{"id":300231,"date":"2018-05-08T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-08T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/out-of-the-dark\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:24","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:24","slug":"out-of-the-dark","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/out-of-the-dark\/","title":{"rendered":"Out of the Dark"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Nancy Houston | Series: Love and Sex | Nancy Houston, author of the book, &#8220;Love and Sex,&#8221; talks about the dangerous addiction of pornography. Houston explains that God created sex to be a bonding experience between a husband and wife. When a person watches porn, he\/she gets a rush of dopamine, which makes it addictive. It also damages the relationship center of the brain, called the prefrontal cortex. &#8220;Porn is often used to medicate pain,&#8221; Houston says, &#8220;But there are deeper issues that usually need healing.&#8221; A necessary first step to recovery is to bring our addiction out of the dark and into the light.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nancy Houston talks about the dangerous addiction of pornography. &#8220;Porn is often used to medicate pain,&#8221; Houston says, &#8220;But there are deeper issues that usually need healing.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-08.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:53","filesize":"25.53M","filesize_raw":"26771855","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2844,2088],"tags":[4376,2989,2991,4372],"podcast_series":[7212],"cwp_profile":[3384],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300231","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pornography","category-romance-and-sex","tag-healing-from-sexual-addiction","tag-pornography","tag-sex","tag-sex-therapist","podcast_series-love-and-sex","cwp_profile-nancy-houston","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300231\/out-of-the-dark","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300231\/out-of-the-dark","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"N1YgZLjhHk\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/out-of-the-dark\/\">Out of the Dark<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/out-of-the-dark\/embed\/#?secret=N1YgZLjhHk\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Out of the Dark&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"N1YgZLjhHk\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-08.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-08.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Nancy Houston says that healthy intimacy in marriage begins\u2014not when couples are together in the bedroom\u2014it\u2019s when they are practicing sacrificial love for one another throughout the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> <a id=\"_Hlk512505159\">I think so many times we think married sex should look something like the movies<\/a><a id=\"_Hlk511911112\">\u2014you know, where it\u2019s just instantaneous and everybody\u2019s in the mood. I think really great married sex requires a lot of discipline in it and\u2014like, \u201cNo; this is who I\u2019m going to choose to be,\u201d and like Proverbs talks about\u2014you know, she\u2019s generous to her husband. I always think about, \u201cShe\u2019s probably a generous lover to him; and hopefully, he\u2019s a generous lover to her; and he\u2019s thoughtful and kind.\u201d If he\u2019s not, then she\u2019s saying, \u201cHey, we need to talk about this.\u201d<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIntimacy in marriage is one of God\u2019s <em>good<\/em> gifts to couples. But a lot of couples aren\u2019t experiencing its full <em>goodness<\/em>. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There are any number of things that can cause a husband and wife to want to put an end to a marriage relationship. I think, maybe more than anything else in our culture today, it\u2019s the presence of some kind of sexual sin\u2014whether it\u2019s an affair, or pornography, or something that\u2019s gone on in a relationship where the sexual part of the relationship is broken. That may be, as much as anything, a leading indicator for why so many people are saying, \u201cThis marriage is done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know Bob, I think people bring all kinds of issues into a marriage relationship. Barbara and I went to a training course led by Dr. Dan Allender a number of years ago. In that training course about sexual abuse, he made this statement\u2014he said, \u201cSexual abuse is the hardest stone the devil of hell ever throws at a human being.\u201d All the #MeToo\u2014all of the things coming out about pornography \/ around extramarital affairs\u2014are pointing us to a culture that is in desperate need of finding hope in the midst of their pain and their trauma. I\u2019m pleased we can have this broadcast\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and offer counsel like Nancy Houston is offering folks in her book called <em>Love and Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNancy, that\u2019s what people are looking for today\u2014is healthy intimacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Yes; and oftentimes, we just want to get to that part without doing the hard work. Honestly, if we want healthy intimacy, most of us have to do, at least, some hard work and some of us have to do <em>a lot<\/em> of hard work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re a sex therapist. You have a lot of groups of men \/ of women who get together. I kind of\u2014as I read your book, I kind of pushed back and I went, \u201cThis has to be really fascinating\u2014to get a room full of men talking about how pornography found them or they found pornography as boys.\u201d Have you found this to be at an epidemic level in our culture today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Oh, it is absolutely out of control and the most dangerous addiction that we are dealing with. It is a <em>powerful<\/em> drug. You know, we have to remember that God created human sexuality to be a very bonding experience between a husband and a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen they start releasing all these feel-good hormones; and they\u2019re <em>powerful<\/em>. They\u2019re meant to bond a couple\u2014a husband and a wife\u2014for a life together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, when pornography does something similar but different\u2014it bonds you to these images. That\u2019s why it becomes <em>so<\/em> addictive. Every time a person watches porn, they\u2019re hitting that dopamine reward center in their brain; and they get a rush of dopamine\u2014that\u2019s what they get really addicted to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople also don\u2019t understand that pornography actually damages the prefrontal cortex\u2014it damages the relationship center of the brain. I get couples, who come into my office\u2014and like, \u201cYes; we don\u2019t have sex,\u201d or the wife is like: \u201cI hate sex,\u201d or \u201cHe never wants to make love to me anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just\u2014I\u2019m kind of like an explorer\u2014I get to start like, \u201cOkay; well tell me, \u2018How did sex start for you?