{"id":300227,"date":"2018-05-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-taste-of-art-of-parenting\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:24","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:24","slug":"a-taste-of-art-of-parenting","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-taste-of-art-of-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"A Taste of Art of Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hear excerpts of various guests, including Phil Vischer, Bryan and Korie Loritts, Ron Deal, and Susan Yates sharing their experiences pertaining to FamilyLife&#8217;s Art of Parenting\u2122.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-04.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:22","filesize":"25.98M","filesize_raw":"27241640","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2806],"tags":[4371],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[8828],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300227","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-spiritual-development","tag-familylife-art-of-parenting","cwp_profile-various-guests","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300227\/a-taste-of-art-of-parenting","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300227\/a-taste-of-art-of-parenting","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"WFs8nNIS5h\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-taste-of-art-of-parenting\/\">A Taste of Art of Parenting<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-taste-of-art-of-parenting\/embed\/#?secret=WFs8nNIS5h\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Taste of Art of Parenting&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"WFs8nNIS5h\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-04.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-04.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Parenting has its challenges today; right? Alistair Begg says there are parents today who are in desperate need of counsel and mentors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> I see moms, you know, with one of these here and one there and another one there at the absolute limit of their emotions\u2014tyrannized and without any mechanism in their framework of existence in order to handle the situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, May 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear some wisdom for parents today from a whole bunch of people: Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, Ann Wilson, Phil Vischer, Susan Yates, Alex Kendrick, Stephen Kendrick. I\u2019ll quit there. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s a pretty exciting week with a lot of our listeners who came out Tuesday, came out last night for the <em>Like Arrows<\/em> movie that was in theaters. Our hope, Dennis, is that these movies would not just end when the movie was over; but that listeners who came out and joined us will be motivated to take some action and rally other parents and begin a movement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Movies entertain; movies move us emotionally; and in this case, we\u2019re wanting to move people more than just emotionally. We want their feet to move\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to establish an <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> small group as a result of what they\u2019ve seen in the movie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, in fact, there are really two ways to engage with the new <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series we\u2019ve created. There is an online course that parents can go through. A couple can start watching the material online. A mom or a dad can do this on their own. It\u2019s free; but we\u2019re\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014hoping that there will be just a whole army of folks who would get together with five \/ six \/ seven other couples and start to go through the material we\u2019ve created\u2014a video series, eight sessions\u2014called FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe thought today we\u2019d help our listeners understand what\u2019s included in this series. The way we wanted to do that is help you listen to a little bit from Session 1 of FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. The place we start with the video series is the place you started when you first created the FamilyLife Parenting Conference, years ago. We start by talking about what it is that kids need most from a mom and a dad. Moms and dads need to understand what\u2019s the assignment that\u2019s been given to us and what do our kids really need from us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They need other parents coming alongside them to clarify exactly what it is that children really need because if you just let the children tell you what they need, they are going to be self-serving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, we went around and interviewed more than a dozen contributors\u2014pastors, authors, speakers, medical doctors. We got input from a lot of people. In fact, we\u2019re going to hear, right now, from Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, Ann Wilson, Fred Mach, and Phil Vischer as they answer the question: \u201cWhat is the goal of parenting?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpts from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> Most parents think their job is food, clothing, shelter, health, education, and welfare; and it is. You are giving birth to a human being. They expect you to do that, but we also expect you to do that if you have a dog or a cat or a fish. Those are important parts of the child\u2019s upbringing; but they are B-priorities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I think most parents in America say, \u201cI want my kids to be happy,\u201d and \/ or, \u201cI want them to be successful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I feel like\u2014\u201cOh my gosh! That\u2019s not good enough.\u201d First of all, there\u2019s going to be so much hardship and heartache that our kids are going to experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHappiness is just an emotion that comes and goes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Fred:<\/strong> What does happiness look like? It\u2019s kind of difficult to answer. It\u2019s kind of this ephemeral\u2014\u201cI want them to feel good. I want them to be successful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> Therefore, I\u2019ve got to have my kids, kind of, on this fast-track to being in a corner office somewhere by the age of 25; instead of going\u2014\u201cWhere is this child? What is their bent? What is the way in which I should train them up?\u201d I\u2019m now putting them in situations in which they are not flourishing; they\u2019re floundering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Then, as parents, we measure our success or failure\u2014\u201cI didn\u2019t get them into enough lessons. I didn\u2019t start them early enough. If I started\u2014because look on Facebook, that kid\u2014he started when he was two; and now, he has a full-ride scholarship, and he\u2019s going to play in the NFL. His life is set up forever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do that to ourselves constantly; but when we measure our parenting on a scale of\u2014\u201cIs he in the top of his class, is he the best on his team?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we without knowing it have become legalists. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> Right here in Palo Alto, there are some train tracks. On these train tracks, there is a tent set up\u2014just off the train tracks\u2014with a police officer. I said to my executive pastor, \u201cWhat is this?\u201d He goes\u2014\u201cWell, they\u2019ve had a rash of 10 \/ 11 \/ 12 year old kids throwing themselves in front of trains; and it\u2019s because their parents are pushing them too hard. So, they realize a B or a C isn\u2019t going to cut it; and the only alternative is\u2014these 10 \/ 11 \/ 12 year old kids have in their thinking is death.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, that is Bryan Loritts along with Phil Vischer and Fred Mach, Ann Wilson, Tim Kimmel. The goal of parenting is not to press our kids too hard, and it\u2019s not to make them happy. We have to know clearly what it is God\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014calling us to as we raise the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A couple\u2014a mom and dad\u2014have to be one. They have to be in agreement about what the goal and the objective is. Otherwise, they could be pulling the child in opposite directions. I sat there listening to Bryan\u2019s comment about having a police tent near the railroad tracks\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because 11 and 12 year old kids are killing themselves. I mean children need parents\u2014period\u2014but they need us to be parents, not their buddies, not their best friend. I\u2019m not saying we shouldn\u2019t be friends with our kids, but that\u2019s not the primary goal of parenting. It\u2019s to train your child and to equip them and to protect them from the world they\u2019ve got to live their lives in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Continuing in Session 1 of FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>, Phil Vischer, Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, again, along with Susan Yates, and Jessica Thompson talk about where our focus ought to be as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpts from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> In management, they say, you get the behavior you reward. If people get applause in your family because they won the big game or got straight-A\u2019s, then, that is the culture you\u2019ve shaped. So, you want to back up and say, \u201cWhat do I actually want to reward?\u201d It\u2019s a different set of values. Kingdom values are a different set of values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> If you start out your job knowing how long this kid is going to live and keep that in mind at all times, everything changes. I happen to know how long every kid lives. They live forever. You need to raise your kid with eternity in mind. When you do, then, all these other things\u2014these B-priorities\u2014which are very important priorities\u2014feeding them and clothing them and educating them and all that stuff\u2014I think they are done far more effectively and in balance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> Raising kids in America, if I do nothing intentional, I am going to release into this culture narcissistic, entitled individuals who think the world revolves around them. Trying to create an other-centered view of life,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I think is really what we\u2019re trying to get at here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> This begins at a very early age. It begins at the dinner table: \u201cWho was somebody in your class today that\u2019s maybe feeling a little bit lonely or whose family is going through a hard time? How can you care for that person in your class?\u201d\u00a0 We always want to be thinking other. This is a great thing you can do together as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> The A-priority of a parent is to connect to the heart of a child, in such a way, that makes it easy for that child to connect to the heart of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> If we want to expose our kids to God, we need to view them like God views them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jessica:<\/strong> He welcomes the son who was the prodigal who ran away. He runs to greet him. Then, you have the self-righteous, older brother outside; and he says, \u201cCome into the party too\u201d; right? That heart toward both is what we need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Really two themes coming through there from Jessica Thompson and Susan Yates, Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, Phil Vischer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the themes are need to raise kids to be others-centered and to be connected to God. You need to teach them to love God and love your neighbor. I\u2019ve heard that somewhere before; haven\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What I\u2019d say is, it\u2019s connecting them to God that will help them be others-centered\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because as they relate to God, He is perfectly capable of using you as a parent and using any number of circumstances to humble your child and help him realize there is a God, and it\u2019s not him. Children need parents to realize that the universe does not\u2014<em>does not<\/em>\u2014circle around them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s easy\u2014in fact, it\u2019s probably natural for a home to become child-centered when a child comes into the home. Moms and dads have to be intentional and purposeful to say, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to have this home centered around our child. Our child is a welcome member of the family but not the center of the universe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s why a date-night between a mom and a dad, getting away from the kids, is really important just to recalibrate as a couple and go\u2014\u201cYou know what? We\u2019re in charge here. We may not feel like it a good bit of the time, but we\u2019re in charge. We need to be taking each of our children in the direction that God wants them to go. We know that God wants them to love Him first and foremost.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The date-night\u2014you bring that up\u2014it\u2019s one of the key things we talk about in Session 1 of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. What kids need most from a mom and dad is for Mom and Dad to have a strong, healthy marriage relationship. We\u2019re going to hear about that from, again, Tim Kimmel and Susan Yates but also Eric and Erikah Rivera, Ron Deal, Alex and Stephen Kendrick, Dave and Ann Wilson, Bryan Loritts, Phil Vischer, and Jessica Thompson. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s quite a lineup, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is quite a lineup here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpts from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> You know there was a time when Darcy and I stood before some people, and we married each other. We were basically making a commitment to start writing a love story. So, a love story is just like a novel. It has chapters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, a chapter came along called Karis, then Cody, then Shiloh, and Cole. These four children became part of this story we were telling, but we knew for us to do the best we could for them their story must always be insubordination to our story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> It\u2019s so easy in our culture today for us to put our kids first. We want to be good parents; and what can happen\u2014and it can be very subtle\u2014is that you put your marriage on hold. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erikah:<\/strong> We tell our kids that Mommy and Papi\u2014we\u2019re a team, and you can\u2019t break up this team. I think that that brings about security in them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> We all know couples in first marriages can give their marriage away to their kids; but when kids preceded the marriage\u2014like in a blended family situation\u2014couples have got to work even harder at making their marriage a priority so they can lead from a position of unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> As your kids grow, if they see or even sense\u2014\u201cYou know what? My mom and dad might love each other, but I\u2019m the\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cimportant one here, and Mom will break with Dad to meet my need.\u201d What\u2019s going to happen when they become adults? That track record is going to continue to their children, and that\u2019s harmful on the marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> So, after the children come, many times the mom is pouring into the child; Dad goes back to work a lot of times. He\u2019s prioritizing work, and the husband has to be very careful that he is not overly selfish. It\u2019s somewhat important for him to take a sacrificial attitude; but yet, it\u2019s also important for the wife to remember the marriage is the bigger priority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jessica:<\/strong> My husband and I have been married 21 years this year. As we talk about those earlier years, he did feel neglected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eric:<\/strong> I remember the temptations with a newborn child\u2014feeling resentful toward him, like\u2014\u201cYou took my wife away\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jessica:<\/strong> So, those early years are hard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that we struggled through that, but what we figured out is we had to have a date-night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> I\u2019m a big believer in continuing to date your spouse throughout your marriage and telling the kids,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re getting a sitter tonight, and I\u2019m going to go prioritize Mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I felt like it was my responsibility to get the sitters \/ to take care of that so she didn\u2019t have to think about it. Date-nights every week\u2014it took\u2014not kidding\u201490 minutes for her to show up across the table at that dinner table. She was there, but she wasn\u2019t there because her heart was with those children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> This is not a time to talk about whatever hot issue you have because then neither one of you is going to want to go out. It\u2019s going to be a real downer. Date-night is reserved for building a friendship\u2014that friendship that brought you together in the first place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s just healthy for them to know you\u2019re not the center of our world. In fact, on the pecking order, you\u2019re about number three. There\u2019s God; there\u2019s my wife Korie; then, there is you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> A healthy marriage creates the context for healthy parenting which creates the context for happy kids. So, if you want happy kids, swim upstream. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWork on good parenting and swim upstream from that and work on a good marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Don\u2019t you love getting parenting advice from Bob the Tomato? [Laughter] That was Phil Vischer along with Bryan Loritts and Dave and Ann Wilson, Jessica Thompson, Stephen and Alex Kendrick, Ron Deal, Eric and Erikah Rivera, Susan Yates, Tim Kimmel\u2014great lineup of folks making the point\u2014and it\u2019s a solid point\u2014\u201cYour marriage has got to be strong if you want healthy kids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The point of going through the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> with other couples is letting them rub off on you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and give you courage to make your marriage priority; to make your convictions clearer and strong; and then to do what you said you\u2019re going to do because I think kids have a way of wearing us down \/ wearing us out, and we just kind of cave in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you go through this material from the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014we\u2019re listening to Session 1 today\u2014when you go through it with other couples, if you go through it with older couples, you have mentors there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the points we make in Session 1 is that parents need mentors. In fact, we\u2019re going to hear about that from Alistair Begg, Bryan and Korie Loritts, and Stephen Kendrick. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> Well, you know, when you are young as parents\u2014unless you\u2019ve been well parented yourself\u2014you really have very little framework. I mean you can read books, but I suppose I just speak in passing to the importance of good role models and surrounding ourselves as young parents with people that we admire and who have, apparently, done a good job on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see moms with one of these here and one there and another one there at the absolute limit of their emotions\u2014tyrannized and without any mechanism in their framework of existence in order to handle the situation. The Bible answers that: \u201cGood models of older people can help those young couples distinguish between what is helpfully punitive\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if you like\u2014\u201cand what is reformative at the same time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I think one of the best things single parents can do is to try to recruit mentors and to be in social networks where you can find positive mentors who share your values. I think that way you can kind of fill in the gaps. One of my best friends in life\u2014he grew up in a very dysfunctional home, and his biological father wasn\u2019t around. My dad filled in those gaps. He did it for a lot of young men at our church. To see, decades later, the healthy trajectory that these individuals are on\u2014they all say, \u201cWe saw vision of what could be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Korie:<\/strong> I was definitely more rough around the edges when I was younger\u2014just the pain of divorce. To have a community to rally around these single parents and around these children that don\u2019t have a mom or a dad, it is important\u2014and to know that they are a part of something greater. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> It is so important that we look for someone who is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014further down the road than we are and is doing it right; and we\u2019re going to them; and we\u2019re saying, \u201cTell me what you\u2019ve learned. You\u2019re further along than I am.