{"id":300203,"date":"2018-04-18T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-04-18T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/five-ways-to-be-different\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:23","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:23","slug":"five-ways-to-be-different","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/five-ways-to-be-different\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Ways to Be Different"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As followers of Christ, we are aliens-this world is not our home. Jen Wilkin introduces five areas in which our children can display their allegiance to God&#8217;s kingdom.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<br \/>\nFamilyLife&#8217;s Art of Parenting\u2122 Online Experience<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As followers of Christ, we are aliens-this world is not our home. Jen Wilkin introduces five areas in which our children can display their allegiance to God&#8217;s kingdom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-18.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:59","filesize":"23.79M","filesize_raw":"24945389","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10350,2806],"tags":[4352,4354,4353,4355],"podcast_series":[7209],"cwp_profile":[3337],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300203","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-digital-and-media-choices","category-spiritual-development","tag-kingdom-of-god","tag-leading-your-child-to-christ","tag-raising-children","tag-teaching-your-children","podcast_series-raising-alien-children","cwp_profile-jen-wilkin","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300203\/five-ways-to-be-different","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300203\/five-ways-to-be-different","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"jjfGhIRQQ6\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/five-ways-to-be-different\/\">Five Ways to Be Different<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/five-ways-to-be-different\/embed\/#?secret=jjfGhIRQQ6\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Five Ways to Be Different&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"jjfGhIRQQ6\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you think about what you\u2019re trying to accomplish, as a parent, can you put words to that? Jen Wilkin thinks she has an idea.\n\n<strong>Jen: <\/strong>If I were to ask you, \u201cWhat is your greatest hope for your child?\u201d I would get a varying number of answers. I\u2019m guessing that we would mostly all say something similar to this: \u201cOur greatest hope for our child is that they would grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have.\u201d\n\nBut here\u2019s what I think we need to come to terms with\u2014those who grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have do not blend in; they will look radically different\u2014which means that the goal of the Christian parent is to prepare a child to live in a world that is not their home.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, April 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Have you ever thought about raising kids to make sure they don\u2019t fit in? We\u2019re going to explore that today with Jen Wilkin. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. Our listeners may have noticed that we\u2019ve been talking about parenting a lot over the last couple of weeks. There\u2019s a reason for that\u2014it\u2019s on our minds these days; isn\u2019t it?\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is very much on our minds. Barbara and I had holed up for the better part of\u2014four months?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, we really hunkered down; because we looked at each other many, many times and said, \u201cDo you realize the task that we\u2019re trying to accomplish, writing about the art of parenting?\u201d\u201428 years of being parents\u2014and reflecting on the great moments, the challenging moments, and the despairing moments of raising 6 children to adulthood.\n\nAnd yet, Bob, I have to tell you\u2014I think Barbara and I will look back on this\u2014it was written back last fall and winter. I think I burned over a cord of wood\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\n\n<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u2014we have a fireplace in our living room. I got a heating bill that said we actually used 30 percent less electricity when it was 20 percent colder.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think our fire, both in the fireplace and in our hearts, warmed our home as we relived just the art of parenting and how we did it\u2014and just want to bring hope, and practical help, and encouragement to moms and dads\u2014because it is\u2014it really is a big challenge.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your book is going to be available this fall\u2014it\u2019s not out yet. I think the thing that people, who know you, will recognize\u2014is that this is not a book of everything you did right, as parents.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s correct.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is a book of what real parenting was like\u2014the challenges you\u2019ve faced, the mistakes that got made, and what God taught you in the process. You spend a lot of time looking at what the Scriptures have to say about our assignment, as parents.\n\n<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nYou said there are some clear priorities and objectives that God has given us.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and we also, Bob, compared what the Bible has to say with the world we live in. We just talked about how the world today is far more challenging than it was when we raised our kids; and yet, this book, the Bible\u2014not our book\u2014but <em>the<\/em> Book \/ <em>the<\/em> bestseller in history\u2014this book has never been more relevant to help people think about the straight line of righteousness, of right living, of being wise and not a fool.\n\nI think there\u2019s a great need for parents today\u2014and millennial parents are\u2014there\u2019s over, I think, over 16 million millennials, who are parents today. We added another one million to the number last year. I think they\u2019re looking for help and hope, practically, with those that won\u2019t preach at them; but put their arm around them and say, \u201cLet me tell you where we found a drink of water when we were thirsty in raising our kids.\u201d\n\n<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re going to hear a message this week from our friend, Jen Wilkin, who shared about her experience, as a parent. In fact, we\u2019re going to hear Part One of that message, here, in just a minute. She\u2019s a mom who\u2019s in the midst of raising her kids. She and her husband live in Dallas; she\u2019s a Bible teacher; she\u2019s an author and a speaker. She had the opportunity to kind of take us into her parenting journey in a message that she presented several months ago. We thought this was a <em>great<\/em> message for our listeners to hear.\n\nIn Part One of this message, Dennis, she makes the point that we have to have a proper mindset when it comes to parenting. In fact, what she says in this message reminds me of something that Tim Kimmel says in the<em> Art of Parenting\u2122<\/em> video series that FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has created that will be coming out in a few weeks. He says, when you stop to think about how long your children are going to live, it changes everything in your parenting. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nAnd then he says, \u201cI know how long every kid\u2019s going to live.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThey\u2019re going to live forever.\u201d When you recognize your kids are going to live forever, and you have to have them ready for forever\u2014not just for college, not just for marriage, not just for adulthood, but for forever\u2014that changes your parenting.\n\nLet\u2019s listen to Part One of Jen Wilkin\u2019s message on the things she\u2019s learning, being a mom and a parent.\n\n[Recorded Message]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Jen: <\/strong>The reason that I have been invited to speak here this morning is because I am a perfect parent, and I have raised perfect children. [Laughter] Anyone who is in my club, please come find me afterwards, and we\u2019ll celebrate our great success. [Laughter] No; the reason that I am here\u2014I\u2019m actually not <em>sure<\/em> the reason that I\u2019m here\u2014but I do have kids, who have made it to young adulthood; and I\u2019m clothed and in my right mind. If you\u2019re willing to accept those as my credentials, we will move forward.\n\n<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI am going to talk to you this morning about raising an alien child. I need you to know a little bit about my family so that you can filter properly what I\u2019m going to talk about. In the Wilkin family, we had four children in four years. By the time I had my third child, I had an oldest child who was two years and four months old. We just like\u2014when we decided we were having babies, the Lord said, \u201cYes; you are.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI think what happened in our house was\u2014we needed to crystallize some methods a little quicker than the person who has children a little further apart or has a little bit of a different situation than we did. Just as the saying goes that \u201cAll theology is autobiography,\u201d I would argue that all parenting methods probably are too. I\u2019m going to talk about some things today and tell you the way that we did things in <em>our<\/em> family, but <em>your<\/em> home is not my home. There are six unique individuals that lived under my roof, and you have individuals living under your roof as well.\n\n<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI would task you\u2014in general, with any parenting information that you receive\u2014to take what you can use and leave the rest behind. I cannot tell you what to do; I can tell you what we did. I want to give you some general principles that I think were helpful and that are based on my understanding of God\u2019s Word.\n\nI also need to say that everything I will share with you today is not from me alone. It comes from the Lord, of course, when we go to parent; but my husband Jeff is an absolute partner with me in raising these children. His wisdom is behind many of the better things that you might be able to take away from this; because I\u2019m the one who, when a kid goes and does something, where you\u2019re like: \u201cYou embarrassed me. Why are we related?\u201d he\u2019s the one who says, \u201cCalm down.\u201d We all need someone like that.\n\nIf you would, turn with me to 1 Peter 2\u2014\n\n<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u20141 Peter 2. What we\u2019re going to be talking about is how we can help our children trade the comfort of fitting in for the calling of standing out.\n\nIn the summer of 1982, I went to see a movie with my brothers and my best friend, Wendy. Wendy was my next-door neighbor. She was sort of a surrogate sister for me, because I did not have any sisters. I was very self-conscious in middle school. I was 13\u201413 years old\u2014and wanted my brothers to want me around and also wanted no one to actually look at me any other time. We lived in a relatively small town. When you went to see a movie in the summer, you went to the only theater that there was; and you were probably sitting there with friends and neighbors.\n\nWendy came with me; she sat next to me. The movie was <em>E.T.<\/em> <em>the Extra-Terrestrial<\/em>. About midway through the movie, things turn ugly for E.T. Wendy is overcome with emotion and <em>screams<\/em> at me in the theater: \u201cDoes he die?! Does he die?!\u201d\u2014like at the top of her lungs!\n\n<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI thought to myself, \u201cI don\u2019t know if <em>he<\/em> dies, but I sure want to right now.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<em>E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial<\/em> was the fourth largest grossing film of <em>all time<\/em>, because it\u2019s an endearing story. I mean, you think about that movie\u2014I hope this is not a spoiler for anyone; because, for heavens\u2019 sake, you\u2019ve had 35 years to watch it. [Laughter] I remember the first time that E.T. came on the screen, because they hadn\u2019t shown him like in any of the previews. You didn\u2019t know what he was going to look like, and you were just so distracted by this sort of partially-human appearance that it took a while to stop focusing on the externals to realize that the message the movie was communicating is that E.T., the extra-terrestrial, was sort of a better version of <em>us<\/em>.\n\nIt starts to make sense\u2014doesn\u2019t it?\u2014why that movie would be one of the most high-grossing films of all time?\u2014because someone comes down to earth; is revealed to his follower to be a better version of humanity; he suffers at the hands of wicked men; he dies; he comes back to life; and he ascends <em>home<\/em>.\n\n<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nThat\u2019s a powerful story\u2014that\u2019s a story that can be told again and again; because, like all good stories, it\u2019s the one true story.\n\nFirst Peter 2:11 and 12: \u201cDear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day that He visits us.\u201d I learned these verses for the first time about the time that I had seen <em>E.T<\/em>. Every time I read them, I\u2019m picturing [sounding like E.T.] <em>Elliott<\/em>.\n\n<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nIt was a little hard at Scripture memory camp\u2014to recite this without having sort of a grin on your face\u2014because you\u2019re like, \u201cThey said, \u2018aliens\u2019\u2014you know, that movie?\u201d But it was actually a really good image to carry along\u2014it was a really good idea to hold onto, as I pursued my own walk as a believer; but then, as a parent, as well, it\u2019s an important image for us to keep in mind.\n\nIf I were to ask you, \u201cWhat is your greatest hope for your child?\u201d I would get a varying number of answers. I\u2019m guessing that we would mostly all say something similar to this: \u201cOur greatest hope for our child is that they would grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have.\u201d That\u2019s what we want; right? That\u2019s why you came here; because we want to be someone who has a child who grows to know, love, and serve God with everything they have.\n\nBut here\u2019s what I think we need to come to terms with\u2014those who grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have do not blend in; they will look radically different\u2014which means that the goal of the Christian parent is to prepare a child to live in a world that is not their home, which begs the question then:\n\n<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u201cHow much of our decision making, with regard to our children, centers around helping them fit in?