\u2019\u201d I cannot tell you the men who say to me, \u201cWell, I was exposed to porn at eight.\u201d For some, they can be exposed and they are kind of like, \u201cAw, that\u2019s not for me.\u201d But for some, where maybe some of their needs are not being met in a home, then sex becomes sort of like a form of being nurtured or something. Pornography\u2014it looks like \u201cOh, these beautiful women on the other side of the screen\u2014they want me.\u201d There\u2019s usually some things in their lives that are not going well, and so they start using porn as a way to medicate pain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think sometimes in the church, we\u2019re like really heavy on: \u201cYou need to repent if you\u2019re looking at porn,\u201d or \u201c\u2026going to strip clubs,\u201d or you know \u201c\u2026having an affair.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, sure; <em>but<\/em> there\u2019s deeper issues that need <em>healing<\/em>\u2014that need the healing of Jesus\u2014and need to put safe people around them so they can experience being able to tell their story to safe people, who will sit with them, and weep with them, and be present with them and say: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry! You should have never been sexually abused by that older neighborhood boy,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m so sorry that your father wasn\u2019t there for you,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m so sorry that your mother could go into rages and neglect you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we just need to make it safe for people to tell their stories\u2014to realize: \u201cYou\u2019re not all alone.\u201d We can feel so alone and so shameful\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m the only one.\u201d People just hide and keep acting out. Statistically, they say that probably up to\u2014maybe even up as high as 70 percent of the men in our pews are addicted to porn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the thing is\u2014it has to escalate. Every drug has to escalate; right?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like people who can maybe get a little buzz with a couple of glasses of wine\u2014eventually, it escalates into four, or five, or six. You know, there\u2019s always this escalation. Oftentimes, somebody will start with some porn; then it will escalate. Before you know it, they\u2019re maybe having an affair, or they\u2019re looking at types of porn they <em>never<\/em> thought they would look at, or they\u2019re going to strip clubs, or they\u2019re acting out in some way that <em>they<\/em> thought they would <em>never<\/em> be capable of doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the truth is\u2014we\u2019re all capable of everything\u2014I mean, we have to remember that. We\u2019re all capable of everything; you know: \u201cBut by the grace of God, there go I\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I think we just have to start digging into the soil of people\u2019s lives and saying, \u201cWhat got put into your soil?\u201d and \u201cHow can we now start putting in some grace, and truth, and love, and compassion and walk you through this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was over \u201cMarriage Crises\u201d when I was on staff at a church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just, statistically, started seeing what\u2019s walking through my door\u2014tons of porn addiction, affairs, some Christian couples who are into swinging\u2014I mean, all kinds of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I just thought: \u201cOkay; well, let\u2019s start meeting the needs. Let\u2019s be practical. This is a reality. Let\u2019s not pretend it\u2019s not happening. Let\u2019s <em>provide<\/em> some ways for them to heal.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, these couples\u2014I had this great woman, who she and her husband had been through this\u2014so mostly they ran this program. They would take them through this 14-week process, where people started telling their stories. Whoever had the affair would start getting honest \/ getting real; but we would give them a lot of support like, \u201cYou\u2019re not alone in this.\u201d We would just walk them through this healing journey. Then, honestly, like about 75 percent of those couples became some of our strongest marriage volunteers; because they had done the hard work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s important\u2014you said \u201cYes; there needs to be repentance \/ a change of behavior,\u201d\u2014but that word [repentance] really means \u201ca change of mind\u201d \/ \u201ca change of heart.\u201d We can scold and shame people, and modify their behavior; but we haven\u2019t touched the heart if that\u2019s all we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I hear you saying, in the midst of this, is \u201cWe\u2019ve got to do the hard work of digging through the soil, and getting to the roots of these, and saying, \u2018This is what\u2019s driving, at some level, looking at porn,\u201d or \u201c\u2026having an affair,\u201d or \u201c\u2026these other things.\u201d These are symptoms of something that is buried deep that needs to be explored; and the Scriptures need to be brought to bear on the root issues, not just on the behavior issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Nancy, what I hear you saying that you do is\u2014you bring it out of the dark and out of the secret into the light.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And there\u2019s a lot of things in our lives\u2014as long as they\u2019re dormant and they\u2019re kept quiet, we don\u2019t admit them\u2014there can\u2019t be the kind of repentance of the heart like Bob\u2019s talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s as a group of people get together\u2014in a recovery group\u2014and they start telling their story, and other people are hearing your story, and you\u2019re hearing their story of how they were impacted by their sin \/ the ugliness of this\u2014I think is part of the healing of people repenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I do too. It\u2019s such a sweet way of repentance taking place; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love what you just said; because, even for my healing journey\u2014you know, I\u2019ve been taught not to talk: \u201cDon\u2019t talk, and don\u2019t feel.\u201d Here I am, going on this journey, going, \u201cI\u2019m going to have to feel, and I\u2019m going to have to talk.\u201d I kept thinking of that Scripture that says, \u201cThe truth will set you free.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I just clung to that\u2014like: \u201cOkay; truth is going to set me free. I\u2019ve got to bring the dark into the light. That\u2019s the only way for me to know the truth.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to know the truth, but I had to know the truth to heal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just reading some Scripture\u2014I can\u2019t remember where it was; forgive me for that\u2014but that said, basically, when we come to Jesus, it\u2019s a total surrender. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe lay down our father, mother, our spouse, our children, and our own lives; but we have to pick up our cross. For me, my cross included this history of abuse\u2014I\u2019m like: \u201cYou know, if I\u2019m going to grow myself up and become the adult I want to become, I\u2019m going to have to deal with all this stuff. But Jesus is going to be there in it with me, and for me, and along with me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the most beautiful thing about going on a sexual-healing journey is\u2014for me, anyway\u2014I discovered who God was. I remember, in this process, being able to say to God: \u201cI\u2019m so angry with You God,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWhere were You? Why didn\u2019t You protect me?\u201d He didn\u2019t get angry with me. It\u2019s not just a sexual-healing journey. I think our spirituality and our sexuality are <em>so <\/em>deeply tied; because our sexuality is such at the core of who we are, as God\u2019s creatures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all sexual creatures by God\u2019s design. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not a glitch in our engineering, even though some may feel that way. That\u2019s why I would challenge every one of our listeners\u2014like: \u201cIf you have sexual history and baggage in your life\u201d\u2014which most people do\u2014\u201cplease bring it in to community, and connection, and fellowship\u2014but with safe people\u2014not somebody who\u2019s going to say to you: \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have done that,\u201d \u201cYou need to get over that,\u201d \u201cYou need to stop that behavior,\u201d\u2014but where you\u2019re getting with safe people, who will love you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes; you\u2019re taking full ownership for your behaviors; right?\u2014because you have to own yourself; right?\u2014nobody is going to own that for you. Yes; we have to recognize that part of my healing was to go: \u201cOh, I was victimized; but I\u2019m not going to live as a victim. I\u2019m going to live as an overcomer. I\u2019m not going to live this way!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that can lead a person to healing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking of our listening audience right now. I\u2019m thinking of two groups of people. I really hate to turn away from where we are exactly, but there\u2019s two groups that are wanting you to speak to them right now\u2014I\u2019m convinced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne is a group of husbands and wives, who ask, \u201cHow can I affair-proof my marriage?\u201d And another group of people\u2014who are moms and dads, looking at their boys and their daughters, growing up in this highly-sexualized world, who are asking a similar question, \u201cHow can we porn-proof our boys\/our daughters?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our girls too; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. First of all, address a married couple, who are really serious: \u201cI don\u2019t want to have any chance of lacking faithfulness to my spouse in my marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Well, I think, first of all, you become great friends. The Song of Solomon talks about really being friends and lovers. I think it\u2019s so vital that we <em>never<\/em> neglect being friends and lovers to each other and that we keep our sexual relationship with our spouse on the front burner all the days of our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s important to God\u2014in 1 Corinthians 7, He says, \u201c\u2026come together frequently\u201d; right? \u201cThe husband is to please his wife; the wife is to please her husband.\u201d It\u2019s meant to be this mutual feast of pleasure, and it\u2019s not something that we can neglect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn very few relationships, where there are affairs, do I see couples that are really connecting, emotionally, with each other\u2014really talking through \/ having the hard conversations\u2014having the honest conversations. They aren\u2019t keeping secrets from each other\u2014they\u2019ve developed emotional safety with each other. And then they have worked on keeping the sexual part of their marriage alive, and fresh, and exciting, and fun, and spontaneous\u2014they work at that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, so many times, we think married sex should look something like the movies\u2014you know, where it\u2019s just instantaneous and everybody\u2019s in the mood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think really great married sex requires a lot of discipline in it and\u2014like, \u201cNo; this is who I\u2019m going to choose to be,\u201d and like Proverbs talks about\u2014you know, she\u2019s generous to her husband. I always think about, \u201cShe\u2019s probably a generous lover to him; and hopefully, he\u2019s a generous lover to her; and he\u2019s thoughtful and kind.\u201d If he\u2019s not, then she\u2019s saying, \u201cHey, we need to talk about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can we talk about that? I love you; I\u2019m on your team. I think for this to be a win, it\u2019s got to be a win for you and for me. It can\u2019t just be a win for you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the mistakes maybe we\u2019ve made in the church is to make it sound a little bit like sex is a wife\u2019s duty and a man\u2019s pleasure. I truly think that\u2019s a mistake. I think that women are as sexual as men are. We just have a little slower pathway to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, men have more like a super highway until they get older. Then women\u2014we have more like a leisurely pathway, but I think that\u2019s really purposeful. I mean if we were all like men, it would be very quick and instantaneous and over with. If we\u2019re all like women, it might not happen very frequently [Laughter] or take too long for it to happen, and everybody gives up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> But you know\u2014together, it\u2019s really perfect. We\u2019re meant to balance each other. The man is meant to be sensitive to his wife and the wife is meant to be sensitive to him. Together, they meet each other; and they make love to each other. It\u2019s something that\u2019s deeply bonding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, for Ron and I, who\u2019ve been married for 44 years, the thought of an infidelity is like \u201cUgh\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not on the radar, because we have those hard conversations. When sex isn\u2019t working, we talk it through\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014even if it\u2019s hard, even if it\u2019s kind of embarrassing, or awkward, or shameful\u2014but we try to do it in a compassionate, kind way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know Nancy, I\u2019m looking at the clock. I want to make sure we get to the mommy and the daddy, who are raising our sons, who are being preyed upon by the culture\u2014and also, as Bob mentioned, our daughters as well: \u201cWhat advice do you have for them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Well, I say: \u201cStart talking to your kids frequently and often about human sexuality. They were born little sexual creatures.