{"id":300205,"date":"2018-04-19T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-04-19T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/activities-and-speech\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:23","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:23","slug":"activities-and-speech","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/activities-and-speech\/","title":{"rendered":"Activities and Speech"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jen Wilkin explains how children raised to be followers of Christ should do and say things differently from their unbelieving peers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:55","filesize":"22.81M","filesize_raw":"23915169","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10350,2806],"tags":[4354,4353,4355],"podcast_series":[7209],"cwp_profile":[3337],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300205","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-digital-and-media-choices","category-spiritual-development","tag-leading-your-child-to-christ","tag-raising-children","tag-teaching-your-children","podcast_series-raising-alien-children","cwp_profile-jen-wilkin","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300205\/activities-and-speech","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300205\/activities-and-speech","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0SpQeaQBmf\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/activities-and-speech\/\">Activities and Speech<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/activities-and-speech\/embed\/#?secret=0SpQeaQBmf\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Activities and Speech&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0SpQeaQBmf\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you think about the issues that your kids are up against today, what immediately comes to mind? Jen Wilkin says, \u201cYou may be surprised at what the real answer is.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> When my freshman son started in high school, the high school counselor came out to talk to the parents. He asked if we knew what the number one thing that he saw children in the counseling office for at our high school. I promise you every parent in the room thought he was going to say drugs and alcohol. He said, \u201c\u2026depression and anxiety related to exhaustion and overscheduling.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Are you in tune with what are the real challenges your son or daughter may be facing? We\u2019re going to hear more from Jen Wilkin today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, you stop and think about life as we raise our kids. It is so easy to be conformed to cultural thinking about what\u2019s the right thing to do, as parents. You\u2019ve been quoting Romans 12:1-2 a lot in recent days, where it says: \u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to this world. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As parents, we really need to be asking the question: \u201cWhat\u2019s our goal in parenting? Is it to help our kids fit in with the culture?\u201d or \u201cIs it to have kids who understand their purpose in this culture?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and I\u2019ve been looking forward to asking you this question, Bob\u2014you just completed a movie called <em>Like Arrows<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and just given the fact that the theme on today\u2019s broadcast is raising your child to be an <em>alien<\/em> in the world\u2014[Laughter]\u2014did you give any thought to calling the <em>Like Arrows <\/em>movement <em>Aliens<\/em>? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We stayed away from <em>E.T., the Extraterrestrial<\/em>. We decided to stay\u2014all the good alien names were already taken. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo; we sat down to tell a story\u2014a parenting story\u2014that would take you right into the reality of moms and dads. We wanted moms and dads who are\u2014you know, they are going to church, and they\u2019re a part of the community\u2014but they really don\u2019t have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Their kids were not aliens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014they don\u2019t have God at the center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Their kids were fitting into the culture <em>way<\/em> too much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mom and dad recognized that, at some point, in the film. By the way, this film is going to be in movie theaters two nights coming up, May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. It\u2019s only there on a Tuesday night and a Thursday night. So, this is not one of those, where you can say, \u201cHey, we\u2019ll go next week and see it.\u201d No; you\u2019ve got to go either Tuesday, May 1<sup>st<\/sup>, or Thursday, May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014one showing only each night at 7 o\u2019clock. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014see the trailer for the movie and find out where it\u2019s going to be in a theater near you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re hoping lots of moms and dads will get lots of their friends\u2014we\u2019d love to see packed-out theaters those two night; because we hope this movie will be the beginning of a movement of what is desperately needed in this culture, which is what we\u2019re going to hear about today\u2014a different approach to thinking when it comes to parenting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re going to be hearing from Jen Wilkin. She is an author; she is a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twife \/ a mom to four kids. She spoke at the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission\u2019s Parenting Conference, which I, also, had the privilege of speaking at. I think she\u2019s on target with her theme that we\u2019re going to be listening to today\u2014the theme of training your children to be aliens in a world that is going to be hostile. If they truly embrace following Jesus Christ, your children are going to need to know how to suffer for being, not weird, but being different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014countercultural. The first area she\u2019s going to address in Part Two of the message today is the area of activities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s Jen Wilkin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Okay; so, activities: \u201cThe alien child is going to spend his or her time differently than the child of the unbeliever.\u201d Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says this\u2014we\u2019ve heard it several times at the conference. Let\u2019s just sit under it one more time and see what we can pull from it\u2014it says: \u201cAnd these words that I command you today shall be on your hearts. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s interesting; isn\u2019t it?\u2014because the author of Deuteronomy seems to think that there will actually be times where we sit in our house together, seems to think there will be times where we walk by the way together, when we lie down together, and when we rise up together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis passage assumes a natural rhythm of the home that is bringing the family <em>together<\/em> versus spreading the family out. I think that, here, we see a charge to evaluate with any schedule decision the cost versus benefit associated with it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen my oldest child started high school\u2014my kids went to public school all the way through\u2014stay with me homeschoolers; it\u2019s going to be okay. They went all the way through; and when my freshman son started in high school, the high school counselor came out to talk to the parents. He asked if we knew what the number one thing that he saw children in the counseling office for at our high school. It\u2019s a big public high school, and I promise you\u2014every parent in the room thought that he was going to say drugs and alcohol. Do you know what he said? He said, \u201c\u2026depression and anxiety related to exhaustion and overscheduling.