{"id":300243,"date":"2018-05-16T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-16T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/my-spouse-my-partner\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:25","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:25","slug":"my-spouse-my-partner","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/my-spouse-my-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"My Spouse, My Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you think of your spouse as a business partner? Kevin Thompson believes husbands and wives are more than partners in marriage. Being partners is about how we can make our dreams come true together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-16.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:18","filesize":"25.91M","filesize_raw":"27167857","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2810],"tags":[4391,4389,4388,4390],"podcast_series":[7214],"cwp_profile":[8832],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300243","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-growing-spiritually","tag-building-into-your-marriage","tag-friendship","tag-relationships","tag-trust","podcast_series-friends-partners-and-lovers","cwp_profile-kevin-thompson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300243\/my-spouse-my-partner","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300243\/my-spouse-my-partner","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"spM5DfDRoC\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/my-spouse-my-partner\/\">My Spouse, My Partner<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/my-spouse-my-partner\/embed\/#?secret=spM5DfDRoC\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;My Spouse, My Partner&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"spM5DfDRoC\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Do you think of your spouse as a business partner? Kevin Thompson believes husbands and wives are more than partners in marriage. Being partners is about how we can make our dreams come true together.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When was the last time you got some input from your spouse that caused you to change your mind about something? Kevin Thompson says that\u2019s a part of what goes on in a healthy marriage\u2014the two of us are partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Men tend to struggle. They disrespect their wives, or their wives don\u2019t <em>feel<\/em> respected. Here is a great question I would have for any men listening \/ women as well: \u201cDoes your spouse\u2019s voice influence you? Can it change your mind? Can it change your opinion? Can it keep you from doing something that you want to do, or cause you to do something that you may be hesitant on?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, May 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Respecting one another, valuing one another, honoring one another\u2014these are biblical commands for husbands and wives in a marriage relationship. It\u2019s what being partners looks like. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019ll never forget a pastor we talked to on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014this was in the first few years we were on the air\u2014he\u2019s a well-known pastor. I\u2019ll out him, because he shared this story himself\u2014it was Chuck Swindoll. Do you remember this story? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChuck Swindoll was speaking to a group of people in a local church in the first few years of his marriage\u2014he said, \u201cI want to introduce to you my partner in ministry, my wife Cynthia. Would you stand up?\u201d Cynthia stood up. Everybody clapped for her. On the way home, Cynthia said to him: \u201cNever refer to me as your partner in ministry again, because I\u2019m not. You\u2019re doing it on your own. You\u2019re off here; I\u2019m out of the picture, so don\u2019t call me something that\u2019s not true in our marriage.\u201d That was a wake-up call for Chuck Swindoll\u2014to say, \u201cThere\u2019s a difference between somebody who tags along for the ride and somebody who is really a partner with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I recall, Bob, she told him that at the dinner table. I think he had lost his appetite. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think the meal got cold real quick. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think Chuck <em>heard<\/em> her plea for making her a partner in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I thought where you were going with that story was\u2014Dr. Bill Bright and his wife Vonette, founders of Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, who\u2014one of the first interviews we did, here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> was with Bill and Vonette\u2014it was called \u201cPartners for Life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, there\u2019s a reason why we\u2019re talking about this theme of being partners. We have with us, for second day, Kevin Thompson. Kevin, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Thanks so much\u2014great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s written a book called <em>Friends, Partners &amp; Lovers<\/em>. We\u2019ll get to lovers at a later moment, but we want to talk about this theme of partners. You\u2019re a pastor; you\u2019re a blogger; you\u2019re in touch with people at a lot of different levels of need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s just back up and define the word, \u201cpartner,\u201d because I think there are probably some listeners who\u2019ve never really thought, \u201cWhat is a partner?