\u201d because there is a strong pull for us to want to medicate some bad memory that we have of not fitting in by giving our children a freedom from that tension as often as possible and in as many ways as possible.\n\nNot only is there a desire for us to want the child not to feel that tension, but we, ourselves, do not want to feel the tension of other parents looking at us and saying, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you express your love for your child by doing \u2018X,\u2019\u2018Y,\u2019 or \u2018Z,\u2019?\u201d\u2014according to the markers that are common to our culture? We need to be asking what opportunities we can take to train our children to be comfortable with feeling different.\n\n<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nNow, don\u2019t panic. We\u2019re not talking about intentionally making ourselves <em>odd<\/em> for the sake of drawing attention to the gospel; we\u2019re talking about following Christ in such a way that that occurs. Romans 16:19 says, \u201cBut I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.\u201d We are to be in the world but not of the world; we are to understand what evil is and to flee from it; but we are also to be present in the midst of it. Verse 16 of Matthew 10 says, \u201cBehold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and as innocent as doves.\u201d We are going to ask our children to trade being the same for being set apart. That means that we\u2019re going to think differently about the decisions that we make.\n\nI want to talk about five different key areas, this morning, that you can consider as you think through how you might raise an alien child: activities, speech, possessions, entertainment, and friends.\n\n<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s Jen Wilkin, and we\u2019re going to get to hear her thoughts on raising alien children in those five areas as we continue to hear her message this week.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I can\u2019t wait. I was there\u2014I was at the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission Parenting Conference\u2014because I spoke. Jen hits it on the head here, because these five areas\u2014activities, speech, possessions, entertainment, friends\u2014this pretty well wraps up the main issues your kids are going to begin to face in grade school, in middle school, and in high school, and then leaving school to go to college, work, service. These are all areas they have to be grounded in and know how to think, biblically, in each.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She has some great observations\u2014we\u2019ll hear those, ahead this week; so you\u2019ll want to keep listening for that. But we wanted to just make sure our listeners are aware of the fact that this is a year where FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is turning a big part of our attention to this parenting challenge and trying to provide help and hope for moms and dads.\n\n<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe\u2019ve already talked about the book you and Barbara have written that\u2019s coming out this fall, but we have a video series that\u2019s based on the content of your book. I should just say\u2014the video series is not your book in video form\u2014it\u2019s really a <em>companion<\/em> piece to your book. The same themes are explored, but you need both the book and the video series together to get the big picture; don\u2019t you think?\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you actually shot the video\u2014the <em>Art of Parenting\u2122<\/em>. You did so using 15 different experts\u2014pastors, counselors, authors\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014there\u2019s a pediatrician!\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014doctors; yes.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dr. Meg Meeker joins us on this series, along with Tim and Darcy Kimmel, Bryan and Korie Loritts; we have Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica Thompson, who are a part of this series; Pastor Kevin DeYoung; our friend, Alistair Begg, has contributed to this series\u2014I mean, the list goes on.\n\n<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe\u2019ve tried to make sure that we\u2019re not just representing one person\u2019s thinking on parenting; but we\u2019re trying to get at these biblical themes and making the point that: \u201cThere\u2019s a consensus here on what really matters when it comes to the main themes that parents need to be addressing.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And, what we\u2019re saying is\u2014if you want to be a great parent \/ I\u2019m not talking about average\u2014if you want to be a great one, you\u2019re going to do this in community. That\u2019s what this video series will help you forge and form. I would predict that the four, six, eight couples that you go through the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> with\u2014maybe you go through it with a larger group and they break down into smaller groups\u2014I predict that the couples that you talk with about your convictions, your values, where you\u2019re going to draw the line as you raise your children in many of the key areas that they\u2019re going to face in grade school, middle school, and adolescence\u2014I think it\u2019s going to help you a great deal to hear what other people are afraid of\u2014\n\n<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u2014to hear their lack of confidence.\n\nI\u2019ll tell you\u2014by the time this comes out, there will be a fresh series of battles in the culture that: \u201cWho knows how you could begin to answer them?\u201d You have to be with a group of people, who are thinking and going, \u201cWell, let\u2019s talk about \u2018How are we going to respond to this <em>latest<\/em> bit of a twist on the straight line here?\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When we were raising our kids, there were other couples, who were on the journey as well. We\u2019d get together with them regularly, and we\u2019d talk about parenting challenges. I remember going to those meetings, thinking, \u201cOur kids are going to be in jail someday,\u201d [Laughter] and we\u2019d get there; and we\u2019d have the conversations. I\u2019d drive home going: \u201cOkay; we\u2019re not the only parents who are facing these challenges. There\u2019s still hope.\u201d We encouraged one another in that journey.\n\nIn fact, I\u2019ve told people about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series: \u201cIf all you do is watch the video, you\u2019ll get about 25 percent of the benefit of the series.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIf you watch the video, and then you team up with some other parents, and you have the discussion questions that are in the workbook, that\u2019s another 35 or\n\n40 [percent]. And then, if you\u2019ll do the homework that we give parents, and you\u2019ll actually fill out the arrow, which is a short-term strategic plan for each of your children, to say: \u2018What are the issues we need to be focusing on? How do we get these addressed? How do we keep our priorities straight with our kids?\u2019 now you\u2019re up to\n\n100 percent of the value.\u201d\n\nSo, it\u2019s the videos, it\u2019s the small group, and it\u2019s the homework\u2014those three in concert will, I think, revolutionize your parenting.