\u201d That was the number one thing that he saw. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat means that, as parents of Christian children\u2014we are Christian parents of children, who we are praying will become Christians at some point\u2014we\u2019re going to make some hard decisions around how we\u2019re going to choose activities. We\u2019re going to do some math that other people aren\u2019t doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know how this works; right?\u2014like you have the two-year-old. He\u2019s basically just learned to walk, and you hear that everybody is signing up for a gymnastics class. What do you do? You\u2019re like: \u201cOh! We\u2019ve got to do that. That\u2019s what everybody is doing.\u201d You put him in the class. He\u2019s just learned to walk; so, obviously, a cartwheel is what is next. [Laughter] You pay whatever they want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLittle Jimmy spends his semester out there, toddling around, doing whatever. At the end of the class\u2014well, about a week or two before\u2014the coach is going to come up to you. What is the coach going to say? \u201cYou know what Mrs. Wilkin? Little Jimmy is showing real talent. I mean, I think there might be something here. He\u2019s really getting it. He\u2019s coming along great, but you know what Little Jimmy is going to need?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cprivate lessons,\u201d\u2014you know. We\u2019re like: \u201cMy little Jimmy?! [Laughter] He\u2019s going to the Olympics?! [Laughter] I knew it! I knew\u2014like I knew when he started walking\u2014I could see; I could see!\u201d Then, what do you do? You start writing the checks and writing the checks and devoting the time to it; right? We get sucked in\u2014why? We\u2019ve heard exactly what we\u2019re hoping for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we need to understand\u2014like when you were a kid, were there as many activities to get involved in? No; my mom was like: \u201cGo play sticks. Don\u2019t burn anything down.\u201d [Laughter] There are so many things that our children can get involved in. Do you know why?\u2014cash money \/ suburban affluence. People are making <em>millions<\/em> of dollars off our desire to have a famous child, and we walk into it willingly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to be a little discerning about the choices we are making with regard to this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some questions that you can ask yourself\u2014you can ask yourself: \u201cIs this an activity\u2026\u201d or \u201cIs our activity level something that is helping our family or hurting our family?\u201d\u00a0 One of the things I think parents miss out a lot on with this is they fail to recognize the <em>collective<\/em> effect of everybody\u2019s activities on the family as a whole. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had four kids in four years. Can you imagine what my life would have been like if everybody was out there having three or four activities a week? We would have never been home, and that\u2019s kind of a key point; right?\u2014because one of the things with activities\u2014that you have to keep an eye on\u2014is whether they\u2019re sabotaging the regular rhythms of the home to a point that we\u2019re not able to train our children as we ought to\u2014things like family dinner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it\u2019s not that you might <em>never<\/em> miss a family dinner for an activity; but if family dinner is habitually missed or almost always missed, you\u2019re actually putting your kids into a risk category\u2014people have told us: \u201cFamilies that sit down for family dinner, at least, four nights a week\u2014their children are far less likely to get involved in drugs, and alcohol, and other risky behaviors,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014four nights a week to have family together at home. Check that out for a second\u2014if you\u2019re thinking of ways that you want to be countercultural, family dinner may be the most countercultural thing that you could do. So, when we\u2019re looking at which activities we do, we have to weigh them by different measures than other families might. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, because we had four children so close in age, we had a rule: \u201cYou could do one thing, or you could do no things\u2014one or none.\u201d Doesn\u2019t it sound fun to live at my house? [Laughter] A lot of times, they would choose to do the one thing; and then, they might do nothing for a while. I had one of the four kids, who chose \u201cnone\u201d every time\u2014none, none, none, none, none. Other parents were like: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening there? Are you going to push him toward anything?\u201d We were like, \u201cI don\u2019t think so!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat would happen was\u2014I began to see this pattern\u2014he would\u2014we would be somewhere, and an adult would come up to him and they\u2019d say, \u201cHi, Calvin, what do you do?\u201d \u201cCalvin does not have a profession.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what we [adults] do; right?\u2014like you go, \u201cDo you play baseball?\u201d Calvin\u2019s like, \u201cNope.\u201d \u201cDo you gymnastics?\u201d\u2014and he\u2019s the fourth kid; right? So, we\u2019re not looking for more things to pay for at the point he comes along. [Laughter] He\u2019s like, \u201cI read books.\u201d He <em>never<\/em> took on one of these activities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we have bought into the idea that, if your child isn\u2019t out there trying every single thing, maybe, they won\u2019t turn into the fully-formed person that they are supposed to be. But I have, at least, a sample of <em>one<\/em> to tell you that that\u2019s not the case. He ended up teaching himself the guitar\u2014he discovered a love of music. He\u2019s still an avid reader. He is a <em>great<\/em> kid. He\u2019s not an NBA superstar; but when I watch the lives of those people, I wonder why we ask that for our children at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; so we said, \u201c\u2026one or none\u201d\u2014that was our rule. You probably don\u2019t have to be that conservative with it, because you may have fewer children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s on you\u2014you figure that out for yourself, but we have to be running these things through a different filter than other people. So: \u201cDoes it impinge upon our ability to be together as a family?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know that whole thing about \u201cWhat do you do, little Calvin?\u201d\u2014if you\u2019ve noticed, often times, in our families, everybody has their own sort of activity identity: dad\u2019s a golfer; mom sells essential oils, for example, just guessing\u2014and I\u2019m good by the way, but thanks\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Jimmy plays baseball; Susie does dance; right? Everybody has this identity that revolves around the activity that they are in; but what\u2019s happening is\u2014because we have these activities, we are moving this direction [apart] from each other instead of moving this direction [toward] each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs your children grow older, you\u2019re going to want them to sense that home is their primary place of belonging. You\u2019re going to want them to not feel like the soccer team is the place where they can share all of their deepest secrets. You want home to be that place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you\u2019re going to want them to be drawn there. You\u2019re not going to want them there all the time; right?