{"id":300171,"date":"2018-03-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-03-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/marriage-lessons-from-romans-12\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:41:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:41:21","slug":"marriage-lessons-from-romans-12","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-lessons-from-romans-12\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriage Lessons from Romans 12"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Robert Wolgemuth | Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth walk us through Romans 12:1-4, 9. Together they share some marriage lessons they&#8217;ve learned from this important passage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth walk us through Romans 12:1-4, 9. Together they share some marriage lessons they&#8217;ve learned from this important passage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:33:20","filesize":"30.51M","filesize_raw":"31994668","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2810],"tags":[2877,4274,4275],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3196,3178],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-300171","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-spiritually","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-lessons","tag-romans-12","cwp_profile-nancy-demoss-wolgemuth","cwp_profile-robert-wolgemuth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/300171\/marriage-lessons-from-romans-12","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/300171\/marriage-lessons-from-romans-12","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"amB9TGBsfQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-lessons-from-romans-12\/\">Marriage Lessons from Romans 12<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/marriage-lessons-from-romans-12\/embed\/#?secret=amB9TGBsfQ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Marriage Lessons from Romans 12&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"amB9TGBsfQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just how much are we in control of our own emotions? Robert Wolgemuth says, \u201cIt\u2019s more than we realize.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Bobbie, my late wife\u2014she was an inspired person, who had a hair-trigger on her emotions. There was one time we were screaming at each other in the kitchen, and the phone rang. [Phone ringing]\u00a0 Now, if you had said to me, \u201cAre you out of control?\u201d I would have said, \u201cYes; I am completely out of control.\u201d [Phone ringing] I picked it up [speaking calmly]: \u201cHello?\u201d [Laughter] I thought I was out of control\u2014I wasn\u2019t. I had <em>chosen<\/em> to be out of control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can we, as a married couple, <em>outdo<\/em> one another in showing honor?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what the Bible tells us to do. Well, in order to do that, we\u2019ve got to understand how to control our passions. We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, one of the things I\u2019ve realized over time is that most of us think there are a handful of verses in the Bible that talk about marriage, specifically; but we don\u2019t typically think about other passages that talk about relationships as being about marriage. If you stop and think\u2014Jesus said all of the law and the prophets is summed up in this: \u201cLove God and love your neighbor.\u201d Well, who\u2019s your closest neighbor?\u2014it\u2019s the person you married; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, everything that the Bible has to say about how we\u2019re to relate to one another \/ how we\u2019re to live with one another applies, first, in a marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, we\u2019re going to spend some time in a passage that I think is being overlooked today. I haven\u2019t heard nearly enough messages from Romans, Chapter 12, especially the first two verses, really, in a couple of decades. I think there is a reason; because this challenges us to our core: \u201cWill we surrender <em>all<\/em> to Jesus Christ?\u201d Just listen to these verses of Romans 12: \u201cI appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.\u201d Then, verse 9, which really is a great marriage verse: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLet love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast\u201d\u2014hold fast\u2014\u201cto what is good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Those really are <em>great<\/em> verses for us to apply in marriage. That\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> what our friends, Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth, did a few weeks ago when they joined us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise. One morning, they opened up Romans 12 and just had a conversation with all of us there, where they talked about this passage, and how it applies in marriage, and shared insights with all of us. That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to hear today\u2014is what that dialogue sounded like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to mention\u2014again, we\u2019ve been talking about it this week. If you would like to join us onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise next year, we have more than 70 percent of the cabins reserved for 2019. So, if you\u2019re at all interested, now is the time to get more information or reserve your cabin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll be travelling to Honduras, to Belize, and to Key West next year. We\u2019ve got speakers like Voddie Baucham, Dr. Juli Slattery. Ron Deal is going to join us. Alex and Stephen Kendrick will be back with a rough-cut of their new movie that they are just starting to work on now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information about the cruise, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can sign up to be with us by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. You better do it quickly because staterooms are starting to go. We\u2019d love to have you be on the cruise with us next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I ran into a young man from Nebraska, who said: \u201cDennis, my wife and I came to this six years ago. It so impacted our lives that we went back and invited our two pastors of our church to come with us with their wives.\u201d He said, \u201cThey had a time of <em>renewal<\/em> on the cruise.