\u201d We don\u2019t have to learn everything the hard way; you know? We might as well learn from those that are doing it right and are further along than we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, from Session 1 of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>, the priority of mentors\u2014it\u2019s important for moms and dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Whether you\u2019re a nuclear family, a single parent, or a blended family\u2014all parents need mentors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That gets addressed in this series\u2014single parenting, blended families. Really the place we land in Session 1 is around the idea that what\u2019s most important for you as a mom and a dad is what you model as parents. We\u2019ll hear about that from Dave and Ann Wilson, Ron Deal, Alistair Begg, Kevin DeYoung, Bryan Loritts, and Tim Kimmel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think the greatest thing you can do for your kids spiritually to teach them is for us parents to walk with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Live it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that our kids\u2014they are not listening to us as much as watching us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Kids really need to see us connecting faith and life. So, you may be driving down the road one day. Your kid is sitting in the car, and you just start talking out loud about a decision that you\u2019ve been working on that last week. Maybe, it had to do with how you were going to spend your money on something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou decided to give it to somebody else or do something with it for somebody else rather than spending it on yourself\u2014something selfish. You\u2019re just talking out loud around this decision that your kids have no idea has been going on in the background of their life; and you\u2019re sharing all of that, and the point is you\u2019re showing them how faith connects to real life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> Those kinds of things in Scotland, we would say, is better felt than telt. There is a dimension to it. There is an ethos to it that is picked up on by the child that may take years for them to suddenly figure out\u2014\u201cWell, this is actually what was happening there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom the parental perspective, I think it\u2019s imperative to be purposeful in that way and authentic in that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> If your kids learn from years and decades that they get up on Sunday morning and they go to church\u2014Mom and Dad brought them there\u2014that they pray before they go to bed, that they pray before meals, that they see Mom or Dad in the chair on the couch reading their Bible in the morning, and they learn how to do that. All those habits of grace are really important, and we can do it in a way that\u2019s legalistic and unhelpful; but hopefully, people see it modeled in their parents so that they develop it themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I\u2019m keenly aware that whatever perceptions they have of God at ages 25 \/ 30 \/ 40\u2014whatever\u2014I shaped that. I mean I have to own that. To me, that\u2019s one of the biggest, joyful burdens of parenting. I am hand-delivering them their perception of who God is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you\u2019re the first in your family history. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> I think the thing that carries the most weight for the influence we could have for the Gospel is when they see us trust the God of the Gospel\u2014no matter what comes our way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, there you go\u2014a quick overview of Session 1 of our new <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series. What\u2019s the goal of parenting, the priority of marriage, the need for mentors, and what we model\u2014that\u2019s as important as anything we teach; isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is. Bob, what our listeners don\u2019t realize is you just touched the very top the iceberg here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There is a lot more underneath the waterline in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> including teaching your kids to have healthy relationships with God and with their siblings and with others who don\u2019t believe like them. Then, a second area is character: teaching your children to be wise and not be foolish;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014identity\u2014sexual, emotional, spiritual identity; and finally, mission: how you can train your children to be on mission in a culture today that, if they are not on mission\u2014if your kids don\u2019t know where they are going\u2014the culture is going to seduce them away\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014from God\u2019s mission for their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It seems to me that we really need to take just a minute here and say a big thank you, not only to the contributors who are a part of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series and the online course that we put together, but a really big thank you to the people who support this ministry. It\u2019s our friends \/ our donors who have made the movie this week that has been in theaters and now this new video series\u2014they\u2019ve made all of this possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fact that we can put this <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> course online for free is because folks believe in what FamilyLife is all about, and they want to see this message out to more people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, those of you who are not just regular listeners but supporters of this ministry\u2014\u201cThank you for making everything we\u2019re doing with the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> possible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you are a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a donation or if you\u2019re not one of our monthly Legacy Partners, the people who are really the financial backbone for all that we\u2019re doing\u2014during the month of May, we\u2019re asking you to consider making a donation or becoming a Legacy Partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve had some friends who have made funds available as a matching gift. So, as our listeners are able to respond this month, your donations are going to be matched dollar for dollar up to the total amount of the matching gift. If you become a Legacy Partner this month and you make a first donation, not only will your donation be matched this month, but every donation you make for the next 12 months is also going to be matched dollar for dollar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re praying that God would raise up 300 new Legacy Partners during the month of May. Stop and think about that\u2014that\u2019s just six families in every state where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould you be one of those six families in your state and become one of our new legacy partners? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to having your donation matched, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for becoming a Legacy Partner,\u201d by sending you a certificate for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway that you can use for yourself or you can give as a gift. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information; or call and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to become a Legacy Partner.\u201d Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Our phone number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like more information about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014either the online course or FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> DVD series for churches and small groups\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The information is available there. The kits are available, and you can sign up to start taking the online course immediately. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for joining us. Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. Then, I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk with a woman who has done thousands of hours of counseling with people about intimacy issues in their marriage. We\u2019ll talk about the importance and the power of a healthy, intimate marriage relationship. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:22"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.98M"],"filesize_raw":["27241640"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300227.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300227.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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excerpts of various guests, including Phil Vischer, Bryan and Korie Loritts, Ron Deal, and Susan Yates sharing their experiences pertaining to FamilyLife's Art of Parenting\u2122.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-05-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Parenting has its challenges today; right? Alistair Begg says there are parents today who are in desperate need of counsel and mentors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> I see moms, you know, with one of these here and one there and another one there at the absolute limit of their emotions\u2014tyrannized and without any mechanism in their framework of existence in order to handle the situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, May 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear some wisdom for parents today from a whole bunch of people: Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, Ann Wilson, Phil Vischer, Susan Yates, Alex Kendrick, Stephen Kendrick. I\u2019ll quit there. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s a pretty exciting week with a lot of our listeners who came out Tuesday, came out last night for the <em>Like Arrows<\/em> movie that was in theaters. Our hope, Dennis, is that these movies would not just end when the movie was over; but that listeners who came out and joined us will be motivated to take some action and rally other parents and begin a movement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Movies entertain; movies move us emotionally; and in this case, we\u2019re wanting to move people more than just emotionally. We want their feet to move\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to establish an <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><em><sup>\u2122<\/sup><\/em> small group as a result of what they\u2019ve seen in the movie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, in fact, there are really two ways to engage with the new <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series we\u2019ve created. There is an online course that parents can go through. A couple can start watching the material online. A mom or a dad can do this on their own. It\u2019s free; but we\u2019re\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014hoping that there will be just a whole army of folks who would get together with five \/ six \/ seven other couples and start to go through the material we\u2019ve created\u2014a video series, eight sessions\u2014called FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe thought today we\u2019d help our listeners understand what\u2019s included in this series. The way we wanted to do that is help you listen to a little bit from Session 1 of FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. The place we start with the video series is the place you started when you first created the FamilyLife Parenting Conference, years ago. We start by talking about what it is that kids need most from a mom and a dad. Moms and dads need to understand what\u2019s the assignment that\u2019s been given to us and what do our kids really need from us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They need other parents coming alongside them to clarify exactly what it is that children really need because if you just let the children tell you what they need, they are going to be self-serving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, we went around and interviewed more than a dozen contributors\u2014pastors, authors, speakers, medical doctors. We got input from a lot of people. In fact, we\u2019re going to hear, right now, from Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, Ann Wilson, Fred Mach, and Phil Vischer as they answer the question: \u201cWhat is the goal of parenting?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpts from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> Most parents think their job is food, clothing, shelter, health, education, and welfare; and it is. You are giving birth to a human being. They expect you to do that, but we also expect you to do that if you have a dog or a cat or a fish. Those are important parts of the child\u2019s upbringing; but they are B-priorities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I think most parents in America say, \u201cI want my kids to be happy,\u201d and \/ or, \u201cI want them to be successful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I feel like\u2014\u201cOh my gosh! That\u2019s not good enough.\u201d First of all, there\u2019s going to be so much hardship and heartache that our kids are going to experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHappiness is just an emotion that comes and goes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Fred:<\/strong> What does happiness look like? It\u2019s kind of difficult to answer. It\u2019s kind of this ephemeral\u2014\u201cI want them to feel good. I want them to be successful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> Therefore, I\u2019ve got to have my kids, kind of, on this fast-track to being in a corner office somewhere by the age of 25; instead of going\u2014\u201cWhere is this child? What is their bent? What is the way in which I should train them up?\u201d I\u2019m now putting them in situations in which they are not flourishing; they\u2019re floundering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> Then, as parents, we measure our success or failure\u2014\u201cI didn\u2019t get them into enough lessons. I didn\u2019t start them early enough. If I started\u2014because look on Facebook, that kid\u2014he started when he was two; and now, he has a full-ride scholarship, and he\u2019s going to play in the NFL. His life is set up forever.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do that to ourselves constantly; but when we measure our parenting on a scale of\u2014\u201cIs he in the top of his class, is he the best on his team?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we without knowing it have become legalists. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> Right here in Palo Alto, there are some train tracks. On these train tracks, there is a tent set up\u2014just off the train tracks\u2014with a police officer. I said to my executive pastor, \u201cWhat is this?\u201d He goes\u2014\u201cWell, they\u2019ve had a rash of 10 \/ 11 \/ 12 year old kids throwing themselves in front of trains; and it\u2019s because their parents are pushing them too hard. So, they realize a B or a C isn\u2019t going to cut it; and the only alternative is\u2014these 10 \/ 11 \/ 12 year old kids have in their thinking is death.