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And Bob, I don\u2019t think there are many resources available today that do a better job than the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014of helping parents move from theory and truth to application\u2014specifically to a child\u2014because children are different. It\u2019s not a one-size-fits-all approach to raising children, just in case you haven\u2019t noticed, as you raise your kids.\n\n<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nAll six of ours\u2014it just was staggering the challenges that would present to us, especially when they teamed up against us\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right!\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014you know, so then they\u2019re taking one another\u2019s strengths or weaknesses together and taking advantage of you.\n\nBut it was a great privilege. One of the things we did was\u2014is we talked about our strategy with each of the children and tried to anticipate\u2014key word: anticipate\u2014the issues that our children were going to be facing. Rather than playing defense\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for instance, rather than going to the grocery store and telling your kids that they can\u2019t grab stuff off of the shelves \/ they can\u2019t run down the aisles; in the parking lot, before you put your kids in the cart and go inside, you explain to them: \u201cHow are we going to behave?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWhat are the ground rules for what we\u2019re doing?\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s the reward if you follow through on it?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; and \u201cWhat\u2019s the consequence if you don\u2019t follow through on it?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes; there\u2019s always that too.\n\n<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe talk about this in our book.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And one of the things Barbara had on the dashboard of our van was\u2014just, occasionally, things would get out of hand to such a degree she felt like she needed to have an object lesson. [Laughter] And Megan, do you have any idea what Barbara would have put out on the dashboard to remind our kids?\n\n<strong>Megan: <\/strong>[off mic] A wooden spoon?\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Correct, Megan! [Laughter] Correct answer! I can tell you\u2019re in the battle! Way to go. [Laughter]\n\nAnd again, people who equate spanking and physical discipline with violence\u2014I\u2019m sorry\u2014I\u2019m not going to be accused of that, because we didn\u2019t do that; okay? But there\u2019s a way to do that, and we talk about it in our book\u2014of how you can install corporal punishment and do it with love, with compassion, and help create a little wheel alignment in attitudes with your children.\n\n<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, let me kind of lay out for folks all that\u2019s happening and let our listeners know what we\u2019re recommending in terms of engagement. First of all, we have a movie coming out\u2014it\u2019s going to be in theaters May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014it\u2019s called <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, and it\u2019s a movie about parenting. We think of it as Session Zero for the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em>. Tickets are on sale now; you can buy them now and plan to go\u2014take your small group from church.\n\nOnce the movie\u2019s over, then you can start, right away, on the video series\u2014the eight sessions of the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> are going to be available starting May 1<sup>st<\/sup>. If you pre-order the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> right now\u2014you can pre-order\u2014and it\u2019s a significant discount to buy it ahead of time. Go ahead and get your order in; you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com for information on the pre-ordering.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And by the way, just to give you an idea of some of the topics: we\u2019ll talk about training your children to get along with their siblings\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014even though we were not able to fully do it\u2014[Laughter]\u2014we\u2019ll talk about how they can get to know God; we\u2019ll talk about being wise and not a fool; we\u2019ll talk about character.\n\n<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nDo you know what character is?\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014what forges character in a child? That\u2019s one of your <em>main<\/em> responsibilities. We\u2019ll talk about relational identity, emotional identity, [and] spiritual identity; and last, we\u2019ll talk about raising your child to release them and have a mission.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That, to me, is the missing component in most families today. They are not raising their arrows to be aimed at a target and let go to have impact.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You could go through these eight sessions over the summer with a small group. I\u2019m hoping that some churches will begin to incorporate <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>classes into the regular rhythm of their church; so when you have baby dedications or when you have baptisms, depending on what you do at your church, you could have <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>classes before the babies are dedicated or baptized\u2014\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s a great idea!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014or before they get permanent name tags in the nursery.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think one of the great outreaches of a church today can just be to advertise your church as a marriage and parent equipping center.\n\n<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the movie, May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>; then the<em> Art of Parenting <\/em>video series, available beginning May 1<sup>st<\/sup>. There\u2019s also going to be an online component for it, so you can actually go through an online course on your own\u2014it\u2019s free of charge. We have information about that on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. And then, finally, your book will be out in August or September; right?\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; right.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We want to make parenting a priority for you. We\u2019ve made it a priority for FamilyLife, and we hope that 2018 will be the beginning year for a parenting movement of intentional, focused, gospel-centered parenting.\n\nAgain, you can find out more about what\u2019s available when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can call if you have any questions: 1-800-FLTODAY. Tickets for the movie are on sale now.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Go to the movie, please.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes!\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Lots of folks are going to be there\u2014they\u2019re all friends of Bob\u2019s\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so come join them. You\u2019ll like them!