\u201d This year, he said he was back; and I think he told me they brought six pastors and their spouses this year. You\u2019re talking about somebody who really believes, first of all, in the ministry of the local church and wants to find a way to bless pastors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you are a pastor. You wouldn\u2019t turn somebody down if they gave you this cruise; would you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019d find a way to carve out some time on my schedule so we could do that; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think I would as well. Find a way to bless somebody\u2014come, and bring them, and make an impact in their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright. Let\u2019s listen as our friends, Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth, dive into Romans, Chapter 12. Nancy, of course, is the speaker on <em>Revive Our Hearts<\/em>, the daily radio program. She\u2019s a best-selling author. Robert is a best-selling author, as well, and a speaker. It was delightful to join them and be with them as we just dove into God\u2019s Word together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, this first verse\u2014you know, honey, I thought of living sacrifice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can I say one thing before you say that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Go! This is the conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I love this. And we\u2019re going to let you into our living room. This is how we\u2019ve been sitting, talking about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014this passage\u2014but just before the living sacrifice, the mercies of God\u2014if you remember, this is Chapter 12 of Romans. The first 11 chapters have been laying out for us how holy God is, how sinful we are, how much we deserve His wrath and His judgment, but that <em>He<\/em> took that wrath and judgment for us, and has extended His mercy and grace to us through Jesus Christ, our Savior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> So, in light of the gospel \/ those mercies, this is how we\u2019re supposed to live. As we\u2019ve been meditating on this, we\u2019ve been saying, \u201cLook, if we don\u2019t have the gospel in our marriage\u2014at the center of it \/ at the center of our own lives\u2014what chance do we have? We cannot live out all this stuff that we\u2019re just getting ready to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014\u201csee here\u2014if we don\u2019t have our lives really rooted in the gospel of Christ.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, if somebody says, \u201cI can\u2019t be a great husband,\u201d the answer to that is \u201cAmen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026wife.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026wife.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. Of course, you can\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, then, living sacrifice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so, you remember the Old Testament and the animal put on the altar? What kind of <em>rights<\/em> does the sacrifice have?\u2014none. So, when you get married, you relinquish your rights. As a believer, you\u2019ve already done that; but you relinquish your rights to each other. That\u2019s part of this <em>being one<\/em> thing\u2014that I have said to Nancy: \u201cI could say this\u201d \/ \u201cI could do this. I would have the <em>right<\/em> to do this or to say this; but I relinquish those rights like a living sacrifice.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> And the starting place for that is in our relationship with the Lord, presenting ourselves\u2014our bodies \/ everything about us\u2014to Him. Isn\u2019t it a whole lot easier to surrender ourselves to each other once we\u2019ve been surrendered to Christ? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Completely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> So, my body is His\u2014now, I can give my body to you, as a living sacrifice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, we know what that looks like to surrender to Him; and then surrender our rights to each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Every moment of every day is an opportunity to blend our lives together by surrendering, together, to Christ\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014and then to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Awesome. So, then, verse 2: \u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to this world.\u201d How hard is that? J.B. Phillips says, \u201cDon\u2019t let the world\u201d\u2014remember what it says?\u2014\u201csqueeze you into its mold.\u201d So, when hot plastic goes through this machine, and it gets sucked into a mold, it doesn\u2019t have a choice. So, by the mercies of God, we have presented ourselves as a sacrifice; and then, He gives us the right to <em>resist<\/em> being conformed to the world. On our own, it\u2019s a futile effort; but He helps us to not be conformed to the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> And how true is that in relation to what we believe about marriage? The world has a <em>mold<\/em> for marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014so \u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to the world, but be\u201d\u2014what\u2019s the word?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience:<\/strong> Transformed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ctransformed.\u201d Isn\u2019t that a great word? Be transformed \/ be different\u2014different is <em>good<\/em>. Would you say, \u201cAmen,\u201d to that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Different\u2014we\u2019re going to be different, and different is <em>good<\/em>. It\u2019s not weird or nerdy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014if it\u2019s lined up with God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> It\u2019s good. Different is good. We\u2019re going to be different here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, alright\u2014\u201c\u2026that you may discern the will of God.\u201d I have a question: \u201cWhat is the will of God for you, and what is the will of God for your marriage? Do you know that the Scripture tells us?\u201d It does; it does\u20141 Thessalonians 5:16-18\u2014right?\u2014ready? \u201cRejoice\u201d\u2014how would you like to be married to a rejoicing person?\u2014\u201cPray and give thanks for this is the will of God.\u201d So, rejoice, pray, give thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you find yourself, when you pray, that you tell the Lord things that you wouldn\u2019t necessarily say to each other, even if you are in each other\u2019s presence. So, from the very beginning, the Lord has given us the joy\u2014to Nancy and me\u2014the joy of praying together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> This has been a <em>huge<\/em> gift in our marriage and in our dating relationship; but first thing in the morning\u2014early this morning\u2014Robert is like o-dark-thirty \/ he\u2019s out of there. He\u2019s getting his coffee, and his Bible, and heading out. I\u2019m not <em>really<\/em> awake yet, but just enough\u2014that you\u2019ll lean over, put your face next to mine, and just commit this day to the Lord, praying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt night, it\u2019s the other way around. [Laughter] He\u2019s just <em>flat out<\/em>, and I\u2019m ready to go to work; but we pray. You pray, and it\u2019s not <em>long<\/em>. It\u2019s not theologically complex, but it\u2019s really sweet. For a wife, guys, what this does, in terms of giving security\u2014and I know it\u2019s a risk \/ it\u2019s vulnerable to do this; but sometimes, it seems like it\u2019s harder with the person you\u2019re closest to\u2014but what a sweet gift that has been in our marriage, honey, for you to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Oh, thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014just lead us to the throne of the Lord together. It\u2019s also really hard to stay mad at each other when you\u2019re praying together. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, this has helped us on a daily basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You know, if I could lovingly take you by the shoulders\u2014every man in this room\u2014I would say, \u201cOh, please, give that a try\u2014give that a try.\u201d So, like what would that mean? You said\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> It\u2019s a huge gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m humbling myself before the Lord. I\u2019m admitting that, without His participation in my day \/ without His control of this day, I\u2019m toasted. So, pray, give thanks, and rejoice: \u201cWow, I wonder what God\u2019s will is for me?\u201d <em>That\u2019s it<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre you ready to go on? Verse 3\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I love this about not thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought to think. This is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That never happens in a marriage; does it? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014just to go into our day or that discussion with that grid that is not exalting myself but exalting Christ and lifting up my mate\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and their perspective, and opinions, and desires as carrying weight\u2014and we\u2019ll come to that more in the passage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Humility is really hard to work on; isn\u2019t it? That\u2019s a gift. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to not think of ourselves more highly than we ought in our marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Next one, one body \/ many members\u2014is that where we\u2019re going, honey? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Nancy:<\/strong> The members don\u2019t all have the same function. We\u2019re one body in Christ \/ individually members of one another. We know how that relates to our relationship with Christ; but in marriage, the fact that we are one\u2014there is a unity there, but there is also diversity\u2014we are <em>different<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found myself\u2014even as we\u2019re going into this session, we prepare very differently. We present differently. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cHow do we do this as one in Christ?\u201d Well, the way we do it is\u2014I celebrate how God has wired Robert. It\u2019s not a matter of \u201cMy way is better \/ his is not as good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s more: \u201cThank You for the ways You have gifted him,\u201d and \u201cI need those in my life. I need his ability to be more spontaneous and, maybe, he needs something about my being not as spontaneous.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Maybe\u2014just maybe. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> We celebrate those differences; and that\u2019s what enables\u2014that\u2019s humility living out in that marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So interesting\u2014you know?\u2014the one body concept. You think of Genesis 2: \u201cA man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh.\u201d So, this text is used a lot relating to the church as the bride of Christ; but guess what? You and your mate are also the bride of Christ; okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can we\u2014I want to make sure we get to that verse 9. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Okay. \u201cLet love be genuine.\u201d No room for phonies; amen? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> But the very next word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cAbhor\u2026\u201d Some of your translations say, \u201cHate\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLet love be genuine; <em>hate<\/em> what is evil; hold fast to what is good.\u201d And what we do is\u2014we hate the evil, and the evil one, and his influence in our lives and in our marriage; we love each other so much that we want God, by His grace, to sluff off all the things in us that aren\u2019t like Jesus so that we can cling to \/ cherish what is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst say\u2014Robert\u2019s often saying, \u201cLord, let us go first. Lord, search me; search my heart; show me what isn\u2019t pure in me.\u201d But one of the beautiful things for me, having not been married all these years, is, now, to have the gift of someone who loves me\u2014tenaciously, and tenderly, and persistently, and beautifully\u2014but part of his love for me is that he, not only hates what is evil in his own life and is quick to repent of that and to seek forgiveness, but he hates what\u2019s evil in <em>my<\/em> life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s part of his love for me\u2014that can help me, and us together, not to be defensive when we can see things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a friend, who always said, \u201cThe last guy to know he\u2019s got a rip in his jacket is the guy who has got it on.\u201d So, we need each other. We have blind spots. I never lived with someone before who was pointing out, graciously, helpfully blind spots; because I couldn\u2019t see them. It\u2019s easy to be defensive and think, \u201cLook, at your own jacket, guy;\u201d but to be thankful that the love of this man for me and my love for him makes us want to help each other with those blind spots. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s so good. Think of holding a squirming child. Have you ever done that? [Laughter] You\u2019re holding a squirming child\u2014this text says, \u201cHold fast to what is good,\u201d\u2014so like a child\u2014the child wants to get out of your arms, where it isn\u2019t safe or good\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so you hang on tightly. You hang on tightly to what is good every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd look at this: \u201cLove one another with brotherly affection.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> You always talk about the most important ingredient in a marriage is? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> In our very first conversation, when we started to, at least, hover over the possibility of a relationship, I said, \u201cI\u2019m so eager for a friendship with you.\u201d That\u2019s what this is talking about\u2014a friendship. So, some folks talk to their dogs more kindly than they do to their mates. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014or guests in the home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Bobbie, my late wife, was an inspired person, who had a hair-trigger on her emotions. There was one time we were screaming at each other. I don\u2019t mean raising our voices\u2014I mean screaming at each other in the kitchen, and the phone rang. Now, if you had said to me, \u201cAre you out of control?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would have said, \u201cYes; I am completely out of control.\u201d This was back in the day when phones hung on the wall in the kitchen with a long cord. I picked it up, and I said [in a calm voice], \u201cHello?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> We\u2019ve all done it; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You know why?