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, that is Bryan Loritts along with Phil Vischer and Fred Mach, Ann Wilson, Tim Kimmel. The goal of parenting is not to press our kids too hard, and it\u2019s not to make them happy. We have to know clearly what it is God\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014calling us to as we raise the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A couple\u2014a mom and dad\u2014have to be one. They have to be in agreement about what the goal and the objective is. Otherwise, they could be pulling the child in opposite directions. I sat there listening to Bryan\u2019s comment about having a police tent near the railroad tracks\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because 11 and 12 year old kids are killing themselves. I mean children need parents\u2014period\u2014but they need us to be parents, not their buddies, not their best friend. I\u2019m not saying we shouldn\u2019t be friends with our kids, but that\u2019s not the primary goal of parenting. It\u2019s to train your child and to equip them and to protect them from the world they\u2019ve got to live their lives in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Continuing in Session 1 of FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>, Phil Vischer, Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, again, along with Susan Yates, and Jessica Thompson talk about where our focus ought to be as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpts from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> In management, they say, you get the behavior you reward. If people get applause in your family because they won the big game or got straight-A\u2019s, then, that is the culture you\u2019ve shaped. So, you want to back up and say, \u201cWhat do I actually want to reward?\u201d It\u2019s a different set of values. Kingdom values are a different set of values. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> If you start out your job knowing how long this kid is going to live and keep that in mind at all times, everything changes. I happen to know how long every kid lives. They live forever. You need to raise your kid with eternity in mind. When you do, then, all these other things\u2014these B-priorities\u2014which are very important priorities\u2014feeding them and clothing them and educating them and all that stuff\u2014I think they are done far more effectively and in balance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> Raising kids in America, if I do nothing intentional, I am going to release into this culture narcissistic, entitled individuals who think the world revolves around them. Trying to create an other-centered view of life,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I think is really what we\u2019re trying to get at here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> This begins at a very early age. It begins at the dinner table: \u201cWho was somebody in your class today that\u2019s maybe feeling a little bit lonely or whose family is going through a hard time? How can you care for that person in your class?\u201d\u00a0 We always want to be thinking other. This is a great thing you can do together as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> The A-priority of a parent is to connect to the heart of a child, in such a way, that makes it easy for that child to connect to the heart of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> If we want to expose our kids to God, we need to view them like God views them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jessica:<\/strong> He welcomes the son who was the prodigal who ran away. He runs to greet him. Then, you have the self-righteous, older brother outside; and he says, \u201cCome into the party too\u201d; right? That heart toward both is what we need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Really two themes coming through there from Jessica Thompson and Susan Yates, Tim Kimmel, Bryan Loritts, Phil Vischer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the themes are need to raise kids to be others-centered and to be connected to God. You need to teach them to love God and love your neighbor. I\u2019ve heard that somewhere before; haven\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What I\u2019d say is, it\u2019s connecting them to God that will help them be others-centered\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because as they relate to God, He is perfectly capable of using you as a parent and using any number of circumstances to humble your child and help him realize there is a God, and it\u2019s not him. Children need parents to realize that the universe does not\u2014<em>does not<\/em>\u2014circle around them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s easy\u2014in fact, it\u2019s probably natural for a home to become child-centered when a child comes into the home. Moms and dads have to be intentional and purposeful to say, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to have this home centered around our child. Our child is a welcome member of the family but not the center of the universe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s why a date-night between a mom and a dad, getting away from the kids, is really important just to recalibrate as a couple and go\u2014\u201cYou know what? We\u2019re in charge here. We may not feel like it a good bit of the time, but we\u2019re in charge. We need to be taking each of our children in the direction that God wants them to go. We know that God wants them to love Him first and foremost.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The date-night\u2014you bring that up\u2014it\u2019s one of the key things we talk about in Session 1 of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. What kids need most from a mom and dad is for Mom and Dad to have a strong, healthy marriage relationship. We\u2019re going to hear about that from, again, Tim Kimmel and Susan Yates but also Eric and Erikah Rivera, Ron Deal, Alex and Stephen Kendrick, Dave and Ann Wilson, Bryan Loritts, Phil Vischer, and Jessica Thompson. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s quite a lineup, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is quite a lineup here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpts from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> You know there was a time when Darcy and I stood before some people, and we married each other. We were basically making a commitment to start writing a love story. So, a love story is just like a novel. It has chapters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, a chapter came along called Karis, then Cody, then Shiloh, and Cole. These four children became part of this story we were telling, but we knew for us to do the best we could for them their story must always be insubordination to our story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> It\u2019s so easy in our culture today for us to put our kids first. We want to be good parents; and what can happen\u2014and it can be very subtle\u2014is that you put your marriage on hold. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erikah:<\/strong> We tell our kids that Mommy and Papi\u2014we\u2019re a team, and you can\u2019t break up this team. I think that that brings about security in them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> We all know couples in first marriages can give their marriage away to their kids; but when kids preceded the marriage\u2014like in a blended family situation\u2014couples have got to work even harder at making their marriage a priority so they can lead from a position of unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alex:<\/strong> As your kids grow, if they see or even sense\u2014\u201cYou know what? My mom and dad might love each other, but I\u2019m the\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cimportant one here, and Mom will break with Dad to meet my need.