\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s the definition?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> To me, a partner would be somebody that has equal desire for success and, generally, with different strengths; so they are fully invested in what\u2019s going on. Think about it\u2014if you\u2019re going to start a business, then, you\u2019re going to want to find a partner that cares about the outcome just as much as you do \/ that\u2019s going to be willing to put in just as many hours. If it\u2019s a 50-50 partnership, then, they have to be willing to care and to work as hard as you do; but chances are you want them to have strengths that you simply don\u2019t have. If you\u2019re a real big people-person, maybe, you want to have a partner that is better behind the scenes. If you are better at details, maybe, you want a big-picture kind of person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, a partnership in marriage is somebody who cares just as much about this relationship\u2014about my life \/ about who we are\u2014is equally invested \/ will do an equal amount of work but probably will work in a different way than the way I work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you a mistake I made this morning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made the mistake of pushing the \u201csend\u201d button on an email without first sending the email to Barbara and letting her proof it. What the email was about\u2014it was about a board that we\u2019re both on together. She had some thoughts about what we were going to talk about in this board meeting. I should have sent it to her; but because of a matter she was facing, I thought, \u201cI\u2019ll just go ahead and handle it.\u201d Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve made that mistake before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay. So, right before walking into the studio, I get an email. Barbara says, \u201cWould you please make the corrections to the email that you sent out? I\u2019ve added a few thoughts here.\u201d And it\u2019s to your point\u2014she sees things through a different set of lenses than I do; and it\u2019s not that one is right and the other is wrong\u2014it\u2019s not that way at all. It is\u2014it\u2019s using the strengths of your partner. A lot of times we\u2019ve\u2014I think we\u2019ve forgotten what our partner\u2019s strength is in marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> No; I think that\u2019s absolutely right. The beauty of it\u2014think about this\u2014in a healthy relationship, you\u2019re going to value differences; you\u2019re going to long for them; you\u2019re going to need them. The differences \/ the diversity within your relationship is actually where the strength is going to occur; but in an unhealthy relationship, the differences do nothing but irritate\u2014we see that as almost an attack on who we are, as people\/individuals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn my opinion, in a healthy partnership\u2014because of a healthy partnership\u2014my strengths are multiplied, and my weaknesses are divided. You think about it\u2014so Jenny has my back\u2014she sees me and understands me in ways that nobody else does. She knows my strengths. She wants to mesh my strengths with her strengths and have a multiplying effect on what I can accomplish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis book\/my blog\u2014these kinds of things are done, in part, because of Jenny. Jenny said, \u201cWhat is one of your dreams?\u201d \u201cWell, one of my dreams is to write. I want to write a book.\u201d Then, she got to a point: \u201cHow are we going to make that happen? How are <em>we<\/em> going to make that happen?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she began to make sacrifices of what that would look like: \u201cWe have small children: When are you going to have time to write?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou pastor a church,\u201d\u2014she runs a family \/ she runs a business\u2014\u201cAlright, the time to write is 10 to 12 every night\u201410 to 12. How can we make that happen? We\u2019re going to make that happen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has this great mind and understanding of editing things. My grammar is horrible; my spelling is horrible; right? So, I would write out the ideas. She would, then, edit them properly. She would have ideas about them\u2014she would put graphics to them. Then, the blog began to take off, which led into the book. Those are her strengths and my strengths. She was able to multiply my strengths; but then, she divides my weaknesses because there are things that I am just not good at all. Yet, because that\u2019s a strength of hers, it really compensates for my weaknesses. I don\u2019t feel the negative consequences of my weaknesses nearly as much, because of her presence in my life. When a partnership is healthy, literally, your strengths are multiplied and your weaknesses are divided. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Kevin, there are some people, listening, who are going: \u201cWe don\u2019t have any mutual projects in our marriage. I mean, I\u2019ve got my hobbies and the things I like to do and my work \/ my wife has the same thing, so there\u2019s not a lot of opportunity for partnership.