\u2014because it was friend on the end of this line. I thought I was out of control; I wasn\u2019t. I had <em>chosen<\/em> to be out of control. So, you treat your mate as a friend \/ as a brother or a sister in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can we do one more phrase there? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Do it\u2014showing honor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy: <\/strong>It\u2019s just something we really, really try to do. Robert is <em>amazing<\/em> at it\u2014let me just say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, like if you\u2019ve ever done a garage sale\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so, it\u2019s the night before, and it\u2019s really late; right? You\u2019ve got those little stickers, and what are you writing on the stickers?\u2014a price; right? You stick it on whatever that thing is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are voluntarily assigning <em>value<\/em> to that stuff. Every day, I put a value on this precious person. That\u2019s mine to assign; and if it\u2019s really valuable, then I will treat it like it is <em>really<\/em> valuable\u2014I will <em>honor<\/em> it. Does that make sense? That\u2019s a really important thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, each day, saying to myself, \u201cMan, Nancy is\u2014she is the rarest of gifts to me.\u201d So, you honor each other with brotherly affection. I speak to my mate like I would speak to a friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Just this morning, Robert said to me\u2014he\u2019s shaving\u2014and he goes, \u201cI love you so much.\u201d I mean, I was <em>so grateful<\/em>. I thanked him and said, \u201cLike what are you thinking? What makes you\u2014like in that moment, why did you just say\u2014was there something in particular?\u201d He says, \u201cI\u2019m just thinking about you and how much I love you.\u201d I thought: \u201cWhy should I just <em>think<\/em> it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI should <em>say<\/em> it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobert is good at that. I\u2019m not so\u2014I\u2019ve had to learn a lot \/ I\u2019m learning a lot about <em>verbalizing<\/em>. He\u2019s the romantic in our marriage. I know some of you women\u2014you say, you know, \u201cMy husband\u2019s not that way\u201d\u2014you can be different in this\u2014but we\u2019re learning from each other, and learning to honor, and to bless, and to think ahead: \u201cWhat would he enjoy?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tConversely, I\u2019ve seen when I <em>dishonor<\/em> my husband\u2014one of our first, really hard scenes was\u2014well, I won\u2019t tell the details because times out\u2014but outside a grocery store, where I had left him in the parking lot for what was supposed to be a few minutes, and it was\u2014he says it was an hour. [Laughter] I\u2019m not sure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Only because my watch told me that. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> But when I saw and sensed, in those next few minutes, how he felt <em>dishonored<\/em> by the fact that I hadn\u2019t communicated, it was a hard few moments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just <em>watched<\/em> the life kind of go out of this man\u2019s spirit and realized, \u201cHe\u2019s a sensitive man.\u201d Part of me is thinking, \u201cLike why are you so sensitive?\u201d I love it when he\u2019s sensitive and romantic; but not so much when he was sensitive in a hurtful moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, that was a great learning experience for me\u2014to think: \u201cI can bless this man. I can encourage him. I can strengthen him with my words as he does with me, day after day, and throughout each day.\u201d So, we\u2019re trying to <em>outdo<\/em> one another\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014in showing honor. And what\u2019s the goal?\u2014not just so we can bless each other\u2014we do that\u2014but ultimately, so our marriage can reflect the beauty, and the loveliness, and the worthiness of Christ. That\u2019s what we really want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great word from Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth: \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d You know, if you try to make that something you live out in your marriage, that\u2019s going to pay dividends for everybody; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it would do every listener well to memorize Romans, Chapter 12, verse 9: \u201cLet love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.\u201d I mean sometimes, we hold fast to what is evil \/ what is critical \/ what is bitterness; and we don\u2019t look out for the other person\u2019s best interest, Bob. The Scriptures are alive. They can help you really learn how to love your spouse and care for them in fresh ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you are thinking, \u201cYes; but how about my spouse caring for me like that?\u201d Well, maybe, instead of waiting for him or her to love you, you get busy with fulfilling your assignment from God by loving him or her with the love of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s been fun for us this week to get a chance to kind of relive what we got a chance to go through, a few weeks ago, when we were on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of the messages we\u2019ve featured this week have been from that event, and this is just a sample of what happens when we get together with hundreds of other couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, there were 3,000 of us. We take over the <em>whole<\/em> ship, and we spend a week together. I have to tell you\u2014I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve been on a cruise before or not; but when you\u2019ve got the whole boat, and when it\u2019s all people who are there with the same heartbeat for marriage, it really is an amazing experience. In fact, that\u2019s one of the reasons why we are already more than 70 percent sold out for next year\u2019s cruise. A lot of people, who were on this year\u2019s cruise, said, \u201cWe\u2019re coming again next year.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I wanted to make sure that you, as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, had the opportunity to join us before all the cabins are gone. If you\u2019d like to be with us, now is the time to act; because we expect, in the next 30 days, we will sell out next year\u2019s cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some special rates available between now and March 19<sup>th<\/sup>. If you need more information, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The best thing to do is to call and get any questions you have answered. You can get registered over the phone. Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this weekend, we\u2019ve got hundreds of couples who are getting away for a weekend getaway\u2014couples in Boise, Idaho; Columbus, Ohio; Des Moines, Iowa; and in Kansas City\u2014actually, Kansas City, Kansas \/ it\u2019s in Overland Park\u2014couples who are going to be coming out for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway. Would you guys pray for those couples as they take time to invest in their marriage relationship this weekend? If you\u2019d like more information about how <em>you<\/em> can have a weekend getaway with your spouse, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you have a <em>great<\/em> weekend this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to hear from a pastor who reflects on the significant role his father played in shaping the man he is today. Crawford Loritts joins us Monday. I hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. He got some help from our friend, Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Hope you have a <em>great<\/em> weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:33:20"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["30.51M"],"filesize_raw":["31994668"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-300171.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-300171.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Nancy Wolgemuth walk us through Romans 12:1-4, 9. Together they share some marriage lessons they've learned from this important passage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2018-03-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just how much are we in control of our own emotions? Robert Wolgemuth says, \u201cIt\u2019s more than we realize.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Bobbie, my late wife\u2014she was an inspired person, who had a hair-trigger on her emotions. There was one time we were screaming at each other in the kitchen, and the phone rang. [Phone ringing]\u00a0 Now, if you had said to me, \u201cAre you out of control?\u201d I would have said, \u201cYes; I am completely out of control.\u201d [Phone ringing] I picked it up [speaking calmly]: \u201cHello?\u201d [Laughter] I thought I was out of control\u2014I wasn\u2019t. I had <em>chosen<\/em> to be out of control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can we, as a married couple, <em>outdo<\/em> one another in showing honor?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what the Bible tells us to do. Well, in order to do that, we\u2019ve got to understand how to control our passions. We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, one of the things I\u2019ve realized over time is that most of us think there are a handful of verses in the Bible that talk about marriage, specifically; but we don\u2019t typically think about other passages that talk about relationships as being about marriage. If you stop and think\u2014Jesus said all of the law and the prophets is summed up in this: \u201cLove God and love your neighbor.\u201d Well, who\u2019s your closest neighbor?\u2014it\u2019s the person you married; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, everything that the Bible has to say about how we\u2019re to relate to one another \/ how we\u2019re to live with one another applies, first, in a marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, we\u2019re going to spend some time in a passage that I think is being overlooked today. I haven\u2019t heard nearly enough messages from Romans, Chapter 12, especially the first two verses, really, in a couple of decades. I think there is a reason; because this challenges us to our core: \u201cWill we surrender <em>all<\/em> to Jesus Christ?\u201d Just listen to these verses of Romans 12: \u201cI appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.\u201d Then, verse 9, which really is a great marriage verse: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLet love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast\u201d\u2014hold fast\u2014\u201cto what is good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Those really are <em>great<\/em> verses for us to apply in marriage. That\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> what our friends, Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth, did a few weeks ago when they joined us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise. One morning, they opened up Romans 12 and just had a conversation with all of us there, where they talked about this passage, and how it applies in marriage, and shared insights with all of us. That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to hear today\u2014is what that dialogue sounded like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to mention\u2014again, we\u2019ve been talking about it this week. If you would like to join us onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise next year, we have more than 70 percent of the cabins reserved for 2019. So, if you\u2019re at all interested, now is the time to get more information or reserve your cabin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll be travelling to Honduras, to Belize, and to Key West next year. We\u2019ve got speakers like Voddie Baucham, Dr. Juli Slattery. Ron Deal is going to join us. Alex and Stephen Kendrick will be back with a rough-cut of their new movie that they are just starting to work on now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information about the cruise, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can sign up to be with us by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. You better do it quickly because staterooms are starting to go. We\u2019d love to have you be on the cruise with us next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I ran into a young man from Nebraska, who said: \u201cDennis, my wife and I came to this six years ago. It so impacted our lives that we went back and invited our two pastors of our church to come with us with their wives.\u201d He said, \u201cThey had a time of <em>renewal<\/em> on the cruise.\u201d This year, he said he was back; and I think he told me they brought six pastors and their spouses this year. You\u2019re talking about somebody who really believes, first of all, in the ministry of the local church and wants to find a way to bless pastors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you are a pastor. You wouldn\u2019t turn somebody down if they gave you this cruise; would you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019d find a way to carve out some time on my schedule so we could do that; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think I would as well. Find a way to bless somebody\u2014come, and bring them, and make an impact in their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright. Let\u2019s listen as our friends, Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth, dive into Romans, Chapter 12. Nancy, of course, is the speaker on <em>Revive Our Hearts<\/em>, the daily radio program. She\u2019s a best-selling author. Robert is a best-selling author, as well, and a speaker. It was delightful to join them and be with them as we just dove into God\u2019s Word together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, this first verse\u2014you know, honey, I thought of living sacrifice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can I say one thing before you say that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Go! This is the conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I love this. And we\u2019re going to let you into our living room. This is how we\u2019ve been sitting, talking about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014this passage\u2014but just before the living sacrifice, the mercies of God\u2014if you remember, this is Chapter 12 of Romans. The first 11 chapters have been laying out for us how holy God is, how sinful we are, how much we deserve His wrath and His judgment, but that <em>He<\/em> took that wrath and judgment for us, and has extended His mercy and grace to us through Jesus Christ, our Savior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> So, in light of the gospel \/ those mercies, this is how we\u2019re supposed to live. As we\u2019ve been meditating on this, we\u2019ve been saying, \u201cLook, if we don\u2019t have the gospel in our marriage\u2014at the center of it \/ at the center of our own lives\u2014what chance do we have? We cannot live out all this stuff that we\u2019re just getting ready to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014\u201csee here\u2014if we don\u2019t have our lives really rooted in the gospel of Christ.