\u201d What\u2019s going to happen when they become adults? That track record is going to continue to their children, and that\u2019s harmful on the marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> So, after the children come, many times the mom is pouring into the child; Dad goes back to work a lot of times. He\u2019s prioritizing work, and the husband has to be very careful that he is not overly selfish. It\u2019s somewhat important for him to take a sacrificial attitude; but yet, it\u2019s also important for the wife to remember the marriage is the bigger priority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jessica:<\/strong> My husband and I have been married 21 years this year. As we talk about those earlier years, he did feel neglected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Eric:<\/strong> I remember the temptations with a newborn child\u2014feeling resentful toward him, like\u2014\u201cYou took my wife away\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jessica:<\/strong> So, those early years are hard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that we struggled through that, but what we figured out is we had to have a date-night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> I\u2019m a big believer in continuing to date your spouse throughout your marriage and telling the kids,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re getting a sitter tonight, and I\u2019m going to go prioritize Mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I felt like it was my responsibility to get the sitters \/ to take care of that so she didn\u2019t have to think about it. Date-nights every week\u2014it took\u2014not kidding\u201490 minutes for her to show up across the table at that dinner table. She was there, but she wasn\u2019t there because her heart was with those children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> This is not a time to talk about whatever hot issue you have because then neither one of you is going to want to go out. It\u2019s going to be a real downer. Date-night is reserved for building a friendship\u2014that friendship that brought you together in the first place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s just healthy for them to know you\u2019re not the center of our world. In fact, on the pecking order, you\u2019re about number three. There\u2019s God; there\u2019s my wife Korie; then, there is you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil:<\/strong> A healthy marriage creates the context for healthy parenting which creates the context for happy kids. So, if you want happy kids, swim upstream. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWork on good parenting and swim upstream from that and work on a good marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Don\u2019t you love getting parenting advice from Bob the Tomato? [Laughter] That was Phil Vischer along with Bryan Loritts and Dave and Ann Wilson, Jessica Thompson, Stephen and Alex Kendrick, Ron Deal, Eric and Erikah Rivera, Susan Yates, Tim Kimmel\u2014great lineup of folks making the point\u2014and it\u2019s a solid point\u2014\u201cYour marriage has got to be strong if you want healthy kids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The point of going through the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> with other couples is letting them rub off on you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and give you courage to make your marriage priority; to make your convictions clearer and strong; and then to do what you said you\u2019re going to do because I think kids have a way of wearing us down \/ wearing us out, and we just kind of cave in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you go through this material from the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014we\u2019re listening to Session 1 today\u2014when you go through it with other couples, if you go through it with older couples, you have mentors there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the points we make in Session 1 is that parents need mentors. In fact, we\u2019re going to hear about that from Alistair Begg, Bryan and Korie Loritts, and Stephen Kendrick. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> Well, you know, when you are young as parents\u2014unless you\u2019ve been well parented yourself\u2014you really have very little framework. I mean you can read books, but I suppose I just speak in passing to the importance of good role models and surrounding ourselves as young parents with people that we admire and who have, apparently, done a good job on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see moms with one of these here and one there and another one there at the absolute limit of their emotions\u2014tyrannized and without any mechanism in their framework of existence in order to handle the situation. The Bible answers that: \u201cGood models of older people can help those young couples distinguish between what is helpfully punitive\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if you like\u2014\u201cand what is reformative at the same time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I think one of the best things single parents can do is to try to recruit mentors and to be in social networks where you can find positive mentors who share your values. I think that way you can kind of fill in the gaps. One of my best friends in life\u2014he grew up in a very dysfunctional home, and his biological father wasn\u2019t around. My dad filled in those gaps. He did it for a lot of young men at our church. To see, decades later, the healthy trajectory that these individuals are on\u2014they all say, \u201cWe saw vision of what could be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Korie:<\/strong> I was definitely more rough around the edges when I was younger\u2014just the pain of divorce. To have a community to rally around these single parents and around these children that don\u2019t have a mom or a dad, it is important\u2014and to know that they are a part of something greater. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephen:<\/strong> It is so important that we look for someone who is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014further down the road than we are and is doing it right; and we\u2019re going to them; and we\u2019re saying, \u201cTell me what you\u2019ve learned. You\u2019re further along than I am.\u201d We don\u2019t have to learn everything the hard way; you know? We might as well learn from those that are doing it right and are further along than we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, from Session 1 of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>, the priority of mentors\u2014it\u2019s important for moms and dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Whether you\u2019re a nuclear family, a single parent, or a blended family\u2014all parents need mentors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That gets addressed in this series\u2014single parenting, blended families. Really the place we land in Session 1 is around the idea that what\u2019s most important for you as a mom and a dad is what you model as parents. We\u2019ll hear about that from Dave and Ann Wilson, Ron Deal, Alistair Begg, Kevin DeYoung, Bryan Loritts, and Tim Kimmel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think the greatest thing you can do for your kids spiritually to teach them is for us parents to walk with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Live it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that our kids\u2014they are not listening to us as much as watching