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents ask me, \u201cWhen do I have the talk?\u201d I\u2019m like: \u201cYou don\u2019t ever have <em>the<\/em> talk. You have a continual conversation.\u201d It\u2019s like that passage I think\u2014is it in Deuteronomy?\u2014where it talks about we have these conversations with our children when we\u2019re walking around, sitting around, hanging out. I think human sexuality needs to be an ongoing conversation with our children. It really starts when they\u2019re very little. You celebrate their gender\u2014like: \u201cLook at\u2014God made you a little boy, and we\u2019re celebrating your gender. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe\u2019re going to direct that. We\u2019re going to direct your play, and we\u2019re going to protect that and honor your gender. It\u2019s a beautiful God-given gift.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we start by naming their body parts with the medical appropriate names. When we call our children\u2019s sexual parts silly dilly names, our kids, when they get a little older\u2014they think Mom and Dad are kind of idiots\u2014[Laughter]\u2014like: \u201cl can\u2019t talk to them about sex, because they don\u2019t know what they\u2019re talking about\u201d; right? So, [we] parents usually have to get over our own shame narrative about talking about sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I had one girlfriend, who had four little boys. She said, \u201cNancy, I cannot say the \u2018P\u2019 word.\u201d I said: \u201cListen, you have four little boys. You\u2019re going to have to learn how to say the \u2018P\u2019 word. You\u2019re going to have to learn how to call their body parts by their appropriate names. So, I said: \u201cGo home, stand by the mirror, and say that word until you can say it until you\u2019re comfortable; because you need to start having conversations with your sons.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe did it. Then she came in to see me, about a year later, and she said, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you made me do that.\u201d I\u2019m like \u201cWhy?\u201d She goes, \u201cToday, at school,\u201d\u2014or maybe last week at school\u2014\u201cmy little boy came home\u201d\u2014and he\u2019s eight years old\u2014\u201cand he said: \u2018Mom, some of the boys were trying to show me pictures of naked women on their little readers\u201d\u2014you know, they get these little notebook tablets at school and on their phone\u2014\u201cand they\u2019re trying to show me\u2026\u201d She goes: \u201cOh yeah, that\u2019s porn. We\u2019ve talked about that.\u201d He goes: \u201cYes; I told them\u2014I said, \u2018Oh, my mom and dad have told me all about that. I\u2019m not interested.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalking to our children, often and frequently, protects them from porn, and from predators, and just from locker room talk, and from stupid information that kids give out on the playground; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad you talked about it being a talk\u2014it\u2019s, actually, a lifetime\u2019s talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> It\u2019s a lifetime talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you look at the Book of Proverbs\u2014and if our listeners haven\u2019t read Proverbs 5\u20137 recently, they should look at it\u2014it\u2019s a father\u2019s conversation to a son. We\u2019re not told how old the son was\u2014he could have been pre-puberty\/puberty; he could have been in his 20s or 30s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Because the conversation, I promise you, is a very important one at that time as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and this is something that we\u2019re committed to try and help moms and dads with, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We\u2019ve got resources in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center to help parents have the ongoing conversation with their children about sexual development. There are books available. There\u2019s the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u00ae getaway resource for parents with preteens\u2014something you do together as you get away. There\u2019s a whole lot more available. You\u2019ll find information about these resources on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd of course, we\u2019ve got your book, <em>Love and Sex<\/em>, on our website as well. I would encourage our listeners: \u201cThis is an area that you need to be proactive in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDon\u2019t just wait for the conversation to come up, but make sure the conversation is coming up with your kids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd make sure that it\u2019s a conversation you and your spouse are having together, regularly and in a healthy way. I like the way that you talk about this in the book, <em>Love and Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy<\/em>. Again, these resources are available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY \/ 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we think these kinds of conversations are important. In fact, I ran into some listeners, recently, when I was at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. They told me about how much <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014which they listen to on their local radio station \/ some of them are listening to it through the FamilyLife app or as a podcast\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they told me how much they depend on this daily radio program to keep them thinking rightly about their job, as husbands and wives \/ as moms and dads, raising the next generation. That\u2019s our goal. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families, who can change the world, one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are\u2014not just listeners\u2014but those of you who support this program to help keep us on the air, especially those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners, here, at FamilyLife. Your monthly partnership is vital to all that we do, here, at this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the month of May, we\u2019ve got some exciting news going on. We\u2019ve had some donors who have come alongside the ministry and have put together a matching-gift fund. They have agreed that they will match all of the donations we receive during the month of May, dollar for dollar. So any donation you give is going to be matched with money from this matching-gift fund until the fund runs out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you become a Legacy Partner, these folks have agreed they will match your donations, dollar for dollar\u2014any donation you make for the next 12 months. Every time you make a monthly donation for the next 12 months, it\u2019s matched, dollar for dollar. Your giving goes twice as far as a result of the matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you become a Legacy Partner this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a certificate that you can use to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. You can either use it for yourself or share it with somebody who is getting married. Maybe send your adult children to a getaway. Or maybe there\u2019s somebody in your community \/ somebody in your church that you\u2019d like to bless with one of these certificates. The gift certificate is yours when you become a Legacy Partner this month. Again, your monthly donations will be doubled for the next 12 months. Find out more about becoming a Legacy Partner when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI want to become a Legacy Partner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you can always make a onetime donation online. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we will continue our conversation with Nancy Houston, talking about Christians and intimacy\u2014love and sex in marriage. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:53"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.53M"],"filesize_raw":["26771855"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300231.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300231.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Houston talks about the dangerous addiction of pornography. \"Porn is often used to medicate pain,\" Houston says, \"But there are deeper issues that usually need healing.\"","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Nancy Houston says that healthy intimacy in marriage begins\u2014not when couples are together in the bedroom\u2014it\u2019s when they are practicing sacrificial love for one another throughout the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> <a id=\"_Hlk512505159\">I think so many times we think married sex should look something like the movies<\/a><a id=\"_Hlk511911112\">\u2014you know, where it\u2019s just instantaneous and everybody\u2019s in the mood. I think really great married sex requires a lot of discipline in it and\u2014like, \u201cNo; this is who I\u2019m going to choose to be,\u201d and like Proverbs talks about\u2014you know, she\u2019s generous to her husband. I always think about, \u201cShe\u2019s probably a generous lover to him; and hopefully, he\u2019s a generous lover to her; and he\u2019s thoughtful and kind.\u201d If he\u2019s not, then she\u2019s saying, \u201cHey, we need to talk about this.\u201d<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIntimacy in marriage is one of God\u2019s <em>good<\/em> gifts to couples. But a lot of couples aren\u2019t experiencing its full <em>goodness<\/em>. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There are any number of things that can cause a husband and wife to want to put an end to a marriage relationship. I think, maybe more than anything else in our culture today, it\u2019s the presence of some kind of sexual sin\u2014whether it\u2019s an affair, or pornography, or something that\u2019s gone on in a relationship where the sexual part of the relationship is broken. That may be, as much as anything, a leading indicator for why so many people are saying, \u201cThis marriage is done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know Bob, I think people bring all kinds of issues into a marriage relationship. Barbara and I went to a training course led by Dr. Dan Allender a number of years ago. In that training course about sexual abuse, he made this statement\u2014he said, \u201cSexual abuse is the hardest stone the devil of hell ever throws at a human being.\u201d All the #MeToo\u2014all of the things coming out about pornography \/ around extramarital affairs\u2014are pointing us to a culture that is in desperate need of finding hope in the midst of their pain and their trauma. I\u2019m pleased we can have this broadcast\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and offer counsel like Nancy Houston is offering folks in her book called <em>Love and Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNancy, that\u2019s what people are looking for today\u2014is healthy intimacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Yes; and oftentimes, we just want to get to that part without doing the hard work. Honestly, if we want healthy intimacy, most of us have to do, at least, some hard work and some of us have to do <em>a lot<\/em> of hard work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re a sex therapist. You have a lot of groups of men \/ of women who get together. I kind of\u2014as I read your book, I kind of pushed back and I went, \u201cThis has to be really fascinating\u2014to get a room full of men talking about how pornography found them or they found pornography as boys.\u201d Have you found this to be at an epidemic level in our culture today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Oh, it is absolutely out of control and the most dangerous addiction that we are dealing with. It is a <em>powerful<\/em> drug. You know, we have to remember that God created human sexuality to be a very bonding experience between a husband and a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen they start releasing all these feel-good hormones; and they\u2019re <em>powerful<\/em>. They\u2019re meant to bond a couple\u2014a husband and a wife\u2014for a life together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, when pornography does something similar but different\u2014it bonds you to these images. That\u2019s why it becomes <em>so<\/em> addictive. Every time a person watches porn, they\u2019re hitting that dopamine reward center in their brain; and they get a rush of dopamine\u2014that\u2019s what they get really addicted to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople also don\u2019t understand that pornography actually damages the prefrontal cortex\u2014it damages the relationship center of the brain. I get couples, who come into my office\u2014and like, \u201cYes; we don\u2019t have sex,\u201d or the wife is like: \u201cI hate sex,\u201d or \u201cHe never wants to make love to me anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just\u2014I\u2019m kind of like an explorer\u2014I get to start like, \u201cOkay; well tell me, \u2018How did sex start for you?\u2019\u201d I cannot tell you the men who say to me, \u201cWell, I was exposed to porn at eight.\u201d For some, they can be exposed and they are kind of like, \u201cAw, that\u2019s not for me.\u201d But for some, where maybe some of their needs are not being met in a home, then sex becomes sort of like a form of being nurtured or something. Pornography\u2014it looks like \u201cOh, these beautiful women on the other side of the screen\u2014they want me.\u201d There\u2019s usually some things in their lives that are not going well, and so they start using porn as a way to medicate pain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think sometimes in the church, we\u2019re like really heavy on: \u201cYou need to repent if you\u2019re looking at porn,\u201d or \u201c\u2026going to strip clubs,\u201d or you know \u201c\u2026having an affair.