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can get your tickets now, and find out more about the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> video series as well.\n\n<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nNow, tomorrow, we will hear from Jen Wilkin about some of the areas where she is hoping to raise alien children in her home. We\u2019re going to hear how they are addressing activities and speech in their home and how they\u2019re trying to do it differently than their friends are doing it.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Is she talking about teenagers? Because they become aliens. [Laughter] It\u2019s like an alien takeover!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I hope you can tune in for that tomorrow.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They can become that way.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. See you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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followers of Christ, we are aliens-this world is not our home. Jen Wilkin introduces five areas in which our children can display their allegiance to God's kingdom.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-04-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you think about what you\u2019re trying to accomplish, as a parent, can you put words to that? Jen Wilkin thinks she has an idea.\n\n<strong>Jen: <\/strong>If I were to ask you, \u201cWhat is your greatest hope for your child?\u201d I would get a varying number of answers. I\u2019m guessing that we would mostly all say something similar to this: \u201cOur greatest hope for our child is that they would grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have.\u201d\n\nBut here\u2019s what I think we need to come to terms with\u2014those who grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have do not blend in; they will look radically different\u2014which means that the goal of the Christian parent is to prepare a child to live in a world that is not their home.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, April 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Have you ever thought about raising kids to make sure they don\u2019t fit in? We\u2019re going to explore that today with Jen Wilkin. Stay with us.\n\n<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. Our listeners may have noticed that we\u2019ve been talking about parenting a lot over the last couple of weeks. There\u2019s a reason for that\u2014it\u2019s on our minds these days; isn\u2019t it?\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is very much on our minds. Barbara and I had holed up for the better part of\u2014four months?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, we really hunkered down; because we looked at each other many, many times and said, \u201cDo you realize the task that we\u2019re trying to accomplish, writing about the art of parenting?\u201d\u201428 years of being parents\u2014and reflecting on the great moments, the challenging moments, and the despairing moments of raising 6 children to adulthood.\n\nAnd yet, Bob, I have to tell you\u2014I think Barbara and I will look back on this\u2014it was written back last fall and winter. I think I burned over a cord of wood\u2014[Laughter]\u2014\n\n<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u2014we have a fireplace in our living room. I got a heating bill that said we actually used 30 percent less electricity when it was 20 percent colder.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think our fire, both in the fireplace and in our hearts, warmed our home as we relived just the art of parenting and how we did it\u2014and just want to bring hope, and practical help, and encouragement to moms and dads\u2014because it is\u2014it really is a big challenge.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your book is going to be available this fall\u2014it\u2019s not out yet. I think the thing that people, who know you, will recognize\u2014is that this is not a book of everything you did right, as parents.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s correct.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is a book of what real parenting was like\u2014the challenges you\u2019ve faced, the mistakes that got made, and what God taught you in the process. You spend a lot of time looking at what the Scriptures have to say about our assignment, as parents.\n\n<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nYou said there are some clear priorities and objectives that God has given us.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and we also, Bob, compared what the Bible has to say with the world we live in. We just talked about how the world today is far more challenging than it was when we raised our kids; and yet, this book, the Bible\u2014not our book\u2014but <em>the<\/em> Book \/ <em>the<\/em> bestseller in history\u2014this book has never been more relevant to help people think about the straight line of righteousness, of right living, of being wise and not a fool.\n\nI think there\u2019s a great need for parents today\u2014and millennial parents are\u2014there\u2019s over, I think, over 16 million millennials, who are parents today. We added another one million to the number last year. I think they\u2019re looking for help and hope, practically, with those that won\u2019t preach at them; but put their arm around them and say, \u201cLet me tell you where we found a drink of water when we were thirsty in raising our kids.\u201d\n\n<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re going to hear a message this week from our friend, Jen Wilkin, who shared about her experience, as a parent. In fact, we\u2019re going to hear Part One of that message, here, in just a minute. She\u2019s a mom who\u2019s in the midst of raising her kids. She and her husband live in Dallas; she\u2019s a Bible teacher; she\u2019s an author and a speaker. She had the opportunity to kind of take us into her parenting journey in a message that she presented several months ago. We thought this was a <em>great<\/em> message for our listeners to hear.\n\nIn Part One of this message, Dennis, she makes the point that we have to have a proper mindset when it comes to parenting. In fact, what she says in this message reminds me of something that Tim Kimmel says in the<em> Art of Parenting\u2122<\/em> video series that FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has created that will be coming out in a few weeks. He says, when you stop to think about how long your children are going to live, it changes everything in your parenting. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nAnd then he says, \u201cI know how long every kid\u2019s going to live.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThey\u2019re going to live forever.\u201d When you recognize your kids are going to live forever, and you have to have them ready for forever\u2014not just for college, not just for marriage, not just for adulthood, but for forever\u2014that changes your parenting.\n\nLet\u2019s listen to Part One of Jen Wilkin\u2019s message on the things she\u2019s learning, being a mom and a parent.\n\n[Recorded Message]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Jen: <\/strong>The reason that I have been invited to speak here this morning is because I am a perfect parent, and I have raised perfect children. [Laughter] Anyone who is in my club, please come find me afterwards, and we\u2019ll celebrate our great success. [Laughter] No; the reason that I am here\u2014I\u2019m actually not <em>sure<\/em> the reason that I\u2019m here\u2014but I do have kids, who have made it to young adulthood; and I\u2019m clothed and in my right mind. If you\u2019re willing to accept those as my credentials, we will move forward.