\u2014amen. But you\u2019re going to want them to see the home as the place where they can come and be themselves, and you want it to be a place that you are spending a lot of time together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Activities are tough. The other issue is that, when you have multiple children and multiple activities, you tend to think: \u201cWell, this is just what Jimmy is involved in,\u201d \/ \u201cThis is just what Susie is involved in\u201d; but it\u2019s never that; right? The things that we\u2019re involved in are always impacting everybody else who is in the family. We have to weigh this combined cost because: maybe, Jimmy\u2019s practice is during dinner; but someone\u2019s got to take him there; or if Susie is on a travel team, we\u2019re going to divide and conquer\u2014someone is going to go and be over here \/ the rest of us are going to be over here. It\u2019s not that you don\u2019t do those things; but you\u2019re keeping a tab on \u201cWhat is the cost to the family as a whole?\u201d Why?\u2014because the alien child doesn\u2019t get involved in activities the way that other children do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about how quality time is something that we want with our children. A lot of times, when we\u2019re extra-busy, we tell ourselves: \u201cWell, yes; but I have a lot of quality time with them; so it\u2019s good.\u201d I think we all can acknowledge that the reality of quality time is that it is a function of quantity time\u2014so the more time we spend running apart from each other, the less chance that there is we are going to have the stretches of time that are necessary for these times to bubble up, where we have the important conversations. I could do a whole 45 minutes just on scheduling, but we\u2019re going to keep moving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond, speech: \u201cAn alien child will not sound like other children.\u201d The alien child learns kind words. If you have spent any time in a schoolroom, you know that kind words are also a countercultural thing. Children grow up on a diet of snark, and cynicism, and sarcasm\u2014snark, sarcasm, and cynicism\u2014the three s\u2019s of tough speech. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m kidding\u2014I know cynicism starts with a \u201cC\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I\u2019m pretty sure it does. They see it on TV; they hear it from their friends. Guess where the last place it should be that it comes up?\u2014it should be at home; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis was a tough one for me. You can tell I have a fully-orbed sense of humor. I grew up in a home where sarcasm was our love language. I married a man who is kind and soft-spoken. In the early years of our marriage, it did not go well in that regard. The idea that we could raise children without those things was foreign to me; and he told me, \u201cIn our home, my mother made a rule that we were not allowed to tease each other.\u201d I sat there and stared at him\u2014I said, \u201cWhat did you talk about at the dinner table?\u201d [Laughter] He grew up with a more beautiful vision for family in that sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to learn not to employ the methods that were comfortable to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know why? Because as your kid gets older, the speech that is coming out from them toward you is usually the speech that you have directed at them for all of the years until they got bold enough to dish it back. So, if my children were going to use sarcasm \/ if they were going to use mockery or teasing, it had better had come from their peer group and not from me. They are going to know how to use kind words. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe disarmed sarcasm in teaching. Sarcasm is a form of verbal bullying. Sarcasm always has a victim. If you pay attention to the way that you use it, you will realize that someone else is always paying the bill for your humor when you employ it. How terrible if we are to employ it in our relationships with our children, who already are at a verbal disadvantage just by their developmental abilities. Sarcasm cannot be part of the vocabulary of the Christian home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, there are plenty of other ways to be funny. You can use irony. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you can be self-deprecating. I can make fun of me all day long because I get the joke; but we have to be so careful, especially with children\u2014who are concrete, and are learning, and developing\u2014that we use language that is accessible to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou train your children in kind words. When other children are unkind to them\u2014we sent our kids to school with this instruction: \u201cIf someone is mean to you, look them in the eye and say, \u2018That\u2019s not kind,\u2019 and walk away.\u201d That goes over great in the locker room; right? [Laughter] Here\u2019s the thing\u2014it\u2019s speaking the truth. It\u2019s keeping it from being personal, and it gives them a way to walk away from this situation without sinning with their own speech. They didn\u2019t always do it right, but we\u2019re not in the business of locking our children into always doing right things. We are trying to give them language\u2014we\u2019re trying to give them a script so that, over time, they learn to employ it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlien children use pure words; so when the swear words start coming home from school, what do you do? I remember this so clearly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember Matt coming home from school and saying, \u201cMom, I learned the \u201cs\u201d-word today.\u201d You\u2019re like: \u201cOkay; honey, what is the \u2018s\u2019-word? I mean, I know it; but why don\u2019t you just tell me what it is?\u201d What did he say?\u2014\u201cStupid.\u201d \u201cOh, okay; alright. Of course, that\u2019s the \u2018s\u2019-word.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe comes home a few weeks later and says, \u201cMom, I learned the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word\u201d; and you\u2019re like: \u201cCome on! Okay; well, I know the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI think I know the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word,\u201d\u2014\u201cWhat is the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word?\u201d He says, \u201cShut up.\u201d \u201cYes; that\u2019s a bad one. Shut up is a bad word, honey.\u201d Over time, he begins to bring home the real words\u2014the ones that you\u2019re like\u2014\u201cMan, I really didn\u2019t want you to know that yet.