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when you peel back a marriage and a family, there\u2019s some partnership that\u2019s built in to the fact that our relationship\u2014we\u2019re going to be partners together in what this looks like\u2014and as we raise the next generation, we\u2019ve got to be on the same page with that; don\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> There\u2019s no question. You\u2019re partners in multiple areas. I think one of the great mistakes couples make is\u2014they never look at their marriage as its own unique institution. I think the negative impact of that is\u2014because we can\u2019t see our marriage as its own individual entity, we are, then, not able to properly define it, discern it, figure out profit and loss to it: \u201cWhat direction is it headed?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you\u2019re right\u2014I think anybody that says: \u201cYou know what? We don\u2019t have any mutual projects,\u201d\u2014they are missing the point. Their marriage is a mutual project. Every marriage is a partnership. The question is not: \u201c\u2026if it\u2019s a partnership? \/ the question is: \u201cHow good is the partnership?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara and I\u2014we\u2019re both very hard workers\u2014and we\u2019ve been partnering together to write a book too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWriting a book\u2014you know this\u2014it is <em>hard<\/em>, <em>hard<\/em> work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLast night, we were taking a walk, back to this concept of friendship. While on that walk, I said: \u201cYou know, we just need to go have some fun. I mean, we have been working long days \/ hard days\u201d; and we both agreed. I told her\u2014and this will give you an idea of our marriage here\u2014I said: \u201cI think I\u2019m just going to surprise you. I\u2019m just going to surprise you and have the bags packed and ready to go.\u201d Well, Bob\u2019s heard some of these stories, here, that I\u2019ve told about doing this for Barbara. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She did not feel safe in that moment\u2014trust me. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, I said, \u201cWhat do you think about that?\u201d She said, \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019d be a good idea.\u201d [Laughter] She said, \u201cMaybe, give me three choices.\u201d So, it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay.\u201d So, here\u2019s\u2014it\u2019s not going to be a big deal\u2014but it\u2019s going to be something fun and playful, where we can just get out and refresh the friendship, which is what we talked about earlier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou find that same thing true as well; you talk about it in your book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s vitally important. I think this idea of playfulness is a great barometer of where the relationship is. You think about it\u2014when the weight and the pressure of life gets down upon you\u2014and you\u2019re raising kids, and you\u2019re running businesses \/ you\u2019re doing all these things\u2014every now and then, you just need to check out and have fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou think about\u2014what, so often, defines friendship is playfulness. My guess is most people can go back to their first grade class; and they might have, at least, one friend that, maybe, has endured from elementary school. Well, what made you all friends? What made you friends was you were forced to sit close to each other for eight hours a day in what you thought was a horrific experience. Yet, you found a way to endure it together. Generally, the way you did was you had fun together\u2014you made eyes; you made notes; you got in trouble together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn some way, life can be very difficult; it can be very hard. The partnership of life can be difficult\u2014friendship\/playfulness allows you to endure that in many ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, just as trust is so important for friendship, for me\u2014on this concept of partnership\u2014the issue is respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to go to that; because one of the things you say is: \u201cYou didn\u2019t marry a child; you married a partner.\u201d A lot of people get into marriage, and the loss of respect causes them to diminish this sense of partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Yes; I think, when a partnership goes wrong, the relationship devolves into a parent\/child relationship. Now, whether or not it is actually that, I don\u2019t know\u2014but, at least, one of the partners is taking on the responsibility of a parent; and one of them is beginning to act like or feel like they\u2019re being treated like a child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn a healthy partnership, it\u2019s two equals working in different ways\u2014but two equals. In an unhealthy relationship, one of them is taking on too much responsibility; the other one is slacking off in some ways. Some of these parent\/child relationships are just situational\u2014it\u2019s just in certain areas\u2014but I\u2019ve seen them become chronic. When there is a chronic parent\/child relationship, that marriage is suffering dramatically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Jesus, I think, has some words for us here; because, if you want to have that partnership, it\u2019s going to demand self-denial. Jesus said in John 15, verse 12 and 13\u2014He said: \u201cThis is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this that someone lays down his life for his friends.