{"id":300263,"date":"2018-06-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-is-biblical-marriage-like\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:26","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:26","slug":"what-is-biblical-marriage-like","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-biblical-marriage-like\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Biblical Marriage Like?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pastor Todd Wilson, a husband for over 20 years and father to seven, tells how he&#8217;s raising his children to know what a biblical marriage is like.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-13.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:23","filesize":"24.15M","filesize_raw":"25325096","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2896,2815],"tags":[4414,4019,4418,2976],"podcast_series":[7221],"cwp_profile":[8835],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300263","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-lgbt","category-sexual-wholeness","tag-bible-verses-about-marriage","tag-biblical-marriage","tag-book-of-genesis","tag-christian-marriage","podcast_series-mere-sexuality","cwp_profile-todd-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300263\/what-is-biblical-marriage-like","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300263\/what-is-biblical-marriage-like","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"fy6d5E9C2S\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-biblical-marriage-like\/\">What Is Biblical Marriage Like?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-biblical-marriage-like\/embed\/#?secret=fy6d5E9C2S\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What Is Biblical Marriage Like?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"fy6d5E9C2S\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Most people in our culture today don\u2019t think you ought to wait until you are married to become sexually active. In fact, some people think that\u2019s a big mistake. Todd Wilson says we need to recalibrate our understanding of the power of human sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd: <\/strong>Sex can bring into existence an eternal being\u2014that\u2019s <em>incredible<\/em>! That is such a power that we have been given by the grace of God. It <em>requires<\/em> the safe confines of a marital union to steward responsibly that power.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. When it comes to the boundaries for human sexuality, it\u2019s clear that God really does know best. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Todd Wilson. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. One of the challenges you face sometimes, when you are talking about issues of human sexuality, is you can get hyper focused on all of the things that people are doing wrong that you forget that there is a part of this that people are doing right. That needs to be understood and celebrated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does! There are some things though that we are doing wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you remember, when the Supreme Court redefined marriage to include people of the same sex, I wrote a little piece; I took a good bit of time to write it. But I wrote a little piece\u2014not pounding the table, yelling and screaming, uttering inflammatory words\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember what you wrote\u2014I remember you saying, \u201cThe decision came down, and it made me sad.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and I grieved! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sent it out to a few of my friends\u2014you know, a couple hundred thousand. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Folks who listened to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, or who had been to our events; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTodd Wilson joins us again on the broadcast. I want to tell you what happened, Todd. After writing this piece, I received the most number of negative emails that I\u2019ve ever received in the history of everything I\u2019d done, up to that point, for FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was people who said: \u201cHow can you be a Christian and hold to those kinds of narrow convictions of what you believe? Take us off the mailing list!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was, again, charges of: \u201cYou are unloving,\u201d \u201cYou lack compassion,\u201d \u201cYou are unkind for holding these rigid views.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can say, in this culture, there are people, who have held rigid views, and have been unkind and lacked compassion; and yet, it\u2019s not the views that lack compassion\u2014it\u2019s the way you handle it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014the view is not rigid. We hold our views, rigidly, I think is the thing. You can hold a very narrow view with a very winsome posture,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014which I think makes a big difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You understand that because you are a pastor of a church in Oak Park, Illinois\u2014that\u2019s in Chicago\u2014Calvary Memorial Church. You and your wife Katie have been married 21 years; you have seven kids\u2014three bios and four adopted from Ethiopia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In the midst of this, you\u2019re raising kids in the most chaotic, confusing, sexual time that I think has ever been to raise a family. How are you teaching your kids what a real marriage is, and what it looks like, and how they can embrace God\u2019s view of sexuality and move forward as young people in this culture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes; great question. The main thing we are trying to do is\u2014just live it well, to be honest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do a little lecturing, if you will. Obviously, we teach them Scripture; we teach them what God\u2019s Word says about these things; and they pick this up in church, in Sunday school classes, and all the rest of it; so they are getting good biblical content and biblical input. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut perhaps the most important thing we are doing is\u2014we are trying to model a healthy marriage, where mom loves dad \/ dad loves mom. We\u2019re not perfect, and we try to own that fact and model a grace-filled marriage for them. It makes it compelling \/ makes it something they would want to aspire to one day, because one of the things is\u2014we\u2019re not getting in the culture\u2014is a vision for \u201cHey! Isn\u2019t marriage a wonderful thing?