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe decided that we would defuse the swearing by taking away the forbiddance of it a little bit; right? What we did is\u2014we would say: \u201cHey, you know what? There is not a word you can bring home that I won\u2019t know. You bring it home; we\u2019ll trot it out; and I\u2019ll tell you whether I knew it or not. Then, we\u2019ll\u201d\u2014then, we would talk about what it meant and why people use it the way that they do. We would say it out loud a few times, and we\u2019d laugh about it. It totally took all of the bite out of it; it took all the mystery out of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt began doing something really important\u2014it began setting up Jeff and me as the source of all knowledge; right? Honestly, kids think we don\u2019t know anything. They think that what gets talked about at the lunch table is like this sacred space that their parents have no idea about. You need to set yourself up as the expert on all things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember telling Matt: \u201cYou have brought me many terrible words, but you have not brought me the mother of all swear words.\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cWhat\u2019s the mother of all swear words?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I will tell you when you bring it home.\u201d [Laughter] He rose to the challenge. He brought me some words that were scorchers\u2014I mean, I\u2019m like, \u201cYes; I know that one too, and that\u2019s not it!\u201d He got all the way to his sophomore year of high school before he finally brought it home, and that\u2019s all I\u2019m going to say about that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe diffuse the allure around those kinds of words by just taking their power away by having the conversation around them. We point them instead toward fruit of the Spirit speech; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014speech that is loving, that is joyful, that is patient, [and] that is kind. All of those things are the kinds of speech we try to cultivate in our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe teach them reconciling words. We teach them how to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d and \u201cI forgive you.\u201d There\u2019s been a lot of discussion around that\u2014like: \u201cIs it okay to train a child in that language when they don\u2019t yet feel remorse?\u201d Anybody seen this one?\u2014you know: \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d \u201cNo; you\u2019re really not.\u201d Yes; absolutely train them in the language of reconciliation in the hope that the right motive will attach itself at the right time. You train them to say, \u201cPlease,\u201d and \u201cThank you,\u201d before they are pleased or thankful. You train them to say, \u201cMa\u2019am,\u201d or \u201cSir.\u201d You are giving them tools to be able to be good citizens and, ultimately, we pray, good Christians. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive them words of reconciliation. Give them words of prayer. Model prayer for them in the home. Let them be children who, when they go into a hostile environment, know that even, if they don\u2019t have the right words to say back to someone who is being unkind, they can direct their words heavenward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to Part Two of a message from Jen Wilkin about parenting. We\u2019re going to hear Part Three of that message still ahead this week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou modeled prayer in your home as you took your kids to school\u2014most days, you prayed in the car on the way to school; didn\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I did. Barbara and I just finished writing a book called <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. It\u2019s going to be out coming in late-August \/ early-September. One of the things we asked our kids to do, Bob, is\u2014we asked them to contribute\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to the book? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014not money\u2014a story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. [Laughter] You know what? We could have used the money contributed too; but they wrote their snapshot of some of the memories that they recall, growing up. I\u2019m not going to share it today, because I\u2019m going to save it for when I can read it to our listeners. Our daughter, Deborah, who is raising two little girls right now\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she wrote about how she recalled that prayer that I prayed as we drove to school\u2014I didn\u2019t close my eyes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But I often wondered, \u201cAre they listening?\u201d I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014when I got her piece that she wrote back, I actually got a little teary\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because it was like, \u201cShe was really listening back there,\u201d even though they don\u2019t pay attention to pay attention at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to encourage parents: \u201cIf you\u2019re not praying, as you take your kids to school,\u201d\u2014and by the way, I don\u2019t know what kind of things need to occur in the culture today to warn you, and to exhort you, and to create a sense of urgency in you to cry out to God to protect your kids\u2014to help them be educated with the right kind of education and to help them withstand peer pressure. I\u2019ll tell you\u2014this is\u2014we are taking our children into a battleground. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd by the way, you may say, \u201cWell, my kids are in a private school,\u201d or \u201cMy kids are in a Christian school,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026homeschool.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026homeschool,\u201d\u2014and you may say, \u201cWe\u2019re exempt.\u201d Wrong! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re not exempt. Prayer is a <em>great<\/em> weapon in spiritual battle\u2014read it in Ephesians, Chapter 6. Prayer is a great weapon to ask God to use to protect your children as they go into their battle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mentioned the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, that\u2019s going to be in theaters, May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. There are a couple of scenes in the movie that make this point. There is one at kind of a pivotal point in this family\u2019s life, where prayer becomes more central to what\u2019s going on for them. Then, there is a scene where mom and dad get some news; and this is news that they can\u2019t do anything to control or they can\u2019t do anything to change. The only option for them is to pray. It\u2019s a moving scene, where mom and dad sit down at the kitchen table, and they ask God to do what they can\u2019t do, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope our listeners are going to join us May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup> at their local theater for the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>\u2014two showings only\u20147 o\u2019clock Tuesday night \/ 7 o\u2019clock Thursday night. It\u2019s going to be in more than 800 theaters across the country. I know some of the theaters are already sold out. Thank you for getting advance tickets. You might want to go online now and make sure that you can still get tickets for either of the two showings\u2014May 1<sup>st<\/sup> or May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014at your local theater. Again, it is two nights only. So, if you want to join us for <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, be sure to check it out online. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link for <em>Like Arrows<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, <em>FamilyLife\u2019s Art of Parenting\u2122<\/em> video series comes out on May 1<sup>st<\/sup> as well. If you\u2019re interested in pre-ordering the series, you can save\u2014I think it is $50\u2014by pre-ordering. You\u2019ll get the DVD kit, along with the workbook, and a voucher so you can get a copy of the <em>Like Arrows<\/em> movie when it\u2019s available on DVD. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for information about pre-ordering <em>FamilyLife\u2019s<\/em> <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series. This is something you could do with a small group or as a church class. Again, find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear more from Jen Wilkin about how we raise alien children\u2014children that don\u2019t have the same value system as the culture in which they live. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:24:55"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.81M"],"filesize_raw":["23915169"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300205.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300205.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Wilkin explains how children raised to be followers of Christ should do and say things differently from their unbelieving peers.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you think about the issues that your kids are up against today, what immediately comes to mind? Jen Wilkin says, \u201cYou may be surprised at what the real answer is.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> When my freshman son started in high school, the high school counselor came out to talk to the parents. He asked if we knew what the number one thing that he saw children in the counseling office for at our high school. I promise you every parent in the room thought he was going to say drugs and alcohol. He said, \u201c\u2026depression and anxiety related to exhaustion and overscheduling.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Are you in tune with what are the real challenges your son or daughter may be facing? We\u2019re going to hear more from Jen Wilkin today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, you stop and think about life as we raise our kids. It is so easy to be conformed to cultural thinking about what\u2019s the right thing to do, as parents. You\u2019ve been quoting Romans 12:1-2 a lot in recent days, where it says: \u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to this world. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As parents, we really need to be asking the question: \u201cWhat\u2019s our goal in parenting? Is it to help our kids fit in with the culture?\u201d or \u201cIs it to have kids who understand their purpose in this culture?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and I\u2019ve been looking forward to asking you this question, Bob\u2014you just completed a movie called <em>Like Arrows<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and just given the fact that the theme on today\u2019s broadcast is raising your child to be an <em>alien<\/em> in the world\u2014[Laughter]\u2014did you give any thought to calling the <em>Like Arrows <\/em>movement <em>Aliens<\/em>? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We stayed away from <em>E.T., the Extraterrestrial<\/em>. We decided to stay\u2014all the good alien names were already taken. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo; we sat down to tell a story\u2014a parenting story\u2014that would take you right into the reality of moms and dads. We wanted moms and dads who are\u2014you know, they are going to church, and they\u2019re a part of the community\u2014but they really don\u2019t have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Their kids were not aliens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014they don\u2019t have God at the center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Their kids were fitting into the culture <em>way<\/em> too much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mom and dad recognized that, at some point, in the film. By the way, this film is going to be in movie theaters two nights coming up, May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. It\u2019s only there on a Tuesday night and a Thursday night. So, this is not one of those, where you can say, \u201cHey, we\u2019ll go next week and see it.\u201d No; you\u2019ve got to go either Tuesday, May 1<sup>st<\/sup>, or Thursday, May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014one showing only each night at 7 o\u2019clock. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014see the trailer for the movie and find out where it\u2019s going to be in a theater near you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re hoping lots of moms and dads will get lots of their friends\u2014we\u2019d love to see packed-out theaters those two night; because we hope this movie will be the beginning of a movement of what is desperately needed in this culture, which is what we\u2019re going to hear about today\u2014a different approach to thinking when it comes to parenting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019re going to be hearing from Jen Wilkin. She is an author; she is a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twife \/ a mom to four kids. She spoke at the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission\u2019s Parenting Conference, which I, also, had the privilege of speaking at. I think she\u2019s on target with her theme that we\u2019re going to be listening to today\u2014the theme of training your children to be aliens in a world that is going to be hostile. If they truly embrace following Jesus Christ, your children are going to need to know how to suffer for being, not weird, but being different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014countercultural. The first area she\u2019s going to address in Part Two of the message today is the area of activities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s Jen Wilkin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Okay; so, activities: \u201cThe alien child is going to spend his or her time differently than the child of the unbeliever.\u201d Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says this\u2014we\u2019ve heard it several times at the conference. Let\u2019s just sit under it one more time and see what we can pull from it\u2014it says: \u201cAnd these words that I command you today shall be on your hearts. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s interesting; isn\u2019t it?\u2014because the author of Deuteronomy seems to think that there will actually be times where we sit in our house together, seems to think there will be times where we walk by the way together, when we lie down together, and when we rise up together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis passage assumes a natural rhythm of the home that is bringing the family <em>together<\/em> versus spreading the family out. I think that, here, we see a charge to evaluate with any schedule decision the cost versus benefit associated with it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen my oldest child started high school\u2014my kids went to public school all the way through\u2014stay with me homeschoolers; it\u2019s going to be okay. They went all the way through; and when my freshman son started in high school, the high school counselor came out to talk to the parents. He asked if we knew what the number one thing that he saw children in the counseling office for at our high school. It\u2019s a big public high school, and I promise you\u2014every parent in the room thought that he was going to say drugs and alcohol. Do you know what he said? He said, \u201c\u2026depression and anxiety related to exhaustion and overscheduling.\u201d That was the number one thing that he saw. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat means that, as parents of Christian children\u2014we are Christian parents of children, who we are praying will become Christians at some point\u2014we\u2019re going to make some hard decisions around how we\u2019re going to choose activities. We\u2019re going to do some math that other people aren\u2019t doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know how this works; right?