us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Kids really need to see us connecting faith and life. So, you may be driving down the road one day. Your kid is sitting in the car, and you just start talking out loud about a decision that you\u2019ve been working on that last week. Maybe, it had to do with how you were going to spend your money on something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou decided to give it to somebody else or do something with it for somebody else rather than spending it on yourself\u2014something selfish. You\u2019re just talking out loud around this decision that your kids have no idea has been going on in the background of their life; and you\u2019re sharing all of that, and the point is you\u2019re showing them how faith connects to real life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> Those kinds of things in Scotland, we would say, is better felt than telt. There is a dimension to it. There is an ethos to it that is picked up on by the child that may take years for them to suddenly figure out\u2014\u201cWell, this is actually what was happening there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom the parental perspective, I think it\u2019s imperative to be purposeful in that way and authentic in that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kevin:<\/strong> If your kids learn from years and decades that they get up on Sunday morning and they go to church\u2014Mom and Dad brought them there\u2014that they pray before they go to bed, that they pray before meals, that they see Mom or Dad in the chair on the couch reading their Bible in the morning, and they learn how to do that. All those habits of grace are really important, and we can do it in a way that\u2019s legalistic and unhelpful; but hopefully, people see it modeled in their parents so that they develop it themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan:<\/strong> I\u2019m keenly aware that whatever perceptions they have of God at ages 25 \/ 30 \/ 40\u2014whatever\u2014I shaped that. I mean I have to own that. To me, that\u2019s one of the biggest, joyful burdens of parenting. I am hand-delivering them their perception of who God is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you\u2019re the first in your family history. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim:<\/strong> I think the thing that carries the most weight for the influence we could have for the Gospel is when they see us trust the God of the Gospel\u2014no matter what comes our way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, there you go\u2014a quick overview of Session 1 of our new <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series. What\u2019s the goal of parenting, the priority of marriage, the need for mentors, and what we model\u2014that\u2019s as important as anything we teach; isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is. Bob, what our listeners don\u2019t realize is you just touched the very top the iceberg here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There is a lot more underneath the waterline in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> including teaching your kids to have healthy relationships with God and with their siblings and with others who don\u2019t believe like them. Then, a second area is character: teaching your children to be wise and not be foolish;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014identity\u2014sexual, emotional, spiritual identity; and finally, mission: how you can train your children to be on mission in a culture today that, if they are not on mission\u2014if your kids don\u2019t know where they are going\u2014the culture is going to seduce them away\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014from God\u2019s mission for their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It seems to me that we really need to take just a minute here and say a big thank you, not only to the contributors who are a part of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series and the online course that we put together, but a really big thank you to the people who support this ministry. It\u2019s our friends \/ our donors who have made the movie this week that has been in theaters and now this new video series\u2014they\u2019ve made all of this possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fact that we can put this <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> course online for free is because folks believe in what FamilyLife is all about, and they want to see this message out to more people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, those of you who are not just regular listeners but supporters of this ministry\u2014\u201cThank you for making everything we\u2019re doing with the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> possible.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you are a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a donation or if you\u2019re not one of our monthly Legacy Partners, the people who are really the financial backbone for all that we\u2019re doing\u2014during the month of May, we\u2019re asking you to consider making a donation or becoming a Legacy Partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve had some friends who have made funds available as a matching gift. So, as our listeners are able to respond this month, your donations are going to be matched dollar for dollar up to the total amount of the matching gift. If you become a Legacy Partner this month and you make a first donation, not only will your donation be matched this month, but every donation you make for the next 12 months is also going to be matched dollar for dollar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re praying that God would raise up 300 new Legacy Partners during the month of May. Stop and think about that\u2014that\u2019s just six families in every state where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould you be one of those six families in your state and become one of our new legacy partners? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to having your donation matched, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for becoming a Legacy Partner,\u201d by sending you a certificate for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway that you can use for yourself or you can give as a gift. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information; or call and say, \u201cI\u2019d like to become a Legacy Partner.\u201d Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Our phone number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like more information about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014either the online course or FamilyLife\u2019s <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> DVD series for churches and small groups\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The information is available there. The kits are available, and you can sign up to start taking the online course immediately. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for joining us. Hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. Then, I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk with a woman who has done thousands of hours of counseling with people about intimacy issues in their marriage. We\u2019ll talk about the importance and the power of a healthy, intimate marriage relationship. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300227"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300227"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300227"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300227"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}