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you talk about in your book, <em>Mere Sexuality. <\/em>I want to just kind of pull you back, and maybe turn our kitchen table\u2014where we do these broadcasts around\u2014into a coaching of parents to know where in the Bible to turn to give your children just a good crystal clear, simple picture of what biblical marriage looks like. What passage would you turn to? I know where I would turn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to see where you would turn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I would go to three places. I would start at Genesis 1:27, where we are created in the image of God, as male and female\u2014and talk about the importance of sexual complementarity, as men and women\u2014that\u2019s the foundation of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then I would turn a page over to Genesis 2:24, where it talks about the leaving and cleaving passage\u2014and the significance of that and the nature of marriage that\u2019s described there. Then I would go\u2014finish it off\u2014with Ephesians, Chapter 5 and bring Jesus into the conversation\u2014that the mystery of Genesis 1 plus 2 is ultimately Christ\u2014so talk about how male and female, and marriage itself, is a picture in pointing towards the beautiful salvific work that we have in Christ\u2014that Paul talks about in Ephesians 5. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In the context of that\u2014to talk about sexuality and why, by design, God said our expression of our sexuality, as male and female, ought to be confined to a committed monogamous covenantal relationship\u2014if a child says: \u201cSo why is it such a big deal? Why can\u2019t we have sex partners, like we have tennis partners, and just enjoy some recreational sex?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s right\u2014that\u2019s certainly the message they are getting in the culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your 16-year-old may not ask that question; but your 19-year-old is wondering that when somebody says, \u201cDo you want to come back to my room?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And this is where Genesis 2:24 is such an important passage\u2014that: \u201cFor this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEverything related to sexual ethics in the Christian faith emerges out of and flows from the understanding of the one-flesh union\u2014the exclusivity of marriage \/ the permanence of marriage. <em>Everything<\/em>\u2014every sexual deviance is a breakdown of the one-flesh concept, I think. One flesh\u2014I think, biblically\u2014Genesis 2:24\u2014is referring quite literally to our flesh\/our bodies. Talking about becoming one-flesh union is talking about\u2014not just people coming together in marriage to unite their minds, their hearts, or their spirits; of course, that is true\u2014but it\u2019s uniting their bodies, physically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, the one flesh being talked about is even more concrete than bodies. It\u2019s the sexual part of our body, quite literally. When these two separate fleshes come together to perform one single biological function\u2014that, I think, is very concretely\u2014is what the Bible envisions with one flesh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is why marriage has always, historically for Christians, been understood as a union of two people that are opposite sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You picked the passage I would have picked. You cheated because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014used a couple?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014you used three; you used three!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s good biblical theology! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was over here, listening to you\u2014I was going, \u201cHe just masterfully took\u2014he cherry-picked all three of the best ones and wrapped them up in Jesus Christ and the gospel.\u201d You can\u2019t beat what you just did! I love what you did there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m glad you are emphasizing the idea of permanence\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014exclusivity and permanence to one person\u2014leave and cleave. The word, cleave, means to stick like glue. It\u2019s the marriage covenant that takes two strangers and allows them to begin a lifetime to walk together, and can truly become one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; but you know, as well as I do, that the voices in the culture are saying: \u201cExclusivity means you are going to miss out on a whole lot of fun and pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cTo be exclusive with one person and to wait until marriage is restrictive; and it\u2019s puritanical; and it\u2019s just made up by people who are killjoys. If you want to enjoy the robust life, then you need to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014\u201c\u2026go for it\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u2014Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u201cThe hook-up culture is hot; come on!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I would just want to say\u2014this is a little bit sarcastic or flippant\u2014I don\u2019t mean for it to be flippant\u2014but \u201cHow\u2019s that working out for our culture?\u201d I mean, to be blunt: \u201cHow is that working out?\u201d That is a disaster! That is a grand scale social experiment that is a disaster. Do you know who the most impacted by the free-love movement notion are?\u2014those who are <em>most<\/em> impacted by this\u2014are not men\/not women\u2014but children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s who I was thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Children. That\u2019s why we ought to really care about the historic, biblical vision of marriage\u2014the kind you promote at your conferences \/ the kind I am trying to talk about in this book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u2014because children are the most vulnerable and the most impacted by the breakdown of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going out the front of our church, and walking down Lake Street in Oak Park and was getting ready to cross the street. There, across the street, on the other side was a young woman, who had a\u2014like she had just seen a ghost\u2014she just had this distraught look on her face. As I walked across the street, she stayed on her side of the street. By the time I got there, she said, \u201cPastor Todd.\u201d I said, \u201cOh, yes; do I know you?\u201d She says, \u201cYes; I\u2019ve been coming to Calvary for a little while.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d and she began to weep. She had recently moved into town and was working at the fitness club in the area and had a one-night stand and just found out she was pregnant. The weight of that and the devastation of that was just overwhelming to her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSex is too powerful a thing to have it be a recreational activity on college campuses. It\u2019s so <em>powerful<\/em>. Sex can bring into existence an eternal being\u2014that\u2019s <em>incredible!<\/em> That is such a power that we have been given by the grace of God. It <em>requires<\/em> the safe confines of a marital union to <em>steward<\/em> responsibly that power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And let me just say\u2014it\u2019s why young people today need to be hearing conversations like this with their mom and dad\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014within the confines of a committed couple\u2014who don\u2019t have a perfect marriage \/ who are living it out imperfectly in front of their kids\u2014but who aren\u2019t leaving \/ who aren\u2019t going anywhere. Kids today need hope\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that a marriage can go the distance, but they also need to know to protect the gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The gift of sex is something you just can\u2019t go give indiscriminately to other people. You need to protect it and save it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! That\u2019s right! Genesis 1:20; Genesis 1:27-28: \u201cAnd God blessed them and said, \u2018Be fruitful and multiply.