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, sure; <em>but<\/em> there\u2019s deeper issues that need <em>healing<\/em>\u2014that need the healing of Jesus\u2014and need to put safe people around them so they can experience being able to tell their story to safe people, who will sit with them, and weep with them, and be present with them and say: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry! You should have never been sexually abused by that older neighborhood boy,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m so sorry that your father wasn\u2019t there for you,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m so sorry that your mother could go into rages and neglect you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we just need to make it safe for people to tell their stories\u2014to realize: \u201cYou\u2019re not all alone.\u201d We can feel so alone and so shameful\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m the only one.\u201d People just hide and keep acting out. Statistically, they say that probably up to\u2014maybe even up as high as 70 percent of the men in our pews are addicted to porn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the thing is\u2014it has to escalate. Every drug has to escalate; right?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like people who can maybe get a little buzz with a couple of glasses of wine\u2014eventually, it escalates into four, or five, or six. You know, there\u2019s always this escalation. Oftentimes, somebody will start with some porn; then it will escalate. Before you know it, they\u2019re maybe having an affair, or they\u2019re looking at types of porn they <em>never<\/em> thought they would look at, or they\u2019re going to strip clubs, or they\u2019re acting out in some way that <em>they<\/em> thought they would <em>never<\/em> be capable of doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the truth is\u2014we\u2019re all capable of everything\u2014I mean, we have to remember that. We\u2019re all capable of everything; you know: \u201cBut by the grace of God, there go I\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I think we just have to start digging into the soil of people\u2019s lives and saying, \u201cWhat got put into your soil?\u201d and \u201cHow can we now start putting in some grace, and truth, and love, and compassion and walk you through this?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was over \u201cMarriage Crises\u201d when I was on staff at a church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just, statistically, started seeing what\u2019s walking through my door\u2014tons of porn addiction, affairs, some Christian couples who are into swinging\u2014I mean, all kinds of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I just thought: \u201cOkay; well, let\u2019s start meeting the needs. Let\u2019s be practical. This is a reality. Let\u2019s not pretend it\u2019s not happening. Let\u2019s <em>provide<\/em> some ways for them to heal.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, these couples\u2014I had this great woman, who she and her husband had been through this\u2014so mostly they ran this program. They would take them through this 14-week process, where people started telling their stories. Whoever had the affair would start getting honest \/ getting real; but we would give them a lot of support like, \u201cYou\u2019re not alone in this.\u201d We would just walk them through this healing journey. Then, honestly, like about 75 percent of those couples became some of our strongest marriage volunteers; because they had done the hard work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s important\u2014you said \u201cYes; there needs to be repentance \/ a change of behavior,\u201d\u2014but that word [repentance] really means \u201ca change of mind\u201d \/ \u201ca change of heart.\u201d We can scold and shame people, and modify their behavior; but we haven\u2019t touched the heart if that\u2019s all we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I hear you saying, in the midst of this, is \u201cWe\u2019ve got to do the hard work of digging through the soil, and getting to the roots of these, and saying, \u2018This is what\u2019s driving, at some level, looking at porn,\u201d or \u201c\u2026having an affair,\u201d or \u201c\u2026these other things.\u201d These are symptoms of something that is buried deep that needs to be explored; and the Scriptures need to be brought to bear on the root issues, not just on the behavior issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Nancy, what I hear you saying that you do is\u2014you bring it out of the dark and out of the secret into the light.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And there\u2019s a lot of things in our lives\u2014as long as they\u2019re dormant and they\u2019re kept quiet, we don\u2019t admit them\u2014there can\u2019t be the kind of repentance of the heart like Bob\u2019s talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s as a group of people get together\u2014in a recovery group\u2014and they start telling their story, and other people are hearing your story, and you\u2019re hearing their story of how they were impacted by their sin \/ the ugliness of this\u2014I think is part of the healing of people repenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I do too. It\u2019s such a sweet way of repentance taking place; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love what you just said; because, even for my healing journey\u2014you know, I\u2019ve been taught not to talk: \u201cDon\u2019t talk, and don\u2019t feel.\u201d Here I am, going on this journey, going, \u201cI\u2019m going to have to feel, and I\u2019m going to have to talk.\u201d I kept thinking of that Scripture that says, \u201cThe truth will set you free.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I just clung to that\u2014like: \u201cOkay; truth is going to set me free. I\u2019ve got to bring the dark into the light. That\u2019s the only way for me to know the truth.\u201d I didn\u2019t want to know the truth, but I had to know the truth to heal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just reading some Scripture\u2014I can\u2019t remember where it was; forgive me for that\u2014but that said, basically, when we come to Jesus, it\u2019s a total surrender. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe lay down our father, mother, our spouse, our children, and our own lives; but we have to pick up our cross. For me, my cross included this history of abuse\u2014I\u2019m like: \u201cYou know, if I\u2019m going to grow myself up and become the adult I want to become, I\u2019m going to have to deal with all this stuff. But Jesus is going to be there in it with me, and for me, and along with me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the most beautiful thing about going on a sexual-healing journey is\u2014for me, anyway\u2014I discovered who God was. I remember, in this process, being able to say to God: \u201cI\u2019m so angry with You God,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWhere were You? Why didn\u2019t You protect me?\u201d He didn\u2019t get angry with me. It\u2019s not just a sexual-healing journey. I think our spirituality and our sexuality are <em>so <\/em>deeply tied; because our sexuality is such at the core of who we are, as God\u2019s creatures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all sexual creatures by God\u2019s design. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not a glitch in our engineering, even though some may feel that way. That\u2019s why I would challenge every one of our listeners\u2014like: \u201cIf you have sexual history and baggage in your life\u201d\u2014which most people do\u2014\u201cplease bring it in to community, and connection, and fellowship\u2014but with safe people\u2014not somebody who\u2019s going to say to you: \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have done that,\u201d \u201cYou need to get over that,\u201d \u201cYou need to stop that behavior,\u201d\u2014but where you\u2019re getting with safe people, who will love you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes; you\u2019re taking full ownership for your behaviors; right?\u2014because you have to own yourself; right?\u2014nobody is going to own that for you. Yes; we have to recognize that part of my healing was to go: \u201cOh, I was victimized; but I\u2019m not going to live as a victim. I\u2019m going to live as an overcomer. I\u2019m not going to live this way!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that can lead a person to healing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking of our listening audience right now. I\u2019m thinking of two groups of people. I really hate to turn away from where we are exactly, but there\u2019s two groups that are wanting you to speak to them right now\u2014I\u2019m convinced. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne is a group of husbands and wives, who ask, \u201cHow can I affair-proof my marriage?\u201d And another group of people\u2014who are moms and dads, looking at their boys and their daughters, growing up in this highly-sexualized world, who are asking a similar question, \u201cHow can we porn-proof our boys\/our daughters?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our girls too; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; exactly. First of all, address a married couple, who are really serious: \u201cI don\u2019t want to have any chance of lacking faithfulness to my spouse in my marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Well, I think, first of all, you become great friends. The Song of Solomon talks about really being friends and lovers. I think it\u2019s so vital that we <em>never<\/em> neglect being friends and lovers to each other and that we keep our sexual relationship with our spouse on the front burner all the days of our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s important to God\u2014in 1 Corinthians 7, He says, \u201c\u2026come together frequently\u201d; right? \u201cThe husband is to please his wife; the wife is to please her husband.\u201d It\u2019s meant to be this mutual feast of pleasure, and it\u2019s not something that we can neglect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn very few relationships, where there are affairs, do I see couples that are really connecting, emotionally, with each other\u2014really talking through \/ having the hard conversations\u2014having the honest conversations. They aren\u2019t keeping secrets from each other\u2014they\u2019ve developed emotional safety with each other. And then they have worked on keeping the sexual part of their marriage alive, and fresh, and exciting, and fun, and spontaneous\u2014they work at that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, so many times, we think married sex should look something like the movies\u2014you know, where it\u2019s just instantaneous and everybody\u2019s in the mood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think really great married sex requires a lot of discipline in it and\u2014like, \u201cNo; this is who I\u2019m going to choose to be,\u201d and like Proverbs talks about\u2014you know, she\u2019s generous to her husband. I always think about, \u201cShe\u2019s probably a generous lover to him; and hopefully, he\u2019s a generous lover to her; and he\u2019s thoughtful and kind.\u201d If he\u2019s not, then she\u2019s saying, \u201cHey, we need to talk about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can we talk about that? I love you; I\u2019m on your team. I think for this to be a win, it\u2019s got to be a win for you and for me. It can\u2019t just be a win for you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the mistakes maybe we\u2019ve made in the church is to make it sound a little bit like sex is a wife\u2019s duty and a man\u2019s pleasure. I truly think that\u2019s a mistake. I think that women are as sexual as men are. We just have a little slower pathway to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, men have more like a super highway until they get older. Then women\u2014we have more like a leisurely pathway, but I think that\u2019s really purposeful. I mean if we were all like men, it would be very quick and instantaneous and over with. If we\u2019re all like women, it might not happen very frequently [Laughter] or take too long for it to happen, and everybody gives up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> But you know\u2014together, it\u2019s really perfect. We\u2019re meant to balance each other. The man is meant to be sensitive to his wife and the wife is meant to be sensitive to him. Together, they meet each other; and they make love to each other. It\u2019s something that\u2019s deeply bonding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, for Ron and I, who\u2019ve been married for 44 years, the thought of an infidelity is like \u201cUgh\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not on the radar, because we have those hard conversations. When sex isn\u2019t working, we talk it through\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014even if it\u2019s hard, even if it\u2019s kind of embarrassing, or awkward, or shameful\u2014but we try to do it in a compassionate, kind way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know Nancy, I\u2019m looking at the clock. I want to make sure we get to the mommy and the daddy, who are raising our sons, who are being preyed upon by the culture\u2014and also, as Bob mentioned, our daughters as well: \u201cWhat advice do you have for them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Well, I say: \u201cStart talking to your kids frequently and often about human sexuality. They were born little sexual creatures.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents ask me, \u201cWhen do I have the talk?\u201d I\u2019m like: \u201cYou don\u2019t ever have <em>the<\/em> talk. You have a continual conversation.\u201d It\u2019s like that passage I think\u2014is it in Deuteronomy?\u2014where it talks about we have these conversations with our children when we\u2019re walking around, sitting around, hanging out. I think human sexuality needs to be an ongoing conversation with our children. It really starts when they\u2019re very little. You celebrate their gender\u2014like: \u201cLook at\u2014God made you a little boy, and we\u2019re celebrating your gender. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe\u2019re going to direct that. We\u2019re going to direct your play, and we\u2019re going to protect that and honor your gender. It\u2019s a beautiful God-given gift.