\u2014like you have the two-year-old. He\u2019s basically just learned to walk, and you hear that everybody is signing up for a gymnastics class. What do you do? You\u2019re like: \u201cOh! We\u2019ve got to do that. That\u2019s what everybody is doing.\u201d You put him in the class. He\u2019s just learned to walk; so, obviously, a cartwheel is what is next. [Laughter] You pay whatever they want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLittle Jimmy spends his semester out there, toddling around, doing whatever. At the end of the class\u2014well, about a week or two before\u2014the coach is going to come up to you. What is the coach going to say? \u201cYou know what Mrs. Wilkin? Little Jimmy is showing real talent. I mean, I think there might be something here. He\u2019s really getting it. He\u2019s coming along great, but you know what Little Jimmy is going to need?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cprivate lessons,\u201d\u2014you know. We\u2019re like: \u201cMy little Jimmy?! [Laughter] He\u2019s going to the Olympics?! [Laughter] I knew it! I knew\u2014like I knew when he started walking\u2014I could see; I could see!\u201d Then, what do you do? You start writing the checks and writing the checks and devoting the time to it; right? We get sucked in\u2014why? We\u2019ve heard exactly what we\u2019re hoping for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we need to understand\u2014like when you were a kid, were there as many activities to get involved in? No; my mom was like: \u201cGo play sticks. Don\u2019t burn anything down.\u201d [Laughter] There are so many things that our children can get involved in. Do you know why?\u2014cash money \/ suburban affluence. People are making <em>millions<\/em> of dollars off our desire to have a famous child, and we walk into it willingly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to be a little discerning about the choices we are making with regard to this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some questions that you can ask yourself\u2014you can ask yourself: \u201cIs this an activity\u2026\u201d or \u201cIs our activity level something that is helping our family or hurting our family?\u201d\u00a0 One of the things I think parents miss out a lot on with this is they fail to recognize the <em>collective<\/em> effect of everybody\u2019s activities on the family as a whole. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had four kids in four years. Can you imagine what my life would have been like if everybody was out there having three or four activities a week? We would have never been home, and that\u2019s kind of a key point; right?\u2014because one of the things with activities\u2014that you have to keep an eye on\u2014is whether they\u2019re sabotaging the regular rhythms of the home to a point that we\u2019re not able to train our children as we ought to\u2014things like family dinner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it\u2019s not that you might <em>never<\/em> miss a family dinner for an activity; but if family dinner is habitually missed or almost always missed, you\u2019re actually putting your kids into a risk category\u2014people have told us: \u201cFamilies that sit down for family dinner, at least, four nights a week\u2014their children are far less likely to get involved in drugs, and alcohol, and other risky behaviors,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014four nights a week to have family together at home. Check that out for a second\u2014if you\u2019re thinking of ways that you want to be countercultural, family dinner may be the most countercultural thing that you could do. So, when we\u2019re looking at which activities we do, we have to weigh them by different measures than other families might. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, because we had four children so close in age, we had a rule: \u201cYou could do one thing, or you could do no things\u2014one or none.\u201d Doesn\u2019t it sound fun to live at my house? [Laughter] A lot of times, they would choose to do the one thing; and then, they might do nothing for a while. I had one of the four kids, who chose \u201cnone\u201d every time\u2014none, none, none, none, none. Other parents were like: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening there? Are you going to push him toward anything?\u201d We were like, \u201cI don\u2019t think so!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat would happen was\u2014I began to see this pattern\u2014he would\u2014we would be somewhere, and an adult would come up to him and they\u2019d say, \u201cHi, Calvin, what do you do?\u201d \u201cCalvin does not have a profession.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what we [adults] do; right?\u2014like you go, \u201cDo you play baseball?\u201d Calvin\u2019s like, \u201cNope.\u201d \u201cDo you gymnastics?\u201d\u2014and he\u2019s the fourth kid; right? So, we\u2019re not looking for more things to pay for at the point he comes along. [Laughter] He\u2019s like, \u201cI read books.\u201d He <em>never<\/em> took on one of these activities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we have bought into the idea that, if your child isn\u2019t out there trying every single thing, maybe, they won\u2019t turn into the fully-formed person that they are supposed to be. But I have, at least, a sample of <em>one<\/em> to tell you that that\u2019s not the case. He ended up teaching himself the guitar\u2014he discovered a love of music. He\u2019s still an avid reader. He is a <em>great<\/em> kid. He\u2019s not an NBA superstar; but when I watch the lives of those people, I wonder why we ask that for our children at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; so we said, \u201c\u2026one or none\u201d\u2014that was our rule. You probably don\u2019t have to be that conservative with it, because you may have fewer children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s on you\u2014you figure that out for yourself, but we have to be running these things through a different filter than other people. So: \u201cDoes it impinge upon our ability to be together as a family?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know that whole thing about \u201cWhat do you do, little Calvin?\u201d\u2014if you\u2019ve noticed, often times, in our families, everybody has their own sort of activity identity: dad\u2019s a golfer; mom sells essential oils, for example, just guessing\u2014and I\u2019m good by the way, but thanks\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Jimmy plays baseball; Susie does dance; right? Everybody has this identity that revolves around the activity that they are in; but what\u2019s happening is\u2014because we have these activities, we are moving this direction [apart] from each other instead of moving this direction [toward] each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs your children grow older, you\u2019re going to want them to sense that home is their primary place of belonging. You\u2019re going to want them to not feel like the soccer team is the place where they can share all of their deepest secrets. You want home to be that place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you\u2019re going to want them to be drawn there. You\u2019re not going to want them there all the time; right?