\u2019\u201d There is a <em>blessing<\/em> to sex; it is a <em>beautiful<\/em> thing. Christians need to be at the <em>forefront<\/em> of heralding the beauty of sex. I think we get a bad rap in the culture as: \u201cWe\u2019re not into sex,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re the Puritans; we\u2019re not into sex,\u201d\u2014and all the rest\u2014\u201cThe culture is into sex.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we just want to turn that narrative upside down and say: \u201cNo! No! We have a view of sex that is far more powerful, and beautiful, and dignified, and glorious than anything you find in the hook-up culture on college campuses.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I had a young engaged couple approach me at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways; it was after our engaged session. The young man said: \u201cWe\u2019re about four months away from our wedding.\u201d He said, \u201cThe guys at work\u2014I\u2019ve told them that we haven\u2019t slept together, and the guys at work are telling me I am crazy to think about marrying somebody that I haven\u2019t had sex with.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said they were saying, \u201cWhat happens if you marry her, and you guys are sexually incompatible?\u201d He said their illustration is, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t buy a car unless you had taken it for a test drive.\u201d He said: \u201cDo I need to worry about being sexually incompatible? What happens if I marry her and we just don\u2019t click, sexually?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore I tell you how I answered it\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I want to just put them in front of Pastor Todd. What would you say to this young man, who\u2019s concerned, \u201cDo I need to try before I buy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I think I would say something to the effect of: \u201cThere is wisdom in God\u2019s ways on this. Human flourishing won\u2019t be found in approaching sex as though it is a consumer good.\u201d And I think I would say something to the effect of\u2014maybe with a little tongue-in-cheek and a chuckle \/ to not put it on too heavy\u2014that: \u201cThat is a <em>total myth<\/em>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cthat two people, reserving themselves until the marriage night\u2014that will be\u2014I know there are exceptions to this\u2014but by and large, that\u2019s fireworks.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Maybe not that night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the fireworks may come a little later. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! Fair enough; fair enough! But this idea of like sexual incompatibility\u2014I just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I agree!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s just a complete myth\u2014it seems to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay I just say one other thing?\u2014is that you just pointed to, Bob, which is casting a vision for people and embodying it ourselves that: \u201cSexual compatibility is a virtue we <em>cultivate<\/em> over a lifetime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I remember reading a book on marriage. I thought it was so powerful, because the person said \u201cYou don\u2019t really know how to have good sex until you are in your 60s!\u201d You\u2019re not at your sexual prime, <em>physically<\/em>; but you might say you are at your psychological, relational prime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> And that\u2019s what counts for good sex. Good sex is not a biological body function, merely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you took it back to a consumer good, you could say this\u2014you could say: \u201cOkay; let me ask you a question: \u2018If you had great sex today; but I could tell you that what that\u2019s going to mean\u2014is that, ten years from now, it\u2019ll be over. You\u2019re not going to have great sex; you\u2019re going to have haunting memories; you\u2019re going to have scars; and it\u2019s going to carry with you for the rest of your life. Would you make the deal and say, \u201cI\u2019ll go ahead and have great sex today if it means that I\u2019m going to have mediocre sex for the rest of my life\u201d?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, if the alternative\u2014and again this is not\u2014there\u2019s not a guarantee here; I don\u2019t want to misrepresent this\u2014but if you say: \u201cYou know, if you wait, and the blessing of God comes with it, you could enjoy marital union for the rest of your life; it just means you have to hold off a little while longer.\u201d There\u2019s something to that that says, \u201cThe blessing of God is not to be minimized in the sexual enjoyment of men and women.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to this couple\u2014I said: \u201cYou are male; right? I\u2019ve got that right?\u201d He said, \u201cYes.\u201d And \u201cYou\u2019re a female,\u201d \/ \u201cYes\u201d; and I said, \u201cYou\u2019re sexually compatible\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> There you go; there you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cokay? I can declare to you, on the basis of biology, you are sexually compatible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I said: \u201cNow, how that\u2019s going to be lived out\u2014that\u2019s going to be expressed over a lifetime. You\u2019ll have good days and bad days, but this is not something you have to worry about\u2014sexual compatibility.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> One of the things that we could do a better job emphasizing is that: \u201cGood sex is an expression of maturity\u2014personal maturity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Again, I want to make sure we\u2019re clear; because I think, sometimes, we have promulgated this myth in the Christian culture that: \u201cIf you wait until you get married to have sex, you will have great sex with no challenges,\u201d and \u201cThe blessing of God is there, and it\u2019ll all be fireworks and roses,\u201d and \u201cIf you are promiscuous prior to marriage, you will never have a good sex life,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s just not a binary equation like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are challenges for every couple in the area of human sexuality. Whether you bring scars in or not, there are going to be issues you\u2019re going to have to work out along the way; but I do think we can say\u2014to the function, within the blessing of God to live according to His standards, carries with it something that you don\u2019t want to trade away for a bowl of porridge; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; yes, know; that\u2019s right. I think, as Christian parents\u2014who want to be careful when we\u2019re trying to motivate our children to chastity and integrity, Lord willing, enroute to marriage\u2014that we don\u2019t talk about sex in a way that is degrading of it, as it were to scare them away from doing it, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to be like all those bad girls, because they don\u2019t have any fun,\u201d and, of course, your sixth-grade daughter is like, \u201cNo; they\u2019re having a lot of fun!