedient to Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf anyone here is struggling with pornography and addicted, you\u2019ve got to go to another man, as a man, and confess that. Get in community and find healing and hope, because this is going to destroy our nation. It\u2019s a dangerous, dangerous drug. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuench fatal attractions that cause destructive wildfires. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve been listening to the first part of a message from Dennis Rainey about keeping romance a priority in your marriage. If you\u2019re going to keep romance a priority, you\u2019ve got to make sure that the fire stays in the fireplace; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You do. Marriage starts out with a white hot heat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of that is youth; some of that is new love; but every marriage needs to experience that white hot heat of romance later on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I, after 45 years of marriage, still battle to find time to start a few fires and to have some romance. If you\u2019re not intentional, I think what can happen is\u2014I think you can kind of let the fire go out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just to make sure that the guys, who are listening, understand what you\u2019re saying. You\u2019re not just saying you need to protect some time to be intimate in bed\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh no! I\u2019m talking about\u2014to cultivate the relationship \/ have some time. In fact, last night\u2014Barbara would not mind me sharing this\u2014but last night, we were lying in bed. Barbara says: \u201cThis afternoon, when I took a nap, I just had the thought, \u2018If I could just fly away\u2014you know the Scriptures about mounting up with wings like eagles?\u2019\u201d\u2014she was just weary; okay?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201c\u2019I could just fly away\u2019\u201d\u2014then, there was a pause; and she said\u2014\u201c\u2019and take you with me.\u2019\u201d I said, \u201cMan, I was hoping I made the cut!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what you\u2019re looking for\u2014you\u2019re looking for time with your spouse, where you get a chance to fly away to a spot\u2014take a walk, hold hands, refresh your memories of why you married each other and why you love each other. Don\u2019t let the fire go out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys have written on this in one of my favorite books that you\u2019ve written together, called <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>, where you talk to both husbands and wives about what we can do to make sure that our love for one another stays vibrant in our marriage relationship through the years. We\u2019ve got copies of that book available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can call 1-800-358-6329 to order <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. The number, again, is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019ve been talking about today is something that we talk about all the time, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We\u2019re talking about oneness in marriage. When you boil it down, that\u2019s God\u2019s design for us in a marriage relationship\u2014that a husband and wife could experience the kind of oneness that God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit all experience in their relationship within the Trinity. That is a perfect oneness that\u2019s experienced within the Trinity. Our oneness will always be imperfect because of our sinfulness; but as followers of Christ, we can have a taste of what that oneness is designed to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, our goal is to continue to provide you with practical biblical help and hope so that your marriage can be all that God intends for it to be and that your family can be strong and can thrive in this culture. We\u2019re grateful for those of you who make this ministry possible. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> could not exist if it weren\u2019t for a committed team of folks who donate to this ministry so that we can continue the work God has called us to do. Your donations help expand the reach of this ministry. More and more people are listening online, downloading these messages, listening through our app. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is being heard and downloaded worldwide, and you make all of that possible every time you donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can make a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of a book Barbara Rainey has written called <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>. In the book, Barbara gives advice on being a wife and a mom. The book is our gift to you when you donate today, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call to donate\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329 to donate. You can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019ll hear more from Dennis Rainey about how we keep romance alive in our marriage, even when we\u2019re going through tough times. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300265"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300265"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300265"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300265"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}