\n\n<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI am going to talk to you this morning about raising an alien child. I need you to know a little bit about my family so that you can filter properly what I\u2019m going to talk about. In the Wilkin family, we had four children in four years. By the time I had my third child, I had an oldest child who was two years and four months old. We just like\u2014when we decided we were having babies, the Lord said, \u201cYes; you are.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI think what happened in our house was\u2014we needed to crystallize some methods a little quicker than the person who has children a little further apart or has a little bit of a different situation than we did. Just as the saying goes that \u201cAll theology is autobiography,\u201d I would argue that all parenting methods probably are too. I\u2019m going to talk about some things today and tell you the way that we did things in <em>our<\/em> family, but <em>your<\/em> home is not my home. There are six unique individuals that lived under my roof, and you have individuals living under your roof as well.\n\n<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI would task you\u2014in general, with any parenting information that you receive\u2014to take what you can use and leave the rest behind. I cannot tell you what to do; I can tell you what we did. I want to give you some general principles that I think were helpful and that are based on my understanding of God\u2019s Word.\n\nI also need to say that everything I will share with you today is not from me alone. It comes from the Lord, of course, when we go to parent; but my husband Jeff is an absolute partner with me in raising these children. His wisdom is behind many of the better things that you might be able to take away from this; because I\u2019m the one who, when a kid goes and does something, where you\u2019re like: \u201cYou embarrassed me. Why are we related?\u201d he\u2019s the one who says, \u201cCalm down.\u201d We all need someone like that.\n\nIf you would, turn with me to 1 Peter 2\u2014\n\n<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u20141 Peter 2. What we\u2019re going to be talking about is how we can help our children trade the comfort of fitting in for the calling of standing out.\n\nIn the summer of 1982, I went to see a movie with my brothers and my best friend, Wendy. Wendy was my next-door neighbor. She was sort of a surrogate sister for me, because I did not have any sisters. I was very self-conscious in middle school. I was 13\u201413 years old\u2014and wanted my brothers to want me around and also wanted no one to actually look at me any other time. We lived in a relatively small town. When you went to see a movie in the summer, you went to the only theater that there was; and you were probably sitting there with friends and neighbors.\n\nWendy came with me; she sat next to me. The movie was <em>E.T.<\/em> <em>the Extra-Terrestrial<\/em>. About midway through the movie, things turn ugly for E.T. Wendy is overcome with emotion and <em>screams<\/em> at me in the theater: \u201cDoes he die?! Does he die?!\u201d\u2014like at the top of her lungs!\n\n<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nI thought to myself, \u201cI don\u2019t know if <em>he<\/em> dies, but I sure want to right now.\u201d [Laughter]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<em>E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial<\/em> was the fourth largest grossing film of <em>all time<\/em>, because it\u2019s an endearing story. I mean, you think about that movie\u2014I hope this is not a spoiler for anyone; because, for heavens\u2019 sake, you\u2019ve had 35 years to watch it. [Laughter] I remember the first time that E.T. came on the screen, because they hadn\u2019t shown him like in any of the previews. You didn\u2019t know what he was going to look like, and you were just so distracted by this sort of partially-human appearance that it took a while to stop focusing on the externals to realize that the message the movie was communicating is that E.T., the extra-terrestrial, was sort of a better version of <em>us<\/em>.\n\nIt starts to make sense\u2014doesn\u2019t it?\u2014why that movie would be one of the most high-grossing films of all time?\u2014because someone comes down to earth; is revealed to his follower to be a better version of humanity; he suffers at the hands of wicked men; he dies; he comes back to life; and he ascends <em>home<\/em>.\n\n<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nThat\u2019s a powerful story\u2014that\u2019s a story that can be told again and again; because, like all good stories, it\u2019s the one true story.\n\nFirst Peter 2:11 and 12: \u201cDear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day that He visits us.\u201d I learned these verses for the first time about the time that I had seen <em>E.T<\/em>. Every time I read them, I\u2019m picturing [sounding like E.T.] <em>Elliott<\/em>.\n\n<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nIt was a little hard at Scripture memory camp\u2014to recite this without having sort of a grin on your face\u2014because you\u2019re like, \u201cThey said, \u2018aliens\u2019\u2014you know, that movie?\u201d But it was actually a really good image to carry along\u2014it was a really good idea to hold onto, as I pursued my own walk as a believer; but then, as a parent, as well, it\u2019s an important image for us to keep in mind.\n\nIf I were to ask you, \u201cWhat is your greatest hope for your child?\u201d I would get a varying number of answers. I\u2019m guessing that we would mostly all say something similar to this: \u201cOur greatest hope for our child is that they would grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have.\u201d That\u2019s what we want; right? That\u2019s why you came here; because we want to be someone who has a child who grows to know, love, and serve God with everything they have.\n\nBut here\u2019s what I think we need to come to terms with\u2014those who grow to know, love, and serve God with everything they have do not blend in; they will look radically different\u2014which means that the goal of the Christian parent is to prepare a child to live in a world that is not their home, which begs the question then:\n\n<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u201cHow much of our decision making, with regard to our children, centers around helping them fit in?\u201d because there is a strong pull for us to want to medicate some bad memory that we have of not fitting in by giving our children a freedom from that tension as often as possible and in as many ways as possible.\n\nNot only is there a desire for us to want the child not to feel that tension, but we, ourselves, do not want to feel the tension of other parents looking at us and saying, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you express your love for your child by doing \u2018X,\u2019\u2018Y,\u2019 or \u2018Z,\u2019?\u201d\u2014according to the markers that are common to our culture? We need to be asking what opportunities we can take to train our children to be comfortable with feeling different.\n\n<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nNow, don\u2019t panic. We\u2019re not talking about intentionally making ourselves <em>odd<\/em> for the sake of drawing attention to the gospel; we\u2019re talking about following Christ in such a way that that occurs. Romans 16:19 says, \u201cBut I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.