\u201d because that stuff seems to be pretty great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have counseled any number of newly-married couples, who the woman grew up in a certain kind of culture, where the parents and church, perhaps, were so strong on: \u201cDon\u2019t have sex before marriage,\u201d \u201cNo sex before marriage,\u201d \u201cNo sex before marriage! That\u2019s bad, bad, bad, bad,\u201d\u2014they came away with the deep impression that sex is bad. They step into marriage\u2014actually, it\u2019s pretty dysfunctional.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; they can\u2019t flip the switch and just go, \u201cOh, it\u2019s really wonderful now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> They can\u2019t flip the switch, so we need to be careful the way we talk about these things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You say there is a missional purpose for marital sex? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes\u2014and for marriage itself. One of the realities that we are confronting, in our post-Christian culture, is just to have a heterosexual, committed, exclusive, monogamous marriage with some children is profoundly counter-cultural. If you do it well, I think [it is] incredibly missional. As the culture is sort of decaying and all of the rest of it\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Christians\u2014all we need to do is just be faithful to the basics, and it\u2019s <em>powerful<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We could be the next round of reality TV shows, where they talk about real couples in first marriages. Everybody tunes in and goes: \u201cLet me see how this works! I\u2019ve never seen anything like this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I think\u2014I think it was the Pope\u2014the Catholic Pope, who said, \u201cIf you stay conservative long enough, you\u2019ll, all of a sudden, become radical.\u201d I think this is the idea and something we can take heart in, which is: \u201cIf we stay conservative enough, not for the sake of conservatism, but for the sake of biblical fidelity, that\u2019ll be radical and cutting edge.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the deal with this\u2014in a culture, where relationships will be increasingly in disarray and people start to see the consequences of it\u2014they will see Christian marriages and they\u2019ll be like: \u201cWhat\u2019s the secret sauce you have?\u2014because you\u2019re still married after 20 years,\u201d \u201c\u202630 years,\u201d \u201c\u202640 years,\u201d \u201c\u202650 years, and you seem happy!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou still hold hands.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cYou still hold hands,\u201d and \u201cIt seems functional, and you\u2019ve got kids that are embodying their sexuality well,\u201d\u2014and all the rest\u2014\u201cWhat is the secret to this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe won\u2019t need to be having placards on street corners and preaching to anybody. It will be so obvious in lives well-lived.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Later on this summer, Barbara and I are going to be going to Southern California to celebrate 70 years of marriage for Al and Margaret Sanders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He was the voice of <em>Insight for Living<\/em> for a number of years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He was; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014formed a radio syndication business, there in Southern California, and made good on a promise to Margaret. Just think of 70\u2014count them: 7-0 years of committed fidelity, love, compassion\u2014not perfection\u2014but just somebody who has gone the distance. Now, that\u2019s worth celebrating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to say to the single person, who is listening to us: \u201cThis is worth it. It\u2019s worth the right choices; and now is the time to decide and to do what\u2019s right\u2014not later\u2014now!\u201d To those who are married: \u201cDon\u2019t give up. Marriage is a commitment; love is a commitment\u2014it\u2019s not a feeling. There are hard times in marriages\u2014plenty of them. You got to make good on your promise, though; there are a lot of people watching.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you want to realign your thinking or make sure your thinking is in line with what the Bible has to say about human sexuality, get a copy of Todd Wilson\u2019s book, <em>Mere Sexuality: Rediscovering the Christian Vision of Sexuality<\/em>. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also call 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk about the book, <em>Mere Sexuality,<\/em> by Todd Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, every time we have a discussion around a subject like this, we hear from listeners who say, \u201cThank you for going where are a lot of people are not inclined to go.\u201d These kinds of conversations\u2014I understand they can be a bit uncomfortable; but in our day, these conversations are being had in the public square and in elementary school classrooms. As husbands and wives and moms and dads, we\u2019ve got to be talking about these things in a way that represents, clearly, God\u2019s design for human sexuality. That\u2019s the reason we tackle tough issues like this and others on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We want to help equip you to think, biblically, about issues you\u2019re facing in your marriage and in your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur mission, here, at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who enable this ministry to expand. Every time you make a gift to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you are making sure that next week, and the weeks to come, this radio program can continue to be heard in more than 1,100 cities across the U.S. and in places all around the world, where people are listening to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>The number of people\u2014who are downloading thisprogram, listening to it online, listening to it as a podcast\u2014those numbers are swelling. You help make all of this possible every time you support this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, if you are able to help with a gift, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a book by Barbara Rainey\u2014a book that she wrote, initially, as thoughts to her daughters and her daughters-in-law on the subject of marriage and motherhood. Now, those private correspondences have been expanded and shared with a wider audience in a book called <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>. That book is our gift to you when you make a donation to support this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate online; our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to donate\u2014the number is 1-800-FLTODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also request Barbara\u2019s book and mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; the zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to hear from Dennis Rainey about how you keep romance alive in a marriage when you are going through hard times. How can you stay close together, as husband and wife? We\u2019ll hear more about that tomorrow. I hope you can tune in and be with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:23"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.15M"],"filesize_raw":["25325096"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300263.