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, if somebody says, \u201cI can\u2019t be a great husband,\u201d the answer to that is \u201cAmen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026wife.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026wife.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. Of course, you can\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, then, living sacrifice\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so, you remember the Old Testament and the animal put on the altar? What kind of <em>rights<\/em> does the sacrifice have?\u2014none. So, when you get married, you relinquish your rights. As a believer, you\u2019ve already done that; but you relinquish your rights to each other. That\u2019s part of this <em>being one<\/em> thing\u2014that I have said to Nancy: \u201cI could say this\u201d \/ \u201cI could do this. I would have the <em>right<\/em> to do this or to say this; but I relinquish those rights like a living sacrifice.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> And the starting place for that is in our relationship with the Lord, presenting ourselves\u2014our bodies \/ everything about us\u2014to Him. Isn\u2019t it a whole lot easier to surrender ourselves to each other once we\u2019ve been surrendered to Christ? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Completely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> So, my body is His\u2014now, I can give my body to you, as a living sacrifice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, we know what that looks like to surrender to Him; and then surrender our rights to each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Every moment of every day is an opportunity to blend our lives together by surrendering, together, to Christ\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Right; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014and then to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Awesome. So, then, verse 2: \u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to this world.\u201d How hard is that? J.B. Phillips says, \u201cDon\u2019t let the world\u201d\u2014remember what it says?\u2014\u201csqueeze you into its mold.\u201d So, when hot plastic goes through this machine, and it gets sucked into a mold, it doesn\u2019t have a choice. So, by the mercies of God, we have presented ourselves as a sacrifice; and then, He gives us the right to <em>resist<\/em> being conformed to the world. On our own, it\u2019s a futile effort; but He helps us to not be conformed to the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> And how true is that in relation to what we believe about marriage? The world has a <em>mold<\/em> for marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014so \u201cDon\u2019t be conformed to the world, but be\u201d\u2014what\u2019s the word?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience:<\/strong> Transformed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014\u201ctransformed.\u201d Isn\u2019t that a great word? Be transformed \/ be different\u2014different is <em>good<\/em>. Would you say, \u201cAmen,\u201d to that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Different\u2014we\u2019re going to be different, and different is <em>good<\/em>. It\u2019s not weird or nerdy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014if it\u2019s lined up with God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> It\u2019s good. Different is good. We\u2019re going to be different here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, alright\u2014\u201c\u2026that you may discern the will of God.\u201d I have a question: \u201cWhat is the will of God for you, and what is the will of God for your marriage? Do you know that the Scripture tells us?\u201d It does; it does\u20141 Thessalonians 5:16-18\u2014right?\u2014ready? \u201cRejoice\u201d\u2014how would you like to be married to a rejoicing person?\u2014\u201cPray and give thanks for this is the will of God.\u201d So, rejoice, pray, give thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you find yourself, when you pray, that you tell the Lord things that you wouldn\u2019t necessarily say to each other, even if you are in each other\u2019s presence. So, from the very beginning, the Lord has given us the joy\u2014to Nancy and me\u2014the joy of praying together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> This has been a <em>huge<\/em> gift in our marriage and in our dating relationship; but first thing in the morning\u2014early this morning\u2014Robert is like o-dark-thirty \/ he\u2019s out of there. He\u2019s getting his coffee, and his Bible, and heading out. I\u2019m not <em>really<\/em> awake yet, but just enough\u2014that you\u2019ll lean over, put your face next to mine, and just commit this day to the Lord, praying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt night, it\u2019s the other way around. [Laughter] He\u2019s just <em>flat out<\/em>, and I\u2019m ready to go to work; but we pray. You pray, and it\u2019s not <em>long<\/em>. It\u2019s not theologically complex, but it\u2019s really sweet. For a wife, guys, what this does, in terms of giving security\u2014and I know it\u2019s a risk \/ it\u2019s vulnerable to do this; but sometimes, it seems like it\u2019s harder with the person you\u2019re closest to\u2014but what a sweet gift that has been in our marriage, honey, for you to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Oh, thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014just lead us to the throne of the Lord together. It\u2019s also really hard to stay mad at each other when you\u2019re praying together. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, this has helped us on a daily basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You know, if I could lovingly take you by the shoulders\u2014every man in this room\u2014I would say, \u201cOh, please, give that a try\u2014give that a try.\u201d So, like what would that mean? You said\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> It\u2019s a huge gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m humbling myself before the Lord. I\u2019m admitting that, without His participation in my day \/ without His control of this day, I\u2019m toasted. So, pray, give thanks, and rejoice: \u201cWow, I wonder what God\u2019s will is for me?\u201d <em>That\u2019s it<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre you ready to go on? Verse 3\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> I love this about not thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought to think. This is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That never happens in a marriage; does it? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014just to go into our day or that discussion with that grid that is not exalting myself but exalting Christ and lifting up my mate\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and their perspective, and opinions, and desires as carrying weight\u2014and we\u2019ll come to that more in the passage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Humility is really hard to work on; isn\u2019t it? That\u2019s a gift. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to not think of ourselves more highly than we ought in our marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Next one, one body \/ many members\u2014is that where we\u2019re going, honey? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Nancy:<\/strong> The members don\u2019t all have the same function. We\u2019re one body in Christ \/ individually members of one another. We know how that relates to our relationship with Christ; but in marriage, the fact that we are one\u2014there is a unity there, but there is also diversity\u2014we are <em>different<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found myself\u2014even as we\u2019re going into this session, we prepare very differently. We present differently. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cHow do we do this as one in Christ?\u201d Well, the way we do it is\u2014I celebrate how God has wired Robert. It\u2019s not a matter of \u201cMy way is better \/ his is not as good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s more: \u201cThank You for the ways You have gifted him,\u201d and \u201cI need those in my life. I need his ability to be more spontaneous and, maybe, he needs something about my being not as spontaneous.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Maybe\u2014just maybe. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> We celebrate those differences; and that\u2019s what enables\u2014that\u2019s humility living out in that marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So interesting\u2014you know?\u2014the one body concept. You think of Genesis 2: \u201cA man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh.\u201d So, this text is used a lot relating to the church as the bride of Christ; but guess what? You and your mate are also the bride of Christ; okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can we\u2014I want to make sure we get to that verse 9. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Okay. \u201cLet love be genuine.\u201d No room for phonies; amen? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> But the very next word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cAbhor\u2026\u201d Some of your translations say, \u201cHate\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLet love be genuine; <em>hate<\/em> what is evil; hold fast to what is good.\u201d And what we do is\u2014we hate the evil, and the evil one, and his influence in our lives and in our marriage; we love each other so much that we want God, by His grace, to sluff off all the things in us that aren\u2019t like Jesus so that we can cling to \/ cherish what is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst say\u2014Robert\u2019s often saying, \u201cLord, let us go first. Lord, search me; search my heart; show me what isn\u2019t pure in me.\u201d But one of the beautiful things for me, having not been married all these years, is, now, to have the gift of someone who loves me\u2014tenaciously, and tenderly, and persistently, and beautifully\u2014but part of his love for me is that he, not only hates what is evil in his own life and is quick to repent of that and to seek forgiveness, but he hates what\u2019s evil in <em>my<\/em> life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s part of his love for me\u2014that can help me, and us together, not to be defensive when we can see things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a friend, who always said, \u201cThe last guy to know he\u2019s got a rip in his jacket is the guy who has got it on.\u201d So, we need each other. We have blind spots. I never lived with someone before who was pointing out, graciously, helpfully blind spots; because I couldn\u2019t see them. It\u2019s easy to be defensive and think, \u201cLook, at your own jacket, guy;\u201d but to be thankful that the love of this man for me and my love for him makes us want to help each other with those blind spots. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> That\u2019s so good. Think of holding a squirming child. Have you ever done that? [Laughter] You\u2019re holding a squirming child\u2014this text says, \u201cHold fast to what is good,\u201d\u2014so like a child\u2014the child wants to get out of your arms, where it isn\u2019t safe or good\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so you hang on tightly. You hang on tightly to what is good every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd look at this: \u201cLove one another with brotherly affection.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> You always talk about the most important ingredient in a marriage is? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> In our very first conversation, when we started to, at least, hover over the possibility of a relationship, I said, \u201cI\u2019m so eager for a friendship with you.\u201d That\u2019s what this is talking about\u2014a friendship. So, some folks talk to their dogs more kindly than they do to their mates. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014or guests in the home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Bobbie, my late wife, was an inspired person, who had a hair-trigger on her emotions. There was one time we were screaming at each other. I don\u2019t mean raising our voices\u2014I mean screaming at each other in the kitchen, and the phone rang. Now, if you had said to me, \u201cAre you out of control?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would have said, \u201cYes; I am completely out of control.\u201d This was back in the day when phones hung on the wall in the kitchen with a long cord. I picked it up, and I said [in a calm voice], \u201cHello?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> We\u2019ve all done it; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> You know why?\u2014because it was friend on the end of this line. I thought I was out of control; I wasn\u2019t. I had <em>chosen<\/em> to be out of control. So, you treat your mate as a friend \/ as a brother or a sister in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Can we do one more phrase there? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Do it\u2014showing honor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy: <\/strong>It\u2019s just something we really, really try to do. Robert is <em>amazing<\/em> at it\u2014let me just say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> So, like if you\u2019ve ever done a garage sale\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so, it\u2019s the night before, and it\u2019s really late; right? You\u2019ve got those little stickers, and what are you writing on the stickers?\u2014a price; right? You stick it on whatever that thing is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are voluntarily assigning <em>value<\/em> to that stuff. Every day, I put a value on this precious person. That\u2019s mine to assign; and if it\u2019s really valuable, then I will treat it like it is <em>really<\/em> valuable\u2014I will <em>honor<\/em> it. Does that make sense? That\u2019s a really important thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, each day, saying to myself, \u201cMan, Nancy is\u2014she is the rarest of gifts to me.