\u201d We are to be in the world but not of the world; we are to understand what evil is and to flee from it; but we are also to be present in the midst of it. Verse 16 of Matthew 10 says, \u201cBehold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and as innocent as doves.\u201d We are going to ask our children to trade being the same for being set apart. That means that we\u2019re going to think differently about the decisions that we make.\n\nI want to talk about five different key areas, this morning, that you can consider as you think through how you might raise an alien child: activities, speech, possessions, entertainment, and friends.\n\n<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n[Studio]\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s Jen Wilkin, and we\u2019re going to get to hear her thoughts on raising alien children in those five areas as we continue to hear her message this week.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I can\u2019t wait. I was there\u2014I was at the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission Parenting Conference\u2014because I spoke. Jen hits it on the head here, because these five areas\u2014activities, speech, possessions, entertainment, friends\u2014this pretty well wraps up the main issues your kids are going to begin to face in grade school, in middle school, and in high school, and then leaving school to go to college, work, service. These are all areas they have to be grounded in and know how to think, biblically, in each.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She has some great observations\u2014we\u2019ll hear those, ahead this week; so you\u2019ll want to keep listening for that. But we wanted to just make sure our listeners are aware of the fact that this is a year where FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is turning a big part of our attention to this parenting challenge and trying to provide help and hope for moms and dads.\n\n<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe\u2019ve already talked about the book you and Barbara have written that\u2019s coming out this fall, but we have a video series that\u2019s based on the content of your book. I should just say\u2014the video series is not your book in video form\u2014it\u2019s really a <em>companion<\/em> piece to your book. The same themes are explored, but you need both the book and the video series together to get the big picture; don\u2019t you think?\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you actually shot the video\u2014the <em>Art of Parenting\u2122<\/em>. You did so using 15 different experts\u2014pastors, counselors, authors\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014there\u2019s a pediatrician!\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014doctors; yes.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dr. Meg Meeker joins us on this series, along with Tim and Darcy Kimmel, Bryan and Korie Loritts; we have Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica Thompson, who are a part of this series; Pastor Kevin DeYoung; our friend, Alistair Begg, has contributed to this series\u2014I mean, the list goes on.\n\n<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe\u2019ve tried to make sure that we\u2019re not just representing one person\u2019s thinking on parenting; but we\u2019re trying to get at these biblical themes and making the point that: \u201cThere\u2019s a consensus here on what really matters when it comes to the main themes that parents need to be addressing.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And, what we\u2019re saying is\u2014if you want to be a great parent \/ I\u2019m not talking about average\u2014if you want to be a great one, you\u2019re going to do this in community. That\u2019s what this video series will help you forge and form. I would predict that the four, six, eight couples that you go through the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> with\u2014maybe you go through it with a larger group and they break down into smaller groups\u2014I predict that the couples that you talk with about your convictions, your values, where you\u2019re going to draw the line as you raise your children in many of the key areas that they\u2019re going to face in grade school, middle school, and adolescence\u2014I think it\u2019s going to help you a great deal to hear what other people are afraid of\u2014\n\n<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n\u2014to hear their lack of confidence.\n\nI\u2019ll tell you\u2014by the time this comes out, there will be a fresh series of battles in the culture that: \u201cWho knows how you could begin to answer them?\u201d You have to be with a group of people, who are thinking and going, \u201cWell, let\u2019s talk about \u2018How are we going to respond to this <em>latest<\/em> bit of a twist on the straight line here?\u2019\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When we were raising our kids, there were other couples, who were on the journey as well. We\u2019d get together with them regularly, and we\u2019d talk about parenting challenges. I remember going to those meetings, thinking, \u201cOur kids are going to be in jail someday,\u201d [Laughter] and we\u2019d get there; and we\u2019d have the conversations. I\u2019d drive home going: \u201cOkay; we\u2019re not the only parents who are facing these challenges. There\u2019s still hope.\u201d We encouraged one another in that journey.\n\nIn fact, I\u2019ve told people about the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series: \u201cIf all you do is watch the video, you\u2019ll get about 25 percent of the benefit of the series.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIf you watch the video, and then you team up with some other parents, and you have the discussion questions that are in the workbook, that\u2019s another 35 or\n\n40 [percent]. And then, if you\u2019ll do the homework that we give parents, and you\u2019ll actually fill out the arrow, which is a short-term strategic plan for each of your children, to say: \u2018What are the issues we need to be focusing on? How do we get these addressed? How do we keep our priorities straight with our kids?\u2019 now you\u2019re up to\n\n100 percent of the value.\u201d\n\nSo, it\u2019s the videos, it\u2019s the small group, and it\u2019s the homework\u2014those three in concert will, I think, revolutionize your parenting.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And Bob, I don\u2019t think there are many resources available today that do a better job than the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2014of helping parents move from theory and truth to application\u2014specifically to a child\u2014because children are different. It\u2019s not a one-size-fits-all approach to raising children, just in case you haven\u2019t noticed, as you raise your kids.\n\n<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nAll six of ours\u2014it just was staggering the challenges that would present to us, especially when they teamed up against us\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right!\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014you know, so then they\u2019re taking one another\u2019s strengths or weaknesses together and taking advantage of you.