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300263.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Todd Wilson, a husband for over 20 years and father to seven, tells how he's raising his children to know what a biblical marriage is like.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-06-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Most people in our culture today don\u2019t think you ought to wait until you are married to become sexually active. In fact, some people think that\u2019s a big mistake. Todd Wilson says we need to recalibrate our understanding of the power of human sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd: <\/strong>Sex can bring into existence an eternal being\u2014that\u2019s <em>incredible<\/em>! That is such a power that we have been given by the grace of God. It <em>requires<\/em> the safe confines of a marital union to steward responsibly that power.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. When it comes to the boundaries for human sexuality, it\u2019s clear that God really does know best. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Todd Wilson. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. One of the challenges you face sometimes, when you are talking about issues of human sexuality, is you can get hyper focused on all of the things that people are doing wrong that you forget that there is a part of this that people are doing right. That needs to be understood and celebrated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does! There are some things though that we are doing wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you remember, when the Supreme Court redefined marriage to include people of the same sex, I wrote a little piece; I took a good bit of time to write it. But I wrote a little piece\u2014not pounding the table, yelling and screaming, uttering inflammatory words\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I remember what you wrote\u2014I remember you saying, \u201cThe decision came down, and it made me sad.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and I grieved! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sent it out to a few of my friends\u2014you know, a couple hundred thousand. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Folks who listened to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, or who had been to our events; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTodd Wilson joins us again on the broadcast. I want to tell you what happened, Todd. After writing this piece, I received the most number of negative emails that I\u2019ve ever received in the history of everything I\u2019d done, up to that point, for FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was people who said: \u201cHow can you be a Christian and hold to those kinds of narrow convictions of what you believe? Take us off the mailing list!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was, again, charges of: \u201cYou are unloving,\u201d \u201cYou lack compassion,\u201d \u201cYou are unkind for holding these rigid views.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can say, in this culture, there are people, who have held rigid views, and have been unkind and lacked compassion; and yet, it\u2019s not the views that lack compassion\u2014it\u2019s the way you handle it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014the view is not rigid. We hold our views, rigidly, I think is the thing. You can hold a very narrow view with a very winsome posture,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014which I think makes a big difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You understand that because you are a pastor of a church in Oak Park, Illinois\u2014that\u2019s in Chicago\u2014Calvary Memorial Church. You and your wife Katie have been married 21 years; you have seven kids\u2014three bios and four adopted from Ethiopia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In the midst of this, you\u2019re raising kids in the most chaotic, confusing, sexual time that I think has ever been to raise a family. How are you teaching your kids what a real marriage is, and what it looks like, and how they can embrace God\u2019s view of sexuality and move forward as young people in this culture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes; great question. The main thing we are trying to do is\u2014just live it well, to be honest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do a little lecturing, if you will. Obviously, we teach them Scripture; we teach them what God\u2019s Word says about these things; and they pick this up in church, in Sunday school classes, and all the rest of it; so they are getting good biblical content and biblical input. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut perhaps the most important thing we are doing is\u2014we are trying to model a healthy marriage, where mom loves dad \/ dad loves mom. We\u2019re not perfect, and we try to own that fact and model a grace-filled marriage for them. It makes it compelling \/ makes it something they would want to aspire to one day, because one of the things is\u2014we\u2019re not getting in the culture\u2014is a vision for \u201cHey! Isn\u2019t marriage a wonderful thing?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you talk about in your book, <em>Mere Sexuality. <\/em>I want to just kind of pull you back, and maybe turn our kitchen table\u2014where we do these broadcasts around\u2014into a coaching of parents to know where in the Bible to turn to give your children just a good crystal clear, simple picture of what biblical marriage looks like. What passage would you turn to? I know where I would turn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to see where you would turn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I would go to three places. I would start at Genesis 1:27, where we are created in the image of God, as male and female\u2014and talk about the importance of sexual complementarity, as men and women\u2014that\u2019s the foundation of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then I would turn a page over to Genesis 2:24, where it talks about the leaving and cleaving passage\u2014and the significance of that and the nature of marriage that\u2019s described there. Then I would go\u2014finish it off\u2014with Ephesians, Chapter 5 and bring Jesus into the conversation\u2014that the mystery of Genesis 1 plus 2 is ultimately Christ\u2014so talk about how male and female, and marriage itself, is a picture in pointing towards the beautiful salvific work that we have in Christ\u2014that Paul talks about in Ephesians 5. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In the context of that\u2014to talk about sexuality and why, by design, God said our expression of our sexuality, as male and female, ought to be confined to a committed monogamous covenantal relationship\u2014if a child says: \u201cSo why is it such a big deal? Why can\u2019t we have sex partners, like we have tennis partners, and just enjoy some recreational sex?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s right\u2014that\u2019s certainly the message they are getting in the culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your 16-year-old may not ask that question; but your 19-year-old is wondering that when somebody says, \u201cDo you want to come back to my room?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And this is where Genesis 2:24 is such an important passage\u2014that: \u201cFor this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEverything related to sexual ethics in the Christian faith emerges out of and flows from the understanding of the one-flesh union\u2014the exclusivity of marriage \/ the permanence of marriage. <em>Everything<\/em>\u2014every sexual deviance is a breakdown of the one-flesh concept, I think. One flesh\u2014I think, biblically\u2014Genesis 2:24\u2014is referring quite literally to our flesh\/our bodies. Talking about becoming one-flesh union is talking about\u2014not just people coming together in marriage to unite their minds, their hearts, or their spirits; of course, that is true\u2014but it\u2019s uniting their bodies, physically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, the one flesh being talked about is even more concrete than bodies. It\u2019s the sexual part of our body, quite literally. When these two separate fleshes come together to perform one single biological function\u2014that, I think, is very concretely\u2014is what the Bible envisions with one flesh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is why marriage has always, historically for Christians, been understood as a union of two people that are opposite sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You picked the passage I would have picked. You cheated because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014used a couple?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014you used three; you used three!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s good biblical theology! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was over here, listening to you\u2014I was going, \u201cHe just masterfully took\u2014he cherry-picked all three of the best ones and wrapped them up in Jesus Christ and the gospel.\u201d You can\u2019t beat what you just did! I love what you did there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m glad you are emphasizing the idea of permanence\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014exclusivity and permanence to one person\u2014leave and cleave. The word, cleave, means to stick like glue. It\u2019s the marriage covenant that takes two strangers and allows them to begin a lifetime to walk together, and can truly become one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; but you know, as well as I do, that the voices in the culture are saying: \u201cExclusivity means you are going to miss out on a whole lot of fun and pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cTo be exclusive with one person and to wait until marriage is restrictive; and it\u2019s puritanical; and it\u2019s just made up by people who are killjoys. If you want to enjoy the robust life, then you need to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014\u201c\u2026go for it\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u2014Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u201cThe hook-up culture is hot; come on!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I would just want to say\u2014this is a little bit sarcastic or flippant\u2014I don\u2019t mean for it to be flippant\u2014but \u201cHow\u2019s that working out for our culture?\u201d I mean, to be blunt: \u201cHow is that working out?\u201d That is a disaster! That is a grand scale social experiment that is a disaster. Do you know who the most impacted by the free-love movement notion are?\u2014those who are <em>most<\/em> impacted by this\u2014are not men\/not women\u2014but children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s who I was thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Children. That\u2019s why we ought to really care about the historic, biblical vision of marriage\u2014the kind you promote at your conferences \/ the kind I am trying to talk about in this book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u2014because children are the most vulnerable and the most impacted by the breakdown of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going out the front of our church, and walking down Lake Street in Oak Park and was getting ready to cross the street. There, across the street, on the other side was a young woman, who had a\u2014like she had just seen a ghost\u2014she just had this distraught look on her face. As I walked across the street, she stayed on her side of the street. By the time I got there, she said, \u201cPastor Todd.\u201d I said, \u201cOh, yes; do I know you?\u201d She says, \u201cYes; I\u2019ve been coming to Calvary for a little while.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d and she began to weep. She had recently moved into town and was working at the fitness club in the area and had a one-night stand and just found out she was pregnant. The weight of that and the devastation of that was just overwhelming to her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSex is too powerful a thing to have it be a recreational activity on college campuses. It\u2019s so <em>powerful<\/em>. Sex can bring into existence an eternal being\u2014that\u2019s <em>incredible!<\/em> That is such a power that we have been given by the grace of God. It <em>requires<\/em> the safe confines of a marital union to <em>steward<\/em> responsibly that power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And let me just say\u2014it\u2019s why young people today need to be hearing conversations like this with their mom and dad\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014within the confines of a committed couple\u2014who don\u2019t have a perfect marriage \/ who are living it out imperfectly in front of their kids\u2014but who aren\u2019t leaving \/ who aren\u2019t going anywhere. Kids today need hope\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014that a marriage can go the distance, but they also need to know to protect the gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The gift of sex is something you just can\u2019t go give indiscriminately to other people. You need to protect it and save it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! That\u2019s right! Genesis 1:20; Genesis 1:27-28: \u201cAnd God blessed them and said, \u2018Be fruitful and multiply.\u2019\u201d There is a <em>blessing<\/em> to sex; it is a <em>beautiful<\/em> thing. Christians need to be at the <em>forefront<\/em> of heralding the beauty of sex. I think we get a bad rap in the culture as: \u201cWe\u2019re not into sex,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re the Puritans; we\u2019re not into sex,\u201d\u2014and all the rest\u2014\u201cThe culture is into sex.