\u2014amen. But you\u2019re going to want them to see the home as the place where they can come and be themselves, and you want it to be a place that you are spending a lot of time together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Activities are tough. The other issue is that, when you have multiple children and multiple activities, you tend to think: \u201cWell, this is just what Jimmy is involved in,\u201d \/ \u201cThis is just what Susie is involved in\u201d; but it\u2019s never that; right? The things that we\u2019re involved in are always impacting everybody else who is in the family. We have to weigh this combined cost because: maybe, Jimmy\u2019s practice is during dinner; but someone\u2019s got to take him there; or if Susie is on a travel team, we\u2019re going to divide and conquer\u2014someone is going to go and be over here \/ the rest of us are going to be over here. It\u2019s not that you don\u2019t do those things; but you\u2019re keeping a tab on \u201cWhat is the cost to the family as a whole?\u201d Why?\u2014because the alien child doesn\u2019t get involved in activities the way that other children do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about how quality time is something that we want with our children. A lot of times, when we\u2019re extra-busy, we tell ourselves: \u201cWell, yes; but I have a lot of quality time with them; so it\u2019s good.\u201d I think we all can acknowledge that the reality of quality time is that it is a function of quantity time\u2014so the more time we spend running apart from each other, the less chance that there is we are going to have the stretches of time that are necessary for these times to bubble up, where we have the important conversations. I could do a whole 45 minutes just on scheduling, but we\u2019re going to keep moving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond, speech: \u201cAn alien child will not sound like other children.\u201d The alien child learns kind words. If you have spent any time in a schoolroom, you know that kind words are also a countercultural thing. Children grow up on a diet of snark, and cynicism, and sarcasm\u2014snark, sarcasm, and cynicism\u2014the three s\u2019s of tough speech. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m kidding\u2014I know cynicism starts with a \u201cC\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I\u2019m pretty sure it does. They see it on TV; they hear it from their friends. Guess where the last place it should be that it comes up?\u2014it should be at home; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis was a tough one for me. You can tell I have a fully-orbed sense of humor. I grew up in a home where sarcasm was our love language. I married a man who is kind and soft-spoken. In the early years of our marriage, it did not go well in that regard. The idea that we could raise children without those things was foreign to me; and he told me, \u201cIn our home, my mother made a rule that we were not allowed to tease each other.\u201d I sat there and stared at him\u2014I said, \u201cWhat did you talk about at the dinner table?\u201d [Laughter] He grew up with a more beautiful vision for family in that sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to learn not to employ the methods that were comfortable to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know why? Because as your kid gets older, the speech that is coming out from them toward you is usually the speech that you have directed at them for all of the years until they got bold enough to dish it back. So, if my children were going to use sarcasm \/ if they were going to use mockery or teasing, it had better had come from their peer group and not from me. They are going to know how to use kind words. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe disarmed sarcasm in teaching. Sarcasm is a form of verbal bullying. Sarcasm always has a victim. If you pay attention to the way that you use it, you will realize that someone else is always paying the bill for your humor when you employ it. How terrible if we are to employ it in our relationships with our children, who already are at a verbal disadvantage just by their developmental abilities. Sarcasm cannot be part of the vocabulary of the Christian home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, there are plenty of other ways to be funny. You can use irony. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you can be self-deprecating. I can make fun of me all day long because I get the joke; but we have to be so careful, especially with children\u2014who are concrete, and are learning, and developing\u2014that we use language that is accessible to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou train your children in kind words. When other children are unkind to them\u2014we sent our kids to school with this instruction: \u201cIf someone is mean to you, look them in the eye and say, \u2018That\u2019s not kind,\u2019 and walk away.\u201d That goes over great in the locker room; right? [Laughter] Here\u2019s the thing\u2014it\u2019s speaking the truth. It\u2019s keeping it from being personal, and it gives them a way to walk away from this situation without sinning with their own speech. They didn\u2019t always do it right, but we\u2019re not in the business of locking our children into always doing right things. We are trying to give them language\u2014we\u2019re trying to give them a script so that, over time, they learn to employ it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlien children use pure words; so when the swear words start coming home from school, what do you do? I remember this so clearly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember Matt coming home from school and saying, \u201cMom, I learned the \u201cs\u201d-word today.\u201d You\u2019re like: \u201cOkay; honey, what is the \u2018s\u2019-word? I mean, I know it; but why don\u2019t you just tell me what it is?\u201d What did he say?\u2014\u201cStupid.\u201d \u201cOh, okay; alright. Of course, that\u2019s the \u2018s\u2019-word.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe comes home a few weeks later and says, \u201cMom, I learned the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word\u201d; and you\u2019re like: \u201cCome on! Okay; well, I know the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m thinking, \u201cI think I know the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word,\u201d\u2014\u201cWhat is the \u2018s\u2019 \u2018h\u2019-word?\u201d He says, \u201cShut up.\u201d \u201cYes; that\u2019s a bad one. Shut up is a bad word, honey.\u201d Over time, he begins to bring home the real words\u2014the ones that you\u2019re like\u2014\u201cMan, I really didn\u2019t want you to know that yet.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe decided that we would defuse the swearing by taking away the forbiddance of it a little bit; right? What we did is\u2014we would say: \u201cHey, you know what? There is not a word you can bring home that I won\u2019t know. You bring it home; we\u2019ll trot it out; and I\u2019ll tell you whether I knew it or not. Then, we\u2019ll\u201d\u2014then, we would talk about what it meant and why people use it the way that they do. We would say it out loud a few times, and we\u2019d laugh about it. It totally took all of the bite out of it; it took all the mystery out of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt began doing something really important\u2014it began setting up Jeff and me as the source of all knowledge; right? Honestly, kids think we don\u2019t know anything. They think that what gets talked about at the lunch table is like this sacred space that their parents have no idea about. You need to set yourself up as the expert on all things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember telling Matt: \u201cYou have brought me many terrible words, but you have not brought me the mother of all swear words.\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cWhat\u2019s the mother of all swear words?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I will tell you when you bring it home.