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we start by naming their body parts with the medical appropriate names. When we call our children\u2019s sexual parts silly dilly names, our kids, when they get a little older\u2014they think Mom and Dad are kind of idiots\u2014[Laughter]\u2014like: \u201cl can\u2019t talk to them about sex, because they don\u2019t know what they\u2019re talking about\u201d; right? So, [we] parents usually have to get over our own shame narrative about talking about sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I had one girlfriend, who had four little boys. She said, \u201cNancy, I cannot say the \u2018P\u2019 word.\u201d I said: \u201cListen, you have four little boys. You\u2019re going to have to learn how to say the \u2018P\u2019 word. You\u2019re going to have to learn how to call their body parts by their appropriate names. So, I said: \u201cGo home, stand by the mirror, and say that word until you can say it until you\u2019re comfortable; because you need to start having conversations with your sons.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe did it. Then she came in to see me, about a year later, and she said, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you made me do that.\u201d I\u2019m like \u201cWhy?\u201d She goes, \u201cToday, at school,\u201d\u2014or maybe last week at school\u2014\u201cmy little boy came home\u201d\u2014and he\u2019s eight years old\u2014\u201cand he said: \u2018Mom, some of the boys were trying to show me pictures of naked women on their little readers\u201d\u2014you know, they get these little notebook tablets at school and on their phone\u2014\u201cand they\u2019re trying to show me\u2026\u201d She goes: \u201cOh yeah, that\u2019s porn. We\u2019ve talked about that.\u201d He goes: \u201cYes; I told them\u2014I said, \u2018Oh, my mom and dad have told me all about that. I\u2019m not interested.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalking to our children, often and frequently, protects them from porn, and from predators, and just from locker room talk, and from stupid information that kids give out on the playground; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad you talked about it being a talk\u2014it\u2019s, actually, a lifetime\u2019s talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> It\u2019s a lifetime talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you look at the Book of Proverbs\u2014and if our listeners haven\u2019t read Proverbs 5\u20137 recently, they should look at it\u2014it\u2019s a father\u2019s conversation to a son. We\u2019re not told how old the son was\u2014he could have been pre-puberty\/puberty; he could have been in his 20s or 30s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Because the conversation, I promise you, is a very important one at that time as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and this is something that we\u2019re committed to try and help moms and dads with, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We\u2019ve got resources in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center to help parents have the ongoing conversation with their children about sexual development. There are books available. There\u2019s the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u00ae getaway resource for parents with preteens\u2014something you do together as you get away. There\u2019s a whole lot more available. You\u2019ll find information about these resources on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd of course, we\u2019ve got your book, <em>Love and Sex<\/em>, on our website as well. I would encourage our listeners: \u201cThis is an area that you need to be proactive in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDon\u2019t just wait for the conversation to come up, but make sure the conversation is coming up with your kids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd make sure that it\u2019s a conversation you and your spouse are having together, regularly and in a healthy way. I like the way that you talk about this in the book, <em>Love and Sex: A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy<\/em>. Again, these resources are available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY \/ 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we think these kinds of conversations are important. In fact, I ran into some listeners, recently, when I was at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. They told me about how much <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014which they listen to on their local radio station \/ some of them are listening to it through the FamilyLife app or as a podcast\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they told me how much they depend on this daily radio program to keep them thinking rightly about their job, as husbands and wives \/ as moms and dads, raising the next generation. That\u2019s our goal. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families, who can change the world, one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are\u2014not just listeners\u2014but those of you who support this program to help keep us on the air, especially those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners, here, at FamilyLife. Your monthly partnership is vital to all that we do, here, at this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the month of May, we\u2019ve got some exciting news going on. We\u2019ve had some donors who have come alongside the ministry and have put together a matching-gift fund. They have agreed that they will match all of the donations we receive during the month of May, dollar for dollar. So any donation you give is going to be matched with money from this matching-gift fund until the fund runs out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you become a Legacy Partner, these folks have agreed they will match your donations, dollar for dollar\u2014any donation you make for the next 12 months. Every time you make a monthly donation for the next 12 months, it\u2019s matched, dollar for dollar. Your giving goes twice as far as a result of the matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you become a Legacy Partner this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a certificate that you can use to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. You can either use it for yourself or share it with somebody who is getting married. Maybe send your adult children to a getaway. Or maybe there\u2019s somebody in your community \/ somebody in your church that you\u2019d like to bless with one of these certificates. The gift certificate is yours when you become a Legacy Partner this month. Again, your monthly donations will be doubled for the next 12 months. Find out more about becoming a Legacy Partner when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI want to become a Legacy Partner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you can always make a onetime donation online. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we will continue our conversation with Nancy Houston, talking about Christians and intimacy\u2014love and sex in marriage. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300231","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300231"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300231"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300231"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300231"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}