\u201d So, you honor each other with brotherly affection. I speak to my mate like I would speak to a friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Nancy:<\/strong> Just this morning, Robert said to me\u2014he\u2019s shaving\u2014and he goes, \u201cI love you so much.\u201d I mean, I was <em>so grateful<\/em>. I thanked him and said, \u201cLike what are you thinking? What makes you\u2014like in that moment, why did you just say\u2014was there something in particular?\u201d He says, \u201cI\u2019m just thinking about you and how much I love you.\u201d I thought: \u201cWhy should I just <em>think<\/em> it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI should <em>say<\/em> it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobert is good at that. I\u2019m not so\u2014I\u2019ve had to learn a lot \/ I\u2019m learning a lot about <em>verbalizing<\/em>. He\u2019s the romantic in our marriage. I know some of you women\u2014you say, you know, \u201cMy husband\u2019s not that way\u201d\u2014you can be different in this\u2014but we\u2019re learning from each other, and learning to honor, and to bless, and to think ahead: \u201cWhat would he enjoy?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tConversely, I\u2019ve seen when I <em>dishonor<\/em> my husband\u2014one of our first, really hard scenes was\u2014well, I won\u2019t tell the details because times out\u2014but outside a grocery store, where I had left him in the parking lot for what was supposed to be a few minutes, and it was\u2014he says it was an hour. [Laughter] I\u2019m not sure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Only because my watch told me that. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> But when I saw and sensed, in those next few minutes, how he felt <em>dishonored<\/em> by the fact that I hadn\u2019t communicated, it was a hard few moments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just <em>watched<\/em> the life kind of go out of this man\u2019s spirit and realized, \u201cHe\u2019s a sensitive man.\u201d Part of me is thinking, \u201cLike why are you so sensitive?\u201d I love it when he\u2019s sensitive and romantic; but not so much when he was sensitive in a hurtful moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, that was a great learning experience for me\u2014to think: \u201cI can bless this man. I can encourage him. I can strengthen him with my words as he does with me, day after day, and throughout each day.\u201d So, we\u2019re trying to <em>outdo<\/em> one another\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong> \u2014in showing honor. And what\u2019s the goal?\u2014not just so we can bless each other\u2014we do that\u2014but ultimately, so our marriage can reflect the beauty, and the loveliness, and the worthiness of Christ. That\u2019s what we really want. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great word from Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth: \u201cOutdo one another in showing honor.\u201d You know, if you try to make that something you live out in your marriage, that\u2019s going to pay dividends for everybody; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it would do every listener well to memorize Romans, Chapter 12, verse 9: \u201cLet love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.\u201d I mean sometimes, we hold fast to what is evil \/ what is critical \/ what is bitterness; and we don\u2019t look out for the other person\u2019s best interest, Bob. The Scriptures are alive. They can help you really learn how to love your spouse and care for them in fresh ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you are thinking, \u201cYes; but how about my spouse caring for me like that?\u201d Well, maybe, instead of waiting for him or her to love you, you get busy with fulfilling your assignment from God by loving him or her with the love of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s been fun for us this week to get a chance to kind of relive what we got a chance to go through, a few weeks ago, when we were on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of the messages we\u2019ve featured this week have been from that event, and this is just a sample of what happens when we get together with hundreds of other couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, there were 3,000 of us. We take over the <em>whole<\/em> ship, and we spend a week together. I have to tell you\u2014I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve been on a cruise before or not; but when you\u2019ve got the whole boat, and when it\u2019s all people who are there with the same heartbeat for marriage, it really is an amazing experience. In fact, that\u2019s one of the reasons why we are already more than 70 percent sold out for next year\u2019s cruise. A lot of people, who were on this year\u2019s cruise, said, \u201cWe\u2019re coming again next year.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I wanted to make sure that you, as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, had the opportunity to join us before all the cabins are gone. If you\u2019d like to be with us, now is the time to act; because we expect, in the next 30 days, we will sell out next year\u2019s cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some special rates available between now and March 19<sup>th<\/sup>. If you need more information, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The best thing to do is to call and get any questions you have answered. You can get registered over the phone. Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this weekend, we\u2019ve got hundreds of couples who are getting away for a weekend getaway\u2014couples in Boise, Idaho; Columbus, Ohio; Des Moines, Iowa; and in Kansas City\u2014actually, Kansas City, Kansas \/ it\u2019s in Overland Park\u2014couples who are going to be coming out for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway. Would you guys pray for those couples as they take time to invest in their marriage relationship this weekend? If you\u2019d like more information about how <em>you<\/em> can have a weekend getaway with your spouse, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you have a <em>great<\/em> weekend this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to hear from a pastor who reflects on the significant role his father played in shaping the man he is today. Crawford Loritts joins us Monday. I hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch. He got some help from our friend, Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Hope you have a <em>great<\/em> weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> of Little Rock, Arkansas; \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2018 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/300171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300171"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300171"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=300171"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=300171"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=300171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}