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you truly want a partner for life, you\u2019ve got to take your hands off the scales\u2014and see who is giving the most and who is giving the least\u2014and figure out how you can give, and how you can invest, and how you can deny yourself and say to your bride or say to your husband: \u201cI love you. I\u2019m committed to you, and I\u2019m on your team. I want to do \u2018X,\u2019 \u2018Y,\u2019 and \u2018Z\u2019 with you.\u201d In my case: \u201cLet\u2019s go have some fun together; okay?\u201d The point is\u2014find a way to deny yourself on behalf of your spouse and invest in that marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> When you think about the passage that Jesus is talking about there, what is the most direct application of that passage?\u2014love one another. What we tend to do with those passages\u2014we think, \u201cAlright; how can we be obedient with that without really changing or demanding much from us?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think to myself: \u201cAlright; I\u2019ve got to love people \/ I need to love guys the best I can today. I need to love the convenience store worker. I need to love the cashier. If I do that, then, alright, I\u2019m being obedient.\u201d But let\u2019s face it\u2014it\u2019s not going to take much for me to love you guys today. I\u2019m not going to see you for very long. The convenience store worker\u2014I can fake it for five minutes\u2014I really can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the direct application of that text, first and foremost\u2014it applies to everybody, no doubt\u2014but it is literally: \u201cDisciples, you love each other when you\u2014as you\u2019re walking along the road, as you\u2019re starting to build this church, as you\u2019re doing all these things\u2014the first application is for <em>you<\/em> guys to get along; then, it will ripple out.\u201d The first application for us, within marriage, for that verse, for me, is: \u201cKevin, you love Jenny. Lay down your life for her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, we\u2019ve been talking about partnership here, Kevin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPartnership can sound a little dry, stale, [and] a little too businesslike\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014corporate; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; a partnership-like marriage really has got some benefits as you look forward; doesn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Oh, there\u2019s no question. Whenever I\u2019m talking to young couples\u2014they are about to get married\u2014they are all excited. Obviously, they\u2019re already friends. They\u2019re excited about the intimacy that\u2019s going to happen. I talk about the importance of this middle role\u2014this idea of partnership as the walls of the marriage\u2014and their eyes glaze over, and they think this is the most ridiculous thing ever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut to me, partnership has defined Jenny and me in our 30s. I\u2019m now 40, but the 30s were defined by partnership. During that season, I started writing the blog; I started writing a book; she started her own business\u2014and how exciting it was to be engaged in that\u2014because it really came down to this idea of: \u201cHow can we make our dreams come true?\u201d That\u2019s what partnership is to me: \u201cWhat kind of life are you going to create together?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd to know that you always have somebody who has your back, who is watching out for you, who is there for you, who is cheering you on, who is going to take part of the load \/ part of the work that is there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the idea of, when life is stressful, or heavy, or you don\u2019t feel well, she\u2019s going to step in and, maybe, do a little extra with the kids or do a little bit extra with the house. When she\u2019s busy\u2014when her business is growing and blowing up\u2014I\u2019m going to step in and try to do more in that moment\u2014to know that you are not alone in the midst of this process. Partnership sounds cold; but it really comes down to: \u201cHow can I make her dreams come true?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talked earlier about both couples being equally committed to the marriage and to the partnership, and you talked about it in terms of a 50-50 commitment. There\u2019s a danger to thinking about marriage as a 50-50 relationship\u2014this is one of the things we talk about at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway\u2014because you can start measuring the other person\u2019s commitment and go: \u201cI think I may be 52, and you\u2019re 48. I\u2019ve got some chips on you for that.\u201d We\u2019re really talking about being all in\u2014both of us\u2014aren\u2019t we? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Absolutely; it\u2019s 100 percent for both partners. There\u2019s absolutely no question. Here\u2019s the thing\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if you don\u2019t feel a little bit like, maybe, you generally give more than your spouse, then chances are you are giving far less. It needs to, at least, probably <em>feel<\/em> that way to some extent in order for the relationship to work. Again, I think it comes back down to the issue, in partnership, of respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Here\u2019s where I see a great problem\u2014specifically for men. Men tend to struggle, and they disrespect their wives; or their wives don\u2019t feel respected. So, here\u2019s a great question I would have for many men listening \/women as well: \u201cDoes your spouse\u2019s voice influence you? Can it change your mind? Can it change your opinion? Can it keep you from doing something that you want to do, or cause you to do something that you may be hesitant on?