\n\nBut it was a great privilege. One of the things we did was\u2014is we talked about our strategy with each of the children and tried to anticipate\u2014key word: anticipate\u2014the issues that our children were going to be facing. Rather than playing defense\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for instance, rather than going to the grocery store and telling your kids that they can\u2019t grab stuff off of the shelves \/ they can\u2019t run down the aisles; in the parking lot, before you put your kids in the cart and go inside, you explain to them: \u201cHow are we going to behave?\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWhat are the ground rules for what we\u2019re doing?\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s the reward if you follow through on it?\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; and \u201cWhat\u2019s the consequence if you don\u2019t follow through on it?\u201d\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes; there\u2019s always that too.\n\n<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe talk about this in our book.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And one of the things Barbara had on the dashboard of our van was\u2014just, occasionally, things would get out of hand to such a degree she felt like she needed to have an object lesson. [Laughter] And Megan, do you have any idea what Barbara would have put out on the dashboard to remind our kids?\n\n<strong>Megan: <\/strong>[off mic] A wooden spoon?\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Correct, Megan! [Laughter] Correct answer! I can tell you\u2019re in the battle! Way to go. [Laughter]\n\nAnd again, people who equate spanking and physical discipline with violence\u2014I\u2019m sorry\u2014I\u2019m not going to be accused of that, because we didn\u2019t do that; okay? But there\u2019s a way to do that, and we talk about it in our book\u2014of how you can install corporal punishment and do it with love, with compassion, and help create a little wheel alignment in attitudes with your children.\n\n<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, let me kind of lay out for folks all that\u2019s happening and let our listeners know what we\u2019re recommending in terms of engagement. First of all, we have a movie coming out\u2014it\u2019s going to be in theaters May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014it\u2019s called <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, and it\u2019s a movie about parenting. We think of it as Session Zero for the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em>. Tickets are on sale now; you can buy them now and plan to go\u2014take your small group from church.\n\nOnce the movie\u2019s over, then you can start, right away, on the video series\u2014the eight sessions of the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> are going to be available starting May 1<sup>st<\/sup>. If you pre-order the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> right now\u2014you can pre-order\u2014and it\u2019s a significant discount to buy it ahead of time. Go ahead and get your order in; you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com for information on the pre-ordering.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And by the way, just to give you an idea of some of the topics: we\u2019ll talk about training your children to get along with their siblings\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014even though we were not able to fully do it\u2014[Laughter]\u2014we\u2019ll talk about how they can get to know God; we\u2019ll talk about being wise and not a fool; we\u2019ll talk about character.\n\n<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nDo you know what character is?\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014what forges character in a child? That\u2019s one of your <em>main<\/em> responsibilities. We\u2019ll talk about relational identity, emotional identity, [and] spiritual identity; and last, we\u2019ll talk about raising your child to release them and have a mission.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That, to me, is the missing component in most families today. They are not raising their arrows to be aimed at a target and let go to have impact.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You could go through these eight sessions over the summer with a small group. I\u2019m hoping that some churches will begin to incorporate <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>classes into the regular rhythm of their church; so when you have baby dedications or when you have baptisms, depending on what you do at your church, you could have <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>classes before the babies are dedicated or baptized\u2014\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s a great idea!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014or before they get permanent name tags in the nursery.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think one of the great outreaches of a church today can just be to advertise your church as a marriage and parent equipping center.\n\n<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the movie, May 1<sup>st<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>; then the<em> Art of Parenting <\/em>video series, available beginning May 1<sup>st<\/sup>. There\u2019s also going to be an online component for it, so you can actually go through an online course on your own\u2014it\u2019s free of charge. We have information about that on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. And then, finally, your book will be out in August or September; right?\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; right.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We want to make parenting a priority for you. We\u2019ve made it a priority for FamilyLife, and we hope that 2018 will be the beginning year for a parenting movement of intentional, focused, gospel-centered parenting.\n\nAgain, you can find out more about what\u2019s available when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can call if you have any questions: 1-800-FLTODAY. Tickets for the movie are on sale now.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Go to the movie, please.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes!\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Lots of folks are going to be there\u2014they\u2019re all friends of Bob\u2019s\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so come join them. You\u2019ll like them!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can get your tickets now, and find out more about the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> video series as well.\n\n<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nNow, tomorrow, we will hear from Jen Wilkin about some of the areas where she is hoping to raise alien children in her home. We\u2019re going to hear how they are addressing activities and speech in their home and how they\u2019re trying to do it differently than their friends are doing it.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Is she talking about teenagers? Because they become aliens. [Laughter] It\u2019s like an alien takeover!\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I hope you can tune in for that tomorrow.\n\n<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They can become that way.\n\n<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. See you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry.\n\nHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. 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