\u201d [Laughter] He rose to the challenge. He brought me some words that were scorchers\u2014I mean, I\u2019m like, \u201cYes; I know that one too, and that\u2019s not it!\u201d He got all the way to his sophomore year of high school before he finally brought it home, and that\u2019s all I\u2019m going to say about that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe diffuse the allure around those kinds of words by just taking their power away by having the conversation around them. We point them instead toward fruit of the Spirit speech; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014speech that is loving, that is joyful, that is patient, [and] that is kind. All of those things are the kinds of speech we try to cultivate in our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe teach them reconciling words. We teach them how to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d and \u201cI forgive you.\u201d There\u2019s been a lot of discussion around that\u2014like: \u201cIs it okay to train a child in that language when they don\u2019t yet feel remorse?\u201d Anybody seen this one?\u2014you know: \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d \u201cNo; you\u2019re really not.\u201d Yes; absolutely train them in the language of reconciliation in the hope that the right motive will attach itself at the right time. You train them to say, \u201cPlease,\u201d and \u201cThank you,\u201d before they are pleased or thankful. You train them to say, \u201cMa\u2019am,\u201d or \u201cSir.\u201d You are giving them tools to be able to be good citizens and, ultimately, we pray, good Christians. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive them words of reconciliation. Give them words of prayer. Model prayer for them in the home. Let them be children who, when they go into a hostile environment, know that even, if they don\u2019t have the right words to say back to someone who is being unkind, they can direct their words heavenward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to Part Two of a message from Jen Wilkin about parenting. We\u2019re going to hear Part Three of that message still ahead this week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou modeled prayer in your home as you took your kids to school\u2014most days, you prayed in the car on the way to school; didn\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I did. Barbara and I just finished writing a book called <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. It\u2019s going to be out coming in late-August \/ early-September. One of the things we asked our kids to do, Bob, is\u2014we asked them to contribute\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to the book? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014not money\u2014a story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. [Laughter] You know what? We could have used the money contributed too; but they wrote their snapshot of some of the memories that they recall, growing up. I\u2019m not going to share it today, because I\u2019m going to save it for when I can read it to our listeners. Our daughter, Deborah, who is raising two little girls right now\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she wrote about how she recalled that prayer that I prayed as we drove to school\u2014I didn\u2019t close my eyes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But I often wondered, \u201cAre they listening?\u201d I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014when I got her piece that she wrote back, I actually got a little teary\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because it was like, \u201cShe was really listening back there,\u201d even though they don\u2019t pay attention to pay attention at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to encourage parents: \u201cIf you\u2019re not praying, as you take your kids to school,\u201d\u2014and by the way, I don\u2019t know what kind of things need to occur in the culture today to warn you, and to exhort you, and to create a sense of urgency in you to cry out to God to protect your kids\u2014to help them be educated with the right kind of education and to help them withstand peer pressure. I\u2019ll tell you\u2014this is\u2014we are taking our children into a battleground. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd by the way, you may say, \u201cWell, my kids are in a private school,\u201d or \u201cMy kids are in a Christian school,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026homeschool.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026homeschool,\u201d\u2014and you may say, \u201cWe\u2019re exempt.\u201d Wrong! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re not exempt. Prayer is a <em>great<\/em> weapon in spiritual battle\u2014read it in Ephesians, Chapter 6. Prayer is a great weapon to ask God to use to protect your children as they go into their battle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mentioned the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, that\u2019s going to be in theaters, May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. There are a couple of scenes in the movie that make this point. There is one at kind of a pivotal point in this family\u2019s life, where prayer becomes more central to what\u2019s going on for them. Then, there is a scene where mom and dad get some news; and this is news that they can\u2019t do anything to control or they can\u2019t do anything to change. The only option for them is to pray. It\u2019s a moving scene, where mom and dad sit down at the kitchen table, and they ask God to do what they can\u2019t do, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope our listeners are going to join us May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup> at their local theater for the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>\u2014two showings only\u20147 o\u2019clock Tuesday night \/ 7 o\u2019clock Thursday night. It\u2019s going to be in more than 800 theaters across the country. I know some of the theaters are already sold out. Thank you for getting advance tickets. You might want to go online now and make sure that you can still get tickets for either of the two showings\u2014May 1<sup>st<\/sup> or May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014at your local theater. Again, it is two nights only. So, if you want to join us for <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, be sure to check it out online. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link for <em>Like Arrows<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, <em>FamilyLife\u2019s Art of Parenting\u2122<\/em> video series comes out on May 1<sup>st<\/sup> as well. If you\u2019re interested in pre-ordering the series, you can save\u2014I think it is $50\u2014by pre-ordering. You\u2019ll get the DVD kit, along with the workbook, and a voucher so you can get a copy of the <em>Like Arrows<\/em> movie when it\u2019s available on DVD. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for information about pre-ordering <em>FamilyLife\u2019s<\/em> <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series. This is something you could do with a small group or as a church class. Again, find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear more from Jen Wilkin about how we raise alien children\u2014children that don\u2019t have the same value system as the culture in which they live. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300205","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300205"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300205"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300205"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300205"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}