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we just want to turn that narrative upside down and say: \u201cNo! No! We have a view of sex that is far more powerful, and beautiful, and dignified, and glorious than anything you find in the hook-up culture on college campuses.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I had a young engaged couple approach me at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways; it was after our engaged session. The young man said: \u201cWe\u2019re about four months away from our wedding.\u201d He said, \u201cThe guys at work\u2014I\u2019ve told them that we haven\u2019t slept together, and the guys at work are telling me I am crazy to think about marrying somebody that I haven\u2019t had sex with.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said they were saying, \u201cWhat happens if you marry her, and you guys are sexually incompatible?\u201d He said their illustration is, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t buy a car unless you had taken it for a test drive.\u201d He said: \u201cDo I need to worry about being sexually incompatible? What happens if I marry her and we just don\u2019t click, sexually?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore I tell you how I answered it\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I want to just put them in front of Pastor Todd. What would you say to this young man, who\u2019s concerned, \u201cDo I need to try before I buy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I think I would say something to the effect of: \u201cThere is wisdom in God\u2019s ways on this. Human flourishing won\u2019t be found in approaching sex as though it is a consumer good.\u201d And I think I would say something to the effect of\u2014maybe with a little tongue-in-cheek and a chuckle \/ to not put it on too heavy\u2014that: \u201cThat is a <em>total myth<\/em>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cthat two people, reserving themselves until the marriage night\u2014that will be\u2014I know there are exceptions to this\u2014but by and large, that\u2019s fireworks.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Maybe not that night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the fireworks may come a little later. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! Fair enough; fair enough! But this idea of like sexual incompatibility\u2014I just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I agree!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s just a complete myth\u2014it seems to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay I just say one other thing?\u2014is that you just pointed to, Bob, which is casting a vision for people and embodying it ourselves that: \u201cSexual compatibility is a virtue we <em>cultivate<\/em> over a lifetime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I remember reading a book on marriage. I thought it was so powerful, because the person said \u201cYou don\u2019t really know how to have good sex until you are in your 60s!\u201d You\u2019re not at your sexual prime, <em>physically<\/em>; but you might say you are at your psychological, relational prime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> And that\u2019s what counts for good sex. Good sex is not a biological body function, merely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you took it back to a consumer good, you could say this\u2014you could say: \u201cOkay; let me ask you a question: \u2018If you had great sex today; but I could tell you that what that\u2019s going to mean\u2014is that, ten years from now, it\u2019ll be over. You\u2019re not going to have great sex; you\u2019re going to have haunting memories; you\u2019re going to have scars; and it\u2019s going to carry with you for the rest of your life. Would you make the deal and say, \u201cI\u2019ll go ahead and have great sex today if it means that I\u2019m going to have mediocre sex for the rest of my life\u201d?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, if the alternative\u2014and again this is not\u2014there\u2019s not a guarantee here; I don\u2019t want to misrepresent this\u2014but if you say: \u201cYou know, if you wait, and the blessing of God comes with it, you could enjoy marital union for the rest of your life; it just means you have to hold off a little while longer.\u201d There\u2019s something to that that says, \u201cThe blessing of God is not to be minimized in the sexual enjoyment of men and women.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to this couple\u2014I said: \u201cYou are male; right? I\u2019ve got that right?\u201d He said, \u201cYes.\u201d And \u201cYou\u2019re a female,\u201d \/ \u201cYes\u201d; and I said, \u201cYou\u2019re sexually compatible\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> There you go; there you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cokay? I can declare to you, on the basis of biology, you are sexually compatible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I said: \u201cNow, how that\u2019s going to be lived out\u2014that\u2019s going to be expressed over a lifetime. You\u2019ll have good days and bad days, but this is not something you have to worry about\u2014sexual compatibility.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> One of the things that we could do a better job emphasizing is that: \u201cGood sex is an expression of maturity\u2014personal maturity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Again, I want to make sure we\u2019re clear; because I think, sometimes, we have promulgated this myth in the Christian culture that: \u201cIf you wait until you get married to have sex, you will have great sex with no challenges,\u201d and \u201cThe blessing of God is there, and it\u2019ll all be fireworks and roses,\u201d and \u201cIf you are promiscuous prior to marriage, you will never have a good sex life,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s just not a binary equation like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are challenges for every couple in the area of human sexuality. Whether you bring scars in or not, there are going to be issues you\u2019re going to have to work out along the way; but I do think we can say\u2014to the function, within the blessing of God to live according to His standards, carries with it something that you don\u2019t want to trade away for a bowl of porridge; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; yes, know; that\u2019s right. I think, as Christian parents\u2014who want to be careful when we\u2019re trying to motivate our children to chastity and integrity, Lord willing, enroute to marriage\u2014that we don\u2019t talk about sex in a way that is degrading of it, as it were to scare them away from doing it, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to be like all those bad girls, because they don\u2019t have any fun,\u201d and, of course, your sixth-grade daughter is like, \u201cNo; they\u2019re having a lot of fun!\u201d because that stuff seems to be pretty great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have counseled any number of newly-married couples, who the woman grew up in a certain kind of culture, where the parents and church, perhaps, were so strong on: \u201cDon\u2019t have sex before marriage,\u201d \u201cNo sex before marriage,\u201d \u201cNo sex before marriage! That\u2019s bad, bad, bad, bad,\u201d\u2014they came away with the deep impression that sex is bad. They step into marriage\u2014actually, it\u2019s pretty dysfunctional.