\u201d If the answer is \u201cNo,\u201d the issue is respect\u2014you don\u2019t respect that person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJenny\u2014literally, if she tells me not to do something, I\u2019m going to back up; because she loves me. She loves me more than I love myself half the time. She knows me\u2014she knows my dangers \/ my weaknesses. If she really says here, \u201cNo; you shouldn\u2019t do this,\u201d I believe her. Why?\u2014because I respect her. Her brain is bright; her intentions are right; and she loves me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen respect is not present, the partnership begins to erode. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think another good question would be for the guys to ask their wife: \u201cWhen you speak, do you feel like I listen to you? Do you feel like I value what you say?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I\u2019ve talked about, for a number of years, is: \u201cMarriage is like a bicycle built for two\u201d\u2014speaking of horizons and partnerships. In Ephesians, Chapter 2, verse 10, it talks about us being \u201c\u2026His workmanship, created\u2026for good works, which He prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.\u201d I think every couple ought to have something in their lives that they do together\u2014some vision \/ some portion of the horizon\u2014where they are pedaling that bike together at the same speed in the same direction; and sharing the benefits and the challenges and the struggles together; but sharing in the exhilaration\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in this case, of being used by God; because when God says, \u201cHe\u2019s got works for us to do,\u201d these are genuine spiritual and eternal works that married couples can be a part of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> Oh, there\u2019s no question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen my grandparents finally both died; right?\u2014married 70 years\u2014on my mom\u2019s side of the family\u2014there are three granddaughters and me. I\u2019m the only grandson. My mamaw had all this jewelry, and the jewelry was being divvied up to all the granddaughters. My mom comes to me and says, \u201cKevin, what is it that you want?\u201d because there really wasn\u2019t any lasting legacy piece for me to hang on to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI immediately knew what I wanted\u2014I said: \u201cI want the marriage rings \/ I want the wedding rings\u201d; because, to me, that is a lasting legacy of their love. It\u2019s a lesson for me that I come from this legacy of love. They couldn\u2019t have had it all perfect all the time. They were born in the midst of the Depression. He was overseas for a war. They had to struggle in so many ways. Yet, they found a way to make it; they were building a legacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd today, when Jenny and I struggle, or when my kids are going through a difficult time, I can remind them that we come from a committed legacy of love. That is a strong partnership that is still paying dividends to this day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting, Kevin\u2014you go to that illustration of those two rings that you hold those in your hands\u2014right?\u2014when you do weddings today? You skip over a generation, because you came from a family that got a divorce. You\u2019ve decided to leave a different legacy; you\u2019ve decided to leave the legacy that your grandparents gave you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin: <\/strong>Absolutely. That\u2019s not to put any fault or blame to my parents. They did the best that they possibly could; but I had this example in marriage through my mom\u2019s parents \/ through my mamaw and papaw. That\u2019s who the book is dedicated to, apart from my wife, and that\u2019s the generation I look to. I cannot think of them apart\u2014they\u2019re not individual people to me. I know they are to God, but they weren\u2019t to me. They were inseparable\u2014Mamaw and Papaw. Mamaw was the toughest person I ever met, and Papaw was the most tender person I ever met. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re the legacy for me and Jenny that I look to, in saying, \u201cThat\u2019s who we want to be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that legacy\u2014at the end of the day, all of us are going to leave a legacy. I think, for a husband and a wife to say, \u201cHow are we doing in the corporate legacy we\u2019ll leave?\u2014not just our individual legacies \/ how I\u2019ll be remembered\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good point, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut how <em>we\u2019ll <\/em>be remembered?\u201d\u2014because we will be remembered as one\u2014\u201cand how are we doing in that legacy? Is our relationship something that we\u2019re investing in, and do we feel like it\u2019s strong? How are we doing in training the kids? How are we doing in our relationships with them? If they are adult kids, how are we doing at continuing to pour into and investing in them? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow are we doing in the spiritual multiplication \/ the Great Commission that God\u2019s called us to so that it\u2019s not just: \u2018What I\u2019m doing in that,\u2019 \/ \u2018What you\u2019re doing in that,\u201d but \u2018What are we doing in that together?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are just, again, some gauges we can look at and say, \u201cIs there an area that we need to step it up or an area where we need to tinker a little bit?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to speak to that for a moment, Bob, because I\u2019ve thought about it three times in this conversation. If a couple is looking for a way to link arms together and be a part of God\u2019s work in the Great Commission, FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has created a resource that\u2019s been out now for six or seven years called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. It\u2019s been seen by over 800,000 people, and I don\u2019t know how many languages\u2014a half a dozen?\u2014it\u2019s been translated. It\u2019s being used by couples who want to link arms together, look to the horizon\u2014Kevin, like you\u2019re talking about\u2014and say: \u201cYou know what? Together, we can make a difference.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>This culture of divorce that we inherited from the \u201860s, \u201870s, and \u201880s, I believe, needs to be turned around by another generation that says\u2014like Kevin and his wife did: \u201cWe\u2019re going to make a difference in marriages and families. We\u2019re going to invest in them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, either in a small group or in an event, is set up to make you a winner and make an impact on other couples in your community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ve had some <em>great<\/em> feedback from people who have used <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> in a small group setting or those who have had a weekend retreat and have used the expanded <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> content as a church event. This series features contributions from a great lineup of speakers and authors\u2014communicators\u2014who help provide the biblical foundation for what makes a marriage strong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information. We also have copies of Kevin Thompson\u2019s book, <em>Friends, Partners &amp; Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work<\/em>. That book is in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order copies from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, if you want information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, or if you want a copy of Kevin\u2019s book, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, if you are a regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, there is probably somebody you ought to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to\u2014and that would be the FamilyLife Legacy Partners, who are listening, who have made today\u2019s program possible so that you can listen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know that it\u2019s about 90 to 95 percent of the folks, who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014even regular listeners\u2014have never donated to support the ministry. That means that the small group of 5 to 10 percent of you\u2014who are not only regular listeners, but also Legacy Partners or regular donors\u2014you are the ones who have made today\u2019s program possible so that tens of thousands of people, all around the world, can be affected by practical biblical help and hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the month of May, we\u2019re praying that God would lay it on the hearts of 300 families, or couples, or singles who would be willing to join us and be a part of the team that makes <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible for others. That\u2019s what you do when you become a Legacy Partner\u2014a monthly donor to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. When you do that, this month, two things are going to happen. First, every donation you make between now and this time next year is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $500,000; we\u2019re very excited about that. We\u2019ve already started hearing from listeners, who say: \u201cI\u2019ll be a Legacy Partner. I want to see my donations doubled.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition, when you sign on as a new Legacy Partner, we\u2019ll send you a certificate that you can use for yourself or pass on to someone else\u2014a certificate that\u2019s good for registration at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway this spring or next fall. It\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThank you for being part of the team and helping us reach more people more often with <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, sign up to be a Legacy Partner when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about how friends and partners in marriage can become better lovers. Kevin Thompson will be with us tomorrow. I hope you can be back with us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300243"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300243"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300243"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300243"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}