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; they can\u2019t flip the switch and just go, \u201cOh, it\u2019s really wonderful now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> They can\u2019t flip the switch, so we need to be careful the way we talk about these things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You say there is a missional purpose for marital sex? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Yes\u2014and for marriage itself. One of the realities that we are confronting, in our post-Christian culture, is just to have a heterosexual, committed, exclusive, monogamous marriage with some children is profoundly counter-cultural. If you do it well, I think [it is] incredibly missional. As the culture is sort of decaying and all of the rest of it\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Christians\u2014all we need to do is just be faithful to the basics, and it\u2019s <em>powerful<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We could be the next round of reality TV shows, where they talk about real couples in first marriages. Everybody tunes in and goes: \u201cLet me see how this works! I\u2019ve never seen anything like this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> I think\u2014I think it was the Pope\u2014the Catholic Pope, who said, \u201cIf you stay conservative long enough, you\u2019ll, all of a sudden, become radical.\u201d I think this is the idea and something we can take heart in, which is: \u201cIf we stay conservative enough, not for the sake of conservatism, but for the sake of biblical fidelity, that\u2019ll be radical and cutting edge.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the deal with this\u2014in a culture, where relationships will be increasingly in disarray and people start to see the consequences of it\u2014they will see Christian marriages and they\u2019ll be like: \u201cWhat\u2019s the secret sauce you have?\u2014because you\u2019re still married after 20 years,\u201d \u201c\u202630 years,\u201d \u201c\u202640 years,\u201d \u201c\u202650 years, and you seem happy!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cYou still hold hands.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cYou still hold hands,\u201d and \u201cIt seems functional, and you\u2019ve got kids that are embodying their sexuality well,\u201d\u2014and all the rest\u2014\u201cWhat is the secret to this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe won\u2019t need to be having placards on street corners and preaching to anybody. It will be so obvious in lives well-lived.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Later on this summer, Barbara and I are going to be going to Southern California to celebrate 70 years of marriage for Al and Margaret Sanders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He was the voice of <em>Insight for Living<\/em> for a number of years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He was; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014formed a radio syndication business, there in Southern California, and made good on a promise to Margaret. Just think of 70\u2014count them: 7-0 years of committed fidelity, love, compassion\u2014not perfection\u2014but just somebody who has gone the distance. Now, that\u2019s worth celebrating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to say to the single person, who is listening to us: \u201cThis is worth it. It\u2019s worth the right choices; and now is the time to decide and to do what\u2019s right\u2014not later\u2014now!\u201d To those who are married: \u201cDon\u2019t give up. Marriage is a commitment; love is a commitment\u2014it\u2019s not a feeling. There are hard times in marriages\u2014plenty of them. You got to make good on your promise, though; there are a lot of people watching.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you want to realign your thinking or make sure your thinking is in line with what the Bible has to say about human sexuality, get a copy of Todd Wilson\u2019s book, <em>Mere Sexuality: Rediscovering the Christian Vision of Sexuality<\/em>. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also call 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk about the book, <em>Mere Sexuality,<\/em> by Todd Wilson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, every time we have a discussion around a subject like this, we hear from listeners who say, \u201cThank you for going where are a lot of people are not inclined to go.\u201d These kinds of conversations\u2014I understand they can be a bit uncomfortable; but in our day, these conversations are being had in the public square and in elementary school classrooms. As husbands and wives and moms and dads, we\u2019ve got to be talking about these things in a way that represents, clearly, God\u2019s design for human sexuality. That\u2019s the reason we tackle tough issues like this and others on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We want to help equip you to think, biblically, about issues you\u2019re facing in your marriage and in your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur mission, here, at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who enable this ministry to expand. Every time you make a gift to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you are making sure that next week, and the weeks to come, this radio program can continue to be heard in more than 1,100 cities across the U.S. and in places all around the world, where people are listening to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>The number of people\u2014who are downloading thisprogram, listening to it online, listening to it as a podcast\u2014those numbers are swelling. You help make all of this possible every time you support this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, if you are able to help with a gift, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a book by Barbara Rainey\u2014a book that she wrote, initially, as thoughts to her daughters and her daughters-in-law on the subject of marriage and motherhood. Now, those private correspondences have been expanded and shared with a wider audience in a book called <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>. That book is our gift to you when you make a donation to support this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate online; our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to donate\u2014the number is 1-800-FLTODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also request Barbara\u2019s book and mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; the zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to hear from Dennis Rainey about how you keep romance alive in a marriage when you are going through hard times. How can you stay close together, as husband and wife? We\u2019ll hear more about that tomorrow. I hope you can tune in and be with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300263"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300263"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300263"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300263"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}